Thread by Zara DeGeneres she/her ⛤
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- Feb 24, 2023
- #HumanSexuality
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🧵🧵🧵THREAD:
Sometimes in education, a student hits you with what can only be described as a "curveball". In my case, as a provider of consent-awareness and sex-positivity-oriented courses, I often find myself getting pulled towards some rather tricky...
Sometimes in education, a student hits you with what can only be described as a "curveball". In my case, as a provider of consent-awareness and sex-positivity-oriented courses, I often find myself getting pulled towards some rather tricky...
...and politically fractious subjects.
One common conflict, is where my responsibility to teach students *responsible self-conduct within the law*, clashes with the importance of teaching *assertiveness and agency* within their sexual relations. This tension often flares up...
One common conflict, is where my responsibility to teach students *responsible self-conduct within the law*, clashes with the importance of teaching *assertiveness and agency* within their sexual relations. This tension often flares up...
...when we are discussing Age of Consent laws, and the ever-changing "close-in-age" exemptions of some other jurisdictions.
A reply I often hear when explaining the topic of sexual relations among minors and between minors and adults, is "how is it abuse if I wanted it?"...
A reply I often hear when explaining the topic of sexual relations among minors and between minors and adults, is "how is it abuse if I wanted it?"...
This, is of course, a reasonable question for a young person to ask, and shows a precocious and admirable degree of critical thinking.
The answer to this question, is (deep breath...) that sex between a minor and an adult isn't *intrinsically* abusive, nor innately harmful!
The answer to this question, is (deep breath...) that sex between a minor and an adult isn't *intrinsically* abusive, nor innately harmful!
But socially "inappropriate" in christian america... sure, I won't contest that one. Irresponsible? Well, maybe, particularly if highly religious parents or radfem-adjacent moms are alerted, which can lead to serious legal repercussions that I have witnessed first-hand.
One thing I do quite often, is get the kids to ask themselves whether there is some kind of "trip switch" inside their brains, or some kind of hardwired biological mechanism which ensures they will be traumatized if somebody touches them sexually before they pass a legally... 
...determined age cut-off. This is a useful thought-experiment, because of course, the idea is an absurdity. An ahistorical and evidentially devoid absurdity!
Since harm in casual relations with peers and adults comes from guilt and social conditioning...
Since harm in casual relations with peers and adults comes from guilt and social conditioning...
...or in thankfully rare cases, force, which is always wrong, it's important to drill these ideas into kids from an early age. As sex-positive educators, we have a responsibility *not* to teach the next generation to see themselves as helpless victims, especially young girls...
...who are known to be the demographic most at risk of purity culture, social shaming and gaslighting. Consent is such an important subject to teach when it comes to preventative public health, as when kids are equipped with the *right kind* of information...
...and feel they are in control, secondary harms can often be averted.
It is, of course, a great relief for my students to learn they are not innately "dirty", corrupted, or bound to suffer some great psychological torture following consensual sex play...
It is, of course, a great relief for my students to learn they are not innately "dirty", corrupted, or bound to suffer some great psychological torture following consensual sex play...
...with partners of their own (or any) age. If any of them ask for evidence, or repeat the hogwash about sex being intrinsically harmful (usually learned from the trafficking/rescue industry, prohibitionists, quack TV doctors and "grooming" RW culture warriors)...
...I then immediately point them towards the work of Bruce L Rind, described by one author as "scientifically correct, politically incorrect".
Rind's original 1998 study in the thread attached, has not only been passed by regulators...
Rind's original 1998 study in the thread attached, has not only been passed by regulators...
...but successfully repeated on two occasions (Ulrich, Daly), and his more recent work with a Finnish sample is VERY interesting.
mirror.amapin.love/download/rind-2022-your-5-minute-guide/
mirror.amapin.love/download/rind-2022-your-5-minute-guide/
For LGBT and Queer kids, I usually reproduce this flyer, which informs them that positive experiences are far from an outlier, nor something to be ashamed of. This is particularly important in the case of groups that are already marginalized, including...
...those who may just be starting on the path to discovering that they *themselves* are among the 1 in 5 thought to be minor attracted people.
⚠️⚠️⚠️DISCLAIMER:
Please do not interpret this thread as incitement to any illegal or otherwise irresponsible activity. Obey the law and be wary of purity campaigners, TERFs, vigilantes, activist law enforcement, glowies/fake AAMs and vociferous bigots, wherever you are.
Peace.
Please do not interpret this thread as incitement to any illegal or otherwise irresponsible activity. Obey the law and be wary of purity campaigners, TERFs, vigilantes, activist law enforcement, glowies/fake AAMs and vociferous bigots, wherever you are.
Peace.
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