My single recommendation for storing large sums of Bitcoin for the average anon pleb.

Use a single signature airgapped Coldcard, ideally with a strong passphrase. Manage this using Sparrow Wallet.

Put 100 hours into learning this, just like you did with learning to drive.

Use metal backup devices to store your seed and passphrase. Install a safe in your home.

When ordering goods online, use a PO Box, Parcel Locker or work address. Don't give your home address.

Here's a great guide you can follow. Read in full before attempting at home.
sparrowwallet.com/docs/coldcard-wallet.html

Is this a perfect solution? Absolutely not. During your 100 hours of learning, you should understand the risks and limitations of using a Coldcard.

Start slow and small, get comfortable, then move along.

There are no solutions, only trade offs.