Thread
Full-transparency. The last two years were a horror story for me
And on New Years, as the ball dropped, my whole world collapsed
I've never told anyone the story of what has happened. Everything you're about to read is completely true
This is PART 1 👇🏼
And on New Years, as the ball dropped, my whole world collapsed
I've never told anyone the story of what has happened. Everything you're about to read is completely true
This is PART 1 👇🏼
First of all, I want to say that this story is not to garner sympathy. It's simply an attempt at opening up for the first time, humanizing myself, and seeking healing through vulnerability
It is to prove to myself that I CAN and WILL rise from the ashes in 2023
It is to prove to myself that I CAN and WILL rise from the ashes in 2023
Over the last two years, 2 things happened to me:
1) At the age of 27, I left my life behind to become the full-time caretaker of my dying father
2) I was viciously terrorized and betrayed by the love of my life
Even I can't fully fathom the reality of what transpired
1) At the age of 27, I left my life behind to become the full-time caretaker of my dying father
2) I was viciously terrorized and betrayed by the love of my life
Even I can't fully fathom the reality of what transpired
In early 2021, I had it all
• I had become one of the most decorated sales executives for one of the biggest companies on earth
• The two real estate investing companies that I had founded years earlier were skyrocketing
• I was traveling the world. Life had never been better
• I had become one of the most decorated sales executives for one of the biggest companies on earth
• The two real estate investing companies that I had founded years earlier were skyrocketing
• I was traveling the world. Life had never been better
Everything was clicking. I figured it was time to officially turn the girl of my dreams into my wife. She was my everything, since the age of 17
I began the process of planning for an engagement
But all that was sidelined after a single phone call...
I began the process of planning for an engagement
But all that was sidelined after a single phone call...
In July, I received word that my father was dying. Not only that, but it was discovered that he was $100K in debt and was about to be evicted
My dad had no one, except for me. My parents had divorced long ago, and throughout the years he had alienated any friends he had
My dad had no one, except for me. My parents had divorced long ago, and throughout the years he had alienated any friends he had
What made matters worse, was that he lived across the country and had suffered several major strokes, so he couldn't even communicate his needs to me
I had no choice but to act, and act as quickly as possible. I believed it to be my duty to save my childhood hero
I had no choice but to act, and act as quickly as possible. I believed it to be my duty to save my childhood hero
So in August of '21, I requested a LOV from work - a mortal sin for someone in my role
I proceeded to close on a house within 14 days, one that was conducive for caretaking, as I had been living in a top-floor loft downtown
Paperwork signed, I boarded the next flight to my dad
I proceeded to close on a house within 14 days, one that was conducive for caretaking, as I had been living in a top-floor loft downtown
Paperwork signed, I boarded the next flight to my dad
Upon arrival, I discovered my dad was in worse shape physically and financially than I had originally thought
I needed to get him under my care as fast as possible and would figure out everything later
I rented a moving van, packed up his entire life, and hit the road
I needed to get him under my care as fast as possible and would figure out everything later
I rented a moving van, packed up his entire life, and hit the road
I was playing everything by ear
There had not been enough time to develop any kind of plan, but I knew analysis-paralysis would have been detrimental
So I just prayed and trusted that God would guide me
There had not been enough time to develop any kind of plan, but I knew analysis-paralysis would have been detrimental
So I just prayed and trusted that God would guide me
As we drove across the country, everything went wrong
Multiple health emergencies. The Uhaul broke down several times. Bad weather caused us to slip off the road at one point. Hotels lost our reservations TWICE. And our van was even broken into in the middle of the night
Multiple health emergencies. The Uhaul broke down several times. Bad weather caused us to slip off the road at one point. Hotels lost our reservations TWICE. And our van was even broken into in the middle of the night
After what felt like an eternity, we made it home
I hadn't even had time to get him a bed yet, so after unloading the van at 11pm, I scrambled to find a mattress on Craigslist
I found one, set him up in the master bedroom. And I collapsed on my air mattress in the basement
I hadn't even had time to get him a bed yet, so after unloading the van at 11pm, I scrambled to find a mattress on Craigslist
I found one, set him up in the master bedroom. And I collapsed on my air mattress in the basement
I awoke from a huge thud above me
My dad had attempted to use the restroom, forgot he couldn't walk, and fell. Hard. Lacerating his head and arms
His meds reduced clotting, so blood was everywhere. I spent the next several hours applying pressure to his wounds while he slept
My dad had attempted to use the restroom, forgot he couldn't walk, and fell. Hard. Lacerating his head and arms
His meds reduced clotting, so blood was everywhere. I spent the next several hours applying pressure to his wounds while he slept
The early days were brutal
I wasn't equipped to care for a gaunt elderly man, especially one that could hardly communicate and forgot where he was every morning
I was starting to realize that I had committed to something that would likely change the trajectory of my life
I wasn't equipped to care for a gaunt elderly man, especially one that could hardly communicate and forgot where he was every morning
I was starting to realize that I had committed to something that would likely change the trajectory of my life
Over the course of the next several weeks, the horrid nature of everything started to unravel
Imagine, for a moment, trying to take ownership over someone's entire life when they don't know ANYTHING
Medications, insurance, bank accounts, debt collectors, even email passwords
Imagine, for a moment, trying to take ownership over someone's entire life when they don't know ANYTHING
Medications, insurance, bank accounts, debt collectors, even email passwords
Imagine how your life would implode if, all of a sudden, you forgot everything about your life
I was living a nightmare trying to manage it all. Every time I put out one fire, another five would light ablaze. I realized my dad had completely sabotaged his own life
It was hell
I was living a nightmare trying to manage it all. Every time I put out one fire, another five would light ablaze. I realized my dad had completely sabotaged his own life
It was hell
By this time, I was attempting to work again - a job that required weekly travel to many states across the country
I am not one to ever ask for help from anyone, so attempted to manage it all on my own. An impossible task
I am not one to ever ask for help from anyone, so attempted to manage it all on my own. An impossible task
My own health was declining at a terrifying pace
My work performance had plummeted
And, worst of all, my relationship started to eerily deteriorate. THIS scared me the most
My work performance had plummeted
And, worst of all, my relationship started to eerily deteriorate. THIS scared me the most
So I came to a crossroads... my dream job, or my father's life
I chose my father's life. So I quit.
But despite the blessing of my early financial prosperity, my funds were being drained at a rapid pace due to my dad's medical bills and debts
I chose my father's life. So I quit.
But despite the blessing of my early financial prosperity, my funds were being drained at a rapid pace due to my dad's medical bills and debts
What I didn't realize was that that decision cost me more than money
It cost me my ultimate dream - a marriage to the love of my life
I couldn't afford the risk of spending money on a ring, an engagement, or a wedding
I felt like a sorry excuse of a man
It cost me my ultimate dream - a marriage to the love of my life
I couldn't afford the risk of spending money on a ring, an engagement, or a wedding
I felt like a sorry excuse of a man
Rather than receiving understanding from her and her family, they proceed to disparage me
They turned their backs on me in my greatest time of need. I had been betrayed by the family I loved as my own
If that seems unbelievable, trust me, I couldn't believe it myself
They turned their backs on me in my greatest time of need. I had been betrayed by the family I loved as my own
If that seems unbelievable, trust me, I couldn't believe it myself
Before I continue,
Let me preface: This is my dream girl (I will refer to her as "-S-")
We started dating at 17. I cannot begin to articulate how much I loved her. It goes beyond words
What she did over the following 1.5 years is incomprehensible...
Let me preface: This is my dream girl (I will refer to her as "-S-")
We started dating at 17. I cannot begin to articulate how much I loved her. It goes beyond words
What she did over the following 1.5 years is incomprehensible...
At the end of October, bad turned to worse - a haunting common theme of this story
In the midst of all the chaos surrounding my father, I received a call from -S- asking to talk to me
I obliged. As always, we were a team and I'd go to the ends of the earth to help her
In the midst of all the chaos surrounding my father, I received a call from -S- asking to talk to me
I obliged. As always, we were a team and I'd go to the ends of the earth to help her
As we sat down to talk I realized she didn't need help
In fact, to my horror, she went on to explain that she did not need ME at all
It turns out that she was making me aware that she was leaving me for another man
My world turned upside down
But it was only the beginning
In fact, to my horror, she went on to explain that she did not need ME at all
It turns out that she was making me aware that she was leaving me for another man
My world turned upside down
But it was only the beginning
The person I loved and trusted more than any other just up and left
Years of past memories and decades of future, gone in a single instant
My life was in shambles, every day becoming more painful than the last
Years of past memories and decades of future, gone in a single instant
My life was in shambles, every day becoming more painful than the last
As strange as it sounds, -S- and I had shared a Spotify playlist for years
It had liad dormant until, one day, I started to notice that some new songs were being added
Although she would rarely answer my calls/texts/letters, -S- had begun to communicate through the playlist
It had liad dormant until, one day, I started to notice that some new songs were being added
Although she would rarely answer my calls/texts/letters, -S- had begun to communicate through the playlist
I didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of a maliciously calculated mind-f*ckery that would last for months
The songs that were being added were specifically targeted to give me hope of reconciliation. And that's exactly what they did
A sliver of hope emerged
The songs that were being added were specifically targeted to give me hope of reconciliation. And that's exactly what they did
A sliver of hope emerged
For nearly two months, we exchanged messages through the lyrics of songs
It sounds childish, but it was all I had
It all came to a screeching halt when a new song was added by -S- one night - "How to Be Yours" by Chris Renzema
It sounds childish, but it was all I had
It all came to a screeching halt when a new song was added by -S- one night - "How to Be Yours" by Chris Renzema
"You say that you love me,
Don't say that you love me.
'Cause I don't know how to be yours."
Killshot
Despite clinging to the hope that -S- would come to her senses... after hearing those lyrics, my hope had vanished
I didn't add another song
Don't say that you love me.
'Cause I don't know how to be yours."
Killshot
Despite clinging to the hope that -S- would come to her senses... after hearing those lyrics, my hope had vanished
I didn't add another song
Nov-Dec were a dystopian blur
-S- had toyed w/me on and off, leaving me with only an echoing mind of unanswered questions
A ferocious depression set in for the first time in my life
The only thing that got me up in the morning was knowing that another human was counting on me
-S- had toyed w/me on and off, leaving me with only an echoing mind of unanswered questions
A ferocious depression set in for the first time in my life
The only thing that got me up in the morning was knowing that another human was counting on me
I directed all my energy on rectifying my father's life, while utilizing Web3/NFTs as a healthy distraction and a way to make ends meet
I can't begin to describe how numb I felt toward life
And near the end of December, I received more bad news...
I can't begin to describe how numb I felt toward life
And near the end of December, I received more bad news...
During a recent checkup appt, the doctor regretfully informed me that my dad was being officially diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimers
It was a truth I had known for awhile but refused to believe
The man I once knew was gone. I was now caretaking a stranger in my own home
It was a truth I had known for awhile but refused to believe
The man I once knew was gone. I was now caretaking a stranger in my own home
Christmas came and went, a holiday I had always treasured
What was once my favorite time of year surrounded by my loved ones, morphed into a torturous reminder that those same loved were as good as gone
I could never see Christmas the same again
What was once my favorite time of year surrounded by my loved ones, morphed into a torturous reminder that those same loved were as good as gone
I could never see Christmas the same again
A note about me: I've always been extremely intrinsically motivated. And, all things considered, generally mentally strong
I had experienced awful things in my past before, always able to rebound
But this time was different. Nothing left, except for one last scrap of dignity
I had experienced awful things in my past before, always able to rebound
But this time was different. Nothing left, except for one last scrap of dignity
So on New Years of '21, I wrote a final farewell letter to -S- in an attempt to sever the agony and regain dignity on MY terms
The letter I wrote held no malice; it was an ode to our life together. I wished her the very best, because, even then, I desired only the best for her
The letter I wrote held no malice; it was an ode to our life together. I wished her the very best, because, even then, I desired only the best for her
I dropped off the letter along with a small farewell gift, and that was that
I didn't hear a word from her. It wasn't my expectation but I was hurt that there wasn't even an acknowledgment
I had said goodbye to my soul mate
But, that wasn't the end of our story. Not even close
I didn't hear a word from her. It wasn't my expectation but I was hurt that there wasn't even an acknowledgment
I had said goodbye to my soul mate
But, that wasn't the end of our story. Not even close
Dignity in repair, I battled on
It was a new year, and I decided to put the horrors of 2021 behind me and start anew
Little did I know that 2022 would be infinitely worse
If I thought I encountered darkness before, it paled in comparison to what the next year would bring...
It was a new year, and I decided to put the horrors of 2021 behind me and start anew
Little did I know that 2022 would be infinitely worse
If I thought I encountered darkness before, it paled in comparison to what the next year would bring...
That's all I can write for now; I'm emotionally drained just from putting these events into written-word for the first time
I'm also realizing just how impossible it is to tell the full story, for if I were to include all the ugly details, it would be far too long to read
I'm also realizing just how impossible it is to tell the full story, for if I were to include all the ugly details, it would be far too long to read
Thank you for providing a platform for me to open up, and lending a virtual ear when I'm needing it most
I thank God for the community of Web3. Without even knowing it, you have kept me going. God bless you all
I will post Part 2 soon
I thank God for the community of Web3. Without even knowing it, you have kept me going. God bless you all
I will post Part 2 soon
Attaching this for continuity:
