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Men are lost today.
It doesn't have to be that way.
If you're a Man, under 30, read this:
It doesn't have to be that way.
If you're a Man, under 30, read this:
Over the last six years, I've read 10+ books on Manhood,
And, I spent 2+ years in Men's work as a participant and facilitator.
Below, I'll share:
• How we got here
• What we're dealing with
• How we can improve our life
And, I spent 2+ years in Men's work as a participant and facilitator.
Below, I'll share:
• How we got here
• What we're dealing with
• How we can improve our life
• The Marlboro Man
Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers lived through the depression and fought in world wars.
They were Hard Men.
These men were stuck in the primal masculine, and their emotionally stunted lives led to:
• Violence
• Drug use
• Alcoholism
Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers lived through the depression and fought in world wars.
They were Hard Men.
These men were stuck in the primal masculine, and their emotionally stunted lives led to:
• Violence
• Drug use
• Alcoholism
• The Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG)
The fallout from the Marlboro Man led to the SNAG generation.
Men who felt the only way to make women feel safe was to diminish their masculinity.
All heart and no guts.
Dogs pretending to be cats.
It is the Marlboro Man overcorrected.
The fallout from the Marlboro Man led to the SNAG generation.
Men who felt the only way to make women feel safe was to diminish their masculinity.
All heart and no guts.
Dogs pretending to be cats.
It is the Marlboro Man overcorrected.
• The Distracted Man
Men today are distracted.
They have a full schedule but rarely go deep in anything.
They read multiple books but don't finish or act on them.
They will not commit to anything.
They are skittish, touchy, prickly, and resist being a teammate.
Men today are distracted.
They have a full schedule but rarely go deep in anything.
They read multiple books but don't finish or act on them.
They will not commit to anything.
They are skittish, touchy, prickly, and resist being a teammate.
• The Nice Guy
Men are Nice Guys:
• won't make his needs a priority
• lets their partner run the show
• lets people walk all over him
• hides flaws and mistakes
• flip flops their decisions
• is afraid of conflict
• represses feelings
• seeks approval
• is a giver
Men are Nice Guys:
• won't make his needs a priority
• lets their partner run the show
• lets people walk all over him
• hides flaws and mistakes
• flip flops their decisions
• is afraid of conflict
• represses feelings
• seeks approval
• is a giver
Let's kill the Nice Guy and Distracted Man:
• Listen
• Purpose
• Don't argue
• Do hard things
• Be a strong rock
• No covert contracts
• Build your circle of men
• Reclaim your masculinity
• Make your needs a priority
• Express but don't defend feelings
• Listen
• Purpose
• Don't argue
• Do hard things
• Be a strong rock
• No covert contracts
• Build your circle of men
• Reclaim your masculinity
• Make your needs a priority
• Express but don't defend feelings
• Purpose
A man without purpose is like a ship without a rudder.
He wanders aimlessly through life with no clear direction.
Find your purpose.
Live it.
A man without purpose is like a ship without a rudder.
He wanders aimlessly through life with no clear direction.
Find your purpose.
Live it.
• Listen
If you want to have a successful relationship, learn to listen.
Even when it sounds like it's about you, it is not about you.
Listen to the needs and wants of the person you are talking to.
Be in the moment.
If you want to have a successful relationship, learn to listen.
Even when it sounds like it's about you, it is not about you.
Listen to the needs and wants of the person you are talking to.
Be in the moment.
• Don't argue
When you lose, you lose, and when you win, you lose.
When in doubt, keep your mouth shut:
• Review past arguments and find patterns
• Abandon your need to be right
• For one week, don't argue
When you lose, you lose, and when you win, you lose.
When in doubt, keep your mouth shut:
• Review past arguments and find patterns
• Abandon your need to be right
• For one week, don't argue
• Do hard things
Nothing sets a man apart like doing hard things.
We must let go of distractions and the Nice Guy to accomplish the challenge.
When we complete a challenging task, we build our get shit done muscle.
We teach ourselves that we can do more, and we do it.
Nothing sets a man apart like doing hard things.
We must let go of distractions and the Nice Guy to accomplish the challenge.
When we complete a challenging task, we build our get shit done muscle.
We teach ourselves that we can do more, and we do it.
• Be a strong rock
Being a rock doesn't mean being stoic, expressionless, or silent.
It means being present and available.
You don't need to answer right away,
learn to be comfortable with uncertainty,
and have faith the solution will come if you stay out of the problem
Being a rock doesn't mean being stoic, expressionless, or silent.
It means being present and available.
You don't need to answer right away,
learn to be comfortable with uncertainty,
and have faith the solution will come if you stay out of the problem
• No covert contracts
Men behave a certain way expecting something from their partner.
The problem is they don't have a conversation with their partner.
This is a covert contract.
Avoid these.
Instead, ask for what you want when you want it.
Men behave a certain way expecting something from their partner.
The problem is they don't have a conversation with their partner.
This is a covert contract.
Avoid these.
Instead, ask for what you want when you want it.
• Have a circle of men
Men suffer in silence.
They have nobody to share their darkest challenges with.
It leads to depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and suicide.
Build a circle of men you can confide in on a regular basis.
Stop suffering in silence.
Men suffer in silence.
They have nobody to share their darkest challenges with.
It leads to depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and suicide.
Build a circle of men you can confide in on a regular basis.
Stop suffering in silence.
• Reclaim your masculinity
Work on your body.
Be dangerous but not a danger.
Build your strength and presence.
Set challenging goals and go after them. Go after them hard.
Learn to meditate and be in touch with the divine feminine while accessing the primal masculine.
Work on your body.
Be dangerous but not a danger.
Build your strength and presence.
Set challenging goals and go after them. Go after them hard.
Learn to meditate and be in touch with the divine feminine while accessing the primal masculine.
• Make your needs a priority
Stop playing second fiddle.
Draft a list of your commandments.
Know the hills you are willing to die on and won't drop for anything.
Communicate your commandments to those close to you and that you will cooperate without compromising.
Stop playing second fiddle.
Draft a list of your commandments.
Know the hills you are willing to die on and won't drop for anything.
Communicate your commandments to those close to you and that you will cooperate without compromising.
• Express but don't defend feelings
Stop burying your feelings.
Let others know how you feel.
Whatever you feel is okay and doesn't need to be defended.
If you're not sure what to say, buy yourself time:
• Let me think about it
• Let's talk about this tomorrow
Stop burying your feelings.
Let others know how you feel.
Whatever you feel is okay and doesn't need to be defended.
If you're not sure what to say, buy yourself time:
• Let me think about it
• Let's talk about this tomorrow
This thread does not capture everything it means to be a Man or improve your life, but it will get you started.
• Set goals
• Do hard things
• Access the divine feminine
• Rebuild your primal masculine
• Learn to express healthy feelings
• Understand your commandments
• Set goals
• Do hard things
• Access the divine feminine
• Rebuild your primal masculine
• Learn to express healthy feelings
• Understand your commandments
This thread is a Cheat Sheet on "Manhood in the 21st Century" to help you be the best man you can be.
If you got value out of this thread:
1. Follow me @IAmClintMurphy for more of these
2. RT the tweet below to share with your friends
If you got value out of this thread:
1. Follow me @IAmClintMurphy for more of these
2. RT the tweet below to share with your friends
That's a wrap.
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It doesn't have to be.
Signup for the Growth Guide Newsletter and join 6,000+ other readers.
You'll receive my Free Guides to Help you:
• Build your Brand
• Become a Millionaire
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Mentions
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Alex Brogan @_alexbrogan
·
Apr 3, 2023
Great thread!