We’re three days into the wedding of the century, with two more still to go, as Jeff Bezos finally makes fiancé Lauren Sánchez his wife, queen, lady of his kingdom, in a quaint little unknown fishing village called “Venice, Italy,” where locals are absolutely furious. Or this is what I’m reading in the press. In embracing the wedding, which has driven something like $50-60M dollars into the city, politicians have “betrayed” their constituents, who yearn for a return to their quiet, more authentic way of life. And… what? We’re talking about the same Venice, right? Literally famously built, shaped, and defined by merchants? Well, their king has just arrived, and you’re welcome for the tax revenue without which your entire LARPy “European lifestyle” would cease to exist. Our technology brothers aren’t perfect. But one thing they did not invent is the concept of a gaudy overpriced Italian wedding in the birthplace of the concept.

Last weekend, Tesla launched a beta version of its long-promised robotaxi service in Austin. Despite each car having a human chaperone in the front passenger seat, clips of the cars speeding, braking in the middle of the road, and driving in the wrong lane have already made their way onto the timeline. But while the traffic violations (and human babysitters) seem to indicate Waymo is leading Tesla, Elon is optimizing for the long-term. In fact, Waymo itself just published new research demonstrating, in the words of Anthropic’s Head of Compute, “Waymo was wrong, Tesla was right” concerning how to scale and improve self-driving models — namely, the more data and compute, the better. Tesla’s GPU cluster is ten times larger than Waymo’s, and the company already has millions of vehicles on the road collecting data. Unfortunately for Google, Elon understands an inconvenient truth about the world: it’s not just how you use it, size matters!

At this week’s NATO Summit, almost all members backed an increase in defense spending to 5% of their respective GDPs — a major victory for President Trump, who has long derided the Europoors for failing to contribute their fair share to defense. Elsewhere at the Summit, NATO Secretary-General Mark Rutte even channeled his inner 50 Shades of Grey, saying of Trump’s recent F-bomb-laden scolding of Israel and Iran: “Daddy has to sometimes use strong language” (uwu senpai, the Middle East has been so naughty). It’s a stark contrast to “Daddy’s” first term, when his daring suggestion that Europe be invested in the defense of Europe was met with media condemnation and the fiery girlboss wrath of Angela Merkel. Now, with Russia knocking on their door and Trump f-bombing his way into ceasefires, our allies overseas finally seem resigned to playing ball. Which is great… but do you guys have to be so kinky about it?