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Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity

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A gripping, fearless exploration of masculinity

 The effects of traditionally defined masculinity have become one of the most prevalent social issues of our time. In this engaging and provocative new book, beloved actor, director, and social activist Justin Baldoni reflects on his own struggles with masculinity. With insight and honesty, he explores a range of difficult, sometimes uncomfortable topics including strength and vulnerability, relationships and marriage, body image, sex and sexuality, racial justice, gender equality, and fatherhood.

Writing from experience, Baldoni invites us to move beyond the scripts we’ve learned since childhood and the roles we are expected to play. He challenges men to be brave enough to be vulnerable, to be strong enough to be sensitive, to be confident enough to listen. Encouraging men to dig deep within themselves, Baldoni helps us reimagine what it means to be man enough and in the process, what it means to be human.

368 pages, ebook

First published April 27, 2021

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About the author

Justin Baldoni

3 books263 followers
Justin Baldoni is a devoted husband, father of two, and Bahá’í. He is an actor, director, producer, and the co-founder and co-chair of both Wayfarer Studios and the Wayfarer Foundation. Over the last ten years, Justin has been on a journey to explore masculinity and reimagine what it means to be a man—what it means to be a human—in the world today. He has spoken about his journey with masculinity in his wildly popular TED talk, and his digital series “Man Enough”, as well as on college campuses across America.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 483 reviews
Profile Image for Jessica.
329 reviews523 followers
April 27, 2021
Man Enough: Undefining my Maculinity by Justin Baldoni is an honest and real look into masculinity for men and society. Man Enough is geared towards men but I recommend to anyone. Justin opened my eyes to thins I’ve never thought about. Feminism is talked about all the time, but I never hear about masculinity. Many difficult topics are discussed. Justin provides real life examples from his life and his friends’ lives. Man Enough is real, raw and honest. Many difficult topics are discussed. Justin talks about his flaws and what he struggles with. The ending message that he still has a lot to work to do really resonated with me and showed his humility. I enjoyed reading a book by a real person that is still struggling to be better. I recommend Man Enough to anyone that is interested in learning about masculinity and how it affects men.

I listened to the audiobook and loved Justin’s narration. This book was even more personal hearing Justin’s voice. There is even a part where his kids sing a song. I always love when authors narrate their books especially when the book is personal like Man Enough.

Thank you Harper Audio and Harper One for Man Enough.

Full Review: https://justreadingjess.wordpress.com...
Profile Image for heba.
288 reviews109 followers
Want to read
February 12, 2021
I was scrolling through TikTok (I know, so gen z of me) when I came across a video of Justin Balson's wife unwrapping a copy of this book while he's tearing up and hugging their son. At that moment, I literally froze. My eyes watered, and I felt so many feelings. I don't know why, honestly. Maybe because one of my favorite film-makers wrote a book! Or maybe because he was tearing up, and due to that vulnerability, I started to as well. Maybe because he was so caring and loving toward his son, which made me more aware of the lack of fatherly presence in my life. I don't know, man. All I know is that I'm excited to read and learn from this book, although I most likely will be very, very biased.
Profile Image for Rachel  L.
1,940 reviews2,399 followers
June 26, 2021
4 stars!

I really wish men in general would read this book


So right up front I will admit, I am a fan of Jane the Virgin (of which the author Baldoni is most famous for). But what really put him on my radar is that he’s turning one of my favorite Coho books into a movie and I wanted to learn more about the man making it. That and the topic of masculinity is fascinating to me, so of course I wanted to read this book.

There’s a lot in this book that is really great and that I agree with. It’s refreshing to hear a straight white man admitting that he and men in general need to do better and how this is a forever process. I listened to the audiobook version of this book and really enjoyed hearing Baldoni read this to us, it added more of a personal touch. I am not a faith based person, so I wasn’t as interested when that was discussed in the book, but I respect that the author’s faith is something very important to him and how it factors into his life and decisions.

If you want to read a discussion about men and masculinity, this book is for you. I think even if you aren’t interested or are rooted in your own ideas, maybe read this book anyway and try to keep an open mind. I think the world would be a better place if more people examined themselves the way Baldoni has and is.
Profile Image for Lindsey  Domokur.
1,469 reviews120 followers
April 30, 2021
I'm going to be honest. I don't know Justin Baldoni from his acting career. I have never watched Jane the Virgin. I know Justin Baldoni through all the good he is trying to do in the world and I think that makes this book even better for me. This is a book that I needed in my life. As the mom of two boys, this book is important so that I can understand a little of what they are going through. I have also been talking to my husband about this story at length and he will be reading it as well.
Baldoni puts into words how it feels to grow up being a boy and how they are pushed to be man enough, or just enough. Growing up and going through teenage girl angst you really don't think about the boys going through the same thing. I never really I about a boy dealing with the same body issues, the same mental struggles, because it just isn't talked about. Boys are often told if they are crying or expressing feelings they are acting like a girl, but having human emotions is actually just normal. Why are boys taught that it isn't ok to cry? These boys are called dergatory names for being human and having emotions. Why are we teaching our boys that this is how it should be?
This book explores all of the ways Baldoni didn't feel like he was "enough". Truthfully, we have all had these feelings of inadequacy, but it is refreshing to hear that someone like him, an actor, a celebrity, has felt these same feelings and how he is exploring them instead of letting them control him.
There are so many things Baldoni says in this book that resonate with me, so many things I have heard people say to the men and boys that surround me and this opened my eyes to the fact that one comment could change the way a child feels about themselves forever. We need to be cognizant, we need to do better. I need to do better as I parent my young boys. This is a book I will come back to just to remind myself that my boys are strong enough, man enough, the way they are. We don't need to put boys down to build them up, to make them stronger, because inside it is just breaking their spirits.
I cannot wait for my husband to read this book because I know that some of these things have been said to him growing up, he thinks showing emotion is weak. I know first hand what supressing emotion can do to a person and I want him to know that he is enough and letting me see everything is so strong. There is strength in vulnerability. Thank you so much for sharing your story Justin.
Thank you to Justin Baldoni, Netgalley and HarperOne for an early copy of this book.
Profile Image for Ezi Chinny.
2,608 reviews517 followers
June 21, 2021
I wish men had bookclubs in the same way that we do and could read this book and be vulnerable with each other. It felt like a talk Justin Baldoni was having with his best friend, but I was allowed to listen in to their discourse.

It must be so freeing yet terrifying to admit to imperfections and insecurities to other people. What a revelation. I truly didn't think that men struggled with body issues on the same level as women. I also thought that men worried more about career choices and how they ranked with fellow men more than the emotional aspects of being accepted their peers.

I applaud Justin Baldoni for his candor, examples and honesty. It was eye opening, endearing and informative. Some of the societal messaging our young men received and continue to receive are so damaging to them and we wonder why toxic masculinity is the norm. I am glad I read this book and will try to get my sons to listen to it.
Profile Image for Lexxie.
198 reviews
June 11, 2021
I would have given this book a 3.5 if it were an option, but I don’t think it’s up to my standard for a four. This is a really helpful, important book with a lot of excellent insights and points about the emotional journey of masculinity and how Justin has been able to work through the challenges of it. As a person married to a man, it helped cultivate some more compassion and empathy for my husband and broadened my own awareness my biases against men. I do suggest other women read this book.

With that said, I really felt that this book needs a heavy-handed editor. I think it could be cut down by about 30% - the writing is super long winded. There are gems to be discovered but at many points I felt like an excavator searching for the point.
Profile Image for Leo.
4,520 reviews482 followers
December 1, 2021
I haven't seen anything Justin Baldoni have acted in but I was very interested in listening to this audiobook as I find the topic very interesting and important. Very well done audiobook was easy getting invested in and very teachable and interesting
Profile Image for Aurélien Thomas.
Author 10 books113 followers
July 21, 2021
I didn’t know Justin Baldoni prior to reading this book. In fact, I came to read this as part of my interest on how men of my generation are coming to question so-called ‘toxic masculinity’ (or the traditional view of ‘manhood’), a masculinity which has been harmful not only to us, men, but, also, to people interacting with us -women being the first casualties, despite, in many ways, feeding such toxicity themselves. I have to say, though, that if I can’t care less about his acting career (apparently, he is a beau who featured on romcom drama where he appears all shirtless with ripped six-pack…) this was one of the best book I came across about modern manhood. Where do I start?

Well, first (and surprisingly maybe) he actually rejects the term ‘toxic masculinity’. To him this is just a demonising of traits which we normally associate which masculinity, but which are not the prerogatives of men only, let alone bad. It may be surprising… Unless you get his view on gender. For him indeed, there’s no innate differences between men and women. We’re all just playing a script handed down to us through socialisation, and it’s about high time we reject it for how narrow and self-destructive such narratives are. I can’t agree more! I’m a great believer in the idea that there’s no neurological differences between males and females (or whatever gender you identify with), but that we’re all conditioned to behave the way we do through socialisation only. It doesn’t mean, though, that there’s nothing wrong with such socialisation; and this is precisely where his take is becoming smart, sensible, and on point.

Then indeed, he encourages men to reject the view that manhood should be about blunting our emotions, denying our feelings, and basically confusing stoicism with lack of empathy in the name of toughness -a twisted way of defining 'strength', but which still is dangerously prevalent. What Justin Baldoni voices, in fact, is that being open about our vulnerability, and embracing empathy, is not about emasculating ourselves! On the contrary, it’s about becoming emotionally intelligent, and, so, stronger, if not better, as individuals. It may sounds corny, but the many issues affecting men and that he outlines here out of personal experiences just help nailing his point.

Being based on personal experience, of course, it’s, well, personal. As I said, he became famous for being a model male actor with a gorgeous look and a fit body that had women going ‘whoo whoo’; and it’s something he questions here. Indeed: was that a good thing? Taking his own lesson on board he dares being open, and, so, he exposes how insecure he is about his body. The whole pages dedicated to how we objectify the male body (something we’ve been doing for decades to women!) are enlightening, since, in our debates on sexual objectification we always think about female models and their followers making themselves sick to fit a beauty ideal, yet we tend to forget that this is what we (read: women too) have recently been doing to men as well, and through exactly the same medias and for the same reasons. This will be an eye opener for many, not least for women.

It’s personal on many aspects, but it doesn’t mean it won’t resonate with many. Besides insecurities and body image, he also tackles porn in honest and brilliant chapters which will put many men in from of their skeletons in their cupboards. This particularly resonated with me, since I firmly believe that men are no more sexually interested or sexually active than women are. I think indeed that the pressure is just greater on them (that bloody toxic masculinity and socialisation again!) whereas women are made to be ashamed of their own libido. It’s a double-edge sword: women’ sexuality has been stifled, while men’s have been pushed to unhealthy extreme that porn just reflects. Men’s relationships with porn could take a whole book (show me a man who never watched a blue movie and I’ll show you a liar, as they say...) yet you’ll be wrong to assume this has no damaging impact upon men’s self-image, self-worth, and mental health. Again, women themselves ought to read this for how brutally honest, yet sensitive in his handling of the issue, Justin Baldoni is. I, for one, salute here his honesty and courage!

Being open, he also confronts many a stereotype and prejudice he embodied at some point. I struggled to find the relevance of ‘white privilege’ when it comes to gender, but there’s no denying he outlines here a necessary time of reckoning for us all (or, at least, for white males like he and myself are).

On the negative side, being vulnerable can feel unsettling too. Now, I don’t know how women read this (judging by the other reviews on this website, it’s pretty clear that they didn’t have the issue I encountered…) but, to me, it felt cheesy and uncomfortable at times. Is it here my own ‘toxic’ masculinity talking? Is it me, as a male reader, being uncomfortable with another guy expressing (gasp!) feelings? I don’t know, but I found there was a lot of cheesy passages, especially when he talks (in length) about the love he has for his wife. It’s not a bad thing, but I just cringed (I know, I know, coming from me who authored a whole collection of love poems dedicated to my wife -A Vow - A Collection of Love Poems- this might sounds blatantly hypocrite! But there goes…).

All in all, then, this is a brilliant book about modern manhood and what it means (or not) to be a man. His honesty is praiseworthy. His sensitivity laudable. His knowledge of the topics he is dealing with is clear (I love it when people tells their own life experience by linking it, as it does, to broader academic works putting things in context and perspective!), and his comfort in bringing up topics men are usually encouraged to bottle up and hide will take many aback. Here’s a more than needed attitude -for men, and for all interacting with them, women, obviously, first and foremost. As I said, here’s probably one of the best book I came across so far on modern manhood!
Profile Image for Leanne Whistance-Smith.
131 reviews106 followers
June 18, 2021
Eye-opening, heartfelt & very well written.

Before reading this book, I’ve never really given masculinity much thought. I always just assumed it was only the women who dealt with emotional issues, bad body image, lack of self-worth, etc. But BOY… was I wrong.

Justin explores topics of strength, body image, sexuality, self-worth & intimacy through such a powerful lens - including sharing his own personal experiences, scientific research & experts opinions.

This was an important read for me to understand what men have and still go through today. It’s ingrained in our society to offer messages to boys to be “man enough”, “strong” and “successful”, however, we are ignoring their emotional, sensitive and more “feminine” side and this is ultimately setting them up for so many battles ahead.

I’ve taken away so many valuable lessons from
this book, and so many points Justin made really resonated with me. He’s definitely inspired me to turn inward and work on myself, and I know that we as a society need to do better.

There is strength in vulnerability, and we are all enough, just as we are!
Profile Image for Bree Lauren.
672 reviews2,189 followers
July 15, 2021

♡ Nonfiction
♡ A discussion about masculinity

I love Justin Baldoni. He's one of my favorite people. I loved his Ted Talk about Masculinity, I love his podcast, I loved his "My Last Days" series where he interviewed different people with terminal illnesses, I loved that he made a whole movie based on one of the people he interviewed for that series that shed light on an illness (CF) that so few people know much about, I love that he uses his platform for good.

And I loved this book. Even though it was not written for me.

This book is written for men and I wish I could put it in the hands of every man I know and make them read it. For now, though, I'll settle on having my husband read it and having really great, in-depth discussions with him because of it. Even though I am not the intended audience, I still found great value in reading this. I feel like it has made me more understanding and had me looking at things about myself a little differently.

Profile Image for Rebecca Ohler.
34 reviews
September 24, 2021
I skimmed through and skipped large sections of this book. It was okay I guess? I really like Baldoni’s take home message about redefining masculinity, and I am glad he wrote this book for men. As a woman I had a hard time reading it. Partly because the writing style just seemed like it took him a long time to say things and partly because it just sounds a little underwhelming. The author acknowledges this early in the book and it was certainly true for me that what to him seemed like a revelation to me seemed like “duh”. I know it is not his intent but this book still feels a little like a man taking up a huge amount of space to process what all men should already know that women have been saying for a hundred years or more. I hope other men or women who still believe in the patriarchy will read it and get something great out of it, but this book was not for me.
Profile Image for Roman Nowak.
48 reviews4 followers
May 5, 2021
"Show me your heart.
Show me your heart.
I'll show you, you are my heart.
When the world seems dark, you are
the light.
When times get hard, just smile inside.
Because you.
You are my heart."
-Justin Baldoni

Man Enough is that necessary read. It is a blanket of words that envelops your heart and soul and helps you navigate everything you have been taught in life. For all those people who never knew if they fit in or if they felt different because they did not fit the mold or the expectations: this is that collection of words, reflections, and growth that you need. As a man who does not do well in fitting in traditional expectations of masculinity, this book helps us be seen. A courageous and vulnerable book that helps all men and people navigate their inner thoughts and questions on worth. I love the authenticity, the personal journey, and the raw emotional power of sharing a journey through life. While reading this, I felt Justin sitting beside me, like that friend who listened, who offered encouragement, and who refrained from judgment. Just like a best friend, he helps make us feel whole and enough. One day, I need to grab a coffee and just talk with him. A definite must-read! A definite gift for others.
Profile Image for Raul.
466 reviews14 followers
May 12, 2021
This spoke to me on so many different levels. Such an important book.
Profile Image for Regan Owen.
95 reviews
June 14, 2021
I appreciate what Baldoni is doing with his viral TED Talk and his series Man Enough, but this book was just about 2-3 steps behind where I feel like I am in this journey. Most of his experiences and discussions barely scratched the surface in my opinion. Perhaps this would be helpful for others who are just beginning to tear down traditional (toxic) masculinity, but this won’t get them very far.
Profile Image for maura delaney.
427 reviews77 followers
January 16, 2023
i am so happy this book exists. i think so many people could really use the messages from this book. i didnt really realize how much i needed this. it was so reflective and self aware and handled so many topics that are not talked enough about with grace.
Profile Image for Katy.
6 reviews
February 23, 2021
As the eldest of three daughters, I never really gave masculinity much thought until I had my son (yes, even despite being a Clinical Psychologist). It breaks my heart that my curious, thoughtful, and sweet son will face so many of the same challenges Baldoni examines in Man Enough. He bravely explores the topics of body image, sexuality, strength, and vulnerability through the lens of powerful, yet private, moments in his life.

Baldoni’s balance of personal experiences with research and expert opinions read like a vulnerable, yet challenging therapy session. He offers no solutions, but sheds light on the undercurrent of masculinity in our culture and challenges us to explore our own contributions to the rising tide.

Also infused with humor and profanity, Man Enough will be an accessible resource for my clients struggling to find their place in a world that tells them who to be. I’m looking forward to stocking my office shelves with copies when it’s released in April.
Profile Image for Alfred.
69 reviews7 followers
August 1, 2021
I really liked this. I felt like (as a man who has been involved in men’s circles, and has tried to speak on this kind of discourse with my own friends for the past few years) it was able to articulate really clearly the ‘scripts’ (as he says) we are given as men growing up - the games we play with other guys to feel better than etc…and an alternative path we can take that is based on awareness, love, and acceptance. Beautiful!

It’s left me questioning and exploring the ways that actions I take (eg. Trying to be really helpful) can often for me come from a place of insecurity and not abundance - of not feeling good enough or helpful enough (man enough). Also left me exploring ways that I THINK I need to show love to the women in my life and ways I can be better…

All that said - the last chapter was what really sold it to me and made me really like this guy, as often books like this can become pretty indulgent. He acknowledged how much he is on a journey, and how the journey is one of ‘remembering’ who we already are, who we always have been.

He didn’t try to sell that he has the answer, but just tried to shed light on what he is learning. It’s imperfect, it’s contradictory at times, it’s messy - but, it’s got heart, and for me that is what the book role models more than anything!! Explore! Lead with your heart - use all those things that men are told (and holy moley, tell !!!themselves!!!) they NEED to be (strong & brave) and be vulnerable & open.

Ps him role modelling being brave in trying to be more open with his dad is really really inspiring
Profile Image for Anna Francesca.
891 reviews56 followers
October 21, 2021
I think that everyone should read this book, no matter your gender, age or beliefs, there’s something to be learnt and embraced.

As a woman, I have had interesting relationships with men. The most profound relationship I will possibly ever have was with my father. As a wife, I now find at times that our shared experiences and our differences can sometimes be worlds apart. I came to this book hoping I’d learn about the experiences men have. Hard to explain but it can sometimes feel that gender norms can distance our struggles, for equality I truly believe everyone has to dig deeper.

Okay, uncomfortable waffling portion is done! 😅 What works about this book is that Justin doesn’t hold back on experiences - whether it’s talking over his wife and women, taking up more space or not understanding injustices that happen whether it be racially or sexually. He really shares all the times he continues to make mistakes and missteps. Often with books of this nature, you come away wondering if the author truly subscribes to the pretty instagram filter they’ve put on their values. You leave it feeling less than, not here. He doesn’t pretend to have the answers, just shares his experiences and the times he failed. He truly gets into some taboo subjects and at times in the audiobook, you can hear the emotion. To the point where you’re actually interested in the acknowledgments which doesn’t always happen. He speaks of familial relationships, friendships and his connection with his wife. The challenges of working on a marriage and raising children. There’s something about Justin that reminds you to keep showing up for yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves. I remember watching Jane the Virgin and thinking this guy probably has it all. Has what exactly? I couldn’t have told you. If someone had told me just how self conscious he felt before each topless scene or how he’d try to cover parts of himself that he felt uncomfortable with, I doubt I’d have believed you. He speaks about the ladder and how it’s the wrong way round and I have to agree. Society puts a big amount of pressure on all of us to keep pushing and to want things like fame and fortune. Everything perfect and polished, we feed into this everyday. Hearing Justin really dig deep and address all these moments really made me feel seen and understood.

Unlike self help where you then try to implement ideas or routine that don’t fit most peoples lives, this was a journey of slowly relieving the pressure off my shoulders. It actually had a physical impact, I’ve been dealing with a super cold and have not once taken a nap during that time. My body took its rest and I woke up surprised and restful. The mind is always busy in my life, the restless feeling Justin explains, I know it everyday. This book clearly had an impact.

Can I just take a moment to thank Justin for all the times he mentions disability. As a disabled woman I’ve come to realise that a lot of the time, housebound disabled people are forgotten. As much as I’d like to live in a world where thanks isn’t needed because we aren’t forgotten, I know that’s not the case so … thank you Justin.

So there’s a few of my thoughts. I will end this review by saying that at the start of this, I had no rating. Rating books of this nature can sometimes feel uncomfortable, as though I’m rating someone’s life. But as I began writing this review and realising just how many thoughts I had and just how much my heart needed this I decided to rate this book. If you are reading this then I say pick this book up. I’m hoping I can get people in my life to read this.
Profile Image for Brian Townsend.
Author 1 book27 followers
June 4, 2021
This is arguably one of the most eye opening books I've ever read. There were too many parts where I felt like the author was speaking to me and my life directly. It wasn't preachy and the author did a fantastic job admitting over and over that he himself didn't always follow his own words. He also manages to talk about masculinity and it's intersection with race in an open and honest way. I can not stress enough how much I recommend this book to men, partners of men, parents of men, etc. It was amazing
January 12, 2023
I didn't actually finish it. I really wanted to finish it and I really wanted to like it because I think Justin Baldoni is a good guy, but I'm finding it painful to read. It feels like it's his diary and he's doing a good job at self exploration and growth, but it probably didn't need to be a book for other people to read. Especially not a long one
Profile Image for Kelly Nuño.
172 reviews3 followers
October 7, 2022
I absolutely love when celebrities are brave enough to be raw, emotional and open in their books. Justin’s book was the most wonderful and insightful thing to listen to. This is one of those books I wish everyone would read/listen to atleast once in their life. In his book Justin describes the concept of masculinity and his beliefs about how important it is to undefine traditional roles and traits of masculinity. I don’t have the words to describe all the other wonderful things in this book, but if you are thinking about picking up an audiobook, I highly highly recommend this one. My closing sentence is I <3 Justin Baldoni.
Profile Image for Alexandria Mansfield.
81 reviews29 followers
October 26, 2021
Pretty solid 3 stars. It was better at the beginning and lost itself toward the end, especially when getting preachy and shaming about porn/sex work. This book is by a white man for white men, and it shows. I understand wanting to have a bridge or safe space for men to explore the horrifying concept of feminism, but this feels almost like a cop out to not have to do real work for many men. Overall, interesting stories told, but could’ve been shorter or written by someone with more of a degree of expertise in this area.
Profile Image for Matt Jackson.
37 reviews1 follower
March 27, 2022
Makes some valid points but theres also 300 pages of sentences that add no value with words that mean nothing. The book could be summarised in 50 pages.

Not recommendable, especially for those that are fed up with the 'woke brigade'.
Profile Image for Simant Verma.
289 reviews93 followers
June 21, 2021
As Justin Baldoni acknowledges in the book himself, funnily enough, I read Man Enough because I only knew him from the show Jane the Virgin 😬 But what I didn't know about him was that he is also a TED speaker and social activist. And what I thought to be a memoir, is so much more and how rightly so.

Man Enough is geared towards men but I would totally recommend it to everyone. It's a real look into what it means to be a man, to be enough in every aspect. When do we draw a line that we are enough as we are? Masculinity is something that is hardly discussed and with a real and honest approach, by deriving examples from his own life, Baldoni discusses various aspects of manhood and the adverse effects of the societal pressures and expectations put on men since generations. He talks about his own flaws and how he overcame those or is still struggling with. He agrees that he is still 'a work in progress' and he has a lot to unlearn and learn in his journey to become a better human, not just a better man.

I think this book was something that I needed; if not at this time, then surely in the coming future. I am raising a son and thus would like to understand the possibility of everything that could go wrong with him. Baldoni puts into words how little boys are forced to be 'man enough', how they are told they can't cry, can't do ‘girly’ things, simply because they will be called a girl or a gay. You often hear girls talking about body issues, but what about boys, their locker-room trauma about body-shaming? Manhood is often measured by the size of their p*nises!

Baldoni argues that masculinity is always more about showing yourself strong 'in front of other men' than it is in front of women! And rightly so, I couldn't stop myself from shaking my head in 'YES' to this, and to so many other such instances in the book.

Baldoni talks about the porn trauma, all the closed up feelings and emotions that men aren’t able to portray for the fear of being seen as weak, and what it is to be strong enough, bold enough, brave enough, sexy enough, loving enough. This book isn't about tearing down the notion of masculinity, but rather it's about giving boys and young men that "okay", they want to hear, and support to truly be who they are at their core. This book aspires to lift them and give them courage, to move out of the screwed narratives that have been forced upon men for generations, and truly believe that they are enough just as they are. That we are all enough!

"Be afraid. Be fearful. Honour those feelings when they come up. But don’t dwell up on them or let them consume you. Because it is one thing to feel fear and it’s another thing to let it win."

I listened to the audiobook and Baldoni’s narration was amazing and made it more fun and even more personal. And there was even a part which he said is audiobook exclusive! So certainly check this amazing audiobook and I am sure you would agree with almost everything that Baldoni said.

Profile Image for Emily P.
10 reviews3 followers
June 23, 2022
I wish there were more open conversations on these topics like this! Justin reflects on how our idea of masculinity influences how we think, work, find value and worth and interact with our loved ones, and suggests healthier perceptions. Although it’s more based on personal experience and not as deep or research-based than I expected, Justin’s brutal honesty and humility makes it a great read. He really does the inner self work and the reading the book can feel like therapy - heavy and triggering emotions at times, shedding light and healing at others. Minus one star for his writing style, it’s so casual that it almost reads Iike a super long Instagram caption, I found the audiobook a bit better.
Profile Image for Emily.
81 reviews
November 24, 2023
I loved this book especially as a mom to sons. I want to work so hard to instill in my boys how much they matter despite the strange status of men in our world. I loved hearing Justin’s vulnerability, faith and desire to teach men to talk about their feelings.
Profile Image for Sterling Hardaway.
136 reviews16 followers
May 25, 2021

This was one of those perspective-changing books for me, which with a Leo Sun and Taurus Moon, can be hard to do!

Baldoni, an actor and filmmaker known as Rafael on Jane The Virgin uses his personal stories with a pinch of research to talk about masculinity across themes of friendship , sexuality, career, and body image, faith and the ways in which we impact self-worth of boys and men.

If you’re looking for a self-help book on “how to become a better man”, this is not it but it does give a thoughtful lens on topics we don’t often talk about as men, or in society in general. There are moments of this book that truly feel emotionally raw (which are very apparent in the audiobook as you can hear him crying at points) and it’s amazing how cogent it feels at the same time. Listening to this book on runs and walks and evening wind downs gave me a chance to reflect on my own struggles with what being “man enough” really means.

I truly, truly, truly, recommend all the men in my life to read this book, because hopefully it will be a cathartic experience for you as it was for me.
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164 reviews9 followers
February 28, 2023
I would recommend every adult read / listen to this. It was incredibly insightful even as a woman- a woman who appreciates that men exist in this world bc I love a man but simultaneously hates men and insist on blaming everything wrong in the world on them lol. I learned a lot about the struggles of being a man and the mental battles that they’re given from a young age that I had never considered before. I loved hearing about Justin’s personal experiences and struggles and what he had learned from them and how they might compare to my experiences with men or how those same things might affect the men in my life.
Truly I am giving this 4 stars bc I feel like the first 50% dragged a little too much and I feel as thought it was VERY repetitive. The second half though was perfectly paced and I was able to take in a lot more understanding from the second half without feeling as though it was repetitive. All in all it’s a beautifully written book and I would recommend it over and over
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