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The Tools: Transform Your Problems into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity
5 unique Tools ... 3 seconds each to use ... A lifetime of fulfilment
Can you imagine what your life would be like if you could tap into a new source of power – one that has been inside you all along – to solve your own problems and become the master of your life?
The Tools is an extraordinary psychological model based on the proven methods of Hollywood's greatest psychotherapists. Phil Stutz and Barry Michels have over 60 years of psychotherapeutic experience between them. Together they have helped their A-list clients work through whatever has held them back – be it insecurity, trauma, anger, lack of willpower, negativity or avoidance – to achieve their greatest work and find a deep level of fulfilment.
Now, at last, the acclaimed clinicians are sharing their methods in this eye-opening and empowering book. Introducing their five simple techniques, namely The Reversal of Desire, Active Love, Inner Authority, The Grateful Flow and Jeopardy, the authors clearly explain what they are plus how and when to use them. Astonishingly effective and beautifully simple – once you've learned a tool it takes only three to five seconds to use it – this book will give you everything you need to propel yourself forward to achieve your ambitions and be who you were born to be.
Can you imagine what your life would be like if you could tap into a new source of power – one that has been inside you all along – to solve your own problems and become the master of your life?
The Tools is an extraordinary psychological model based on the proven methods of Hollywood's greatest psychotherapists. Phil Stutz and Barry Michels have over 60 years of psychotherapeutic experience between them. Together they have helped their A-list clients work through whatever has held them back – be it insecurity, trauma, anger, lack of willpower, negativity or avoidance – to achieve their greatest work and find a deep level of fulfilment.
Now, at last, the acclaimed clinicians are sharing their methods in this eye-opening and empowering book. Introducing their five simple techniques, namely The Reversal of Desire, Active Love, Inner Authority, The Grateful Flow and Jeopardy, the authors clearly explain what they are plus how and when to use them. Astonishingly effective and beautifully simple – once you've learned a tool it takes only three to five seconds to use it – this book will give you everything you need to propel yourself forward to achieve your ambitions and be who you were born to be.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published September 6, 2012
About the author
Phil Stutz
16 books270 followersPhil Stutz graduated from City College in New York and received his MD from New York University. He worked as a prison psychiatrist on Rikers Island and then in private practice in New York before moving his practice to Los Angeles in 1982.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 728 reviews
September 30, 2017
Guilty (but delicious) pleasure. I have to admit I loved it. I'm a huge Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) fan. And much of the ideas in the book were very inline with the ACT model. But (importantly) delivered in a much more user friendly (quasi new age) package. I'm a stalwart atheist/materialist. Not because I am certain about such things (how can anyone be certain about such things). But because it's the world view that seems to be the least far-fetched and most effective for me.
That being said, I understand that the majority of people in the world have a very different point of view. As a therapist I'm willing to meet anybody where they are at. If sprinkling in a little new age sparkle helps the medicine go down, and helps the client find empowerment and make healthy life changes, then by all means, let's bust out the healing flavor crystals.
I have been using (modified versions of) the tools from the book in my therapy practice and in my personal life. I think they're wonderful and I plan on continuing to use and practice these neat little life hacks. I love shit that works and I'd rather be effective than "right". If I have to swallow a little sugar to get the dope, than OK.
All that aside, I cannot bring myself to strongly endorse a book that is as philosophically and methodologically problematic as this one. First and foremost, the authors establish the legitimacy of their method by stating that they have tried The Tools in their practice and it works. This is a huge red flag for anyone trained in the social sciences. This particular problem (relying on the clinicians judgment to gauge the effectiveness of the treatment) plagued psychotherapy for its first century.
In the days of Freudian analysis, psychoanalysts did surveys of the effectiveness of psychoanalysis. The measure of whether or not the patient got better was whether or not the psychoanalyst said the patient was better, even if the psychoanalysts opinion strongly conflicted with that of the patient. The obvious problem is that if you rely on the clinician's judgment, the clinician may be strongly motivated to report positive results (for reason$ that $hould be obviou$).
Not to be a total bummer, but the scientific method is pretty much the only way to get the truth of whether or not an intervention works or doesn't. Without randomized double-blind placebo-controlled trials, it's really hard to know whether or not an intervention is effective, or exactly why it is or isn't effective.
So I'm feeling a lot of cognitive dissonance about my favorable review of this wonderful and problematic and wonderful book. But the good news is, there's even a tool for dealing with cognitive dissonance. BRING ON THE PAIN! (You'll have to read the book to know what that means).
.
That being said, I understand that the majority of people in the world have a very different point of view. As a therapist I'm willing to meet anybody where they are at. If sprinkling in a little new age sparkle helps the medicine go down, and helps the client find empowerment and make healthy life changes, then by all means, let's bust out the healing flavor crystals.
I have been using (modified versions of) the tools from the book in my therapy practice and in my personal life. I think they're wonderful and I plan on continuing to use and practice these neat little life hacks. I love shit that works and I'd rather be effective than "right". If I have to swallow a little sugar to get the dope, than OK.
All that aside, I cannot bring myself to strongly endorse a book that is as philosophically and methodologically problematic as this one. First and foremost, the authors establish the legitimacy of their method by stating that they have tried The Tools in their practice and it works. This is a huge red flag for anyone trained in the social sciences. This particular problem (relying on the clinicians judgment to gauge the effectiveness of the treatment) plagued psychotherapy for its first century.
In the days of Freudian analysis, psychoanalysts did surveys of the effectiveness of psychoanalysis. The measure of whether or not the patient got better was whether or not the psychoanalyst said the patient was better, even if the psychoanalysts opinion strongly conflicted with that of the patient. The obvious problem is that if you rely on the clinician's judgment, the clinician may be strongly motivated to report positive results (for reason$ that $hould be obviou$).
Not to be a total bummer, but the scientific method is pretty much the only way to get the truth of whether or not an intervention works or doesn't. Without randomized double-blind placebo-controlled trials, it's really hard to know whether or not an intervention is effective, or exactly why it is or isn't effective.
So I'm feeling a lot of cognitive dissonance about my favorable review of this wonderful and problematic and wonderful book. But the good news is, there's even a tool for dealing with cognitive dissonance. BRING ON THE PAIN! (You'll have to read the book to know what that means).
.
October 15, 2012
Let me break down the analysis of this book into 3 parts.
Part 1 – What is this book about.
Part 2 - Outline of the Tools
Part 3 – What I really think about this book.
Part 1 – What is this book about?
By combining 60 years of hands-on working experience using the elements of Jungian psychology with the kind of practical approach found in Ellis' Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, Psychiatrist Phil Stutz and Psychotherapist Barry Michels have designed an innovative approach to help clients suffering from Depression, Anxiety, Insecurities, Past Hurts and Difficult Problems find Innovative & Spiritual Solutions. They believe that Traditional Time-Proven Therapy – which though effective, focuses too extensively on the causes of the problem and not on finding a permanent solution.
They have identified four fundamental problems that prevent people from living the lives to the fullest:
1) Moving Away or Avoiding Pain
2) Unrealistic and Untrue Negative Belief Systems
3) Insecurities based on Assumptions
4) Negative Thinking
The authors' have combined Positive Thinking, Positive Actions, Spirituality, Faith, Love and being United with the Higher Power as ingredients to their Powerful Formula. And the foundation for its success is in the hands of the clients – they willingness, perseverance, determination and dedication to apply these principles every time and in every area of their lives.
A good feature that this book does provide is a helpful summary, and a Q & A session, on each tool at the end of chapters.
Part 2 - Outline of the Tools
The following are the Tools as provided in the book.
1. Reversal of Desire
2. Active Love
3. Inner Authority
4. The Grateful Flow
5. Jeopardy
Part 3 – What I really think about this book.
I do not have any problems with concepts like The Source, The Shadow or The Maze. Neither do I have any issues or problems with Pseudoscience, Belief in some Higher Power (Even an Atheist Alcoholic at Alcoholic Anonymous succeeds), or Luck being suggested in the book. But when you get an Educated Intellect trying to prove the existence of a Mysterious Higher Power because he had a dream one year ago about an earthquake and because it actually took place the next year - becomes a laughable matter. Over that the self-contradiction that is so prevalent throughout the book – The author states that Norman Vincent Peale’s philosophy of Positive Thinking does not work but then promulgates replacing Negative Thinking with Love – didn’t make any sense. And then you also have the Disclaimer – Even if you use all these techniques, life is not going to get any better – but then do not stop using these techniques as life, after testing you, will eventually make you a better person. Finally, the part I hated most about the book was use of euphemisms to replace the traditionally more powerful and accepted word ‘god’ and replace it with New Age Mysticism, mixed with Scientific Principles and what Micheal Shermer calls a bit of ‘Woo Woo’ – which Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and the infamous Eckhart Tolle use very rampantly. They people though with good intentions, are already deluded and end up deluding the whole world.
Overall Summary
If you ask me, I got disconnected to the book the minute I read the part that you should connect to the higher power and then there were techniques given to help you get closer to this higher power. I have had too many Certified Quacks who mix Concepts of NLP, Quantum Physics and Spirituality state too many things that cannot be proven. So this book to me is a mix of the Woo Woo, Scientific Terms and Authors who believe in something that cannot be proved, measured or quantified.
Another Classic Disappointment and a very Forgettable Book.
Overall Rating
2 out of 10.
Read it. See if it works. If not, dump it.
Part 1 – What is this book about.
Part 2 - Outline of the Tools
Part 3 – What I really think about this book.
Part 1 – What is this book about?
By combining 60 years of hands-on working experience using the elements of Jungian psychology with the kind of practical approach found in Ellis' Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, Psychiatrist Phil Stutz and Psychotherapist Barry Michels have designed an innovative approach to help clients suffering from Depression, Anxiety, Insecurities, Past Hurts and Difficult Problems find Innovative & Spiritual Solutions. They believe that Traditional Time-Proven Therapy – which though effective, focuses too extensively on the causes of the problem and not on finding a permanent solution.
They have identified four fundamental problems that prevent people from living the lives to the fullest:
1) Moving Away or Avoiding Pain
2) Unrealistic and Untrue Negative Belief Systems
3) Insecurities based on Assumptions
4) Negative Thinking
The authors' have combined Positive Thinking, Positive Actions, Spirituality, Faith, Love and being United with the Higher Power as ingredients to their Powerful Formula. And the foundation for its success is in the hands of the clients – they willingness, perseverance, determination and dedication to apply these principles every time and in every area of their lives.
A good feature that this book does provide is a helpful summary, and a Q & A session, on each tool at the end of chapters.
Part 2 - Outline of the Tools
The following are the Tools as provided in the book.
1. Reversal of Desire
2. Active Love
3. Inner Authority
4. The Grateful Flow
5. Jeopardy
Part 3 – What I really think about this book.
I do not have any problems with concepts like The Source, The Shadow or The Maze. Neither do I have any issues or problems with Pseudoscience, Belief in some Higher Power (Even an Atheist Alcoholic at Alcoholic Anonymous succeeds), or Luck being suggested in the book. But when you get an Educated Intellect trying to prove the existence of a Mysterious Higher Power because he had a dream one year ago about an earthquake and because it actually took place the next year - becomes a laughable matter. Over that the self-contradiction that is so prevalent throughout the book – The author states that Norman Vincent Peale’s philosophy of Positive Thinking does not work but then promulgates replacing Negative Thinking with Love – didn’t make any sense. And then you also have the Disclaimer – Even if you use all these techniques, life is not going to get any better – but then do not stop using these techniques as life, after testing you, will eventually make you a better person. Finally, the part I hated most about the book was use of euphemisms to replace the traditionally more powerful and accepted word ‘god’ and replace it with New Age Mysticism, mixed with Scientific Principles and what Micheal Shermer calls a bit of ‘Woo Woo’ – which Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and the infamous Eckhart Tolle use very rampantly. They people though with good intentions, are already deluded and end up deluding the whole world.
Overall Summary
If you ask me, I got disconnected to the book the minute I read the part that you should connect to the higher power and then there were techniques given to help you get closer to this higher power. I have had too many Certified Quacks who mix Concepts of NLP, Quantum Physics and Spirituality state too many things that cannot be proven. So this book to me is a mix of the Woo Woo, Scientific Terms and Authors who believe in something that cannot be proved, measured or quantified.
Another Classic Disappointment and a very Forgettable Book.
Overall Rating
2 out of 10.
Read it. See if it works. If not, dump it.
August 23, 2013
I was going to give this book 5 or 4 stars, because first 4 techniques are elegant, enjoyable, easy to use and do seem to make a real difference in one's daily life. I encourage everyone to familiarise themselves with the presented techniques.
However, in order to fully enjoy this book, I highly recommend to read chapters 2-5 and stop there. Chapter 6 (the one that presents so called 5th tool) is quite offensive and depressing, and is really more a quintessence of the darkest side of organised religion ("you, miserable animals, are going to be miserable forever. Unless you use the tools 24/7. Then you are going to be slightly less miserable. Maybe. If you are persistent and loyal to The Tools(tm)" rather than an inspiring read. And remaining (redundant) part of the book is filled with authors' attempts to write a "Higher force for dummies" manual (they fail, by the way).
So, in my highly subjective opinion:
1. Part of the book is really worth reading
2. However, even the readable part should be read selectively. Get the techniques, skip the rest. Keep your critical thinking on.
3. If someone could rewrite the book with a positive outlook, it would have been the best book of a decade. But here we see a number of brilliant and working ideas surrounded by author's inner demons (which are presented as absolute and final truth).
However, in order to fully enjoy this book, I highly recommend to read chapters 2-5 and stop there. Chapter 6 (the one that presents so called 5th tool) is quite offensive and depressing, and is really more a quintessence of the darkest side of organised religion ("you, miserable animals, are going to be miserable forever. Unless you use the tools 24/7. Then you are going to be slightly less miserable. Maybe. If you are persistent and loyal to The Tools(tm)" rather than an inspiring read. And remaining (redundant) part of the book is filled with authors' attempts to write a "Higher force for dummies" manual (they fail, by the way).
So, in my highly subjective opinion:
1. Part of the book is really worth reading
2. However, even the readable part should be read selectively. Get the techniques, skip the rest. Keep your critical thinking on.
3. If someone could rewrite the book with a positive outlook, it would have been the best book of a decade. But here we see a number of brilliant and working ideas surrounded by author's inner demons (which are presented as absolute and final truth).
May 31, 2012
Some interesting ideas, but I found the emphasis on the "higher powers" pretty off-putting, particularly during the second half of the book, where the authors seem to go out of their way to denigrate skepticism, the scientific method, and science in general. For those of us who don't buy the idea that the universe has an intelligent consciousness, much of what they have to say is hard to swallow. Some of the techniques they offer seem promising, though, so there must be a way to incorporate the method without having to buy into the intense spirituality.
September 14, 2012
This book has been flying off our shelves at work, so I'm going to see what it's all about!
---
Now that I'm finished, I feel that my rating (5/5) requires a nuanced review...especially given how split the readership seems to be in regards to the ratings. Whether or not I'll achieve the nuance and success in explaining...we'll see.
So, overall this is an excellent book for people who want a real way to take control of the psychological issues that they face in their lives. Out of control emotions, worrying, fear, shyness, inability to stay committed to a goal or set of rules (ie, eating well or not smoking, etc), and so on. There's tons of possibilities and not everyone will fit the extreme examples that the authors use in the book. I think that we could all use some help from at least one of the tools that they discuss. In fact, as I was reading the book I kept thinking in the back of my head that I need to buy a copy for this person or that person because they clearly need one tool or another to deal with some issue that they have. I simply can't afford that number of books, so instead here I am reviewing.
Yes, the book's perspective and explanation of how the tools work can be incredibly off-putting, especially for atheists or people who really dislike touchy-feely-ness. Essentially the authors refer to 'The Source' and other 'Forces' to help explain how the tools work, such as making a connection with The Source in order to utilize it's power in order to regain control over your thoughts and feelings and move on with life. The truth is, while they even say that if you want to think of The Source as God and that this is perfectly fine, one could name this 'power' just about anything: Energy, The Force (Star Wars fans?), Mother Nature, The Cosmos, The Gods, The Transcending Power of Society, that-thing-that-makes-us-connect-as-human-beings-that-we-can't-explain-but-clearly-has-an-effect-on-us, or something else! Honestly, I'm pretty sure that you could even use the tools without having a belief in this spiritual explanation of what's going on in the background when you use the tools - the authors even say that this is totally okay. One of the authors was raised an atheist and discusses his own journey in using the tools.
In regards to another criticism that I've read - that the authors are critical of consumerism and yet want people to buy their book. Well yes, and they address this quite directly. They note that a consumer would read the book through and not take any real meaning away from it, likely forgetting the tools and never using them again, if ever. Rather, the authors are pointing out that many of us are consumers in hopes that we'll find meaning, satisfaction, and self-worth through external means, such as buying the new object of status (a tv, the nice home, fancy clothes, etc), whereas true meaning and inner strength come from within. This doesn't mean that you can't live well, but rather that until you find your inner strength and happiness, you'll just be on a never-ending quest of consumerism in hopes that you will find it.
Finally, I wanted to quote a few passages from the book but since my library loan was a limited 7-day loan (best bets shelf), I had to return it today. I'm hoping to buy it soon, so perhaps then I can add more here. Not that this review isn't long enough already. Give the book a chance, and if you really can't stand the spirituality perspective that they discuss from time to time (mostly at the end), then just keep reading and leave the spirituality vocabulary aside so that you can at least try out the tools and see how they work in action.
---
Now that I'm finished, I feel that my rating (5/5) requires a nuanced review...especially given how split the readership seems to be in regards to the ratings. Whether or not I'll achieve the nuance and success in explaining...we'll see.
So, overall this is an excellent book for people who want a real way to take control of the psychological issues that they face in their lives. Out of control emotions, worrying, fear, shyness, inability to stay committed to a goal or set of rules (ie, eating well or not smoking, etc), and so on. There's tons of possibilities and not everyone will fit the extreme examples that the authors use in the book. I think that we could all use some help from at least one of the tools that they discuss. In fact, as I was reading the book I kept thinking in the back of my head that I need to buy a copy for this person or that person because they clearly need one tool or another to deal with some issue that they have. I simply can't afford that number of books, so instead here I am reviewing.
Yes, the book's perspective and explanation of how the tools work can be incredibly off-putting, especially for atheists or people who really dislike touchy-feely-ness. Essentially the authors refer to 'The Source' and other 'Forces' to help explain how the tools work, such as making a connection with The Source in order to utilize it's power in order to regain control over your thoughts and feelings and move on with life. The truth is, while they even say that if you want to think of The Source as God and that this is perfectly fine, one could name this 'power' just about anything: Energy, The Force (Star Wars fans?), Mother Nature, The Cosmos, The Gods, The Transcending Power of Society, that-thing-that-makes-us-connect-as-human-beings-that-we-can't-explain-but-clearly-has-an-effect-on-us, or something else! Honestly, I'm pretty sure that you could even use the tools without having a belief in this spiritual explanation of what's going on in the background when you use the tools - the authors even say that this is totally okay. One of the authors was raised an atheist and discusses his own journey in using the tools.
In regards to another criticism that I've read - that the authors are critical of consumerism and yet want people to buy their book. Well yes, and they address this quite directly. They note that a consumer would read the book through and not take any real meaning away from it, likely forgetting the tools and never using them again, if ever. Rather, the authors are pointing out that many of us are consumers in hopes that we'll find meaning, satisfaction, and self-worth through external means, such as buying the new object of status (a tv, the nice home, fancy clothes, etc), whereas true meaning and inner strength come from within. This doesn't mean that you can't live well, but rather that until you find your inner strength and happiness, you'll just be on a never-ending quest of consumerism in hopes that you will find it.
Finally, I wanted to quote a few passages from the book but since my library loan was a limited 7-day loan (best bets shelf), I had to return it today. I'm hoping to buy it soon, so perhaps then I can add more here. Not that this review isn't long enough already. Give the book a chance, and if you really can't stand the spirituality perspective that they discuss from time to time (mostly at the end), then just keep reading and leave the spirituality vocabulary aside so that you can at least try out the tools and see how they work in action.
September 1, 2013
**There’s a tool for that**
Pain.
It’s one of those inconvenient givens of life. Although we spend so much energy trying to avoid it, it makes a regular appearance in our daily lives: in our constantly playing thoughts of “things shouldn’t be this way; ” in the insecurities that hold us back from doing what we want to do and being who we want to be; and in the negative thought clouds that can easily black out the bright spots in our lives.
What a pain.
In their book _The Tools_, Phil Stutz and Barry Michels share the tools that have worked for them (and their clients) in dealing with this painful existential given. Their fours tools (and the “higher forces” which power them) are:
1. The Reversal of Desire: Uses the force of Forward Motion to directly face pain instead of attempting to avoid it by hiding in a comfort zone.
2. Active Love: Uses the force of Outflow to dissolve your sense of unfairness so you can break free of the maze of ruminative thoughts and allow yourself to accept what (and who) is.
3. Inner Authority: Uses the force of Self Expression to face your insecurities by accepting your shadow (the embodiment of all negative traits) and revealing yourself in a truthful and authentic way.
4. Grateful Flow: Uses the force of the Source to diminish the black cloud of negative thinking by focusing on specific things you are grateful for.
Each tool is pretty solid and easily implemented, even if you don’t buy into its fueled-by-a-higher-power premise. Overall, the book is worth the read, but I’d recommend taking with you an additional tool of “take-what–fits-and-leave-the-rest-behind.” At times, the authors’ explanations and conclusions can feel a bit forced and hand-waved, but nothing that the tools of The Reversal of Desire and Grateful Flow (see above) can’t handle.
Pain: There’s a tool for that.
Pain.
It’s one of those inconvenient givens of life. Although we spend so much energy trying to avoid it, it makes a regular appearance in our daily lives: in our constantly playing thoughts of “things shouldn’t be this way; ” in the insecurities that hold us back from doing what we want to do and being who we want to be; and in the negative thought clouds that can easily black out the bright spots in our lives.
What a pain.
In their book _The Tools_, Phil Stutz and Barry Michels share the tools that have worked for them (and their clients) in dealing with this painful existential given. Their fours tools (and the “higher forces” which power them) are:
1. The Reversal of Desire: Uses the force of Forward Motion to directly face pain instead of attempting to avoid it by hiding in a comfort zone.
2. Active Love: Uses the force of Outflow to dissolve your sense of unfairness so you can break free of the maze of ruminative thoughts and allow yourself to accept what (and who) is.
3. Inner Authority: Uses the force of Self Expression to face your insecurities by accepting your shadow (the embodiment of all negative traits) and revealing yourself in a truthful and authentic way.
4. Grateful Flow: Uses the force of the Source to diminish the black cloud of negative thinking by focusing on specific things you are grateful for.
Each tool is pretty solid and easily implemented, even if you don’t buy into its fueled-by-a-higher-power premise. Overall, the book is worth the read, but I’d recommend taking with you an additional tool of “take-what–fits-and-leave-the-rest-behind.” At times, the authors’ explanations and conclusions can feel a bit forced and hand-waved, but nothing that the tools of The Reversal of Desire and Grateful Flow (see above) can’t handle.
Pain: There’s a tool for that.
October 1, 2012
Wishy washy nonsense. I am not going to visualize a beam of all my love penetrating some one whom I'm angry at's solar plexus. This is ridiculous. Maybe I'm not an extreme enough situation for me to find any of these "tools" necessary or relevant, but it's all wispy washy nonsense. This book belongs in a class with 6 Weeks to OMG and The Secret. If you are spineless and gullible, then awesome - you'll love these! Have a functioning brain? Not so much.
June 22, 2012
I thought it was outstanding! Two psychiatrists accepted that "this just really isn't working" when they realised that encouraging their patients to talk endlessly about their past wasn't giving them any relief in the present day. They found they hadn't been trained to do anything else and so were forced to devise 5 visualisation exercises of their own that anyone can apply and practice for lasting inner change. The tools are simple and they worked for me - and they also have their own philosophy of life to them: practicing them will mean pushing against ingrained habits and attitudes about what life is all about and how life works - practicing may mean accepting "I've had this all wrong". I found the fifth one especially challenging.
Can't recommend it enough - like Eugene Gendlin's book "Focusing" it moves psychology away from speculation and into real life. Instead of offering yet another new way to chart or understand someone's inner life, it offers a simple and practical way to grips with and overcome difficult, frightening or debilitating emotional states. The emphasis is always on immediate and felt change.
It's the usual pop-psychology format: each exercise gets a chapter of its own, there are loads of examples of how their patients used them, and the voice of the authors is present in the book with a fun and relaxed tone. There are some attempts to reconcile their work it with classical psychology - there's enough of Jung in one of the exercises to satisfy you if you read psychology for fun/interest. They mention writing a future book which I look forward to reading.
Can't recommend it enough - like Eugene Gendlin's book "Focusing" it moves psychology away from speculation and into real life. Instead of offering yet another new way to chart or understand someone's inner life, it offers a simple and practical way to grips with and overcome difficult, frightening or debilitating emotional states. The emphasis is always on immediate and felt change.
It's the usual pop-psychology format: each exercise gets a chapter of its own, there are loads of examples of how their patients used them, and the voice of the authors is present in the book with a fun and relaxed tone. There are some attempts to reconcile their work it with classical psychology - there's enough of Jung in one of the exercises to satisfy you if you read psychology for fun/interest. They mention writing a future book which I look forward to reading.
August 12, 2023
I really liked this, more than I thought I would. Partially I think I liked it because I'd read the New Yorker piece, so I was primed to be open to these guys.
Plus I've used and am still using the tools, although not as often as I did. They do work - especially in my case, because I have a big bugaboo with shrinking in the face of disapproval. I step back from the hard stuff, in other words. So when I can really do the first tool on avoidance - step INTO the pain of what it is - I really find myself stepping forward into uncomfortable situations. And you know, that's valuable.
I've even suggested this book to friends and clients. Obviously your mileage may vary wildly, but if you really go into doing one of the tools sincerely, you'll probably be rewarded.
Plus I've used and am still using the tools, although not as often as I did. They do work - especially in my case, because I have a big bugaboo with shrinking in the face of disapproval. I step back from the hard stuff, in other words. So when I can really do the first tool on avoidance - step INTO the pain of what it is - I really find myself stepping forward into uncomfortable situations. And you know, that's valuable.
I've even suggested this book to friends and clients. Obviously your mileage may vary wildly, but if you really go into doing one of the tools sincerely, you'll probably be rewarded.
November 23, 2020
It's extremely difficult for me to write this review, and this is why.
The book has several principles, following which should make our life much better; if only we could just follow them! The first one being, basically, 'love your enemies'. I mean, yes, I've heard this recommendation before, I trust it works for those who can do it, and yet I so do not love some people...
After you struggle with implementing a couple of suchlike principles in your life, what they tell you is: now, please accept it that you'll always have to struggle (with it or just generally), life will never be quite nice. I definitely see the truth of this, I know this deep inside, but on the other hand, all I ever want is, you know, to be healthy, happy, and rich :)
So I keep trying, but I'm not sure it's going to work for me, and this is a lot of work, applying these tenets, it's exhausting.
But in principle, I do see how this might be super helpful.
The book has several principles, following which should make our life much better; if only we could just follow them! The first one being, basically, 'love your enemies'. I mean, yes, I've heard this recommendation before, I trust it works for those who can do it, and yet I so do not love some people...
After you struggle with implementing a couple of suchlike principles in your life, what they tell you is: now, please accept it that you'll always have to struggle (with it or just generally), life will never be quite nice. I definitely see the truth of this, I know this deep inside, but on the other hand, all I ever want is, you know, to be healthy, happy, and rich :)
So I keep trying, but I'm not sure it's going to work for me, and this is a lot of work, applying these tenets, it's exhausting.
But in principle, I do see how this might be super helpful.
July 3, 2012
I saw a review for this book, I think in Time Magazine, and thought it would be a great self help book. The authors are both psychologist that provide tools to deal with life problems in there psychotherapy approach with there patients. This book provides many of those examples.
The tools are
1. The Reversal of Desire - When you need to take action that you have been avoiding. This says we need to welcome trips outside of our Comfort Zone when actions need to be taken. I can say there have been things that I have avoided for fear they would be difficult, and when I get to them they are easier that I expected. Using this tool is to get you mentally prepare to handle the pain of take the difficult action out of your comfort zone to get through it. "Bring it on!" "I love pain!" "Pain sets me free!"
2. Active Love - When you are angered you need to get calm to get back into control. I don't get enraged by a lot of things. Concentration: of love from the love that surrounds you, Transmission: of the love to the person causing the anger, Penetration: of the person with love.
3. Inner Authority - When you are intimidated, you need to overcome your insecurity before or during an event, or when thinking about an event. See and focus on your shadow (what you are afraid of becoming) outside of yourself, and together take command of your communication.
4. The Grateful Flow - When you are filled with worry, self-hatred, or negative-thinking. List at least 5 things you are grateful for, including things you may take for granted, then feel the physical sensation of gratefulness.
5. Jeopardy - When you don't want to use the tools, picture yourself having run out of time. This is a tool to give willpower to keep focused on the next task.
In the Jeopardy section, there is some talk about the "Consumer" versus the "Creator" which has come up in other settings. I'm trying to shed my consumerism very dearly, and this is another example that helps me see that.
The tools are
1. The Reversal of Desire - When you need to take action that you have been avoiding. This says we need to welcome trips outside of our Comfort Zone when actions need to be taken. I can say there have been things that I have avoided for fear they would be difficult, and when I get to them they are easier that I expected. Using this tool is to get you mentally prepare to handle the pain of take the difficult action out of your comfort zone to get through it. "Bring it on!" "I love pain!" "Pain sets me free!"
2. Active Love - When you are angered you need to get calm to get back into control. I don't get enraged by a lot of things. Concentration: of love from the love that surrounds you, Transmission: of the love to the person causing the anger, Penetration: of the person with love.
3. Inner Authority - When you are intimidated, you need to overcome your insecurity before or during an event, or when thinking about an event. See and focus on your shadow (what you are afraid of becoming) outside of yourself, and together take command of your communication.
4. The Grateful Flow - When you are filled with worry, self-hatred, or negative-thinking. List at least 5 things you are grateful for, including things you may take for granted, then feel the physical sensation of gratefulness.
5. Jeopardy - When you don't want to use the tools, picture yourself having run out of time. This is a tool to give willpower to keep focused on the next task.
In the Jeopardy section, there is some talk about the "Consumer" versus the "Creator" which has come up in other settings. I'm trying to shed my consumerism very dearly, and this is another example that helps me see that.
October 30, 2018
Minimalistic rebranding of psychological interventions (reframing, visualization, meditation, self-talk). This in and of itself is not enough for a poor review. However as a mental health professional, their misrepresentation of the science of psychology as well as forcing a spiritual world view make this book both frustrating and frightening.
I first became confused and frustrated with the authors seemingly limited knowledge of psychological theories and interventions. As they both claim to be in the field of psychology, I am left to wonder if they are ignorant to all the various psychological theories (beyond Jung and Psychoanalysis which they address) or, more upsetting, if they are willing to disparage an entire field of psychology in order to sell more books. Neither of these options seem professional nor reflective of a field whose purpose is to help others.
Secondly their use of spiritualism (The Source), though they state is applicable to all beliefs, shows limited understanding of cultural competence. In fact they state that in order to fully benefit from their theory, you must accept “The Source” as a reality. That is a fine belief system to have, however to put that on another person is unethical at best and potentially quite harmful.
The “Tools” in a basic sense can be helpful. They and others are widely used in therapy (typically called coping skills). However the underlying messages in this book are inherently oppressive, negligent/fraudulent, and a dangerous way to practice psychotherapy.
I first became confused and frustrated with the authors seemingly limited knowledge of psychological theories and interventions. As they both claim to be in the field of psychology, I am left to wonder if they are ignorant to all the various psychological theories (beyond Jung and Psychoanalysis which they address) or, more upsetting, if they are willing to disparage an entire field of psychology in order to sell more books. Neither of these options seem professional nor reflective of a field whose purpose is to help others.
Secondly their use of spiritualism (The Source), though they state is applicable to all beliefs, shows limited understanding of cultural competence. In fact they state that in order to fully benefit from their theory, you must accept “The Source” as a reality. That is a fine belief system to have, however to put that on another person is unethical at best and potentially quite harmful.
The “Tools” in a basic sense can be helpful. They and others are widely used in therapy (typically called coping skills). However the underlying messages in this book are inherently oppressive, negligent/fraudulent, and a dangerous way to practice psychotherapy.
May 18, 2012
Ordinarily, I avoid self-help books the way I avoid DIY root canals.
This one is different. Specific. Practical. Actually helpful. For example, here's a nugget that got me through a recent festering tangle of procrastination/anxiety: "Pain is not absloute. When you move toward it, pain shrinks...the more intense the pain-- the more you move into it-- the more energy you create."
OK-- that sounds like masochism. It's more like muscle-building.
It's cognitive. It's less therapy and more coaching. VERY highly recommended.
This one is different. Specific. Practical. Actually helpful. For example, here's a nugget that got me through a recent festering tangle of procrastination/anxiety: "Pain is not absloute. When you move toward it, pain shrinks...the more intense the pain-- the more you move into it-- the more energy you create."
OK-- that sounds like masochism. It's more like muscle-building.
It's cognitive. It's less therapy and more coaching. VERY highly recommended.
February 15, 2022
Favorite quote: “The strength I was feeling came to me because-for the first time in my life-I had accepted that time is limited. I couldn’t afford to waste it ruminating about the past or fantasizing about the future. The only thing that mattered was what I was doing at that moment”.
January 24, 2023
Tl;dr - This book has 4 excellent tools to use daily, if you want, that boil down to the basics and are nothing new. It then has 1 sketchy tool, and the end is garbage. I am glad I read it, and plan on using 3 of the Tools on the regular, but I am not an advocate for the entire suite.
I would never had read this book with Netflix. The cover features an endorsement from Dr. Oz, which alone makes it worth not touching, but again, thanks to my soft spot for Jonah Hill, I gave it a go anyway.
The Tools themselves - chapters 2 to 6 - are all pretty good tools. Nothing new here, just a good presentation and way of telling them: Push through fear/pain, Love Others, Love Thyself, Remember Gratefulness, Thou Art Mortal. If it feels like it is because it is an old tale told differently. I think chapters 2 to 6 are a good read in isolation, and can be very helpful, but do not stand alone or replace other therapies, and should not be a stopping point, but additional pieces to your toolbox of mental health. Chapter 2, 3, and 5 stand apart as the best. Chapter 4 has a big flaw in that, if you do not have inferiority (which we all do to some degree) and instead grapple with a different "shadow" - it is outright dismissed as bad and needing its own book - pages 132 and 133 literally abandoned me.
The book has 3 major flaws, and they are on full presentation in the last 2 chapters unfortunately. The book insists it works, 100%, and if it doesn't you need to examine you - this is not a great way to offer help; nothing is one-size-fits-all, I don't care how hard you try. The second is the Divine - I am, personally, a spiritual person, who also feels science is very important, and the last 2 chapters embrace Faith too much and go out of the way to, seemingly, tarnish science and rationalism. I understand one might need a "balance in all things", but this puts its finger on the scale, leaving me feeling a bit sullied. The third flaw is hypocrisy. The book frequently mentions how distasteful "Southern Californian Spiritualism" is, teases it, makes fun of it a little - a lot of shade and side-eye toward LA and their particular brand of divinity - but ultimately, this book is just that, Southern Californian LA Spiritualism, only, it condemns the others. Combined with the "this works 100% of the time or you are wrong" attitude smacks of "One True Faith" gibberish while condemning alternative approaches and sciences. My bias shows as well, in that the ONLY religion directly quoted is Christianity, complete with Bible verses. For a book that claims it has no central religion, the fact it ONLY quotes the Bible is another flaw - but that is also a personal bias of mine, so take that with a grain of salt.
Good luck to you all. Love thyself, Love each other - simple as that.
I would never had read this book with Netflix. The cover features an endorsement from Dr. Oz, which alone makes it worth not touching, but again, thanks to my soft spot for Jonah Hill, I gave it a go anyway.
The Tools themselves - chapters 2 to 6 - are all pretty good tools. Nothing new here, just a good presentation and way of telling them: Push through fear/pain, Love Others, Love Thyself, Remember Gratefulness, Thou Art Mortal. If it feels like it is because it is an old tale told differently. I think chapters 2 to 6 are a good read in isolation, and can be very helpful, but do not stand alone or replace other therapies, and should not be a stopping point, but additional pieces to your toolbox of mental health. Chapter 2, 3, and 5 stand apart as the best. Chapter 4 has a big flaw in that, if you do not have inferiority (which we all do to some degree) and instead grapple with a different "shadow" - it is outright dismissed as bad and needing its own book - pages 132 and 133 literally abandoned me.
The book has 3 major flaws, and they are on full presentation in the last 2 chapters unfortunately. The book insists it works, 100%, and if it doesn't you need to examine you - this is not a great way to offer help; nothing is one-size-fits-all, I don't care how hard you try. The second is the Divine - I am, personally, a spiritual person, who also feels science is very important, and the last 2 chapters embrace Faith too much and go out of the way to, seemingly, tarnish science and rationalism. I understand one might need a "balance in all things", but this puts its finger on the scale, leaving me feeling a bit sullied. The third flaw is hypocrisy. The book frequently mentions how distasteful "Southern Californian Spiritualism" is, teases it, makes fun of it a little - a lot of shade and side-eye toward LA and their particular brand of divinity - but ultimately, this book is just that, Southern Californian LA Spiritualism, only, it condemns the others. Combined with the "this works 100% of the time or you are wrong" attitude smacks of "One True Faith" gibberish while condemning alternative approaches and sciences. My bias shows as well, in that the ONLY religion directly quoted is Christianity, complete with Bible verses. For a book that claims it has no central religion, the fact it ONLY quotes the Bible is another flaw - but that is also a personal bias of mine, so take that with a grain of salt.
Good luck to you all. Love thyself, Love each other - simple as that.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 25, 2023
يقوم الكتاب على فكرة وجود قوى عليا يتوجب على الإنسان الاتصال بها كي تمنحه القوة والشفاء والقدرة على مواجهة مواقف تبدو مؤلمة أو صعبة. يدافع الكتاب عن وجود هذه القوى تجريبياً، ويطلب من المتشككين أن يقوموا بتجربة الاتصال بها والإحساس بوجودها من خلال تدريبات تعطى لتغطية مواقف معينة، عوضاً عن محاولة إثبات وجودها أو نفيه من منطلق ذهني خام.
الفرضية الأساسية هي أن هذه القوى خيرة وح��يمة بطبعها وتريد خير الإنسان وسعادته، وتعمل هذه القوى على توفير فرص للإنسان للسمو والترقي من خلال سلسلة الابتلاءات التي تضعها في طريقه، وسيكون عليه الاختيار إما أن يتفاعل مع هذه الابتلاءات بصورة تتضمن التماس العون والمساعدة من هذه القوى، أو التشكيك في وجودها وإهمالها وبالتالي البقاء في دائرة العذاب والفشل.
رغم أنه يمكن اكتشاف الصلة المباشرة بين فكرة الأديان عن وجود إله رحيم حكيم عادل وعن فكرة الكاتب حول هذه القوى، فإن الكتاب يدافع عن فكرة الروحانية بديلاً للدين، خاصة في شكله المنظم، لأن الكتاب يرفض فكرة السلطة الدينية، ويرى بأن الروحانية لا يجب أن تحمل شكلاً ما، بل هي قابلة للتشكل وفقاً لكل إنسان، فيما يشبه أديان ما بعد الحداثة التي تكلم حولها فلاسفة كثر.
على العموم يلتقي هذا الكتاب مع فكرة إطلاقات طاقات الحياة التي وردت عنواناً لكتاب آخر للدكتور مصطفى حجازي، الذي يصف فيه آلية المرض النفسي التي تعبر عن نزعة كامنة في النفس نحو حياة صحية ومشرقة (طاقات الحياة)، وكيف أن هدف العلاج النفسي هو التعاطي مع هذه النزعة والعمل معها من أجل تحقيق التعافي والنمو.
الكتاب بمجمله مفيد فيما يخص تحليل الأحداث اليومية والمشاعر والأفكار والتعاطي معها بشكل إيجابي، خاصة فيما يخص الخروج من منطقة الراحة أو التعامل مع الظل الذي تحدث عنه كارل يونغ ونظّر له. لذا أراه جيداً في هذه الناحية. لذا أنصح بالاطلاع عليه.
الفرضية الأساسية هي أن هذه القوى خيرة وح��يمة بطبعها وتريد خير الإنسان وسعادته، وتعمل هذه القوى على توفير فرص للإنسان للسمو والترقي من خلال سلسلة الابتلاءات التي تضعها في طريقه، وسيكون عليه الاختيار إما أن يتفاعل مع هذه الابتلاءات بصورة تتضمن التماس العون والمساعدة من هذه القوى، أو التشكيك في وجودها وإهمالها وبالتالي البقاء في دائرة العذاب والفشل.
رغم أنه يمكن اكتشاف الصلة المباشرة بين فكرة الأديان عن وجود إله رحيم حكيم عادل وعن فكرة الكاتب حول هذه القوى، فإن الكتاب يدافع عن فكرة الروحانية بديلاً للدين، خاصة في شكله المنظم، لأن الكتاب يرفض فكرة السلطة الدينية، ويرى بأن الروحانية لا يجب أن تحمل شكلاً ما، بل هي قابلة للتشكل وفقاً لكل إنسان، فيما يشبه أديان ما بعد الحداثة التي تكلم حولها فلاسفة كثر.
على العموم يلتقي هذا الكتاب مع فكرة إطلاقات طاقات الحياة التي وردت عنواناً لكتاب آخر للدكتور مصطفى حجازي، الذي يصف فيه آلية المرض النفسي التي تعبر عن نزعة كامنة في النفس نحو حياة صحية ومشرقة (طاقات الحياة)، وكيف أن هدف العلاج النفسي هو التعاطي مع هذه النزعة والعمل معها من أجل تحقيق التعافي والنمو.
الكتاب بمجمله مفيد فيما يخص تحليل الأحداث اليومية والمشاعر والأفكار والتعاطي معها بشكل إيجابي، خاصة فيما يخص الخروج من منطقة الراحة أو التعامل مع الظل الذي تحدث عنه كارل يونغ ونظّر له. لذا أراه جيداً في هذه الناحية. لذا أنصح بالاطلاع عليه.
March 3, 2019
"The Tools" hat mich vor allem deshalb neugierig gemacht, weil das Buch von zwei (scheinbar renommierten) Psychotherapeuten geschrieben wurde. Einige von Euch haben es ja vielleicht schon mitbekommen, dass ich selbst als Psychologin arbeite und mich derzeit in Weiterbildung zur Psychotherapeutin befinde, deshalb habe ich mir von dem Buch natürlich ein paar wertvolle Tipps für meine Arbeit mit Patienten erhofft.
Was Mr. Stutz zu Beginn des Buches schreibt, klingt sehr vielversprechend. Es wird davon gesprochen, dass die beiden Herren durch ihre langjährige Erfahrung ein paar Tools entwickelt haben, die scheinbar jedes psychologische Problem lösen sollen. Diese Versprechung ist schon mal sehr weit hergeholt, denn auch wenn die meisten (psycho-)therapeutischen Methoden evidenzbasiert sind, wagt es keine Therapierichtung zu behaupten, dass man damit jedes Problem lösen kann. Man kann aber durchaus eine Reduzierung des Leidensdrucks versprechen.
Voller Wissensdurst wollte ich also die Geheimnisse der Psychotherapie entdecken. Doch so enthusiastisch ich das Buch begonnen habe, so schnell ist mein Interesse für den Inhalt auch wieder verflogen. Relativ bald wurde mir klar, dass das Buch sehr viel leeres Gerede enthält, das Mal hier und da mit (für mich teilweise sehr merkwürdigen) Patientengeschichten ergänzt wird. Die vielen Worte sollen vermutlich darüber hinwegtäuschen, dass es tatsächlich einen Inhalt gibt, der hier vermittelt werden soll. Spätestens nachdem man das Ende des Kapitels zum ersten Tool erreicht und sieht, dass jedes Tool kurz und knapp auf maximal 2 Seiten zusammengefasst werden kann, sollte es dem Leser dämmern, wie wenig Konkretes hier einem vermittelt wird. Das Gerede des Autors ist dabei so ausschweifend und unkonkret, dass es mir schleierhaft war, worum es eigentlich geht. Die versprochenen Tools waren ausserdem auch nichts anderes als bereits bestehende psychotherapeutische Techniken, denen die Autoren bloss einen einfacheren und reisserischen Namen gegeben haben. Wenn ich an meine Patienten denken, dann würden sie wohl die Augen verdrehen, wenn ich von ihnen verlangen würde, eine Technik anzuwenden, bei dem sie ihrem vermeintlichen Todfeind "aktive Liebe" entgegen bringen müssen. Der Grundgedanke ist ja nicht falsch, aber das was Mr. Stutz da mit seinem lächerlichen Vokabular zu erklären versucht, wird in der Psychotherapie schlicht und ergreifend als "radikale Akzeptanz" bezeichnet, was meiner Meinung nach auch ein viel treffender Begriff ist. Es würde jetzt allerdings zu weit führen, wenn ich jedem Tool die entsprechend offizielle Technik aus der Verhaltenstherapie o.ä. gegenüberstellen würde. Aber glaubt mir einfach, wenn ich sage, dass die beiden Psychotherapeuten das Rad nicht neu erfunden haben, sondern bekannte Techniken unter anderen Begriffen vermarkten. Dabei sind ihre Erläuterungen teilweise so seltsam, dass ich sie als Laie nur schwer umsetzen könnte, weil sie teilweise einfach übertrieben und lächerlich klingen.
Ich habe das Buch relativ bald einmal nur noch überflogen, weil für mich nichts Hilfreiches erläutert wurde und es reicht, wenn man sich die Kapitelzusammenfassungen am Ende durchliest. Spätestens als von einer höheren Macht die Rede ist, war bei mir die Schmerzgrenze erreicht und ich habe das Buch endgültig abgebrochen.
Fazit:
"The Tools" ist ein Selbsthilfebuch, dessen Inhalt fast ausschliesslich aus Schein-Tiefsinn besteht und damit nichts anderes ist, als leeres Gerede. Das Buch liest sich so wie von einem dieser typisch amerikanischen Prediger, die auf der Bühne stehen und mit ihrem Geschwafel versuchen ihr (angebliches) Erfolgskonzept vor einem Publikum zu vermarkten. Seriös ist das, was dort drin steht, nicht. Ausserdem vermitteln die Autoren den Eindruck, als hätten sie die Tools selbst entwickelt. Tatsächlich haben sie sich aber einfach bloss irgendwelche seltsame Namen für bereits bestehende Techniken aus der Psychotherapie ausgedacht, die aber vielleicht nicht so reisserisch vermittelt werden, wie es in diesem Buch der Fall ist. Ich würde jedem Laien und auch jeder Fachperson von diesem Buch abraten. Es gibt deutlich hilfreichere Selbsthilfebücher auf dem Markt, die mehr als nur leere Worte enthalten. Mehr als ein Stern hat "The Tools" deshalb nicht verdient.
Was Mr. Stutz zu Beginn des Buches schreibt, klingt sehr vielversprechend. Es wird davon gesprochen, dass die beiden Herren durch ihre langjährige Erfahrung ein paar Tools entwickelt haben, die scheinbar jedes psychologische Problem lösen sollen. Diese Versprechung ist schon mal sehr weit hergeholt, denn auch wenn die meisten (psycho-)therapeutischen Methoden evidenzbasiert sind, wagt es keine Therapierichtung zu behaupten, dass man damit jedes Problem lösen kann. Man kann aber durchaus eine Reduzierung des Leidensdrucks versprechen.
Voller Wissensdurst wollte ich also die Geheimnisse der Psychotherapie entdecken. Doch so enthusiastisch ich das Buch begonnen habe, so schnell ist mein Interesse für den Inhalt auch wieder verflogen. Relativ bald wurde mir klar, dass das Buch sehr viel leeres Gerede enthält, das Mal hier und da mit (für mich teilweise sehr merkwürdigen) Patientengeschichten ergänzt wird. Die vielen Worte sollen vermutlich darüber hinwegtäuschen, dass es tatsächlich einen Inhalt gibt, der hier vermittelt werden soll. Spätestens nachdem man das Ende des Kapitels zum ersten Tool erreicht und sieht, dass jedes Tool kurz und knapp auf maximal 2 Seiten zusammengefasst werden kann, sollte es dem Leser dämmern, wie wenig Konkretes hier einem vermittelt wird. Das Gerede des Autors ist dabei so ausschweifend und unkonkret, dass es mir schleierhaft war, worum es eigentlich geht. Die versprochenen Tools waren ausserdem auch nichts anderes als bereits bestehende psychotherapeutische Techniken, denen die Autoren bloss einen einfacheren und reisserischen Namen gegeben haben. Wenn ich an meine Patienten denken, dann würden sie wohl die Augen verdrehen, wenn ich von ihnen verlangen würde, eine Technik anzuwenden, bei dem sie ihrem vermeintlichen Todfeind "aktive Liebe" entgegen bringen müssen. Der Grundgedanke ist ja nicht falsch, aber das was Mr. Stutz da mit seinem lächerlichen Vokabular zu erklären versucht, wird in der Psychotherapie schlicht und ergreifend als "radikale Akzeptanz" bezeichnet, was meiner Meinung nach auch ein viel treffender Begriff ist. Es würde jetzt allerdings zu weit führen, wenn ich jedem Tool die entsprechend offizielle Technik aus der Verhaltenstherapie o.ä. gegenüberstellen würde. Aber glaubt mir einfach, wenn ich sage, dass die beiden Psychotherapeuten das Rad nicht neu erfunden haben, sondern bekannte Techniken unter anderen Begriffen vermarkten. Dabei sind ihre Erläuterungen teilweise so seltsam, dass ich sie als Laie nur schwer umsetzen könnte, weil sie teilweise einfach übertrieben und lächerlich klingen.
Ich habe das Buch relativ bald einmal nur noch überflogen, weil für mich nichts Hilfreiches erläutert wurde und es reicht, wenn man sich die Kapitelzusammenfassungen am Ende durchliest. Spätestens als von einer höheren Macht die Rede ist, war bei mir die Schmerzgrenze erreicht und ich habe das Buch endgültig abgebrochen.
Fazit:
"The Tools" ist ein Selbsthilfebuch, dessen Inhalt fast ausschliesslich aus Schein-Tiefsinn besteht und damit nichts anderes ist, als leeres Gerede. Das Buch liest sich so wie von einem dieser typisch amerikanischen Prediger, die auf der Bühne stehen und mit ihrem Geschwafel versuchen ihr (angebliches) Erfolgskonzept vor einem Publikum zu vermarkten. Seriös ist das, was dort drin steht, nicht. Ausserdem vermitteln die Autoren den Eindruck, als hätten sie die Tools selbst entwickelt. Tatsächlich haben sie sich aber einfach bloss irgendwelche seltsame Namen für bereits bestehende Techniken aus der Psychotherapie ausgedacht, die aber vielleicht nicht so reisserisch vermittelt werden, wie es in diesem Buch der Fall ist. Ich würde jedem Laien und auch jeder Fachperson von diesem Buch abraten. Es gibt deutlich hilfreichere Selbsthilfebücher auf dem Markt, die mehr als nur leere Worte enthalten. Mehr als ein Stern hat "The Tools" deshalb nicht verdient.
November 23, 2020
I learned about this book through Personality Hacker. Its central premise is offering the how to psychotherapy's why. Just like there are tools to achieve specific ends in the world out there, so there are certain techniques that can be used to effectively drive change inside of us. The Tools proposes five esoteric techniques:
1. Reversal of Desire, or: instead of avoiding them, how to actively do the things we're scared of in order to expand our comfort zone and our lived experience.
2. Active Love, or how to escape loops of revenge and feelings of injustice by tapping into a much greater force and using it to rid oneself of toxicity. Really useful after getting riled up on social media.
3. Inner Authority, or how to feel empowered when expressing or even exposing yourself by powerfully embracing your shadow instead of shoddily hiding it. Yes, everyone can tell when you're doing it.
4. The Grateful Flow, or how to use the power of gratitude to ground oneself, be OK with oneself and the world.
5. Jeopardy, or how to remind yourself to actually use the other four tools by keeping the consequences of future regret and squandered opportunity squarely in your awareness.
Each of these tools involves visualization through which you can see immediate results, but they're really meant to be practiced regularly until they become habits for life. Even though it took me just about a week to take my time with The Tools on Kindle, I liked it so much I actually bought a physical version too to properly study and highlight.
Highly quotable book I would recommend to anyone who enjoys personal development and exploration and is looking for practical advice and ritual to build habits around.
1. Reversal of Desire, or: instead of avoiding them, how to actively do the things we're scared of in order to expand our comfort zone and our lived experience.
2. Active Love, or how to escape loops of revenge and feelings of injustice by tapping into a much greater force and using it to rid oneself of toxicity. Really useful after getting riled up on social media.
3. Inner Authority, or how to feel empowered when expressing or even exposing yourself by powerfully embracing your shadow instead of shoddily hiding it. Yes, everyone can tell when you're doing it.
4. The Grateful Flow, or how to use the power of gratitude to ground oneself, be OK with oneself and the world.
5. Jeopardy, or how to remind yourself to actually use the other four tools by keeping the consequences of future regret and squandered opportunity squarely in your awareness.
Each of these tools involves visualization through which you can see immediate results, but they're really meant to be practiced regularly until they become habits for life. Even though it took me just about a week to take my time with The Tools on Kindle, I liked it so much I actually bought a physical version too to properly study and highlight.
Highly quotable book I would recommend to anyone who enjoys personal development and exploration and is looking for practical advice and ritual to build habits around.
April 9, 2015
Make that leap, use this book to exponentially improve your life. This book gives you practical ways to conquer some of life's biggest issues! I LOVED this book. In fact, this is one of the most important books I have ever read!
*view problems as "portals to enter the world of untapped potential" and see problems' purpose as primary avenues to growth
* simple--but not necessarily easy--techniques called tools which change not only attitudes, but behaviors as well.
for those--
-If you ever find yourself in a rut
-If you, like me, have been in psychotherapy but still have bad habits that hold you back
-If you are in a creative field, or want to be
-If you ever feel uncomfortable speaking to people (one or a thousand)
-If you wish you could make bolder moves with your life
-If you have unhealthy relationships
-If you worry about things to a point where it stifles you
-If you want to get things done but somehow don't
-If you know someone who fits any of the above
WHAT ARE THE TOOLS?
1. Reversal of Desire: A way to overcome avoidance of painful or difficult situations.
2. Active Love: A way to quell anger, prevent yourself perseverating on injustice, or prepare yourself for confronting a difficult person
3. Inner Authority: A way to overcome your insecurities and communicate from the heart.
4. The Grateful Flow: A way to rid yourself of overwhelming, negative thoughts that hold you back and give you back your sense of control and deal with anger in the moment.
5. Jeopardy: A way to solidify your willpower so that you will continue to use The Tools. The Tools are not a one-shot deal. They require an ongoing effort. If you stray off the path you will backslide to where you came from. Tool five keeps you on track.
*view problems as "portals to enter the world of untapped potential" and see problems' purpose as primary avenues to growth
* simple--but not necessarily easy--techniques called tools which change not only attitudes, but behaviors as well.
for those--
-If you ever find yourself in a rut
-If you, like me, have been in psychotherapy but still have bad habits that hold you back
-If you are in a creative field, or want to be
-If you ever feel uncomfortable speaking to people (one or a thousand)
-If you wish you could make bolder moves with your life
-If you have unhealthy relationships
-If you worry about things to a point where it stifles you
-If you want to get things done but somehow don't
-If you know someone who fits any of the above
WHAT ARE THE TOOLS?
1. Reversal of Desire: A way to overcome avoidance of painful or difficult situations.
2. Active Love: A way to quell anger, prevent yourself perseverating on injustice, or prepare yourself for confronting a difficult person
3. Inner Authority: A way to overcome your insecurities and communicate from the heart.
4. The Grateful Flow: A way to rid yourself of overwhelming, negative thoughts that hold you back and give you back your sense of control and deal with anger in the moment.
5. Jeopardy: A way to solidify your willpower so that you will continue to use The Tools. The Tools are not a one-shot deal. They require an ongoing effort. If you stray off the path you will backslide to where you came from. Tool five keeps you on track.
April 3, 2013
First of all, if you are not a Believer, you're going to have difficulties with this book and the tools found within. The authors do a kind of sneaky-Pete maneuver, sucking you in via the secular self-help standpoint, shifting into a hard-core spiritual stance about 3/4 of the way in. I wasn't surprised; all five of the tools are variations on principles arrived at by various spiritual traditions for the pursuit of a happy, meaningful, fulfilled life, i.e. one of service and gratitude.
Secondly, what probably works well in therapy—i.e., with regular, ongoing support—is going to be far harder to accomplish on your own, without help. Which is the case with any program of self-overhaul, of course. But with with more pedestrian changes—fitness, diet, physical skills, etc.—there's a ton of available routes for support; not so much with this.
Finally, I just flat-out disagreed with one tool, possibly two, as a sane method for change. The Reversal of Desire—basically, a way to kick your own ass out of torpor and into action—is mean. MEAN. I get that at a certain point, we need to screw our courage to the sticking place to, uh, murder Duncan. Or just to get shit done. But there's a big difference between putting on your Big-Girl Pants and whacking yourself on the bottom, even if it's all metaphorical. I feel somewhat similarly about the Jeopardy tool, which involves imagining yourself on your loser deathbed to motivate you now.
I waver between three and four stars here. There's a lot to like about the plan outlined here, and it's going to be exactly right for a sliver of the population. Don't want to discourage anyone from finding the help they need. I may even use one or two of the gentler tools. But I don't see myself adopting this soup-to-nuts.
Secondly, what probably works well in therapy—i.e., with regular, ongoing support—is going to be far harder to accomplish on your own, without help. Which is the case with any program of self-overhaul, of course. But with with more pedestrian changes—fitness, diet, physical skills, etc.—there's a ton of available routes for support; not so much with this.
Finally, I just flat-out disagreed with one tool, possibly two, as a sane method for change. The Reversal of Desire—basically, a way to kick your own ass out of torpor and into action—is mean. MEAN. I get that at a certain point, we need to screw our courage to the sticking place to, uh, murder Duncan. Or just to get shit done. But there's a big difference between putting on your Big-Girl Pants and whacking yourself on the bottom, even if it's all metaphorical. I feel somewhat similarly about the Jeopardy tool, which involves imagining yourself on your loser deathbed to motivate you now.
I waver between three and four stars here. There's a lot to like about the plan outlined here, and it's going to be exactly right for a sliver of the population. Don't want to discourage anyone from finding the help they need. I may even use one or two of the gentler tools. But I don't see myself adopting this soup-to-nuts.
March 26, 2023
Giving this 3 stars because although I know it's a non-fiction book which aren't always the most engaging I feel it was so not engaging to the point that I wanted to skim read a lot of it lol, however, some really great takeaways and practical tools to use in everyday life with cute little stick men diagrams and solutions to every query you may have about each tool.
July 4, 2013
I want my money back. I shouldn't have been a sucker and bought this. Basically this "psychotherapist" has repackaged a couple of Buddhist meditation techniques, a popular positive psychology technique. They've then sprinkled it with some 12-step higher power talk and come up with a so called new psychotherapy method....please, give me strength. Sigh. It has been read but not enjoyed nor do i feel enlightened, but I am sure the authors are reaping the financial benefits of this tripe...so more fool me.
Read
December 2, 2022read this book yeaaaars ago (forgot when, probably before I created a Goodreads account because I didn't log it) and I still have my handwritten notes about it. I was reminded of this because of Jonah Hill's docu about his therapist who shared some "tools" and concepts like "maze" and "shadow" (which are all mentioned in the book). when I went to GR to look for this, I realized that the psychiatrist is LITERALLY ONE OF THE AUTHORS (Phil Stutz).
I'm logging my notes here tbh mainly for me if ever I lose my notes somehow, at least I still have a reference here. but hey something might interest you, I suggest you read this or watch Stutz.
THE TOOLS by Stutz & Michels
(1) Reversal of Desire (Force of Forward Motion)
- when: pain you're avoiding
- do:
* demand pain "I love pain" (cloud)
* "pain sets me free"
(2) Active Love (Outflow)
- when: someone angers you
- do:
* concentration, transmission, penetration
* don't get stuck inside the maze
(3) Inner Authority (Force of Self-expression)
- when: difficult to express yourself/connect to people
- "shadow" - negative habits
- do:
* focus on shadow, unbreakable bond
* "LISTEN!"
(4) Grateful Flow (Gratefulness)
- when: worry, self-hatred, any negative thoughts
- do:
* visit specific things that you are thankful for
* feel gratefulness, energy from ❤️
* chest will soften and open
(5) Jeopardy (Willpower)
- when: can't use tool, feel you don't need tools
- do:
* imagine yourself lying on your deathbed
* older self: "Don't waste the present!"
I'm logging my notes here tbh mainly for me if ever I lose my notes somehow, at least I still have a reference here. but hey something might interest you, I suggest you read this or watch Stutz.
THE TOOLS by Stutz & Michels
(1) Reversal of Desire (Force of Forward Motion)
- when: pain you're avoiding
- do:
* demand pain "I love pain" (cloud)
* "pain sets me free"
(2) Active Love (Outflow)
- when: someone angers you
- do:
* concentration, transmission, penetration
* don't get stuck inside the maze
(3) Inner Authority (Force of Self-expression)
- when: difficult to express yourself/connect to people
- "shadow" - negative habits
- do:
* focus on shadow, unbreakable bond
* "LISTEN!"
(4) Grateful Flow (Gratefulness)
- when: worry, self-hatred, any negative thoughts
- do:
* visit specific things that you are thankful for
* feel gratefulness, energy from ❤️
* chest will soften and open
(5) Jeopardy (Willpower)
- when: can't use tool, feel you don't need tools
- do:
* imagine yourself lying on your deathbed
* older self: "Don't waste the present!"
January 6, 2023
Решил прочитать эту книгу после просмотра документального фильма Stutz, который снял Джона Хилл. Фильм, кстати, отличный. Главный герой фильма, он же автор этой книги - известный психотерапевт Фил Статз, который работает со звездными клиентами, в основном из Голливуда.
О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Как мы занимаемся физическими упражнениями для поддержания нашего тела в порядке, так нам нужны и инструменты для нашего ментального состояния. Phil Stutz дает нам набор таких подходов. Всего их пять. По мнению автора, мы сможем решить с помощью этих инструментов большинство своих психологических проблем.
Мне показалось, что в книге много упования на магическую силу инструментов, которые предлагает нам Фил Статз. Понятно, что психология это не наука, но всё же в книге слишком много отсылок к «высшим силам».
ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
Ваш настрой и понимание своей психологической проблемы не смогут её разрешить. Одних разговоров с психологом недостаточно. Нужны инструменты, которые дают вам конкретные шаги и покажут, что нужно сделать, чтобы изменить ситуацию. Решить психологическую проблему можно только с помощью активного действия.
ЗАЧЕМ ЧИТАТЬ ЭТУ КНИГУ?
Чтобы узнать еще пять инструментов для решения психологических проблем в жизни.
МЫСЛИ И ВЫВОДЫ ИЗ КНИГИ:
- Если я продолжаю переживать из-за события, которое уже произошло, то сразу же становлюсь жертвой. Что случилось, то уже не вернуть. Надо выработать свое отношение к произошедшему и идти дальше.
- Есть гигиена тела, а есть гигиена души. Быть взрослым - это заставлять себя соблюдать не только гигиену тела, но и каждый день заниматься гигиеной своей души.
- Люди так устроены, что в большинстве случаев только страх какого-то будущего события может заставить нас действовать и меняться. Это как наступающий экзамен в школе, дедлайн на работе и понятные проблемы со здоровьем. Выходит, что надо учиться искусственно включать этот страх и визуализировать картину будущего, чтобы приступить к активным действиям.
ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
- Инструмент оценки текущей ситуации из точки моего будущего.
ЕЩЕ НА ЭТУ ТЕМУ:
Джордан Питерсон "12 правил жизни"
О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Как мы занимаемся физическими упражнениями для поддержания нашего тела в порядке, так нам нужны и инструменты для нашего ментального состояния. Phil Stutz дает нам набор таких подходов. Всего их пять. По мнению автора, мы сможем решить с помощью этих инструментов большинство своих психологических проблем.
Мне показалось, что в книге много упования на магическую силу инструментов, которые предлагает нам Фил Статз. Понятно, что психология это не наука, но всё же в книге слишком много отсылок к «высшим силам».
ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
Ваш настрой и понимание своей психологической проблемы не смогут её разрешить. Одних разговоров с психологом недостаточно. Нужны инструменты, которые дают вам конкретные шаги и покажут, что нужно сделать, чтобы изменить ситуацию. Решить психологическую проблему можно только с помощью активного действия.
ЗАЧЕМ ЧИТАТЬ ЭТУ КНИГУ?
Чтобы узнать еще пять инструментов для решения психологических проблем в жизни.
МЫСЛИ И ВЫВОДЫ ИЗ КНИГИ:
- Если я продолжаю переживать из-за события, которое уже произошло, то сразу же становлюсь жертвой. Что случилось, то уже не вернуть. Надо выработать свое отношение к произошедшему и идти дальше.
- Есть гигиена тела, а есть гигиена души. Быть взрослым - это заставлять себя соблюдать не только гигиену тела, но и каждый день заниматься гигиеной своей души.
- Люди так устроены, что в большинстве случаев только страх какого-то будущего события может заставить нас действовать и меняться. Это как наступающий экзамен в школе, дедлайн на работе и понятные проблемы со здоровьем. Выходит, что надо учиться искусственно включать этот страх и визуализировать картину будущего, чтобы приступить к активным действиям.
ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
- Инструмент оценки текущей ситуации из точки моего будущего.
ЕЩЕ НА ЭТУ ТЕМУ:
Джордан Питерсон "12 правил жизни"
November 18, 2012
I was really interested by the ideas is this book, mostly because they are extensions of a lot of things I've been thinking about lately. The section about consumers vs creators particularly hit home, as lately I've felt especially beat down by the barrage of ads every single place I turn in life and the realization that their sole purpose is to create dissatisfaction.
To be honest, part of me feels stupid revealing that I've read a "self help" book. Mostly, they are just another thing to market to the people of a broken culture, another promise of betterment or happiness that is external and superficial and fleeting. This book seems the opposite of that. The authors discuss practical methods for changing thought and behavior in response to relatable problems that we all have. They later go on to extrapolate each of those methods in terms of society as a whole, with the idea that we will never be able to address the huge challenges that we face without individuals taking responsibility for themselves and realizing their connections to each other. One of the thoughts that often sets me right on the Nihilism Express is that even if I could make positive change in my own life, that there are still so many people out there who are too selfish or lazy or ignorant to even think about needing to make the sorts of change that absolutely need to happen for us to not a) continue destroying the Earth and b) continue destroying ourselves and each other with hate. I think, as the authors posit, that approaching new ideas with an open mind and stopping letting fear rule our every action and looking at ourselves honestly and understanding our own motivations for what we do and being grateful for what we have rather than letting the marketing industry tell us all the things we need and connecting to each other and the force of life are all probably the most vitally important things we can do with our time. This book is a well-articulated look at the need to do those things and some pretty good ideas about how to start doing them.
To be honest, part of me feels stupid revealing that I've read a "self help" book. Mostly, they are just another thing to market to the people of a broken culture, another promise of betterment or happiness that is external and superficial and fleeting. This book seems the opposite of that. The authors discuss practical methods for changing thought and behavior in response to relatable problems that we all have. They later go on to extrapolate each of those methods in terms of society as a whole, with the idea that we will never be able to address the huge challenges that we face without individuals taking responsibility for themselves and realizing their connections to each other. One of the thoughts that often sets me right on the Nihilism Express is that even if I could make positive change in my own life, that there are still so many people out there who are too selfish or lazy or ignorant to even think about needing to make the sorts of change that absolutely need to happen for us to not a) continue destroying the Earth and b) continue destroying ourselves and each other with hate. I think, as the authors posit, that approaching new ideas with an open mind and stopping letting fear rule our every action and looking at ourselves honestly and understanding our own motivations for what we do and being grateful for what we have rather than letting the marketing industry tell us all the things we need and connecting to each other and the force of life are all probably the most vitally important things we can do with our time. This book is a well-articulated look at the need to do those things and some pretty good ideas about how to start doing them.
February 2, 2023
Irredeemably terrible nonsense
January 12, 2023
قررت أقرأ الكتاب بعد الوثائقي بتاع جونا هيل مع الدكتور النفسي فيل ستاتز ( مؤلف الكتاب ).
ستاتز شخص رائع وجرئ عاش حياة صعبة خصوصاً بعد تشخيصه بمرض باركنسون واللي أدي لإكتساب الوقت المتبقي ف حياته أهمية أكبر وكمان انعزاله عن العالم نتيجة إرهاقه المستمر من المرض أدي لتطوير أفكاره وأدواته لمساعدة المرضي.
ستاتز في الوثائقي بيشرح أن هناك ثلاث جوانب للواقع لا هروب منهم وهم الألم، عدم اليقين والعمل الدؤوب ويجب علينا تقبل وجوده وليس محاولة التخلص منهم.
ف الكتاب الرائع بيشرح ستاتز بعض الأدوات المفيدة للتعامل مع التوتر والقلق والخوف والعضب والأفكار السلبية تجاه النفس والحياة، ولكن إستخدام الأدوات يتطلب الإيمان بمصدر أعلي من الأنسان يعمل علي تيسير حياته بما هو فيه خير له، الوعي بالمصدر وابقاء النفس علي إتصال بيه -عن طريق الأدوات - هو الطريق لحياة ذات معني، ولكن لو انت غير مؤمن بوجود مصدر أعلي ؟ ستاتز بيشرح أن الإيمان بالأدوات كافي للعمل بيها ولكن تنفيذها بإستمرار خلال أظلم لحظات الحياة هو اللي هيجيب نتيجة، الجميل ف الكتاب وبغض النظر عن الأفكار المفيدة هو أن ستاتز لم يتطرق لمحاولة إقناعك بفكرة المصدر الأعلي، وأن كل ما يهم هو أن نتيجة إستخدام الأدوات بإستمرار ف حياته وحياة مرضاه كانت مرضية بالنسبة ليهم.
ستاتز شخص رائع وجرئ عاش حياة صعبة خصوصاً بعد تشخيصه بمرض باركنسون واللي أدي لإكتساب الوقت المتبقي ف حياته أهمية أكبر وكمان انعزاله عن العالم نتيجة إرهاقه المستمر من المرض أدي لتطوير أفكاره وأدواته لمساعدة المرضي.
ستاتز في الوثائقي بيشرح أن هناك ثلاث جوانب للواقع لا هروب منهم وهم الألم، عدم اليقين والعمل الدؤوب ويجب علينا تقبل وجوده وليس محاولة التخلص منهم.
ف الكتاب الرائع بيشرح ستاتز بعض الأدوات المفيدة للتعامل مع التوتر والقلق والخوف والعضب والأفكار السلبية تجاه النفس والحياة، ولكن إستخدام الأدوات يتطلب الإيمان بمصدر أعلي من الأنسان يعمل علي تيسير حياته بما هو فيه خير له، الوعي بالمصدر وابقاء النفس علي إتصال بيه -عن طريق الأدوات - هو الطريق لحياة ذات معني، ولكن لو انت غير مؤمن بوجود مصدر أعلي ؟ ستاتز بيشرح أن الإيمان بالأدوات كافي للعمل بيها ولكن تنفيذها بإستمرار خلال أظلم لحظات الحياة هو اللي هيجيب نتيجة، الجميل ف الكتاب وبغض النظر عن الأفكار المفيدة هو أن ستاتز لم يتطرق لمحاولة إقناعك بفكرة المصدر الأعلي، وأن كل ما يهم هو أن نتيجة إستخدام الأدوات بإستمرار ف حياته وحياة مرضاه كانت مرضية بالنسبة ليهم.
November 30, 2022
I wish I could give this zero stars
December 28, 2023
As a counselor-in-training, i have been indulging in self-help books and diverse perspectives amongst therapeutic approaches. In the beginning of Tools, I felt discouraged in the sense that this seemed to be a “pull yourself up by your boot straps” type of approach, but am now so glad that I continued to read because chapter 5 changed things for me. Utilizing the tool of the grateful flow allowed me to remove myself from a negative headspace in order to find balance in the moments i felt the most gratitude. Stutz and Michels explain that where you feel gratitude in your physical body, the chest, is where you are able to harvest energy and gratitude from the “source”. As a non-religious individual, I appreciated this inclusive approach because it indicates that although this may feel like a higher “god”, it doesn’t have to be. Regardless of if you agree with Stutz’s theories, i would still encourage this book to anyone to either give help or give different perspective.
February 11, 2023
Interesting book. Not like most of the other self-improvement books out there. I had mixed feeling about it. It feels like a Christian book but without any mentions of Christ. Something like mechanical extraction of the core values of Christianity. Not without value and power, but strangely lacking something. Yet the "tools" provided are valuable. Maybe not their application as I believe we all have our own ways of defining or feeling what the author calls "higher powers". But the book is an excellent guide to knowing thyself better and putting that knowledge into action.
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