What do you think?
Rate this book
225 pages, Hardcover
First published July 20, 2021
‘the ambiguity of the image itself...not a painting of temptation, but rather one of harassment and intimidation….The painting operated around a schism….the man, who believed the scene to be one of ardor and seduction, and the woman, who have been plunged into a state of fear and humiliation.’
there were great chasms beneath words, between two or sometimes more languages, that could open up without warning. As interpreters it was our job to throw down planks across these gaps.
This was not aided by the fact that interpretation can be profoundly disorienting, you can be so caught up in the minutiae of the act, in trying to maintain utmost fidelity to the words being spoken first by the subject and then by yourself, that you do not necessarily apprehend the sense of the sentences themselves: you literally do not know what you are saying. Language loses its meaning.
As I looked down at the witness, it prickled through me, the strangeness of speaking her words for her, the wrongness of using this I that was hers and not mine, this word that was not sufficiently capacious.
I turned back to the canvas, and it occurred to me then that only a woman could have made this image. This was not a painting of temptation, but rather one of harassment and intimidation, a scene that could be taking place right now in nearly anyplace in the world. The painting operated around a schism, it represented two irreconcilable subjective positions: the man, who believed the scene to be one of ardor and seduction, and the woman, who had been plunged into a state of fear and humiliation. That schism, I now realized, was the true inconsistency animating the canvas, and the true object of Leyster’s gaze.
The idea was almost impossibly personal, and I realized the notion of such a sustained human gaze was outside the realm of experience today. For that reason, the paintings opened up a dimension that you did not normally see in photographs, in these paintings you could feel the weight of time passing. I thought that was why, as I stood before a painting of a young girl in half-light, there was something that was both guarded and vulnerable in her gaze. It was not the contradiction of a single instant, but rather it was as if the painter had caught her in two separate states of emotion, two different moods, and managed to contain them within the single image. There would have been a multitude of such instants captured in the canvas, between the time she first sat down before the painter and the time she rose, neck and upper body stiff, from the final sitting. That layering—in effect a kind of temporal blurring, or simultaneity—was perhaps ultimately what distinguished painting from photography. I wondered if that was the reason why contemporary painting seemed to me so much flatter, to lack the mysterious depth of these works, because so many painters now worked from photographs.
a narrative becomes persuasive not through complexity but convictionThis book was listed in Barack's best of list. Roxane Gay praised it as well. Or at least, she gave it 4 stars. These are people whose book lists and recommendations I vibe with so you can imagine my surprise when I found myself rather ambivalent about it.
I had lived with my slow-moving grief for so long that I had ceased to notice itAs she navigates life in the Hague, she makes observations. Some astute. Some eye-opening. Some thought-provoking. For instance, there could be a lot of socio-cultural commentary on privilege,
The three men were almost certainly immigrants, possibly Turkish and Surinamese. Meanwhile, their labor was necessitated by the heritage aesthetic of the city, not to mention the carelessness of a wealthy population that dropped its cigarette butts onto the pavement without a thought, when the designated receptacle was only a few feet away, I now saw that there were dozens of cigarette butts on the ground directly below the ashtrays. It was only an anecdote. But it was one example of how the city’s veneer of civility was constantly giving way, in places it was barely there at all.Our protagonist makes such marked notes of the city she now finds herself residing in.
Even from the inside...what do you really know of your own marriage? One day you realize you are living with a stranger.When it became known that I was single, certain suitors made their admirations known. And I responded without the marked hostility or anxiety that previously plagued me. I was surprised by my own openness and entertaining the possibility of dating just for fun. Something which is alien to me. Primarily because I am a chronic loner and am about as approachable as a porcupine. But this recent liberty from the shackles of a relationship have my edges softer. My quills blurred. That's not say it's open season, I don't care for unwelcome attention. But I digress, the change in me wasn't even something I had bothered to articulate but again Captain Observer to the rescue,
the prospect offered by a new relationship, the opportunity to be someone other than yourself.Remember our narrator works at the International Criminal Court. And when we start getting into the nitty gritty of her work does the story lose me. Not because of the subject matter, but because this story decided to pussyfoot.
My job is to make the space between languages as small as possible.
I would not obfuscate the meaning of what he had done, of these words that he deemed so insufficient, my job was the ensure that there would be no escape route between languages.
I thought of Adriaan, it occurred to me that this was the world he had inhabited with Gaby. They would have circulated through this room with ease, I was sure that between them they would have known most of the people in attendance, in some ways it was their world even more than it was Jana’s. I felt a rush of fear crowd into me. I was not of this place.
I realized I had been trying to occupy the apartment in as discreet a manner as possible, as if to illustrate to Adriaan upon his return how easily I would slip into the fabric of his life, how little disturbance I would cause. To understand this was humiliating. I was a woman waiting for a lover, dressed in obscene lingerie, body arrayed on the bed in a pose of hopeful seduction.
I had been complicit in my own erasure.
Where is home?
My family’s now in Singapore. Before that I lived in New York.
I thought—I want to go home. I want to be in a place that feels like home. Where that was, I did not know.