Artifice, thy name is Gene Wolfe.
I’ve been wanting to que up this review for a while, and in the same way an intricately made, overabundant meal can overwhelm even a voracious appetite, I don’t know quite where to start.
Boobs. Let’s start with boobs.
Because nothing is better than a veneer of classical language, vaunted literary stances, and a prescription for a Science Fiction classic better than a man writing about boobs on and off (and how women are and aren’t appealing to him) for 409 pages.
And you know, if a woman were to write over 400 pages about dicks, it wouldn’t be called a literature classic. It’d be called 50 Shades of Grey. Reader, you can tell where I stand by now.
Buckle. Up. We’re going to Gene Town.
And since today is a day off, I’m not going to go through the entire book. Sorry, boss says no. (I’m the boss.)
I *will* however start at page 348, the main character Severian says…."Those long legs, so slender below the knees, so rounded to bursting above them, were inadequate to bear much weight beyond that of her own body; her jutting breasts were in constant danger of having their nipples crushed between lumber or smeared with paint.”
Gene, really? Like, really? Because old-timey bras were a thing. Society in this book can build a castle, build a ship, learn to read BUT THEY DON’T KNOW TO TIE CLOTH AROUND BOOBS. AT ALL. OK. GOT IT.
And at that point, you’re not just writing dumb. You are writing your female characters to *be* dumb. Anyone with breasts knows (especially if those knockers get in the way) that finding a way to bind, tie, or otherwise address boobage *will* happen. They won’t be leaning over logs, going “Golly gee, Mister! My ripe ol’ tits got paint all over them! What ever will I do??”
(As soon as I wrote that, I realized there must be Gene Wolfe fanfic erotica out there somewhere. Terrifying.)
Page 350: “I wished, not to comfort her loneliness as I had wished to comfort Valeria’s, nor to find expression for an aching love like the love I had felt for Thecla, nor to protect her as I wished to protect Dorcas; but to shame and punish her, to destroy her self possession, to fill her eyes with tears and tear her hair as one burns the hair of corpses to torment the ghosts that have fled them.”
Anyway, we get a carousel of women: Agia, Dorcas, Jolenta, Thea, Theclas, Valeria. And they all come with agonizingly sexually infantile descriptions. He beats some, cheats on others, but fucks most of them. LET US FORGE ONWARDS.
Page 379: “As we rounded a turn in the path we saw her running toward us, knees together as if her legs were hampered by her generous thighs, her arms crossed over her breasts to steady them.”
Page 383, another sexual foray: “So good” she said, “So smooth.” And then (though we had coupled before), “Won’t I be too small?”, like a child.
Simmer on that “like a child.” Moving on.
Page 384: “Yet it was not Dorcas I desire; I had enjoyed her only a short time ago, and though I fully believe she loved me, I could not be certain she would have given herself so readily if she had not more than suspected I had entered Jolenta on the afternoon before the play…Nor did I desire Jolenta, who lay upon her side and snored. Instead I wanted them both, and Thecla, and the nameless meretrix who feigned to be Thecla…and her friend who had taken the part of Thea, and Agia, Valerai, Morwenna, and a thousand more.”
391: “Love and desire are said to be no more than cousins, and I had found it so until I walked with Jolenta’s flaccid arm about my neck. But it is not really true. Rather, the love of women was the dark side of the feminine ideal I had nourished or myself on dreams of Valeria and Thecla and Agia, of Dorcas and Jolenta and Vodalus’s leman of the heart shaped face and cooing voice, the woman I now knew to be Thecla’s half-sister Thea.”
I get it, women are bad and trapped you with their horrible devil pussy portals. You now live in existential angst. There, there. It'll be ok.
So, while I get that Wolfe is writing from a *character’s* perspective – and not necessarily his own, it’s not widely acknowledged that inherent sexual bias is present in both writer and character. Because that’s not fun, not popular, and it’s certainly easier to handwave away that this character is baaaad, so baaaaaad, because you know, that’s just who he is.
You know what’s also bad?
Burnt pizza and Gene Wolfe. Because you don’t have to tell me, over and over, AND OVER AND OVER that this character is morally grey because he gets excited to rape, then regretful he can’t, or he casually smacks women he desires around.
I get it after the first several shitty times. Oh, and on page whatever it is, a torturer rapes women with a giant dong. Because torturers, amiright?
And to those who consider this to be a classic, and to those who are mocked because they “don’t get it” – don’t “get” this barf bag of words, don’t buy into that bullshit gender bias dressed up as literary work, well, I leave you with this.
Page 375: “She cupped her huge breasts with her hands. ‘But I don’t think I’m well suited to running, do you?’”