Personality: What Makes You the Way You Are
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Personality: What Makes You the Way You Are Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 457 ratings
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Written by Daniel Nettle - author of the popular book Happiness - this brief volume takes the listener on an exhilarating tour of what modern science can tell us about human personality. Revealing that our personalities stem from our biological makeup, Nettle looks at the latest findings from genetics and brain science, and considers the evolutionary origins and consequences of different personalities. The heart of the book sheds light on the "big five": Extraversion, Neuroticism, Conscientious, Agreeableness, and Openness. Using a stimulating blend of true-life stories and scientific research, Nettle explains why we have something deep and consistent within us that determines the choices we make and situations we bring about. He addresses such questions as: Why do members of the same family differ so markedly in their natures? What is the best personality to have - a bold one or a shy one, an aggressive one or a meek one? And are you stuck with your personality, or can you change it?

Full of human wisdom as well as scientific insight, this book illuminates the pluses and minuses of personality, offering practical advice about living with the nature you were born with. It even includes a questionnaire so that you can assess yourself.

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  1. Listening Length
    5 hours and 43 minutes
  2. Author
    Daniel Nettle
  3. Narrator
    Matthew Waterson
  4. Audible release date
    June 23, 2020
  5. Language
    English
  6. Publisher
    HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books
  7. ASIN
    B089QY77SJ
  8. Version
    Unabridged
  9. Program Type
    Audiobook
  10. See all details
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Product details

Listening Length 5 hours and 43 minutes
Author Daniel Nettle
Narrator Matthew Waterson
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date June 23, 2020
Publisher HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B089QY77SJ
Best Sellers Rank #196,897 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#546 in European Literature (Audible Books & Originals)
#589 in Medieval Literary Criticism (Books)
#688 in Literary History & Criticism

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4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
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Yes, I'm picky when it comes to books I order. I happen to collect them so when I pay for a new book I expect it to be in pristine condition and this came with a huge, gray skid mark across the cover.
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Top reviews from the United States

Alexander N.
5.0 out of 5 stars Your Personality is Genetically-Determined
Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2010
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This book is different from most books on personality development because it looks at differences in personality acquirement from an evolutionary perspective. Why should people have different personalities? The reason, it states, is that at different times during our evolutionary history certain personality styles have been more advantageous to have as compared to others. For example, sometimes it would have been advantageous to be neurotic and act in a cautious manner, but sometimes it would have been advantageous to be an extrovert and act daringly.

Once a certain type of personality style evolved during the course of human evolution, the genes responsible for that personality style were maintained in the gene pool (the entire genetic composition of a species) by natural selection, if indeed that personality style was advantageous to the survival of the individuals who possessed it. For example, why should certain people have a neurotic personality style when, at least from a social point of view, neuroticism is not associated with having a winning or advantageous personality? The answer is that the way neurotic people behave has been beneficial to their survival (or from an evolutionary perspective, the way neurotic personalities behave at certain times has caused them to have more offsprings during the course of evolution and outcompete other individuals with a different personality styles who may not have had as many offsprings).

The above assertion is based on the concept of "fluctuating selection". From a behavioral perspective, during the course of evolution (of various species on earth), natural selection does not constantly favor the same type of individuals who behave a certain way; if it did, all individuals in that species eventually would behave the same way. The way that the natural selection works [or the way that it picks individuals to represent their genome (the genetic composition of each individual) in the next generation] fluctuates due to environmental conditions. For example, sometimes it would have been advantageous to wonder off a long distance from the base camp to hunt animals, the way an extrovert might do things, because the human predators were low in number, and there was a little chance to encounter them. However, some other times it would have been better to hunt around the base camp, the way a neurotic may act, since there were a large number of human predators around. During the latter time, if the extroverts were acting the way that they usually do, they may perish (and not have any opportunity to reproduce). From the above discussion, we can conclude that because natural selection has been fluctuating, it maintains many different types of behaviors and personalities in human populations.

Another conclusion is that personalities have a genetic basis rather than an environmental one. This has been supported by identical twin studies. When behavior scientist would like to distinguish whether a trait has a genetic or environmental basis, identical twins are used. The reason is that identical twins have identical genomes so if a trait is different among them it can be attributed to the possibility that they had a different environment. Often, in genetic-behavioral studies, identical twins that were raised in different families (and had no contact with each other) are used because the experimenter wants to know if they behave differently because they grew up in different families and environments. The so-called "identical twins reared apart" experiments that have been conducted so far mostly indicate that personality styles are actually genetic since the twins that are raised apart still have the same personality.

How can environment not have any effect on personality development? The whole field of analytical psychology is based on the assumption that it is your parents and environment that have shaped your personality and if you can understand your environment in the past, you can understand your personality better and that would serve as a basis to cognitive, emotional, or behavioral change, if such is required. However, the above conclusion with the twins does not mean that you cannot change your personality once you understand yourself better, but it does mean that your genetics determines your personality not your environment. That is still a conclusion that does not make sense. What about all the experiments that do show that environment have a drastic influence on personality development, not to mention our own personal experiences with our environment that we have assumed have shaped our personalities. I think it is still too soon to conclude anything from the above twin experiment. Maybe the effect of the environment was somehow lost due to the twin populations that were supposedly chosen randomly or the way the experiments were designed. I think we should wait to draw conclusions after further studies have been conducted the may clear the above results.

The rest of the book concentrates on explaining the five-factor model of personality. This personality model was based on a statistical method called factor analysis. Research scientist studying personality took thousands of adjectives and words that describe different personality traits and saw that using statistical correlation they are able to place these personality traits into only five major personality style categories. In other words, they saw that many of the personality traits can be correlated with each other, are redundant, and describing the same personality style. For example, they saw that the personality traits such as outgoing, social, talkative, competitive, enjoys a lot of sex and romance, interested in travel could be all correlated with behaviors that a person who is extraverted would exhibit, thus they made "extraversion" into one of the five personality style categories.

The five personality styles and their description are:

1- Extraversion: A personality style possessed by someone who is usually enthusiastic, energetic, talkative, outgoing, adventurous, risk-taker, outwardly focused, loud and talkative, self-confident, very interested in sex and romance, a leader, active in sports, ambitious, competitive, usually looking for fame, fortune, and status, interested in travel and leisurely pursuits, and impulsive and spontaneous. Generally, an extravert has many positive emotions and is usually optimistic.
2- Neuroticism: A personality style possessed by someone who is usually emotionally reactive, a worrier, prone to stress, anxiety, and depression, not emotionally stable, insecure, inwardly-focused, sensitive, feeling guilty, aloof, quiet, and self-conscious and shy. Generally, a neurotic person has many negative emotions and is usually pessimistic.
3- Conscientious: A personality style possessed by someone who is usually organized and likes order, self-disciplined, detail-oriented, a planner, careful, achievement-oriented, self-directed, dutiful, and controlling. Conscientious individual may have a tendency for obsessive-compulsive disorder.
4- Agreeableness: A personality style possessed by someone who is usually cooperative, trusting, empathetic, compassionate, friendly, generous, helpful, willing to compromise, and optimistic.
5- Openness: A personality style possessed by someone who is usually imaginative, inventive and creative, curious, art-enthusiast, seeker of various experiences, aware of their feelings, self-reflective, eccentric in some views, and a user of complex words.

It is important to mention that individuals often possess all of the five personality styles but to different degrees. It is very rare that a person could be described by only one personality style.
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Megan
4.0 out of 5 stars Maybe determinists kind of have a point
Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2024
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In Personality, we learn about personality through the lens of the Big 5: extraversion, neuroticism, conscientiousness, openness, and agreeableness. These traits aren't like an on-off switch; they operate on a spectrum so that no one person is 100% the same. However, thanks to studies of identical twins, we know genetics plays a huge role in determining someone's personality.

A large part of your personality is pre-determined. I can't remember what percentage was given in this book. Elsewhere, however, I've read than 50% - 65% of a person's personality is predicated on genetics. The determinists of the world kind of have a point.

That leaves 35% - 50% of genetics being down to something else. But what? It turns out we don't know as well as you might think. It might be that the conditions you experience in your mother's womb will influence your level of neuroticism, for example. Of course the people you meet and the experiences you have will shape you as well. The environment you grow up in has some influence. Your own behaviors over the course of a lifetime have some influence.

That said, how those things manifest might be down to the other 50% - 65% of the equation. In other words, if you're high in neuroticism, your experience of roller coasters as a child is going to be different to an extraverted child's identical experience of the coasters.

Of course, the question is: can anyone *really* change if 50% or more of our personality is set for us in our very DNA?

In Personality, we don't get the clearest answer. The conclusion I drew from it is that we're kind of in a tough spot. On the one hand, 35% - 50% is still a lot of room to work with. On the other hand, 50% - 65% is our fundamentals and if life has taught me anything, fundamentals are what everything else rests on.

Almost anyone of average intelligence with the drive to change their personality could do so somewhat. For example, take someone with severe anxiety (classic high neuroticism trait) going to therapy. In therapy, they learn to stop responding so strongly to negative emotions. They learn how to reframe upsetting situations. It can take a long time, *years* in some cases. However, the brain is very plastic. You can train it to realize that there's no need to react in a neurotic way...but you are still neurotic.

Take from that what you will.
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Top reviews from other countries

Benjamin Lang
5.0 out of 5 stars Mandatory read for everybody!
Reviewed in Germany on April 30, 2024
Verified Purchase
Totally insightful primer on the big 5 and their consequences for all kind of life choices, for better or worse.

Must read!
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Patrick M.
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book on understanding personality (5 factor model)
Reviewed in Canada on June 14, 2021
Verified Purchase
This is a great book to understanding personality. It provides background on the development of the 5 factor model, describes each of the five traits in depth using case studies to illustrate each factor and also discusses nature versus nurture using research from behavioral genetics research. It does not read like a dry textbook - it is a very easy and interesting read. Highly recommended!
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
Reviewed in France on October 15, 2019
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Excellent
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Miguel
5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting primer
Reviewed in Spain on January 20, 2019
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When I purchased this book I was already somewhat familiar with the Big Five, but I learned a lot nevertheless. He talks about animal personality, factor analysis, the biological and evolutionary aspects of temperament and the practical consequences of each personality dimension. Overall, a really good read. If you already know a lot of this stuff, it might be too basic: it's an introduction after all...
Bear in mind it requires a very good level of English.
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Adam Carlton
5.0 out of 5 stars Profound and accessible scientific review
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 29, 2013
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Suppose you ask people to rate their interest in such things as social activities, travel, competitive success and sex. Perhaps not surprisingly, their separate scores will correlate with each other (0.1 - 0.3). If you now ask them whether they ever feel depressed or `blue', or whether they have sought help for anxiety, their scores for these two items also positively correlate with each other. But the first four sets and the second two sets don't cross correlate at all. This suggests there are deeper traits at work. A technique called factor analysis identifies Extraversion as the common factor in the first set, and Neuroticism as the common factor for the second. These two factors are independent.

When a wide variety of personality-relevant items are rated for large samples of people, factor analysis reliably and repeatedly confirms that there are five underlying, independent personality traits: Extraversion and Neuroticism as already described; Conscientiousness, Agreeableness and Openness. Each will get a chapter to itself.

The Five Factor Model of personality is often accused of shallowness, and of being atheoretic as the factors simply emerge from statistical processing (in fact just the same factoring procedure generates the g-factor - general intelligence - as measured through IQ tests). The great strength of Nettle's book is that he can link individual variation within each of the five factors to differences in brain anatomy and metabolism as captured by MRI scanners and then with genetic differences. The five traits seem to be capturing something real about genetically-determined brain variation.

Common observation confirms that we are surrounded by different personalities. If personality is heavily determined by our genes, as it appears, then why haven't we all converged on an ideal personality? You can, of course, ask the same question about any continuously-varying trait which still exhibits variation, such as height or intelligence. The answer seems to be a combination of environmental instability (rewarding different parts of the variability-spectrum in different circumstances) and frequency-dependent selection (as in the way a few rather nasty people can take advantage of the many nice-but-gullible). Nettle discusses this in detail - it will be a recurring point that all positions in personality space help in some circumstances but hinder in others.

The chapter on Extraversion, setting a pattern for those to come on the other traits, links the behavioural attributes of extraverts with brain imaging and genetic studies. Extraversion, it turns out, comes down to a strong reaction to positive emotions - those feelings we find rewarding; introverts just don't seem to care so much, conserving their energy. There seems to be a link between extraversion and genetic variation in sensitivity to dopamine.

Neuroticism, by contrast, relate to sensitivity to negative emotions: to score highly on this dimension is to be a worrier. The associated brain chemistry seems to involve the neurotransmitter serotonin: inhibitors such as Prozac seem to make us less worried about life's many sources of anxiety.

Conscientiousness, the third trait to be analysed, seems at first sight a pretty good trait to score highly on. It's the most reliable predictor of occupational success across the board. Conscientiousness is particularly valuable in structured, rule-based environments such as we find in advanced technological societies. Change the situation to one of unpredictable, fast-changing circumstance however, and the rule-bound are at a disadvantage. The army, for example, has a continual internal conflict as it needs both sorts, but they continually rub each other up the wrong way.

Agreeableness, the fourth dimension, sounds like a trait well-worth having. Who could fault being nice? Perhaps not so strangely, success in business correlates with low scores on this trait. Something about putting other people first and a degree of self-effacement doesn't sit easily with tough, mission-oriented leadership. This is the one trait where female and male scores are clearly distinct, with women scoring more than half a standard deviation higher in agreeableness. There is a ready evolutionary explanation in the pre-modern sexual division of labour.

The final dimension is Openness to Experience. This is a hard dimension to pin down. Some people equate it with intelligence, but the author is of the opinion that intelligence is a kind of whole-brain efficiency measure implicated across all areas of neural functioning including such non-intellectual tasks as pure reaction times. Nettle believes high-scorers on Openness are artistic, creative people capable of making associations between different - and perhaps surprising - kinds of things. Intellectuals on the science, technology, engineering and maths front don't look much like famous poets and acclaimed authors. Wherein lies the difference? For once the author doesn't have good answers, believing the key to excellence in these STEM subjects is more down to general intelligence. But clearly that can't be the whole story.

In the final part of the book the author reviews the evidence for `environmental' influences determining personality and finds they are few and hard to find. Family and parental input (if non-abusive) has been carefully measured to have exactly zero impact: you can't change your child's personality. Does this give people a deterministic get-out - my genes made me do it? In the final chapter Nettle carefully demolishes this view, showing that dispositions are one thing, but the life choices you make to go with or against the flow of your dispositions are something else.

In summary, this book is a wonderfully accessible and profound exploration of the concept of personality. Everyone will learn something about themselves from reading it and it conclusively takes us beyond the limitations of the Jungian approach as in Myers-Briggs theory. There is a short 12 item questionnaire which you are encouraged to take before reading.
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