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Winning Through Intimidation
If you've ever found yourself coming out on the short end of the stick, you'll appreciate the rewards that can be yours when you take the initiative in every area of your life. Written by the bestselling author of MILLION DOLLAR HABITS, this business gem, explains in candid terms what intimidation is, why you become intimidated and how you can avoid the mental lapses that can cause you to fall victim to intimidation.
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1974
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
March 9, 2010
I have to say, I learned a lot from this book, especially about that intangible yet highly relevant person-to-person tactic known as intimidation.
I don't agree with every single little thing he said, but he is on the money in this: people (with very few exceptions) are out to get you. They may be up front about it (Type Number One), they may try to be very nice about it and act so sorry once it's over (Type Number Three), or -- most commonly -- they'll assure you of their honesty and virtue and then become offended when you object to being ripped off (Type Number Two, the most common and possibly the most dangerous).
In a candyland world, you might be able to plaster on a big grin and bouncy feet and get people to hand you the money you earned and deserve. In the real world, they're almost guaranteed to try to bite off your hand along with your money. Being "nice" enough to not force parties to sign on the dotted line is asking for trouble.
So, when dealing with jungle players who are out to get you, you have two choices; be intimidated (i.e. be socially acceptable, wait in the office as long as they want you to, and wind up broke and frustrated and used), or intimidate (make those oh so virtuous Number Twos sign and abide by the agreement or else walk away from the losing deal).
Another very good point was that most of the time, your major concern in life should be earning your income AND making sure you receive it. Many activities that are supposed to fatten your paycheck really amount to tail chasing because, in the end, no one pays. Hot air and pressure from the boss notwithstanding.
I found his description of the Discouragement Fraternity fascinating because I've run into them and bought some of their baloney -- "Oh, it's so hard to make a living in the field of your choice, competition is very stiff, don't even try." It's heartening to realize that maybe these people who are so down on my chances are losers looking to soothe their egos.
I will be carefully re-reading this book, buying my own copy, and sharing it with others. I'm sure it's not the end-all and be-all, but it makes a lot of sense.
I don't agree with every single little thing he said, but he is on the money in this: people (with very few exceptions) are out to get you. They may be up front about it (Type Number One), they may try to be very nice about it and act so sorry once it's over (Type Number Three), or -- most commonly -- they'll assure you of their honesty and virtue and then become offended when you object to being ripped off (Type Number Two, the most common and possibly the most dangerous).
In a candyland world, you might be able to plaster on a big grin and bouncy feet and get people to hand you the money you earned and deserve. In the real world, they're almost guaranteed to try to bite off your hand along with your money. Being "nice" enough to not force parties to sign on the dotted line is asking for trouble.
So, when dealing with jungle players who are out to get you, you have two choices; be intimidated (i.e. be socially acceptable, wait in the office as long as they want you to, and wind up broke and frustrated and used), or intimidate (make those oh so virtuous Number Twos sign and abide by the agreement or else walk away from the losing deal).
Another very good point was that most of the time, your major concern in life should be earning your income AND making sure you receive it. Many activities that are supposed to fatten your paycheck really amount to tail chasing because, in the end, no one pays. Hot air and pressure from the boss notwithstanding.
I found his description of the Discouragement Fraternity fascinating because I've run into them and bought some of their baloney -- "Oh, it's so hard to make a living in the field of your choice, competition is very stiff, don't even try." It's heartening to realize that maybe these people who are so down on my chances are losers looking to soothe their egos.
I will be carefully re-reading this book, buying my own copy, and sharing it with others. I'm sure it's not the end-all and be-all, but it makes a lot of sense.
November 29, 2012
This is a great book if you want to learn about the dynamics behind business negotiations.
The author starts out as a nobody selling real estate, but quickly hops to the big leagues. (This is actually one of the principles in the book - you don't need to "climb the ladder" to get to the top of most fields. Just act as if you have already reached the top and most can't tell the difference.)
One of the ideas that made the biggest impression on me is positioning. In the beginning of the book the author was struggling with both buyers and sellers to negotiate his contracts and earn a decent commission. Later he decided to buy a Learjet and position himself much differently than the typical real estate broker. His clients, seeing him touch down at the airport, with 2-3 assistants, became much more compliant. Getting deals done on his terms became much easier because of a couple smart changes to the way he was being perceived.
The overall message of the book is to reveal the dog-eat-dog nature of the business he was in. The author details stories of how he was screwed (or nearly screwed) many times in the beginning. These people he calls his "mentors".
The lessons learned from the "mentors" can be distilled to the following: Everyone is out for their own self interest and you must guard your own self interest. Those who claim to be acting in your interest really aren't - they will just screw you in more subtle ways. Don't ever rely on other people treating you "fairly".
The author starts out as a nobody selling real estate, but quickly hops to the big leagues. (This is actually one of the principles in the book - you don't need to "climb the ladder" to get to the top of most fields. Just act as if you have already reached the top and most can't tell the difference.)
One of the ideas that made the biggest impression on me is positioning. In the beginning of the book the author was struggling with both buyers and sellers to negotiate his contracts and earn a decent commission. Later he decided to buy a Learjet and position himself much differently than the typical real estate broker. His clients, seeing him touch down at the airport, with 2-3 assistants, became much more compliant. Getting deals done on his terms became much easier because of a couple smart changes to the way he was being perceived.
The overall message of the book is to reveal the dog-eat-dog nature of the business he was in. The author details stories of how he was screwed (or nearly screwed) many times in the beginning. These people he calls his "mentors".
The lessons learned from the "mentors" can be distilled to the following: Everyone is out for their own self interest and you must guard your own self interest. Those who claim to be acting in your interest really aren't - they will just screw you in more subtle ways. Don't ever rely on other people treating you "fairly".
April 25, 2021
From News Publishing "The Theory of Intimidation states that in any financial transaction, the person who is intimidated the most will earn the least. The person who, through a strong posture, does the intimidating, will earn the most. Everyone can either use business intimidation to their advantage or automatically have it used against them. This business book explains in simple terms what intimidation is, why you become intimidated and how you can avoid being victim of intimidation."
When i read this back in the 70s i was impressed with how Ringer categorized penple into three groupings: those that pretended were on your side but stabbed you in the back; those that wouldn't say where they stood; and those that were honest and acknowledged they were after the best deal > good luck besting them.
This led me to appreciate other categorizations such as Aimable, Analytical, Expressive and Driver used in advanced sales courses.
When i read this back in the 70s i was impressed with how Ringer categorized penple into three groupings: those that pretended were on your side but stabbed you in the back; those that wouldn't say where they stood; and those that were honest and acknowledged they were after the best deal > good luck besting them.
This led me to appreciate other categorizations such as Aimable, Analytical, Expressive and Driver used in advanced sales courses.
July 29, 2019
Winning Through Intimidation is Ringer’s first “self-help” book. I put “self-help” in quotes because it’s not the typical self-help book peddled by people like Norman Vincent Peale or Dale Carnegie. In fact, it’s different in that in contrast with the “general” selling techniques with Carnegie’s books, Ringer provides both his thought process and specific examples to show the reader that selling something in the real world is closer to Glengarry Glen Ross rather than a walk in the park.
I rank this book lower than Looking Out for No. 1 because the latter was a book with broader applications. Both books retained Ringer’s piercing insight into reality, although this one’s more specific to selling.
He begins the book by introducing three types of people:
1) Mister McGoo – tries to oversimplify reality;
2) Ostrich – hides from reality; and,
3) Tell-It-Like-It-Is - self-explanatory.
He prefers the third group of people, and then immediately proceeds to shit on the feel-good PMA self-help books that I love reading to make me less of a cynic and an asshole.
A positive mental attitude and the WASP mentality (working long, hard hours) will not necessarily equal success.
Society also doesn’t help, because it makes most people feel guilty about their success. One modern name for it is the “impostor syndrome:” even successful people feel that they’re not good enough. Ringer thus proposed an alternative method in the generation of a positive mental attitude: shit will always happen, so it's best to be prepared for it and accept it when it does. He essayed Mark Manson’s ideas even before Manson was born! Said Ringer:
The foundation to all his theories and their corollaries, however, is his Theory of Reality:
Subordinate to this theory, but still equally important in one’s pathway to success, are four theories he mentions afterward.
1) Theory of Relativity – Interpretations differ from person to person, and by focusing on one’s own problems and avoiding playing the Definition Game (expounded upon in Looking Out for No. 1, one can be more successful.
2) Theory of Relevance – Work on the things relevant to you, and you first.
3) Thirty Year Theory – We are all going to die: TODAY, and this life is my only shot.
4) Ice Ball Theory – Nothing ultimately matters, so don’t take yourself too seriously.
Yeah, it was The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck before that was even cool.
The focus of this book is on the five theories that I had enumerated. However, there are also relevant theories mentioned later on that are still important towards one's growth.
Organic Chemistry Theory states that we should not allow ourselves to be intimidated by know-it-alls who thrive on bestowing their knowledge on insecure people. Whether or not someone else knows-it-all isn’t relevant: the only thing that’s relevant is what YOU know and what YOU do.
Leapfrog Theory is a related theory: every person has the right to announce that he is on any level he chooses to be on. What society dictates isn’t necessarily the correct choice.
Instead of the inchoate PMA bruited about, Ringer stands by his Theory of Intimidation:
The less intimidated he was with doing what he set out to do, the better results he achieved. “Being liked was not much of a reward for being poor and disrespected.”
In fact, he may have very well been Alec Baldwin’s character in the Glengarry Glen Ross film!
That may have been precisely the reason that Alec Baldwin was the rich guy and the rest were the PMA salesmen.
“Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING,” is one of the last statements Baldwin character makes. Ringer’s Fiddle Theory and Better Deal Theory support this urgency: the longer a person fiddles around with something, the greater the odds that the result will be negative. There will always seem to be a better deal coming one’s way, but these are usually mirages. Finally, Baldwin certainly was a follower of the Bluff Theory: the best bluff is NOT to bluff.
That is why Ringer got rich, and that is why Alec Baldwin's character had an $80,000 BMW: Fuck, or walk.
I rank this book lower than Looking Out for No. 1 because the latter was a book with broader applications. Both books retained Ringer’s piercing insight into reality, although this one’s more specific to selling.
He begins the book by introducing three types of people:
1) Mister McGoo – tries to oversimplify reality;
2) Ostrich – hides from reality; and,
3) Tell-It-Like-It-Is - self-explanatory.
He prefers the third group of people, and then immediately proceeds to shit on the feel-good PMA self-help books that I love reading to make me less of a cynic and an asshole.
A positive mental attitude and the WASP mentality (working long, hard hours) will not necessarily equal success.
Successful men rarely know the real reasons for their success, because they’re too close to the forest to see the trees.
Society also doesn’t help, because it makes most people feel guilty about their success. One modern name for it is the “impostor syndrome:” even successful people feel that they’re not good enough. Ringer thus proposed an alternative method in the generation of a positive mental attitude: shit will always happen, so it's best to be prepared for it and accept it when it does. He essayed Mark Manson’s ideas even before Manson was born! Said Ringer:
Prepare for long-term success by preparing for short-term failure.
The foundation to all his theories and their corollaries, however, is his Theory of Reality:
Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.
Subordinate to this theory, but still equally important in one’s pathway to success, are four theories he mentions afterward.
1) Theory of Relativity – Interpretations differ from person to person, and by focusing on one’s own problems and avoiding playing the Definition Game (expounded upon in Looking Out for No. 1, one can be more successful.
2) Theory of Relevance – Work on the things relevant to you, and you first.
3) Thirty Year Theory – We are all going to die: TODAY, and this life is my only shot.
4) Ice Ball Theory – Nothing ultimately matters, so don’t take yourself too seriously.
Yeah, it was The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck before that was even cool.
The focus of this book is on the five theories that I had enumerated. However, there are also relevant theories mentioned later on that are still important towards one's growth.
Organic Chemistry Theory states that we should not allow ourselves to be intimidated by know-it-alls who thrive on bestowing their knowledge on insecure people. Whether or not someone else knows-it-all isn’t relevant: the only thing that’s relevant is what YOU know and what YOU do.
Leapfrog Theory is a related theory: every person has the right to announce that he is on any level he chooses to be on. What society dictates isn’t necessarily the correct choice.
Instead of the inchoate PMA bruited about, Ringer stands by his Theory of Intimidation:
Results obtained are inversely proportional to the degree of intimidation.
The less intimidated he was with doing what he set out to do, the better results he achieved. “Being liked was not much of a reward for being poor and disrespected.”
In fact, he may have very well been Alec Baldwin’s character in the Glengarry Glen Ross film!
“You think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you... You can’t close the names you’re given? You can’t close shit. You ARE shit.
“Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you, go home and play with your kids!”
“The first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anybody want to see the second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.”
That may have been precisely the reason that Alec Baldwin was the rich guy and the rest were the PMA salesmen.
“Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING,” is one of the last statements Baldwin character makes. Ringer’s Fiddle Theory and Better Deal Theory support this urgency: the longer a person fiddles around with something, the greater the odds that the result will be negative. There will always seem to be a better deal coming one’s way, but these are usually mirages. Finally, Baldwin certainly was a follower of the Bluff Theory: the best bluff is NOT to bluff.
That is why Ringer got rich, and that is why Alec Baldwin's character had an $80,000 BMW: Fuck, or walk.
September 7, 2013
This book is about the theory of intimidation, and the measures one can take to avoid being intimidated in negotiations. I didn't realize Ringer's book focalized on real estate negotiating, but his methods are cross functional to other situations. Ringer contends that the results a person obtains are inversely proportionate to the degree to which he is intimidated. This book is about the methods Ringer administers to essentially trade places with the principal. Instead of being the middle schooler intimidated sitting in the principal's office, create an image that reverses the roles.
He outlines several theories, some of which are cheesy and common sense, but nonetheless, interesting. For example, "sustaining a positive attitude" in negotiations comes from realistically assuming that you will fail. You assume the worst because actual experience has proven the reality that no matter how well prepared you are, only a small amount of deals actually close. Basically, if you're willing to fail, you have nothing to lose. The difference is being prepared to win.
I liked his description on the brotherhood of lawyers in any deal. In his first real estate deal he represented a guy on an all or nothing basis. I didn't realize that commissions for brokers were often difficult to collect, and that in the end, many get walked over by the sellers. In this example, Ringer sold the property then got told at the end that his client couldn't afford to pay him. Instead of being intimidated, he brought his own attorney (which nobody does) to the close and got his fee. At the end of the day, there is an unspoken brotherhood between attorneys. No matter what goes on during the negotiation, the attorney's always leave hand in hand talking about Sunday golf.
A lot of Ringer's success was based on being "mysterious" to his client's and creating an aura that he was too "big" to work on the client's measely deal. This allowed him to make big commissions and make the seller think he had a superstar broker. He basically played the "hard to get card". It worked because all major real estate owners and executives worth tens of millions of dollars are wired similarly, and are accustomed to getting whatever they want at this point in their careers. They're intrigued by a broker who doesn't respond to calls right away, sends brochures without his name or contact information because it's assumed, doesn't make promises, etc. He'd take a lear jet to meetings with three associates, helping create his "rockstar" image.
He told a story of walking into a local bank in a black suit, briefcase and dark glasses just to cash a normal check. He was amazed by the different treatment he got. You should try the same some time for entertainment's sake.
I also picked up some tactics that could be helpful for when I'm looking for another property and how to come off as a serious buyer. Non serious buyers focus on important, but not critical information like location, construction, age of the property, etc. Real buyers are purely into the nuts and bolts of cash flow. They want to know what they make in rentals, and how much work needs to be done to get it operational.
Overall, there were a lot of pages I could have skipped over, but you pick up enough that it is a worthwhile read if you have an interest in real estate or work in a career like sales, purchasing or private equity where you are constantly negotiating with a brokers, sellers and buyers.
He outlines several theories, some of which are cheesy and common sense, but nonetheless, interesting. For example, "sustaining a positive attitude" in negotiations comes from realistically assuming that you will fail. You assume the worst because actual experience has proven the reality that no matter how well prepared you are, only a small amount of deals actually close. Basically, if you're willing to fail, you have nothing to lose. The difference is being prepared to win.
I liked his description on the brotherhood of lawyers in any deal. In his first real estate deal he represented a guy on an all or nothing basis. I didn't realize that commissions for brokers were often difficult to collect, and that in the end, many get walked over by the sellers. In this example, Ringer sold the property then got told at the end that his client couldn't afford to pay him. Instead of being intimidated, he brought his own attorney (which nobody does) to the close and got his fee. At the end of the day, there is an unspoken brotherhood between attorneys. No matter what goes on during the negotiation, the attorney's always leave hand in hand talking about Sunday golf.
A lot of Ringer's success was based on being "mysterious" to his client's and creating an aura that he was too "big" to work on the client's measely deal. This allowed him to make big commissions and make the seller think he had a superstar broker. He basically played the "hard to get card". It worked because all major real estate owners and executives worth tens of millions of dollars are wired similarly, and are accustomed to getting whatever they want at this point in their careers. They're intrigued by a broker who doesn't respond to calls right away, sends brochures without his name or contact information because it's assumed, doesn't make promises, etc. He'd take a lear jet to meetings with three associates, helping create his "rockstar" image.
He told a story of walking into a local bank in a black suit, briefcase and dark glasses just to cash a normal check. He was amazed by the different treatment he got. You should try the same some time for entertainment's sake.
I also picked up some tactics that could be helpful for when I'm looking for another property and how to come off as a serious buyer. Non serious buyers focus on important, but not critical information like location, construction, age of the property, etc. Real buyers are purely into the nuts and bolts of cash flow. They want to know what they make in rentals, and how much work needs to be done to get it operational.
Overall, there were a lot of pages I could have skipped over, but you pick up enough that it is a worthwhile read if you have an interest in real estate or work in a career like sales, purchasing or private equity where you are constantly negotiating with a brokers, sellers and buyers.
September 13, 2013
A must-read for any business professional.
The title is accurate, but it could also have been "Winning Through NOT Being Intimidated."
To be candid, I was intimidated myself by the title. By nature, I am a congenial guy. My approach with new clients in my business is to establish a personal rapport while earning their respect for my experience and expertise as a business book ghostwriter.
But I've lost thousands of dollars and incurred far too much stress because of what I've allowed some of my past clients to "talk me into." I didn't say no when I should have because I was afraid of losing the deal, losing the client, losing the rapport, or losing their respect.
Robert Ringer would say that I was intimidated. Looking back, I see the many missteps that led to my predicaments. Had I been more proactive, had I made certain decisions, and had I been more prepared, I could have completely avoided those "learning opportunities" and still have been successful in my business.
I HIGHLY recommend for any business professional, but especially for independent professionals, solopreneurs, freelancers, and small business owners. Incredibly insightful lessons in how to win, keep your dignity and respect, and to set yourself apart from the pack.
The title is accurate, but it could also have been "Winning Through NOT Being Intimidated."
To be candid, I was intimidated myself by the title. By nature, I am a congenial guy. My approach with new clients in my business is to establish a personal rapport while earning their respect for my experience and expertise as a business book ghostwriter.
But I've lost thousands of dollars and incurred far too much stress because of what I've allowed some of my past clients to "talk me into." I didn't say no when I should have because I was afraid of losing the deal, losing the client, losing the rapport, or losing their respect.
Robert Ringer would say that I was intimidated. Looking back, I see the many missteps that led to my predicaments. Had I been more proactive, had I made certain decisions, and had I been more prepared, I could have completely avoided those "learning opportunities" and still have been successful in my business.
I HIGHLY recommend for any business professional, but especially for independent professionals, solopreneurs, freelancers, and small business owners. Incredibly insightful lessons in how to win, keep your dignity and respect, and to set yourself apart from the pack.
December 10, 2019
I learned a couple of things from this book about the rules of the jungle.
It is a bit sad that it is the nature of the business world that the author had to come to direct contact with the "reality" and adapt to the brutality.
But my own real-world experience confirms that everyone is after their chips.
So we'd better face it and defend ourselves!
The author says it is often what people say or do but the posture that is a dealbreaker in many business situations. It is a game of being intimidated or intimidating others.
The one who gets intimidated loses the game.
Thanks to the author, I learned some real life strategies in dealing with difficult and cunning people. I feel like I am much more equipped than my naive days.
It is a bit sad that it is the nature of the business world that the author had to come to direct contact with the "reality" and adapt to the brutality.
But my own real-world experience confirms that everyone is after their chips.
So we'd better face it and defend ourselves!
The author says it is often what people say or do but the posture that is a dealbreaker in many business situations. It is a game of being intimidated or intimidating others.
The one who gets intimidated loses the game.
Thanks to the author, I learned some real life strategies in dealing with difficult and cunning people. I feel like I am much more equipped than my naive days.
July 13, 2013
I read this at a young age, before I really got started in my business career. It helped tremendously. Don't be fooled by the title. It all about being prepared - not intimidation. Here's a review I wrote early on when I first started blogging:
One of my favorite books from the seventies is Winning Through Intimidation by Robert J Ringer. I also liked his other bestseller, Looking Out for #1. If you have read the books you know that they do not endorse selfishness or thoughtlessness towards others. In fact, they are quite the opposite.
Mr. Ringer preaches that the path to success is in being prepared and ready to handle difficult situations as they come up. His story is not about how to intimidate others, but how to be organized and ready so you are not intimidated by others who practice intimidation as a way of getting what they want out of life.
I vividly recall his story of closing a deal that was about to go south because the client wanted a contract revised. He had his secretary there on the spot with her typewriter make the changes. And this was before word processors. He was prepared and he got the deal. He is also emphatic that people who practice intimidation forget about you when they get what they want.
The premise of Mr. Ringer’s books and philosophy is that your happiness benefits others. If you are happy, you will be in a better position to help bring happiness into the lives of others. You are happy when you are confident and you are confident when you are prepared. So why not face reality and prepare yourself to deal with the intimidating people in life?
I have had my share of experiences dealing with people who practice intimidation. For some people it seems that life is made up of one adversarial confrontation after another. And they appear to thrive on it as if it were a game to them. I guess if you are competitive by nature then you just want to win, no matter what it does to others.
I abhor this selfish philosophy. Let me reiterate. Intimidation is not what Mr. Ringer was teaching or continues to teach today. He wisely counseled that to win with people like that you simply need to be prepared to deal with them and anticipate what they will do. I don’t think of myself as a competitive person but I embraced the philosophy of being prepared long ago.
Let’s apply this to living in today’s world. If you believe in and stand up for principles that are true, you need to be prepared to defend them when attacked by those who do not value them. And attack them they will. As time goes by, what Latter-day Saints believe and practice will come under criticism, ridicule and condemnation by those who do not uphold the truth.
Will you be prepared when your beliefs and private religious practices come under attack? It may be subtle or it may be direct. It may come from a stranger but more likely from someone you know. You can safely use the media as a guide for what is being attacked – marriage, the family, and Christianity in any public display in America. Are you prepared to defend your faith?
Source: http://latterdaycommentary.com/2007/1...
One of my favorite books from the seventies is Winning Through Intimidation by Robert J Ringer. I also liked his other bestseller, Looking Out for #1. If you have read the books you know that they do not endorse selfishness or thoughtlessness towards others. In fact, they are quite the opposite.
Mr. Ringer preaches that the path to success is in being prepared and ready to handle difficult situations as they come up. His story is not about how to intimidate others, but how to be organized and ready so you are not intimidated by others who practice intimidation as a way of getting what they want out of life.
I vividly recall his story of closing a deal that was about to go south because the client wanted a contract revised. He had his secretary there on the spot with her typewriter make the changes. And this was before word processors. He was prepared and he got the deal. He is also emphatic that people who practice intimidation forget about you when they get what they want.
The premise of Mr. Ringer’s books and philosophy is that your happiness benefits others. If you are happy, you will be in a better position to help bring happiness into the lives of others. You are happy when you are confident and you are confident when you are prepared. So why not face reality and prepare yourself to deal with the intimidating people in life?
I have had my share of experiences dealing with people who practice intimidation. For some people it seems that life is made up of one adversarial confrontation after another. And they appear to thrive on it as if it were a game to them. I guess if you are competitive by nature then you just want to win, no matter what it does to others.
I abhor this selfish philosophy. Let me reiterate. Intimidation is not what Mr. Ringer was teaching or continues to teach today. He wisely counseled that to win with people like that you simply need to be prepared to deal with them and anticipate what they will do. I don’t think of myself as a competitive person but I embraced the philosophy of being prepared long ago.
Let’s apply this to living in today’s world. If you believe in and stand up for principles that are true, you need to be prepared to defend them when attacked by those who do not value them. And attack them they will. As time goes by, what Latter-day Saints believe and practice will come under criticism, ridicule and condemnation by those who do not uphold the truth.
Will you be prepared when your beliefs and private religious practices come under attack? It may be subtle or it may be direct. It may come from a stranger but more likely from someone you know. You can safely use the media as a guide for what is being attacked – marriage, the family, and Christianity in any public display in America. Are you prepared to defend your faith?
Source: http://latterdaycommentary.com/2007/1...
February 21, 2016
Very good book!!!! It is original and it is one of the books that I will have to read again becuase I have currenly read as a way to improve my english skills.
I hope that I will have enough self-discipline to prepare me and understand the rules of my work which let me leapfrog to another level.
I have seen that I have been intinimated during my life by "problems" that they were not really problems.
I never finish to learn but I just hope that in my time living in UK I get to be enough mature to solve my own problems and obtain the self freedom to lead my life towards I want.
I hope to forget the life that I have lived as a protected guy by his parents.
Thank you Ringer, you have always been one of the person who most influence have had in my life. Your book looking the number one, make me swear (and I have complied it) that no human was going to hurt emotionally ever again and since I have read that book, it was a liberation from me. I have to work applying your philosophy for not to feel me intimidate ever again by anyone or by life.
I hope that I will have enough self-discipline to prepare me and understand the rules of my work which let me leapfrog to another level.
I have seen that I have been intinimated during my life by "problems" that they were not really problems.
I never finish to learn but I just hope that in my time living in UK I get to be enough mature to solve my own problems and obtain the self freedom to lead my life towards I want.
I hope to forget the life that I have lived as a protected guy by his parents.
Thank you Ringer, you have always been one of the person who most influence have had in my life. Your book looking the number one, make me swear (and I have complied it) that no human was going to hurt emotionally ever again and since I have read that book, it was a liberation from me. I have to work applying your philosophy for not to feel me intimidate ever again by anyone or by life.
Read
November 22, 2023Not bad, but not great either, a lot of rambling.
I like the idea of creative aggressiveness in a business context.
I like the idea of creative aggressiveness in a business context.
October 11, 2012
Despite what Ringer told me to think about this book, I don't really think it had too much to say about "life in general." Sure, the theories apply, but almost the entire book is composed of personal anecdotes, which, though, interesting, are not as illustrative as they are claimed to be. It would have been better if there were more than 2 chapters or so on the theory. A few of the 20 chapters about specific things that he encountered could have been better spent. Not a bad book though.
November 17, 2009
Most of the lessons in this book I ended up learning the hard way, but having read them here helped me avoid making the same mistake twice. Short read and just a great, great book about how to avoid getting your chips taken from you.
February 8, 2017
Even though business (and life) is a game, people will try to screw you. With his No BS reality-formed philosophy, Ringer shows you how to succeed without being intimidated.
January 6, 2021
Some interesting thoughts - more about selling and mindset. I will take a few things from this book. It is a classic.
June 19, 2021
Good book, giving you permission to lawyer up and get contracts signed, great for people that think verbal agreements and handshakes mean anything!!
April 29, 2014
The original title of this book, A Brutal Experiment in Business Reality, was actually more descriptive of its contents. Author Robert J. Ringer published this book during the early 1970s when American society was undergoing a period of chronic introspection, and Ringer chose to shatter the typical success myths about "hard work" and "determination." He writes about a rogues' gallery of characters who are determined to use all manner of tricks to cheat him out of his hard-earned commission for brokering the sale of rental-income properties -- mostly by people who make a great deal out of their "integrity" and their "honesty."
In this book, there are several entertaining "movie moments," that make the book eminently readable, including ...
1. A tense episode after he gets an assistant to close a deal for him, when he finds out that the check -- for $15,000 -- is not certified, which means it might become worthless at the last minute...
2. A last-second reprieve: he almost walks out of a multi-million-dollar deal between two bickering parties, only to have both buyer and seller shout "Wait!" to keep him from leaving at the very last second...
3. His triumphant return to Missouri, the "Show Me" state, after a botched real estate deal years earlier; and ...
4. His encounter with someone FILTHY RICH who thought he didn't deserve to negotiate his own commission rate because, in the financier's words, "You're only a broker."
I would like to add that the amount of real estate math in the book is kept to a minimum, which makes it easy to read. But what is equally important is the variety of tricks that people will use to keep from paying you a benefit you feel you are "entitled" to, in spite of their claims of "honesty" and "integrity."
Perhaps the most important part that is still relevant today are the Three Types of people in the business world. A type One is a flat-out viper, a wolf in wolf's clothing who makes it clear to everyone involved that he is out to amass a fortune and that you mess with him at your peril. Type threes are those that may claim to be on your side when they hire you -- they may even believe it themselves at the time -- but when the chips are down, they are forced to try to talk you out of getting paid.
Type twos are the back-slapping good buddies who act super-friendly, concerned and cooperative to your face and reveal their true intentions to "take care of you" (i.e., screw you out of money) when it is too late. Some of them, you should be warned, get away with it in this book; there is not always a Capra-esque rescue, nor do the bad guys have a crisis of conscience, even when dragged into court. And when they do get dragged into court, they make a settlement offer with a non-disclosure agreement, so that you cannot sully their "good reputation" for "integrity."
It may be true that Mr. Ringer's philosophy has changed over the years, but that doesn't invalidate this record of his experiences. The core message, again, is not that you should "intimidate." Rather, in two words: Protect yourselves....
In this book, there are several entertaining "movie moments," that make the book eminently readable, including ...
1. A tense episode after he gets an assistant to close a deal for him, when he finds out that the check -- for $15,000 -- is not certified, which means it might become worthless at the last minute...
2. A last-second reprieve: he almost walks out of a multi-million-dollar deal between two bickering parties, only to have both buyer and seller shout "Wait!" to keep him from leaving at the very last second...
3. His triumphant return to Missouri, the "Show Me" state, after a botched real estate deal years earlier; and ...
4. His encounter with someone FILTHY RICH who thought he didn't deserve to negotiate his own commission rate because, in the financier's words, "You're only a broker."
I would like to add that the amount of real estate math in the book is kept to a minimum, which makes it easy to read. But what is equally important is the variety of tricks that people will use to keep from paying you a benefit you feel you are "entitled" to, in spite of their claims of "honesty" and "integrity."
Perhaps the most important part that is still relevant today are the Three Types of people in the business world. A type One is a flat-out viper, a wolf in wolf's clothing who makes it clear to everyone involved that he is out to amass a fortune and that you mess with him at your peril. Type threes are those that may claim to be on your side when they hire you -- they may even believe it themselves at the time -- but when the chips are down, they are forced to try to talk you out of getting paid.
Type twos are the back-slapping good buddies who act super-friendly, concerned and cooperative to your face and reveal their true intentions to "take care of you" (i.e., screw you out of money) when it is too late. Some of them, you should be warned, get away with it in this book; there is not always a Capra-esque rescue, nor do the bad guys have a crisis of conscience, even when dragged into court. And when they do get dragged into court, they make a settlement offer with a non-disclosure agreement, so that you cannot sully their "good reputation" for "integrity."
It may be true that Mr. Ringer's philosophy has changed over the years, but that doesn't invalidate this record of his experiences. The core message, again, is not that you should "intimidate." Rather, in two words: Protect yourselves....
August 9, 2011
By far the funniest book on business and the Commercial Real Estate industry, and one of the snappiest, most cynical, pragmatic, unvarnished looks at success, ever.
Ringer pulls off an incredible task by stripping away all pretense, anything remotely smelling of academic theory, and produces a roller coaster of a ride, a cautionary tale of those who would "steal your hard earned chips," and an amazing understanding of human nature as petty, cruel, weak, viciously duplicitous, and above all greedy.
Biggest take away for me (forget if it was in this work or "Looking Out for #1") was the advice: NEVER BLUFF. Get your ducks in a row, mentally prepare yourself to carry out your threat, and then state your terms. If called out, follow through.
One of the few books I'm tempted to re-read out of sheer enjoyment.
Ringer pulls off an incredible task by stripping away all pretense, anything remotely smelling of academic theory, and produces a roller coaster of a ride, a cautionary tale of those who would "steal your hard earned chips," and an amazing understanding of human nature as petty, cruel, weak, viciously duplicitous, and above all greedy.
Biggest take away for me (forget if it was in this work or "Looking Out for #1") was the advice: NEVER BLUFF. Get your ducks in a row, mentally prepare yourself to carry out your threat, and then state your terms. If called out, follow through.
One of the few books I'm tempted to re-read out of sheer enjoyment.
December 7, 2007
No, this isn't a book about how to use intimidation to your advantage. Well, not in the way you think. Rather, this book teaches you how to be successful despite the use of intimidation against you at every turn.
The author started out in the real estate business several decades ago. Like most of us, he was naive to the motivations and politics behind the people he worked with. Once he started to recognize the underlying motivations of his clients and coworkers, he could more easily identify tactics to neutralize their negative influences.
The author started out in the real estate business several decades ago. Like most of us, he was naive to the motivations and politics behind the people he worked with. Once he started to recognize the underlying motivations of his clients and coworkers, he could more easily identify tactics to neutralize their negative influences.
December 26, 2017
Probably one of the best book for Early Stage Managers, It has helped me immensely ever since i got my hands on this book in 2002, The Strategies mentioned inthe book around 15 years back are too much relevant today, or i would rather say, the book was meant for 2017 .
A Profound experience from someone who has seen life from close quarters , A must read for every student out of the college...
A Profound experience from someone who has seen life from close quarters , A must read for every student out of the college...
November 25, 2017
As many people have said, this is more a book on how to NOT get intimidated.
This book is about getting paid, not about closing.
You will find some value in this book if you have to be paid by any person, be it a traditional boss or clients (then even more so, in my experience.)
This book is about getting paid, not about closing.
You will find some value in this book if you have to be paid by any person, be it a traditional boss or clients (then even more so, in my experience.)
August 5, 2015
Learn the basic principles - learn how to react to various situations.
December 1, 2018
Bought the 1973 paperback from a Library sale box after noting it was 9 months #1 NYT Bestseller.
Ok. So i read many reviews from folks who take the business view that what he describes and recommends is mandatory knowledge for engaging in the business world. I totally agree, but for diametrically different reasons. I also learned to hard way, thinking i should be as THEIR schools teach us to be: ethical, honest and cooperative with people in life. But the truth of the business world is as Ringer describes. Either be one step ahead of your transactional partners or you will be robbed by the more ruthless. This is absolutely true.
So, what i get from the book is the unvarnished truth about the business world. It's ruthless, cutthroat, shark invested waters where no one is to be trusted. On the one hand it is good to have the ethical facade stripped away. But on the other hand, do we want a society ruled by these shark-human 1%, deploying deceit, trickery and theft on a 99% that just wants a cooperative, collective, honest world where they can make a living through honest participation in society? My answer is an emphatic NO!
Ringer's is just instructing us to be the bigger asshole. He plays by the same rules as the other players, as necessary. The "as necessary" is the moral problem of participating in a game with no rules. And where there are no rules anything goes. Those not willing to also be ruthless and deceive to stay alive in negotiation, will not get paid. And getting paid is all he cares about. It's is all capitalism cares about. Society, humanity, animal, plant, Earth all mean nothing to these 1%er wannabees in their quest to WIN (GET PAID).
In the end, this book describes why we live in a crisis-racked world in 2018 with no seeming solutions coming from the 1% who rule all decision making. They are too busy trying to outwit one another for MORE. It's all a GAME to them played at 99%, our, expense.
Ok. So i read many reviews from folks who take the business view that what he describes and recommends is mandatory knowledge for engaging in the business world. I totally agree, but for diametrically different reasons. I also learned to hard way, thinking i should be as THEIR schools teach us to be: ethical, honest and cooperative with people in life. But the truth of the business world is as Ringer describes. Either be one step ahead of your transactional partners or you will be robbed by the more ruthless. This is absolutely true.
So, what i get from the book is the unvarnished truth about the business world. It's ruthless, cutthroat, shark invested waters where no one is to be trusted. On the one hand it is good to have the ethical facade stripped away. But on the other hand, do we want a society ruled by these shark-human 1%, deploying deceit, trickery and theft on a 99% that just wants a cooperative, collective, honest world where they can make a living through honest participation in society? My answer is an emphatic NO!
Ringer's is just instructing us to be the bigger asshole. He plays by the same rules as the other players, as necessary. The "as necessary" is the moral problem of participating in a game with no rules. And where there are no rules anything goes. Those not willing to also be ruthless and deceive to stay alive in negotiation, will not get paid. And getting paid is all he cares about. It's is all capitalism cares about. Society, humanity, animal, plant, Earth all mean nothing to these 1%er wannabees in their quest to WIN (GET PAID).
In the end, this book describes why we live in a crisis-racked world in 2018 with no seeming solutions coming from the 1% who rule all decision making. They are too busy trying to outwit one another for MORE. It's all a GAME to them played at 99%, our, expense.
October 5, 2023
This book is a terrible memoir showcasing how a 14-year-old libertarian rationalizes the short-sighted lies he used to be a real estate broker in the ‘70s.
Most paragraphs are just the author repeating juvenile name-calling against people he still holds a grudge against 50 years later, littered with tons of contradictions and a good dash of outdated sexism and arrogance. In the preface the author says that if you want to intimidate others you should read Mein Kampf and the Communist Manifesto (yes, he’s calling everyone who disagrees with his book literal Nazis and commies), then later he explicitly brags about intimidating his way to success.
The only valid advice this book has to offer is that other people are looking out for their own self-interests, which is obvious without 200 pages of insults. The book also provides obvious tips about the real estate business in 1970, such as getting your commission agreement in writing, having a license to do business as legally required (even though it’s a “government racket” and you should make your underpaid secretaries do legal work you claim credit for), and sending all your letters through certified mail (since email hasn’t been invented yet). You’re better off with a book written in the last twenty years, like even “Never Split the Difference”. That author also is unlikable, but he’s less glaringly hypocritical.
Nobody in this century deserves to have to read this book. I powered through it to gain some insight into the perverse mindset of people like the author, which thankfully are a dying breed as they get outcompeted by better people as their privilege erodes, but it’s really not worth giving this book a second glance. Please don’t inflict this book on yourself.
Most paragraphs are just the author repeating juvenile name-calling against people he still holds a grudge against 50 years later, littered with tons of contradictions and a good dash of outdated sexism and arrogance. In the preface the author says that if you want to intimidate others you should read Mein Kampf and the Communist Manifesto (yes, he’s calling everyone who disagrees with his book literal Nazis and commies), then later he explicitly brags about intimidating his way to success.
The only valid advice this book has to offer is that other people are looking out for their own self-interests, which is obvious without 200 pages of insults. The book also provides obvious tips about the real estate business in 1970, such as getting your commission agreement in writing, having a license to do business as legally required (even though it’s a “government racket” and you should make your underpaid secretaries do legal work you claim credit for), and sending all your letters through certified mail (since email hasn’t been invented yet). You’re better off with a book written in the last twenty years, like even “Never Split the Difference”. That author also is unlikable, but he’s less glaringly hypocritical.
Nobody in this century deserves to have to read this book. I powered through it to gain some insight into the perverse mindset of people like the author, which thankfully are a dying breed as they get outcompeted by better people as their privilege erodes, but it’s really not worth giving this book a second glance. Please don’t inflict this book on yourself.
June 28, 2023
I don't understand how this book could ever be a number one selling book anywhere. There is no content of significance to this book, and the intimidation part is basically pure posturing. I wish there was some Machiavellian truth to it, but even here, there is no lesson on posturing, just a couple of pithy phrases. Despite the fact that the author tries to present his "knowledge" as a system by naming his insights 'theory' the book is thoroughly anecdotal. Ringer tries to preempt this exact criticism, about the autobiographical nature of the book, stating that anyone who cannot transfer his life's experiences in 'real estate' to other business endeavors is missing the point. There is no point to be made, there is no actual knowledge to be transferred beyond what any anecdote can teach.
But the book is not without charm. One wants to be prepared in case one meets the type of people with which Ringer deals in his book. Also, the book is shrewdly told as a bildungsroman, a story of growth. The hero's story. But then again, there are all those mixed metaphors: it's a school, it's a football game, it's a theory.
But the book is not without charm. One wants to be prepared in case one meets the type of people with which Ringer deals in his book. Also, the book is shrewdly told as a bildungsroman, a story of growth. The hero's story. But then again, there are all those mixed metaphors: it's a school, it's a football game, it's a theory.
June 25, 2019
A simple guide to avoiding intimidation in the business world.
Here's why:
IDEA ONE: There are only three types of people you'll meet in the business world:
1. The guy who says what he wants up front (direct)
2. The guy who says he doesn't want what he wants (but secretly does)
3. The guy who says he wants to help but won't come through (incompetent)
The book teaches you to stop type #2 and type #3 as a means of covering your backside. Ringer argues that you can always do win-win business deals with type #1s and if not - then there is his theory that there is another opportunity around the corner
Everyone has an uncle 'George' who works really hard but doesn't have much to show for it. This is because working hard is relative, and even worse, in the business world all the predators of the jungle look the same to the naked eye
Great, unique read!
Here's why:
IDEA ONE: There are only three types of people you'll meet in the business world:
1. The guy who says what he wants up front (direct)
2. The guy who says he doesn't want what he wants (but secretly does)
3. The guy who says he wants to help but won't come through (incompetent)
The book teaches you to stop type #2 and type #3 as a means of covering your backside. Ringer argues that you can always do win-win business deals with type #1s and if not - then there is his theory that there is another opportunity around the corner
Everyone has an uncle 'George' who works really hard but doesn't have much to show for it. This is because working hard is relative, and even worse, in the business world all the predators of the jungle look the same to the naked eye
Great, unique read!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 23, 2021
There you go. Another book I enjoyed reading very much. The lessons from Screw U. and the fun story telling made this book easy to read. The business world is a jungle, where every party is looking to get their hands on as many chips as possible. There are different types of predators out there: some will be really transparent about their position of wanting your chips, some will tell tell you lullabies and than snatch your chips and others are really good meaning, but at the end they too want your chips. It’s the law of the jungle - nobody’s to blame, everybody fights for their survival at the end of the day. What you can do, my friend, is improve your posture and not get intimidated, it’s simple - it’s not what you say and how you say it, but your posture when you are saying it. Enjoy the game.
July 11, 2018
The only reason I give 4 stars instead of 5, is because I've found a little boring, too much history - but far as I know based on REAL LIFE author's experience, not a "pink happy flower self help book".
Beside that, this book IS THE REAL DEAL. Not a happy colorful fluffy self-help book.
I love Robert Ringer another books because I've found the other ones much more direct and pratical advice. I've found Winning Through Intimidation a more autobiographical book with real solid advice, but for me, too much autobiographical histories.
I prefer the other ones, like the Million Dollar Habits witch is a phenomenal book witch the title fooled me thinking "another copycat self-help colorful book", witch for me wasn't. Is a book with direct advice. It's probably my favorite.
Beside that, this book IS THE REAL DEAL. Not a happy colorful fluffy self-help book.
I love Robert Ringer another books because I've found the other ones much more direct and pratical advice. I've found Winning Through Intimidation a more autobiographical book with real solid advice, but for me, too much autobiographical histories.
I prefer the other ones, like the Million Dollar Habits witch is a phenomenal book witch the title fooled me thinking "another copycat self-help colorful book", witch for me wasn't. Is a book with direct advice. It's probably my favorite.
June 7, 2021
En su libro Slim, Diego Enrique Osorno nos narra una ocasión mientras conversaba con el empresario en su biblioteca. En ese capítulo, nos describe una gran cantidad de títulos interesantísimos en la biblioteca del magnate, pero ninguno como Winning Through Intimidation. Diego Enrique cuenta que es un libro muy difícil de conseguir e incluso su bróker de libros no se lo conseguiría por menos $1,000 pesos. Gracias a las maravillas del siglo XXI, el libro está disponible en Kindle desde $89 pesos y es un libro que no debe faltar en ninguna estantería. A pesar del título engañoso, el libro es todo menos una guía para intimidar; de hecho, es todo lo contrario: Una receta de teorías y filosofías que nos ayudan a navegar terrenos e individuos intimidantes. Aunque discrepo de algunas de sus teorías y filosofías que me parecen demasiado pragmáticas, Winning Through Intimidation es, sin duda, uno de los mejores libros que he leído.
February 19, 2024
The title is no less confusing now than when the first edition was released. Read it as you would the phrase, "Winning through adversity." Ringer's choice to structure the book as a journey through his "university", elaborating on his "professors" and mistakes, is both effective and memorable.
There are thematic/approach parallels with some of the other author's I've been reading lately (hmm... maybe that was on purpose), such as; Dan Kennedy, Alan Weiss, Harry Browne, and Nassim Nicholas Taleb.
While there are certainly applications beyond real estate, the book would likely have benefitted from later editions being less dependent on real estate examples.
There are thematic/approach parallels with some of the other author's I've been reading lately (hmm... maybe that was on purpose), such as; Dan Kennedy, Alan Weiss, Harry Browne, and Nassim Nicholas Taleb.
While there are certainly applications beyond real estate, the book would likely have benefitted from later editions being less dependent on real estate examples.
November 24, 2022
okay this was very good. an approach to self help that is not really seen, and it definitely raises interesting and effective points that people should probably be aware of. however, the author is so obviously a man who believes that a woman belongs in the kitchen and thus many of his metaphors exist along this premise. it also feels like an alpha male book that those people who believe in the matrix read and then treat as their personal bible and guide for everything in life - which is probably a dangerous angle? but i am not a matrix alpha male so i don’t think i’ll have that problem xoxo
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