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Karl A. Pillemer
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30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans Spiral-bound

by Karl Pillemer (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars 862 ratings
30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans. Professionally spiraled and resold by a third party. This spiraled book is not necessarily affiliated with, endorsed by, or authorized by the publisher, distributor, or author.
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  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Generic
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B09Q6JLX2J
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Generic
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ Reprint edition
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 862 ratings

About the author

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Karl A. Pillemer

Karl A. Pillemer

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Karl Pillemer is a professor of human development at Cornell University and Professor of Gerontology in Medicine at the Weill Cornell Medical College. An internationally renowned family sociologist, his research examines how people develop and change throughout their lives. He has authored six books and over 150 scientific publications, and speaks throughout the world on aging-related issues.

His new book tackles the widespread and devastating problem of estrangement in families. In Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to mend them, Dr. Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. Fault Lines shares for the first time findings from Dr. Pillemer's five-year, ground-breaking Cornell Reconciliation Project. Based on cutting-edge research, he assures people who are estranged, and those who care about them, that they are not alone and that family rifts can be bridged.

Dr. Pillemer's two previous books also tap the lived wisdom of people who have lived through and surmounted life's challenges. After a chance encounter with a remarkable 90-year old woman, Dr. Pillemer decided to find out what older people know about life that the rest of us don't. His quest led him to ask more than a thousand older Americans their advice for living. He asked about all the big issues - love, marriage, children, work, happiness, avoiding regrets. This 6-year project led to the book: 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans, published in November 2011. More information on the project can be found at http://legacyproject.human.cornell.edu/.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
862 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book valuable for its life lessons and simple, well-organized format. They appreciate its credibility and consider it a great gift option, with one customer noting it's particularly suitable as a graduation or wedding present for young people. The book receives positive feedback for its pacing, with customers describing it as extremely soothing, and they praise its practical approach. However, several customers report issues with the book's cutting quality.

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Advice qualityReadabilityEase of readingCredibilityGift valuePacingStrengthCut quality
122 customers mention "Advice quality"112 positive10 negative

Customers find the book's advice valuable and insightful, describing it as a wonderful source of life lessons and simple mindfulness guidance.

"...Pillemer carefully curated the wisdom from these experts, chaining together life lessons that everyone should know as they journey through different..." Read more

"...I hope it is as appealing to a younger audience since the advice is so timeless and true." Read more

"...The book is unique in its approach; it is based on tapping the wisdom of the elders in the society who lived and experienced life fully and are..." Read more

"Simple and impactful advice from the wisest and most experienced among us. There’s a whole lot to learn from these elders." Read more

103 customers mention "Readability"97 positive6 negative

Customers find the book to be a wonderful and interesting read, with one customer noting it's a book to be revisited regularly.

"The wisdom I recall every day comes from a remarkable book titled "30 Lessons for Living" by Karl Pillemer...." Read more

"Enjoying this book immensely. I’m in my 60’s and hope to still have a lot of growing ahead of me. But...." Read more

"...So I think the book has reasonable content, since I think most advice you hear from old people (like I did) is reasonable when considered in the..." Read more

"...I do not want to spoil anything but this book is definitely worth the read...." Read more

25 customers mention "Ease of reading"23 positive2 negative

Customers find the book easy to read, with clear and well-organized content that is simple to understand.

"Simple and impactful advice from the wisest and most experienced among us. There’s a whole lot to learn from these elders." Read more

"...Overall, I thought this was a pretty good book. It was well written, and the pace moved along--no tedious dead spots, so it was an easy read...." Read more

"...The book is well-organized and clearly written, entertaining, yet with practical suggestions for benefiting from the hard-won wisdom of our elders...." Read more

"...Most of the people were very wise and well-spoken and I think it would have been an honor for him to include their names...." Read more

5 customers mention "Credibility"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book solid and trustworthy, with one customer noting that the pages are firm and intact.

"...This is the greatest strength of this book. The author outlines the experiences of numerous older Americans...." Read more

"...many popular life lessons that we have all heard, however very nicely put together, and even stronger coming from life experts." Read more

"...the pages seemed to be firm and in tact. as for the contents i can't comment as it was bought by me as a gift for a friend." Read more

"...science based approach to answer the life big questions, solid and trustworthy. A lot of answers are alarming to one's own current life." Read more

5 customers mention "Gift value"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a great gift, with one mentioning it makes an excellent graduation or wedding present for young people.

"...This book would make an excellent graduation or wedding present for young people who want to benefit from the experience of the older..." Read more

"...Highly recommended! Great gift also for anyone and everyone you know." Read more

"WEDDING GIFT!!!..." Read more

"...A thoughtful gift idea." Read more

5 customers mention "Pacing"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the pacing of the book soothing, with one customer noting how it feels immediately connected to the stories.

"...It also comes from the comfort of family and the joy of life itself...." Read more

"...He said that listening to the book was extremely soothing and helped to frame his perspective on the day as he drove to work through Boston traffic...." Read more

"Well written and confirms a lot of gut feelings, like, '' I have always thought that to be true." Wish I had read it when I was a teenager...." Read more

"...You can open to any chapter and feel immediately connected to the stories. Just wonderful!" Read more

5 customers mention "Strength"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book practical and powerful.

"...This is a tremendous feat, with years of interviewer training, subject recruitment, interviewing, and coding...." Read more

"...Much of the information was useful and practical. There was a summary at the end of each chapter that gives the lessons succinctly. Wonderful touch!..." Read more

"It worth make a stop in your way and read this book. Good work and very good lessons for me!" Read more

"Powerful and well written. I enjoyed it and hope to give it as gifts to other. Very timely counsel on every page." Read more

5 customers mention "Cut quality"0 positive5 negative

Customers report issues with the book's cut quality, with multiple reviews mentioning bad cuts and one customer noting that the edges are unfinished and not equally cut.

"the book papers cutting were bad... but the price was ok.. I like a writer and it helped for my life." Read more

"pages are imperfectly cut and hard to separate.,weird.Also no invoice included. What am I paying for this book? gmrosen @idcomm.com" Read more

"...Very poor. The pages were all uneven and roughly cut...." Read more

"...with the binding considering the price...the edges are unfinished not equally cut..." Read more

Defective book with rough edges
1 out of 5 stars
Defective book with rough edges
I have not yet read the book but I was really disappointed when I received this book as this book is a defective book with rough edges and marked with a yellow price tag of US$3 on the book cover. I paid much more than that and should be told beforehand it is a defective book if the vendor does not have other normal stock available. A really bad online shopping experience!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • karthik
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wisdom to Gain Before Growing Older
    Reviewed in the United States on September 5, 2024
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    The wisdom I recall every day comes from a remarkable book titled "30 Lessons for Living" by Karl Pillemer. I truly believe this is one of the most underrated books out there. This review is merely a wrapper, but the actual sweetness of wisdom is found inside the book itself.

    About the Book:
    This book is the result of over five years of research and involved the collection of interviews with thousands of older Americans. The author refers to these seniors as "experts on living," with most being 70 years or older. Pillemer carefully curated the wisdom from these experts, chaining together life lessons that everyone should know as they journey through different stages of life, such as marriage, personal growth, dealing with mistakes, aging, and happiness.
    The author sought practical guidance for living by tapping into the life wisdom of older individuals. He successfully demonstrated that we can learn a great deal from those who have lived long and full lives. While there are many invaluable lessons in this book, I would like to highlight some of my favorites on various stages of life. I truly believe this book serves as a crystal ball for how to approach life.

    Marriage:
    The experts are crystal clear on this: Forget about trying to change your partner! Entering a marriage with the goal of changing someone is a fool's errand, one that dooms the marriage before it begins. Instead, focus on changing your own feelings and behavior. You will have much more success in working on yourself than in trying to mold your partner.
    Additionally, they suggest getting to know the person well before marriage and advise against marrying too young.

    Career:
    Not a single person out of the thousands interviewed said that happiness comes from working as hard as you can to make money in order to buy things. No one emphasized wealth as the key to success or happiness. Instead, the consistent advice was to earn enough to live comfortably but not to condemn yourself to a job you dislike. The fulfillment of work should come from passion, not merely income.

    Parenting:
    What kids want most is your time. The hours you spend together will be remembered with fondness and nostalgia. The experts noted that shared activities—like hobbies, sports, camping, or even fishing—are what truly count. Be willing to make sacrifices to have that kind of time with your children.
    Aging:
    Aging is a process no one can escape, making it something all of humanity shares. Growing older is both an attitude and a process. You’re still good, you still enjoy life, and there's still a purpose in your life. It’s not the end of the road; you're on a path where the end is not yet in sight.

    Happiness:
    Time spent worrying is time wasted. Happiness doesn’t depend on how much we have but on the personal successes we achieve in our skills, artistry, sense of humor, acquisition of knowledge, refinement of character, expression of gratitude, and helping others. It also comes from the comfort of family and the joy of life itself.
    We should strive for happiness with what we have right now and make this perspective a daily habit. This attitude is a gift, one born from the awareness that life is short.

    30 Lessons for Living is truly a guide to approaching life with wisdom, compassion, and a deep understanding of what truly matters.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Laurie
    5.0 out of 5 stars These “Experts” have a lot of Wisdom to share
    Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2024
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Enjoying this book immensely. I’m in my 60’s and hope to still have a lot of growing ahead of me. But. I’m old enough to recognize the value of this wisdom. I hope it is as appealing to a younger audience since the advice is so timeless and true.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Fuad R Qubein
    4.0 out of 5 stars How to Tap the Wisdom and Experience of the Elderly?
    Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2018
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Throughout history, humans have been searching for a better way to live their lives - an easier and more meaningful way, materially and spiritually. In their search, this book entitled ’30 Lessons for Living’ by the gerontologist Dr. K. Pillemer, must be a welcome source. The book is unique in its approach; it is based on tapping the wisdom of the elders in the society who lived and experienced life fully and are willing to share their experience and knowledge with the new generations.

    How does one approach such a project? The author's plan was to ensure that all participants are 65 years and over. To be meaningful, the number of participants should be around 1000 and should be from various sectors of the society. In this study the average age of the candidates ranged between 74 and 80 Years. To ensure a proper sociological approach, the study was carried out in cooperation with Cornell University (Ithaca, NY) and was subject to its approval.

    The purpose of the project was to try to gain some insight into the experience of those elders and to see how to make it beneficial for the new generations. Here is a brief sample of the questions asked: What was your most important lesson for living that you wish to pass on to the new generations? What is your advice to them regarding marriage, raising children , health and careers? What were your core values and principles ? What would you advise them about aging gracefully?

    Although this project was carefully studied and implemented, and attracted much attention, yet, looking back critically, it leaves some questions in the mind of the reader concerning its practicality. If the core issue is to make it useful to new generations, what assurance have we that the issues encountered by the elders, say some 70 years ago, will still be applicable to the conditions of the new generations today? Have we not witnessed the overwhelming changes that have taken place in the last century in almost all walks of life?

    A more serious issue is the current gap between the elders and the new generations. As several interviewees confessed in later comments: The new generations have become convinced that we, the elders, are irrelevant and our views are archaic. Many sociologists seem to agree and ask: How often do we see young groups seeking the advice of, or even socializing with, the elders? Sadly, those wise and experienced elders who could be so useful to their society, are now more and more ignored and sidelined.

    Fuad R Qubein
    July 2018
    12 people found this helpful
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  • S F Burns
    5.0 out of 5 stars Simple and Impactful Advice From Our Wisest
    Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2024
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Simple and impactful advice from the wisest and most experienced among us. There’s a whole lot to learn from these elders.
    Helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Rika Natsuaki
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good book
    Reviewed in Japan on September 14, 2013
    Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
    Check the author on the web - interesting
    Report
  • Mjimenezt
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!!!
    Reviewed in Spain on May 4, 2014
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Gran trabajo del autor recopilando información de nuestros mayores. Ojalá podamos dar buen uso de el y seguir sus consejos.
    Report
  • Paul Ward-Perkins
    4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent idea on behalf of the researcher- sound advice for the reader
    Reviewed in France on February 2, 2015
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This was a very enjoyable read. I did not feel like I was taught many life changing lesson, but I think the point was more to help me understand why certain well-known lessons in life, such as be honest when possible or do not go to bed angry with your partner, really affect who you might become as you get older. The main value of this book is that it has helped me project myself more positively in later life. Might sound silly, but there are so many messages out there that state that getting old is "all downhill".

    I am not too convinced by the slightly forced tendency to glorify the elderly wisdom (as a social scientist, he should show a little more impartiality I believe), but nonetheless I respect the authors' objective of giving some value to what older folks have to teach us, rather than say consider them obsolete.
    Report
  • Donato
    5.0 out of 5 stars Man sollte sich nicht daran stören, dass ...
    Reviewed in Germany on January 29, 2016
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    ... der Autor betont, das es die "weisesten" Amerikaner sind, die hier zu Wort kommen. Die Menschen die hier zu Wort kommen haben einfach ein langes Leben gelebt und das transzendiert auch die Tatsache, das es Amerikaner sind. Möglicherweise hat dies der Mensch, der sich diesen Titel ausgedacht hat, nur nicht begriffen - oder aber einen bestimmten Zungenschlag hinein bringen wollen. Anyway ...
    Ich habe noch nicht ganz so lange gelebt, wie die "Experten" - so nennt der Autor seine Gesprächspartner - aber ich habe meine eigenen Erfahrungen bestätigt gefunden. Jede einzelne - zum Guten und zum Schlechten. Einerseits denke ich mir, das ist das Buch, das ich vor 45 Jahren gebraucht hätte. Anderseits bleibt der Zweifel, ob ich es damals gelesen, geschweige den die Ratschläge umgesetzt hätte. Für den einen oder anderen jungen Menschen, dem die Ratschläge und Einsichten nicht zu uncool sind könnte es ein guter Ersatz für wohlwollende, nachdenkliche und humorvolle Großeltern sein. Hier werden keine Lifestyle-Philosophien und rotzigen Sprüche feilgeboten, neue Ernährungsweisen propagiert oder sonstige Hedonismen gefeiert. Dieses Buch ist ziemlich retro, aber es steht mit zwei Beinen im echten, gelebten Leben. Wie heißt es so schön: Hinterher ist man immer klüger.
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  • Heather
    5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone could benefit from this book
    Reviewed in Canada on December 29, 2012
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    As I read this wonderful book I found myself thinking of all the people I know who could benefit from it. I loaned it to a friend who raved about it, and bought her own copy and more copies to give away. I just gave away several copies for Christmas and my extended family is now passing them around and talking about all the interesting points. This book covers all the bases from marriage, career, parenting, aging, and general living without regrets, but it does it differently than anything I've ever seen -- this is information from the perspective of people in their 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond who have seen and live with the results of their decisions and actions.
    The book is a very straightforward read and is not preachy -- rather it uses anecdotes and examples to illustrate the points. Much of it seems like it should be common sense, but in so many cases we seem to have lost sight of what common sense is these days. It helps to get you thinking long-term about some of the choices you're facing now, and may impact what you decide to do about key things such as career decisions and interactions with family.
    A very worthwhile read.
    Report