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Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday LivesAmazon Videos

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Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life Kindle Edition

by Gretchen Rubin (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

3,981 ratings

Goodreads Choice Award nominee

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The author of The Happiness Project and “a force for real change” (Brené Brown) examines how changing our habits can change our lives.

“If anyone can help us stop procrastinating, start exercising, or get organized, it’s Gretchen Rubin. The happiness guru takes a sledgehammer to old-fashioned notions about change.”—Parade

Most of us have a habit we’d like to change, and there’s no shortage of expert advice. But as we all know from tough experience, no magic, one-size-fits-all solution exists. It takes work to make a habit, but once that habit is set, we can harness the energy of habits to build happier, stronger, more productive lives.

In Better Than Before, acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin identifies every approach that actually works. She presents a practical, concrete framework to allow readers to understand their habits—and to change them for good.

Infused with Rubin’s compelling voice, rigorous research, and easy humor, and packed with vivid stories of lives transformed, Better Than Before explains the (sometimes counterintuitive) core principles of habit formation and answers the most perplexing questions about habits:

• Why do we find it tough to create a habit for something we love to do?
• How can we keep our healthy habits when we’re surrounded by temptations?
• How can we help someone else change a habit?

Rubin reveals the true secret to habit change: first, we must know ourselves. When we shape our habits to suit ourselves, we can find success—even if we’ve failed before.

Whether you want to eat more healthfully, stop checking devices, or finish a project, the invaluable ideas in Better Than Before will start you working on your own habits—even before you’ve finished the book.

From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“We are totally comfortable calling Gretchen Rubin’s new book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, life-changing.”
—Better Homes & Gardens

“If anyone can help us stop procrastinating, start exercising or get organized, it’s Gretchen Rubin. The happiness guru takes a sledgehammer to old-fashioned notions about change.”
—Parade

“It’s exciting to find a self-help book that’s not only full of eye-opening insight but also provides practical tips to help you procrastinate and stress less, exercise and eat more healthfully, and spend time on activities that matter. We’re really glad that Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, decided to investigate her affinity for habits, because in the process she’s come up with a great guide to help us lay the foundation of a more satisfying life. Best of all, Better Than Before is a really fun read—Rubin’s friendliness, candor, and humor mirror a lively conversation with a best friend.” —Apple iBooks

“The Happiness Project lays out life’s essential goals…Her new book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, serves as a kind of detailed instruction manual on how to achieve them.” —New York Times Sunday Book Review

“In Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, Gretchen Rubin picks up where [William] James left off, integrating a wealth of insight from psychology, sociology, and anthropology in an illuminating field guide to harnessing the transformative power of habit in modern life.”
—Brain Pickings

“Change can be good. Particularly if it helps us live longer, healthier, indeed, happier lives — the objective of Rubin’s latest project.”
—Chicago Tribune

“Author Gretchen Rubin says most people fall into one of four motivation types. Knowing yours is key to taking on new habits.”
—Lifehacker

“Gretchen Rubin… [is] lighthearted and inviting—full of insights that sound familiar and advice that sounds less like what you should do and more like what you want to do.... With her focus on taking first steps and creating early successes, this is a refreshing take on how to change stubborn patterns that limit what we can enjoy about our lives.” —Audiofile Magazine

“Do you have a bad habit you’re trying to shake, or a good one you wish you could cultivate? Gretchen Rubin is one of the most charming and erudite authors of her generation. Here, she uses her gifts to help you eat right, sleep well, stop procrastinating, and start enjoying all that life has to offer.”
—Susan Cain, New York Times bestselling author of Quiet

“Gretchen Rubin combines deep research and observations from her own life to explain how habits emerge and—more important—how they can change. It’s indispensable for anyone hoping to overhaul how they (almost unthinkingly) behave.”
—Charles Duhigg, New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Habit

“Filled with insights about our patterns of behavior, Better Than Before addresses one of life’s big and timeless questions: how can we transform ourselves? In a way that’s thought-provoking, surprising, and often funny, Gretchen Rubin provides us with the tools to build a life that truly reflects our goals and values.”
—Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post and New York Times bestselling author of Thrive

“Is there a habit in your life you’d like to change? If so, here’s your first step: Read this book. It’s loaded with practical, everyday tips and techniques that will guide you to success.”
—Dan Heath, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Made to Stick, Switch, and Decisive

“Almost everyone wants to be ‘better’—slimmer, smarter, better looking, more interesting, more productive—and we want to know we’re improving, we want the reinforcing evidence. Gretchen Rubin’s new masterpiece, Better Than Before, shows us how. Unlike other books on habits, Rubin’s book gives us the specific tools and a blueprint for getting back on track—the fast track.”
—Brian Wansink, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Slim by Design and Mindless Eating

“With bold and original insights, Gretchen Rubin reveals the hidden truths about how to change our habits—from resisting junk food and hitting the gym to ending procrastination and saving money. Better Than Before is a gem, and the first habit you should form is reading a chapter every night.”
—Adam Grant, Wharton professor and New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take

“Gretchen Rubin’s superpower is curiosity. Luckily for us, she’s turned her passionate inquiry to the topic of making and mastering habits. Weaving together research, unforgettable examples, and her brilliant insight, Better Than Before is a force for real change. It rearranged what I thought I knew about my habits, and I’m better for it.”
—Brené Brown, New York Times bestselling author of Daring Greatly andThe Gifts of Imperfection

About the Author

GRETCHEN RUBIN is the author of several books, including the blockbuster #1 New York Times bestseller The Happiness Project. Rubin started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor when she realized that she really wanted to be a writer. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. Visit Gretchen at gretchenrubin.com.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

A NOTE TO THE READER
Better Than Before tackles the question: How do we change? One answer—by using habits.
Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life. We repeat about 40 percent of our behavior almost daily, so our habits shape our existence, and our future. If we change our habits, we change our lives.

But that observation just raises another question: Okay, then, how do we change our habits? That’s what this book seeks to answer.
But while Better Than Before explores how to change your habits, it won’t tell you what particular habits to form. It won’t tell you to exercise first thing in the morning, or to eat dessert twice a week, or to clear out your office. (Well, actually, there is one area where I do say what habit I think is best. But only one.)

The fact is, no one-size-fits-all solution exists. It’s easy to dream that if we copy the habits of productive, creative people, we’ll win similar success. But we each must cultivate the habits that work for us. Some people do better when they start small; others when they start big. Some people need to be held accountable; some defy account- ability. Some thrive when they give themselves an occasional break from their good habits; others when they never break the chain. No wonder habit formation is so hard.

The most important thing is to know ourselves, and to choose the strategies that work for us.
Before you begin, identify a few habits that you’d like to adopt, or changes you’d like to make. Then, as you read, consider what steps you want to try. You may even want to note today’s date on your book’s flyleaf, so you’ll remember when you began the process of change.
To help you shape your habits, I regularly post suggestions on my blog, and I’ve also created many resources to help you make your life better than before. But I hope that the most compelling inspiration is the book you hold in your hands.

I see habits through the lens of my own experience, so this ac- count is colored by my particular personality and interests. “Well,” you might think, “if everyone forms habits differently, why should I bother to read a book about what someone else did?”

During my study of habits and happiness, I’ve noticed something surprising: I often learn more from one person’s idiosyncratic experiences than I do from scientific studies or philosophical treatises. For this reason, Better Than Before is packed with individual examples of habit changes. You may not be tempted by Nutella, or travel too much for work, or struggle to keep a gratitude journal, but we can all learn from each other.
It’s simple to change habits, but it’s not easy.

I hope that reading Better Than Before will encourage you to harness the power of habits to make change in your own life. Whenever you read this, and wherever you are, you’re in the right place to begin.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BEGIN
Some habit-formation strategies are familiar and obvious—like Monitoring or Scheduling—but others took me more time to understand. As I studied habits, I slowly began to recognize the tremendous importance of the time of beginning.

The most important step is the first step. All those old sayings are really true. Well begun is half done. Don’t get it perfect, get it going. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Nothing is more exhausting than the task that’s never started, and strangely, starting is often far harder than continuing.

That first step is tough. Every action has an ignition cost: getting myself to the gym and changed into my gym clothes can be more challenging than actually working out. That’s why good habits are a tremendous help: they make the starting process automatic.
Without yet having a name for it, in fact, I’d invoked the power of the Strategy of First Steps as I was starting to write this book. I’d spent months reading and taking copious notes, and I had a giant document with a jumble of material about habits. This initial period of research for a book is always exhilarating, but eventually I have to begin the painstaking labor of actual analysis and writing.

What was the most auspicious date to start? I asked myself. The first day of the week, or the month, or the year? Or my birthday? Or the start of the school year? Then I realized that I was beginning to invoke tomorrow logic.

Nope. Begin now. I was ready. Take the first step. It’s enough to begin.
Now is an unpopular time to take a first step. Won’t things be easier—for some not-quite-specified reason—in the future? I have a fantasy of what I’ll be like tomorrow: Future-Gretchen will spontaneously start a good new habit, with no planning and no effort necessary; it’s quite pleasant to think about how virtuous I’ll be, tomorrow. But there is no Future-Gretchen, only Now-Gretchen.

A friend told me about how she used tomorrow logic: “I use a kind of magical thinking to procrastinate. I make up questionable rules like ‘I can’t start working at 10:10, I need to start on the hour’ or ‘It’s already 4:00, it’s too late to start working.’ But the truth is that I should just start.” It’s common to hear people say, “I’ll start my new habit after the holidays are over/I’ve settled into my new job/my kids are a little older.” Or worse, the double-remove: “I’ll start my new habit once I’m back in shape.”

Tomorrow logic wastes time, and also it may allow us to deny that our current actions clash with our intentions. In an argument worthy of the White Queen, we tell ourselves, absolutely, I’m committed to reading aloud to my children, and I will read to them tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow—just not today.

The same tendency can lead us to overcommit to responsibilities that take place in the comfortably distant future—but eventually the future arrives, and then we’re stuck. My father-in-law has a mental habit to correct for that kind of tomorrow logic. He told me, “If I’m asked to do something—give a speech, attend an event—I always imagine that it’s happening next week. It’s too easy to agree to do something that’s six months off, then the time comes, and I’m sorry I agreed to do it.”

When taking the first step toward a new habit, a key question from the Strategy of Distinctions is “Do I prefer to take small steps or big steps?”

Many people succeed best when they keep their starting steps as small and manageable as possible; by doing so, they gain the habit of the habit, and the feeling of mastery. They begin their new yoga routine by doing three poses, or start work on a big writing project by drafting a single sentence in a writing session.

As an exercise zealot, I was pleased when my mother told me that she was trying to make a habit of going for a daily walk.

“But I’m having trouble sticking to it,” she told me.

“How far are you going?”

“Twice around Loose Park,” she told me, “which is about two miles.”

“Try going just once around the park,” I suggested. That worked. When she started smaller, she was able to form the habit.

Small steps can be particularly helpful when we’re trying to do something that seems overwhelming. If I can get myself to take that first small step, I usually find that I can keep going. I invoked this principle when I was prodding myself to master Scrivener, a writers’ software program. Scrivener would help me organize my enormous trove of notes, but I dreaded starting: installing the software; synchronizing between my laptop and desktop computers; and most difficult, figuring out how to use it.

Each day gave me a new opportunity to push the task off until tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’d feel like dealing with it. “Start now,” I finally thought. “Just take the first step.” I started with the smallest possible step, which was to find the website where I could buy the software. Okay, I thought. I can do that. And then I did. I had a lot of hard work ahead of me—it’s a Secret of Adulthood: things often get harder before they get easier—but I’d started. The next day, with a feeling of much greater confidence and calm, I watched the tutorial video. Then I created my document. And then—I started my book.
However, some people do better when they push themselves more boldly; a big challenge holds their interest and helps them persist. A friend was determined to learn French, so he moved to France for six months.

Along those lines, the Blast Start can be a helpful way to take a first step. The Blast Start is the opposite of taking the smallest possible first step because it requires a period of high commitment. It’s demanding, but its intensity can energize a habit. For instance, after reading Chris Baty’s book No Plot? No Problem!—which explains how to write a novel in a month—I wrote a novel in thirty days, as a way to spark my creativity. This kind of shock treatment can’t be maintained forever, but it’s fun and gives momentum to the habit. A twenty-one-day project, a detox, a cleanse, an ambitious goal, a boot camp—by tackling more instead of less for a certain period, I get a surge of energy and focus. (Not to mention bragging rights.) In particular, I love the retreat model. Three times, I’ve set aside a few days to work on a book during every waking hour, with breaks only for meals and for exercise. These periods of intensity help fuel my daily writing habit.

However, a Blast Start is, by definition, unsustainable over the long term. It’s very important to plan specifically how to shift from the intensity of the Blast Start into the habit that will continue indefinitely.

There’s no right way or wrong way, just whatever works.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00NRQOR8K
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown
Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 17, 2015
Edition ‏ : ‎ Reprint
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 4.0 MB
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 322 pages
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0385348621
Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #76,696 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #152 in Happiness
- #212 in Personal Transformation
- #224 in Success eBooks

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Gretchen Rubin

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Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature.

Her previous books include the #1 New York Times bestseller THE HAPPINESS PROJECT, as well as the bestselling books BETTER THAN BEFORE, HAPPIER AT HOME, THE FOUR TENDENCIES, and OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM. Her latest book is LIFE IN FIVE SENSES.

She’s the host of the popular, award-winning podcast "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," where she and her co-host (and sister) Elizabeth Craft explore strategies and insights about how to make life happier. As the founder of The Happiness Project, she has helped create imaginative products for people to use in their own happiness projects.

She has been interviewed by Oprah, eaten dinner with Nobel Prize-winner Daniel Kahneman, walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, had her work reported on in a medical journal, been written up in the New Yorker, and been an answer on Jeopardy!

Gretchen Rubin started her career in law, and she realized she wanted to be a writer while she was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her family.

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Customers find the book well-written and engaging, with practical advice and easy-to-follow examples. The book provides great insight into habit formation, with one customer noting it's packed with habit stories. Customers appreciate the personal examples, with one highlighting the four personality descriptions, and find the writing style relatable and chatty. The book includes solid lists of additional resources, making it a valuable resource for improving one's life.

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Readability Insight Advice level Ease of use Personality traits Writing style Encyclopedia content

262 customers mention "Readability"250 positive12 negative

Customers find the book well-written and interesting to read, describing it as a great thought exercise.

"...It is a very fast-paced, well-written book that gives many practical suggestions on how to leverage habits to serve our long-term well-being and..." Read more

"...spotlight into darker corners, makes the books useful and exciting in a comprehensive way...." Read more

"Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives..." Read more

"...It is interesting and can be insightful, but as someone already familiar with habits after reading The Power of Habit (highly recommend!!),..." Read more

207 customers mention "Insight"199 positive8 negative

Customers appreciate the book's insights into habits, particularly its simple suggestions for building better ones and its in-depth exploration of the habit-formation process.

"...most directly strengthen self-control – sleeping, movement, eating and drinking right, unclutter...." Read more

"...brings personal anecdote to bear, creates a coherent and actionable scenario, and shines a brighter spotlight into darker corners, makes the books..." Read more

"...The objective of this section is to understand your responses to expectations – Gretchen outlines four tendencies or behavioral patterns we act..." Read more

"...filled with common sense, logic, and anecdotes that illustrate points about habit formation that Gretchen Rubin discovered while researching the book..." Read more

129 customers mention "Advice level"129 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's advice practical and useful, providing helpful ideas and steps to improve their lives.

"...It is a very fast-paced, well-written book that gives many practical suggestions on how to leverage habits to serve our long-term well-being and..." Read more

"...scenario, and shines a brighter spotlight into darker corners, makes the books useful and exciting in a comprehensive way...." Read more

"...She does, however, give some practical advice about how to choose whether a specific habit is right for you, and when to give it up...." Read more

"...This book is all about practical steps to improve your life, but is really focused on the fact that our personalities are a major determining factor..." Read more

52 customers mention "Ease of use"45 positive7 negative

Customers find the book easy to follow, with clear examples and techniques that are immediately implementable.

"I really loved this book by Gretchen Rubin. It is a very fast-paced, well-written book that gives many practical suggestions on how to leverage..." Read more

"...The book is filled with common sense, logic, and anecdotes that illustrate points about habit formation that Gretchen Rubin discovered while..." Read more

"...She says that this category has an easier time adopting habits, which I find true for myself...." Read more

"...You’ll find not only tips and tricks you can implement immediately, but also lots of things to watch out for that might sabotage you if you’re not..." Read more

40 customers mention "Personality traits"34 positive6 negative

Customers appreciate the book's approach to understanding personality, as it provides four different descriptions and includes many personal examples.

"...These are: • Monitoring – self-measurement brings awareness and it prevents us from fooling ourselves. •..." Read more

"...Somehow, the way Ms. Rubin organizes her material, brings personal anecdote to bear, creates a coherent and actionable scenario, and shines a..." Read more

"I love Gretchen Rubin's writing. She focuses so much on the personalization of the information, the fact that it doesn't apply the same to everyone!..." Read more

"...I always make my goals SMART, that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound...." Read more

27 customers mention "Writing style"20 positive7 negative

Customers enjoy the writing style of the book, finding it relatable and engaging with great quotes and chatty dialogue.

"...Note #6: There are great quotes at the start of each chapter – several from Samuel Johnson and Montaigne have me more interest in their writings as..." Read more

"...In other words, her writing is the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down. She begins by exploring the topic of self awareness...." Read more

"...and research-based content with a warm, inviting, and conversational style...." Read more

"...Her tone is condescending and elitist--not everyone can be an upholder like her. She has trouble relating to people on a human-level...." Read more

22 customers mention "Encyclopedia content"16 positive6 negative

Customers appreciate the book's comprehensive content, noting it is chock full of examples and solid list of additional resources, with one customer highlighting its perfect blend of science and the arts.

"...self-control – sleeping, movement, eating and drinking right, unclutter...." Read more

"...There were so many quotable gems in this book. I read it cover to cover, and it gave me so much to think about...." Read more

"...My primary issue is that framework doesn't make sense for me...." Read more

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Mike Mertens
Individual Flourishing, Human Happiness – and developing a path to making habits serve our lives and well-being
Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2015
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I really loved this book by Gretchen Rubin. It is a very fast-paced, well-written book that gives many practical suggestions on how to leverage habits to serve our long-term well-being and happiness.

She begins with the importance of self-knowledge. She lays out a simple framework based on how individuals generally respond to internal and external expectations (Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels) and then makes some distinctions for each of us to think through in order to better understand ourselves. She does not offer a one-size-fits–all solution. Rather, she advocates that we use self-knowledge to understand how we can apply habits in the service of our lives.

After self-knowledge, she discusses 4 Pillars of Habits. These are:
• Monitoring – self-measurement brings awareness and it prevents us from fooling ourselves.
• Foundations – we need to focus on “first things first” and she notes the areas that will most directly strengthen self-control – sleeping, movement, eating and drinking right, unclutter. One of my favorite ideas from this section was the one-minute rule (if you can do a task in less than a minute, do it) – and I have already used it to my benefit
• Scheduling – scheduling makes us confront the time limits of the day and realize that we need to make choices. It can even help by making sure we schedule time for leisure. Her is a great quote: “How we schedule our days is how we live our lives.”
• Accountability – we must actually follow the habit

The best time to begin is now. She discusses the danger of “tomorrow logic” – the key is to take the first step and then make the temporary permanent. Throughout the book she offers many “secrets of adulthood”, 2 of my favorites are on how to make habits more convenient:
• “The biggest waste of time is to do well something that we need not do at all”
• “Make it easy to do right, and hard to go wrong”

She has a lot of useful ideas on how to make sure we keep habits on track. Here are a few that I found useful:
• Anticipate and minimize temptation – plan for failure (a good technique in this regard that is not covered in the book is Gary Klein’s idea of the pre-mortem – he discusses it for projects but the same concept could be applied to habits)
• Use If-then planning to stick to good habits
• Avoid Loopholes – she notes 10 categories of loopholes including moral licensing (permission to do bad because I was good), the tomorrow loophole, and the one-coin loophole (which is quite fascinating)

She also covers the danger of rewards. We can see a reward as a finish line and that marks a stopping point. Continuous progress is the opposite of a finish line. Making the habits we want rewarding in themselves is important if we want them to last a lifetime.

We need clarity of values and clarity of action to support habit formation – when we have conflicting goals, we don’t manage ourselves well. This is one of the reasons that self-knowledge is so important. We need to be clear on our values so we can understand how to connect the habit to the value that it serves. We want habits that serve our lives – as she notes early in the book “habit is a good servant but a bad master.”

I really enjoyed reading this book and I recommend it highly. I have already starting working some of the ideas into the fabric of my life (such as the one minute rule). I am thinking about a question she posed late in the book: “What change would add more happiness to my life?” – that is an important question for each of us to ask so we can develop that habits we need across a lifetime in order to achieve our own self-fulfillment. My thanks to Gretchen Rubin for writing a valuable work for “mastering the habits of our everyday lives.”

Note #1: I took extensive notes while reading the book over the last three days and I was able to begin using ideas right from the start. This is a book I will definitely be coming back to in the future.
Note #2: Remember that her framework notes general tendencies, details will vary for each individual
Note #3: She provides lots of great personal examples throughout the book
Note #4: I recommend the reader also consider these other books on self-control, habits and mindsets: Willpower by Baumeister and Tierney, The Willpower Habit by McGonigal, Mindset by Dweck, The Power of Habit by Duhigg.
Note #5: One’s values are very important but how to think about what one should value is not covered in the book – I think the virtue ethics tradition aligns nicely with this work (for example, Aristotle)
Note #6: There are great quotes at the start of each chapter – several from Samuel Johnson and Montaigne have me more interest in their writings as well.

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Penelope Schmitt
Terrific toolbox for building your own bridges to being Better than Before
Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2015
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I am a regular reader of Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project blog. Each time she publishes a book I buy it out of gratitude for the daily kick I get out of reading and commenting, and the frequent good insights that come up in the blog. I always half expect the book to be 'nothing new', but I AM ALWAYS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. Somehow, the way Ms. Rubin organizes her material, brings personal anecdote to bear, creates a coherent and actionable scenario, and shines a brighter spotlight into darker corners, makes the books useful and exciting in a comprehensive way. Already familiar with the material Rubin has been presenting in her blog? Go ahead and get the book. If your experience is like mine, it will give you a new burst of insights. If you are not already following the blog, the book will be full of great new stuff for you.

I particularly like Rubin's clear statement that there is no one way to create the life we want. She has come up with a typology delineating four basic ways people respond to expectations. What works to motivate some of us, causes others to throw up a brick wall of resistance. I wish I had known more about this when I was raising my kids and teaching or supervising others. Rubin also identifies 'style' dichotomies - things most of us actually know about ourselves, but which we may not consider when we're trying to change. Knowing when we are strongest, our work style, and so forth can help us choose a better strategy for successful change. It's hard enough to change without trying to do it in a way that will never work for you.

I treasure her 'Loophole Spotting' exercise. It humorously ensures we will find NO way to evade knowing we are 'committing' behavior that disappoints us and defeats us. Even as you peruse the menu to pick your personal characteristics and decide on what habits you want to acquire or break, Rubin warns: you won't make a dramatic difference if you give up chewing gum when really you need to give up eating 4,000 calories a day. Like the inebriated man who searches under a bright street lamp for keys he actually lost in a dark alley, we should not look where it is easiest, but where a true solution lies. The habits that really matter to us most, are often the toughest to gain or lose. This honesty is powerful.

Rubin holds her own feet to this fire. I find her ability to reveal herself refreshing. Some readers seem to find this problematic. I find it good to read about the need for effort to improve so straightforwardly faced by a person who might easily have decided she'd achieved everything she needed to know by the time she finished her stint as a Law Clerk for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. I don't feel resentment when I read about Rubin's 'first world' problems. Most of us who are able to buy and read Rubin's book DO suffer from 'first world' problems. These problems are practical and real. We can be wealthy and accomplished, but overtired and obese. We can be creative and clever, but live in a mess. We can be relatively sober, but struggle with cigarettes or credit card debt. Rubin is not out to save our souls, get us out of jail, or do remote rehab, but to help us find a way that WORKS FOR US to make our everyday lives incrementally better.

Better than Before is full of good ideas for doing that. I highly recommend it.

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Raquel
Buy it!
Reviewed in Spain on February 3, 2019
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It’s a must-read for sure.

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Shirly
Worth your time
Reviewed in India on July 3, 2020
Verified Purchase
I read about a book per week and this book struck me as really useful (and u only review when I mean it!). I like her personal style, and her anecdotes. Yes it is more what she did and not like other self help books, but that's what I liked. Also , learning for me:. Reading non fiction on the Kindle app made it super easy to take and see notes and what I liked when highlights (since I hate doing it on paper books,I never make notes there , so this helps)

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Karl Ullrich
Must read BEFORE any self help advice-based book!
Reviewed in Australia on August 31, 2016
Verified Purchase
I wish I had've read this book 300 self help/personal development books earlier!! I've wasted so much time on guru's "systems" that were simply "you too can be like me... even though you're nothing like me!" Now I have a much better idea of who I am and consciously look for the people and strategies that best reflect me, instead of trying to contort my nature to fit someone else's version of who I should be! Can recommend highly enough. Take the stress and guilt and failure out of habit formation - and read this book!

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Amazon Kunde
Great to read.
Reviewed in Germany on December 14, 2016
Format: Mass Market PaperbackVerified Purchase
I ordered the Happiness Project before and I was in love with the writing style so I thought I have to buy another one.
And what can I say.. this book is amazing as well. It is mostly easy to read ( german 18 year old) and there is always a thing you can laugh about in the chapters.

I recommend this book to people who usually don't enjoy reading thick novels or any other who enjoys reading different things than twilight or thriller.

I enjoyed reading it !

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gojody
Fabulous book on how to change your habits in simple and easy ways.
Reviewed in Canada on February 4, 2016
Verified Purchase
Gretchen Rubin is a great author because she does all the research for you and provides you with simple steps to make changes in your life.
This book has a great approach to conquering habit change. Her first approach allows you to look deeply at yourself and then use your core values to help you create new habits. It also looks at why past attempts at habit changes haven't worked. There are tons of strategies in this book that will allow you to take small steps when you want to change a habit.

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Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life Kindle Edition

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Perfect book for people who are introspective enough to want to understand the "why" behind the "how"

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5.0 out of 5 stars Individual Flourishing, Human Happiness – and developing a path to making habits serve our lives and well-being

4.0 out of 5 stars Terrific toolbox for building your own bridges to being Better than Before

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5.0 out of 5 stars Worth your time

5.0 out of 5 stars Must read BEFORE any self help advice-based book!

5.0 out of 5 stars Great to read.

5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous book on how to change your habits in simple and easy ways.

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Individual Flourishing, Human Happiness – and developing a path to making habits serve our lives and well-being

Terrific toolbox for building your own bridges to being Better than Before

Buy it!

Worth your time

Must read BEFORE any self help advice-based book!

Great to read.

Fabulous book on how to change your habits in simple and easy ways.