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Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind
Most people think they listen well, but they rarely do - not at this level. Listening this way is a radical act.
Over the past 15 years, Nancy Kline has identified 10 behaviours that form a system called a Thinking Environment, a model of human interaction that dramatically improves the way people think, and thus the way they work and live. Listening - the quality of people's attention for each other - is the core of this method.
In Time to Think Nancy Kline asserts that as change proliferates in our lives and our organisations, we must prize each other's minds above all else. We must learn how to help people think for themselves. In this book, she describes how we can achieve this and presents a step-by-step guide that can be used in any situation.
Whether you want to have more productive meetings, solve business problems, create bold strategies or build stronger relationships, this book offers you a new world of possibilities.
From blue chip companies developing high-powered teams to individuals seeking personal growth, a Thinking Environment has come to mean transformation of the highest quality.
Over the past 15 years, Nancy Kline has identified 10 behaviours that form a system called a Thinking Environment, a model of human interaction that dramatically improves the way people think, and thus the way they work and live. Listening - the quality of people's attention for each other - is the core of this method.
In Time to Think Nancy Kline asserts that as change proliferates in our lives and our organisations, we must prize each other's minds above all else. We must learn how to help people think for themselves. In this book, she describes how we can achieve this and presents a step-by-step guide that can be used in any situation.
Whether you want to have more productive meetings, solve business problems, create bold strategies or build stronger relationships, this book offers you a new world of possibilities.
From blue chip companies developing high-powered teams to individuals seeking personal growth, a Thinking Environment has come to mean transformation of the highest quality.
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1999
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
November 15, 2019
There is a lot of practical wisdom in this book which describes how we can help each other to think better. It describes a technique which might nowadays be called a form of coaching. It focuses very much on listening - and what I liked was that we talk a lot about the importance of listening, this book really describes how to do it, and how by doing this we can help each other to identify our limiting assumptions and do release our inhibited thinking.
A few niggles: the author occasionally conflates not thinking with not having the confidence to say what you have thought. There is a little peripheral material in the book which does not add to main approach. Finally, I think this is a really good approach, but I don’t quite see it as the solution to everything which you slightly get the sense the author does.
Nevertheless a really worthy read from a true expert guide written with a lot of love.
A few niggles: the author occasionally conflates not thinking with not having the confidence to say what you have thought. There is a little peripheral material in the book which does not add to main approach. Finally, I think this is a really good approach, but I don’t quite see it as the solution to everything which you slightly get the sense the author does.
Nevertheless a really worthy read from a true expert guide written with a lot of love.
June 16, 2020
Summary: This book is shockingly brilliant and potentially life-changing.
I know, right? It looked like nothing special, but the reviews were so glowing, I decided to give it a chance. After all, the ebook costs pracically nothing on Amazon. I'm seriously glad I did and you should too. Seriously.
The book is about a number of things, but the central thing is a model. It is a model for creating Thinking Environments, which will facilitate true thinking in all individuals. There are general guidelines and attitudes and there are crystal clear step-by-step guides for group meetings and one-on-one conversations. Central to the model are listening and giving attention. You might be skeptical about how listening (of all things!) can "ignite the human mind", but I can say that all my reservations melted away, to be replaced with a mixture of clarity, an understanding of my shortcomings as a human being, humbleness, a deep determination to improve myself and sheer fucking awe at what I was experiencing.
Here I was, thinking to myself that, as an educator, my task is to create the conditions for real thinking and imagining that I'm not doing half-bad when BANG, Nancy Kline dropkicks my mind, and not only do I realize all the things I've been doing wrong, I'm also immediately provided the tools to get better than I imagined I could be. As I was reading, I could FEEL my thinking being re-wired. It made me shed a tear. What else could you ever want from a 1€ book?
Whatever limitations and kinks this book has, it trancends them. It's is witty, pragmatic, and achingly sincere. It's enlightened and enlightening. I'm pretty sure some of my gushing reaction stems simply from the surprise of just how unexpected it was and someone else might not be as staggered by it after reading this review, but I just need to express this even if it somehow spoils your surprise. I feel the need to implement its central principles in everything from my relationships to my classroom. I will hand out this book to people. I will talk and gush about it. I will live it or die trying.
I could go on, but I'm afraid people will message me and ask me whether I've lost it, so I'm just going to close with a paragraph from the book that perfectly summarizes its ethos and leave it at that:
"I would like people to wake up each morning knowing that they are going to be able to think for themselves without punishment; that they can be logical, eloquent, bold and imaginative; that their ideas count; that other people are going to pay attention to them, allow them to finish their thoughts and their sentences, help them recognize and remove assumptions that are limiting them, acknowledge them as thinking equals."
I know, right? It looked like nothing special, but the reviews were so glowing, I decided to give it a chance. After all, the ebook costs pracically nothing on Amazon. I'm seriously glad I did and you should too. Seriously.
The book is about a number of things, but the central thing is a model. It is a model for creating Thinking Environments, which will facilitate true thinking in all individuals. There are general guidelines and attitudes and there are crystal clear step-by-step guides for group meetings and one-on-one conversations. Central to the model are listening and giving attention. You might be skeptical about how listening (of all things!) can "ignite the human mind", but I can say that all my reservations melted away, to be replaced with a mixture of clarity, an understanding of my shortcomings as a human being, humbleness, a deep determination to improve myself and sheer fucking awe at what I was experiencing.
Here I was, thinking to myself that, as an educator, my task is to create the conditions for real thinking and imagining that I'm not doing half-bad when BANG, Nancy Kline dropkicks my mind, and not only do I realize all the things I've been doing wrong, I'm also immediately provided the tools to get better than I imagined I could be. As I was reading, I could FEEL my thinking being re-wired. It made me shed a tear. What else could you ever want from a 1€ book?
Whatever limitations and kinks this book has, it trancends them. It's is witty, pragmatic, and achingly sincere. It's enlightened and enlightening. I'm pretty sure some of my gushing reaction stems simply from the surprise of just how unexpected it was and someone else might not be as staggered by it after reading this review, but I just need to express this even if it somehow spoils your surprise. I feel the need to implement its central principles in everything from my relationships to my classroom. I will hand out this book to people. I will talk and gush about it. I will live it or die trying.
I could go on, but I'm afraid people will message me and ask me whether I've lost it, so I'm just going to close with a paragraph from the book that perfectly summarizes its ethos and leave it at that:
"I would like people to wake up each morning knowing that they are going to be able to think for themselves without punishment; that they can be logical, eloquent, bold and imaginative; that their ideas count; that other people are going to pay attention to them, allow them to finish their thoughts and their sentences, help them recognize and remove assumptions that are limiting them, acknowledge them as thinking equals."
May 12, 2022
Why read this book? Because ´thinking for yourself is the only reliable road to real safety: Thinking for yourself leads to more happiness, not less´ as per Kline´s statement.
Nancy Kline shares some best practices in her book on crucial soft skills that are required in an environment that nourishes positive work culture. The 10 components of a thinking environment can be applied in coaching practices to enhance the reflection process for coach/coachee.
Fluently written and a pleasure to read, this book will make you apply the learnings. Always re-reading passages of this book, it has become a constant part of my reflective process!
Nancy Kline shares some best practices in her book on crucial soft skills that are required in an environment that nourishes positive work culture. The 10 components of a thinking environment can be applied in coaching practices to enhance the reflection process for coach/coachee.
Fluently written and a pleasure to read, this book will make you apply the learnings. Always re-reading passages of this book, it has become a constant part of my reflective process!
November 16, 2009
This book was originally sent to me by friends in England. It's the BEST book on listening on the market (and I've read a bunch of these!). I've used it in coaching, given numerous presentations on its principles, and recommend it highly to anyone who wants to transformation their ability to listen well to others.
November 27, 2016
This is the kind of book everyone should read not like me at 41 but at 25
For business minded people: You could become CEO much faster
For non-business minded people: Your life becomes more positive and bright just by using those simple techniques.
For business minded people: You could become CEO much faster
For non-business minded people: Your life becomes more positive and bright just by using those simple techniques.
February 27, 2022
This book may accurately be described as a classic. Published in 1999, it’s core belief and guidelines are even more applicable in our distracted and fast-moving world today than at the time of writing. Author, Nancy Kline believes that “everything we do depends for its quality on the thinking we do first, and our thinking in turn depends on the quality of our attention for each other.” We are always told that listening is an important life skill and there are many books about developing listening skills, but Time to Think connects listening to the results of our thinking and thus ideas and ability to solve problems. The first section of the book details the ten behaviours that help people think for themselves which include not being interrupted, giving everyone equal time and attention and appreciating each other’s ideas. Nancy Kline then applies these to organisations and families. Whenever I apply some of her guidelines to meetings, the quality of the outcome improves and people participate constructively. Time to Think is a book that stood the test of time and well worth reading
Currently reading
March 20, 2010Nancy's mum day before she died
The quality of a person's attention determines the quality of other peoples' thinking.
Blocks to listening were almost always assumptions being made by the thinker unawares, assumptions that seemed like truth.
Create a particular environment and people will think for themselves.
A thinking environemnt = a set of conditions under which people can think for themselves and think well together.
10 components:
1. Attention= listening with respect, interest and fascination.
Only time will get bored when listening is if people are not saying what they really think, when they are chronically ducking and censoring or trying to impress or placate.
2. Incisive questions = removing assumptions that limit ideas.
3. Equality = treating each other as thinking peers by giving equal turns and attention AND keeping agreements and boundaries..
4. Appreciation= 5:1 ratio appreciation to criticism
5. Ease = offering freedom from rush or urgency
6. Encouragement = moving beyond competition
7. Feelings = allowing sufficient emotional release to restore thinking.
8. Information = providing a full and accurate picture of reality.
9. Place = creating a physical enironment that says back to people 'you matter'.
10. Diversity = adding quality because of the differences between us.
The quality of a person's attention determines the quality of other peoples' thinking.
Blocks to listening were almost always assumptions being made by the thinker unawares, assumptions that seemed like truth.
Create a particular environment and people will think for themselves.
A thinking environemnt = a set of conditions under which people can think for themselves and think well together.
10 components:
1. Attention= listening with respect, interest and fascination.
Only time will get bored when listening is if people are not saying what they really think, when they are chronically ducking and censoring or trying to impress or placate.
2. Incisive questions = removing assumptions that limit ideas.
3. Equality = treating each other as thinking peers by giving equal turns and attention AND keeping agreements and boundaries..
4. Appreciation= 5:1 ratio appreciation to criticism
5. Ease = offering freedom from rush or urgency
6. Encouragement = moving beyond competition
7. Feelings = allowing sufficient emotional release to restore thinking.
8. Information = providing a full and accurate picture of reality.
9. Place = creating a physical enironment that says back to people 'you matter'.
10. Diversity = adding quality because of the differences between us.
September 16, 2017
A practical and inspiring guide that introduces you to a system and a way of living that will help remove limiting beliefs. I personally found it revolutionary and through implementing and practicing it at work and with people around me am building a stronger, more collaborative environment both for my organisation and in my home.
August 31, 2023
Attention, Incisive Questions, and Appreciation
The quality of your attention directly affects the quality of another person's thinking. This point can’t be understated. Paying good attention brings out the best in others, making them articulate and creative. Poor attention can cause them to falter and struggle.
One common illustration of this is that when people share their problems, we often leap into solution mode.
The quality of your attention directly affects the quality of another person's thinking. This point can’t be understated. Paying good attention brings out the best in others, making them articulate and creative. Poor attention can cause them to falter and struggle.
One common illustration of this is that when people share their problems, we often leap into solution mode.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 7, 2019
I loved this book. The concept is very clear, very easy to follow and the latter part of this book includes very useful examples of how to create listening environment, something I found super helpful in my own coaching practice as well as when listening to others.
June 4, 2021
In Time to Think, Nancy Kline introduces us to a genuinely powerful idea... and then deconstructs it, rationalises it, puts bizarre and overbearing scaffolding round it, and waves her hands mystically for good measure.
As with so, so many of these business and self-help books, this is a pamphlet worth of content spread over a couple of hundred pages, like spreading those individual café portions of butter on an entire loaf of bread. Most rely on anecdotes, quotes from like-minded thinkers, a smattering of statistics, and oodles of social proof. Kline does so with aplomb, so you'll think you know what you're getting. There might be the odd "hmm, I don't think that adds up" moment, but that is again very common in this line of work.
And then the author takes a hard left into straight up quackery, going so far as to claim her approach to listening can cure cancer. And has! Her own! And like a cheated-on partner, you're mentally looking back on all the red flags and wondering why you didn't piece it together sooner.
I wanted to give this two stars, because although it's a naff book, it does propose some good stuff and makes some valid points. And maybe it works for some people, (The Four Agreements, The Alchemist, MLM, and QAnon "work" for some people,) but I can't in good conscience recommend cult pseudoscience on the grounds that some of it makes sense.
As with so, so many of these business and self-help books, this is a pamphlet worth of content spread over a couple of hundred pages, like spreading those individual café portions of butter on an entire loaf of bread. Most rely on anecdotes, quotes from like-minded thinkers, a smattering of statistics, and oodles of social proof. Kline does so with aplomb, so you'll think you know what you're getting. There might be the odd "hmm, I don't think that adds up" moment, but that is again very common in this line of work.
And then the author takes a hard left into straight up quackery, going so far as to claim her approach to listening can cure cancer. And has! Her own! And like a cheated-on partner, you're mentally looking back on all the red flags and wondering why you didn't piece it together sooner.
I wanted to give this two stars, because although it's a naff book, it does propose some good stuff and makes some valid points. And maybe it works for some people, (The Four Agreements, The Alchemist, MLM, and QAnon "work" for some people,) but I can't in good conscience recommend cult pseudoscience on the grounds that some of it makes sense.
January 6, 2022
What the description fails to mention: healing cancer by thinking positively, and a bit more of alt-med crap. It’s not strongly based on science and often smells of rubbish self-improvement books. Still, the middle part offers some advice on how to listen well and encourage good thinking.
There is a framework you can use to guide a conversation. The observations on what works and what does not work are not-obvious and seem to be correct. The description is clear enough to put those recommendations into practice.
There are some parts that need to be skimmed during reading. The book begins with a “selling” part, where the author repeats on and on why her theory is so much important. Then there is the good practical part, and then the last part, where the author takes her grand theory (you know, a theory with a capital “T”) and tries to apply it to every single problem in the world, from healthcare, through politics to sex. Oh, dear.
The text is filled with pompous adjectives. Not a pleasure for a non-native English speaker, but usually the meaning is clear enough from the context. The style is like of a preacher (maybe because of author’s background), and a bit stinks of creationism (“our minds were designed with the most breathtaking accuracy”). Clearly, the book was written before people talked much about cognitive biases.
There is a framework you can use to guide a conversation. The observations on what works and what does not work are not-obvious and seem to be correct. The description is clear enough to put those recommendations into practice.
There are some parts that need to be skimmed during reading. The book begins with a “selling” part, where the author repeats on and on why her theory is so much important. Then there is the good practical part, and then the last part, where the author takes her grand theory (you know, a theory with a capital “T”) and tries to apply it to every single problem in the world, from healthcare, through politics to sex. Oh, dear.
The text is filled with pompous adjectives. Not a pleasure for a non-native English speaker, but usually the meaning is clear enough from the context. The style is like of a preacher (maybe because of author’s background), and a bit stinks of creationism (“our minds were designed with the most breathtaking accuracy”). Clearly, the book was written before people talked much about cognitive biases.
January 6, 2014
Nancy's proposal around a Thinking Environment is deceptively simple but yet extremely powerful. I really enjoyed reading this book, it is engaging, instructive and with the right number of anecdotes to make it fun but not overly schmaltzy. I am definitely going to try out the formats she suggested in my coaching sessions but also with friends when I am trying to solve a thorny issue. I came away energised and excited about the whole idea.
I would have liked a summary of the key frameworks at the end, especially the 6 steps as I think they are exceptionally valuable.
I would have liked a summary of the key frameworks at the end, especially the 6 steps as I think they are exceptionally valuable.
June 2, 2017
Fantastic book.
It tell you the importance of listening. To listen means to respect. To listen means to understand.
When you listen to someone you give them time and space to think and they will love you for that. They produce better ideas, they feel valued, they feel appreciated.
This book is for companies as well as individuals. It is a must read.
It tell you the importance of listening. To listen means to respect. To listen means to understand.
When you listen to someone you give them time and space to think and they will love you for that. They produce better ideas, they feel valued, they feel appreciated.
This book is for companies as well as individuals. It is a must read.
January 5, 2021
I found the book to be highly inspirational, and read many things I am currently trying with my wife, children and colleagues.
I liked the books pace and message, maybe it could benefit from sharing a bit more of the research behind Thinking Environments.
I liked the books pace and message, maybe it could benefit from sharing a bit more of the research behind Thinking Environments.
April 28, 2014
Nancy is right. We need to STFU.
September 1, 2023
Unlock the thinking potential within yourself and others.
Have you ever been in a bustling crowd, yet felt like the only person in the room because someone gave you their undivided attention?
The late Diana, Princess of Wales had an extraordinary ability to create this feeling in others, embodying a principle we'll call the Thinking Environment. Her presence would dissolve nervousness, making individuals feel like they truly mattered. She had the unique knack of turning the spotlight on others, even in a room full of people there to see her.
Why is this relevant? Well, the quality of everything we do is directly connected to the thinking we do beforehand, which is influenced by the quality of attention we receive from others. Whether in organizations, families, or personal relationships, establishing a Thinking Environment can foster an abundance of good ideas, spur action, and ensure that individuals thrive.
So how do you create such an environment? It involves a mixture of undivided attention, questioning that eliminates limiting assumptions, and fostering conditions conducive to independent thought.
In this book, we’ll cover all of these factors in detail and delve into the world of the Thinking Environment, where you'll discover how to refine your listening, questioning, and appreciating to unlock your thinking potential, and that of others.
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The Thinking Environment
There are ten overall conditions for creating a Thinking Environment, but let’s focus here on three of its core pillars – Attention, Incisive Questions, and Appreciation.
The quality of your attention directly affects the quality of another person's thinking. This point can’t be understated. Paying good attention brings out the best in others, making them articulate and creative. Poor attention can cause them to falter and struggle.
One common illustration of this is that when people share their problems, we often leap into solution mode. We believe that's what they're seeking. But how often does the other person actually end up following your advice? Or maybe they did follow it, but it didn’t resolve the situation in a way that was totally satisfying to them?
It’s usually better to allow people the opportunity to use their own cognitive faculties to find a solution. After all, the mind grappling with a problem is usually also capable of finding its solution. And the solution they find themselves is one they’ll more readily follow.
So, instead of rushing to provide advice, offer people the space to explore their own thoughts first. By simply listening and asking questions such as, "What else comes to mind?" or "What else do you think?” you can help them uncover fresh ideas and perspectives.
When speaking with someone, it’s also essential to resist the temptation to interrupt or finish their sentences. This stifles their creativity and denies them the opportunity to express themselves fully. And be sure to maintain eye contact. It's a powerful way to show your full attention and presence, affirming that the other person’s ideas matter.
Another crucial component of the Thinking Environment is Incisive Questions. Incisive Questions are designed to eliminate limiting assumptions – those negative beliefs that act as barriers to our thought process – and inspire fresh thinking.
Let's imagine a scenario: You're hesitant to approach your boss, Neil, due to a fear that he'll dismiss your ideas as stupid. Beneath that fear, you discover a deeper assumption: the belief that you might genuinely be inadequate or stupid. This kind of limiting assumption restricts your actions and potential, preventing you from pursuing what you want or need.
Now, let's consider how to handle such a situation. A well-meaning colleague might tell you to simply ignore Neil's possible reaction and assert yourself. But this advice doesn't effectively address your limiting assumption, and hence, doesn't encourage you to change your behavior.
An Incisive Question, on the other hand, can be transformative. It prompts you to reassess your limiting assumption, engage with a more empowering belief, and explore new possibilities. For instance, replacing the limiting assumption of being stupid with the freeing assumption of being intelligent can be done by posing the question, "If you knew that you were intelligent, how would you talk to Neil?"
Finally, for the third condition of a Thinking Environment, let’s discuss Appreciation, which greatly influences a person's capacity for independent thought. Genuine praise helps people think for themselves much better than repeated criticism.
To that end, try to maintain a five-to-one ratio of appreciation to criticism in your interactions. And when delivering criticism, always start and end with positive notes. Concentrate not on every flaw you can think of but on the main one that, if corrected, would drive significant improvement. This approach ensures that the critique is received as a constructive suggestion and makes the person much more likely to make a change.
To elevate thinking in your surroundings more broadly, simple, sincere appreciation can go a long way. Take a moment to acknowledge the positives in others and express them honestly. Try it out today. Think of someone you admire or appreciate, someone you may not have praised openly for a while, or ever. Choose some words to express your admiration – and then tell them! Repeat this act on a weekly basis, ensuring your words are authentic and heartfelt.
By practicing the principles of Attention, Incisive Questions, and Appreciation, we can all help ourselves and others to uncover innovative ideas, remove limiting assumptions, and maintain a positive mindset.
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Improving organizational thinking
Every single day, we're influenced by the choices made by a range of organizations. Whether they're companies, schools, or governments, they decide everything from how we work to what we eat and even what we spend our money on. The decisions they make are a direct reflection of the quality of thinking within them. And the quality of thinking is, in turn, shaped by how the group members treat each other when they're in the process of decision-making.
Let's consider team meetings. They're the heart of group thinking in any organization. Making sure that these meetings act as a cradle for nurturing thought – a Thinking Environment – can be a secret superpower.
It starts by making sure everyone in the meeting gets a chance to speak. This part is crucial, because all too often, it’s only the quickest and most vocal people who dominate meetings. That means a lot of good ideas go unsaid – or even unthought! After all, people think when they speak. Denying them a turn to speak, then, denies them a turn to think.
So, open every meeting by going around the room and asking everyone what’s currently going well in their work. This creates a feel-good base from which to tackle any problems that may arise later. When the time comes to discuss the first item on the agenda, let everyone have a go at it. Make sure that everyone gets to have their say without any interruption. This approach will boost group intelligence and allow ideas to flow more freely and rapidly.
The same principles can supercharge brainstorming sessions. Allowing each person to contribute their ideas in turn before opening up the floor can lead to more innovative and unique ideas. Incorporating pair discussions, where pairs bounce ideas off each other, can also unearth hidden gems. It all boils down to this: When people are allowed to express their thoughts without interruption, creativity blooms naturally.
Now, when it comes to handling difficult conversations between two people, a technique called Timed Talks can be a game-changer. The rules are simple. Each person gets an uninterrupted three-minute window to express their thoughts, while the other listens respectfully. As soon as one person’s three minutes are up, they must stop talking, even if they’re mid-word. Repeat, taking turns for three minutes each until a solution or stopping point is reached. This method can be used in personal discussions as well as professional ones. It can also be used in positive situations in which you’re looking to come up with a creative solution or solve an interesting problem!
Overall, the focus for organizations should be on fostering a collaborative and non-competitive atmosphere in which everyone's brilliance shines through.
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The Thinking Session
Do you often find yourself acting without giving a situation much thought? Or maybe never acting because you don’t know what to think?
Fortunately, there’s a single solution to both problems: a twice-per-week dedicated Thinking Session. This is a thirty-minute period dedicated to solving a specific problem in your life. Ironically, despite taking up some of your schedule, these Thinking Sessions can save tons of time by altering your approach or transitioning you from passivity to a more effective method.
A Thinking Session requires two people, with one playing the role of the Thinker and the other the Thinking Partner. Each session has six stages.
It begins with the Thinking Partner posing a simple question to the Thinker: "What do you want to think about?" The Thinker then answers, exploring their thoughts fully, without the Thinking Partner interrupting.
When they seem to have nothing left to say, the Thinking Partner asks the Thinker, "Is there anything more you think, feel, or want to say about this?" This simple nudge often reveals more layers of thought. It helps the Thinker break away from the notion they might have that their sharing time should be limited or that their thoughts aren't worthwhile.
The session then progresses to stage two, where the Thinking Partner asks the Thinker what they want the session to achieve at this point. This refocuses their thinking, adds hope, and helps the Thinker prioritize their thoughts. The Thinking Partner needs to listen to the Thinker's response carefully, as the rest of the session hinges on this precision.
Moving on to the third stage, the Thinking Partner encourages the Thinker to reveal the core assumptions that might be keeping them from achieving their goal. This exploration often requires patience and further questioning. Once the assumption is identified, the Thinker is asked to articulate its positive opposite. This could be a shift from "I have no control over my life" to "I am the only one who does have control over my life." This reversal allows for a broader scope of actions and possibilities.
The fourth stage sees the Thinking Partner construct an Incisive Question by combining the Thinker's goal and their positive assumption. This might sound something like, “If you knew that you were the only one who does have control over your life, what would you do to live differently?” The Thinker Partner should repeat this question until the Thinker has exhausted all potential actions. This serves to dismantle barriers and push the Thinker toward their session goal.
In the fifth stage, the Thinker writes down the Incisive Question exactly as stated. This serves as a reference for future use, as often the same question can be instrumental in different scenarios. It's also a good time for the Thinker to note down any action plans that emerged from the session.
Finally, in the sixth stage, the session concludes on an uplifting note, with both partners expressing their appreciation for each other's qualities. It's important to focus on personal attributes rather than the session's content, to maintain an atmosphere of respect and positivity. For example, don’t say “Your ideas were excellent.” Instead, say “I admire the way you take on a challenge.”
In essence, a Thinking Session is a space for unhurried, clear, and transformative thought, creating a path toward effective problem-solving.
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Creating Thinking Environments everywhere
Envision a world where every space is a Thinking Environment. Wherever they go, individuals feel free to voice their ideas, knowing they’ll be heard and not penalized. Imagine the potential that could be unleashed if we all woke up each day confident that our ideas matter – that our thoughts will be heard. And that we’ll be supported in identifying and discarding limiting beliefs.
Transforming everyday places into Thinking Environments might seem like a small change. But the effects would be huge and touch every part of our lives. Let’s look at how this could work using a few examples: schools, families, and love relationships.
Transforming schools into Thinking Environments would promote personal growth and cultivate thinking skills. If you’re a teacher, a powerful guideline might be to challenge students by asking their opinions five times more frequently than imparting your own.
Another idea is to allocate the last ten minutes of each class to “Thinking Pair” discussions. Form pairs and allow each person five minutes of uninterrupted talking time. They should reflect on that day’s learning and also voice what confused them. This practice facilitates learning and cultivates listening skills.
Fostering a Thinking Environment within families is also vital for personal growth and nurturing thinking skills. While it's impossible to shield children entirely from the world's influence or ensure they'll always think independently, you can provide them a safe place to explore their own thoughts.
The cornerstone of this process is to refrain from belittling children or underestimating their capabilities. A key aspect is paying attention to them without haste or dismissal, honoring their ideas no matter how outlandish.
A practical way to instill this practice is through shared evening meals. Begin each meal by having every family member, including the parents, share highlights and challenges of their day. Ensure each person gets a turn to speak while others actively listen. Then, proceed with usual dinner chatter. The result is often a deeper mutual respect, enriching the family dynamic, and fostering a Thinking Environment.
Finally, turning love relationships into Thinking Environments can lead to profound growth and deeper connection. Start by eliminating interruptions, allowing your partner to explore their thoughts freely. By not finishing their sentences, you’re already on the way to fostering mutual respect and genuine attention.
Also, every evening, adopt a routine of listening to each other's daily experiences. Be fully attentive and don’t offer unsolicited advice or comments. A rough guideline would be for each partner to have fifteen minutes of uninterrupted speaking time. Giving your partner undivided attention fosters connection and makes them feel valued.
Crucially, allow space for emotional expression without trying to “fix” problems or offer solutions. Today's society often stigmatizes emotional expression, encouraging repression rather than the natural release of emotions. But suppressing emotions harms our health and obstructs clear thinking. Whether it's crying, shouting in anger, or shaking in fear, these are natural outlets for emotional release that unblock thinking. So, if your partner expresses emotions, sit with them, listen attentively without panic or over-concern, and they'll recover and regain their thinking clarity faster.
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The impact of a Thinking Environment is remarkable. By prioritizing genuine attention, respectful listening, and appreciation, individuals can unlock their full thinking potential and foster personal growth. Creating a Thinking Environment involves fostering spaces where individuals are encouraged to express their thoughts freely, listened to without interruption, and allowed to voice their emotions naturally, thereby nurturing a culture of deep respect, attention, and enhanced thinking.
Have you ever been in a bustling crowd, yet felt like the only person in the room because someone gave you their undivided attention?
The late Diana, Princess of Wales had an extraordinary ability to create this feeling in others, embodying a principle we'll call the Thinking Environment. Her presence would dissolve nervousness, making individuals feel like they truly mattered. She had the unique knack of turning the spotlight on others, even in a room full of people there to see her.
Why is this relevant? Well, the quality of everything we do is directly connected to the thinking we do beforehand, which is influenced by the quality of attention we receive from others. Whether in organizations, families, or personal relationships, establishing a Thinking Environment can foster an abundance of good ideas, spur action, and ensure that individuals thrive.
So how do you create such an environment? It involves a mixture of undivided attention, questioning that eliminates limiting assumptions, and fostering conditions conducive to independent thought.
In this book, we’ll cover all of these factors in detail and delve into the world of the Thinking Environment, where you'll discover how to refine your listening, questioning, and appreciating to unlock your thinking potential, and that of others.
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The Thinking Environment
There are ten overall conditions for creating a Thinking Environment, but let’s focus here on three of its core pillars – Attention, Incisive Questions, and Appreciation.
The quality of your attention directly affects the quality of another person's thinking. This point can’t be understated. Paying good attention brings out the best in others, making them articulate and creative. Poor attention can cause them to falter and struggle.
One common illustration of this is that when people share their problems, we often leap into solution mode. We believe that's what they're seeking. But how often does the other person actually end up following your advice? Or maybe they did follow it, but it didn’t resolve the situation in a way that was totally satisfying to them?
It’s usually better to allow people the opportunity to use their own cognitive faculties to find a solution. After all, the mind grappling with a problem is usually also capable of finding its solution. And the solution they find themselves is one they’ll more readily follow.
So, instead of rushing to provide advice, offer people the space to explore their own thoughts first. By simply listening and asking questions such as, "What else comes to mind?" or "What else do you think?” you can help them uncover fresh ideas and perspectives.
When speaking with someone, it’s also essential to resist the temptation to interrupt or finish their sentences. This stifles their creativity and denies them the opportunity to express themselves fully. And be sure to maintain eye contact. It's a powerful way to show your full attention and presence, affirming that the other person’s ideas matter.
Another crucial component of the Thinking Environment is Incisive Questions. Incisive Questions are designed to eliminate limiting assumptions – those negative beliefs that act as barriers to our thought process – and inspire fresh thinking.
Let's imagine a scenario: You're hesitant to approach your boss, Neil, due to a fear that he'll dismiss your ideas as stupid. Beneath that fear, you discover a deeper assumption: the belief that you might genuinely be inadequate or stupid. This kind of limiting assumption restricts your actions and potential, preventing you from pursuing what you want or need.
Now, let's consider how to handle such a situation. A well-meaning colleague might tell you to simply ignore Neil's possible reaction and assert yourself. But this advice doesn't effectively address your limiting assumption, and hence, doesn't encourage you to change your behavior.
An Incisive Question, on the other hand, can be transformative. It prompts you to reassess your limiting assumption, engage with a more empowering belief, and explore new possibilities. For instance, replacing the limiting assumption of being stupid with the freeing assumption of being intelligent can be done by posing the question, "If you knew that you were intelligent, how would you talk to Neil?"
Finally, for the third condition of a Thinking Environment, let’s discuss Appreciation, which greatly influences a person's capacity for independent thought. Genuine praise helps people think for themselves much better than repeated criticism.
To that end, try to maintain a five-to-one ratio of appreciation to criticism in your interactions. And when delivering criticism, always start and end with positive notes. Concentrate not on every flaw you can think of but on the main one that, if corrected, would drive significant improvement. This approach ensures that the critique is received as a constructive suggestion and makes the person much more likely to make a change.
To elevate thinking in your surroundings more broadly, simple, sincere appreciation can go a long way. Take a moment to acknowledge the positives in others and express them honestly. Try it out today. Think of someone you admire or appreciate, someone you may not have praised openly for a while, or ever. Choose some words to express your admiration – and then tell them! Repeat this act on a weekly basis, ensuring your words are authentic and heartfelt.
By practicing the principles of Attention, Incisive Questions, and Appreciation, we can all help ourselves and others to uncover innovative ideas, remove limiting assumptions, and maintain a positive mindset.
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Improving organizational thinking
Every single day, we're influenced by the choices made by a range of organizations. Whether they're companies, schools, or governments, they decide everything from how we work to what we eat and even what we spend our money on. The decisions they make are a direct reflection of the quality of thinking within them. And the quality of thinking is, in turn, shaped by how the group members treat each other when they're in the process of decision-making.
Let's consider team meetings. They're the heart of group thinking in any organization. Making sure that these meetings act as a cradle for nurturing thought – a Thinking Environment – can be a secret superpower.
It starts by making sure everyone in the meeting gets a chance to speak. This part is crucial, because all too often, it’s only the quickest and most vocal people who dominate meetings. That means a lot of good ideas go unsaid – or even unthought! After all, people think when they speak. Denying them a turn to speak, then, denies them a turn to think.
So, open every meeting by going around the room and asking everyone what’s currently going well in their work. This creates a feel-good base from which to tackle any problems that may arise later. When the time comes to discuss the first item on the agenda, let everyone have a go at it. Make sure that everyone gets to have their say without any interruption. This approach will boost group intelligence and allow ideas to flow more freely and rapidly.
The same principles can supercharge brainstorming sessions. Allowing each person to contribute their ideas in turn before opening up the floor can lead to more innovative and unique ideas. Incorporating pair discussions, where pairs bounce ideas off each other, can also unearth hidden gems. It all boils down to this: When people are allowed to express their thoughts without interruption, creativity blooms naturally.
Now, when it comes to handling difficult conversations between two people, a technique called Timed Talks can be a game-changer. The rules are simple. Each person gets an uninterrupted three-minute window to express their thoughts, while the other listens respectfully. As soon as one person’s three minutes are up, they must stop talking, even if they’re mid-word. Repeat, taking turns for three minutes each until a solution or stopping point is reached. This method can be used in personal discussions as well as professional ones. It can also be used in positive situations in which you’re looking to come up with a creative solution or solve an interesting problem!
Overall, the focus for organizations should be on fostering a collaborative and non-competitive atmosphere in which everyone's brilliance shines through.
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The Thinking Session
Do you often find yourself acting without giving a situation much thought? Or maybe never acting because you don’t know what to think?
Fortunately, there’s a single solution to both problems: a twice-per-week dedicated Thinking Session. This is a thirty-minute period dedicated to solving a specific problem in your life. Ironically, despite taking up some of your schedule, these Thinking Sessions can save tons of time by altering your approach or transitioning you from passivity to a more effective method.
A Thinking Session requires two people, with one playing the role of the Thinker and the other the Thinking Partner. Each session has six stages.
It begins with the Thinking Partner posing a simple question to the Thinker: "What do you want to think about?" The Thinker then answers, exploring their thoughts fully, without the Thinking Partner interrupting.
When they seem to have nothing left to say, the Thinking Partner asks the Thinker, "Is there anything more you think, feel, or want to say about this?" This simple nudge often reveals more layers of thought. It helps the Thinker break away from the notion they might have that their sharing time should be limited or that their thoughts aren't worthwhile.
The session then progresses to stage two, where the Thinking Partner asks the Thinker what they want the session to achieve at this point. This refocuses their thinking, adds hope, and helps the Thinker prioritize their thoughts. The Thinking Partner needs to listen to the Thinker's response carefully, as the rest of the session hinges on this precision.
Moving on to the third stage, the Thinking Partner encourages the Thinker to reveal the core assumptions that might be keeping them from achieving their goal. This exploration often requires patience and further questioning. Once the assumption is identified, the Thinker is asked to articulate its positive opposite. This could be a shift from "I have no control over my life" to "I am the only one who does have control over my life." This reversal allows for a broader scope of actions and possibilities.
The fourth stage sees the Thinking Partner construct an Incisive Question by combining the Thinker's goal and their positive assumption. This might sound something like, “If you knew that you were the only one who does have control over your life, what would you do to live differently?” The Thinker Partner should repeat this question until the Thinker has exhausted all potential actions. This serves to dismantle barriers and push the Thinker toward their session goal.
In the fifth stage, the Thinker writes down the Incisive Question exactly as stated. This serves as a reference for future use, as often the same question can be instrumental in different scenarios. It's also a good time for the Thinker to note down any action plans that emerged from the session.
Finally, in the sixth stage, the session concludes on an uplifting note, with both partners expressing their appreciation for each other's qualities. It's important to focus on personal attributes rather than the session's content, to maintain an atmosphere of respect and positivity. For example, don’t say “Your ideas were excellent.” Instead, say “I admire the way you take on a challenge.”
In essence, a Thinking Session is a space for unhurried, clear, and transformative thought, creating a path toward effective problem-solving.
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Creating Thinking Environments everywhere
Envision a world where every space is a Thinking Environment. Wherever they go, individuals feel free to voice their ideas, knowing they’ll be heard and not penalized. Imagine the potential that could be unleashed if we all woke up each day confident that our ideas matter – that our thoughts will be heard. And that we’ll be supported in identifying and discarding limiting beliefs.
Transforming everyday places into Thinking Environments might seem like a small change. But the effects would be huge and touch every part of our lives. Let’s look at how this could work using a few examples: schools, families, and love relationships.
Transforming schools into Thinking Environments would promote personal growth and cultivate thinking skills. If you’re a teacher, a powerful guideline might be to challenge students by asking their opinions five times more frequently than imparting your own.
Another idea is to allocate the last ten minutes of each class to “Thinking Pair” discussions. Form pairs and allow each person five minutes of uninterrupted talking time. They should reflect on that day’s learning and also voice what confused them. This practice facilitates learning and cultivates listening skills.
Fostering a Thinking Environment within families is also vital for personal growth and nurturing thinking skills. While it's impossible to shield children entirely from the world's influence or ensure they'll always think independently, you can provide them a safe place to explore their own thoughts.
The cornerstone of this process is to refrain from belittling children or underestimating their capabilities. A key aspect is paying attention to them without haste or dismissal, honoring their ideas no matter how outlandish.
A practical way to instill this practice is through shared evening meals. Begin each meal by having every family member, including the parents, share highlights and challenges of their day. Ensure each person gets a turn to speak while others actively listen. Then, proceed with usual dinner chatter. The result is often a deeper mutual respect, enriching the family dynamic, and fostering a Thinking Environment.
Finally, turning love relationships into Thinking Environments can lead to profound growth and deeper connection. Start by eliminating interruptions, allowing your partner to explore their thoughts freely. By not finishing their sentences, you’re already on the way to fostering mutual respect and genuine attention.
Also, every evening, adopt a routine of listening to each other's daily experiences. Be fully attentive and don’t offer unsolicited advice or comments. A rough guideline would be for each partner to have fifteen minutes of uninterrupted speaking time. Giving your partner undivided attention fosters connection and makes them feel valued.
Crucially, allow space for emotional expression without trying to “fix” problems or offer solutions. Today's society often stigmatizes emotional expression, encouraging repression rather than the natural release of emotions. But suppressing emotions harms our health and obstructs clear thinking. Whether it's crying, shouting in anger, or shaking in fear, these are natural outlets for emotional release that unblock thinking. So, if your partner expresses emotions, sit with them, listen attentively without panic or over-concern, and they'll recover and regain their thinking clarity faster.
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The impact of a Thinking Environment is remarkable. By prioritizing genuine attention, respectful listening, and appreciation, individuals can unlock their full thinking potential and foster personal growth. Creating a Thinking Environment involves fostering spaces where individuals are encouraged to express their thoughts freely, listened to without interruption, and allowed to voice their emotions naturally, thereby nurturing a culture of deep respect, attention, and enhanced thinking.
July 23, 2022
a powerful process for listening
The book was first published in1999 and reprinted multiple times. I found it to be a very useful and practical handbook for running meetings and coaching sessions. It offers a simple process for encouraging the sharing of ideas, encouraging individual thinking and people coming up with their own solutions.
Further research can build on these premises as Kline’s methodology is primarily auditory and does not allow time for deep thinking, ironically. In group process, we can encourage one person at a time, yes, and we might also incorporate a few minutes of individual reflection or get people to draw a map of their thoughts before sharing.
Probably the best part of this books is the design of the incisive question: listen for the bedrock assumption (unhelpful limiting belief), replace it with an empowering question starter ‘if you knew that [positive opposite of limiting belief] was true, how might you [think/feel/take action according to the goal of the conversation]?
Highly recommended and very useful.
The book was first published in1999 and reprinted multiple times. I found it to be a very useful and practical handbook for running meetings and coaching sessions. It offers a simple process for encouraging the sharing of ideas, encouraging individual thinking and people coming up with their own solutions.
Further research can build on these premises as Kline’s methodology is primarily auditory and does not allow time for deep thinking, ironically. In group process, we can encourage one person at a time, yes, and we might also incorporate a few minutes of individual reflection or get people to draw a map of their thoughts before sharing.
Probably the best part of this books is the design of the incisive question: listen for the bedrock assumption (unhelpful limiting belief), replace it with an empowering question starter ‘if you knew that [positive opposite of limiting belief] was true, how might you [think/feel/take action according to the goal of the conversation]?
Highly recommended and very useful.
February 26, 2024
Reading the book I learned about these 11 components of a thinking environment:
# 1: Seek and share information
- Page 79: Not bothering to seek accurate information is an act of intellectual recklessness.
- Page 79: Withholding information from someone is an act of intellectual imperialism.
# 2: Listen. Give attention
- Page 15: The most important factor in whether or not teenagers can think for themselves is how they are being treated by people with them. The key behavior is attention.
- Page 37: Giving attention to people makes them more intelligent.
- Page 42: When a person searches for a word instead of being interrupted, he or she will learn. The search will add to the quality of their thinking, their process of understanding, of sorting things out, of gaining insight.
- Page 43: Sometimes we don't know what our faces express. For example, a person may think his or her face expresses "Keep going, I am interested", when it is actually expressing "I am threatened by what you are saying, change the subject." The point is to be yourself - your truly interested self.
- Page 44: Keep your eyes on the other person's eyes - except in cultures where it is not appropriate.
- Page 134: Listen as if your leadership life depended on it. It does.
# 3: Ask questions and listen
- Page 54: A question works because, unlike a statement which requires you to obey, a question requires you to think. The mind seems to prefer to think, not to obey.
- Page 56: If you want to do something but experience that you are stuck, ask yourself the question, "If I knew I would deserve success here, what would I do now?"
- Page 56: If you want to feel better, ask yourself this question, "If I knew I have a choice here, how would I feel?"
- Page 71: Listen to a person without a shred of competition. Champion that person as a thinker.
- Page 128: What is the key thing you want to improve?
- Page 131: Ask people how they feel about changes that are going on.
- Page 135: What are we not facing that is in front of your face?
- Page 135: How would your work have to change to be exactly right for you?
- Page 135: If you were to be your real self in your leadership, what would you do differently?
# 4: Express appreciation
- Page 62: Appreciation keeps people thinking. Repeated criticism does not. A 5-1 ratio of appreciation to criticism is a component of a thinking environment.
- Page 64: When you are appreciated, receive it. Say thank you and think of it as a gift.
- Page 64: The higher up someone is in an organization, the more appreciation the person needs, and the less he or she gets. Find ways to appreciate leaders. Do not confuse that with flattery.
- Page 134: Appreciate five times more than you criticize.
# 5: Apologize
- Page 134: When you make a mistake, apologize and correct the mistake.
# 6: Be at ease
- Page 66: Ease creates. Urgency destroys.
- Page 70: To pay attention with a mind and heart at ease is what produces results.
# 7: Tell people that they matter
- Page 85: Thinking environments are environments that say back to the people, "You matter." That needs to be the guideline for architectural design.
- Page 128: People shine when you remind them that they matter.
# 8: Express emotions
Page 75: If we would let people cry, they would think much better. This is particularly important when a person feels anger. When a person feels anger, he or she does not think well.
# 9: Strengthen equality
- Page 59: A manager asked these two questions and then listened: What have you noticed that you think needs attention or change in this company? What do you think should be done about it?
- Page 59: If you value only certain people's ideas, don't invite the others to the meeting.
# 10: Strengthen diversity
Page 95: As more and more women have moved into positions of leadership, they have been encouraged to be like men. Nancy Kline notes that men actually do not like the backstapping, competitive, patronizing, exclusive, and interruptive environments. Also, research shows that if they do not get out of these environments in time, or change them, many will die from them. How is an environment, which people need, characterized? It is an environment where people are confident and humble, out-spoken and quiet, logical and spontaneous, decisive and flexible, and always inclusive and respectful.
#11: Value solitude
Page 97: For many people, solitude is the only place, where we are not attacked, belittled or overtaken.
Concrete ways to improve meetings
- Page 106: Give everyone the possibility to speak several times.
- Page 107: Invite people to share what is going well as well as what problems they experience.
- Page 108: Do not interrupt people who are speaking.
- Page 108: Ask questions.
- Page 110: Give permission to tell the truth.
- Page 112: Allow people to share emotions they feel.
- Page 113: End the meeting by inviting everyone to express what was good about the meeting and expressing appreciation.
Timed talk:
- Page 123: Set a timer to 3 minutes.
- Page 123: Take turns talking - 3 minutes each.
- Page 123: When the timer stops, stop talking.
- Page 123: Take as many turns as necessary to solve the problem.
- Page 123: Do not interrupt when a person speaks.
- Page 123: If you don't need all the time during one turn, save it for the next turn.
- Page 123: Keep eye contact with the person who is speaking.
# 1: Seek and share information
- Page 79: Not bothering to seek accurate information is an act of intellectual recklessness.
- Page 79: Withholding information from someone is an act of intellectual imperialism.
# 2: Listen. Give attention
- Page 15: The most important factor in whether or not teenagers can think for themselves is how they are being treated by people with them. The key behavior is attention.
- Page 37: Giving attention to people makes them more intelligent.
- Page 42: When a person searches for a word instead of being interrupted, he or she will learn. The search will add to the quality of their thinking, their process of understanding, of sorting things out, of gaining insight.
- Page 43: Sometimes we don't know what our faces express. For example, a person may think his or her face expresses "Keep going, I am interested", when it is actually expressing "I am threatened by what you are saying, change the subject." The point is to be yourself - your truly interested self.
- Page 44: Keep your eyes on the other person's eyes - except in cultures where it is not appropriate.
- Page 134: Listen as if your leadership life depended on it. It does.
# 3: Ask questions and listen
- Page 54: A question works because, unlike a statement which requires you to obey, a question requires you to think. The mind seems to prefer to think, not to obey.
- Page 56: If you want to do something but experience that you are stuck, ask yourself the question, "If I knew I would deserve success here, what would I do now?"
- Page 56: If you want to feel better, ask yourself this question, "If I knew I have a choice here, how would I feel?"
- Page 71: Listen to a person without a shred of competition. Champion that person as a thinker.
- Page 128: What is the key thing you want to improve?
- Page 131: Ask people how they feel about changes that are going on.
- Page 135: What are we not facing that is in front of your face?
- Page 135: How would your work have to change to be exactly right for you?
- Page 135: If you were to be your real self in your leadership, what would you do differently?
# 4: Express appreciation
- Page 62: Appreciation keeps people thinking. Repeated criticism does not. A 5-1 ratio of appreciation to criticism is a component of a thinking environment.
- Page 64: When you are appreciated, receive it. Say thank you and think of it as a gift.
- Page 64: The higher up someone is in an organization, the more appreciation the person needs, and the less he or she gets. Find ways to appreciate leaders. Do not confuse that with flattery.
- Page 134: Appreciate five times more than you criticize.
# 5: Apologize
- Page 134: When you make a mistake, apologize and correct the mistake.
# 6: Be at ease
- Page 66: Ease creates. Urgency destroys.
- Page 70: To pay attention with a mind and heart at ease is what produces results.
# 7: Tell people that they matter
- Page 85: Thinking environments are environments that say back to the people, "You matter." That needs to be the guideline for architectural design.
- Page 128: People shine when you remind them that they matter.
# 8: Express emotions
Page 75: If we would let people cry, they would think much better. This is particularly important when a person feels anger. When a person feels anger, he or she does not think well.
# 9: Strengthen equality
- Page 59: A manager asked these two questions and then listened: What have you noticed that you think needs attention or change in this company? What do you think should be done about it?
- Page 59: If you value only certain people's ideas, don't invite the others to the meeting.
# 10: Strengthen diversity
Page 95: As more and more women have moved into positions of leadership, they have been encouraged to be like men. Nancy Kline notes that men actually do not like the backstapping, competitive, patronizing, exclusive, and interruptive environments. Also, research shows that if they do not get out of these environments in time, or change them, many will die from them. How is an environment, which people need, characterized? It is an environment where people are confident and humble, out-spoken and quiet, logical and spontaneous, decisive and flexible, and always inclusive and respectful.
#11: Value solitude
Page 97: For many people, solitude is the only place, where we are not attacked, belittled or overtaken.
Concrete ways to improve meetings
- Page 106: Give everyone the possibility to speak several times.
- Page 107: Invite people to share what is going well as well as what problems they experience.
- Page 108: Do not interrupt people who are speaking.
- Page 108: Ask questions.
- Page 110: Give permission to tell the truth.
- Page 112: Allow people to share emotions they feel.
- Page 113: End the meeting by inviting everyone to express what was good about the meeting and expressing appreciation.
Timed talk:
- Page 123: Set a timer to 3 minutes.
- Page 123: Take turns talking - 3 minutes each.
- Page 123: When the timer stops, stop talking.
- Page 123: Take as many turns as necessary to solve the problem.
- Page 123: Do not interrupt when a person speaks.
- Page 123: If you don't need all the time during one turn, save it for the next turn.
- Page 123: Keep eye contact with the person who is speaking.
June 30, 2020
Whether you think you are a good listener or not, there is a lot to learn from this book- particularly the first half.
Removing limiting assumptions from the way we think and instead using incisive questions underlies much of this books ideology.
Removing limiting assumptions from the way we think and instead using incisive questions underlies much of this books ideology.
August 8, 2021
I read this fascinating book as part of the research I was doing for an assignment on my coaching course. Kline describes an incredibly attentive technique, seemingly simple but requiring care, calm, and curiosity to execute well. It has already helped me improve the way I listen and connect.
November 9, 2021
This is a wonderful book. It brings to ones awareness the importance of being a god listener and what that does for others. It'll definitely improve the quality of relationships and interactions that you have.
December 16, 2021
I liked this book. It made me enjoy listening to others. When I discussed the book with my reading club, I could sense the increase in the quality of our discussion. The techniques and ideas that Nancy Kline speaks of would be instrumental when working with teams.
January 26, 2024
Something to think about (literally) - how do we create thinking environments at work and in our everyday lives and remove our (internal or external) thinking limitations? Very thought-provoking and probably even more relevant today than when it was first published.
June 11, 2016
I was introduced to Nancy Kline's Time to Think by a friend who had received training from Kline directly.
At the same time as reading Time to Think I started applying some of the techniques in meeting rooms and in all my interactions and immediately started seeing results. I believe there is such a great benefit to applying a useful strategy to our daily interactions.
From a psychological point of view I think that Nancy's work makes use of a Rogerian person centred approach and the positive effect of an unconditional positive regard for others. Nancy's work also makes use of cognitive behavioural psychology in the way that we can learn new communication skills and monitor our behaviour in a transactional setting.
At the same time as reading Time to Think I started applying some of the techniques in meeting rooms and in all my interactions and immediately started seeing results. I believe there is such a great benefit to applying a useful strategy to our daily interactions.
From a psychological point of view I think that Nancy's work makes use of a Rogerian person centred approach and the positive effect of an unconditional positive regard for others. Nancy's work also makes use of cognitive behavioural psychology in the way that we can learn new communication skills and monitor our behaviour in a transactional setting.
February 11, 2018
Great book. I’ve only tried some of it, but have seen good results from it. The only part I wasn’t keen on was the start that felt like a kind of infomercial for the technique. However, that only lasts for a little bit and the rest is really thought provoking and full of examples to bring it to life.
September 2, 2014
Top 5 books that changed my life. Possibly one of the best practical books on cognitive and behavioral thinking and listening techniques. I have even been trained on the principles/procedures in the boom and it works.
September 7, 2015
Kind of work related, but an easy read with really good, practical coaching advice. Normally with this type of book, I read half of it and feel like i've got the gist, but it was so useful I ended up sticking with it to the end (even the Princess Diana bit..)
November 19, 2017
Life changing. Do one thing Nancy Kline recommends, and you will find your life changing. Follow up on several of her suggestions, and you will live a life transformed. Give yourself, and those closest to you, time to think
April 8, 2013
Like it, but becomes boring once you get it. Could give a practical 20 page guide that summarises the technique, that would be more useful.
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