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The Gift of Violence: Practical Knowledge for Surviving and Thriving in a Dangerous World
In today’s modern world, we are largely isolated from the kind of savagery our ancestors faced on a daily basis. Although violence was as natural to our evolutionary development as sex and food, it has become foreign to most of at once demonized and glamorized, but almost always deeply misunderstood. Our hard-earned and hard-wired instincts—our evolved and trained ability to survive and overcome violent encounters—have been compromised. Yet, as even a cursory look at news headlines or a police blotter will reveal, the threat of violent crime is ever-present, and those we’ve entrusted to protect us cannot always be relied upon. The Gift of Violence tells the story of this vulnerability and provides the average person with all the knowledge they need to reduce the likelihood of becoming a victim of violence and to increase their chances of surviving a violent encounter. Based both on the author’s decades of experience teaching everyday people how to defend themselves and on a rational approach to the scientific data, The Gift of Violence offers clear, easy-to-remember lessons for people of all ages and abilities. It is designed to empower those who’ve been affected by violence or are concerned that they or their loved ones could be—in short, it was written to help good people become more dangerous to bad people. Every reader will be armed with the necessary knowledge to harness the power of violence for him- or herself—and, in the process, to be not just smarter and stronger but also safer.
400 pages, Hardcover
Published April 11, 2023
63 people are currently reading
519 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
April 16, 2023
Excellent book on martial arts, training, urban violence, how it happens, how to prepare for it and how to protect oneself from it.
I particularly liked the logical and analytical approach that the author took in approaching this topic, it draws on a lot of studies and population data to paint a very clear and conceret picture of how violence happens, by whom, where and how. In addition to that, the book offers clear practical advice on how to think about this whole topic and the role of martial arts in it.
I'm looking forward to the next book in this series of books by Matt Thornton, hopefully in the very near future.
I particularly liked the logical and analytical approach that the author took in approaching this topic, it draws on a lot of studies and population data to paint a very clear and conceret picture of how violence happens, by whom, where and how. In addition to that, the book offers clear practical advice on how to think about this whole topic and the role of martial arts in it.
I'm looking forward to the next book in this series of books by Matt Thornton, hopefully in the very near future.
May 21, 2024
Very lucid read. Articulates a rarely discussed reality that the world is a dangerous place
March 24, 2025
A logical and unsentimental examination of violence in modern society—who commits it, who is victimized by it, and how one can avoid or be prepared for encountering it. Thornton notes that modern industrialized societies are substantially safer and less violent per capita than pre-modern ones. Because the business of violence in developed nations has been outsourced to professionals though (law enforcement, the military, etc), many people are left with a distorted view of the realities of violence and how best to mitigate it.
Thornton is a renowned Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructor, and he is at his best in the book when taking to task the “woo-woo” disciplines in the broader martial arts world. His critiques of traditional, guru-lead schools (think chopping bricks, death touches, and secret punches) are clinical and savage.
Whether one is interested in a positivist analysis of criminal behavior, frameworks for assessing threats in life, or advice for pursuing functional martial arts, Thornton’s book is an exceedingly practical guide.
Thornton is a renowned Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructor, and he is at his best in the book when taking to task the “woo-woo” disciplines in the broader martial arts world. His critiques of traditional, guru-lead schools (think chopping bricks, death touches, and secret punches) are clinical and savage.
Whether one is interested in a positivist analysis of criminal behavior, frameworks for assessing threats in life, or advice for pursuing functional martial arts, Thornton’s book is an exceedingly practical guide.
April 22, 2023
This book is full of practical advice, relevant scientific data, and well thought-out arguments.
I did not expect to find reflections on epistemology in this book, and was pleasantly surprised that Matt identified one’s personal epistemology as a line of defense against violence. I think that it is one of the most important lines of defense.
One idea from this book that I found to be particularly compelling is the idea that it will always become painfully clear through repeated experimentation what the reality is and what does and does not work. I loved the comparison of sparring to the scientific method or philosophical debate. These are all things that you cannot fake (at least not for long) and are, in essence, conversations. Conversations are a great epistemological methodology- they are how you get to the truth.
In the interest of continuing the conversation, there are two major things that weren’t really addressed in this book that I would’ve liked to have seen explored (maybe Matt can get into these if he writes a second book):
1. Matt doesn’t distinguish between sociopaths and psychopaths. While neither are actual medical diagnoses, my understanding of the colloquial distinction between the two is that sociopaths are more “made” by nurture/life experiences and psychopaths are more “born” with low empathy due to inborn brain differences.There is a neuroscience element to this; you can see physical brain differences in both groups compared to the general population. Matt’s book mostly covers how to deal with sociopaths, who are generally the people who commit street crimes and end up in prison. While it’s good to know how to defend yourself against those kinds of people, In my opinion, psychopaths are actually more dangerous as they are harder to spot and are often in positions of power. They are also harder to “fix,” because their inherent capacity for empathy is lower. Psychopaths are less likely to go straight to using brute force and are more likely to use deception, manipulation and coercion to do their evil deeds. We need to adjust our strategies when we are dealing with a psychopath vs. a sociopath. I would recommend the documentary “I Am Fishhead” to Matt or anyone else who wants to get into this topic.
2. While Matt tells us to fight back, he doesn’t really get into what happens to people who do fight back. The fact is that they are often punished; especially women. Many women who are in prison for violent crimes are there because they fought back against their abusers, and they often receive longer sentences than men for crimes like murder. It’s less socially acceptable for a woman to use violence in self-defense or when snapping after years of abuse than it is for a man to be an aggressor (you might not think this is the case but in practice it is shown to be true time and time again). I would’ve liked to have seen an explanation of what reactive abuse is and how it is different from an ongoing pattern of interpersonal violence. More on the psychological and practical dynamics of domestic violence (and/or any other long-term exploitation of a power imbalance/pattern of abusive behavior) would’ve been good in this book. Understanding how those kinds of relationships function is key to escaping them or helping someone else escape. It’s key to recognizing who is the victim and who is the abuser using DARVO tactics to play the victim. Also, It’s important to have an understanding of what is legal when it comes to use of force, and an understanding of what the consequences could be (legally or otherwise) if you injure or kill someone in any number of potential situations. I would’ve liked to have seen more of an emphasis on the importance of these things, and more information about them.
I did not expect to find reflections on epistemology in this book, and was pleasantly surprised that Matt identified one’s personal epistemology as a line of defense against violence. I think that it is one of the most important lines of defense.
One idea from this book that I found to be particularly compelling is the idea that it will always become painfully clear through repeated experimentation what the reality is and what does and does not work. I loved the comparison of sparring to the scientific method or philosophical debate. These are all things that you cannot fake (at least not for long) and are, in essence, conversations. Conversations are a great epistemological methodology- they are how you get to the truth.
In the interest of continuing the conversation, there are two major things that weren’t really addressed in this book that I would’ve liked to have seen explored (maybe Matt can get into these if he writes a second book):
1. Matt doesn’t distinguish between sociopaths and psychopaths. While neither are actual medical diagnoses, my understanding of the colloquial distinction between the two is that sociopaths are more “made” by nurture/life experiences and psychopaths are more “born” with low empathy due to inborn brain differences.There is a neuroscience element to this; you can see physical brain differences in both groups compared to the general population. Matt’s book mostly covers how to deal with sociopaths, who are generally the people who commit street crimes and end up in prison. While it’s good to know how to defend yourself against those kinds of people, In my opinion, psychopaths are actually more dangerous as they are harder to spot and are often in positions of power. They are also harder to “fix,” because their inherent capacity for empathy is lower. Psychopaths are less likely to go straight to using brute force and are more likely to use deception, manipulation and coercion to do their evil deeds. We need to adjust our strategies when we are dealing with a psychopath vs. a sociopath. I would recommend the documentary “I Am Fishhead” to Matt or anyone else who wants to get into this topic.
2. While Matt tells us to fight back, he doesn’t really get into what happens to people who do fight back. The fact is that they are often punished; especially women. Many women who are in prison for violent crimes are there because they fought back against their abusers, and they often receive longer sentences than men for crimes like murder. It’s less socially acceptable for a woman to use violence in self-defense or when snapping after years of abuse than it is for a man to be an aggressor (you might not think this is the case but in practice it is shown to be true time and time again). I would’ve liked to have seen an explanation of what reactive abuse is and how it is different from an ongoing pattern of interpersonal violence. More on the psychological and practical dynamics of domestic violence (and/or any other long-term exploitation of a power imbalance/pattern of abusive behavior) would’ve been good in this book. Understanding how those kinds of relationships function is key to escaping them or helping someone else escape. It’s key to recognizing who is the victim and who is the abuser using DARVO tactics to play the victim. Also, It’s important to have an understanding of what is legal when it comes to use of force, and an understanding of what the consequences could be (legally or otherwise) if you injure or kill someone in any number of potential situations. I would’ve liked to have seen more of an emphasis on the importance of these things, and more information about them.
July 19, 2023
The Gift of Violence: Practical Knowledge for Surviving and Thriving in a Dangerous World by Matt Thornton was a disappointing verbose cacophony of statistical diarrhea.
The title “The Gift of Violence” is in the vein of de Becker’s The Gift of Fear which 25 years after first being published remains a seminal work. Thornton’s The Gift of Violence will disappear into a well of obscurity and irrelevance.
Thornton goes on-and-on ad nauseam with statistics, percentages, and numbers that most will find irrelevant because they personally fall outside the parameters of those statistics. And those who are victimized by crime understand that statistics become an irrelevant fact when one is the statistic.
Thornton gratuitously throws out many names of those who provided foundational research such as de Becker, Hare, Kahneman, Dawkins, Pinker, and others. Thornton regurgitates information from the research of others without adding any additional insight.
While there is some practical information provided it takes a lot of wadding through endless statistical drivel to get to and again no additional insights are provided. It is also information that is commonly provided from a variety of sources.
I’m sure Thornton is a very accomplished and knowledgeable martial artist. It is unfortunate the Gift of Violence missed the mark.
NOT RECOMMENDED
The title “The Gift of Violence” is in the vein of de Becker’s The Gift of Fear which 25 years after first being published remains a seminal work. Thornton’s The Gift of Violence will disappear into a well of obscurity and irrelevance.
Thornton goes on-and-on ad nauseam with statistics, percentages, and numbers that most will find irrelevant because they personally fall outside the parameters of those statistics. And those who are victimized by crime understand that statistics become an irrelevant fact when one is the statistic.
Thornton gratuitously throws out many names of those who provided foundational research such as de Becker, Hare, Kahneman, Dawkins, Pinker, and others. Thornton regurgitates information from the research of others without adding any additional insight.
While there is some practical information provided it takes a lot of wadding through endless statistical drivel to get to and again no additional insights are provided. It is also information that is commonly provided from a variety of sources.
I’m sure Thornton is a very accomplished and knowledgeable martial artist. It is unfortunate the Gift of Violence missed the mark.
NOT RECOMMENDED
November 2, 2023
Being a martial arts enthusiast, I expected the gift of violence to be very different from what it was. While it set up with the subject matter I assumed it would be, we took a left turn to societal problems with crime, fatherlesness, and a unique side of self defense.
The turn was a welcome one. Thornton provides a source for every fact he pulls and weaves them together in a way that makes the books conclusion payoff worth the entire read.
Even if you aren’t a fan of martial arts, you can get something from this book to change how you view the world.
The turn was a welcome one. Thornton provides a source for every fact he pulls and weaves them together in a way that makes the books conclusion payoff worth the entire read.
Even if you aren’t a fan of martial arts, you can get something from this book to change how you view the world.
January 13, 2024
Amazing all encompassing primer on the nature of violence and how to protect yourself in the modern world. Everyone should read this. Both for their own safety and confidence, as well as that of their family.
As I learned in the book, one of the main keys to avoiding violence is prevention and avoiding situations or people in your life who feel off. This and many more practical tips are engrained in you by the end of the book.
He has an awesome podcast episode with Sam Harris on the Making Sense Podcast ep316 if you want to get a feel for the author and his message before reading.
As I learned in the book, one of the main keys to avoiding violence is prevention and avoiding situations or people in your life who feel off. This and many more practical tips are engrained in you by the end of the book.
He has an awesome podcast episode with Sam Harris on the Making Sense Podcast ep316 if you want to get a feel for the author and his message before reading.
July 13, 2023
4.5 stars
A very thorough look at some of the causes and possible solutions of modern violence.
the loss of half a star is for the nitpicky need for editing (IMO).
A very thorough look at some of the causes and possible solutions of modern violence.
the loss of half a star is for the nitpicky need for editing (IMO).
July 30, 2024
Great insight into the true nature of violent encounters and the reality of the training methods needed to deal with them. Anyone interested in self defense and/or combat sports, this is a must read.
March 11, 2025
Totally fine
April 20, 2023
I first encountered Matt Thornton online almost twenty years ago. His writings and thoughts on the training process used to produce effective martial artists have been a great influence on me as a martial artist myself. Later, I discovered that his work expanded into epistemology(the study of knowledge) and it was largely through those writings that I found myself stepping into the larger intellectual community today.
That exploration of the intellectual life involves the discussion of the biological, sociological and cultural aspects tied to the subject of violence which is the core of this book. Though there are several chapters in this book that does speak on how to detect and how to train in a functional martial art, the bulk of it discusses the role violence plays in our everyday lives.
Multiple subjects are delved into at length. Why do people, especially young males, fight? What can we learn from how our mammalian cousins on the evolutionary tree as to how our evolved biology influences our behavior and relationship towards violence? Is pacifism always a morally good course of action or is violence a superior choice depending on the circumstances? Does the media report honestly and helpfully on crime rates and occurrences or are we sold a false and unhelpful narrative? Whom does a person truly need to pay attention to in order to be safe? How do we develop a healthy relationship to violence without fetishizing it or unhelpfully denying it as a part of our nature?
All of this, and more, is discussed within these pages, with reams of data and evidence to support his points. Very much worth a read. The only reason I didn’t give the book a full four out of five stars was because I wasn’t sure if descriptions regarding the martial arts training methodology would be easily consumable by the average reader who may read the book for an understanding of violence but who might not actually train in a martial art.
That exploration of the intellectual life involves the discussion of the biological, sociological and cultural aspects tied to the subject of violence which is the core of this book. Though there are several chapters in this book that does speak on how to detect and how to train in a functional martial art, the bulk of it discusses the role violence plays in our everyday lives.
Multiple subjects are delved into at length. Why do people, especially young males, fight? What can we learn from how our mammalian cousins on the evolutionary tree as to how our evolved biology influences our behavior and relationship towards violence? Is pacifism always a morally good course of action or is violence a superior choice depending on the circumstances? Does the media report honestly and helpfully on crime rates and occurrences or are we sold a false and unhelpful narrative? Whom does a person truly need to pay attention to in order to be safe? How do we develop a healthy relationship to violence without fetishizing it or unhelpfully denying it as a part of our nature?
All of this, and more, is discussed within these pages, with reams of data and evidence to support his points. Very much worth a read. The only reason I didn’t give the book a full four out of five stars was because I wasn’t sure if descriptions regarding the martial arts training methodology would be easily consumable by the average reader who may read the book for an understanding of violence but who might not actually train in a martial art.
June 26, 2023
This book is a difficult read, and everyone should read it. It is not difficult in the usual sense - it’s not long, or technical, or obtuse, or difficult to understand. In fact, it is simple, straightforward, and logical. At times, however, it is difficult to accept. It will make you feel things about yourself that you don't want to admit are there. It may bring up things from your past that you don't like to think about. It is not a particularly violent book. There are a few descriptions and examples of graphic violence to make important points, but the point of the examples isn't to shock you or make you cringe or to tell you brave stories of heroism.
The audiobook is narrated by the author. Matt Thornton's speech has likely been honed by his decades of teaching martial arts so he has an excellent narrating voice and it is always a treat to listen to a book narrated by such an author because their meaning and passion is completely unfiltered.
The Gift of Violence cites many classic works of logic, psychology, and evolution, but one book not cited that it reminds me of most is On Aggression, by Kondrad Lorenz. While On Aggression is almost exclusively about the evolution of violence and aggression, TGoV is about rebuilding your relationship with violence. Does that mean making you a more violent and aggressive person? No, in fact the moral of the story is quite the opposite. In fact if you learn to embrace and come to terms with your inherently violent nature, you may end up leading a safer and less violent life than you currently do.
The audiobook is narrated by the author. Matt Thornton's speech has likely been honed by his decades of teaching martial arts so he has an excellent narrating voice and it is always a treat to listen to a book narrated by such an author because their meaning and passion is completely unfiltered.
The Gift of Violence cites many classic works of logic, psychology, and evolution, but one book not cited that it reminds me of most is On Aggression, by Kondrad Lorenz. While On Aggression is almost exclusively about the evolution of violence and aggression, TGoV is about rebuilding your relationship with violence. Does that mean making you a more violent and aggressive person? No, in fact the moral of the story is quite the opposite. In fact if you learn to embrace and come to terms with your inherently violent nature, you may end up leading a safer and less violent life than you currently do.
July 23, 2023
Great book. It successfully does what it sets out to do. Makes a convincing case for how to minimize your risks related to violence in life.
It spends quite a lot of time explaining and proving why most martial arts are bullshit — more than necessary for me (I was easily convinced). Anyone who actually practices one of these martial arts probably needs quite a bit of convincing though, so it’s justified in some sense.
Highly recommended!
It spends quite a lot of time explaining and proving why most martial arts are bullshit — more than necessary for me (I was easily convinced). Anyone who actually practices one of these martial arts probably needs quite a bit of convincing though, so it’s justified in some sense.
Highly recommended!
December 5, 2023
A fascinating exploration of a fundamental topic of human life, history, and psychology that has aspects that are both often overlooked AND also exaggerated. The author brilliantly discusses the realities of violence in a somewhat clinical analysis that de-glamorizes and also makes more extraordinary the relative safety and naivety of modern society. I’m sure I will give it as a gift this holiday season and will likely read it again.
August 29, 2023
Must read
All martial arts instructors. A must read.
30 years in martial arts background. One of the best. Get it today.
All martial arts instructors. A must read.
30 years in martial arts background. One of the best. Get it today.
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