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The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman
MEN, THIS IS SIMPLE.
If your relationship feels flat, contentious, or toxic, this book can help.
If you want to feel more powerful and be less of a pleaser Nice Guy, this book can help you.
If your partner seems to criticize more, have less interest in sex, or act in ways that feel “crazy” to you, this book can help.
Fighting or defending yourself doesn’t resolve anything. Withdrawing into work or your phone makes it worse. And contorting yourself to avoid conflict just kills her respect for you.
The answer is to develop and live from your Masculine core. This book shows you how in an actionable three-part Masculine Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety. This is not the old model based on control, but rather one based on clarity.
This is not a manual for Alpha Dogs, nor a fuzzy spiritual guide. It is a clear set of principles that help you develop your Masculine leadership.
In my experience, if you’re in any of these situations, your choice is simple. Either keep doing what you’re doing, and eventually watch the relationship die on the vine. Or grow. Period. This book shows you the way.And if you want to go deeper on this growth path, see The Art of Relational Masculinity video course.
If your relationship feels flat, contentious, or toxic, this book can help.
If you want to feel more powerful and be less of a pleaser Nice Guy, this book can help you.
If your partner seems to criticize more, have less interest in sex, or act in ways that feel “crazy” to you, this book can help.
Fighting or defending yourself doesn’t resolve anything. Withdrawing into work or your phone makes it worse. And contorting yourself to avoid conflict just kills her respect for you.
The answer is to develop and live from your Masculine core. This book shows you how in an actionable three-part Masculine Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety. This is not the old model based on control, but rather one based on clarity.
This is not a manual for Alpha Dogs, nor a fuzzy spiritual guide. It is a clear set of principles that help you develop your Masculine leadership.
In my experience, if you’re in any of these situations, your choice is simple. Either keep doing what you’re doing, and eventually watch the relationship die on the vine. Or grow. Period. This book shows you the way.And if you want to go deeper on this growth path, see The Art of Relational Masculinity video course.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 26, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
July 28, 2022
you may not be the problem, YOU ARE the solution
1. don't play victim.
2. know that your woman is testing you.
3. put connection before your fear or your ego.
4. show your love, don't just tell it.
5. you will never take credit for your past good deeds with your woman.
6. you should know that you can usually ask for a “do-over”.
7. one of the most effective things you can do when dealing with your woman: accept her as your feminine 'oracle'.
1. don't play victim.
2. know that your woman is testing you.
3. put connection before your fear or your ego.
4. show your love, don't just tell it.
5. you will never take credit for your past good deeds with your woman.
6. you should know that you can usually ask for a “do-over”.
7. one of the most effective things you can do when dealing with your woman: accept her as your feminine 'oracle'.
August 7, 2020
The foreword by Dr. Glover appealed to me as a fan of his other works, and trusted his advice and I purchased the book.
The concepts of the book are sound. I agree with the self improvement of this book and there are definitely things that will make a man a better man. There are many ideas, details and examples on how to be a man that a woman loves and respects, as well as being a man in control of his life and his relationship.
My issues with the book isn’t the self improvement of the man, but the apparent lack of agency or responsibility of the woman in the relationship. The book reads as if the relationship is a zero-sum game that rests solely on the man’s shoulder. There is little to no coverage on the decisions of the feminine in the relationship; yes the man can set the mood or provide the security however the book doesn’t touch on how to get the man’s needs met. My interpretation is that if the masculine provides the love and security for the feminine to be, the feminine will meet the masculine’s needs and all will be happy. Ironically it seems more of a covert contract defined by Dr. Glover than it seems two people working toward a successful relationship.
Overall the book was okay. It felt longer than it needed to be. The relationship portion seemed as the masculine pandering to the feminine in order to “unlock” greater intimacy. I can see this being the truth for relationships that may have slightly lost its way, however not for one where the man is feeling unappreciated or unloved (I can’t say for the woman - the entire book is giving men examples on how to woo her).
The self improvements and being true to yourself portions I can get behind. There are portions of this book that emphasize being a better you, and by being a better you - you can lift up those around you.
The concepts of the book are sound. I agree with the self improvement of this book and there are definitely things that will make a man a better man. There are many ideas, details and examples on how to be a man that a woman loves and respects, as well as being a man in control of his life and his relationship.
My issues with the book isn’t the self improvement of the man, but the apparent lack of agency or responsibility of the woman in the relationship. The book reads as if the relationship is a zero-sum game that rests solely on the man’s shoulder. There is little to no coverage on the decisions of the feminine in the relationship; yes the man can set the mood or provide the security however the book doesn’t touch on how to get the man’s needs met. My interpretation is that if the masculine provides the love and security for the feminine to be, the feminine will meet the masculine’s needs and all will be happy. Ironically it seems more of a covert contract defined by Dr. Glover than it seems two people working toward a successful relationship.
Overall the book was okay. It felt longer than it needed to be. The relationship portion seemed as the masculine pandering to the feminine in order to “unlock” greater intimacy. I can see this being the truth for relationships that may have slightly lost its way, however not for one where the man is feeling unappreciated or unloved (I can’t say for the woman - the entire book is giving men examples on how to woo her).
The self improvements and being true to yourself portions I can get behind. There are portions of this book that emphasize being a better you, and by being a better you - you can lift up those around you.
August 21, 2020
I'm a woman
Men, if you've ever wished your woman came with an instruction manual... Congratulations, you found it!
Women, you need to read this too. It will actually help you understand yourself better. And understand your man as well. Then get your man to read it!!!
And to the men, not all women are as harsh as some of the examples in the book. If you find this to be true of your woman-keep her! She's a good one!
Men, if you've ever wished your woman came with an instruction manual... Congratulations, you found it!
Women, you need to read this too. It will actually help you understand yourself better. And understand your man as well. Then get your man to read it!!!
And to the men, not all women are as harsh as some of the examples in the book. If you find this to be true of your woman-keep her! She's a good one!
December 22, 2019
GS Youngblood has a knack for hitting spiritual truths in relationships in a down-to-earth way. Being a speaker of relational work myself, I’m particular about which books I recommend to clients. THIS book is a fabulous read for men who desire to take leadership in relationship. Of course, that’s not the dynamic of choice for everyone in relationship and that’s okay — but if you want your feminine partner to be in her relaxed, carefree giggly spirit (the thing that probably magnetized you to her in the first place) get this book and learn these skills. They’ll change everything.
December 26, 2020
A wonderful guide to returning to your masculine core...
This was an absolute treasure for a guy who suffered from "Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome". It is a practical guide to returning to your masculine essence and I plan on reading it numerous times as,the author suggests. I highly recommend this book.
This was an absolute treasure for a guy who suffered from "Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome". It is a practical guide to returning to your masculine essence and I plan on reading it numerous times as,the author suggests. I highly recommend this book.
April 27, 2024
Hands down genius! As a sex therapist, I work with individuals and couples and commonly discuss many of the topics outlined in this book. I truly think every man should read this. Go into it with an open mind and you’ll leave with an open heart. This book reflects healthy masculinity. I’ll be going through and highlighting many parts of this to further support my clients. Men who want to be better lovers, partners, parents, workers, etc, this book is step 1. Step 2 is implementing the words written here. 🖤
July 23, 2022
I had the urge to vomit several times while reading this book. For sure, there are many useful guides inside there. I just hated the way how all this was framed, kind of "do like this and you'll get sex". I think there's much more to feminine and masculine polarity than just that.
What I was missing the most was the switching between feminine and masculine energies and a pointer to how to learn time by time which energy is more useful in certain circumstances. Feminity in men was completely left out for me.
As the book tries to make "men" more comfortable to accept their masculinity, I experienced it quite overshooting - although I see that this is hot point today.
In general I'd recommend other resources in that topic that don't narrow down like this and choose a broader approach.
What I was missing the most was the switching between feminine and masculine energies and a pointer to how to learn time by time which energy is more useful in certain circumstances. Feminity in men was completely left out for me.
As the book tries to make "men" more comfortable to accept their masculinity, I experienced it quite overshooting - although I see that this is hot point today.
In general I'd recommend other resources in that topic that don't narrow down like this and choose a broader approach.
May 7, 2020
What no one else will say
GS spells out the absolute fundamentals men need for a good relationship. No hype, no BS, just the truth. This is a must read for anyone who wants a good relationship with a woman.
GS spells out the absolute fundamentals men need for a good relationship. No hype, no BS, just the truth. This is a must read for anyone who wants a good relationship with a woman.
February 14, 2021
Barring the title which is a little off putting this is hands down the best relationship book I’ve ever read. Everyone should read this.
July 5, 2023
I just had the surreal experience of reading a book that felt 100% written specifically for me. Every chapter was totally relatable as he wrote about what it means for a man to be (or not be) fully in his masculine as a leader in the relationship with his woman. I’m talking verbatim describing relationship experiences I’ve been through, reactions I’ve had, thoughts I’ve thought, well-intentioned but misguided behaviors I’ve modeled, and the “results” of all of those things. It was incredibly accurate for me, at times seeming uncanny, which is why I know the blueprint for masculine relationship leadership he lays out is a life changer and left me feeling very empowered and capable.
I’m also finishing this book and writing this review as 4th of July firework booms and pops echo through the foggy San Francisco night sky, and it’s not lost on me that the universe might also be celebrating that I found this book and that it has inspired me to grow and to take action. I reached out to the author immediately after the first chapter, and it turns out he offers coaching sessions on his blueprint. I can’t wait to start those to ensure book knowledge turns into real and reliable muscle memory and solidify the masculine leadership qualities and habits that I as a man want to permanently embody.
In a nutshell, his masculine blueprint consists of three main pillars: 1) Respond instead of react, 2) Offer direction and structure, and 3) Create emotional safety. Now, the individual aspects of this framework are not necessarily original to the author, and not necessarily new to me as I’ve read all of the books the author references (Way of the Superior Man, 5 Love Languages, No More Mr. Nice Guy to name a few) that talk about them. But he just has a way of making all that information feel so real and relatable both with his down-to-earth writing style and by mixing in a lot of his own personal experiences in relationships. And he’s ultimately very supportive that the growth that a man is looking for in himself and in his relationship is right there in that framework. 5 stars, awesome book.
I’m also finishing this book and writing this review as 4th of July firework booms and pops echo through the foggy San Francisco night sky, and it’s not lost on me that the universe might also be celebrating that I found this book and that it has inspired me to grow and to take action. I reached out to the author immediately after the first chapter, and it turns out he offers coaching sessions on his blueprint. I can’t wait to start those to ensure book knowledge turns into real and reliable muscle memory and solidify the masculine leadership qualities and habits that I as a man want to permanently embody.
In a nutshell, his masculine blueprint consists of three main pillars: 1) Respond instead of react, 2) Offer direction and structure, and 3) Create emotional safety. Now, the individual aspects of this framework are not necessarily original to the author, and not necessarily new to me as I’ve read all of the books the author references (Way of the Superior Man, 5 Love Languages, No More Mr. Nice Guy to name a few) that talk about them. But he just has a way of making all that information feel so real and relatable both with his down-to-earth writing style and by mixing in a lot of his own personal experiences in relationships. And he’s ultimately very supportive that the growth that a man is looking for in himself and in his relationship is right there in that framework. 5 stars, awesome book.
June 5, 2023
While only giving 3 stars, this is a great resource for men and I recommend it to all men. This, combined with follow on works, can put you in an amazing place to keep your woman attracted to you.
Why I took stars off as a great resource:
1. The major one is that it's incomplete and the author used the book as a way to sell future works. Several times the author says he doesn't have this worked out yet, it'll be in a follow-up work. I don't appreciate being sold half ideas.
2. He goes on example adventures. He'll often give upwards of five examples of an idea. I often found myself taken out of the listening mindset and annoyed.
3. Maybe this is the proper English and I'm being petty, but the use of the word "relationship" as both an adjective and state of being mixed in and just saying "in relationship" or "of relationship" instead of "in a relationship"...it really grinded on me. Even if this is the proper use of the word, no one speaks like this and it again takes you out of the mindset.
4. I listened to the audio. The author should not have read the work. He constantly puts emphasis on words by audibly stretching them out where it makes no sense and stumbles on words constantly. It's like he just did a quick one time read so he could move onto those unfinished ideas left open ended in the book.
5. He also points you to his online work. While the content is probably pretty good, his prices are comically high. If I had to guess, I'd say he feelss like he is just catering to the wealthy so he has that elite feel about himself.
Why I took stars off as a great resource:
1. The major one is that it's incomplete and the author used the book as a way to sell future works. Several times the author says he doesn't have this worked out yet, it'll be in a follow-up work. I don't appreciate being sold half ideas.
2. He goes on example adventures. He'll often give upwards of five examples of an idea. I often found myself taken out of the listening mindset and annoyed.
3. Maybe this is the proper English and I'm being petty, but the use of the word "relationship" as both an adjective and state of being mixed in and just saying "in relationship" or "of relationship" instead of "in a relationship"...it really grinded on me. Even if this is the proper use of the word, no one speaks like this and it again takes you out of the mindset.
4. I listened to the audio. The author should not have read the work. He constantly puts emphasis on words by audibly stretching them out where it makes no sense and stumbles on words constantly. It's like he just did a quick one time read so he could move onto those unfinished ideas left open ended in the book.
5. He also points you to his online work. While the content is probably pretty good, his prices are comically high. If I had to guess, I'd say he feelss like he is just catering to the wealthy so he has that elite feel about himself.
February 26, 2021
A useful guide and introduction to the ways of dealing with what the author calls "The feminine". There is a lot here to say for men and the masculine in these current times. I admire the challenge uptaken by the author. I personally felt in places that it was difficult to find the lines between "The feminine" and stereotyping women. However, there is plenty of opportunity for introspection as a masculine presenting man in the world. For example dealing with the emotional pain of conflict with your significant other. Or identifying feelings of sexual shame as a man, understanding where the shame comes from and how to address it through introspection and outside help.
A good read, and topical in the current society which does, quite rightly, expect a certain acknowledgement of the damage that the patriarchy has had on the world. It reframes and suggests a new notion of western masculinity.
Brave from G.S Youngblood.
A good read, and topical in the current society which does, quite rightly, expect a certain acknowledgement of the damage that the patriarchy has had on the world. It reframes and suggests a new notion of western masculinity.
Brave from G.S Youngblood.
August 3, 2023
Great book on masculine/feminine polarity and how to be a man in today's age. Really helped me be more aware and start to unlearn some poor habits I've picked up over the years as someone who loves to give and make others happy (but who used to be a total people-pleaser who puts others in front of myself)
Great tips and guides for masculine in relationship on how to lead and how to "handle" certain aspects of the feminine that may not usually feel easy to handle, but also how to be to encourage the feminine to fully feel comfortable and safe settling into their fullest feminine (without feeling like they need to shift into their masculine all the time)
Highly recommend it for anyone looking to connect more with their masculine, especially as it relates to their relationships with others who are primarily feminine
Great tips and guides for masculine in relationship on how to lead and how to "handle" certain aspects of the feminine that may not usually feel easy to handle, but also how to be to encourage the feminine to fully feel comfortable and safe settling into their fullest feminine (without feeling like they need to shift into their masculine all the time)
Highly recommend it for anyone looking to connect more with their masculine, especially as it relates to their relationships with others who are primarily feminine
March 10, 2024
I struggle with some of the possessive language GS uses in this book. “Your woman” is littered everywhere. But he doesn’t use it in a possessive way; it’s just my cultural feminist upbringing.
Anyway, it’s worth pushing past any discomfort there, because I think there’s a lot of gold here. A lot of truth. About how to be the best man you can be.
My first introduction to this kind of work was through Jennifer Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Loving course. It was excellent, but it is lacking in some of the practical tips. This book has been very useful to extend my knowledge there. The stuff on embodiment and training your nervous system to deal with intensity is particularly relevant for me.
I’m planning to do some of his online training next, and his MIR Bootcamp. Good stuff.
4.5/5 stars
Anyway, it’s worth pushing past any discomfort there, because I think there’s a lot of gold here. A lot of truth. About how to be the best man you can be.
My first introduction to this kind of work was through Jennifer Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Loving course. It was excellent, but it is lacking in some of the practical tips. This book has been very useful to extend my knowledge there. The stuff on embodiment and training your nervous system to deal with intensity is particularly relevant for me.
I’m planning to do some of his online training next, and his MIR Bootcamp. Good stuff.
4.5/5 stars
March 31, 2022
This book isn't just for men, though it is absolutely targeted at those raised to be masculine. As a cis-woman, I learned a lot about masculine and feminine energy by reading this book. I learned that I've been very much in my masculine for a long time, and got a picture of what being in my feminine might look like.
I urge feminine partners who read this not to force it on their partner but use it as a source for new language to communicate what we need.
Youngblood's work isn't revolutionary in the "silver bullet" kind of way, but is life changing in the "keep it simple" kind of way. The work required to return to polarity is hard but it's not complicated like we make it out to be.
I urge feminine partners who read this not to force it on their partner but use it as a source for new language to communicate what we need.
Youngblood's work isn't revolutionary in the "silver bullet" kind of way, but is life changing in the "keep it simple" kind of way. The work required to return to polarity is hard but it's not complicated like we make it out to be.
September 14, 2023
I think this book is really well done, even tho its target audience is male. He acknowledges that masculine and feminine are not gender, it’s energy and we all carry both. As a female identifying and feminine leading, I really appreciate the narrative here. Doesn’t mean I don’t use my masculine in partnerships, I do. But I lead more feminine. This book provoked some tough, but healthy and productive conversations with my partner. Feminine is chaos, with gifts of creation, truth-telling, surrender and processing emotions. Masculine is order, structure and safety. This is the narrative of masculine leadership. Not misogyny.
September 26, 2023
An easy and quick one as it wasn’t exactly a complex book. I obviously am aware that I was not the target audience for this (as I am not a man) but was curious to see what men were learning as two men in my life were reading this. Safe to say, I’m quite torn about this one. I think definitely there are some very insightful parts to the book and was relieved to see it was not a massively misogynistic view on masculinity. Nevertheless, there were also definitely parts I did not particularly like (specifically parts like ‘any truly feminine woman is crazy’ which I strongly disagree with). This is why I think 3 stars is fair.
September 28, 2021
Deep practical wisdom to help men become attractive
A lot of the problems of relationships, especially nowadays where men and women are not only more and more equal but also the same, are addressed here. The book offers deep understanding of the problems we men are facing in relationships, such as depolarization, neediness, unclarity, etc, that turn women off. And offers actionable solutions to these problems.
A lot of the problems of relationships, especially nowadays where men and women are not only more and more equal but also the same, are addressed here. The book offers deep understanding of the problems we men are facing in relationships, such as depolarization, neediness, unclarity, etc, that turn women off. And offers actionable solutions to these problems.
May 17, 2023
Reading this book helped me get clarity around my relationship with my partner. It helped me see past patterns that hadn’t worked and allowed me to make changes that have helped me really show up in a way where I can lead my partner from my masculine core and enjoy her feminine come out as a result. There is a wealth of information in this book that can help a man step into a truly intimate and deep relationship with his partner.
February 27, 2024
Very good book. Interesting ideas that I agree with, mostly. This book is for someone who believes in the masculine and feminine. If you don’t, it will probably anger you. Good instruction manual for trying to have a healthy, fun, loving relationship. It spends a lot of time telling the masculine to not be “too nice”. That doesn’t mean being a jerk. Take care of your partner. I highly recommend it.
January 9, 2022
Absolutely Must Read For All Men
I enjoyed reading the book and various examples how to love and lead and I love the framework laid out in this book, It’s simple, profound and it’s not that easy to implement.
I highly recommend every man read this book and have amazing relationships with his woman!
I enjoyed reading the book and various examples how to love and lead and I love the framework laid out in this book, It’s simple, profound and it’s not that easy to implement.
I highly recommend every man read this book and have amazing relationships with his woman!
May 16, 2024
Would recommend this to my 20-something-year-old self. In fact, should be required reading for young males. A thorough and well-rounded breakdown of healthy vs. unhealthy masculinity and how to lead in romantic relationships with plenty of insights from the feminine point of view in terms of what women want and crave in a relationship. A great book to revisit from time to time.
October 10, 2022
a very outdated view on masculinity and its role in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. other kinds of relationships (poly, open etc) and identities (queer, non-binary etc) are not even discussed. a bit ashamed that I even started to read this book in the moment of weakness.
February 15, 2024
This book is filled with so much knowledge and inspiration. I recommend this book to any man looking to become more in touch with themselves. The book taught me a lot of skills that are hands down needed for life. I will never forget the material I learned.
February 11, 2021
Unable to finish this book despite really trying too. There appears to be little to no science behind the generic statements made. Which are often repeated needlessly to fill out the book.
May 4, 2023
Necessary for men to read. In all relationships. You will change your and your girlfriend's life
May 22, 2023
A useful book for masculine people in relationships with feminine people (particularly men in relationship with women).
September 4, 2023
live with open heartedness, lead your woman by dealing with her intensity head on. Great book. Wish I read this when I was younger.
October 15, 2023
Quite a bit of wisdom I wish I would have heard much earlier in my life. I have found I agree on most all that is found within this book as being helpful.
March 25, 2024
Great insights
Great insights on how to relate to your significant other. Read it before you need it. Can't wait to read the next one.
Great insights on how to relate to your significant other. Read it before you need it. Can't wait to read the next one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews