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Life in the Balance: A Doctor’s Stories of Intensive Care

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'A remarkably honest memoir of a life spent pulling people back from death' - Adam Kay

In these stories, Dr Jim Down brings us to the very heart of the intensive care unit - the section of the hospital where the sickest patients are brought to be cared for until their condition improves. With honesty, humility and a streak of dark humour, Dr Down describes the quietly heroic work of doctors and nurses on the ICU, a place which sits at the cutting edge of medical technology and where a split-second decision can make the difference between life and death.

From headline-grabbing cases like that of Alexander Litvinenko, poisoned by Russian agents and admitted to Down's ward, to the appalling aftermath of a train crash, Life in the Balance offers an inside glimpse of intensive care medicine, its immense challenges, deleterious effects on doctors' mental health and enormous rewards. Its profundity will make you reconsider the fragility of life and reframe your understanding of what it means to care.

245 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 23, 2023

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Jim Down

3 books4 followers

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5 stars
127 (49%)
4 stars
104 (40%)
3 stars
24 (9%)
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2 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
Profile Image for Rebecca.
3,834 reviews3,161 followers
April 23, 2024
Better than Life Support, Down’s record of being an ICU anaesthetist during Covid. He has some great stories to tell of momentous occasions for his London hospital’s staff: a train crash, the 7 July 2005 terrorist bombings, and Alexander Litvinenko’s fatal polonium poisoning by Russia. There are also more personal accounts of having two of his friends as patients at his hospital: Sean with necrotic pancreatitis and Laura with Guillain–Barré syndrome. I was reminded of Henry Marsh’s memoirs (and, to a lesser extent, Stephen Westaby’s) for their combination of confession and self-deprecating humour. “My relationships with patients are usually short term,” Down quips. “If they’re not unconscious when I meet them, I often render them so within minutes.” One chapter describes ICU bed allocation as a complicated chess-like game of strategy. But he also chronicles ethical dilemmas and difficult decisions, including one case that wouldn’t stop haunting him and prompted him to get mental health support – under a counsellor’s care, he tried antidepressants, EMDR, and cold-water swimming.
Profile Image for Amaan Nath.
23 reviews
April 28, 2024
(4.5*) - Exhilarating, gripping and terrifying.

A very well written insight into life as a top consultant at UCH on Euston Square. Down takes us through some terrifying tales as he treated victims of the 7/7 terrorist attack and then led the medical investigation into ex Russian FSB agent Alexander Litvinenko.

What’s most noticeable is how vital strong decision-making is in the ICU and the ability to recall all the decisions you have to make. Everything from the decision not to double up on gloves when inserting a needle into a patient that potentially has HIV and risk infecting yourself to the decisions around DNR orders and ventilation.

But also the significant mental toll from working as an ICU consultant takes on you. Rather than bringing his work home physically, it weighs on Down mentally as he goes through endless iterations of possible solutions, problems and re-diagnoses again and again to try and be that difference that could save a life.

Jim Down is a hero as are all of the NHS staff that look after the health of this country 24/7! Definitely recommend!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Pam Milburn.
488 reviews2 followers
January 3, 2024
Audible. Alistair Campbell recommended. Working in ICU. Bit indulgent in the end , but quite good. Read well.
Profile Image for Maddie Lake.
4 reviews
March 28, 2024
Some amazing anecdotes from a busy London hospital. A valuable perspective on the NHS, such that I perhaps would have appreciated some more commentary on the current struggles, particularly how they compare to previous decades. Liked the writing style! Definitely the kind of doctor I want to be.
Profile Image for Sarah.
81 reviews15 followers
January 23, 2024
I first heard about this book when Alastair Campbell recommended it as his book of 2023, so promptly sought it out.

For much of this book, I thought to myself that others might find it strange, listening to a book by a doctor about their job, and that it might be too close to what I do. Actually, on the contrary, I find accounts of other specialties quite fascinating, particularly when interspersed with stories from major incidents and the like. This was a fascinating look at intensive care and the ethical decisions as well as the clinical ones.

Towards the end, as Jim describes his anxiety and diagnosis of depression following a challenging case, some of it felt more personal and more applicable to all of us working across medicine. It has given me much to reflect on, and his honesty and detailed description of his mindset and recovery has prompted me to think further about how I would cope with similar stresses, and if there are proactive steps I could take to shore up my own resilience.

The chapter about the pandemic, as always with these things, provoked emotional flashbacks and were a difficult listen.

Overall a strong recommend - I imagine medical or non medical, you will get something valuable from this book.
(Listened to the audiobook)
Profile Image for Peter K .
249 reviews1 follower
March 27, 2023
A marvellous book written with evident warmth and care for his patients by Dr.Down.

A mixture of professional autobiography and tutorial into the workings of the intensive care unit this book engaged from the first page owing to the approach of the author and his focus on the patients and the limitations of what medical theory can do even as we move through the 21st century.

The toll of being both an intensivist and an anaesthetist over a career of some 25years is clearly shown here and the author has bared his vulnerabilities for all to see on the page, this cannot have been an easy decision to make , it would have been so easy to focus on the purely medical and veer away from the personal.

The challenges of an NHS under increasing strain is not shied away from.

An engrossing read from a very thoughtful and admirable author
2 reviews
April 7, 2023
A fascinating insight into how decisions are (and should/could be) made for ICU patients and the pressure intensive care doctors and anaesthetists come under every day.
Jim Down speaks of the philosophy around a life worth living and poses several thought provoking questions such as “Is a patient really alive if they are fully supported by machines?”, “Should CPR/DNR decisions be made by doctors, patients or their families?”, “Can we justify the enormous cost of ICU beds for patients who have little-to-no hope of living a ‘valuable’ life?/Who gets to choose what defines a valuable life?”, “How should doctors prioritise patients for ICU admission and is it fair to prioritise beds for emergency patients over those scheduled for elective surgery?”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
563 reviews10 followers
April 8, 2024
This was a fascinating read! I've read hundreds and hundreds of medical biographies from nurses/doctors/surgeons working in hospitals but I've never read any which goes into detail about working on Intensive Care.

Unless you are unlucky enough that someone close to you has spent time on an intensive care unit, we don't really find out what is behind those doors, this book gives us a real insight into the level of care, the protocols and the day to day running on the unit. It was extremely interesting and I couldn't put this down. It was very well written, with stories of past patients and their illnesses, and I thought this was a riveting book.

Well worth a read if you enjoy biographies or anything medical related. I've still got one of his books based around Covid which I haven't read yet, I will be making it a priority now as I'm sure that's just as good.
Profile Image for Hannah Wunsch.
2 reviews
August 29, 2023
A beautifully written, fascinating look at the world of intensive care. Dr. Down has been not only in the midst of care of critically ill patients, but in the midst of multiple world events. His insights and compassion for the patients, his team, and ultimately himself and his colleagues, make for a wonderful, moving book that should be read by all.
Profile Image for Kath.
634 reviews11 followers
April 12, 2024
How is it that medics can be such good writers as well? Henry Marsh and Rachel Clark come to mind. Such an interesting and thoughtful book which explored various ethical themes but in easy to understand writing. The author is not afraid to share his own struggles and experiences too. I look forward to reading his next book about his work during Covid.
149 reviews2 followers
March 12, 2023
A book filled with the stories of n intensivist in the UK NHS. A story of ethics, philosophy,life, love and loss and the choices we make.
Profile Image for Sophie Patrikios.
129 reviews9 followers
January 13, 2024
I felt incredibly tense reading this account (I can’t imagine living it!) and am glad it’s finished but it was fascinating, thoughtful and honest.
19 reviews
March 29, 2024
Fascinating account of the work and dilemmas of an ICU consultant. I read it over 24hours and probably didn’t fully digest the decisions he had to make but I couldn’t put it down.
1 review1 follower
April 9, 2024
Amazing book written by a wonderful person. I loved hearing all of Jim Down's thoughts and stories from his experience. A delightful read.
Profile Image for Sarah.
226 reviews7 followers
April 9, 2023
Life in the Balance
I read this book as a result of listening to the podcast The Rest is Politics. Alastair Campbell mentioned the book and as I’m very interested in his work on mental health I wanted to read it. It is a superb book about the life and work of an intensive care doctor. It’s a very honest account of the author’s career, and I’m now going to get hold of Jim Down’s first book, Life Support, about the Covid 19 pandemic.
The chapters that particularly interested me were the ones about patient care and the doctor’s demeanour. From a patient’s point of view, it surprises me that doctors aren’t trained in ‘bedside manner’, and that some of them find it a bit tricky to empathise with the patient. In the chapter Friends, Down is very honest about how talking to two friends about their ICU experience taught him more about what the beginning of each shift feels like for the patient, as the patient wonders nervously which staff will be on that shift.
The chapter Crash covers the author’s experience of anxiety and depression and is so refreshingly frank about his own reaction to a death on the ICU that I think it was some of the most insightful and revealing writing about the medical profession that I’ve ever read. Doctors and patients both have things to learn about how it feels on the other side of the bed.
Overall this was one of the most moving and revealing books about hospitals that I’ve ever read.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews

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