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A Love That Kills: Stories of Forensic Psychology
'An empathetic and necessary corrective to the stereotypes peddled by so many sensational true crime shows' Oprah Daily
Anna Motz is one of the most internationally acclaimed forensic psychotherapists at work today. For more than three decades she has treated women imprisoned for violent crimes. With candor, compassion, insight and a clear-eyed perspective Anna introduces us to eleven ordinary women who came to commit extraordinary acts, examining the fault lines that led to their crimes, and the sometimes perilous journey both therapist and patient take towards recovery.
Anna Motz is one of the most internationally acclaimed forensic psychotherapists at work today. For more than three decades she has treated women imprisoned for violent crimes. With candor, compassion, insight and a clear-eyed perspective Anna introduces us to eleven ordinary women who came to commit extraordinary acts, examining the fault lines that led to their crimes, and the sometimes perilous journey both therapist and patient take towards recovery.
256 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 2, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 4, 2023
Eleven women, all killers, their stories peeled back to trauma and abuse, but still killers. Sometimes it seems there is always an excuse, or a reason if you prefer. Most people, most of us, who have been abused and traumatised, do not become violent and worse, murderers. It's as if evil doesn't exist, only pathways that for some, once on it, will end up as if the devil was wreaking havoc.
The questions I ask myself are, would the women have become killers without their abusive backgrounds? Some of them seemed to be psychopaths to me. And, why do some abused women become so violent, but very, very few. Most go on to think they would never bring up a child like that, would never stay with a man like that, would always aim to do better by their children, try to move on and make a good life. So what goes wrong for the few?
Interesting book, a different angle - just women - from most forensic psychology books. The author writes really well, so definitely a 5-star.
__________
TMI? I did not have a happy childhood. This is just a small excerpt as I can't bear to write it. I was emotionally and physically abused by my parents. Not sexually, that was others not that my parents cared. About a teacher in primary school, "We didn't want to ruin Mr. Edmunds career". That seems to have been general. Eventually someone reported him to the police, he used to expose himself to little girls of 9 and 10, and ... he was moved to another school district.
In grammar school, aged 13 with a friend, a man exposed himself and masturbated in front of us. The headmistress said we were lying and just made it up to justify why we had been on the boys' sports ground (we'd been there because it was the easiest access to the off-licence where we bought little bottles of rum to mix with our lunchtime yoghurts. Made the afternoon go faster.) So she told my parents and I got punished again.
I was spanked all the bloody time with shoes, brushes etc so bad that I couldn't bend or sit for the damage to the crease of my buttocks and back of my knees. I can't remember how young I was when it first happened. My brother got it too, but only with my mother's hand, never from my father and never with implements. He was the Golden Child. The last time for being 14 and playing with make-up with the 11 year old girl next door. It was so bad I couldn't go to school for two days. I threatened them with the police. My father was a magistrate. It never happened again.
I was badly bullied at school. One of the teachers cared. No one else did, including my parents. I skipped school spending my days in the library, I was frightened of the bullies. But later, rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, all kind of stuff happened to me, I'd finished school two years early, left home too young at 17, partly pushed out by my father as I 'upset my mother', so I had no one to turn to, I just handled it. And I did not become an abuser or killer or anything else, and raising my son strived to do better.
This was probably TMI and I might delete it later. It was cathartic to write in a way but as I was writing I kept remembering more. I used to want to be poor, instead of middle-class, and living in council housing so I might get rescued by Social Services. It was a case of no one, except my grandmother, who did her best, ever believed me, and my brother and mother delighted in my punishments.
The questions I ask myself are, would the women have become killers without their abusive backgrounds? Some of them seemed to be psychopaths to me. And, why do some abused women become so violent, but very, very few. Most go on to think they would never bring up a child like that, would never stay with a man like that, would always aim to do better by their children, try to move on and make a good life. So what goes wrong for the few?
Interesting book, a different angle - just women - from most forensic psychology books. The author writes really well, so definitely a 5-star.
__________
TMI? I did not have a happy childhood. This is just a small excerpt as I can't bear to write it. I was emotionally and physically abused by my parents. Not sexually, that was others not that my parents cared. About a teacher in primary school, "We didn't want to ruin Mr. Edmunds career". That seems to have been general. Eventually someone reported him to the police, he used to expose himself to little girls of 9 and 10, and ... he was moved to another school district.
In grammar school, aged 13 with a friend, a man exposed himself and masturbated in front of us. The headmistress said we were lying and just made it up to justify why we had been on the boys' sports ground (we'd been there because it was the easiest access to the off-licence where we bought little bottles of rum to mix with our lunchtime yoghurts. Made the afternoon go faster.) So she told my parents and I got punished again.
I was spanked all the bloody time with shoes, brushes etc so bad that I couldn't bend or sit for the damage to the crease of my buttocks and back of my knees. I can't remember how young I was when it first happened. My brother got it too, but only with my mother's hand, never from my father and never with implements. He was the Golden Child. The last time for being 14 and playing with make-up with the 11 year old girl next door. It was so bad I couldn't go to school for two days. I threatened them with the police. My father was a magistrate. It never happened again.
I was badly bullied at school. One of the teachers cared. No one else did, including my parents. I skipped school spending my days in the library, I was frightened of the bullies. But later, rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, all kind of stuff happened to me, I'd finished school two years early, left home too young at 17, partly pushed out by my father as I 'upset my mother', so I had no one to turn to, I just handled it. And I did not become an abuser or killer or anything else, and raising my son strived to do better.
This was probably TMI and I might delete it later. It was cathartic to write in a way but as I was writing I kept remembering more. I used to want to be poor, instead of middle-class, and living in council housing so I might get rescued by Social Services. It was a case of no one, except my grandmother, who did her best, ever believed me, and my brother and mother delighted in my punishments.
July 31, 2023
The compassion with which each woman’s story is told is really outstanding. I just felt like some depth was lacking in each story- which I guess is necessary to publish a book with so many different elements. I think I’d have preferred more depth, particularly in the childhood trauma faced by each woman. Solid read though
February 13, 2023
A fascinating set of therapeutic stories, peeling back layers of trauma and abuse that lurk behind some many violent and criminal behaviours exhibited by the women in question. Motz implores us to see the perpetrator’s story as well as their crime, and invites us on the perilous journey through her process, often repulsed and horrified by what she is hearing, but staying true to her role of witness and mirror, giving insight to those she treats, helping them to change their behaviour and reduce future risk.
She also challenges us to avoid negative stereotypes of females who commit violence, as well as being cautious with positive stereotypes that can actually hide and prolong abuse, as detailed in a sickening chapter about a case of FII (Fabricated or Induced Illness)
My only complaint is that the author ‘tells’ rather than ‘shows’ the sessions, with barely any dialogue or description, taking the reader out of the room, offering a second-hand anecdote of the encounter instead. It didn’t stop me enjoying the book or flying through the pages, but it did take one star off my review.
She also challenges us to avoid negative stereotypes of females who commit violence, as well as being cautious with positive stereotypes that can actually hide and prolong abuse, as detailed in a sickening chapter about a case of FII (Fabricated or Induced Illness)
My only complaint is that the author ‘tells’ rather than ‘shows’ the sessions, with barely any dialogue or description, taking the reader out of the room, offering a second-hand anecdote of the encounter instead. It didn’t stop me enjoying the book or flying through the pages, but it did take one star off my review.
May 25, 2023
Horrifyingly tragic stories but told with much sincerity and compassion and it teaches some rather useful concepts about attachment, societal expectations of women and roots of violence and generational trauma
February 27, 2024
Very interesting, and I really liked that each chapter was about a different origin of female violence, ranging from erotomania, to Munchausen's by proxy, to psychosis. Massive emphasis on how the lines between victim and perpetrator can overlap, and how upbringing and your childhood really plays a part in who you are as an adult - "the body keeps the score". All these stories were incredibly sad.
April 13, 2023
Fascinating book! Raw and confronting, but also poignant, it really highlights the complexity of the human condition, and violent acts. Not for the faint of heart, but I couldn’t put this book down!
September 18, 2023
This book really strengthened my love and passion for forensic psychology. It reminded me of how complex humans are. All chapters were told with so much compassion and empathy, describing trauma and how that linked with the awful offences that took place. I found it so intriguing how the offence was described but then life history, background and other factors were not described in a way that excused the behaviour. I just loved it!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 29, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
April 21, 2024
cried. i love women. i’m so sorry that they experience pain. i hope i can help women like anna motz does
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews