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No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated) Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Dr Robert Glover (Author, Narrator), Recorded Books (Publisher)
4.6 out of 5 stars 15,317 ratings

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.

The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.

The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:

  • If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
  • If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
  • If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.

The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.

Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.

This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:

  • Depression
  • Social anxiety and shyness
  • Codependency
  • Low self-esteem
  • Loneliness and hopelessness
  • Feelings of failure
  • Lack of confidence and purpose
  • Compulsive behaviors and addictions
  • Feeling stuck in life

Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique—his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.

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  1. Listening Length
    6 hours and 49 minutes
  2. Author
    Dr Robert Glover
  3. Narrator
    Dr Robert Glover
  4. Audible release date
    December 21, 2017
  5. Language
    English
  6. Publisher
    Recorded Books
  7. ASIN
    B078927ZYL
  8. Version
    Unabridged
  9. Program Type
    Audiobook
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Product details

Listening Length 6 hours and 49 minutes
Author Dr Robert Glover
Narrator Dr Robert Glover
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date December 21, 2017
Publisher Recorded Books
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B078927ZYL
Best Sellers Rank #883 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#28 in Relationships (Audible Books & Originals)
#74 in Parenting & Relationships (Books)

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
15,317 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book an enlightening read that opens their minds and helps make fundamental changes, with one customer noting they can relate to nearly every paragraph. Moreover, the book helps develop confidence through real self-reflection, and customers find it effective and powerful. Additionally, they appreciate the explanations of why nice guys are nice, and the dustjacket arrives perfectly intact. However, the pacing receives mixed reviews, with some finding it helpful while others describe it as nonsensical psycho babble, and several customers note the book is too repetitive.

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793 customers mention "Readability"717 positive76 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and well-written, with one customer noting it's an absolute essential for all men.

"...Almost instantly improved my sex life, but more than that, it helped me see what I’ve been working on and towards for the last 5-7 years...." Read more

"No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT book However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in..." Read more

"...Except for Chapter 8 I loved this book. He explains himself fully and shows tons of great exercises on how to achieve the life you want with your..." Read more

"Good book with solid tips. This was recommended to me and didn't disappoint. I will use many of the tips in this book." Read more

691 customers mention "Insight"669 positive22 negative

Customers find the book insightful and life-changing, helping them make fundamental changes and open their minds.

"...He explains himself fully and shows tons of great exercises on how to achieve the life you want with your partner...." Read more

"This book gave me excellent insight into two aspects of my personality that have been holding me back in dating and relationships...." Read more

"...I loved the title and was curious so I read the sample. Woah…brain explodes as I feel like I was reading an autobiography!!..." Read more

"...aforementioned Models to any man looking to improve himself with a real world, practical, and proven method that will make his life better and more..." Read more

47 customers mention "Confidence"47 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate how the book helps readers develop confidence by being real with themselves, with one customer noting it provides solid methods for self-expression and another mentioning its effectiveness in overcoming insecurity.

"...However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in their lives, it does not make men..." Read more

"...This book will give you the conviction to follow yourself and be your own leader...." Read more

"This is a good self esteem boost book geared towards men" Read more

"...Self acceptance, not being ashamed to express my wants and needs. Healthy assertiveness Must read for young men" Read more

34 customers mention "Effectiveness"31 positive3 negative

Customers find the book effective and powerful, noting that it works well for other men and is right on target.

"...The book helps nice guys find their real selves and live up to their potential. Kindness is good...." Read more

"...On the one hand, it does a decent, surface-level overview of what produces modern "soft" men..." Read more

"...It is that powerful. My life as a 50 year old man is so out of control and miserable as a result of being a "Mr...." Read more

"Excellent,well, written and so on point...." Read more

31 customers mention "Personality"31 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate how the book explains why nice guys are nice and covers all aspects of typical nice guy behavior, with one customer noting it serves as a wake-up call and another mentioning it provides great tools for self-improvement.

"...It's okay to be selfish, and actually it's a good thing for society when you channel it into improving yourself and using your time for productive..." Read more

"...Kindness is good. But being nice and letting ourselves be run over or hiding our inner secrets and shame is not...." Read more

"...The basic tenet of this book is benevolent selfishness. Take control of of the only thing that you can really control, you. Stand up for you...." Read more

"...This book gives somewhat of a deep dive into nice guy syndrome and allows the reader to do a self autopsy...." Read more

21 customers mention "Sturdiness"21 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's sturdiness, noting that the dustjacket is perfectly intact and the book is in good condition.

"Good book with solid tips. This was recommended to me and didn't disappoint. I will use many of the tips in this book." Read more

"...just beginning my journey but it feels good having such a solid base to work from." Read more

"...; like strength, discipline, courage, passion, persistence and integrity, pp. 93-94...." Read more

"...In any case, this book is on point and has stood the test of time!" Read more

54 customers mention "Pacing"20 positive34 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the pacing of the book, with some finding it helpful in setting boundaries, while others describe it as nonsensical psycho babble.

"No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT book However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in..." Read more

"...The author teaches about unmasculine habits, boundaries, and how to better yourself by creating a new found habits...." Read more

"...Chapter 8 is a complete joke. Dude spends the whole book talking about not repressing your feelings, saying what you want and not hiding who you are...." Read more

"...My biggest gripes with this book are its gross trivializations of the deep psychological issues that cause the author's invented "Nice Guy Syndrome."..." Read more

31 customers mention "Repetition"9 positive22 negative

Customers find the book repetitive and boring, particularly in the middle sections.

"...Neglectful, irresponsible fathers carry just as much weight in this equation...." Read more

"...trouble, this is a VERY shallow book and it is so mind-numbingly repetitive I absolutely couldn't stand it." Read more

"...Boring, safe, non confrontational...." Read more

"This ok is not for the average reader. It is most likely to be for people who are looking for an answer through introspection...." Read more

BECOME THE ALPHA MALE. This book is the path to true masculinity
5 out of 5 stars
BECOME THE ALPHA MALE. This book is the path to true masculinity
So What I liked -COMPREHENSIVE PLAN. In this book, Dr. Glover gives a very detailed and thorough plan for recovering and kicking the "nice guy syndrome". This plan will 100% work if you execute it. -CUTTING TRUTH many sentences and descriptions in the book left me openmouthed, swearing under my breath, and even in tears once. This book can see right into the soul of the Nice Guy. The Truth about the way I lived life was a hard pill to swallow but one of the best things I have ever done -CONCRETE EXERCISES the Book includes some 50 step by step exercises designed to make you happier, more attractive, stop seeking approval, and enjoy life -CURED ME OF THE NICE GUY SYNDROME The Nice guy syndrome caused some major issues for me mentally when I was younger. To be able to break free of old patterns and create the future as something new Is a something that will stick with me for a long time. What I didn't like -EXCESSIVE NICE GUY MENTIONING this book mentions the opposite of the nice guy the Integrated Male only ONCE. I really wished that the contrasted the two figures against each other to see how they handled different situations. Summary: No More Mr. Nice Guy is a book for almost every man in this day and age. If you are intruiged by the concept, buy the book. It is something you will not regret.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Jeff
    5.0 out of 5 stars Thought Provoking and Deep
    Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    This book gave me excellent insight into two aspects of my personality that have been holding me back in dating and relationships. I haven't completed all the activities, but just reading through the book gave me a lot to think on to improve !myself and its attract the relationships I know I deserve while setting healthy boundaries and eliminate re fear of asking for war I need to fill my cup. I've already started using many of two suggestions from Texas book.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Transformation
    Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    I loved, that It acquainted my, with my inadequacies. Helped me to create a groundwork to build off of, wonderful!
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  • J
    4.0 out of 5 stars Prepare to do homework
    Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Not bad thing per se. Lots of work and if being a nice guy left you friendless i have horrible news
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  • Wazu
    5.0 out of 5 stars A great book! Highly recommended!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2007
    Verified Purchase
    No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT book However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in their lives, it does not make men jerks. The author points out that you are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness. By boosting a man's confidence and ensuring the man's needs are met, women are naturally more attractive to these men. The greatest aphrodisiac is self-confidence.

    The characteristics of "Nice Guys" are men who have difficulty setting boundaries in relationships with women and become doormats. The men often feel as helpless victims and seeing another person as the cause of problems. Many nice guys live life trying to gain approval for others.

    Many nice guys did not have their needs met as boys. As a coping mechanism to try to get their needs met, they try to be nice. Later in life, Nice Guys apply the skills learned as a boy in dealing with women - by being nice - it does not work. When being nice does not work, the Nice Guys try to be even nicer.

    Men need to set healthy boundaries in relationships with women. Avoiding conflicts in relationships is problematic - Women do not feel safe with a man they know they can push around. A woman wants to know you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. There is a catch - she has to test to see if she can trust you. When you set a boundary, she may strongly test and push against the boundary. She will tell you that you are wrong for having the boundary and do her best to find out if the boundary is for real. Generally, when women feel secure, they feel loved. When a man stands up to a woman, she believes he will likely stand up for her. Setting boundaries creates respect and makes women feel secure and feel loved.

    Around 50%+ of marriages end in divorce and usually the mother has primary custody. This places the boy in a subservient position to women and minimizes the father's influence. The mother has a profound influence in upbringing of the boy. Mothers teach their daughters to be more independent and teach their sons to be "nice boys" - dependent on women's approval. During the formative years (0-5 years), most of the boy's school teachers are women, so they learn to be subservient to women. The boy must be nice to gain the teacher's approval and earn good grades. In essence, most of the boy's power figures are women and he must be nice to win their approval. Nice guys learn that their needs are not important or having needs contrary to the women's needs is bad, so they try to please others and become miserable in the process. They become wimps, doormats, nice guys - whatever to avoid conflict in relationships and try to make their women happy.

    During the formative years, when a boy set boundaries with either his mother or female teachers - he was taught that it was alright to have those boundaries violated. Later in life these boys grow to become men, but use the outdated strategy developed in childhood to deal with women - by being nice and trying to make women happy at any cost. Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority. That's what this book is about.

    There were 27 reviews on the book; I read all of them before buying the book. I also read the 3 new reviews since receiving and reading the book. A book of this nature cannot please everyone - it will save some relationships and bury some relationships that have been long dead. Depending upon your life upbringing, the book will either apply to you or not. Since I started reading the book, I have been raving about it. Get this book. I bought a second copy to send to a friend. I even recommended friend who is a single mother raising a son to get this book.
    826 people found this helpful
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  • Lei F.
    5.0 out of 5 stars A “Wisdom Text” for sure. Healing balm like no other.
    Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Life changing for sure. My mind and heard were blown wide open over and over.

    Almost instantly improved my sex life, but more than that, it helped me see what I’ve been working on and towards for the last 5-7 years.

    It helped me see beliefs and patterns that started back when I was a young child.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Anonymous
    5.0 out of 5 stars Truly connecting with others
    Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    A book which helped me understand what I have done in the past to simply keep the status quo in relationships instead of actually learning how I can better improve myself to therefore have even better relationships with everyone in my life. Nice guy syndrome is an epidemic and I’m grateful to find this book so I can attain the relationships with the individuals I love and achieve true connection.
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  • Massimo
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great find
    Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    My life changed from reading this and even though some of the guide and advice is pretty generic it still showed me so many things i did that put me in Mr. Nice Guy group, and being taken so advantage of, and since then i notice a lot more of what i should be getting in life than just being the nice guy all the time.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Rogert Schultz
    5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 27, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    60 year old Male in the middle of a divorce and while reading divorce sub reddits, someone recommended this book. I loved the title and was curious so I read the sample. Woah…brain explodes as I feel like I was reading an autobiography!! I took my time reading in small chunks to digest more fully. So much great information presented concisely and clearly. I cannot recommended this book enough if you want to make changes for the better for you…and love yourself even more!!
    3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Urban Lifestyle
    5.0 out of 5 stars Straight to the point, good book!
    Reviewed in Singapore on November 7, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Writer is spot on with his observation on this topic. And direct straightforward advice. Good book.
    Customer image
    Urban Lifestyle
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Straight to the point, good book!

    Reviewed in Singapore on November 7, 2024
    Writer is spot on with his observation on this topic. And direct straightforward advice. Good book.
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  • Carlos Ortega
    5.0 out of 5 stars Buenisimo - supero mis expectativas
    Reviewed in Mexico on August 1, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    FUERTE recomendacion - no se dejen llevar por impresiones apresuradas debido al entorno del internet-
    es tan positivo y simple como creo que pueda llegar a ser un libro sobre este tema - es como muy "puro" - solo es un breve panfleto sobre aceptarse a uno mismo - pero abordando este tema desde muchos lados y de manera que ves que realmente no entiendes el concepto de la aceptacion.

    Mi concepto de la aceptacion cambio para siempre

    Es un libro que no tiene "consejos" ni te dice que necesitas ser millonario y tiranico y buscar el estatus o un titulo o un oscar o una relacion para ser feliz y valer - el libro te muestra por que el enfoque en esas cosas es errado - te enseña muy convincentemente por que la falta de aceptacion de uno mismo es el unico verdadero problema - y que superar ese obstaculo es muy facil - esto es lo que hara que puedas triunfar en todo lo demas.

    No hay en el libro una agenda machista ni le interesa hablar del feminismo ni de cosas politicas - es muy enfocado en lo que te esta pasando a ti como persona y eso me sorprendio y me parecio bello y refrescante - no hay ninguna incitacion a la agresividad ni a ninguna tendencia politica - tiene un concepto de la masculinidad que es tan positivo como se puede llegar a ser

    no me aburri en ningun momento es una lectura que se me paso rapido y esta escrito de manera que es muy entretenido con anecdotas y ejemplos - breve pero MUY sustancioso.

    La edicion del libro -impecable y sin ninguna falta de ortografia - me encanta la portada
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  • maertin
    5.0 out of 5 stars Execellent book, very clear an original
    Reviewed in Spain on November 28, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    It has been a real pleasure to read this book, as I read on it described my own personal life.
    With an abusive father and an alcoholic mother, my childhood was very difficult to bear, in addition I have problems with alcohol abuse during 30 years and a severe depression.
    At the age of 38 I decided to put and end to my miserable life, I contacted my father after 30 years and started in AA.
    After ten years with an enormous amount of effort and persistence I finally became sober and recovered from depression.
    Reading this book has been a real discovery for me because it describes me perfectly and I encourage other people to read it too, it can help a lot. That's why I rated with 5 stars.
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  • カール
    2.0 out of 5 stars Not applicable
    Reviewed in Japan on January 14, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I actually couldn't continue reading it past 1/3 of the way through. I could only relate to about 20% of this book up to this point.

    People have called me a "nice guy" in the past. I'm ending a 14 year marriage next month, with a toxic wife who not only expected me to do everything, but also did so as she was having an affair alongside being physically and mentally abusive. I do partly blame myself, because I did shy away from confrontations with her in the beginning, and this book rightly identifies that facet in my character. I think I've grown a lot from how I was in the beginning though.

    Being someone with low self confidence, I wondered if this book could explain some things to me, or perhaps help me going forward. However, once I read the part about the boy who told his mother about damaging a table, I realised this book wasn't for me. I have always been honest in my mistakes. I remember breaking something of my aunt's when I was a kid, and yes, I hid it initially. Though, when I heard her asking if anyone had seen it, I brought it to her and admitted that I'd broken it. I've been like that my whole life. I hate lying to people. A more recent example, I forgot to set my alarm for a class I was giving, and I was getting bombarded with calls. I woke up, called them and said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Rushed out the door and ran there! Overall I was 30 minutes late for a class that should have been an hour. The organiser was angry at me (and rightly so!), but I apologised profusely to her and the attendees, and although it made me feel anxious, I knew it was the right thing to do. I am very rarely late for anything! It's one of my pet peeves when things or people are late, and so I try to live by my own standards.

    When this book proposed that most nice guys are liars, I really started questioning whether the book was aimed at me at all. Some of the things I did relate to in this book, I feel that most people relate to. It generalises things, such as nice guys "want approval", okay, but most people want approval (perhaps all people?). I have 3 kids, but I don't take them outside thinking of all the approval I may get! I may be thinking of the approval I get from my kids, but mainly I'll just be hoping that they enjoy the place I've taken them, and that it will help them grow as people!

    With all the rave reviews, I was hoping this book could help me!

    Perhaps I'll read the rest in the hope there's something which will help later on.
    Report
  • MR E MILITSIS
    5.0 out of 5 stars good book, useful points
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 21, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Good book, useful points. Gives hope to implement the ideas into practice for better life, especially in areas of career and relationships.
    Report