What do you think?
Rate this book
This Book Will Make You Kinder: An Empathy Handbook
'Heart-swelling in its wholesomeness' - Gina Martin
'A reminder of the life-changing power of empathy' - Emma Gannon
Why are you kind? Could you be kinder?
The kindness we owe one another goes far beyond everyday gestures like taking out the neighbour's bins - although it's important not to downplay those small acts. Kindness can also mean much more. In this timely, insightful guide, Henry James Garrett lays out the case for developing a strong, courageous, moral kindness, one that will help you fight cruelty and make the world a more empathetic place.
Building on his academic studies in metaethics and using his signature sweet animal cartoons, Henry explores the sources and the limitations of human empathy and the many ways, big and small, that we can work toward being our best and kindest selves. A world in which everyone was the fully-empathetic of version of themselves would be a very kind world indeed. And that's the world this book will move us toward.
'A reminder of the life-changing power of empathy' - Emma Gannon
Why are you kind? Could you be kinder?
The kindness we owe one another goes far beyond everyday gestures like taking out the neighbour's bins - although it's important not to downplay those small acts. Kindness can also mean much more. In this timely, insightful guide, Henry James Garrett lays out the case for developing a strong, courageous, moral kindness, one that will help you fight cruelty and make the world a more empathetic place.
Building on his academic studies in metaethics and using his signature sweet animal cartoons, Henry explores the sources and the limitations of human empathy and the many ways, big and small, that we can work toward being our best and kindest selves. A world in which everyone was the fully-empathetic of version of themselves would be a very kind world indeed. And that's the world this book will move us toward.
208 pages, Hardcover
First published October 20, 2020
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 239 reviews
October 24, 2020
The illustrations/comics contained inside this novel are marvelous. If I was judging Garrett's book just by these, it'd be a 5 out of 5. The world could use a HELL of a lot more kindness so I was very excited for this book. However, it was very repetitive. Every other line was "this book will do this" or "this book will do that". There was no true purpose and the format became tiresome after only a few pages. It had great potential.
November 30, 2020
I agree with pretty much everything the author says, but I learned very little from this book. I think that will be the case for most people reading it. I can't say it didn't inspire me, or that it wasn't worth reading--the final chapters on listening and acting, especially, have some great points. I also appreciated the viewpoint that kindness isn't just small or random actions, but every choice we make.
That being said, I really didn't enjoy the tone the author took--very casual, and very very intent on making sure we know that he's just giving us his opinions, and that he could be wrong. While I appreciate his intent and his honesty, it's so overdone that it ended up just making me wonder why I was reading what he had to say at all.
At the end of the day I think this just isn't the book for me; it reads like an extended tumblr post in a way that's very internet, and I just don't enjoy that level of casual conversational-ness when I'm reading a book that I thought was going to teach me something. I know that a lot of people probably do! So I definitely wouldn't say this is a bad book or not worth reading, just that it wasn't what I wanted it to be. I also honestly and unfortunately feel that everyone picking this book up to read it (or continuing past the first pages, at least) already knows and agrees with the author about basically everything, and so very little learning actually happens.
That being said, I really didn't enjoy the tone the author took--very casual, and very very intent on making sure we know that he's just giving us his opinions, and that he could be wrong. While I appreciate his intent and his honesty, it's so overdone that it ended up just making me wonder why I was reading what he had to say at all.
At the end of the day I think this just isn't the book for me; it reads like an extended tumblr post in a way that's very internet, and I just don't enjoy that level of casual conversational-ness when I'm reading a book that I thought was going to teach me something. I know that a lot of people probably do! So I definitely wouldn't say this is a bad book or not worth reading, just that it wasn't what I wanted it to be. I also honestly and unfortunately feel that everyone picking this book up to read it (or continuing past the first pages, at least) already knows and agrees with the author about basically everything, and so very little learning actually happens.
October 24, 2020
I absolutely adored this book!! So much so that I’m planning on getting myself a second copy so I can have one nice one and then also one that I can highlight and make notes in.
This is essentially a book about moral philosophy, a subject that the author studied to a high level and knows well, and it presents his theory that empathy limiting mistakes are the root cause of unkindness. I believe that this book will be appealing to anyone with an entry level interest in moral philosophy (think, fans of The Good Place), and for me has been a great jumping off point to prompt me to explore other areas of the discipline and more academic works. However, even if you have no interest in learning about ethics and moral philosophy as an academic discipline, I’d still highly recommend this book as something you can read to prompt you to make kinder decisions without going further into the academic side, as it is written to be highly accessible to everyone. The argument the author makes is incredibly well formed, and will stick with you as you navigate life going forward, prompting you to be aware of the ways in which your empathy is limited, so that you can try to combat this and make the kindest possible decisions in your life. Plus it comes with plenty of Henry’s wonderful cartoons, as seen on his Instagram, as well as a whole host of new ones!!
Unfortunately I feel like the people who will get the most out of the book will be the people who are least likely to read it, as those making the most empathy limiting mistakes are likely to be people who hold the belief that they dont NEED to be kinder. If you’re someone who would pick this book up unprompted, you’re also probably someone who tries your best to be kind anyway, and whilst I still think that you have plenty to gain from reading this book and that it can increase the kindness of absolutely anyone, it’s a shame that it is unlikely to be read by those who need it the most. Personally, I’d recommend that absolutely everyone read this book, as there is no person on earth who is not unkind at least sometimes, and if everyone was aware of why we are kind, and why we aren’t kinder, the world would be a much nicer place to live. So I urge you, even if you think there is nothing you could get out of this book, please give it a chance. Kindness is a universally valued trait, so what have you got to lose by opening yourself up to the idea that you could be kinder?
I’d like to thank Henry again for writing this book, it has really deeply affected me personally and I’m genuinely excited for many many other people to read it, and hope that they open themselves up for it to have the same effect on them.
This is essentially a book about moral philosophy, a subject that the author studied to a high level and knows well, and it presents his theory that empathy limiting mistakes are the root cause of unkindness. I believe that this book will be appealing to anyone with an entry level interest in moral philosophy (think, fans of The Good Place), and for me has been a great jumping off point to prompt me to explore other areas of the discipline and more academic works. However, even if you have no interest in learning about ethics and moral philosophy as an academic discipline, I’d still highly recommend this book as something you can read to prompt you to make kinder decisions without going further into the academic side, as it is written to be highly accessible to everyone. The argument the author makes is incredibly well formed, and will stick with you as you navigate life going forward, prompting you to be aware of the ways in which your empathy is limited, so that you can try to combat this and make the kindest possible decisions in your life. Plus it comes with plenty of Henry’s wonderful cartoons, as seen on his Instagram, as well as a whole host of new ones!!
Unfortunately I feel like the people who will get the most out of the book will be the people who are least likely to read it, as those making the most empathy limiting mistakes are likely to be people who hold the belief that they dont NEED to be kinder. If you’re someone who would pick this book up unprompted, you’re also probably someone who tries your best to be kind anyway, and whilst I still think that you have plenty to gain from reading this book and that it can increase the kindness of absolutely anyone, it’s a shame that it is unlikely to be read by those who need it the most. Personally, I’d recommend that absolutely everyone read this book, as there is no person on earth who is not unkind at least sometimes, and if everyone was aware of why we are kind, and why we aren’t kinder, the world would be a much nicer place to live. So I urge you, even if you think there is nothing you could get out of this book, please give it a chance. Kindness is a universally valued trait, so what have you got to lose by opening yourself up to the idea that you could be kinder?
I’d like to thank Henry again for writing this book, it has really deeply affected me personally and I’m genuinely excited for many many other people to read it, and hope that they open themselves up for it to have the same effect on them.
February 15, 2021
I read in English but this review is in Bahasa Indonesia
Warna kuningnya memikatku ketika aku mampir ke Kinokuniya. Belum lagi judul dan ilustrasi anjing pada sampul membuatku penasaran, seperti apakah buku ini. Sayangnya, edisi cetak yang baru masuk pasar ialah dalam bentuk hardcover--bentuk yang kurang aku sukai karena tidak handy. Tentu saja, aku mencari edisi digitalnya.
Seperti yang tertulis pada bagian sinopsis, buku ini membuatku menduga-duga. Apakah akan seperti buku self-help kebanyakan (misalnya, bukunya Haemin Sunim) atau ada hal berbeda yang dibawa oleh penulis.
Buku ini cukup singkat. Ia hanya terdiri 7 bab yang berisi tentang bagaimana seseorang bisa menjadi lebih baik (kind atau bersikap sebagai orang yang baik hati). Tetapi pendekatannya membuatku kagum: filsafat moral. Eh maksudnya bagaimana?
Di bagian pendahuluan atau introduction, Garrett bercerita bahwa pertanyaan sederhana tentang bagaimana manusia bisa berbuat baik cukup membuat ia tertegun. Apakah benar manusia memiliki natur untuk berbuat baik atau ada tekanan lain yang memaksa manusia untuk berbuat demikian? Dari situlah ia mencari tahu hingga mencoba pendekatan dari sisi filsafat. Kebaikan manusia bisa saja terjadi karena manusia memahami yang namanya "moral."
Pada bab-bab selanjutnya, Garrett mulai mengambil contoh konkrit seperti bagaimana manusia bisa bersikap rasis dan melempar komentar seakan-akan rasisme itu tidak ada. Garrett pun juga mencoba menganalisis apakah sifat empati bisa kita "matikan" (switch off) atau itu hanya karena kita tidak peduli saja.
Setiap bab disajikan dengan singkat. Maksimal hanya 17 halaman sudah termasuk ilustrasi gemas dan jenaka. Selipan sindirannya cukup cerdas dan membuat pembaca sadar bahwa jangan-jangan gurauan semacam itu secara tidak sengaja dilontarkan (atau dengan kata lain, kita melakukan microagression).
Yang membuatku suka lagi ialah Garrett memberikan referensi bacaan yang bisa kita telusur lebih jauh. Membangun rasa peka kita terhadap sekeliling, sebab ia menuliskan bahwa kita tidak berempati karena kita tidak tahu bahwa ada seseorang yang teropresi. Dengan mendengar (dan membaca), kita jadi tahu kalau ada yang tidak beres dengan sekeliling kita.
This Book Will Make You Kinder akan aku beli edisi cetaknya jika sudah tersedia dalam format paperback. Buku singkat ini sangat disayangkan jika dilewatkan begitu saja.
Actually, kindness isn't optional. It isn't some side effect of market forces; it isn't a softness produced by the codding of snowflake millennials. Kindness is built into the fabric of what it is to be human, and once we understand that, we'll realize just how much kinder we could--and should--be.
Warna kuningnya memikatku ketika aku mampir ke Kinokuniya. Belum lagi judul dan ilustrasi anjing pada sampul membuatku penasaran, seperti apakah buku ini. Sayangnya, edisi cetak yang baru masuk pasar ialah dalam bentuk hardcover--bentuk yang kurang aku sukai karena tidak handy. Tentu saja, aku mencari edisi digitalnya.
Seperti yang tertulis pada bagian sinopsis, buku ini membuatku menduga-duga. Apakah akan seperti buku self-help kebanyakan (misalnya, bukunya Haemin Sunim) atau ada hal berbeda yang dibawa oleh penulis.
Buku ini cukup singkat. Ia hanya terdiri 7 bab yang berisi tentang bagaimana seseorang bisa menjadi lebih baik (kind atau bersikap sebagai orang yang baik hati). Tetapi pendekatannya membuatku kagum: filsafat moral. Eh maksudnya bagaimana?
Di bagian pendahuluan atau introduction, Garrett bercerita bahwa pertanyaan sederhana tentang bagaimana manusia bisa berbuat baik cukup membuat ia tertegun. Apakah benar manusia memiliki natur untuk berbuat baik atau ada tekanan lain yang memaksa manusia untuk berbuat demikian? Dari situlah ia mencari tahu hingga mencoba pendekatan dari sisi filsafat. Kebaikan manusia bisa saja terjadi karena manusia memahami yang namanya "moral."
Empathy is the ability we have to notice someone in pain and to feel some part of that pain..
Pada bab-bab selanjutnya, Garrett mulai mengambil contoh konkrit seperti bagaimana manusia bisa bersikap rasis dan melempar komentar seakan-akan rasisme itu tidak ada. Garrett pun juga mencoba menganalisis apakah sifat empati bisa kita "matikan" (switch off) atau itu hanya karena kita tidak peduli saja.
Setiap bab disajikan dengan singkat. Maksimal hanya 17 halaman sudah termasuk ilustrasi gemas dan jenaka. Selipan sindirannya cukup cerdas dan membuat pembaca sadar bahwa jangan-jangan gurauan semacam itu secara tidak sengaja dilontarkan (atau dengan kata lain, kita melakukan microagression).
Yang membuatku suka lagi ialah Garrett memberikan referensi bacaan yang bisa kita telusur lebih jauh. Membangun rasa peka kita terhadap sekeliling, sebab ia menuliskan bahwa kita tidak berempati karena kita tidak tahu bahwa ada seseorang yang teropresi. Dengan mendengar (dan membaca), kita jadi tahu kalau ada yang tidak beres dengan sekeliling kita.
This Book Will Make You Kinder akan aku beli edisi cetaknya jika sudah tersedia dalam format paperback. Buku singkat ini sangat disayangkan jika dilewatkan begitu saja.
September 25, 2020
This book offers a beautiful insight into important questions about what drives our moral action. It offers us the opportunity to honestly interrogate our moral behaviour, and often find ourselves wanting - not in a cruel or aggressive way, but in the perfect way that shows us how we should be asking more of ourselves, and how, until we do, we are failing.
The philosophical foundation to this book makes it incredibly interesting and insightful, whilst remaining accessible, and the authors anecdotes make it feel like you’re discussing important ideas with an old friend. You finish it feeling compelled to action, and sure that you will never be able to see the world in the same way again. Everyone needs to read this book and digest these ideas.
The illustrations offer a beautiful accompaniment to the words, and make the book feel like something really special to own - or to gift.
The philosophical foundation to this book makes it incredibly interesting and insightful, whilst remaining accessible, and the authors anecdotes make it feel like you’re discussing important ideas with an old friend. You finish it feeling compelled to action, and sure that you will never be able to see the world in the same way again. Everyone needs to read this book and digest these ideas.
The illustrations offer a beautiful accompaniment to the words, and make the book feel like something really special to own - or to gift.
October 25, 2020
A truly beautiful book. I’ve been a fan of Henry’s drawings on Instagram for a long time and to be able to see them printed in gorgeous colour was a joy. Alongside this, Garrett writes a compelling case for making the most of our own empathy, I particularly loved the chapter on exercising empathy through listening. An insightful and thought-provoking guide to becoming a little (or hopefully significantly) more kind. What’s not to like? I will definitely be buying more as gifts to share this wonderful find with others.
September 16, 2021
I found this book to be a thought-provoking, quick read on what motivates kindness and how we could all be kinder to one another. Sometimes the prose is a bit dense, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, as this is the kind of read that should be regarded with extra thoughtfulness. His illustrations, with their pithy captions, were the high point of the book, and I really wish there had been a lot more of them!
November 23, 2020
This book was everything I needed to read. It so naturally balanced academic writing and accessible language to bring about a wonderful argument about the need for kindness. I would recommend it to absolutely everyone.
December 20, 2020
While Garrett claims that he is not holding a sense of moral superiority or trying to shame anyone, it kinda feels like that is often the case.
December 27, 2020
10% helpful content, 20% repetitive rambling, 70% agenda.
May 5, 2021
Some great sound bytes and indeed some good points but it quickly turns into an account against white people and their universal privilege (for one, I don’t carry any privilege). This would be a more credible argument if the wrongs and cruelty of racism, psychosocial challenges and hatred of groups within themselves were also discussed. Instead it sounds at times like a diatribe with just one argument (blaming one set group for everything) and no counterpoints; I agree we can all be better and the author does a good job laying out the argument but to constantly beat the race card is annoying and very off-putting to those of us who are more nuanced or those of us who simply want to learn to do a bit better.
December 19, 2020
This is an incredibly stuffy and wordy book that takes chapters to say “reading yourself to remove your head from your bum and consider others’ situation before getting angry.” Quite honestly it could’ve been edited way, way down to just an essay on Medium. Not even the cute drawings could save this.
October 22, 2020
Just finished reading this book, and it is utterly brilliant.
At a time when the world seems in such acute need of kindness, this book is a compelling argument that kindness is rooted in empathy, and that our capacity to be kind is restricted (often culpably) by our own empathy-limiting mistakes.
I have long been a fan of Henry James Garrett's cartoons in print and social media (and loved the new ones in this book), but I was equally impressed by the cogent and engaging arguments he makes here. Despite tackling some weighty themes and philosophical questions, it manages to be accessible without being patronizing or simplistic. The writing is urgent and impassioned, without being sanctimonious (a tough ask in any "This book will..." title!)
The cartoons and doodles complement the tone and style of the written content beautifully, and I'm sure other existing fans will love the new work.
I bought this book smugly thinking that I was kind enough, and that it was other people who needed to be kinder. Instead, I have come away knowing that there is no such thing as "kind enough" in the first place. This book is not a pat on the back for the kindnesses that we do show; it is a call to arms for us all to be be kinder still, and a guide on how we can get there.
At a time when the world seems in such acute need of kindness, this book is a compelling argument that kindness is rooted in empathy, and that our capacity to be kind is restricted (often culpably) by our own empathy-limiting mistakes.
I have long been a fan of Henry James Garrett's cartoons in print and social media (and loved the new ones in this book), but I was equally impressed by the cogent and engaging arguments he makes here. Despite tackling some weighty themes and philosophical questions, it manages to be accessible without being patronizing or simplistic. The writing is urgent and impassioned, without being sanctimonious (a tough ask in any "This book will..." title!)
The cartoons and doodles complement the tone and style of the written content beautifully, and I'm sure other existing fans will love the new work.
I bought this book smugly thinking that I was kind enough, and that it was other people who needed to be kinder. Instead, I have come away knowing that there is no such thing as "kind enough" in the first place. This book is not a pat on the back for the kindnesses that we do show; it is a call to arms for us all to be be kinder still, and a guide on how we can get there.
January 28, 2021
This book helped me feel more empowered to practice meaningful empathy. The cartoons themselves could motivate someone to keep turning pages. I thought they were cute, hilarious, and at times mic-drop messages that cut deep.
This isn't your typical self-help book. Garrett writes with a more analytical style than I expected, which forced me to stop and reread some sections several times. I do think that was exactly one of his goals - to get his readership to consciously question how our decisions and assumptions could be stifling our ability to empathize more broadly (with more people) and deeply (beyond experiences we've lived). Ever since finishing the book, I've been asking myself a challenge question: "What mistakes am I making that are limiting my empathy?"
Another unique twist was Garrett's use of specific Instagram accounts - besides the usual books and articles - as reference material. I plan to explore these on my own time.
This isn't your typical self-help book. Garrett writes with a more analytical style than I expected, which forced me to stop and reread some sections several times. I do think that was exactly one of his goals - to get his readership to consciously question how our decisions and assumptions could be stifling our ability to empathize more broadly (with more people) and deeply (beyond experiences we've lived). Ever since finishing the book, I've been asking myself a challenge question: "What mistakes am I making that are limiting my empathy?"
Another unique twist was Garrett's use of specific Instagram accounts - besides the usual books and articles - as reference material. I plan to explore these on my own time.
December 20, 2021
I went into this expecting a short, light hearted book with a bunch of cartoons and lists of ways to be kinder. The only thing I got right is the cartoons. They're there, but they aren't the focus on the book.
Instead, this is a very meta look at kindness and asks questions such as why are we kind and why aren't we kinder, then digs to find out the answers. As an empath who considers myself to be a kind person, I spent the first third of the book wondering if it was for me. I understand empathy, I feel other people's emotions, I like to think I'm a very compassionate human. But once I hit about 40% in, I was thinking "oh shit, I make a lot of these mistakes and I CAN be kinder."
The core of the book is that we are kind because of empathy and we aren't kinder because of limits to our empathy. The author explores what sets those limits and how we can avoid making those mistakes, some of which are societal and rammed down our throats.
Every human should read this book. Especially if you already think you're kind. It made me see the world in a whole new way.
Instead, this is a very meta look at kindness and asks questions such as why are we kind and why aren't we kinder, then digs to find out the answers. As an empath who considers myself to be a kind person, I spent the first third of the book wondering if it was for me. I understand empathy, I feel other people's emotions, I like to think I'm a very compassionate human. But once I hit about 40% in, I was thinking "oh shit, I make a lot of these mistakes and I CAN be kinder."
The core of the book is that we are kind because of empathy and we aren't kinder because of limits to our empathy. The author explores what sets those limits and how we can avoid making those mistakes, some of which are societal and rammed down our throats.
Every human should read this book. Especially if you already think you're kind. It made me see the world in a whole new way.
November 3, 2020
I bought this book because i enjoyed the author's illustrations on Instagram. It wasn't what i expected but was delightful: it's a philosophy book on morality and empathy, intercut with some lovely drawings highlighting the key message in layman's terms (but there's still lots of work cited in the annex backing it up). Read it in one sitting. My only criticism is that the text in certain illustration is quite small! Would recommend for anyone who also loved The Good Place.
March 26, 2021
3.5. This would get a 5 for the illustrations alone. I was set to give it a 3 but the last section was great and, for me, what I'd have liked most of the book to be.
A good 2/3 of it, though, was a bit too jargon-heavy, cerebral, and detached. Very self-referential and not enough tacit guidance or modeling for its titular promise. Until the end chapter, that is. The author himself admits that it's his singular philosophy, and a meta investigation of it, so fair's fair, I guess.
But most people either won't get beyond the philosophy or beyond the "bias/politics".
Did this book make me kinder? No.
And yes.
A good 2/3 of it, though, was a bit too jargon-heavy, cerebral, and detached. Very self-referential and not enough tacit guidance or modeling for its titular promise. Until the end chapter, that is. The author himself admits that it's his singular philosophy, and a meta investigation of it, so fair's fair, I guess.
But most people either won't get beyond the philosophy or beyond the "bias/politics".
Did this book make me kinder? No.
And yes.
September 15, 2022
Definitivamente aprendí sobre los errores que cometemos y que limitan nuestra empatía. Ahora voy con los ojos más abiertos ante esos errores.
December 7, 2020
"Remember that oppression forces you to become an expert on that oppression, and privilege fosters in you an obliviousness that is its parallel. If we want to learn about forms of oppression, we have to listen to their survivors directly."
February 19, 2022
i'm an empath now.
October 24, 2020
I really enjoyed this book. It was thought provoking and simplified philosophical ideas for the non-philosopher. The illustrations were delightful and funny. I hope I can up my empathy and reduce my empathy-limiting mistakes. It has inspired me to try.
October 15, 2020
This book is a masterpiece in explaining complex concepts in simple terms, helped by gorgeous illustrations throughout. I wanted to start re-reading it the moment I'd finished it, for all the right reasons! I'd recommend everyone gets themselves (and everyone they know) a copy. If you think you can't get any kinder, this book will show you that you can and - most importantly - should.
December 29, 2020
This book was... alright, but not quite as good as I had hoped.
Part of the reason is that Garrett is a bit too self deprecating in his style. He writes over and over- some people may not like that I didn't write the book in such and such way. And actually... well... yes. I suppose I felt the way he imagined his critics would. For one, he doesn't delve into any kind of moral philosophy/ethics background. And that felt... missing.
Two, he much of what he writes felt pretty obvious. There's no real profound revelations here. His ideas on why we are kind, empathy, seems incomplete. How can you talk about emotional empathy without cognitive empathy? By refusing to do so, he seems to imply that everyone is an emotional empath like he is. There is quite a lot of room to vouch for cognitive empathy, but it doesn't even get a proper shout out.
Also incomplete is his proscribed goals toward becoming kinder. He does that kind of lightly at the end, but he won't give particular resources. And there are quite a lot of unanswered questions. Rather than saying that we should extend our empathy toward particular causes or ideals, he's basically like overstretch! Give to everything and everyone! And when you expect him to go into particulars for different causes he says "read other books that are better at it than I am".
Even the drawings, while occasionally humorous, were basically judgemental caricatures of ideas. The reader is supposed to know and be aware of most liberal ideas anyway.
While I realize this is a bit like a guidebook, it FELT really incomplete. There is maybe one scientific study that got a nod. There is one bit I really thought was really done, which was that we should disregard people who insist there is no way the status quo could be changed. I agree that it is often used to excuse cruelty.
So... I mean it's okay? And his basic thesis that we could all be nicer and should be is a good one and absolutely true. I just don't know if the book really tied together its ideas all that well.
Part of the reason is that Garrett is a bit too self deprecating in his style. He writes over and over- some people may not like that I didn't write the book in such and such way. And actually... well... yes. I suppose I felt the way he imagined his critics would. For one, he doesn't delve into any kind of moral philosophy/ethics background. And that felt... missing.
Two, he much of what he writes felt pretty obvious. There's no real profound revelations here. His ideas on why we are kind, empathy, seems incomplete. How can you talk about emotional empathy without cognitive empathy? By refusing to do so, he seems to imply that everyone is an emotional empath like he is. There is quite a lot of room to vouch for cognitive empathy, but it doesn't even get a proper shout out.
Also incomplete is his proscribed goals toward becoming kinder. He does that kind of lightly at the end, but he won't give particular resources. And there are quite a lot of unanswered questions. Rather than saying that we should extend our empathy toward particular causes or ideals, he's basically like overstretch! Give to everything and everyone! And when you expect him to go into particulars for different causes he says "read other books that are better at it than I am".
Even the drawings, while occasionally humorous, were basically judgemental caricatures of ideas. The reader is supposed to know and be aware of most liberal ideas anyway.
While I realize this is a bit like a guidebook, it FELT really incomplete. There is maybe one scientific study that got a nod. There is one bit I really thought was really done, which was that we should disregard people who insist there is no way the status quo could be changed. I agree that it is often used to excuse cruelty.
So... I mean it's okay? And his basic thesis that we could all be nicer and should be is a good one and absolutely true. I just don't know if the book really tied together its ideas all that well.
October 6, 2020
This book is a real treasure. It is a thoughtful exploration of kindness with a focus on empathy and morality.
I have always thought myself quite kind but have learnt so much on how to ignite more kindness in myself by delving inwards and understanding deep seated motives and behaviour in myself and others.
The cartoons add so much to the book as they are brilliant illustrations full of humour with pertinent words that really hit home thus complimenting the message beautifully by simultaneously being gentle and hard hitting; a message of learning to be kinder that would benefit everyone and simply cannot be ignored.
If you care at all about your fellow humans beings this book will make you care a million times more.
I have always thought myself quite kind but have learnt so much on how to ignite more kindness in myself by delving inwards and understanding deep seated motives and behaviour in myself and others.
The cartoons add so much to the book as they are brilliant illustrations full of humour with pertinent words that really hit home thus complimenting the message beautifully by simultaneously being gentle and hard hitting; a message of learning to be kinder that would benefit everyone and simply cannot be ignored.
If you care at all about your fellow humans beings this book will make you care a million times more.
July 1, 2021
This Book Will Suggest You Prescribe to All Modern Ideology in Order to Be Kind - is what this book should be called. It should be called - This Book Will Make You Mad OR Pat Yourself On the Back With Delicious White Liberal Guilt.
It is not really about kindness. There's a pretty OK formula Garrett repeats about kindness being empathy and lack of maximum kindness comes from ignorance in that empathy. I don't disagree, but then he sets it up to suggest that kindness needs to be viewed and administered through an intersectional lens, and that we need to listen to the oppressed more. Then he suggests that those in places of privilege have more work to do to be kind (what?).
This is nonsense. Wholesale. I'm not against listening. I'm not against amplifying marginalized voices. I am against viewing every interaction through these lenses, and the idea that kindness is somehow amplified or distorted by the the behaviors of any institution or society.
I digress. The art was cringe. Garrett's constant calling out of White Male Privellege of Platform is extra rich. I don't blame him for making money selling out the "class", I blame myself for giving him any.
It's A is for Advocates for Adults. If you enjoy feeling White Guilt, this is for you. I don't believe in the OTHERing that these lenses require. I don't think OTHERing is helpful. I understand that these ideologues call that a Spiritual Bypass. I disagree.
It is not really about kindness. There's a pretty OK formula Garrett repeats about kindness being empathy and lack of maximum kindness comes from ignorance in that empathy. I don't disagree, but then he sets it up to suggest that kindness needs to be viewed and administered through an intersectional lens, and that we need to listen to the oppressed more. Then he suggests that those in places of privilege have more work to do to be kind (what?).
This is nonsense. Wholesale. I'm not against listening. I'm not against amplifying marginalized voices. I am against viewing every interaction through these lenses, and the idea that kindness is somehow amplified or distorted by the the behaviors of any institution or society.
I digress. The art was cringe. Garrett's constant calling out of White Male Privellege of Platform is extra rich. I don't blame him for making money selling out the "class", I blame myself for giving him any.
It's A is for Advocates for Adults. If you enjoy feeling White Guilt, this is for you. I don't believe in the OTHERing that these lenses require. I don't think OTHERing is helpful. I understand that these ideologues call that a Spiritual Bypass. I disagree.
January 24, 2023
3.5 stars: This Book Will Make You Kinder was a tough read for me. The illustrations were cute, entertaining, and powerful. The drawings’ messages were very deep/relevant (made you really think about touchy topics of today), all while being adorable dogs or chickens or sloths. His illustrations were probably my favorite part of the book. I found parts of the content to be repetitive, over-explained, and more philosophical than I was expecting. I was turned off by the difficulty to understand his phrasing about something that could be worded in a simpler way, that would also attract a wider audience. After getting about half way through the book it was easier to digest and I found myself agreeing with a lot of his points and examples. I would like to mention that this book isn’t simply about how to be kinder in the sense of holding more doors open or people, but instead about how to rid yourself of the ignorance that shields your use of empathy towards oppressed groups of people (which was shocking for me to find out, but not bad).This book uses sexism, racism, ableism, etc. as examples of where we could be kinder while exploring our own ignorance and privilege. I especially enjoyed the section on how to be a better listener. Overall I would encourage readers to stick it out as I see this as a great resource for those wanting to be a kinder person in terms of world change.
December 13, 2022
2.5 stars. I love the idea of this book but wish it had more substance to support the theme.
January 17, 2021
I love this artist and have been following him on Instagram for years. I didn’t know this book would have such an intellectual and comprehensive call for increasing our kindness and empathy. That is a core value for me and I support this author 100%!
January 18, 2021
Wow, so much to think about here. If there is a book that every American needs right now, in 2021, this just might be it. Garrett does a great job of gently guiding the reader through the reasons we owe each other kindness and what keeps us from being kinder. He doesn’t duck hard truths about privilege, false beliefs, and the ways in which we choose to limit ourselves in pursuit of comfort of various types, but he approaches it in such a practical way that I was able to let it get past all of those self-preserving defense tactics that keep me from recognizing my own faults.
I will take many things from this book, but personally the most important things for me are to fight my natural instict to seek comfort - to arrange things in such a way that I don’t have to be uncomfortable thinking about my own actions or lack of actions - so that I can feel reasonably good about myself. I also will try to take particularly to heart the chapter on listening - I’m a pretty terrible listener and could really stand to put some effort into being better at that in all aspects of my life.
I will take many things from this book, but personally the most important things for me are to fight my natural instict to seek comfort - to arrange things in such a way that I don’t have to be uncomfortable thinking about my own actions or lack of actions - so that I can feel reasonably good about myself. I also will try to take particularly to heart the chapter on listening - I’m a pretty terrible listener and could really stand to put some effort into being better at that in all aspects of my life.
January 11, 2024
I want to be a more kind person. Empathy, thoughtfulness, and good listening are all skills I want to have and share. I believe that this book has helped me get closer to achieving this mindset.
One point that stood out to me was the notion that empathy is unequally distributed between the privileged and oppressed. Empathy-limiting factors like ignorance and choosing to look away contribute to a society where the kindness bar is extremely low.
I wish that more people were motivated to intentionally learn more about people who are different from themselves by listening. I mean listening in a variety of ways, like making space for oppressed folks to share their own stories, searching for ways to get uncomfortable with our own mistakes, and consistently working towards an imagined brighter future.
We will never know unless we try! I wish this stuff was taught in high school.
One point that stood out to me was the notion that empathy is unequally distributed between the privileged and oppressed. Empathy-limiting factors like ignorance and choosing to look away contribute to a society where the kindness bar is extremely low.
I wish that more people were motivated to intentionally learn more about people who are different from themselves by listening. I mean listening in a variety of ways, like making space for oppressed folks to share their own stories, searching for ways to get uncomfortable with our own mistakes, and consistently working towards an imagined brighter future.
We will never know unless we try! I wish this stuff was taught in high school.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 239 reviews