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The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement Hardcover – March 8, 2011

4.4 out of 5 stars 1,304 ratings

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With unequaled insight and brio, David Brooks, the New York Times columnist and bestselling author of Bobos in Paradise, has long explored and explained the way we live. Now, with the intellectual curiosity and emotional wisdom that make his columns among the most read in the nation, Brooks turns to the building blocks of human flourishing in a multilayered, profoundly illuminating work grounded in everyday life.

This is the story of how success happens. It is told through the lives of one composite American couple, Harold and Erica—how they grow, push forward, are pulled back, fail, and succeed. Distilling a vast array of information into these two vividly realized characters, Brooks illustrates a fundamental new understanding of human nature. A scientific revolution has occurred—we have learned more about the human brain in the last thirty years than we had in the previous three thousand. The unconscious mind, it turns out, is most of the mind—not a dark, vestigial place but a creative and enchanted one, where most of the brain’s work gets done. This is the realm of emotions, intuitions, biases, longings, genetic predispositions, personality traits, and social norms: the realm where character is formed and where our most important life decisions are made. The natural habitat of
The Social Animal.
 

Drawing on a wealth of current research from numerous disciplines, Brooks takes Harold and Erica from infancy to school; from the “odyssey years” that have come to define young adulthood to the high walls of poverty; from the nature of attachment, love, and commitment, to the nature of effective leadership. He reveals the deeply social aspect of our very minds and exposes the bias in modern culture that overemphasizes rationalism, individualism, and IQ. Along the way, he demolishes conventional definitions of success while looking toward a culture based on trust and humility.

The Social Animal is a moving and nuanced intellectual adventure, a story of achievement and a defense of progress. Impossible to put down, it is an essential book for our time, one that will have broad social impact and will change the way we see ourselves and the world.
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Guest Reviewer: Walter Isaacson on The Social Animal

Walter Isaacson, the CEO of the Aspen Institute, has been chairman of CNN and the managing editor of Time magazine. He is the author of Benjamin Franklin: An American Life and of Kissinger: A Biography, and the coauthor of The Wise Men: Six Friends and the World They Made. He lives in Washington, D.C., with his wife and daughter.

David Brooks has written an absolutely fascinating book about how we form our emotions and character. Standing at the intersection of brain science and sociology, and writing with the wry wit of a James Thurber, he explores the unconscious mind and how it shapes the way we eat, love, live, vacation, and relate to other people. In The Social Animal, he makes the recent revolution in neuroscience understandable, and he applies it to those things we have the most trouble knowing how to teach: What is the best way to build true relationships? How do we instill imaginative thinking? How do we develop our moral intuitions and wisdom and character? Brooks has always been a keen observer of the way we live. Now he takes us one layer down, to why we live that way.

--Walter Isaacson

An Amazon Interview with David Brooks

We talked with David Brooks about, among other things, Jonathan Franzen, Freud, and Brooks's own unfamiliar emotions, just before the publication of The Social Animal. You can read the full interview on Omnivoracious, the Amazon books blog, including this exchange:

Amazon.com: Speaking of Tolstoy, I bet a lot of people are going to quoting the first line of Anna Karenina to you: "Happy families are all alike. Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Is there a consistency between what makes a family happy, the way that this family turns out to be?

Brooks: You know, I never bought Tolstoy's line.

Amazon.com: I didn't either.

Brooks: I didn't know many happy families that were alike. One of the things you learn is that we're all so much more complex. We all contain multitudes, so someone who might be a bully in one circumstance is incredibly compassionate in other circumstances. We have multiple selves, and the idea that we can have a very simple view of who we are, what our character is, that's actually not right.

One of the things all this research shows you is how humble you have to be in the face of the complexity of human nature. We've got a 100 billion neurons in the brain, and it's just phenomenally complicated. You take a little child who says, "I'm a tiger," and pretends to be a tiger. Well that act of imagination--conflating this thing "I" with this thing "tiger"--is phenomenally complicated. No computer could ever do that, but it's happening below the level of awareness. It seems so easy to us. And so one of the things these people learn is they contain these hidden strengths, but at the same time they have to be consciously aware of how modest they can be in understanding themselves and proceed on that basis.

A Letter from Author David Brooks


© Josh Haner,
The New York Times Several years ago I did some reporting on why so many kids drop out of high school, despite all rational incentives. That took me quickly to studies of early childhood and research on brain formation. Once I started poking around that realm, I found that people who study the mind are giving us an entirely new perspective on who we are and what it takes to flourish.

We’re used to a certain story of success, one that emphasizes getting good grades, getting the right job skills and making the right decisions. But these scientists were peering into the innermost mind and shedding light on the process one level down, in the realm of emotions, intuitions, perceptions, genetic dispositions and unconscious longings.

I’ve spent several years with their work now, and it’s changed my perspective on everything. In this book, I try to take their various findings and weave them together into one story.

This is not a science book. I don’t answer how the brain does things. I try to answer what it all means. I try to explain how these findings about the deepest recesses of our minds should change the way we see ourselves, raise our kids, conduct business, teach, manage our relationships and practice politics. This story is based on scientific research, but it is really about emotion, character, virtue and love. We’re not rational animals, or laboring animals; we’re social animals. We emerge out of relationships and live to bond with each other and connect to larger ideas.

From Publishers Weekly

New York Times columnist Brooks (Bobos in Paradise) raids Malcolm Gladwell's pop psychology turf in a wobbly treatise on brain science, human nature, and public policy. Essentially a satirical novel interleaved with disquisitions on mirror neurons and behavioral economics, the narrative chronicles the life cycle of a fictional couple—Harold, a historian working at a think tank, and Erica, a Chinese-Chicana cable-TV executive—as a case study of the nonrational roots of social behaviors, from mating and shopping to voting. Their story lets Brooks mock the affluent and trendy while advancing soft neoconservative themes: that genetically ingrained emotions and biases trump reason; that social problems require cultural remedies (charter schools, not welfare payments); that the class divide is about intelligence, deportment, and taste, not money or power. Brooks is an engaging guide to the "cognitive revolution" in psychology, but what he shows us amounts mainly to restating platitudes. (Women like men with money, we learn, while men like women with breasts.) His attempt to inflate recent research on neural mechanisms into a grand worldview yields little except buzz concepts—"society is a layering of networks"—no more persuasive than the rationalist dogmas he derides. (Mar.)
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Random House
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 8, 2011
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 448 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 140006760X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1400067602
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.65 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.39 x 1.2 x 9.51 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 out of 5 stars 1,304 ratings

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David Brooks
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David Brooks is an op-ed columnist for The New York Times and appears regularly on “PBS NewsHour,” NPR’s “All Things Considered” and NBC’s “Meet the Press.” He teaches at Yale University and is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. He is the bestselling author of The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement; Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There; and On Paradise Drive: How We Live Now (And Always Have) in the Future Tense. He has three children and lives in Maryland.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
1,304 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book engaging and well-researched, describing it as a ground-breaking work in human psychology that presents current thinking on human behavior. Moreover, the narrative style is praised for being written in a story format, and customers appreciate the character development through fictional characters. Additionally, the writing style receives positive feedback for its wit and poetic phrasing. However, the pacing receives mixed reactions, with several customers finding it boring towards the end.

198 customers mention "Readability"198 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and enjoyable to read, describing it as a marvelous and important work.

"...In writing about the human mind, he explores happiness and the meaning of life, pulling from sources ranging from Walt Whitman to Poincare...." Read more

"I find that some of the most enlightening and enjoyable books come when an intelligent author that I trust studies a topic extensively and delivers..." Read more

"...Yet, it's more than that. This book will be terribly interesting to an audience will be deep and wide...." Read more

"...'s not my favorite style to read about science but it works fine as illustrations of the ideas...." Read more

188 customers mention "Intelligence"176 positive12 negative

Customers appreciate the book's intelligence, describing it as a ground-breaking work in human psychology that provides a wonderful overview in a broader context.

"...Brooks' characteristic writing style is funny, engaging, and smart, but sometimes sarcastic and intentionally provokative/offensive...." Read more

"...When a book is an interesting read and genuinely changes ones view of themselves and how their body and mind function, then how can one give it..." Read more

"...along with them on their journey through life - integrating science, philosophy and his own interpretation of the aforementioned - and weaving this..." Read more

"...I recommend reading this books for all the interesting facts. But be careful with adopting the authors conclusions...." Read more

123 customers mention "Narrative style"99 positive24 negative

Customers appreciate the narrative style of the book, noting it is written in a story way and has an interesting moderately well-written first half.

"...He binds up all the ideas in a cohesive story that has surprisingly sympathetic characters and a completely unexpectedly interesting character-..." Read more

"...It is written as a story about a couple Harold and Erica...." Read more

"...paragraph are bringing us a huge amount of quality information extremely well written in an interesting manner with references for further..." Read more

"...of scientific research, the reader gets a decent story packed with solid facts...." Read more

36 customers mention "Character development"29 positive7 negative

Customers appreciate the character development in the book, with one review highlighting the compelling narrative of fictional people and another noting how the author ties them to real-life examples.

"...He binds up all the ideas in a cohesive story that has surprisingly sympathetic characters and a completely unexpectedly interesting character-..." Read more

"...work and watching their commentary, I trust Brooks as an honest and forthright man so, though I cannot speak to the accuracy of his interpretations..." Read more

"...Another good point is the need for heroes as role models. "..." Read more

"...work of Harry Stack Sullivan (1892-1949), one of our nation's greatest psychoanalysts...." Read more

34 customers mention "Writing style"32 positive2 negative

Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, noting its poetic phrasing and sense of humor that makes it very readable.

"...Brooks' characteristic writing style is funny, engaging, and smart, but sometimes sarcastic and intentionally provokative/offensive...." Read more

"...First, there's Brooks' trademark graceful, humorous, engaging writer...." Read more

"...Thanks DB! Why is it good? Because of the author's wit, perception, and ability to be social...." Read more

"I loved this book. Count me one of the people who enjoyed Brook's writing style and approach. His writing is simple and entertaining...." Read more

14 customers mention "Flow"6 positive8 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's flow, with some finding it effortless and quick to read, while others describe it as a slow read with pacing that moves too slowly.

"...The book began to drag. 10,000 words were used to say something that could have been said in 1,000. Then his agenda became more pronounced...." Read more

"...of it during an eight hour plane ride, and it was the quickest eight hours I ever spent. Thanks DB! Why is it good?..." Read more

"...storytelling, he changes voice or direction that makes you lose all reading momentum. This, put simply, makes the book a chore...." Read more

"...in following two characters is a bit awkward, but it does keep the pace of reading snappy...." Read more

28 customers mention "Pacing"0 positive28 negative

Customers find the pacing of the book unsatisfactory, describing it as unengaging and boring, particularly towards the end.

"...This book does not offer deep analysis of studies, nor does it come close to being exhaustive in its depiction of all the research done in this field." Read more

"...This is not a scientific work. It's a journalist putting forth his opinion. In any event, it was interesting reading and got me thinking...." Read more

"...an interesting moderately well-written first half but an off-topic second half, unless that's what you want to read...." Read more

"...Honestly, I think the storyline is a bit weak (again, why 4 stars instead of 5), but I think that's because it must meander in certain ways to make..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2011
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I must be the ideal audience for this book because I found it to be a wonderful mix of great writing, new ideas, and interesting information.

    The goals of Brooks' book are "to synthesize [recent scientific] findings into one narrative... to describe how this research influences the way we understand human nature... to draw out the social, political, and moral implications of these findings."

    He achieves the goal of aggregating the research admirably. I don't consider myself well read on brain and cognitive sciences but I read several science blogs and had encountered many of the info-bites he introduces, many of which are extremely recent. A random sampling of research results he mentions:
    "six-month-old babies can spot the different facial features of different monkeyse, even though, to adults, [the monkeys] all look the same."
    "Anthropologists tell us that all cultures distinguish colors. When they do, all cultures begin with words for white and black. If the culture adds a word for a third color, it is always red."

    Brookes uses a device of narrating the lives of 2 invented people, Erica and Harold. For example, to illustrate ideas on decision making, he introduces Erica's coworker Raymond whose "knowledge of his own shortcomings was encyclopedic. He knew he had trouble comparing more than two options at a time... so he would build brackets and move from one binary comparison to the next. He knew he liked hearing evidence that confirmed his opinions, so he asked Erica and others to give him the counterevidence first," etc. After describing a situation within the context of the narrative, Brooks jumps in to elaborate with more information. I feared this tactic would be too forced and would thereby fall on its face but he actually pulls it off! He binds up all the ideas in a cohesive story that has surprisingly sympathetic characters and a completely unexpectedly interesting character-driven plot.

    Brooks uses his characters' lives and personalities to illustrate his ideas. One theme that arises is that rational thought is far from the dominant component of human reality: "Unaware of what is going on deep down inside, the conscious mind assigns itself the starring role... people are still blind to the way unconscious affections and aversions shape daily life." Underestimating the importance of culture in forming the subconscious and thus human behaviors causes the government to misdirect their energies, focusing on "money and guns" rather than community. Brooks argues for a more paternalistic government that shapes culture: "You can pump money into poor areas, but without cultures that foster self-control, you won't get social mobility... You can establish elections but without responsible citizens, democracy won't flourish... it was not enough to secure a village; they had to hold it so that people could feel safe, they had to build schools, medical facilites, courts, and irrigation ditches; they had to reconvene town councils... the hardest political activity- warfare- depended on the softest social skills- listening, understanding, and building trust."

    Brooks' characteristic writing style is funny, engaging, and smart, but sometimes sarcastic and intentionally provokative/offensive. Example: "Like most upper- amd upper-middle-class children, these kids are really good at obscure sports. Centuries ago, members of the educated class discovered that they could no longer compete in football, baseball, and basketball, so they stole lacrosse from the American Indians to give them something to dominate." I'd seen this style of soft science writing before, most recently in a book called Spent: Sex, Evolution, and Consumer Behavior. Brooks manages to keep his punchiness sparse enough that I don't tire of it but if that style doesn't appeal to you, you may want to steer clear.

    At times Brooks writes beautifully, surprising me with his poetic phrasing, so for me this book also holds artistic value. In writing about the human mind, he explores happiness and the meaning of life, pulling from sources ranging from Walt Whitman to Poincare. Describing Harold's impending death, he writes, "his wife and his nurses served him with a care, patience, and devotion that surpassed all expectation. Their efforts were more dear to him because he knew that he could never repay them... It was hard at first to simply fall backward into their love."

    This book is great for someone who's interested in the human mind and wants an incomplete overview of recent developments in that area. It's also great for people who are interested in a unique perspective on how human nature relates to society and politics. Keep in mind Brooks is not a scientist- he's a journalist interested in culture and he uses various studies to inform his view but does not analyze the science. This book does not offer deep analysis of studies, nor does it come close to being exhaustive in its depiction of all the research done in this field.
    201 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2012
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    I find that some of the most enlightening and enjoyable books come when an intelligent author that I trust studies a topic extensively and delivers facts, thoughts, and practical applications. That is what this book is to me. If you have interest in the topic of how the subconscious and conscious mind combine to create the perceptions and thoughts that define your world and how people behave in it, then this book may be for you. I personally came into this book with relatively little knowledge on the topic, though it is something that I have recently been thinking about quite a bit. It seems as if this is a topic that Brooks has spent many years studying and pondering. Whatever you may think of David Brooks or his politics, you would be hard pressed to describe him as anything short of a very intelligent man and, as much as one can trust a writer from merely reading their work and watching their commentary, I trust Brooks as an honest and forthright man so, though I cannot speak to the accuracy of his interpretations of the research, I am inclined to trust it. If you are an expert in this field, maybe you would find significant misinterpretations or omissions in Brooks use of technical aspects of this book, but that is not something that I, as a layman, can determine. Unless I read any specific complaints from an expert, I am willing to highly recommend this book to both friends and the Amazon community.

    Let me make one point to ensure you are getting what you expect: This book contains the life stories of two fictional characters, but that part of the book only exists as a method for Brooks to deliver his message. This book is not about the characters but rather it is about what Brooks has learned from his study of research on the human brain. Thought I think this format allows Brooks to reach a broader audience, I didn't find the fiction to be the strength of the book. You shouldn't be buying this book for the value or quality of the fictional aspects.

    This book is though provoking, and I genuinely feel that it changed my view of how my own mind works. I expect that I will consider things that this book introduced me to on a regular basis and sometimes in practical aspects of my life. When a book is an interesting read and genuinely changes ones view of themselves and how their body and mind function, then how can one give it less than 5 stars?
    9 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • StoneRiver
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very good
    Reviewed in Canada on February 28, 2025
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This book is so very good. I was looking for inspiration to pick me up and return me to my cheerful go getter mode, and this book made me feel good and focused. I read books to clear my mind and gain perspective. This book provided that in abundance.
  • balu
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
    Reviewed in India on January 4, 2024
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    A very well written and insightful book. Well researched by the author.
  • A Higley
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great read, good humor!
    Reviewed in Mexico on October 7, 2021
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Great read, story and psychologically interesting and entertaining. I haven't even finished but have already given it as a gift.
  • Marc Munier
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, Educational, and quite deep!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 12, 2011
    I bought this after hearing that policy makers were clambering as it gave such insight into "the human condition", so I was expecting a popular science type book along the lines of Freakonomics, Tipping Point etc. This book was so much more, the narrative of Harold and Erica gave real substance to the facts provided and the arguments made.

    Every page is crammed full of fascinating facts from the number of physical contacts Brits make compared to South Americans while having coffee to how the brain works. It's also a kind of a manifesto for the sub-conscious, if we are the sum of our experiences then you could look at the sub-conscious as our soul - deep stuff....

    I really enjoyed the book and have made a page of facts to use in presentations and another page of books to read from the bibliography!

    Well worth buying
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Schweedie
    5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book I've Read
    Reviewed in Germany on July 10, 2013
    Devoured this book in just a few days. An interesting look at life. Could not put it down and immediatly ordered more David Brooks books after finishing this one. A fabulous read for a student of sociology or of life, for that matter.