Never go to “Planet Word” in Washington DC
In fact, don’t try to take kids to Washington DC if you can possibly avoid it.
This is my public service announcement. This is the value I feel I can add to the world today.
Dana and I decided to take the kids to DC for spring break. The trip, alas, has been hell—a constant struggle against logistical failures. The first days were mostly spent sitting in traffic or searching for phantom parking spaces that didn’t exist. (So then we switched to the Metro, and promptly got lost, and had our metro cards rejected by the machines.) Or, at crowded cafes, I spent the time searching for a table so my starving kids could eat—and then when I finally found a table, a woman, smug and sure-faced, evicted us from the table because she was “going to” sit there, and my kids had to see that their dad could not provide for their basic needs, and that woman will never face any consequence for what she did.
Anyway, this afternoon, utterly frazzled and stressed and defeated, we entered “Planet Word,” a museum about language. Sounds pretty good, right? Except my soon-to-be 7-year-old son got bored by numerous exhibits that weren’t for him. So I told him he could lead the way and find any exhibit he liked.
Finally my son found an exhibit that fascinated him, one where he could weigh plastic fruits on a balancing scale. He was engrossed by it, he was learning, he was asking questions, I reflected that maybe the trip wasn’t a total loss … and that’s when a museum employee pointed at us, and screamed at us to leave the room, because “this exhibit was sold out.”
The room was actually almost empty (!). No one had stopped us from entering the room. No one else was waiting to use the balancing scale. There was no sign to warn us we were doing anything wrong. I would’ve paid them hundreds of dollars in that moment if only we could stay. My son didn’t understand why he was suddenly treated as a delinquent. He then wanted to leave the whole museum, and so did I. The day was ruined for us.
Mustering my courage to do something uncharacteristic for me, I complained at the front desk. They sneered and snickered at me, basically told me to go to hell. Looking deeply into their dumb, blank expressions, I realized that I had as much chance of any comprehension or sympathy as I’d have from a warthog. It’s true that, on the scale of all the injustices in the history of the world, this one surely didn’t crack the top quadrillion. But for me, in that moment, it came to stand for all the others. Which has always been my main weakness as a person, that injustice affects me in that way.
Speaking of which, there was one part of DC trip that went exactly like it was supposed to. That was our visit to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Why? Because I feel like that museum, unlike all the rest, tells me the truth about the nature of the world that I was born into—and seeing the truth is perversely comforting. I was born into a world that right now, every day, is filled with protesters screaming for my death, for my family’s death—and this is accepted as normal, and those protesters sleep soundly at night, congratulating themselves for their progressivism and enlightenment. And thinking about those protesters, and their predecessors 80 years ago who perpetrated the Holocaust or who stood by and let it happen, is the only thing that really puts blankfaced museum employees into perspective for me. Like, of course a world with the former is also going to have the latter—and I should count myself immeasurably lucky if the latter is all I have to deal with, if the empty-skulled and the soul-dead can only ruin my vacation and lack the power to murder my family.
And to anyone who reached the end of this post and who feels like it was an unwelcome imposition on their time: I’m sorry. But the truth is, posts like this are why I started this blog and why I continue it. If I’ve ever imparted any interesting information or ideas, that’s a byproduct that I’m thrilled about. But I’m cursed to be someone who wakes up every morning, walks around every day, and goes to sleep every night crushed by the weight of the world’s injustice, and outside of technical subjects, the only thing that’s ever motivated me to write is that words are the only justice available to me.
Follow
Comment #1 March 15th, 2024 at 5:56 pm
Dear Scott,
I am very sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I am struggling to understand *why* those people were so incredibly rude. Are they like that all the time? Did they decide for whatever ominous reasons that they don’t like you and your family and acted accordingly? Is American society just failing?
I feel like giving them a slight benefit of the doubt, and not blaming this directly on anti-semitism. I am saddened to notice that a lot of this is actually the norm in the even more progressive Europe, which makes even daily logistics a living hell. Treating customers like criminals is the default, at least in my humble experience. Put unintegrated people who do not know any better in one of those customer service jobs, and that’s what you get. Pray that the US does not end up like that too.
Comment #2 March 15th, 2024 at 6:21 pm
LOL. The story was supposed to be depressing, but actually that was a funny read!
I expect the obligatory barrage of hostile and self-righteous commenters, explaining how lucky and privileged you are, while engaging in banal political debate about things they have very little knowledge about. Good luck!
Comment #3 March 15th, 2024 at 7:34 pm
Sorry to hear about that. Hopefully this will put your experience in perspective.
I’ve been in NYC and DC (and a few other crowed places in the East and West coasts and in Europe).
I’ve found that (generally speaking) on the US East coast and poorer areas of Southern Europe there is such attitude of “mors tua, vita mea” (i.e. I have to take away from you as much as I can just to live). People be at least very unkind if not outright rude as the ones you encountered. Like it’s part of local culture.
Full disclosure: I grew up in one of such places and I was like that myself. Not sure why, I was just like that. After having moved elsewhere and appreciated the “kindness in contagious” attitude of the West coast of the USA and other places, I am now deeply disappointed by what often happens in those places, and my past contributions to it.
FWIW, I did bring my kids to DC a few years ago, and while the subway was like what you experienced (but I came prepared and I did not even try to drive), walking on the Mall was good, the Smithsonian and the Zoo were great, so maybe there’s hope.
Comment #4 March 15th, 2024 at 7:34 pm
Theorist #2: I’m genuinely glad if anyone derived amusement from my story. Yes, laughing about it and writing about it are pretty much the only two things that have ever brought me relief.
Comment #5 March 15th, 2024 at 7:50 pm
Disgruntled #1: To be perfectly clear, I don’t think people do these things to me because I’m Jewish; I think they do them to me because I’m me.
I don’t think you can understand me, at all, without knowing that this has been my experience of the world for as long as I can remember—since very early childhood. People step on me. They bully me. They treat me as a weird nerd whose existence on the planet is subject to their approval—and they’re helped by the fact that I treat myself that way. This is what I’m used to and what I expect. Except that every so often I’m pleasantly surprised by meeting someone who’s sympathetic and kind. And also, of course, if the people know and care who I am in CS, then a weird inversion sometimes happens, where the lowest becomes the highest, and suddenly I’m getting deference and respect rather than bullying and contempt.
All these have been the constants of my life for decades. The one thing that’s new in the last couple years is that I’m now traveling with two kids who are old enough to understand it. They see that they’re denied food, or play opportunities, or whatever, because other people treat their father like crap, and because their father never fights back, treating the blankfaces as the world’s de facto rulers. And the idea that my kids would be mistreated upsets me so much that, for the first time in my life, it’s starting to give me the courage to respond in these situations with justified anger rather than merely resignation over the world’s horribleness.
Comment #6 March 15th, 2024 at 8:05 pm
One time I wanted to visit the Library of Congress in DC, but they wouldn’t let me in because I was under 18.
Comment #7 March 15th, 2024 at 8:47 pm
Scott, have you considered malicious compliance?
In this museum situation, I suggest you find a good place to post a review, where you are strictly honest about the situation you experienced. Such as:
This museum has many boring exhibits, and one interesting one. Unfortunately the staff are obligated to block access to this, so no-one can use actually it. Disappointing.
Comment #8 March 15th, 2024 at 9:00 pm
Mr_Squiggle #7: That’s a great review! I already left a long 1-star Yelp review, focusing on the deadness and emptiness of the staff I interacted with and how their transparently pointless rule enforcement ruined my family’s day. Your review is tighter and probably better.
Comment #9 March 16th, 2024 at 12:28 am
Hey Scott,
I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog for maybe 5 years now (found it through the other Scott at SSC/ACT), but I’ve never commented. Despite being tired and in bed, your post evoked such strong feelings that I felt compelled to get on my computer and reach out.
I’m really sorry that you and your family had such a poor experience in Washington DC, but thank you so much for sharing it nevertheless. Injustice, even at a small scale, has always been a big trigger for me; it is so difficult for me to “get over” things like that. Because I get really anxious and am not confrontational, I end up just accepting the injustice and then feeling like I’ve not lived up to my moral principles and failed some “generic” idea of justice by implicitly accepting it through inaction.
Anyway, your story and the way in which you described your experience really resonated with me. This also goes for various previous posts of yours, but I’ll resist my natural urge to be completely comprehensive and leave it at that for now. This post and ones like it have made me feel less alone in these feelings and experiences, and for that, I thank you! :). Best wishes for you and your family, especially as you navigate these particularly trying times.
Comment #10 March 16th, 2024 at 3:36 am
Sorry for your experience in DC. I agree completely that the Holocaust Museum is the most effective and honest Museum in DC – it is an intense experience. We live in Arlington and always take the Metro if we can – traffic and parking is just too difficult otherwise. There are great experiences available in DC that are mostly free – if you ever plan to repeat your visit, drop me an email and I will be happy to provide information for possible interesting and lesser known experiences for your family. A recent one was an exhibit at American University of artwork by the generation of Holocaust relatives (I remember about 10 artists) whose grandparents were slaughtered by the Nazis – very effective. My wife’s grandfather was killed by the Nazi’s for sheltering Jews after the Nazi’s took over Czech Republic so it was particularly moving for her.
Comment #11 March 16th, 2024 at 4:55 am
Scott,
What do you blame this injustice on ? How we have organized societies —>Human nature(greed, stupidity) –>Evolution —>2nd Law of Thermodynamics
The dichotomy of human life has been perennial, we seem to have come a long way from the violent tribal origins, yet so far away from the potential we can achieve as a species, especially given the technological progress that has been achieved.
So from the words in blog posts to making progress in quantum computing and AI, you are contributing towards bending the arc of morality towards justice. This should be good enough reason to keep going at it.
Comment #12 March 16th, 2024 at 6:56 am
Hi Scott, I’m sorry you guys had a tough time in DC. Yeah, there can be some rough edges to the district, it’s like JFK’s joke about the combination of southern climate and northern hospitality. Still, it can be a great place to visit for young families. I’ve learned a lot from you over the years and feel much obliged, so, if you ever change your mind and feel like trying again, I’d be happy to host and give you all a guided tour to make your trip as easy and enjoyable as possible.
Comment #13 March 16th, 2024 at 7:23 am
Daniel #9: Thanks! It means a lot to me.
Comment #14 March 16th, 2024 at 7:28 am
John Cherniavsky #10: Thanks so much for your moving comment. I’m sure we will return to DC sometime. I think a key mistake I made is treating DC as still a place where you could just show up, wander around the Mall, and play it by ear. That’s no longer true—or certainly not with kids who refuse to walk long distances! Almost every museum now requires timed entry. Every parking spot now needs to be reserved in advance … or else the Metro needs to be studied in advance, etc etc.
Comment #15 March 16th, 2024 at 7:29 am
Handle #12: Wow, thanks so much! Maybe I’ll take you up on that sometime.
Comment #16 March 16th, 2024 at 8:19 am
It took me decades before my sister being diagnosed with what was once called Asperger’s Syndrome helped me to finally realize how much it explained about similar problems I’d had with incessant interpersonal abuse along every stage of life from elementary school through college and on into the workplace. In general, nerdiness and being on the spectrum go together like the proverbial peas and carrots. Not saying this is necessarily true in your case, but if you’ve not considered it before you might want to look into it.
I recall a study result indicating the autistic are instantly marked as unlikable in photographs by a large contingent of the populace. We are simply not putting out the right social signals with our facial expressions and for a lot of people that acts as a signal to distrust or even attack. I think a lot of us are confused by people taking instant strong dislikes to us after having almost no actual time spent with us. Turns out our faces are often the actual “Kick Me” signs.
In terms of Gaza-related protesters, it’s strange how subjective that is. Someone like Norman Finkelstein and many other Jews come to precisely the opposite conclusion about who the (more?) aggrieved party is in the Israel/Palestine conflict. The way people seem to talk past one another around the whole subject is surely one of the most dismal aspects of it all. And discussions tend to quickly devolve into ad hominem attacks and accusations of bad faith on every side. I suppose the reason impressions are so widely varying is everyone has their own curated set of facts to point to and they give more or less weight to any given event or argument based on their own life experiences. So in some real sense it may well be entirely subjective, with all locked into irreconcilable conflict.
Comment #17 March 16th, 2024 at 9:41 am
Steven Optera #16: Thanks so much. Yes, there absolutely could be something to that, something about my appearance or mannerisms or facial expressions or whatever that make some people hate me the moment they meet me. (And I, in turn, then tend to categorize those people as blankfaces.) I guess I can feel consoled by the fact that there’s also a small minority of people who seem to really, really like me the moment they meet me—long before I feel like I’ve done anything to earn it!
As for Norman Finkelstein, and “Jewish Voice for Peace” and “IfNotNow” and all the other anti-Israel Jews: when I think about what could possibly cause me to agree with them, I always think about the famous Golda Meir saying, about how if Israelis are forced to choose between being dead and pitied or alive and hated, they choose the latter. (Or perhaps: the creation of the State of Israel represented the moment when Jews finally decisively chose the latter, after 2000 years of persecution culminating in the Holocaust.)
And then I think: but what if that’s wrong? What if “dead and pitied” is actually preferable? And I model the anti-Zionist Jews as ones who’ve considered the question carefully and very forgivably come to that conclusion—if not for themselves or their families (which would require an uncommon taste for martyrdom), then for most of the world’s other Jews.
Comment #18 March 16th, 2024 at 11:43 am
Hi Scott. I’ve followed your blog for years and I like it and I like you. (Please write another book!)
Do I remember correctly that it was another trip to DC that got you arrested, or nearly so?
Comment #19 March 16th, 2024 at 12:35 pm
Patrick Dennis #18: Thanks so much—I really appreciate it!
LOL, no, the time I almost got arrested was after a flight from Boston to Philadelphia. But it had the commonality that I was traveling with my kids, which is very, very often when the most depressing and aggravating things happen to me.
Comment #20 March 16th, 2024 at 12:35 pm
Sorry to hear that. Disappointed children on a trip that was supposed to be fun sounds really painful indeed 🙁 I hope they will come to see it as an adventure. We had a rather nightmarish experience on our last vacation (by which I mean I literally have nightmares about it), but for the kids it has become somewhat of a running joke.
On a rather philosophical level, I don’t think that the subjective experience of injustice has much of a correlation with the objective one (if there is such a thing). If that was so, the world would be a very different place.
Comment #21 March 16th, 2024 at 1:21 pm
Damn! That hurt to read (not nearly as much as it did to experience, of course.)
I had to travel a lot doing field service of turbines for GE. Often something went wrong, to the point that I swore never to get on a plane to a strange place again after retiring. So far I never have. Had to miss some weddings.
I’m guessing, and this is a wild guess, but most people are IQ 100 or below and can’t understand good English with big words, or may react negatively to it.
This morning I walked to a Panera’s to order a breakfast sandwich: scrambled eggs and bacon but no cheese, on a brioche, to go. I had to repeat it to the counterlady twice. She couldn’t figure out how to enter it. Finally a more experienced person told her how to do it after I repeated the order again. When I finally got the sandwich it had cheese. (They replaced it without any harsh words from them or me–if you don’t count, “I repeated ‘no cheese’ three times. It has cheese” (showing them).
I’ve been mean to people myself in the past, and may be again sometime. I lay awake in bed remembering those times a lot. Or sometimes while day-dreaming, which usually makes me slap my forehead. Maybe some of those museum people will too.
I can’t believe we’re still doing things like Ukraine and Gaza. Humanity is what it is, I guess.
Comment #22 March 16th, 2024 at 4:13 pm
This is just like an episode from my (daily) life in the 1970s Moscow.
Perhaps you can use the experience to educate your children about Soviet Union and socialism.
Comment #23 March 16th, 2024 at 6:45 pm
Trips to crowded tourist spots with kids are more often than not a comedy of errors and it sounds like yours turned out that way!
Since it seems like some of your disappointment in the trip was around a concern about having your children see you as someone who couldn’t support them, I just wanted to comment that your kids are seeing more than you may always be aware of – they are seeing a father who loves them and their mother and who provides for them intellectually, emotionally and financially. The older they get, the more clearly they’ll see your intelligence, integrity, humor, courage to speak the truth, and the respect you’ve earned from people whose respect is actually worth having. It’s a good thing to teach your kids to recognize which battles actually matter and scuffles over restaurant tables and museum exhibits don’t qualify!
Comment #24 March 16th, 2024 at 6:47 pm
I’m sorry to hear about the bad experience you guys had. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not you. Huge love to you and to yours from this part of the world!! Here’s hoping your next family trip will be a great one!!
Comment #25 March 16th, 2024 at 11:01 pm
There are zillions of good museums in DC. Smithsonian is awesome. International Spy Museum. Why would you even think of visiting a museum about words?
Comment #26 March 17th, 2024 at 5:32 am
Craig #25: We did go to the spy museum the same day, and it was indeed great, like 100x better than I was expecting. After the spy museum, we had a couple hours to kill and, I dunno, Dana wanted this language museum.
One thing that’s new and unwelcome, since the last time I visited DC, is that almost every museum requires you to reserve spots in advance.
Comment #27 March 17th, 2024 at 7:03 am
Hi Scott,
Sorry to hear about the awful trip to DC. Too bad the kids are not old enough to ride all the scooters around town as I’d bet that alone would have made the trip for them.
I feel like in such situations where you’re face to face with the faceless people an act of non-violent subversion would be appropriate. Some explicitly non-normal action that could shake up the situation and that might act as a release valve for your sense of injustice. Not that I know what such an act of subversion should be in any specific situation. If you can think of any in such a time and place I bet it’d be a wonderful thing to pass along to your kids; seeing dad act subversively in the face of injustice and thereby adding some humor and levity to it.
When I say an act of subversion I mean something non-violent and non-harmful but also terribly naughty. Think merry pranksters or discordians. Playing “bird is the word” on repeat at very loud decibels on huge speakers outside the “word” museum or smth. Anyway, just a suggestion and again sorry to hear about your experience.
Comment #28 March 17th, 2024 at 11:18 am
Scott, I didn’t know they want you to reserve spots in advance. The last time I was in DC was during the pro Israel protest after Oct 7 massacre. The difference between that protest and other DC protests was that one you needed a blue wrist band to get in and there were fences separating protesters. DC has become less spontaneous. Metro is the best way to get around there. They designed it to be driver unfriendly.
I went to the Spy museum the year it started right after 9-11. It was good then but now it is probably much better. If you are ever in Baltimore, the Baltimore Museum of Industry is a great place.
If you worked at a museum where language is the theme competing against places like the Spy museum, the Air Space museum, would you be a happy? It may seem like a wonderful idea on paper but museums are supposed to be visual.
Comment #29 March 17th, 2024 at 1:33 pm
Random thoughts on all this
1) It would have been ironic if the Holocaust museum also followed meaningless rules and said they were just following orders. Glad they didn’t.
2) The notion that you can’t just show up, you need to reserve- I think thats true in general.
3) I wonder if what you described for the Planet Word is a problem in general. People following either out-of-date rules or just doing stupid rules, or making up rules as the go along, or whateer the problem was.
4) Your comment about `this is why you started the blog, to write blog posts like this one’ inspired me to look at your first blog post to see if thats true. It is. You wrote “I knew I’d have to write about what actually mattered to me.”
5) Next time you are in Washington DC, we can get together and write a grant on
Quantum Ramsey Theory. If it gets funded we’ll figure out what it means.
Comment #30 March 17th, 2024 at 2:46 pm
Scott, I really shouldn’t do this as it’s bad risk/reward. But I found your post quite affecting and thought-provoking in terms of, well, social justice. I suppose before analyzing it, in that spirit, I should say I’m so sorry this happened to you, and it’s good that you’re apparently emotionally OK after the experience.
However, what intrigued me, is how here it’s as if you’ve taken the argument of the “Pyramid of White Supremacy” (something I don’t think would be popular to this audience), and said “this, but unironically, applied to me/Jews/Anti-Semitism”.
Here’s one copy of it if you don’t know it, note the site:
https://templeharzion.org/home/our-community/social-action-2-2/
The “Pyramid” argument is basically that the most minor slight is linked to the worst atrocity as merely different instances of the same principle. Thus the bottom is stuff like “Not believing experience of POC”, and the top is “Genocide”. This isn’t to say, a strawman, that those are identical. But it’s all connected. As you put it (emphasis mine):
“It’s true that, on the scale of all the injustices in the history of the world, this one surely didn’t crack the top quadrillion. But for me, in that moment, it CAME TO STAND for all the others. Which has always been my main weakness as a person, that injustice affects me in that way.”
That is, considering:
“… who perpetrated the Holocaust or who stood by and let it happen, is the only thing that really puts blankfaced museum employees into perspective for me. Like, of course a world with the former is also going to have the latter …”
Compare, if someone wrote:
“… who perpetrated slavery and lynchings or who stood by and let it happen, is the only thing that really puts the pseudoscientific racism so common to “Rationalists” into perspective. Like, of course a world with the former is also going to have the latter. I should count myself immeasurably lucky if the latter is all I have to deal with, if the empty-skulled and the soul-dead can only ruin my leisure reading and lack the power to murder my family.”
I think the heat of the offended reaction would melt screens.
Of course I’m not accusing you of pseudoscientific racism, to be very clear. I’m saying the way you talk about your feelings here really strikes me as extremely similar to the whole discourse of “microaggressions” and such, and how upsetting it can be to experience even small irritations if thought of as in a framework of injustice.
I’m not sure there’s any simple lesson. Some days I wonder if the critical theorists are right, and everything’s just tribal politics.
Comment #31 March 17th, 2024 at 3:48 pm
William #29:
Maybe the following non-local game: on [n], the judge challenges Alice with an edge e1 and she must return a colour c1, and Bob with an r-subset X and a colour c2 and he must return an edge e2 \in [X]^2. The players win unless e1=e2 and c1!=c2. Can they guarantee a win for any n>R(r,r)?
Comment #32 March 17th, 2024 at 4:29 pm
Sorry to hear that your plans had gone awry. I can empathize, I too am naturally conflict averse in these sorts of social settings, and likely would have myself quietly left in order to avoid a fight, all the while peeved and annoyed at the absurdity of the request.
Your description of ‘Planet Word’ as a museum dedicated to language (though it sounds like it was disappointing overall in this regard) reminded me of my experience visiting the Chester Beatty museum in Dublin, which is probably best described as a museum dedicated to the history of the written word, with artifacts on display ranging from old stone tablets, to ancient and medieval illuminated manuscripts from various corners of the world. It was satisfying to, for a couple hours, be surrounded by reminders of how much reverence and care was given to written text by our predecessors, given how cheap a commodity it can be today (for better or worse). I suspect that the subject matter and contents of the museum wouldn’t be of much appeal to most children, but if you happen to find yourself near Dublin Castle with an hour or two to kill (it is a small museum) I considered this among the highlights of a recent trip. (It’s free, so if you don’t enjoy it at least you can say you got your money’s worth).
*End unsolicited travel suggestion*
Comment #33 March 17th, 2024 at 6:20 pm
I’m probably foolish for gratuitously wading into a bitter political debate, and to be honest, I wish I could avoid ever thinking about Israel and Gaza again. But the ironic part is that I think our politics are very similar except for the particular binary state they happen to collapse into when measured on one particular axis, and so I hope that it is useful to explain my own perspective.
First the obligatory disclaimers: I support the right of Israel to exist, and I don’t doubt that there are legitimate anti-semites on the pro-Gaza side. The nature of large coalitions practically guarantees it. But it is also easy to avoid ever having to change your mind by focusing on the most extreme parts of an opposing coalition, and the reflexive way that all criticism of Israel gets labeled as “antisemitic” is really frustrating.
1973 was a long time ago. In my own lifetime, Israel has been an unquestioned regional power, and in my own lifetime, I’ve seen the Two State Solution go from a reasonable hope to a sick joke. The Palestinians weren’t blameless there, but neither were the Israelis, and playing a 50-year old victim card isn’t going to work forever.
I have never supported Hamas, but Netanyahu has supported Hamas, so why does criticizing *him* get *me* branded “pro-Hamas”?
I recognize that Israel is in a tough situation with no easy answers. But a large part of that is the consequence of historical decisions, including by people who are still in power, and even putting that aside, that shouldn’t mean Israel can do whatever it wants without facing any criticism. Given the long history of bloodshed, it would probably take decades to achieve peace even if Israel magically started trying now, but the alternatives are still far worse.
The other thing I hope to reassure you is that most people are not out to get you, despite the way things might feel when everything gets reduced to a binary and you focus on the most extreme elements and assume they are representative of a broad coalition.
Comment #34 March 17th, 2024 at 7:33 pm
Jim V # 21
Jack Nicholson famously handled a similar problem in “Five Easy Pieces.”
https://youtu.be/PlwibCZbF8Y?si=f0r0Af62Uydij1ZA
Comment #35 March 17th, 2024 at 8:02 pm
I have always had a good time in DC, but I didn’t have young children with me. The Hirshhorn is stunning for instance. The Lincoln Memorial is awe inspiring. I enjoyed running on the Mall with the FBI agents who were all faster than me although none of them looked like Clarice Starling. My daughter dissolved in tears at the Holocaust Museum which I didn’t think was inappropriate. My Mother was in the Łodz ghetto till she was transported to a slave labor camp in Częstochowa where she met my Father. I’m glad we had the experience.
Comment #36 March 18th, 2024 at 8:17 am
Hello Scott,
I saw you at STOC 2002 in Montréal when I was a Master student, but I was too shy to discuss your work at the time. I left theoretical CS years ago and I still follow your blog. Never too late for a first post 🙂 While many of our society’s most thorny issues are very complicated and the result of centuries of misunderstandings and grievances, your post touched me in a very mundane way: lack of civic-mindedness, like you experienced at that café and museum, drives me completely crazy BECAUSE it is so gratuitous. Like the mother who almost killed my daughters riding their bicycles to school in her humongous Mercedes because, god forbid, she was running late to drop her kids to school. Or the Italian man I almost fought because he threw his cigarette butt 500 meters down the glacier from the Jungfraujoch in the Swiss Alps in front of 50 no smoking signs. This does not only happen “because you are you”. Cheers!
Comment #37 March 18th, 2024 at 12:06 pm
If you were Black, then your story would be considered proof of systemic racism.
I could also tell stories of being inexplicably targeted for abuse. Perhaps I am somehow inviting it with my personality or demeanor, but I do not see how. Keep up the good work.
Comment #38 March 18th, 2024 at 2:34 pm
Perhaps your children see the day differently than you and experienced a really cool dad, who fought for their rights and got very angry on their behalf even in view of the limited chances of success.
Comment #39 March 18th, 2024 at 5:24 pm
Scott, I really don’t think anti-war protesters want you or your children dead. I’ve seen several of these protests first-hand and their main goals seem to be raising awareness about the conflict and condemning killings of Gazan civilians. Remember that rare pro-Hamas sentiments among protesters/college students get exponentially more amplified by media attention than more common positions.
Comment #40 March 18th, 2024 at 6:43 pm
Richard M #39: Oh, I realize they don’t all want me and my children dead! On the other hand,
(1) a large fraction of the protesters, possibly a majority, say explicitly that they will not be satisfied by a two-state solution or anything short of the total dissolution of the state of Israel, and
(2) it takes willful ignorance to believe that a dissolution of the state of Israel would not be followed immediately by a second genocide of the Jews (not a war with too many civilian casualties like the one in Gaza, but an actual genocide), which is what Hamas and its predecessors openly say they want and have attempted every time they saw an opportunity, going all the way back to their alliance with Hitler in WWII.
So then, what: have the protesters simply not thought about it for long enough to put (1) and (2) together?
Comment #41 March 19th, 2024 at 12:19 am
William Gasarch #29: Haha! We might beat you to it without ever leaving UT. One of David Zuckerman’s postdocs, Jesse Goodman, expresses a love for Ramsay theory. I’ve tried to convince him to join the bandwagon and make it quantum…
Comment #42 March 19th, 2024 at 12:34 am
Scott, sorry to hear about your time in DC. I grew up 30 minutes from DC, and went to college 2 hours from DC. It really is a culture *shock* between there versus the surrounding areas. Maybe dealing with DC traffic or DC metro everyday eventually wears on people. Anyways, it’s not just you.
One option I would never consider myself – but I don’t have kids – is to spend the (lots of) money on those guided tours around town and VIP passes at museums, etc.
Comment #43 March 19th, 2024 at 1:17 am
At what age should one learn that the world is largely occupied by assholes?
Comment #44 March 19th, 2024 at 7:00 am
Scott, I was moved by your post. I write this as much for myself as for you. Your story struck a chord with me. As a not particularly assertive person who has become a parent in recent years, I have also felt a tipping point as my children experience injustice. Small injustices that I would normally let slide suddenly have the weight of eons of evolutional backing. It’s like depriving my children of their spot in line is tantamount to eugenically removing their genes from the species. I try to balance this feeling with some perspective, but it can overwhelm reason quite easily.
I’m not one who typically complains to staff or writes bad reviews. I tend to default to giving benefit of the doubt, and I tend to think that if I can go without to allow others to thrive, that I should do so. Clearly, this lunch table is more important to her than it is to me. Nonetheless, I wish I could have been there to bully your bully for you, though it may be outside of my character.
My father is a person who has always been able to stand up for himself and others, sometimes bull-headedly, and often in situations in which I would rather avoid the discomfort of conflict; however, there have been a handful of times in life that this trait was so valuable and admirable that it brings tears to my eyes just thinking of what he means to me and what he is willing to do for those in his care. Though I may never have that same blend of personality traits, I do hope to, through practice and experience, emulate those more assertive characteristics, especially when it comes to the wellbeing of my loved ones.
My hope for you is that you may also find that forcefulness of will is within your capacity in specific, needed contexts. As thoughtful as you are, I trust you to identify contexts in which it is appropriate to give preference to your needs or those of your children and to be willing to defend that preference. I hope that you can trust yourself to do so as well. We may fear that, having let loose this assertive aspect of ourselves, we run the risk of becoming the tyrants we despise. Never forsaking thoughtfulness and self-examination, always struggling with a sense of right and wrong, we may find great strength in our convictions, enough to say that it is not only permissible, not only right, but entirely necessary that we keep this lunch table.
Onward and upward,
Matt
Comment #45 March 19th, 2024 at 8:13 am
Matt #44 (and others who wrote kind words): Thanks so much; it means a lot to me that this post resonated with other people’s experiences. I recognize, of course, that it would be better to be more assertive in the moment than to acquiesce and then write a blog post about it later. But maybe the latter isn’t so bad if I think of it as a step toward the former.
Comment #46 March 19th, 2024 at 8:26 am
Richard Gaylord #43:
At what age should one learn that the world is largely occupied by assholes?
That’s a superb question and one that I’ve been struggling with as a parent. Probably the real answer is that human assholeness has many facets, and kids become ready to understand different facets at different ages (also, of course, it varies by kid). A 5-year-old might already see bullies go unpunished while the teacher punishes the kids who tried to stand up to the bullies, but not yet be ready to grasp the Cultural Revolution, Stalin’s purges, or the Holocaust.
As a practical matter, I feel like my 11-year-old daughter got a lot from the Holocaust Memorial Museum (but then quickly went back to thinking about Minecraft and Taylor Swift). My 6-year-old son did not get much from it, except from the special children’s exhibit called “Daniel’s Story.” Then again, my son keeps asking me how the war in Ukraine is going, and whether Putin is still dictator of Russia and still throwing the people who criticize him off of buildings. The fact that a bad guy rules such a huge part of the world clearly bothers him enormously.
Comment #47 March 19th, 2024 at 8:33 am
Here’s ChatGPT4 on Richard Gaylord’s question:
Learning about the complexities of human behavior, including negative aspects like selfishness or unkindness, is part of growing up and varies significantly among individuals based on their environments, upbringing, and experiences. There isn’t a specific age that’s considered appropriate for everyone to learn about these realities. Instead, it’s important that as individuals grow, they’re gradually introduced to life’s realities in a manner that’s appropriate for their age and emotional maturity.
For children and young people, it’s beneficial to learn about empathy, kindness, and how to navigate social interactions positively. They can also be taught about resilience and how to handle difficult people or situations. These lessons are usually best conveyed through guided experiences and age-appropriate discussions that encourage understanding and personal growth.
As for dealing with challenging behaviors in others, education on this topic should ideally be ongoing and adapt to an individual’s understanding and experiences as they age. It’s also crucial that this education includes strategies for maintaining one’s own well-being and positive outlook, despite the negative behaviors of others.
Comment #48 March 19th, 2024 at 8:50 am
Richard Gaylord #43:
“At what age should one learn that the world is largely occupied by assholes?”
That reminds me of the statistic that 80% of teachers think they’re in the top 10th percentile of best teachers…
So, according to your assumption, the question really should be
“At what age should one realize he/she is an asshole?”
Comment #49 March 19th, 2024 at 9:21 am
I’m sorry you experienced this. I hope the staff read your Yelp review (or this one) and do some self-reflection.
Comment #50 March 19th, 2024 at 2:57 pm
If the exhibit was sold out, letting you in could be violating the fire code. It might look sparse in the area you were in but they track it over a bigger area etc. for complying with the code. A personal exemption because you had a bad day could end up getting them fired.
Comment #51 March 19th, 2024 at 4:26 pm
Charles A #50: I could see the whole room, and there were only a few other people there. They were all allowed to stay; only my son and I were kicked out.
Comment #52 March 19th, 2024 at 7:39 pm
Well that’s good it wasn’t for fire reasons. If it was in here, it seems it is a group activity area with suggested groups of 4 to solve cases, I’m not sure if the age limits there are a typo but if not that would be an exclusion criteria too:
“LEXICON LANE
Like mysteries, riddles, and puzzles? Reserve a puzzle case and solve the mysteries inside. $30 per case, with a suggestion of 4 people per case.”
https://planetwordmuseum.org/lexicon-lane/
If they let you in, then someone else comes up and says hey you let him in, should they get allowed in too? Then the whole planned activities in there start getting disrupted (if that’s where it was), so I can still see their side.
Comment #53 March 20th, 2024 at 12:26 am
Incidents like that can be difficult for a sound mind to grasp. Luckily, scientifically speaking, I can say that your experience had a perfectly rational explanation:
It is said that a group of twelve young congressional staffers at one time desired to pass laws that they might watch over terrible machines made in the image of men. No sooner had they drafted a bill, as they were scorned: by a lobbyist, who convinced the representative they worked for that no legislation was necessary. Vexed, they were, traveling down main street, until something in a window caught their twenty-four glassy eyes. Happening upon, in that dusty shop that is no longer here today, a monkey’s paw, they wished to experience even greater exercise of authority than the one they had been so recently denied. The very next day their representative was expelled from Congress, and they all lost their jobs. Nine months passed, they did – a very auspicious number in this superstitious business, and in the meantime through various ways and means and committees, the former staffers ended up with entry-level employment in the same DC-area museum. It was then that the monkey’s paw glowed, and you walked in the door. In the twisted yet self-consistent reasoning of Fae folk, to lord over the watchman is necessarily a greater rank and station than to watch over his charges.
Comment #54 March 20th, 2024 at 1:52 am
Richard M 39 and Scott 40,
I think it is clear that all people who marched for Palestinians on October 8, the day after the massacre, were pleased with the massacre.
Comment #55 March 20th, 2024 at 12:31 pm
We are sorry that your visit fell short of expectations. What you describe is not representative of the fun, welcoming atmosphere that we’re known for. Upon receiving your email, we immediately initiated an investigation to fully understand what happened and how we might do better in the future.
You and your son inadvertently entered Lexicon Lane, our one-hour, ticketed puzzling experience, like an escape room, within the otherwise-free museum. Lexicon Lane is designed for visitors ages 12 and up, and is accessed via a paid, timed ticket; the last admission is at 2pm. Signs at the entrance describe the experience, but we do not have barriers to block entry. Typically, a staff member is stationed at or very near the entrance to greet guests, scan their tickets, and set them up for their puzzle challenge. When you entered around 3pm, staff had been pulled away to assist one of the dozen registered guests who were wrapping up their challenge. Your child indeed started playing with “fake fruit,” which are specially fabricated puzzle clues and props. Within a couple minutes, the staff member on duty explained this context and suggested exploring other parts of the museum.
We understand you experienced this situation as stressful and unnecessarily strict and, for that, we are sorry. We want visitors to leave Planet Word feeling joyful, inspired, and welcomed. Due to your feedback, we’re reviewing all Lexicon Lane signage and related staff assignments to more clearly direct guests to open areas, including quiet areas and areas for hands-on play. We are committed to doing better in the future.
Comment #56 March 20th, 2024 at 3:30 pm
P.S. No hard feelings if you want to leave that one in the moderation queue, I had meant to keep it abstract, but it became graphic without my noticing, due to the darkness of the subject matter.
Comment #57 March 20th, 2024 at 5:53 pm
Scott, as for the smug lady that evicted you and your family because “she was going to site there”, I’m surprised you did not simply tell her something along the likes of “I’m sorry, but my family and I were already sitting here.”
Comment #58 March 20th, 2024 at 8:12 pm
Adriana Licon #55: I’m grateful that you’ve investigated and replied to my complaint. As you know, I was under enormous stress that day, such that being publicly humiliated in front of my son was a last straw, and I now feel much calmer about the whole thing.
Nevertheless, I stand by my view that your “Lexicon Lane” is the archetype of terrible museum design. There was absolutely no sign at the door where my son entered, indicating that he or I shouldn’t enter. There was a tiny sign inside, but not one that someone who entered through that door would ever have seen if they didn’t turn around to look for it. Furthermore, if you don’t have the staff to gate entry to the room, then how do you have the staff to expel children from the room after they’ve entered and started playing quietly with an exhibit that no one else was using, bothering no one?
I of course would’ve gladly paid whatever charge there was to use that room, but this clearly wasn’t about money, nor was it about room capacity. As with the Mark Twain House in Hartford, which I blogged about years ago after it turned away my family for a blank-faced reason, this was about a desire to exert petty control over exactly how people experience a museum, just because one can.
It’s of course your prerogative to exercise that control. But if so, as minor as this is in the grand scheme of things, I’m sufficiently peeved by it to say: it’s also my prerogative to leave this post up, so that at least my little corner of the world is warned.
Comment #59 March 21st, 2024 at 11:19 am
At least you got to see the cherry blossom trees. I think most dependable tourism experience for DC area involves the guided bus tours to various monuments / statues / architecture. Most museums are too crowded during the busy season. Next time try checking out the national cathedral, had just went and was incredible, and the library of congress was almost as impressive as the national art gallery.
Unrelated matter, I recall one of the most consistent themes of this blog several years ago was associated with your criticism of the D-Wave architecture as a true demonstration of quantum entanglement or the like. I am curious if you have any new opinions based on their recent paper “Computational supremacy in quantum simulation”?
Comment #60 March 21st, 2024 at 3:30 pm
This confirms that the Aaronson family tradition of being utterly confused at basic interactions with the “unwashed masses”/”deplorables”/”blank faces”/… is going on strong! 😀
https://scottaaronson.blog/?p=3903
The remedy to this persecution complex would be to take a sabbatical from OpenAI to work for 6 months at “Planet Word” and see what it’s like to satisfy tens of thousands of visitors while dealing with all sorts of mishaps, and keeping it cool as a cucumber… 😀
Comment #61 March 22nd, 2024 at 8:59 am
It was John F. Kennedy who said, “Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.”
Comment #62 March 22nd, 2024 at 12:58 pm
Scott #40: Addressing (1) I don’t know what the numbers are on this, but there was a recent Pew poll (https://www.pewresearch.org/2024/03/21/views-on-the-consequences-of-the-israel-hamas-war/) in which every demographic surveyed showed more support for a two-state solution than a single Palestinian state, though “activist” wasn’t one of those demographics
Comment #63 March 22nd, 2024 at 4:03 pm
Scott, have you tried BJJ?
Comment #64 March 22nd, 2024 at 9:02 pm
After seeing a couple of your Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm-esque travails, I can discern a set of ingredients that seems to produce such a situation:
1) You’re having a really really bad day
2) Some place where you are trying to do some very mundane activity does a poor job of communication about some detail of how that place works
3) As a result, you end up doing something wrong there
4) The staff there fails to treat that with great tact and instead gets very rude, arrogant, and angry about it
5) Now your day is even worse, but you fortunately don’t wind up in jail (which is probably how the Seinfeld / Curb Your Enthusiasm episode would end), but you have an interesting anecdote for your blog
6) The SneerClub crowd has another anecdote to show how horribly antisocial you are, and lament that you didn’t end up in jail (probably due to white cis male privilege).
In this incident, the staff note here (and the earlier comment with a link to the web page about that exhibit) shed some light on what really happened. It was in fact an exhibit with special rules (along the lines of an escape room) and separate ticketing required, and the conditions included no entry after 2 PM and nobody under 12 years old, both of which were not met by you going in with your 7 year old son at 3 PM. So it’s understandable that the staff felt the need to intervene, though they could have been more polite about it, and it would have been avoided if they’d put a cordon across the entrance after entry ended and the staff was no longer at the door. Also, better signage would have helped.
Comment #65 March 23rd, 2024 at 9:14 am
There may be other sites in DC which are more interesting. The Postal Museum is excellent, and is aimed at a wide variety of age ranges. I would not make conclusions about the city due to one place.
Comment #66 March 23rd, 2024 at 6:33 pm
“… crushed by the weight of the world’s injustice …” Think about a statement by James D. Watson: “Most scientists are stupid and they work on unimportant problems.” Consider a conjecture: Most people are even stupider than most scientists, and most people who are employed hate their jobs. Is kvetching one of the few joys in life? I cannot get my idea about “paradoxical MOND inertia” published in a refereed journal — do I deserve such rejection? Maybe so.
Comment #67 March 24th, 2024 at 7:54 am
Probably the most optimistic video I’ve seen in recent times, and the one most relevant to current situation
Comment #68 March 24th, 2024 at 7:02 pm
Scott #40, Richard #62: I’m certain that it would not be antisemitic to point out the flaws in Scott’s argument that is expected of a CS theorist with several non-trivial theorems attributed to him.
“a large fraction of the protesters”: Scott does not bother defining what is “large”? Is it 10% or 90%? I can guarantee based on attending and participating in the pro-Palestine rallies myself that majority (> 90%) of the participants just want Israel to stop killing innocent civilians in Gaza, and they have no desire to harm any Israeli or want dissolution of Israel. Scott is just playing with the subtleties of the English language here to hoodwink (whether intentionally or unintentionally, and I want to believe it is the latter) the readers of this blog into believing that “large” fraction of pro-Palestinian supporters are in fact out to genocide Israelis. This is simply not true.
“it takes willful ignorance to believe that a dissolution of the state of Israel would not be followed immediately by a second genocide of the Jews”: Here Scott is simply making an attempt to predict the future, and no person on Earth possesses that ability. Not to mention that Israel being a nuclear power has zero chance of “ceasing to exist”, and even if say by some miracle Israel did get dissolved, there is no way on Earth that the world will stand by and watch Israelis become genocide victims of Hamas and the ilk. In fact almost the same very crowd that is marching in support of Palestine, will be marching in their support of innocent Israelis if such a situation were to ever arise.
I’d like to point out another thing about Scott that I have noticed while reading this blog recently. Scott has been on record saying something to the extent that he is willing to give a a pass to any Israeli who in the heat of the moment of Oct 7 and who potentially lost a loved one to the terrorist acts, may have openly made genocidal statements against Palestinians. Is Scott willing to extend the same courtesy to Palestinians who may have lost loved ones to the indiscriminate Israeli bombing of civilians (which has now killed almost 20-30x the number of innocent civilians that Hamas killed), and who may have participated in the pro-Palestine rallies holding signs calling for the dissolution of the state of Israel? Do they get a pass or is that right only applicable to Israelis? It is understandable that Scott clearly sympathizes more with Israelis than Palestinians (read how the top of his webpage says “deliberately gunning down Jewish (or any children) is wrong”), with a special emphasis on “Jewish” children.