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Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life
“Must the end of life be the worst part? Can it be made the best?” At 53, Eugene O'Kelly was in the full swing of life. Chairman and CEO of KPMG, one of the largest U.S. accounting firms, he enjoyed a successful career and drew happiness from his wife, children, family, and close friends. He was thinking ahead: the next business trip, the firm's continued success, weekend plans with his wife, his daughter's first day of eighth grade. Then in May 2005, Gene was diagnosed with late-stage brain cancer and given three to six months to live. Just like that. Now a growing darkness was absorbing the bright future he had seen for himself. He would have to change his plans, quickly, and capture what he could of his last diminishing days. Chasing Daylight is the account of his final journey. Starting from the time of his diagnosis and concluded upon his death less than four months later, this book is his unforgettable story. With startling intimacy, it chronicles the dissolution of Eugene O'Kelly's life and his gradual awakening to a more profound understanding. Interweaving unsettling details of his battle with cancer with his moment-to-moment reflections on life and death, love and success, spirituality and the search for meaning, it provides a testament to the power of the human spirit and a compelling message about how to live a more vivid, balanced, and meaningful life. Inspiring, passionate, deeply insightful, Chasing Daylight is a remarkable man's poignant farewell to a beloved world.
179 pages, Hardcover
First published December 5, 2005
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July 28, 2011
My husband read this book shortly after receiving a stage-4 terminal diagnosis. It was a huge help to him in resolving his feelings and being able to be "in the moment" and I'm grateful that I could be "in the moment" with him. I have since read this book myself and corny as it sounds, it's not a book about dying, it's a book about how to go about living. No regrets here, your life is what you can make of it.
January 29, 2018
Given that this memoir is written as a final testament after corporate CEO Eugene O'Kelly discovers that he has at most 3-6 months to live due to an inoperable brain tumour, with the whole of it written during that period, it would seem downright unsympathetic and unfeeling to say harsh things about it. Let me begin by saying that I fully appreciate his noble purpose in writing the book, that he truly believes that sharing the insights he has learned during his final days and months in confronting death by living his remaining days to the fullest and wrapping up his loose ends will be of use to others. Even if one were to be less than sympathetic, the yearning to leave a final account, as a form of immortality is surely quite a universal one, and quite understandable.
However, this memoir will face inevitable comparisons to The Diving Bell and Butterfly, Jean-Dominique Bauby's lyrical, poetic and deeply moving account of living completely paralyzed except for his left eyelid. And the comparisons, fair or otherwise, will be deeply unfavourable. Bauby's book is a poetic meditation on life, written in spare often beautiful prose. O'Kelly's writing is everyday, workmanlike, and to be completely honest, just about readable at best. Indeed, his corporate background clearly comes through when he speaks of challenging "core beliefs", finding a "mission" and for the need to "recalibrate".
To be honest, and I mean O'Kelly no disservice by this, this book would probably not have been published if not for the fact that O'Kelly was the CEO of KPMG. I say that not as an accusation - merely as an acknowledgement that must be made of the Reader's Digest nature of the memoir - of wrapping things up with old friends, of his love of Golf, of determining to live what remains of his life to the fullest. O'Kelly's is not the only individual facing such dire circumstances - merely one lucky enough, as he fully acknowledges, to have the wealth, resources and support to wrap things up nicely.
O'Kelly gives us some useful homilies on living life in the present moment, of what is truly means to be dedicated and also the power of being able to let go. But I, personally wasn't inspired by this book, as sympathetic as I tried to be to towards the author
However, this memoir will face inevitable comparisons to The Diving Bell and Butterfly, Jean-Dominique Bauby's lyrical, poetic and deeply moving account of living completely paralyzed except for his left eyelid. And the comparisons, fair or otherwise, will be deeply unfavourable. Bauby's book is a poetic meditation on life, written in spare often beautiful prose. O'Kelly's writing is everyday, workmanlike, and to be completely honest, just about readable at best. Indeed, his corporate background clearly comes through when he speaks of challenging "core beliefs", finding a "mission" and for the need to "recalibrate".
To be honest, and I mean O'Kelly no disservice by this, this book would probably not have been published if not for the fact that O'Kelly was the CEO of KPMG. I say that not as an accusation - merely as an acknowledgement that must be made of the Reader's Digest nature of the memoir - of wrapping things up with old friends, of his love of Golf, of determining to live what remains of his life to the fullest. O'Kelly's is not the only individual facing such dire circumstances - merely one lucky enough, as he fully acknowledges, to have the wealth, resources and support to wrap things up nicely.
O'Kelly gives us some useful homilies on living life in the present moment, of what is truly means to be dedicated and also the power of being able to let go. But I, personally wasn't inspired by this book, as sympathetic as I tried to be to towards the author
May 2, 2018
This book is a short read, but in those pages, it spares no detail regarding what a businessman, an intelligent, well-educated, highly thought of CEO, goes through when being told he has 3 months to live.
We all, at one time or another, think about death - most of us will ponder it, fear it, and put it on the back burner for "later" and get on with our lives. However, what happens when an otherwise healthy man in his 50's suddenly realizes the end is near? This is a man with long-term plans - retirement with his adoring wife in Arizona, seeing his daughters marry, meeting his grandchildren. His youngest daughter is only going into 8th grade when he gets the unexpected diagnosis.
After two weeks of complete and utter shock, Eugene O'Kelly pulls himself up by the bootstraps and lives more in the following months than he had in all the years prior. He thinks about the afterlife, what will happen to his family, what he can do to make this easier on them. Eugene is an extremely loving person and his focus immediately turns to others rather than himself. His first indication that something is wrong occurs during a game of golf, which he loves. He realizes he sliced the ball - not because he screwed up his swing, but because that's where his vision told him the hole was. After that, his cheek started to droop. Chalking it up to stress or a mild case of Bell's Palsy, he isn't worried when he goes to the doctor. That changes - and it changes quite quickly.
You can read this book in a couple of hours, but I guarantee its message will stay with you much longer than that.
We all, at one time or another, think about death - most of us will ponder it, fear it, and put it on the back burner for "later" and get on with our lives. However, what happens when an otherwise healthy man in his 50's suddenly realizes the end is near? This is a man with long-term plans - retirement with his adoring wife in Arizona, seeing his daughters marry, meeting his grandchildren. His youngest daughter is only going into 8th grade when he gets the unexpected diagnosis.
After two weeks of complete and utter shock, Eugene O'Kelly pulls himself up by the bootstraps and lives more in the following months than he had in all the years prior. He thinks about the afterlife, what will happen to his family, what he can do to make this easier on them. Eugene is an extremely loving person and his focus immediately turns to others rather than himself. His first indication that something is wrong occurs during a game of golf, which he loves. He realizes he sliced the ball - not because he screwed up his swing, but because that's where his vision told him the hole was. After that, his cheek started to droop. Chalking it up to stress or a mild case of Bell's Palsy, he isn't worried when he goes to the doctor. That changes - and it changes quite quickly.
You can read this book in a couple of hours, but I guarantee its message will stay with you much longer than that.
October 9, 2012
The one word that came to mind while reading this was "tedious". If I read CEO one more time, I think I would have quit reading. After the first paragraph you get it --he was a big shot in the business world. Did I need to keep being told about it? No!
Reading about someone's death is always touching. Story is interesting but it would have been better written as an essay rather than a book. It felt to me that I kept reading the same paragraph over and over; it was just arranged differently. I think it would be hard for most normal people to relate to this book. He was definitely one of the dwellers in the 1% realm.
There is much more I would say, but since most of it is not positive; I'll just say, it was an ok book.
Reading about someone's death is always touching. Story is interesting but it would have been better written as an essay rather than a book. It felt to me that I kept reading the same paragraph over and over; it was just arranged differently. I think it would be hard for most normal people to relate to this book. He was definitely one of the dwellers in the 1% realm.
There is much more I would say, but since most of it is not positive; I'll just say, it was an ok book.
August 20, 2017
"I was blessed. I was told I had three months to live."
So begins what should have been a haunting story of a man's death sentence right at a moment in time he was powerful, driven, successful, wealthy, and going 100 miles an hour in the direction of more.
As much as I desperately wanted to like this story, it just read like a CEO. He was a CEO. In case you missed that- he was a CEO. Did he mention he was a CEO, because he is a CEO. Just do not ever forget he is a CEO- writing a book to underlings on how to die.
It never veered in maudlin or emotional, because there was no emotions. Merely reminders Mr. O"Kelly would die the way he lived: a CEO. You got that right? He is a CEO.
There were statements, lists, litany's, bullet points, how-to's, epiphanies (that really weren't for most people) and lectures. He pontificated about things he just figured out like he founded the concepts. It was uncanny how he could talk about such deep, profound ideas and they come off utterly devoid of connection.
It read very programmatically and towards the end it became practically insufferable: it was if all of these epiphanies about life just dawned on him and now he needs to wag his finger in expertise about things he just figured out five minutes ago. The entire chapter on "The Perfect Moment: is a good example. The lecture about god to Corwin was particularly grating. Yes, you are dying. This is your death, but it does not follow that your experience and belief systems now must become the company policy, but he is a CEO.
Approaching death with a 'personal success' plan and perfection in mind made this story sterile at best.
"...a journey of the soul...that allied me to experience what was there all along but had been hidden, thanks to the distractions of the world." p.13
"It's a blessing. It's a curse. It's what you get for saying hello to people. At some point, a good-bye is coming too. Not just to all the people you love and who love you back, but to all the world as well." p.18
"A week before, I was living my life. Now, I was contemplating my death." p.40
"The business of dying is hard. The wrapping up. The paperwork, the legal work. The stuff that's boring and maddening about life when life is going well." p. 67
"Corrine and I entertained a long-time client and his wife whom we'd come to consider as friends." p.30
"...(we) sat in the waiting room of our second world-class neurosurgeon of the day..."p.37
"Corrine packed away all my shirts with French cuffs. They were way too difficult." p. 56
On meditation/presence being challenging: "But that was ok. I was used to hard work. I relished it." p.94
So begins what should have been a haunting story of a man's death sentence right at a moment in time he was powerful, driven, successful, wealthy, and going 100 miles an hour in the direction of more.
As much as I desperately wanted to like this story, it just read like a CEO. He was a CEO. In case you missed that- he was a CEO. Did he mention he was a CEO, because he is a CEO. Just do not ever forget he is a CEO- writing a book to underlings on how to die.
It never veered in maudlin or emotional, because there was no emotions. Merely reminders Mr. O"Kelly would die the way he lived: a CEO. You got that right? He is a CEO.
There were statements, lists, litany's, bullet points, how-to's, epiphanies (that really weren't for most people) and lectures. He pontificated about things he just figured out like he founded the concepts. It was uncanny how he could talk about such deep, profound ideas and they come off utterly devoid of connection.
It read very programmatically and towards the end it became practically insufferable: it was if all of these epiphanies about life just dawned on him and now he needs to wag his finger in expertise about things he just figured out five minutes ago. The entire chapter on "The Perfect Moment: is a good example. The lecture about god to Corwin was particularly grating. Yes, you are dying. This is your death, but it does not follow that your experience and belief systems now must become the company policy, but he is a CEO.
Approaching death with a 'personal success' plan and perfection in mind made this story sterile at best.
"...a journey of the soul...that allied me to experience what was there all along but had been hidden, thanks to the distractions of the world." p.13
"It's a blessing. It's a curse. It's what you get for saying hello to people. At some point, a good-bye is coming too. Not just to all the people you love and who love you back, but to all the world as well." p.18
"A week before, I was living my life. Now, I was contemplating my death." p.40
"The business of dying is hard. The wrapping up. The paperwork, the legal work. The stuff that's boring and maddening about life when life is going well." p. 67
"Corrine and I entertained a long-time client and his wife whom we'd come to consider as friends." p.30
"...(we) sat in the waiting room of our second world-class neurosurgeon of the day..."p.37
"Corrine packed away all my shirts with French cuffs. They were way too difficult." p. 56
On meditation/presence being challenging: "But that was ok. I was used to hard work. I relished it." p.94
July 27, 2013
I liked this book and since we are all going to die someday, I was curious how someone in their last months would view life and how we can learn from this for our own lives.
His diagnosis of brain cancer come rather suddenly and his book is his documentation of how he grappled with this fact, prepared for his upcoming death and learned different life lessons.
For me, I found the life lessons he learned during this time to be good for a person to ponder. Here are some of the lessons:
1. Live in the Present Moment: Most people live in the future, always working toward that "someday" when they will be able to retire, enjoy life and be happy but, as he found out, "someday" may never come so we must enjoy each moment of each day as best as we are able. He wrote the following:
"It was hard not to lament that one of the big reasons we'd sacrificed so much time together,
across so many years, as I traveled the world and worked ungodly hours - namely so that
on the other side of it we could enjoy a prosperous retirement together...but that dream
was gone now. Same with all my other personal goals for 2006, 2007, and every year after that"
pg. 7
Conversely, some people live in the past and let the hurts and disappointments of the past keep them bitter in the present and thereby rob them of the joy of the Present Moment.
So my lesson from Gene on this would be: Let go of the past - the hurts and pains - because you cannot change it now and, by holding onto it, you are destroying the beauty of today. As for the future, plan for it but remember that you are only guaranteed right now - not tomorrow or the next day but only the Present Moment so enjoy it right now - relish it and bask in it. It takes practice, according to Gene, to focus on the present but, to do so, makes life more rewarding.
2. Give people grace: These are my words, not his, but a short-handed way to express how he learned not to evaluate everything based on "competency" or "proficiency". Not everyone can always be on "top of their game" and each person has their own issues they are dealing with so try and be more gracious with people's shortcomings. Gene said, on page 68, "my tolerance for people - that is, my tolerance for imperfection - expanded"
3. You can't control everything: Relax, the things you can control (yourself), control...the things you cannot control (most everything), don't get upset over. (see pg. 70)
4. Commitment: Gene commented on how commitment is measured in the business world by how much of your time you are willing to give up or dedicate to your work. Thus, Commitment to Company = giving your most non-renewable resource to the company: TIME (specifically, your time which you cannot ever get back). But Gene came to see commitment, not as how much time you give up but how much energy one puts into a task or how much "presence" they give to the task at hand. Here is what he said:
" i had come to wonder about the true nature of commitment. In fact, it is not about time. It's not about
reliability and predictability. Commitment is about depth. It's about effort. It's about
passion...commitment is best measured not by the time one is willing to give up but, more accurately, by
the energy one wants to put in, by how present one is." pg. 78
"Before my illness, I ad considered commitment king among virtues. After I was diagnosed, I came to
consider consciousness king among virtues." pg. 91
5. We should prepare for our death just like we try and prepare for our financial security in retirement: Gene seemed to realize that most people live their lives in an unconscious quest for money - more and more of it - and never give thought to the ultimate destination we will all have to traverse - death. Although he was guilty of this himself, he realized the non-balance of it. He wrote this:
"They had no real motivation or clear timeline to stop what they were busy at, to step back, to ask what
exactly they were doing with their life...some people out there...understand that you start putting money
away now, so that it can grow to be sufficient for later in life, when you need it. Why wouldn't you start
doing that now with something at least as important as your money - your soul?" pg. 133
Those were the main lessons I saw in my reading.
Overall, it is a quick and worthwhile read and helps you to think about what is important in life now and also the fact that you should think about the ultimate transition and how to prepare for it since we will all reach that destination some day.
His diagnosis of brain cancer come rather suddenly and his book is his documentation of how he grappled with this fact, prepared for his upcoming death and learned different life lessons.
For me, I found the life lessons he learned during this time to be good for a person to ponder. Here are some of the lessons:
1. Live in the Present Moment: Most people live in the future, always working toward that "someday" when they will be able to retire, enjoy life and be happy but, as he found out, "someday" may never come so we must enjoy each moment of each day as best as we are able. He wrote the following:
"It was hard not to lament that one of the big reasons we'd sacrificed so much time together,
across so many years, as I traveled the world and worked ungodly hours - namely so that
on the other side of it we could enjoy a prosperous retirement together...but that dream
was gone now. Same with all my other personal goals for 2006, 2007, and every year after that"
pg. 7
Conversely, some people live in the past and let the hurts and disappointments of the past keep them bitter in the present and thereby rob them of the joy of the Present Moment.
So my lesson from Gene on this would be: Let go of the past - the hurts and pains - because you cannot change it now and, by holding onto it, you are destroying the beauty of today. As for the future, plan for it but remember that you are only guaranteed right now - not tomorrow or the next day but only the Present Moment so enjoy it right now - relish it and bask in it. It takes practice, according to Gene, to focus on the present but, to do so, makes life more rewarding.
2. Give people grace: These are my words, not his, but a short-handed way to express how he learned not to evaluate everything based on "competency" or "proficiency". Not everyone can always be on "top of their game" and each person has their own issues they are dealing with so try and be more gracious with people's shortcomings. Gene said, on page 68, "my tolerance for people - that is, my tolerance for imperfection - expanded"
3. You can't control everything: Relax, the things you can control (yourself), control...the things you cannot control (most everything), don't get upset over. (see pg. 70)
4. Commitment: Gene commented on how commitment is measured in the business world by how much of your time you are willing to give up or dedicate to your work. Thus, Commitment to Company = giving your most non-renewable resource to the company: TIME (specifically, your time which you cannot ever get back). But Gene came to see commitment, not as how much time you give up but how much energy one puts into a task or how much "presence" they give to the task at hand. Here is what he said:
" i had come to wonder about the true nature of commitment. In fact, it is not about time. It's not about
reliability and predictability. Commitment is about depth. It's about effort. It's about
passion...commitment is best measured not by the time one is willing to give up but, more accurately, by
the energy one wants to put in, by how present one is." pg. 78
"Before my illness, I ad considered commitment king among virtues. After I was diagnosed, I came to
consider consciousness king among virtues." pg. 91
5. We should prepare for our death just like we try and prepare for our financial security in retirement: Gene seemed to realize that most people live their lives in an unconscious quest for money - more and more of it - and never give thought to the ultimate destination we will all have to traverse - death. Although he was guilty of this himself, he realized the non-balance of it. He wrote this:
"They had no real motivation or clear timeline to stop what they were busy at, to step back, to ask what
exactly they were doing with their life...some people out there...understand that you start putting money
away now, so that it can grow to be sufficient for later in life, when you need it. Why wouldn't you start
doing that now with something at least as important as your money - your soul?" pg. 133
Those were the main lessons I saw in my reading.
Overall, it is a quick and worthwhile read and helps you to think about what is important in life now and also the fact that you should think about the ultimate transition and how to prepare for it since we will all reach that destination some day.
June 6, 2016
Было сложно читать книгу "В погоне за ускользающим светом" автор которой знает, что ему осталось жить около трёх месяцев...
Юджин О'Келли, 53 летний руководитель американского отделения KPMG, одной из крупнейших аудиторских компаний мира казалось бы имеет всё что нужно успешному человеку - успех, семья, карьера, достаток, но... диагноз неоперабельного рака мозга резко вносит свои коррективы в жизнь человека.
После таких книг враз "просыпаешь��я" и начинаешь более внимательно присматриваться к своим целям и жизненным ценностях, начинаешь ценить время и мгновения в близком круге семьи, родственников, друзей и знакомых... Происходит их переоценка.
Несмотря на то что такие книги сложно читать психологически, но считаю, что время от времени подобные книги будет полезно читать для каждого.
Юджин О'Келли, 53 летний руководитель американского отделения KPMG, одной из крупнейших аудиторских компаний мира казалось бы имеет всё что нужно успешному человеку - успех, семья, карьера, достаток, но... диагноз неоперабельного рака мозга резко вносит свои коррективы в жизнь человека.
После таких книг враз "просыпаешь��я" и начинаешь более внимательно присматриваться к своим целям и жизненным ценностях, начинаешь ценить время и мгновения в близком круге семьи, родственников, друзей и знакомых... Происходит их переоценка.
Несмотря на то что такие книги сложно читать психологически, но считаю, что время от времени подобные книги будет полезно читать для каждого.
Read
August 26, 2019This was a re-read. A fascinating memoir written by someone who had a very short time to live.
May 8, 2010
Mr. O'Kelly was the former CEO of KPMG, the firm that my husband used to work for. All KPMG employees were able to get a free copy of his book, so, Mr. B did.
Obviously autobiographical, it's about the methodical (yet poignant) manner in which O'Kelly went about the process of putting his affairs in order and saying good-bye to people when he found out he had less than three months to live. It's straight forward, not maudlin, and it has lots of golf analogies ("Chasing Daylight" being one of them).
It's very short (given he didn't live longer than the predicted three months; the book was actually finished by his wife) and worth reading; if only to remind us what most of us already know...
"Enjoy yourself. It is later than you think".
Obviously autobiographical, it's about the methodical (yet poignant) manner in which O'Kelly went about the process of putting his affairs in order and saying good-bye to people when he found out he had less than three months to live. It's straight forward, not maudlin, and it has lots of golf analogies ("Chasing Daylight" being one of them).
It's very short (given he didn't live longer than the predicted three months; the book was actually finished by his wife) and worth reading; if only to remind us what most of us already know...
"Enjoy yourself. It is later than you think".
April 5, 2023
Diagnose Gliablastom. Gehirntumor. Überlebenswahrscheinlichkeit 0%. Was macht ein KPMG CEO wenn er hört, dass in weniger als 3 Monaten das Leben abrupt enden wird? All diese Gedanken teilt er mit dem Leser. Wie er sich von all den Menschen verabschiedet, die ihn irgendwann mal im Leben begegnet sind und einen Eindruck hinterlassen haben. Bittersweet.
September 21, 2017
At the risk of sounding insensitive, the insight I got from this book wasn't worth the length of the book. I felt I could've read just the second half (or really, just the afterward) and have the same takeaways. Gene O'Kelly's writing isn't great, and I suspect it's because of his former role as CEO of KPMG that this was published. I felt his wife's writing at the end was much better, and the way she wrote about her partnership with her husband was heartwarming.
Despite the tediousness of the writing, I did find Gene's thinking around death to be systematic and clear. The idea of seeking "perfect moments" with different circles of friends and family was a useful point of reflection -- if faced with about 100 days before my death, who would I want to spend that time with and what would I want to do? Gene's type-A approach is a good blueprint for anyone should they find themselves in the situation of planning their death.
More than for the writing, this book was helpful in thinking about how to be deliberate about one's time, how to split time between spending it with new and old friends, and finding more ways to be spontaneous in one's life, which is what I think the person who recommended this to me had in mind. Like I said, not necessarily worth reading the whole book, but it's a quick read if you'd like to a springboard to think about these ideas.
Despite the tediousness of the writing, I did find Gene's thinking around death to be systematic and clear. The idea of seeking "perfect moments" with different circles of friends and family was a useful point of reflection -- if faced with about 100 days before my death, who would I want to spend that time with and what would I want to do? Gene's type-A approach is a good blueprint for anyone should they find themselves in the situation of planning their death.
More than for the writing, this book was helpful in thinking about how to be deliberate about one's time, how to split time between spending it with new and old friends, and finding more ways to be spontaneous in one's life, which is what I think the person who recommended this to me had in mind. Like I said, not necessarily worth reading the whole book, but it's a quick read if you'd like to a springboard to think about these ideas.
September 2, 2016
I checked out Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Lifeafter someone else’s recommendation, but I almost returned it to the library unread. A book about someone’s forthcoming death? I figured it would either be a total downer or would be one of those pink and purple fluffy cloud books. On a whim I decided to read the first few pages while I was packing the bag to go back to the library.
And I couldn’t put it down.
The author of the book, Eugene O’Kelly, was CEO of KPMG (one of the top three accounting firms, it’s a big deal) enjoying a busy but full life of 90+ hour workweeks, jetting around the world, and squeezing in time for his family here and there when out of the blue he was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and given three months to live. The way he responded to that set of circumstances is truly amazing. He both used his accounting/CEO skills to set goals and pack more into his last 100 days, and also was open to changing his entire mindset to reorient his priorities and prepare himself and his family for his passing.
Along the way, O’Kelly wrote this book, hoping to give others insight into how they might be better balanced for a long life, or more prepared if their life is shortened. It certainly offers a great deal to think about. Once you start thinking about what you’d do differently if you knew you only had 100 more days left on earth, it gets you thinking about your priorities and how you actually spend your time. For example, O’Kelly realized that he had been having breakfasts and lunches all the time with people of only peripheral importance in his life, but had only made time in his workday for two lunches with his wife in the past decade. He didn’t regret the professional drive that had brought him so much satisfaction, but he realized that he could have done a better job at balancing and still been effective in business, perhaps even more effective. It was interesting to contemplate my life and relationships in that way.
I was impressed with O’Kelly’s goals for his last days. He put a priority on getting his affairs in order, which you’d expect, but he also prioritized “unwinding” or “beautifully resolving” relationships – having one last great conversation or meal or experience with people who had meant a lot to him, not just with his immediate family. I was struck by how thoughtful that was – just to give someone a really honest compliment or remember some shared moment or tell the person how much they meant to you or encouraged you. I thought about how we so rarely think of doing that for people in life, and so many people just have no idea how much of an influence they have had on our lives or how much they have helped us or how much we appreciate them.
O’Kelly boiled his goals down to three concepts: clarity – to have clutter and distraction out of the way, intensity – to pack a lot into even the smallest moments, and perfect moments – to see the perfect moments that happen all the time but we’re usually too busy to pick up on. Those concepts really resonated with me and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’d like to see those concepts in my own life. My husband would say I already hit the intensity thing a little hard as it is, but I think it would be better to be intense if I were also feeling clear about what I was doing and being mindful of and thankful for the perfect moments that happen in my days.
Throughout the book, O’Kelly makes it clear that his faith was vitally important to how he handled his last days, and although you may not agree with some of the things he believed, I appreciated reading an honest account of how someone might struggle with a diagnosis and yet be able to press on positively because of a belief that this life is not all that there is. Certainly there is a lot to think about in terms of how a Christian should think of his time on earth or his approaching death, and the conflict between loss and anticipation.
O’Kelly’s wife finished the book after his death. I found the ending particularly poignant and effective, not depressing at all. You can tell throughout the book how deeply committed their marriage was, in spite of O’Kelly’s busy work schedule, and how important family was to them, so it was fitting for his wife to take over the last chapter.
Chasing Daylight is a moving and inspiring book, and I’d highly recommend it.
{Read more of my reviews at A Spirited Mind.}
And I couldn’t put it down.
The author of the book, Eugene O’Kelly, was CEO of KPMG (one of the top three accounting firms, it’s a big deal) enjoying a busy but full life of 90+ hour workweeks, jetting around the world, and squeezing in time for his family here and there when out of the blue he was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and given three months to live. The way he responded to that set of circumstances is truly amazing. He both used his accounting/CEO skills to set goals and pack more into his last 100 days, and also was open to changing his entire mindset to reorient his priorities and prepare himself and his family for his passing.
Along the way, O’Kelly wrote this book, hoping to give others insight into how they might be better balanced for a long life, or more prepared if their life is shortened. It certainly offers a great deal to think about. Once you start thinking about what you’d do differently if you knew you only had 100 more days left on earth, it gets you thinking about your priorities and how you actually spend your time. For example, O’Kelly realized that he had been having breakfasts and lunches all the time with people of only peripheral importance in his life, but had only made time in his workday for two lunches with his wife in the past decade. He didn’t regret the professional drive that had brought him so much satisfaction, but he realized that he could have done a better job at balancing and still been effective in business, perhaps even more effective. It was interesting to contemplate my life and relationships in that way.
I was impressed with O’Kelly’s goals for his last days. He put a priority on getting his affairs in order, which you’d expect, but he also prioritized “unwinding” or “beautifully resolving” relationships – having one last great conversation or meal or experience with people who had meant a lot to him, not just with his immediate family. I was struck by how thoughtful that was – just to give someone a really honest compliment or remember some shared moment or tell the person how much they meant to you or encouraged you. I thought about how we so rarely think of doing that for people in life, and so many people just have no idea how much of an influence they have had on our lives or how much they have helped us or how much we appreciate them.
O’Kelly boiled his goals down to three concepts: clarity – to have clutter and distraction out of the way, intensity – to pack a lot into even the smallest moments, and perfect moments – to see the perfect moments that happen all the time but we’re usually too busy to pick up on. Those concepts really resonated with me and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’d like to see those concepts in my own life. My husband would say I already hit the intensity thing a little hard as it is, but I think it would be better to be intense if I were also feeling clear about what I was doing and being mindful of and thankful for the perfect moments that happen in my days.
Throughout the book, O’Kelly makes it clear that his faith was vitally important to how he handled his last days, and although you may not agree with some of the things he believed, I appreciated reading an honest account of how someone might struggle with a diagnosis and yet be able to press on positively because of a belief that this life is not all that there is. Certainly there is a lot to think about in terms of how a Christian should think of his time on earth or his approaching death, and the conflict between loss and anticipation.
O’Kelly’s wife finished the book after his death. I found the ending particularly poignant and effective, not depressing at all. You can tell throughout the book how deeply committed their marriage was, in spite of O’Kelly’s busy work schedule, and how important family was to them, so it was fitting for his wife to take over the last chapter.
Chasing Daylight is a moving and inspiring book, and I’d highly recommend it.
{Read more of my reviews at A Spirited Mind.}
March 3, 2019
While I tried very hard to enjoy Eugene's story (don't get me wrong I had empathy for the man), his endless mentioning of how he was a CEO and used to be at the top of his game made the book tough to read.
I think the review by Travel Writing on 12/17/16 sums up my thoughts perfectly.
Below is an excerpt of Travel Writing's review:
As much as I desperately wanted to like this story, it just read like a CEO. He was a CEO. In case you missed that- he was a CEO. Did he mention he was a CEO, because he is a CEO. Just do not ever forget he is a CEO- writing a book to underlings on how to die.
It never veered in maudlin or emotional, because there was no emotions. Merely reminders Mr. O'Kelly would die the way he lived: a CEO. You got that right? He is a CEO.
There were statements, lists, litany's, bullet points, how-to's, epiphanies (that really weren't for most people) and lectures. He pontificated about things he just figured out like he founded the concepts. It was uncanny how he could talk about such deep, profound ideas and they come off utterly devoid of connection.
It read very programmatically and towards the end it became practically insufferable: it was if all of these epiphanies about life just dawned on him and now he needs to wag his finger in expertise about things he just figured out five minutes ago. The entire chapter on "The Perfect Moment: is a good example. The lecture about god to Corwin was particularly grating. Yes, you are dying. This is your death, but it does not follow that your experience and belief systems now must become the company policy, but he is a CEO.
Approaching death with a 'personal success' plan and perfection in mind made this story sterile at best.
"...a journey of the soul...that allied me to experience what was there all along but had been hidden, thanks to the distractions of the world." p.13
"It's a blessing. It's a curse. It's what you get for saying hello to people. At some point, a good-bye is coming too. Not just to all the people you love and who love you back, but to all the world as well." p.18
"A week before, I was living my life. Now, I was contemplating my death." p.40
"The business of dying is hard. The wrapping up. The paperwork, the legal work. The stuff that's boring and maddening about life when life is going well." p. 67
"Corrine and I entertained a long-time client and his wife whom we'd come to consider as friends." p.30
"...(we) sat in the waiting room of our second world-class neurosurgeon of the day..."p.37
"Corrine packed away all my shirts with French cuffs. They were way too difficult." p. 56
On meditation/presence being challenging: "But that was ok. I was used to hard work. I relished it." p.94
I think the review by Travel Writing on 12/17/16 sums up my thoughts perfectly.
Below is an excerpt of Travel Writing's review:
As much as I desperately wanted to like this story, it just read like a CEO. He was a CEO. In case you missed that- he was a CEO. Did he mention he was a CEO, because he is a CEO. Just do not ever forget he is a CEO- writing a book to underlings on how to die.
It never veered in maudlin or emotional, because there was no emotions. Merely reminders Mr. O'Kelly would die the way he lived: a CEO. You got that right? He is a CEO.
There were statements, lists, litany's, bullet points, how-to's, epiphanies (that really weren't for most people) and lectures. He pontificated about things he just figured out like he founded the concepts. It was uncanny how he could talk about such deep, profound ideas and they come off utterly devoid of connection.
It read very programmatically and towards the end it became practically insufferable: it was if all of these epiphanies about life just dawned on him and now he needs to wag his finger in expertise about things he just figured out five minutes ago. The entire chapter on "The Perfect Moment: is a good example. The lecture about god to Corwin was particularly grating. Yes, you are dying. This is your death, but it does not follow that your experience and belief systems now must become the company policy, but he is a CEO.
Approaching death with a 'personal success' plan and perfection in mind made this story sterile at best.
"...a journey of the soul...that allied me to experience what was there all along but had been hidden, thanks to the distractions of the world." p.13
"It's a blessing. It's a curse. It's what you get for saying hello to people. At some point, a good-bye is coming too. Not just to all the people you love and who love you back, but to all the world as well." p.18
"A week before, I was living my life. Now, I was contemplating my death." p.40
"The business of dying is hard. The wrapping up. The paperwork, the legal work. The stuff that's boring and maddening about life when life is going well." p. 67
"Corrine and I entertained a long-time client and his wife whom we'd come to consider as friends." p.30
"...(we) sat in the waiting room of our second world-class neurosurgeon of the day..."p.37
"Corrine packed away all my shirts with French cuffs. They were way too difficult." p. 56
On meditation/presence being challenging: "But that was ok. I was used to hard work. I relished it." p.94
October 6, 2014
This book was written by Eugene O'Kelly when he was 53 year old in 2005 after getting diagnosed with an advanced-stage cancer. At that time he was the chairman and CEO of KPMG (one of the Big 4 Accounting and Audit Firm) and was working almost 18 hours a day. The diagnosis was a bolt from blue as he had never seen it coming and hence was completely ambushed. He wrote this book during his final 100 days when he could see “life” slipping every day from his life.
He makes up his mind and gets determined to make these final days his best on Earth. He focuses hard on what matters — family and friends and saying goodbye. He doesn't allow himself to bog down in the frustrations, fears and tears and in the process leaves us with a great book making us see “death” in a new light.
What he does in this process is monumental and not something which can be followed by all of us but we can definitely try which is what he wanted to tell us. Death comes in peace when we “close” all pending work/relationships which exist in our life and that is what he started doing during those final days. He wanted to unwind, or close, personal relationships with colleagues, lifetime friends and family members. He diligently writes down a list of people to contact and plan a final encounter to close it well. He stops at each name and tries to recall all the moments they had enjoyed together, how they met and the lessons he learned from them — ways in which having met that person had made him a better person. There were nearly 1,000 people on his list so just imagine the task he had on his hand.
Live in the moment is O'Kelly's mantra and that is what is the biggest take away from this book for me. That concept is not novel, but it is honest. "Life had to be enjoyed as explicitly and as often as possible, right now," he writes. "I felt that if I could learn to stay in the present moment, to be fully conscious of my surroundings, I would buy myself lots of time." I could relate to this line and completely get what he wanted to convey so would definitely try hard to follow/practise this difficult path which is honestly the right path to happiness in life.
He makes up his mind and gets determined to make these final days his best on Earth. He focuses hard on what matters — family and friends and saying goodbye. He doesn't allow himself to bog down in the frustrations, fears and tears and in the process leaves us with a great book making us see “death” in a new light.
What he does in this process is monumental and not something which can be followed by all of us but we can definitely try which is what he wanted to tell us. Death comes in peace when we “close” all pending work/relationships which exist in our life and that is what he started doing during those final days. He wanted to unwind, or close, personal relationships with colleagues, lifetime friends and family members. He diligently writes down a list of people to contact and plan a final encounter to close it well. He stops at each name and tries to recall all the moments they had enjoyed together, how they met and the lessons he learned from them — ways in which having met that person had made him a better person. There were nearly 1,000 people on his list so just imagine the task he had on his hand.
Live in the moment is O'Kelly's mantra and that is what is the biggest take away from this book for me. That concept is not novel, but it is honest. "Life had to be enjoyed as explicitly and as often as possible, right now," he writes. "I felt that if I could learn to stay in the present moment, to be fully conscious of my surroundings, I would buy myself lots of time." I could relate to this line and completely get what he wanted to convey so would definitely try hard to follow/practise this difficult path which is honestly the right path to happiness in life.
November 15, 2012
I was working on KPMG and heard that Eugene died. Even though i worked there i never knew the guy existed. He was way beyond anything i could ever imagine myself being. The company was gracious enough to offer a book to anyone who wanted one. I jumped on the opportunity to learn what this was about. I was really impressed and i cried several times in the book. It was touching and amazing to think about what he had gone through. I learned a lesson that is very difficult to accept and changed my paradigm on life forever. I too want to know when i am going to die. Thank you so much Eugene and everyone who put together this book to share it with me. THe following are my treasured memories from the book.
Eugene O’Kelly most impressive qoutations
1. Separate your passions from your talent, then choose your talent.
2. You measure people by their competency, but why? Measure love, commitment (not measured by time but by energy)
3. You are what you remember – history
4. Things don’t always go as planned – accept this- live with acceptance. It is what it is.
5. Be part at, immersed in, a culture that you enjoy
6. Become an extraordinary professional
7. Seek out, find, and enjoy “perfect moments” by being open to them.
8. Trying to improve on a perfect moment never works.
9. Stop speeding, slow down and ask intuitively “why am I doing what I am doing?”
Eugene O’Kelly most impressive qoutations
1. Separate your passions from your talent, then choose your talent.
2. You measure people by their competency, but why? Measure love, commitment (not measured by time but by energy)
3. You are what you remember – history
4. Things don’t always go as planned – accept this- live with acceptance. It is what it is.
5. Be part at, immersed in, a culture that you enjoy
6. Become an extraordinary professional
7. Seek out, find, and enjoy “perfect moments” by being open to them.
8. Trying to improve on a perfect moment never works.
9. Stop speeding, slow down and ask intuitively “why am I doing what I am doing?”
March 5, 2024
The real test of a book for me is whether I remember it after I have closed its pages for the last time. A year after doing just that, I find this book is in my head. Yes, as some of the other reviewers have remarked, the book is a bit depressing. But the big picture outweighs the occasional feelings of sadness I felt in reading it. Overall, I feel this is a story of hope and of compassion. The author discusses how he, as a wealthy man of means, sat next to people of much lesser means during his treatments. It made my heart ache for people who hurt. It made me want to help. A book that spurs you from the couch to action is a successful book.
August 11, 2020
This book really appealed to me - especially the author’s very organized methodology of managing the end of his life. So many lessons to learn. I found great respect for his courage to turn away from the anger and frustration of an unexpected cancer and short few months to live. His optimism and hard work to handling the end with grace and compassion for others are commendable.
April 22, 2009
This was a really great book that really gives you some perspective on life. Granted it was a little sad, but well worth the read. I would definitely give it a try, it was very enlightening.
December 23, 2022
The subgenre of "memoirs written while dying" is a hard category to judge harshly, as we are primed to view the authors with some degree of sympathy. Chasing Daylight lands near the bottom of my personal ranking of dying memoirs, though. While poignant and a sad story, O'Kelly's text reads as both smug and unrealistic at times, like it was heavily edited/rewritten by his wife or someone else after he passed. O'Kelly was in his 50s when he passed, and clearly very wealthy -- he was at the pinnacle of his professional career, had access to excellent medical care, a personal assistant to take care of minutiae, luxury vacations, and a large circle of influential connections. It's a stark contrast to many dying memoirs where the authors have put decades of hard work into their careers yet won't ever reach the pinnacle or the reward phase (When Breath Becomes Air), are leaving young children behind with much less rosy financial circumstances (The Bright Hour, The Unwinding of the Miracle, the Last Lecture), and struggle to find support as they are undergoing grueling treatment (The Undying - though the author of this text hasn't died).
February 22, 2021
Everyone should read this book and put Eugene's "Unwindings" into practice, like, yesterday!
It was written as a memoir (and finished by his wife), but reading between the lines, Eugene has given us exercises that we can put into practice. I don't think there's anything scarier than reaching the end of your life and not feeling closure for the life you've lived. I crave that peace so deep in my bones and feel the work I've been doing—some in part from the teachings of this book—has led me to that peace.
Bottom line: This book was a cornerstone in my ongoing pursuit to live awake for my life (not to sleepwalk through).
It was written as a memoir (and finished by his wife), but reading between the lines, Eugene has given us exercises that we can put into practice. I don't think there's anything scarier than reaching the end of your life and not feeling closure for the life you've lived. I crave that peace so deep in my bones and feel the work I've been doing—some in part from the teachings of this book—has led me to that peace.
Bottom line: This book was a cornerstone in my ongoing pursuit to live awake for my life (not to sleepwalk through).
January 9, 2024
I picked this book up again after many years, wondering if the counsel of years would give me a different insight and perspective into the key topic of this book - dealing with one’s impending death. Been feeling a bit low and was hoping that this book would shed some perspective about life and what it is all about.
Four months is a very short time to plan for one’s death, especially if one is relatively young and healthy. Eugene manage to do that, and find time to write this book. It has the usual advice of treasuring loved ones, being present in the moment, and being grateful and appreciative of life. Having read some books of a similar genre, the message was nothing remarkably new or eye-opening to me.
Then again, we could all do with such reminders from time to time.
Four months is a very short time to plan for one’s death, especially if one is relatively young and healthy. Eugene manage to do that, and find time to write this book. It has the usual advice of treasuring loved ones, being present in the moment, and being grateful and appreciative of life. Having read some books of a similar genre, the message was nothing remarkably new or eye-opening to me.
Then again, we could all do with such reminders from time to time.
April 9, 2024
I really enjoyed! Our ideologies were at odds at times but nonetheless a great read. Exploration of death philosophy by doing
August 26, 2023
Illuminating book on how to deal with death. Helpful for both patients and caregivers. Thanks for sharing your insights on both living and dying with us even during your final moments. RIP.
February 15, 2017
Eugene O’Kelly was CEO of a major American firm when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor at age 53. He immediately decided to approach death as he had life—with careful planning. This led him to leave his job and to choose a medical protocol that would allow him to make the most of the little time he had left. He died three and a half months after his diagnosis.
Rather than focusing on what might be, O’Kelly decided he would live in the moment, enjoying its beauty. He would not think about the past or the future. Instead, he would experience “perfect moments” and “perfect days,” periods of time that might previously have gone unnoticed in the busyness of daily routines but that now gave him a great deal of pleasure. Sunsets, conversations, outings.
O’Kelly also made a point of saying good-bye to his family, friends and colleagues, one by one, telling them what they had meant to him and how they had enriched his life. As the title indicates, the way O’Kelly dealt with his impending death transformed his life in surprising ways.
I enjoyed the book because it reminded me that all of our lives are “terminal” and that too often we forfeit everyday beauty and pleasure by rushing about and not paying attention to each moment. Instead, we need to determine what is important to us and tend to it.
The book is published by McGraw-Hill; with only 179 pages, it’s an easy but thought-provoking read and is also available in audio.
Rather than focusing on what might be, O’Kelly decided he would live in the moment, enjoying its beauty. He would not think about the past or the future. Instead, he would experience “perfect moments” and “perfect days,” periods of time that might previously have gone unnoticed in the busyness of daily routines but that now gave him a great deal of pleasure. Sunsets, conversations, outings.
O’Kelly also made a point of saying good-bye to his family, friends and colleagues, one by one, telling them what they had meant to him and how they had enriched his life. As the title indicates, the way O’Kelly dealt with his impending death transformed his life in surprising ways.
I enjoyed the book because it reminded me that all of our lives are “terminal” and that too often we forfeit everyday beauty and pleasure by rushing about and not paying attention to each moment. Instead, we need to determine what is important to us and tend to it.
The book is published by McGraw-Hill; with only 179 pages, it’s an easy but thought-provoking read and is also available in audio.
November 11, 2014
It was fascinating how Gene took his experience as a CEO and applied the same principles that he used on the job for creating an "awakening" type death experience. While most of us would have been crushed by the finality of it, Gene took the fact that he knew he was dying as a blessing. He points out that most deaths are either sudden or lingering while he knew he was going to die and he generally knew the time frame.
Some of his actions were a bit strange to my mind but everyone handles the transition differently. For example, he spent a great deal of time saying goodbye to everyone he knew in a process that he called "unwinding." I can't imagine the pain that that caused some of his friends, but as Gene points out, the unwindings were for him as much as them. He wanted them to know, without a doubt, that he cared about how his friends and family had touched his life. I'm sure that he gave them that and not everyone gets to do that, but it still must have been hard. I think that the peace that Gene experienced during his death was evidence that the process worked for him, despite how it may have disturbed the survivors.
This memoir reminded me that life is short and death is coming. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but some day. Isn't it funny how in the hustle and bustle of day to day life that we forget that? If you want some meditative processes (like Gene used) to deal with the idea and reality of your own death, Osho supplies some great suggestions in his book- The Art of Living and Dying: Celebrating Life and Celebrating Death.
Some of his actions were a bit strange to my mind but everyone handles the transition differently. For example, he spent a great deal of time saying goodbye to everyone he knew in a process that he called "unwinding." I can't imagine the pain that that caused some of his friends, but as Gene points out, the unwindings were for him as much as them. He wanted them to know, without a doubt, that he cared about how his friends and family had touched his life. I'm sure that he gave them that and not everyone gets to do that, but it still must have been hard. I think that the peace that Gene experienced during his death was evidence that the process worked for him, despite how it may have disturbed the survivors.
This memoir reminded me that life is short and death is coming. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but some day. Isn't it funny how in the hustle and bustle of day to day life that we forget that? If you want some meditative processes (like Gene used) to deal with the idea and reality of your own death, Osho supplies some great suggestions in his book- The Art of Living and Dying: Celebrating Life and Celebrating Death.
September 2, 2019
An very touching, inspiring, and difficult book to read. Written almost totally by Gene O'Kelly, this book is a story about his own personal "winding down" of his life after finding out he had cancer in May of 2005. He passed in September of 2005 (I believe I have the dates right). While certainly moving, the provides new insight into a person who was given the opportunity to actively bring their life to a close.
Instructive and poingant, there book is full of lessons we should be applying every day.
Instructive and poingant, there book is full of lessons we should be applying every day.
October 6, 2021
A book that teaches little at all, and serves only the author and their family.
Firstly, reviewing this book poorly does feel in bad taste given its subject and author, however I have to be honest and say that it is one of the worst I’ve ever read.
I trudged through page after page of golf references, reminders that the author was a CEO, and self-congratulatory shows of wealth in the hope that some learning or meaning would come.
Spoiler alert- it didn’t.
Had the author been an everyday Joe then I imagine the book would never have been published.
Firstly, reviewing this book poorly does feel in bad taste given its subject and author, however I have to be honest and say that it is one of the worst I’ve ever read.
I trudged through page after page of golf references, reminders that the author was a CEO, and self-congratulatory shows of wealth in the hope that some learning or meaning would come.
Spoiler alert- it didn’t.
Had the author been an everyday Joe then I imagine the book would never have been published.
March 15, 2016
Most powerful book I've ever read. This book led me to practice yoga - the practice of awakening and preparation for death. WE must be spending our lives practicing for death. This book is ultimately about love and the gift of life - with great ideas on how to live your life with purpose, meaning and intention. My deepest gratitude to the authors. This book forever changed the course of my life and I am humbled and eternally grateful for the wisdom contained in these pages!
November 16, 2019
Intriguing premise of a highly successful CEO and his response to learning he has terminal cancer then the manner he intentionally lives out his final months.
Unfortunately the narrative falls flat and the insight shared lacks profundity. The lead character basically learns the key to life is to remain present in the moment and shares his presumption that water is eternal and means to a transitional state of preparation for the next life.
Some useful moments but not worth the read.
Unfortunately the narrative falls flat and the insight shared lacks profundity. The lead character basically learns the key to life is to remain present in the moment and shares his presumption that water is eternal and means to a transitional state of preparation for the next life.
Some useful moments but not worth the read.
April 10, 2008
This is a well written and elnlightening book on a long-avoded topic: death.
O'Kelly was the CEO of a major firm when he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told he had about 100 days to live.
The book tracks his life and thoughts during the last 100 days of his life. Suffice to say that it contains more than a few deep insights into what is important in life and what is trivial.
O'Kelly was the CEO of a major firm when he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told he had about 100 days to live.
The book tracks his life and thoughts during the last 100 days of his life. Suffice to say that it contains more than a few deep insights into what is important in life and what is trivial.
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