What do you think?
Rate this book
The Laws of Human Nature
From the #1 New York Times-bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power comes the definitive new book on decoding the behavior of the people around youRobert Greene is a master guide for millions of readers, distilling ancient wisdom and philosophy into essential texts for seekers of power, understanding and mastery. Now he turns to the most important subject of all - understanding people's drives and motivations, even when they are unconscious of them themselves.We are social animals. Our very lives depend on our relationships with people. Knowing why people do what they do is the most important tool we can possess, without which our other talents can only take us so far. Drawing from the ideas and examples of Pericles, Queen Elizabeth I, Martin Luther King Jr, and many others, Greene teaches us how to detach ourselves from our own emotions and master self-control, how to develop the empathy that leads to insight, how to look behind people's masks, and how to resist conformity to develop your singular sense of purpose. Whether at work, in relationships, or in shaping the world around you, The Laws of Human Nature offers brilliant tactics for success, self-improvement, and self-defense.
624 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 23, 2018
About the author
Robert Greene
107 books16.4k followersThere is more than one author by this name on Goodreads.
Best-selling author and public speaker, Robert Greene was born in Los Angeles. He attended U.C. California at Berkeley and the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where he received a degree in classical studies. He has worked in New York as an editor and writer at several magazines, including Esquire; and in Hollywood as a story developer and writer.
Robert has lived in London, Paris, and Barcelona; he speaks several languages and has worked as a translator. In 1995 he was involved in the planning and creation of the art school Fabrica, outside Venice, Italy. There he met Joost Elffers, the New York book packager and discussed with him his idea for a book on power and manipulation, the ultimate modern version of Machiavelli's The Prince.
Robert and Joost became partners and in 1998, The 48 Laws of Power was born. The book has been a national and international bestseller, and has been translated into 17 languages. In 2001, Robert released his second book, The Art of Seduction, which is more than a sequel to The 48 Laws; it is both a handbook on how to wield the ultimate form of power, and a detailed look at the greatest seducers in history.
The third in this highly anticipated series of books, The 33 Strategies of War, hit bookstores January 2006 and offers a strategic look behind the movements of War in application to everyday life. In addition to having a strong following within the business world and a deep following in Washington, DC, these books are also being hailed by everyone from war historians to some of the heaviest hitters in the rap world (including Jay-Z and 50 Cent).
The popularity of these books along with their vast and fiercely loyal audience proves these are profound, timeless lessons from historical leaders that still ring true in today's culture. Robert currently lives in Los Angeles.
Best-selling author and public speaker, Robert Greene was born in Los Angeles. He attended U.C. California at Berkeley and the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where he received a degree in classical studies. He has worked in New York as an editor and writer at several magazines, including Esquire; and in Hollywood as a story developer and writer.
Robert has lived in London, Paris, and Barcelona; he speaks several languages and has worked as a translator. In 1995 he was involved in the planning and creation of the art school Fabrica, outside Venice, Italy. There he met Joost Elffers, the New York book packager and discussed with him his idea for a book on power and manipulation, the ultimate modern version of Machiavelli's The Prince.
Robert and Joost became partners and in 1998, The 48 Laws of Power was born. The book has been a national and international bestseller, and has been translated into 17 languages. In 2001, Robert released his second book, The Art of Seduction, which is more than a sequel to The 48 Laws; it is both a handbook on how to wield the ultimate form of power, and a detailed look at the greatest seducers in history.
The third in this highly anticipated series of books, The 33 Strategies of War, hit bookstores January 2006 and offers a strategic look behind the movements of War in application to everyday life. In addition to having a strong following within the business world and a deep following in Washington, DC, these books are also being hailed by everyone from war historians to some of the heaviest hitters in the rap world (including Jay-Z and 50 Cent).
The popularity of these books along with their vast and fiercely loyal audience proves these are profound, timeless lessons from historical leaders that still ring true in today's culture. Robert currently lives in Los Angeles.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,706 reviews
July 30, 2021
Pros: a great primer on the psychological tendencies that pull us all in certain directions, mostly to the detriment of our rational goals. Robert Greene identifies 18 such “laws,” providing historical and biographical sketches that demonstrate each law in practice. He then provides strategies for turning each law—with its inherent self-destructive tendencies—into an advantage. The author draws on a vast storehouse of examples, and his emphasis on rationality and examples from ancient Greece are well received.
Cons: Some of the chapters can drag as the author repeats the same point, and you get the feeling that the book could have been made shorter without loss of content. It’s also difficult to tell which ideas are supported by solid science/research and which are not, as this is not spelled out within the text. Some ideas are backed by solid historical and scientific evidence, such as his chapter on narcissism, but in other sections the ideas are more dubious, as, for example, when the author seems to believe that Milton Erickson recovered quicker from polio through his mental stimulation of his nerves. The author makes more of the mind-body connection, particularly in regard to the recovery from illness, than the literature supports.
In the introduction, the author notes that he will rely on the psychological research of leading academics like Daniel Kahneman, but then within the main body of the text uses the ideas of Milton Erickson and Carl Jung, both controversial psychologists of dubious authenticity. I get the feeling that Greene is using the examples that he either relates to better or fits his ideas better, rather than using more contemporary research, so you have to wonder if Greene himself is falling victim to the confirmation bias as he has to reach back to 1919 (in the case of Erickson) to find a psychologist that fits his narrative.
Overall, the book provides valuable insights and advice, but it can be difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff when every idea is presented forcefully as the truth in equally confident terms. You will gain some valuable insights from reading this book, to be sure, but it’s best to do so with a skeptical mind.
Cons: Some of the chapters can drag as the author repeats the same point, and you get the feeling that the book could have been made shorter without loss of content. It’s also difficult to tell which ideas are supported by solid science/research and which are not, as this is not spelled out within the text. Some ideas are backed by solid historical and scientific evidence, such as his chapter on narcissism, but in other sections the ideas are more dubious, as, for example, when the author seems to believe that Milton Erickson recovered quicker from polio through his mental stimulation of his nerves. The author makes more of the mind-body connection, particularly in regard to the recovery from illness, than the literature supports.
In the introduction, the author notes that he will rely on the psychological research of leading academics like Daniel Kahneman, but then within the main body of the text uses the ideas of Milton Erickson and Carl Jung, both controversial psychologists of dubious authenticity. I get the feeling that Greene is using the examples that he either relates to better or fits his ideas better, rather than using more contemporary research, so you have to wonder if Greene himself is falling victim to the confirmation bias as he has to reach back to 1919 (in the case of Erickson) to find a psychologist that fits his narrative.
Overall, the book provides valuable insights and advice, but it can be difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff when every idea is presented forcefully as the truth in equally confident terms. You will gain some valuable insights from reading this book, to be sure, but it’s best to do so with a skeptical mind.
June 21, 2023
See if you can spot the flaw with this: The law of aggression is universal. Everyone has aggression. Those who don’t admit to their own aggression are frustrated. The frustrated are angry and therefore become aggressive. Obviously, it’s tautological (the conclusion is within the premise), it’s pseudo-scientific (there is no way to refute the assertion), it sounds so wise and meaningful until one considers it says nothing of substance and there is no way to refute such nonsense unless one removes oneself from the epistemological closure inherent within the tacit paradigm. Those italicized sentences sum up one of the ‘real human laws of nature’ as presented in this book. This book as a whole reads as if it was written in 1973 at the full swing of the Jungian/Freudian psychological mumbo jumbo meaningless way of describing the world. I had thought we were out of that false paradigmatic way of wrongheaded thinking; the obvious success of this book and the high ratings most people give this book show me that I was wrong.
Archetypes are a dangerous thing. This author loves simplifying the complex and making them part of his narrative as if a universal type should be obvious and as if archetypes are real. All of his vignettes would follow the same simplistic pattern and then he would say ‘let’s interpret’ what we heard. Almost all of the stories were ‘interpreted’ (that’s his word, btw) in such a way that the person’s father was too domineering, or too lenient, or the mother was smothering or distant, or that their childhood was with too many hardships or not enough and that explains why they were the way they were as illustrated by his vignettes. That kind of thinking lead to autism being blamed on ‘refrigerator moms’ in the 60s and 70s, moms who were told to blame themselves for something they should never have been blamed for at all. He would take a complex person, say Howard Hughes, Walt Disney, Coco Channel or Mao Zedong, and summarize that person’s live to illustrate a neurosis of some kind such as envy, pride, anger, or narcissism, or an imaginary power that we don’t possess and interpret that in terms of his false narrative and make them archetypal to a greater whole, and then say that each of us have that characteristic within us but usually not to such an extreme degree as laid out in the vignette and for which we all deny and need to accept in order to solve the problem that we all have thus making the denial itself worthy of a solution too.
I mentioned autism above because I wanted to illustrate how I saw the first half of this book. The author was writing a handbook for neurologically typical people (i.e., people w/o aspergers, w/o autism), the masses of people who can be characterized as having an unhealthy preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and an obsession with conformity at least that’s how a neurologically diverse person sees the behavior of neuro-typicals. Or in other words the author was writing a handbook for conformists who always play mind games while interacting with other conformists and tries to use non-verbal cues to manipulate and mind read another person and the author was rationalizing that kind of behavior and asserting that it was the more proper way to function in the world while never realizing just because most people already behave in that typical fashion doesn’t necessarily mean it is the correct way to behave. The author had a section on ‘mirror neurons’ and alluded to ‘theory of mind’ in one of his many self help sections, and was really advocating for a person to learn mind reading, use their intuition and fake sincerity when it would serve them. For example, instead of letting people be ‘envious’, one should not necessarily tell the truth about their good fortune; the author recommend the person lie in order to avoid jealousy from others. Don’t get me started on how he wanted people to flatter those around them as if they were dealing with King Louis XVI, and he suggested one should do it in such a way that it was not alienating to the King or threatening to fellow flattering courtiers. Flattery is ‘thought without content’, and as Immanuel Kant said ‘thought without content is empty’, and I tend to agree with that, and I would have a hard time with recommending empty gestures for their own sake as this self help book explicitly advocates.
This book is not void of worth, but even when he was onto something, he would lose me with nonsense such as ‘the Jazz music captured the spirit of the 1920s and the young people who returned from the Great War were participating in the zeitgeist of the times and needed to tap into that’. The author was correctly getting at we are thrown into a world not of our own making and the culture that surrounds us contributes to who we become and that our culture, way of thinking, history we come from and the hopes we hold for the future we get from our caring determines how we experience the world. But, this author muddled his own points with Jungian spiritual archetypes leading to silliness bordering on incoherence by invoking a Jungian spirit and a collective consciousness that is as unreal as the Hundredth Monkey Effect .
The author wants us to reclaim pride back in to ourselves. Pride is a one of the seven deadly sins and I’ll note that Dante made it foundational to all the other deadly sins within purgatory. The author wants us to take credit and be arrogant when time, chance, and circumstances favor us and luck breaks our way (in contradiction to his advice on envy, btw). Pride can lead to exclusive patriotism that morphs into tribalism that excludes others from our empathic zone when we see the world principally and prideful from our own vantage point and through our own priors. Oddly, I seemed to remember that the author was warning against an over reliance on our own vantage point and warning the reader correctly that we often over-estimate our own self nature. But, whatever, if one feels pride is a good thing, one should just go ahead and indulge; it’s your epistemic bubble that you’ll be trapped in.
One last criticism on something else the author said. He thinks that meaning is apparent in this world beyond ourselves and that there is a purpose and a meaning not from ourselves but outside of ourselves. Oddly, the author had a lot of good quotes from Nietzsche scattered throughout this book, but I don’t think he understood Nietzsche on nihilism. To cut to the quick, Nietzsche would really say that our meaning must be discovered by ourselves and for us as individuals and that an outsourced meaning beyond ourselves is no meaning at all. Hence ‘the death of God’ or the death of outsourcing our meaning is the only way for us to overcome the angst of nihilism and lead a potentially meaningful life here on earth.
Oops, one more last criticism, as I reading this book I kept on thinking that at least this author was not going full on Ernst Becker ‘The Denial of Death’ on me. I should have waited until the end of the book before I thought that, because by Jiminy he did. Note that book won a Pulitzer Prize in 1973 and that’s why I said this book reminded me of 1973. This author (as well as Becker) thinks that there is a death drive and in order for us to lead a full authentic life we need to always be conscious of our own immortality. This author illustrated his point by sketching out a biographical vignette of Flannery O’Connor and then interpreting her life into his archetypal narrative ‘proving’ his law of human nature and the necessity for all of us to be aware of our own impending doom.
Double plus oops, my final-final criticism and I mean it this time: His discussion on personality and character was deceptively misleading, and his conscious and unconscious discussions just lead him into more of his tautological never-never land where he’d put his ‘human nature’ within an inaccessible spot while suggesting we all have something that needs fixing but aren’t aware of it so therefore we are in a denial of it therefore proving it needs to be fixed. The author will confound personality and character, and Ideals and Values in unhelpful ways and put them through a conscious unconscious mumbo jumbo loop and thinks he’s giving great insights while actually giving the reader misdirection. I suffered living through the 1970s already with this kind of existential psychoanalytical Jungian/Freudian mumbo jumbo world view and I really don’t feel the need to go back to those substance free days in order to explain human nature and read a useless self help book in the process.
In general, I seldom like self help books. Not only is this book at its core a self help book it also enters into the realm of pseudo-science (non-falsifiable hypothesis) for explaining the world, advocates relying on one’s feelings, intuition and one’s ability for ‘theory of mind’ or what I prefer to say ‘mind reading’ instead of one’s reason or logic; the book thinks faking one’s sincerity is required for success (‘sincerity is the easiest thing in the world to fake’ – Oscar Wilde); deals with Jungian Archetypes as if they were real things and always saw the world in terms of false dichotomies interpreted within a blame the childhood for ones current set of imaginary problems. I could go on, but why bother. This book would have won accolades if he wrote it in 1973, but he didn’t. For those who learned things from this book, more power to you. Get your meaning and purpose any way you can.
Archetypes are a dangerous thing. This author loves simplifying the complex and making them part of his narrative as if a universal type should be obvious and as if archetypes are real. All of his vignettes would follow the same simplistic pattern and then he would say ‘let’s interpret’ what we heard. Almost all of the stories were ‘interpreted’ (that’s his word, btw) in such a way that the person’s father was too domineering, or too lenient, or the mother was smothering or distant, or that their childhood was with too many hardships or not enough and that explains why they were the way they were as illustrated by his vignettes. That kind of thinking lead to autism being blamed on ‘refrigerator moms’ in the 60s and 70s, moms who were told to blame themselves for something they should never have been blamed for at all. He would take a complex person, say Howard Hughes, Walt Disney, Coco Channel or Mao Zedong, and summarize that person’s live to illustrate a neurosis of some kind such as envy, pride, anger, or narcissism, or an imaginary power that we don’t possess and interpret that in terms of his false narrative and make them archetypal to a greater whole, and then say that each of us have that characteristic within us but usually not to such an extreme degree as laid out in the vignette and for which we all deny and need to accept in order to solve the problem that we all have thus making the denial itself worthy of a solution too.
I mentioned autism above because I wanted to illustrate how I saw the first half of this book. The author was writing a handbook for neurologically typical people (i.e., people w/o aspergers, w/o autism), the masses of people who can be characterized as having an unhealthy preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and an obsession with conformity at least that’s how a neurologically diverse person sees the behavior of neuro-typicals. Or in other words the author was writing a handbook for conformists who always play mind games while interacting with other conformists and tries to use non-verbal cues to manipulate and mind read another person and the author was rationalizing that kind of behavior and asserting that it was the more proper way to function in the world while never realizing just because most people already behave in that typical fashion doesn’t necessarily mean it is the correct way to behave. The author had a section on ‘mirror neurons’ and alluded to ‘theory of mind’ in one of his many self help sections, and was really advocating for a person to learn mind reading, use their intuition and fake sincerity when it would serve them. For example, instead of letting people be ‘envious’, one should not necessarily tell the truth about their good fortune; the author recommend the person lie in order to avoid jealousy from others. Don’t get me started on how he wanted people to flatter those around them as if they were dealing with King Louis XVI, and he suggested one should do it in such a way that it was not alienating to the King or threatening to fellow flattering courtiers. Flattery is ‘thought without content’, and as Immanuel Kant said ‘thought without content is empty’, and I tend to agree with that, and I would have a hard time with recommending empty gestures for their own sake as this self help book explicitly advocates.
This book is not void of worth, but even when he was onto something, he would lose me with nonsense such as ‘the Jazz music captured the spirit of the 1920s and the young people who returned from the Great War were participating in the zeitgeist of the times and needed to tap into that’. The author was correctly getting at we are thrown into a world not of our own making and the culture that surrounds us contributes to who we become and that our culture, way of thinking, history we come from and the hopes we hold for the future we get from our caring determines how we experience the world. But, this author muddled his own points with Jungian spiritual archetypes leading to silliness bordering on incoherence by invoking a Jungian spirit and a collective consciousness that is as unreal as the Hundredth Monkey Effect .
The author wants us to reclaim pride back in to ourselves. Pride is a one of the seven deadly sins and I’ll note that Dante made it foundational to all the other deadly sins within purgatory. The author wants us to take credit and be arrogant when time, chance, and circumstances favor us and luck breaks our way (in contradiction to his advice on envy, btw). Pride can lead to exclusive patriotism that morphs into tribalism that excludes others from our empathic zone when we see the world principally and prideful from our own vantage point and through our own priors. Oddly, I seemed to remember that the author was warning against an over reliance on our own vantage point and warning the reader correctly that we often over-estimate our own self nature. But, whatever, if one feels pride is a good thing, one should just go ahead and indulge; it’s your epistemic bubble that you’ll be trapped in.
One last criticism on something else the author said. He thinks that meaning is apparent in this world beyond ourselves and that there is a purpose and a meaning not from ourselves but outside of ourselves. Oddly, the author had a lot of good quotes from Nietzsche scattered throughout this book, but I don’t think he understood Nietzsche on nihilism. To cut to the quick, Nietzsche would really say that our meaning must be discovered by ourselves and for us as individuals and that an outsourced meaning beyond ourselves is no meaning at all. Hence ‘the death of God’ or the death of outsourcing our meaning is the only way for us to overcome the angst of nihilism and lead a potentially meaningful life here on earth.
Oops, one more last criticism, as I reading this book I kept on thinking that at least this author was not going full on Ernst Becker ‘The Denial of Death’ on me. I should have waited until the end of the book before I thought that, because by Jiminy he did. Note that book won a Pulitzer Prize in 1973 and that’s why I said this book reminded me of 1973. This author (as well as Becker) thinks that there is a death drive and in order for us to lead a full authentic life we need to always be conscious of our own immortality. This author illustrated his point by sketching out a biographical vignette of Flannery O’Connor and then interpreting her life into his archetypal narrative ‘proving’ his law of human nature and the necessity for all of us to be aware of our own impending doom.
Double plus oops, my final-final criticism and I mean it this time: His discussion on personality and character was deceptively misleading, and his conscious and unconscious discussions just lead him into more of his tautological never-never land where he’d put his ‘human nature’ within an inaccessible spot while suggesting we all have something that needs fixing but aren’t aware of it so therefore we are in a denial of it therefore proving it needs to be fixed. The author will confound personality and character, and Ideals and Values in unhelpful ways and put them through a conscious unconscious mumbo jumbo loop and thinks he’s giving great insights while actually giving the reader misdirection. I suffered living through the 1970s already with this kind of existential psychoanalytical Jungian/Freudian mumbo jumbo world view and I really don’t feel the need to go back to those substance free days in order to explain human nature and read a useless self help book in the process.
In general, I seldom like self help books. Not only is this book at its core a self help book it also enters into the realm of pseudo-science (non-falsifiable hypothesis) for explaining the world, advocates relying on one’s feelings, intuition and one’s ability for ‘theory of mind’ or what I prefer to say ‘mind reading’ instead of one’s reason or logic; the book thinks faking one’s sincerity is required for success (‘sincerity is the easiest thing in the world to fake’ – Oscar Wilde); deals with Jungian Archetypes as if they were real things and always saw the world in terms of false dichotomies interpreted within a blame the childhood for ones current set of imaginary problems. I could go on, but why bother. This book would have won accolades if he wrote it in 1973, but he didn’t. For those who learned things from this book, more power to you. Get your meaning and purpose any way you can.
October 28, 2022
هذا كتاب قيّم. تحتفظ به قريبا منك طوال حياتك و لا تقرأه كله إلا أول مرة ثم تلجأ إليه بعد ذلك في مواقف حياتية مختلفة تستمد منه الخبرة و المعرفة في التعامل مع المجتمع من حولك.
إذا كنت ذا خبرة في التعامل مع الناس و المجتمعات المختلفة فستجد الكثير مما في هذا الكتاب معروف لديك و بديهي جدا و لا تحتاج حتى لتصفحه و لكنك لن تعدم أن تجد ما تحتاج إليه و ما لم تمر به من قبل.
و إن كنت قد بلغت من الكبر عتيا و فاقت خبراتك كل حد و لا حاجة بك لتعلم خبرات جديدة فسوف تسليك الحكايات الكثيرة المنثورة في هذا الكتاب و ستجتر ذكرياتك في التعامل مع مواقف مشابهة لما ورد به و يدخلك في حالة من النوستالجيا الجميلة.
هذا يعني أن الكتاب مرشح للقراءة أيا كان عمرك و مكانك و خبراتك ما دمت تتعامل مع بشر في محيط حياتك العملية و لا أظن أن هناك استثناء لذلك.
الكتاب مع ذلك ليس ثقيلا جدا و لا مستعصيا على الفهم لأن المؤلف بذل جهدا واسعا في تبسيط المعلومة و سردها بأسلوب أدبي جميل مستعينا بالحكاية التي يقصها من التاريخ البعيد أو القريب ثم يفسرها من وجهتي نظر علم النفس و علم الاجتماع ثم يضع استنتاجات على السلوكيات الموجودة في الحكاية منتهيا إلى مفاتيح الطبيعة البشرية و نماذج الشخصيات المماثلة لها و كيفية التعامل معهم و قبل كل شيء كيفية التعامل مع نفسك.
الكتاب على أهميته و جودة ترجمته و سهولة قراءته نوعا ما يحتاج إلى القراءة المتأنية التي تشبه المذاكرة حتى تصل المعلومة إلى مستقرها و تظل في الذاكرة أطول فترة ممكنة أو على الأقل نحتفظ بالمواقف و العناوين في رأسنا حتى نلجأ إليها عند الحاجة. و لكل منا أسلوبه في ذلك.
December 15, 2020
لكي تعيش وسط الذئاب يجب ان تكون ذئبا. لكن كن ذئبا ابيض من اجلك من اجلنا من اجل خير الكوكب ومن اجل اخرتك . كن قويا فالله يحب العبد القوي في الخير الذكي في الخير الماكر في الخير الفطن في الخير . انها مجرد لعبة العبها جيدا ولا تنسى تنتظرك لعبة اخرى في الاخرة. استغل وقتك جيدا سينتهي قريبا
https://youtu.be/23w_mWdWHs4
في الحياة هناك خياران لا ثالث لهما اما لاعب شطرنج لاعب ورق اما طيب تعطف على البشر. وقبل ان تختار يجب ان تعرف ان البشر بالفطرة ناكرون للخير يعني ستعطف عليهم وهم انفسهم من سيقومون بصلبك وسيجعلونك اضحوكة العالم حتى لو احبوك. لكن اذا لعبت معهم الورق سيحترمونك ويعجبون بك ويصفقون لك مهما كرهوك
اذا وقعت البشر سيضحكون عليك ويهجمون اذا كنت لاعب جيد ستضحك معهم وتقوم هذا يجعلهم يفقدون اسلحتهم. اذا اخذت الامور بجدية سيضاعفون الهجوم لان هجومهم ناجح ولن يفوتوا الفرصة. والعجلة تدور اليوم تقع انت غدا سيحين دورهم واحد واحد والذكي هو الذي يعرف كيف يضحك وكيف يلعب عندما يقع. الحياة تحتاج الكثير من المرونة للعب الاشجار اليابسة التي تبقا واقفة طويلة عند هبوب العاصفة تكسر بينما الاشجار المرنة التي تتحرك مع تحرك الرياح تبقى
صديق اليوم قد يكون عدو الغد وعدو اليوم قد يكون صديق الغد. الرقعة تتغير باستمرار والقطع تغير حركتها. لذا احب هونا وثق هونا واكره هونا
البشر سيئون هذه حقيقة متفق عليها لكن اعتزالهم اخطر من مخالطتهم الاعتزال يفقدك قواعد اللعبة والمعلومات اللازمة لكي تلعب. التمثيل هو الحل وتنويع الاقنعة هو الحل تخرج لهم وتمشي وسطهم بقناعك وترتدي لهم القناع المناسب في الوقت المناسب وفي الموقف المناسب
بعض البشر يشنون حربا نفسيا للتحطيم ثم الصعود لانهم لم يستطيعوا الصعود باهدافهم. هي ليست طريقة مقبولة اجتماعيا لكنها طريقة تستخدم للصعود. لذا انتبه للانتقادات التي توجه لك تحت غطاء النصيحة او الهجومات التي توجه لك تحت غطاء المزاح
افضل شيء قد تعلمه لطفلك كيف يلعب كيف يحرك قطعة الشطرنج الخاصة به كيف يحرك الرقعة وكيف يمثل وينوع شخصياته هي في النهاية مجرد لعبة مجرد مسرحية. العب مع طفلك وعلمه كيف يلعب. اللعب افضل ما تقدمه لطفلك
لا تشتكي ابدا من البشر. البشر هم البشر انظر انت الى نفسك ماذا فعلت ما هي الحركة التي قمت بها او ما هي الحركة التي كان يجب عليك ان تفعلها ولم تقم بها جعلتهم يتحركون بطريقة معينة
الطيبة تؤدي الى الخجل الخجل يؤدي الى ضعف الشخصية ضعف الشخصية يؤدي الى الامراض الجسدية والنفسية والشيخوخة المبكرة والى الانقراض. الانانية تؤدي الى حب النفس حب النفس يؤدي الى زيادة الثقة بالنفس زيادة الثقة بالنفس يؤدي الى الكاريزما الكاريزما تؤدي الى كسب الاحترام وتحقيق ما تريده والى السعادة والى طول العمر
انعدام الشر بداخلك يؤدي الى عدم فهم لغة الافاعي عدم فهم لغة الافاعي تؤدي الى السذاجة السذاجة تؤدي الى ان تكون سهل الهضم والاكل. وجود الشر بداخلك يؤدي الى فهم لغة الافاعي فهم لغة الافاعي يؤدي الى الذكاء الذكاء يؤدي الى اللعب والى ان تحرك الرقعة
اللطف يؤدي الى التعاطف مع البشر التعاطف يؤدي الى مد يدك مد يدك يؤدي الى قطعها قطعها يؤدي الى عدم القدرة على الدفع عدم القدرة على الدفع يؤدي الى ان يداس عليك ان يداس عليك يؤدي الى الانكماش على نفسك وجذب الضربات الضربات تؤدي الى التنازلات التنازلات تؤدي الى ضمور نفسك ثم الاختفاء. القسوة تؤدي الى التدافع التدافع يؤدي الى التفاوض التفاوض يؤدي الى حصولك على حقوقك حصولك على حقوقك يؤدي الى تطوير نفسك وتطوير قدراتك الى صنع نسخة اجمل واجمل من نفسك
قواعد اللعبة شكل جميل لسان حلو عدم قول الحقيقة مخاطبة العواطف لا العقول عدم الثقة والتظاهر بالثقة مراعاة للمشاعر التلون بمختلف الالوان وتغيير الاقنعة باستمرار عدم اظهار الذكاء فسيد قومه المتغابي والذكي هو الذي يخاطب الناس حسب عقولهم عدم الدخول في جدالات لا نفع منها المصلحة اولا من لديك عنده مصلحة دائما على حق. ولتحسين السمعة التظاهر بالتوبة وفعل الخير لكسب التعاطف. بالنسبة للبشر كائنات ناكرة للخير بالطبيعة تعطيهم تاخذ منهم لا تعتمد على اعترافهم لك بالجميل الشكوى جيدة اذا كنت تشتكي من مشاكلك السطحية واردت بها دفع الحسد او جذب تعاطف المتعاطفين والمساعدة فدموع التماسيح تنفع لكن الشكوى ممنوعة من نقاط ضعفك لان البشر فجاة يتحولون الى ضباع وسيستغلون ضعفك. واعرف ان كل هذا مقرف لكن للاسف هذه هي الطبيعة البشرية ستقول اعتزلهم غير ممكن اعتزالهم يفقدك كل المعلومات التي انت بحاجتها لكي تعيش والكائن المعتزل يسهل اصطياده عليك ان تختلط لكن بشرط تخرج لهم بقناعك وبابتسامتك العريضة وجوهرك ملكك لوحدك ثمين جدا لكي يطلع عليه اي احد هو ملكك لك كله بالكامل الناس يتغيرون والكراسي تتغير والعجلة تدور ولا عدو دائم ولا صديق دائم. واقترب من المتعاطفين وابتعد عن الانانيين لانه تاكد الاناني بالنسبة له الانسان وسيلة لتحقيق غاية والغاية جد ثمينة لكن الانسان بلا قيمة عكس المتعاطف يمتلك حس انساني ويحس واختر اصدقائك جيدا ابتعد عن الفاشلين والسلبيين ومن يجرونك لاسفل. وانتبه جيدا لنفسك البعض قد يرمون عليك انتقاداتهم وعقد نقصهم في شكل نصيحة لكنهم في حقيقة الامر يستخدمون معك الحرب النفسية لتحطيمك ولكي يصعدوا لانهم لم يستطيعوا الصعود بالطرق المشروعة التي تعتمد على تحديد الاهداف وتحقيقها. والطريقة التي يتعامل بها معك الاخرون ليسوا هم من يحددونها انت من تحدد هل تتم معاملتك كملك او عبد حتى الصورة ليس الاخرون من يرسمونها انت ترسم لهم الصورة التي تريد. البشر وحوش متحضرة لذا يجب الحفاظ على المسافات كالعلاقات بين الدول حدود تغلق لمنع مرور المجرمين وقطاع الطرق وحدود تفتح للسماح بمرور السلع والتبادل الاجتماعي حافظ على المسافات لكي تفترس او يتم افتراسك. البشر كائنات مبتسمة خارقة التمثيل قدرتهم على التمثيل خارقة لكن يصعب عليهم التحكم في عيونهم وحركة الجسد لذا لا تركز لا على اقوالهم او افعالهم ركز على عيونهم فالعيون بطريقة لا ارادية تظهر الحسد والخبث والصفاء والحب وجسد مستقيم دليل على القوة وجسد منحني دليل على ضربات قديمة تم تلقيها لذا استقم وارفع راسك دائما لكي لا تجذب لك ضربات اخرى. ولا تكن ابدا رد فعل لا تسمح لاحد بان يغضبك او يستفزك الغضب يفقدك عقلك ويفقدك السيطرة لكن انت قم باغضاب واستفزاز الاخرين لاخراجهم عن السيطرة وافقادهم لعقولهم وتذكر الراحة التي تشعر بها عند التعبير عن مشاعرك ستدفع ثمنها غاليا فيما بعد يجب ان تقول ما يجب ان يقال وتتصرف بالطريقة التي تخدم مصلحتك لا تقل امورا تضرك حتى لو كانت حقيقة ولا تتصرف بطريقة خاطئة بسبب مشاعرك عقلك هو من يقود انت من تقود وليس مشاعرك. احب نفسك احب نفسك احب نفسك جدا وتصالح مع نفسك وارتدي عيوبك كدراع هكذا لا احد يستطيع استخدامها ضدك. واحذر ان تبقى وحيدا فالنعجة الوحيدة يسهل افتراسها دائما اصنع لك مجموعتك الخاصة اصنع لك تحالفات اصدقاء قدم هدايا اهتم تبادل معهم المصالح لكن لا تبقى لوحدك وتذكر ان الاسد يختار معارك جيدا لا يتعارك مع الحشرات الحشرة يتم تجاهلها حتى تموت من تلقاء نفسها الا اذا كانت هناك حشرة جد مزعجة حينها يجب ان تتخلص منها لكن بطريقة غير مباشرة بذكاء ومكر بالحيلة ليس بالفضيحة. وابقي مخالبك وانيابك ظاهرة هذا ما تظنه من انه امر عنيف هذا سيجنبك استخدام العنف وسيجنبك تجرا اي كائن بشري عليك انتبه للغة جسدك.واخيرا السمعة حافظ على سمعتك ناصعة جمل الواجهة اسرارك حافز عليها واللعبة تلعب في الخفاء اما في العلن فالواجهة تجمل
To play you have to control your emotions. To play you have to tell what you have to tell and to move the way you have to move not to express your emotion like a little kid or to move the way you want
https://youtu.be/23w_mWdWHs4
في الحياة هناك خياران لا ثالث لهما اما لاعب شطرنج لاعب ورق اما طيب تعطف على البشر. وقبل ان تختار يجب ان تعرف ان البشر بالفطرة ناكرون للخير يعني ستعطف عليهم وهم انفسهم من سيقومون بصلبك وسيجعلونك اضحوكة العالم حتى لو احبوك. لكن اذا لعبت معهم الورق سيحترمونك ويعجبون بك ويصفقون لك مهما كرهوك
اذا وقعت البشر سيضحكون عليك ويهجمون اذا كنت لاعب جيد ستضحك معهم وتقوم هذا يجعلهم يفقدون اسلحتهم. اذا اخذت الامور بجدية سيضاعفون الهجوم لان هجومهم ناجح ولن يفوتوا الفرصة. والعجلة تدور اليوم تقع انت غدا سيحين دورهم واحد واحد والذكي هو الذي يعرف كيف يضحك وكيف يلعب عندما يقع. الحياة تحتاج الكثير من المرونة للعب الاشجار اليابسة التي تبقا واقفة طويلة عند هبوب العاصفة تكسر بينما الاشجار المرنة التي تتحرك مع تحرك الرياح تبقى
صديق اليوم قد يكون عدو الغد وعدو اليوم قد يكون صديق الغد. الرقعة تتغير باستمرار والقطع تغير حركتها. لذا احب هونا وثق هونا واكره هونا
البشر سيئون هذه حقيقة متفق عليها لكن اعتزالهم اخطر من مخالطتهم الاعتزال يفقدك قواعد اللعبة والمعلومات اللازمة لكي تلعب. التمثيل هو الحل وتنويع الاقنعة هو الحل تخرج لهم وتمشي وسطهم بقناعك وترتدي لهم القناع المناسب في الوقت المناسب وفي الموقف المناسب
بعض البشر يشنون حربا نفسيا للتحطيم ثم الصعود لانهم لم يستطيعوا الصعود باهدافهم. هي ليست طريقة مقبولة اجتماعيا لكنها طريقة تستخدم للصعود. لذا انتبه للانتقادات التي توجه لك تحت غطاء النصيحة او الهجومات التي توجه لك تحت غطاء المزاح
افضل شيء قد تعلمه لطفلك كيف يلعب كيف يحرك قطعة الشطرنج الخاصة به كيف يحرك الرقعة وكيف يمثل وينوع شخصياته هي في النهاية مجرد لعبة مجرد مسرحية. العب مع طفلك وعلمه كيف يلعب. اللعب افضل ما تقدمه لطفلك
لا تشتكي ابدا من البشر. البشر هم البشر انظر انت الى نفسك ماذا فعلت ما هي الحركة التي قمت بها او ما هي الحركة التي كان يجب عليك ان تفعلها ولم تقم بها جعلتهم يتحركون بطريقة معينة
الطيبة تؤدي الى الخجل الخجل يؤدي الى ضعف الشخصية ضعف الشخصية يؤدي الى الامراض الجسدية والنفسية والشيخوخة المبكرة والى الانقراض. الانانية تؤدي الى حب النفس حب النفس يؤدي الى زيادة الثقة بالنفس زيادة الثقة بالنفس يؤدي الى الكاريزما الكاريزما تؤدي الى كسب الاحترام وتحقيق ما تريده والى السعادة والى طول العمر
انعدام الشر بداخلك يؤدي الى عدم فهم لغة الافاعي عدم فهم لغة الافاعي تؤدي الى السذاجة السذاجة تؤدي الى ان تكون سهل الهضم والاكل. وجود الشر بداخلك يؤدي الى فهم لغة الافاعي فهم لغة الافاعي يؤدي الى الذكاء الذكاء يؤدي الى اللعب والى ان تحرك الرقعة
اللطف يؤدي الى التعاطف مع البشر التعاطف يؤدي الى مد يدك مد يدك يؤدي الى قطعها قطعها يؤدي الى عدم القدرة على الدفع عدم القدرة على الدفع يؤدي الى ان يداس عليك ان يداس عليك يؤدي الى الانكماش على نفسك وجذب الضربات الضربات تؤدي الى التنازلات التنازلات تؤدي الى ضمور نفسك ثم الاختفاء. القسوة تؤدي الى التدافع التدافع يؤدي الى التفاوض التفاوض يؤدي الى حصولك على حقوقك حصولك على حقوقك يؤدي الى تطوير نفسك وتطوير قدراتك الى صنع نسخة اجمل واجمل من نفسك
قواعد اللعبة شكل جميل لسان حلو عدم قول الحقيقة مخاطبة العواطف لا العقول عدم الثقة والتظاهر بالثقة مراعاة للمشاعر التلون بمختلف الالوان وتغيير الاقنعة باستمرار عدم اظهار الذكاء فسيد قومه المتغابي والذكي هو الذي يخاطب الناس حسب عقولهم عدم الدخول في جدالات لا نفع منها المصلحة اولا من لديك عنده مصلحة دائما على حق. ولتحسين السمعة التظاهر بالتوبة وفعل الخير لكسب التعاطف. بالنسبة للبشر كائنات ناكرة للخير بالطبيعة تعطيهم تاخذ منهم لا تعتمد على اعترافهم لك بالجميل الشكوى جيدة اذا كنت تشتكي من مشاكلك السطحية واردت بها دفع الحسد او جذب تعاطف المتعاطفين والمساعدة فدموع التماسيح تنفع لكن الشكوى ممنوعة من نقاط ضعفك لان البشر فجاة يتحولون الى ضباع وسيستغلون ضعفك. واعرف ان كل هذا مقرف لكن للاسف هذه هي الطبيعة البشرية ستقول اعتزلهم غير ممكن اعتزالهم يفقدك كل المعلومات التي انت بحاجتها لكي تعيش والكائن المعتزل يسهل اصطياده عليك ان تختلط لكن بشرط تخرج لهم بقناعك وبابتسامتك العريضة وجوهرك ملكك لوحدك ثمين جدا لكي يطلع عليه اي احد هو ملكك لك كله بالكامل الناس يتغيرون والكراسي تتغير والعجلة تدور ولا عدو دائم ولا صديق دائم. واقترب من المتعاطفين وابتعد عن الانانيين لانه تاكد الاناني بالنسبة له الانسان وسيلة لتحقيق غاية والغاية جد ثمينة لكن الانسان بلا قيمة عكس المتعاطف يمتلك حس انساني ويحس واختر اصدقائك جيدا ابتعد عن الفاشلين والسلبيين ومن يجرونك لاسفل. وانتبه جيدا لنفسك البعض قد يرمون عليك انتقاداتهم وعقد نقصهم في شكل نصيحة لكنهم في حقيقة الامر يستخدمون معك الحرب النفسية لتحطيمك ولكي يصعدوا لانهم لم يستطيعوا الصعود بالطرق المشروعة التي تعتمد على تحديد الاهداف وتحقيقها. والطريقة التي يتعامل بها معك الاخرون ليسوا هم من يحددونها انت من تحدد هل تتم معاملتك كملك او عبد حتى الصورة ليس الاخرون من يرسمونها انت ترسم لهم الصورة التي تريد. البشر وحوش متحضرة لذا يجب الحفاظ على المسافات كالعلاقات بين الدول حدود تغلق لمنع مرور المجرمين وقطاع الطرق وحدود تفتح للسماح بمرور السلع والتبادل الاجتماعي حافظ على المسافات لكي تفترس او يتم افتراسك. البشر كائنات مبتسمة خارقة التمثيل قدرتهم على التمثيل خارقة لكن يصعب عليهم التحكم في عيونهم وحركة الجسد لذا لا تركز لا على اقوالهم او افعالهم ركز على عيونهم فالعيون بطريقة لا ارادية تظهر الحسد والخبث والصفاء والحب وجسد مستقيم دليل على القوة وجسد منحني دليل على ضربات قديمة تم تلقيها لذا استقم وارفع راسك دائما لكي لا تجذب لك ضربات اخرى. ولا تكن ابدا رد فعل لا تسمح لاحد بان يغضبك او يستفزك الغضب يفقدك عقلك ويفقدك السيطرة لكن انت قم باغضاب واستفزاز الاخرين لاخراجهم عن السيطرة وافقادهم لعقولهم وتذكر الراحة التي تشعر بها عند التعبير عن مشاعرك ستدفع ثمنها غاليا فيما بعد يجب ان تقول ما يجب ان يقال وتتصرف بالطريقة التي تخدم مصلحتك لا تقل امورا تضرك حتى لو كانت حقيقة ولا تتصرف بطريقة خاطئة بسبب مشاعرك عقلك هو من يقود انت من تقود وليس مشاعرك. احب نفسك احب نفسك احب نفسك جدا وتصالح مع نفسك وارتدي عيوبك كدراع هكذا لا احد يستطيع استخدامها ضدك. واحذر ان تبقى وحيدا فالنعجة الوحيدة يسهل افتراسها دائما اصنع لك مجموعتك الخاصة اصنع لك تحالفات اصدقاء قدم هدايا اهتم تبادل معهم المصالح لكن لا تبقى لوحدك وتذكر ان الاسد يختار معارك جيدا لا يتعارك مع الحشرات الحشرة يتم تجاهلها حتى تموت من تلقاء نفسها الا اذا كانت هناك حشرة جد مزعجة حينها يجب ان تتخلص منها لكن بطريقة غير مباشرة بذكاء ومكر بالحيلة ليس بالفضيحة. وابقي مخالبك وانيابك ظاهرة هذا ما تظنه من انه امر عنيف هذا سيجنبك استخدام العنف وسيجنبك تجرا اي كائن بشري عليك انتبه للغة جسدك.واخيرا السمعة حافظ على سمعتك ناصعة جمل الواجهة اسرارك حافز عليها واللعبة تلعب في الخفاء اما في العلن فالواجهة تجمل
To play you have to control your emotions. To play you have to tell what you have to tell and to move the way you have to move not to express your emotion like a little kid or to move the way you want
April 4, 2019
Welcome to the Dark Side. This book is written by a man who lives in a hostile world where every day is a power struggle with other divisive beings like yourself. If you think manipulating with others to get what you want is morally wrong, you are detached from reality… and lazy (yep, the author actually says this outright).
What you’ll find in this book are Greene’s interpretations of human tendencies uncovered by psychoanalysts 70-100 years ago spiced up with captivating mini-biographies of famous people that serve as proof. Most of all however, this book aims to teach you how to take advantage of these tendencies and use them to influence others to get what you want. Here’s a quote from the author that pretty much sums up the book: “All of this works best if the feelings are not completely faked.”
I genuinely feel bad for the author who has wandered so far into the darkness that it seems that's all there is. "In the end, being good at influence is more socially beneficial than the moral stance. By having this power, we can influence people who have dangerous or anti-social ideas." Think about this paradox for a second - by wavering your moral stance, aren't you the one who has become a danger to the society? Especially if you're in a position of power.
What I despise however is that many of the manipulative techniques he talks about, he also practices in the book. Here are my main problems with it:
- none of this is scientifically backed. I admit that psychoanalysts are definitely on to something and many of the things the author brings out can be observed when looking around, but these are by no means LAWS of human nature. Tendencies, observations, theories… maybe. By calling them laws the author opts to use strong words that distort reality, a theme that's prevalent throughout the book.
- author does mention some psychotherapists, but fails to disclose that the entire book is a blend of their theories. He does that again knowingly, as otherwise the reader would understand that this is only one of the many ways to approach the subject.
- although the mini-biographies are extremely interesting (especially if you haven’t heard of them before), the interpretation part is very, very dubious and in some cases outright wrong (Steve Jobs’ case).
- by presenting the book as Greene is presenting it, he does much more harm than good. Even if many of the tendencies exist, the author makes the reader believe that just by reading this one book they can go off interpreting peoples facial micro-expressions, tone of voice, behaviour etc. This is not only bad advice, but dangerous and can wreak havoc on one's relationships.
Even more disturbing than the book itself is the undeserved 4.4 rating in Goodreads. Ironically, it is human nature that makes Greene’s excellent storytelling and authoritative style so likably persuasive.
Edit: changed 2 stars ("it was ok") to 1 star ("did not like it"), because well... I did not like it.
What you’ll find in this book are Greene’s interpretations of human tendencies uncovered by psychoanalysts 70-100 years ago spiced up with captivating mini-biographies of famous people that serve as proof. Most of all however, this book aims to teach you how to take advantage of these tendencies and use them to influence others to get what you want. Here’s a quote from the author that pretty much sums up the book: “All of this works best if the feelings are not completely faked.”
I genuinely feel bad for the author who has wandered so far into the darkness that it seems that's all there is. "In the end, being good at influence is more socially beneficial than the moral stance. By having this power, we can influence people who have dangerous or anti-social ideas." Think about this paradox for a second - by wavering your moral stance, aren't you the one who has become a danger to the society? Especially if you're in a position of power.
What I despise however is that many of the manipulative techniques he talks about, he also practices in the book. Here are my main problems with it:
- none of this is scientifically backed. I admit that psychoanalysts are definitely on to something and many of the things the author brings out can be observed when looking around, but these are by no means LAWS of human nature. Tendencies, observations, theories… maybe. By calling them laws the author opts to use strong words that distort reality, a theme that's prevalent throughout the book.
- author does mention some psychotherapists, but fails to disclose that the entire book is a blend of their theories. He does that again knowingly, as otherwise the reader would understand that this is only one of the many ways to approach the subject.
- although the mini-biographies are extremely interesting (especially if you haven’t heard of them before), the interpretation part is very, very dubious and in some cases outright wrong (Steve Jobs’ case).
- by presenting the book as Greene is presenting it, he does much more harm than good. Even if many of the tendencies exist, the author makes the reader believe that just by reading this one book they can go off interpreting peoples facial micro-expressions, tone of voice, behaviour etc. This is not only bad advice, but dangerous and can wreak havoc on one's relationships.
Even more disturbing than the book itself is the undeserved 4.4 rating in Goodreads. Ironically, it is human nature that makes Greene’s excellent storytelling and authoritative style so likably persuasive.
Edit: changed 2 stars ("it was ok") to 1 star ("did not like it"), because well... I did not like it.
December 16, 2018
Robert Greene again looks at everything from distance. He mentions a lot of names, so his story can hold to something, but in fact, his research is awful.
When he mentions Disney park in Paris, he mentions that the park wasn't a success because people in France "don't like to stay in lanes. They also expect beer and wine in theme parks, and there was a lack of such a beverage.
I recently read another book, also mentioning this park. The author saw that Paris Disneyland was set up the same way USA park was. Planned for a 3day stay, with hotels and everything visitors may need. They only forgot one thing - in Paris, there are 15 attractions. Disneylands in the USA have 3times more. They had the number of visitors right (22thousand/year if I remember right), but they have them for only one day - this was enough to ride every rollercoaster, and people had no reason to stay in hotels they build.
Of course its easier to say that people in France hate queues and love alcohol. Well written Robert.
This raises a question, what would happen if we would spend 10 minutes researching every single "fact" he serves?
The whole book would be 4/5 for me, but not I'm not sure how other stories go. If he sees them in black and white, chose color fitting his idea, and present this way? Are all those "facts" flat manipulated one-side and cursory? What would happen if we spend 10 minutes researching every single "fact" he serves? Is it different from the lowest scums of BuzzFeed journalism?
I understand why so many people love his books. He uses archaic language, mention all those names, places, and stories we heard about before. This creates the illusion of mystic knowledge and mystery hidden in every word.
TL;DR: If someone would re-write this book with the language we use in everyday life, without weird sentence constructions and without the approach of intern journalists (one side story,no real research) this book wouldn't be read by anyone.
This is honestly the worst book of almost 100 I've read this year.
When he mentions Disney park in Paris, he mentions that the park wasn't a success because people in France "don't like to stay in lanes. They also expect beer and wine in theme parks, and there was a lack of such a beverage.
I recently read another book, also mentioning this park. The author saw that Paris Disneyland was set up the same way USA park was. Planned for a 3day stay, with hotels and everything visitors may need. They only forgot one thing - in Paris, there are 15 attractions. Disneylands in the USA have 3times more. They had the number of visitors right (22thousand/year if I remember right), but they have them for only one day - this was enough to ride every rollercoaster, and people had no reason to stay in hotels they build.
Of course its easier to say that people in France hate queues and love alcohol. Well written Robert.
This raises a question, what would happen if we would spend 10 minutes researching every single "fact" he serves?
The whole book would be 4/5 for me, but not I'm not sure how other stories go. If he sees them in black and white, chose color fitting his idea, and present this way? Are all those "facts" flat manipulated one-side and cursory? What would happen if we spend 10 minutes researching every single "fact" he serves? Is it different from the lowest scums of BuzzFeed journalism?
I understand why so many people love his books. He uses archaic language, mention all those names, places, and stories we heard about before. This creates the illusion of mystic knowledge and mystery hidden in every word.
TL;DR: If someone would re-write this book with the language we use in everyday life, without weird sentence constructions and without the approach of intern journalists (one side story,no real research) this book wouldn't be read by anyone.
This is honestly the worst book of almost 100 I've read this year.
December 27, 2018
I don't think I've ever highlighted as much in a book as in this one. It gave me answers to probably 90% of questions concerning humans that I have floating around my mind.
November 23, 2018
My fav quotes (not a review):
-Page 29 |
"In his conception, the human mind has to worship something, has to have its attention directed to something it values above all else. For most people, it is their ego; for some it is their family, their clan, their god, or their nation. For Pericles it would be nous, the ancient Greek word for “mind” or “intelligence.” Nous is a force that permeates the universe, creating meaning and order. The human mind is naturally attracted to this order; this is the source of our intelligence."
-Page 40 |
"And the most common emotion of them all is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Our thoughts almost inevitably revolve around this desire; we simply recoil from entertaining ideas that are unpleasant or painful to us. We imagine we are looking for the truth, or being realistic, when in fact we are holding on to ideas that bring a release from tension and soothe our egos, make us feel superior."
-Page 49 |
"Be aware of demagogues who exploit the group effect and stimulate outbreaks of irrationality. They inevitably resort to certain devices. In a group setting, they begin by warming up the crowd, talking about ideas and values that everyone shares, creating a pleasant feeling of agreement. They rely on vague but loaded words full of emotive quality such as justice or truth or patriotism. They talk of abstract, noble goals rather than the solving of specific problems with concrete action. Demagogues in politics or the media try to stir a continual sense of panic, urgency, and outrage. They must keep the emotional levels high."
-Page 53 |
"In his stories and plays, he found it immensely therapeutic to get inside his characters and make sense of even the worst types. In this way, he could forgive anybody, even his father. His approach in these cases was to imagine that each person, no matter how twisted, has a reason for what they’ve become, a logic that makes sense to them. In their own way, they are striving for fulfillment, but irrationally. By stepping back and imagining their story from the inside, Chekhov demythologized the brutes and aggressors; he cut them down to human size. They no longer elicited hatred but rather pity. You must think more like a writer in approaching the people you deal with, even the worst sorts."
-Page 69 |
"As Abraham Lincoln said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”"
-Page 93 |
"I do not ask the wounded person how he feels. . . . I myself become the wounded person. —Walt Whitman"
-Page 97 |
"Erickson instead focused mostly on people’s physical presence as an entrée into their mental life and unconscious. Words are often used as a cover-up, a way to conceal what is really going on. Making his patients completely comfortable, he would detect signs of hidden tension and unmet desires that came through in their face, voice, and posture. As he did this, he explored in greater depth the world of nonverbal communication. His motto was “observe, observe, observe.” For this purpose he kept a notebook, writing down all of his observations. One element that particularly fascinated him was the walking styles of people, perhaps a reflection of his own difficulties in relearning how to use his legs. He would watch people walking in every part of the city. He paid attention to the heaviness of the step—there was the emphatic walk of those who were persistent and full of resolve; the light step"
-Page 101
"He had to see the tension in their necks and register it physically as tension within himself to understand why they were suddenly uncomfortable in his presence. What he discovered is that nonverbal communication cannot be experienced simply through thinking and translating thoughts into words but must be felt physically as one engages with the facial expressions or locked positions of other people. It is a different form of knowledge, one that connects with the animal part of our nature and involves our mirror neurons."
-Page 104
"Developed over so much time, before the invention of language, that is how the human face became so expressive, and gestures so elaborate. This is bred deep within us. We have a continual desire to communicate our feelings and yet at the same time the need to conceal them for proper social functioning. With these counterforces battling inside us, we cannot completely control what we communicate."
-Page 109
"Related to this is what is known as Othello’s error. In the play Othello by Shakespeare, the main character, Othello, assumes that his wife, Desdemona, is guilty of adultery based on her nervous response when questioned about some evidence. In truth Desdemona is innocent, but the aggressive, paranoid nature of Othello and his intimidating questions make her nervous, which he interprets as a sign of guilt. What happens in such cases is that we pick up certain emotional cues from the other person—nervousness, for instance—and we assume they come from a certain source. We rush to the first explanation that fits what we want to see. But the nervousness could have several explanations, could be a temporary reaction to our questioning or the overall circumstances. The error is not in the observing but in the decoding."
-Page 116
"In the course of a conversation there is an equal level of banter, with the pace quickening, indicating increasing rapport."
-Page 123
"Looking at this from the other side, as a character in Dostoyevsky’s novel The Idiot advised, “When you are lying, if you skillfully put in something not quite ordinary, something eccentric, something, you know, that never has happened, or very rarely, it makes the lie sound much more probable.”"
-Page 127
"A relaxed smile, however, and looking people in the eye in these first encounters can do wonders for lowering their natural resistance."
-Page 128
"If dirty work must be done, get others to do it. Your hands are clean. Never overtly play the Machiavellian leader—that only works well on television."
-Page 127
"Use dramatic effects. This mostly involves mastering the art of presence/absence. If you are too present, if people see you too often or can predict exactly what you will do next, they will quickly grow bored with you. You must know how to selectively absent yourself, to regulate how often and when you appear before others, making them want to see more of you, not less. Cloak yourself in some mystery, displaying some subtly contradictory qualities. People don’t need to know everything about you. Learn to withhold information. In general, make your appearances and your behavior less predictable."
-Page 187
"It is advisable to let everyone of your acquaintance—whether man or woman—feel now and then that you could very well dispense with their company. This will consolidate friendship. Nay, with most people there will be no harm in occasionally mixing a grain of disdain with your treatment of them; that will make them value your friendship all the more. . . . But if we really think very highly of a person, we should conceal it from him like a crime. This is not a very gratifying thing to do, but it is right. Why, a dog will not bear being treated too kindly, let alone a man! —Arthur Schopenhauer"
-Page 203
"In nineteenth-century India, under British colonial rule, authorities decided there were too many venomous cobras in the streets of Delhi, making life uncomfortable for the British residents and their families. To solve this they offered a reward for every dead cobra residents would bring in. Soon enterprising locals began to breed cobras in order to make a living from the bounty. The government caught on to this and canceled the program. The breeders, resentful of the rulers and angered by their actions, decided to release their cobras back on the streets, thereby tripling the population from before the government program."
-Page 232
"Instead you must work from within their self-opinion, empathizing with the injustices in their life and the difficulties they have faced. Now, with them feeling validated and mirrored, you have some latitude to make gentle corrections and even apply some reverse psychology (see the section below). Finally, the greatest obstacle you will face in developing these powers comes from a cultural prejudice against the very idea of influence: “Why can’t we all just be honest and transparent with one another, and simply ask for what we want? Why can’t we just let people be who they are and not try to change them? Being strategic is ugly and manipulative."
-Page 249
"One night, to totally disconcert his literal-minded monks, he showed up to a talk completely drunk. He never apologized or repeated it, but the lesson was simple: such rules are merely guidelines, and to demonstrate our freedom we must violate them from time to time."
-Page 264
"Jung illustrates this idea in the following way: Imagine that on a hike people come upon a brook that must be crossed to continue the journey. One person, without much thought, will simply leap across, touching a stone or two, not worried at all about possibly falling. He loves the sheer physical pleasure of the jump and doesn’t care if he fails. Another person is excited as well, but it has less to do with the physical joy than with the mental challenge the brook represents. She will quickly calculate the most effective means of crossing and will gain satisfaction from figuring this out. Another person, of a cautious nature, will take more time to think it through. He takes no pleasure in the crossing; he is irritated by the obstruction, but he wants to continue the hike and he will do his best to safely cross. A fourth will simply turn back. She will see no need for crossing and will rationalize her fears by saying the hike has been long enough."
-Page 264
"No one simply sees or hears the rushing of water over rocks. Our minds do not perceive just what is there. Each person sees and responds to the same brook differently, according to their particular attitude—adventurous, fearful, et cetera."
-Page 275
"Most of us have depressive tendencies and moments. The best way to handle them is to be aware of their necessity—they are our body’s and mind’s way of compelling us to slow down, to lower our energies and withdraw."
-Page 275
"The best way to handle recurrent depression is to channel your energies into work, especially the arts."
-Page 275
"Never try to lift up depressive people by preaching to them about the wonderfulness of life."
-Page 281
"When Chekhov had the epiphany about the ultimate freedom he could create for himself, he had what the American psychologist Abraham Maslow called a “peak experience.” These are moments in which you are lifted out of the daily grind and you sense that there is something larger and more sublime in life that you have been missing."
-Page 298
"What we glimpse in these moments is the dark side of their character, what the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung called the Shadow. The Shadow consists of all the qualities people try to deny about themselves and repress."
-Page 338
"The root of the Latin word for envy, invidia, means “to look through, to probe with the eyes like a dagger.”"
-Page 340
"And gossip is a frequent cover for envy, a convenient way to vent it by sharing malicious rumors and stories. When they talk about others behind their backs, you will see their eyes light up and their voice become animated—it gives them a joy comparable to schadenfreude."
-Page 349
"As Hesiod noted in the eighth century BC, “The potter envies the potter, the craftsman the craftsman, the writer the writer.”"
-Page 356
"But it would be wise to practice instead the opposite, what the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche called Mitfreude—“joying with.” As he wrote, “The serpent that stings us means to hurt us and rejoices as it does so; the lowest animal can imagine the pain of others. But to imagine the joy of others and to rejoice at it is the highest privilege of the highest animals.”"
-Page 359
"To do so, a film had to begin with a great concept, one that was original, easy to summarize, and dramatic. Executives could hire the most expensive writers, directors, and actors for a film, but if the underlying concept was weak, all the money in the world would be wasted. Films with a strong concept, however, would market themselves. A studio could churn these relatively inexpensive films out in volume, and even if they were only moderate hits, they would ensure a steady flow of income. This thinking went against the grain of the blockbuster mentality of the late 1970s, but who could argue with the undeniable profits Eisner had generated for Paramount? Eisner immortalized this formula in a memo that soon spread around Hollywood and became gospel."
-Page 402
"Caterina had foreseen the maneuver with the children and had calculated that the assassins were weak and indecisive—they should have killed her and her family on that first day, amid the mayhem. Now they would not dare to kill them in cold blood: the assassins knew that the Sforzas, on their way to Forlì, would take terrible revenge on them if they ever did such a deed. And if she surrendered now, she and her children would all be imprisoned, and some poison would find its way into their food. She didn’t care what they thought of her as a mother. She had to keep stalling. To emphasize her resolve, after refusing to surrender, she had the cannons of the castle fire at the Orsi palace."
-Page 410
"It is the terrible deception of love that it begins by engaging us in play not with a woman of the external world but with a doll fashioned in our brain—the only woman moreover that we have always at our disposal, the only one we shall ever possess. —Marcel Proust"
-Page 29 |
"In his conception, the human mind has to worship something, has to have its attention directed to something it values above all else. For most people, it is their ego; for some it is their family, their clan, their god, or their nation. For Pericles it would be nous, the ancient Greek word for “mind” or “intelligence.” Nous is a force that permeates the universe, creating meaning and order. The human mind is naturally attracted to this order; this is the source of our intelligence."
-Page 40 |
"And the most common emotion of them all is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Our thoughts almost inevitably revolve around this desire; we simply recoil from entertaining ideas that are unpleasant or painful to us. We imagine we are looking for the truth, or being realistic, when in fact we are holding on to ideas that bring a release from tension and soothe our egos, make us feel superior."
-Page 49 |
"Be aware of demagogues who exploit the group effect and stimulate outbreaks of irrationality. They inevitably resort to certain devices. In a group setting, they begin by warming up the crowd, talking about ideas and values that everyone shares, creating a pleasant feeling of agreement. They rely on vague but loaded words full of emotive quality such as justice or truth or patriotism. They talk of abstract, noble goals rather than the solving of specific problems with concrete action. Demagogues in politics or the media try to stir a continual sense of panic, urgency, and outrage. They must keep the emotional levels high."
-Page 53 |
"In his stories and plays, he found it immensely therapeutic to get inside his characters and make sense of even the worst types. In this way, he could forgive anybody, even his father. His approach in these cases was to imagine that each person, no matter how twisted, has a reason for what they’ve become, a logic that makes sense to them. In their own way, they are striving for fulfillment, but irrationally. By stepping back and imagining their story from the inside, Chekhov demythologized the brutes and aggressors; he cut them down to human size. They no longer elicited hatred but rather pity. You must think more like a writer in approaching the people you deal with, even the worst sorts."
-Page 69 |
"As Abraham Lincoln said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”"
-Page 93 |
"I do not ask the wounded person how he feels. . . . I myself become the wounded person. —Walt Whitman"
-Page 97 |
"Erickson instead focused mostly on people’s physical presence as an entrée into their mental life and unconscious. Words are often used as a cover-up, a way to conceal what is really going on. Making his patients completely comfortable, he would detect signs of hidden tension and unmet desires that came through in their face, voice, and posture. As he did this, he explored in greater depth the world of nonverbal communication. His motto was “observe, observe, observe.” For this purpose he kept a notebook, writing down all of his observations. One element that particularly fascinated him was the walking styles of people, perhaps a reflection of his own difficulties in relearning how to use his legs. He would watch people walking in every part of the city. He paid attention to the heaviness of the step—there was the emphatic walk of those who were persistent and full of resolve; the light step"
-Page 101
"He had to see the tension in their necks and register it physically as tension within himself to understand why they were suddenly uncomfortable in his presence. What he discovered is that nonverbal communication cannot be experienced simply through thinking and translating thoughts into words but must be felt physically as one engages with the facial expressions or locked positions of other people. It is a different form of knowledge, one that connects with the animal part of our nature and involves our mirror neurons."
-Page 104
"Developed over so much time, before the invention of language, that is how the human face became so expressive, and gestures so elaborate. This is bred deep within us. We have a continual desire to communicate our feelings and yet at the same time the need to conceal them for proper social functioning. With these counterforces battling inside us, we cannot completely control what we communicate."
-Page 109
"Related to this is what is known as Othello’s error. In the play Othello by Shakespeare, the main character, Othello, assumes that his wife, Desdemona, is guilty of adultery based on her nervous response when questioned about some evidence. In truth Desdemona is innocent, but the aggressive, paranoid nature of Othello and his intimidating questions make her nervous, which he interprets as a sign of guilt. What happens in such cases is that we pick up certain emotional cues from the other person—nervousness, for instance—and we assume they come from a certain source. We rush to the first explanation that fits what we want to see. But the nervousness could have several explanations, could be a temporary reaction to our questioning or the overall circumstances. The error is not in the observing but in the decoding."
-Page 116
"In the course of a conversation there is an equal level of banter, with the pace quickening, indicating increasing rapport."
-Page 123
"Looking at this from the other side, as a character in Dostoyevsky’s novel The Idiot advised, “When you are lying, if you skillfully put in something not quite ordinary, something eccentric, something, you know, that never has happened, or very rarely, it makes the lie sound much more probable.”"
-Page 127
"A relaxed smile, however, and looking people in the eye in these first encounters can do wonders for lowering their natural resistance."
-Page 128
"If dirty work must be done, get others to do it. Your hands are clean. Never overtly play the Machiavellian leader—that only works well on television."
-Page 127
"Use dramatic effects. This mostly involves mastering the art of presence/absence. If you are too present, if people see you too often or can predict exactly what you will do next, they will quickly grow bored with you. You must know how to selectively absent yourself, to regulate how often and when you appear before others, making them want to see more of you, not less. Cloak yourself in some mystery, displaying some subtly contradictory qualities. People don’t need to know everything about you. Learn to withhold information. In general, make your appearances and your behavior less predictable."
-Page 187
"It is advisable to let everyone of your acquaintance—whether man or woman—feel now and then that you could very well dispense with their company. This will consolidate friendship. Nay, with most people there will be no harm in occasionally mixing a grain of disdain with your treatment of them; that will make them value your friendship all the more. . . . But if we really think very highly of a person, we should conceal it from him like a crime. This is not a very gratifying thing to do, but it is right. Why, a dog will not bear being treated too kindly, let alone a man! —Arthur Schopenhauer"
-Page 203
"In nineteenth-century India, under British colonial rule, authorities decided there were too many venomous cobras in the streets of Delhi, making life uncomfortable for the British residents and their families. To solve this they offered a reward for every dead cobra residents would bring in. Soon enterprising locals began to breed cobras in order to make a living from the bounty. The government caught on to this and canceled the program. The breeders, resentful of the rulers and angered by their actions, decided to release their cobras back on the streets, thereby tripling the population from before the government program."
-Page 232
"Instead you must work from within their self-opinion, empathizing with the injustices in their life and the difficulties they have faced. Now, with them feeling validated and mirrored, you have some latitude to make gentle corrections and even apply some reverse psychology (see the section below). Finally, the greatest obstacle you will face in developing these powers comes from a cultural prejudice against the very idea of influence: “Why can’t we all just be honest and transparent with one another, and simply ask for what we want? Why can’t we just let people be who they are and not try to change them? Being strategic is ugly and manipulative."
-Page 249
"One night, to totally disconcert his literal-minded monks, he showed up to a talk completely drunk. He never apologized or repeated it, but the lesson was simple: such rules are merely guidelines, and to demonstrate our freedom we must violate them from time to time."
-Page 264
"Jung illustrates this idea in the following way: Imagine that on a hike people come upon a brook that must be crossed to continue the journey. One person, without much thought, will simply leap across, touching a stone or two, not worried at all about possibly falling. He loves the sheer physical pleasure of the jump and doesn’t care if he fails. Another person is excited as well, but it has less to do with the physical joy than with the mental challenge the brook represents. She will quickly calculate the most effective means of crossing and will gain satisfaction from figuring this out. Another person, of a cautious nature, will take more time to think it through. He takes no pleasure in the crossing; he is irritated by the obstruction, but he wants to continue the hike and he will do his best to safely cross. A fourth will simply turn back. She will see no need for crossing and will rationalize her fears by saying the hike has been long enough."
-Page 264
"No one simply sees or hears the rushing of water over rocks. Our minds do not perceive just what is there. Each person sees and responds to the same brook differently, according to their particular attitude—adventurous, fearful, et cetera."
-Page 275
"Most of us have depressive tendencies and moments. The best way to handle them is to be aware of their necessity—they are our body’s and mind’s way of compelling us to slow down, to lower our energies and withdraw."
-Page 275
"The best way to handle recurrent depression is to channel your energies into work, especially the arts."
-Page 275
"Never try to lift up depressive people by preaching to them about the wonderfulness of life."
-Page 281
"When Chekhov had the epiphany about the ultimate freedom he could create for himself, he had what the American psychologist Abraham Maslow called a “peak experience.” These are moments in which you are lifted out of the daily grind and you sense that there is something larger and more sublime in life that you have been missing."
-Page 298
"What we glimpse in these moments is the dark side of their character, what the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung called the Shadow. The Shadow consists of all the qualities people try to deny about themselves and repress."
-Page 338
"The root of the Latin word for envy, invidia, means “to look through, to probe with the eyes like a dagger.”"
-Page 340
"And gossip is a frequent cover for envy, a convenient way to vent it by sharing malicious rumors and stories. When they talk about others behind their backs, you will see their eyes light up and their voice become animated—it gives them a joy comparable to schadenfreude."
-Page 349
"As Hesiod noted in the eighth century BC, “The potter envies the potter, the craftsman the craftsman, the writer the writer.”"
-Page 356
"But it would be wise to practice instead the opposite, what the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche called Mitfreude—“joying with.” As he wrote, “The serpent that stings us means to hurt us and rejoices as it does so; the lowest animal can imagine the pain of others. But to imagine the joy of others and to rejoice at it is the highest privilege of the highest animals.”"
-Page 359
"To do so, a film had to begin with a great concept, one that was original, easy to summarize, and dramatic. Executives could hire the most expensive writers, directors, and actors for a film, but if the underlying concept was weak, all the money in the world would be wasted. Films with a strong concept, however, would market themselves. A studio could churn these relatively inexpensive films out in volume, and even if they were only moderate hits, they would ensure a steady flow of income. This thinking went against the grain of the blockbuster mentality of the late 1970s, but who could argue with the undeniable profits Eisner had generated for Paramount? Eisner immortalized this formula in a memo that soon spread around Hollywood and became gospel."
-Page 402
"Caterina had foreseen the maneuver with the children and had calculated that the assassins were weak and indecisive—they should have killed her and her family on that first day, amid the mayhem. Now they would not dare to kill them in cold blood: the assassins knew that the Sforzas, on their way to Forlì, would take terrible revenge on them if they ever did such a deed. And if she surrendered now, she and her children would all be imprisoned, and some poison would find its way into their food. She didn’t care what they thought of her as a mother. She had to keep stalling. To emphasize her resolve, after refusing to surrender, she had the cannons of the castle fire at the Orsi palace."
-Page 410
"It is the terrible deception of love that it begins by engaging us in play not with a woman of the external world but with a doll fashioned in our brain—the only woman moreover that we have always at our disposal, the only one we shall ever possess. —Marcel Proust"
May 30, 2020
Just hit repeat once you’re finished it.
And again.
And again.
This content is the stuff of life, business, love, etc.
Robert Greene will be looked back on hundreds of years from now as one of the great thinkers of our time.
And again.
And again.
This content is the stuff of life, business, love, etc.
Robert Greene will be looked back on hundreds of years from now as one of the great thinkers of our time.
November 28, 2020
The fact that Robert Greene's books are so consistently highly rated speaks volumes to me about our (United States) educational system's systematic failure to develop critical thinking and source evaluation skills in students. Rife with overgeneralizations and barely paying lip service to differences between cultures and societies, Greene's work also notably suffers from flaws rampant in many works within his chosen genre; most prominently, he either fails to understand or deliberately disregards the fact that the plural of "anecdote" is not "evidence" and that arguments from authority, far from supporting a point, are in fact logical fallacies that have no place in intellectually honest nonfiction writing.
I did not find much of value in this book, I recommend not wasting your time or money.
I did not find much of value in this book, I recommend not wasting your time or money.
October 28, 2018
So much of discovery is a search for patterns. What links to what? Which variables are related? But patterns aren’t always signs of connection or influence. They can be causal or merely coincidental. And they are seldom universal.
Which is exactly why such a high percentage of scientific discovery turns out to be incorrect, or at least not complete. There is a pattern, but it’s not THE pattern – or at least not the only pattern. And, of course, patterns tend to change over time for a nearly infinite number of reasons.
And that’s the way I felt about the “laws” articulated in this book. I just never got the impression that they were a complete or universal explanation. I could see the pattern. It wasn’t just pulled out of thin air. But it struck me as presumptuous to assume that the “law” was in any way complete or permanent. It might be complete some of the time in some instances. But is it really the final answer that being called a “law of human nature” clearly suggests.
The problem is that laws require generalizations in order to be articulated and applied. And that might work reasonably well in defining traffic laws. Human nature, however, is far more complex and variable. Saying, therefore, that “Introverts are more sensitive and easily exhausted by too much outward activity,” or that, “To the extrovert, the introvert has no fun, is stubborn, even antisocial,” strikes me as applying two-dimensional generalizations to issues and traits that are far more complex than they can accommodate. Isn’t that, after all, part of the explanation for the rancor we currently see in our politics?
I really wanted to like this book. Who doesn’t want to know the laws of nature? Particularly now. To the point that throughout the book I went back to the marketing materials to see what I was missing. And in the “About the Author” section it describes the author as a “renowned expert on power strategies.” And that makes sense to me. And if power strategies is what you’re looking for, and you can buy into the advice - “Take notice of people who praise or flatter you without their eyes lighting up,” as opposed to recognizing they may have just stepped off the red eye, then you will probably like this book very much.
My interests, on the other hand, tend more to philosophy than psychology and I do tend to believe that the Daoists make a very good point – reality (and human nature) is just too nuanced and complicated for our human brains to understand at the level we would need to lay out the laws of human nature.
But if the subject sounds interesting to you, it sounds feasible that one book and one author can lay out the laws of nature, or you just like this author, please don’t let me discourage you. (I will admit that I have not read any of the author’s other works.)
He’s obviously accomplished. And if you enjoy the history of psychology you’ll find a lot of gems here. For me, however, the author’s theories are just a little too assertive and built on dangerous generalizations to live by 24/7. But I’m not much on “power strategies,” either, so take that advice for what it is.
Which is exactly why such a high percentage of scientific discovery turns out to be incorrect, or at least not complete. There is a pattern, but it’s not THE pattern – or at least not the only pattern. And, of course, patterns tend to change over time for a nearly infinite number of reasons.
And that’s the way I felt about the “laws” articulated in this book. I just never got the impression that they were a complete or universal explanation. I could see the pattern. It wasn’t just pulled out of thin air. But it struck me as presumptuous to assume that the “law” was in any way complete or permanent. It might be complete some of the time in some instances. But is it really the final answer that being called a “law of human nature” clearly suggests.
The problem is that laws require generalizations in order to be articulated and applied. And that might work reasonably well in defining traffic laws. Human nature, however, is far more complex and variable. Saying, therefore, that “Introverts are more sensitive and easily exhausted by too much outward activity,” or that, “To the extrovert, the introvert has no fun, is stubborn, even antisocial,” strikes me as applying two-dimensional generalizations to issues and traits that are far more complex than they can accommodate. Isn’t that, after all, part of the explanation for the rancor we currently see in our politics?
I really wanted to like this book. Who doesn’t want to know the laws of nature? Particularly now. To the point that throughout the book I went back to the marketing materials to see what I was missing. And in the “About the Author” section it describes the author as a “renowned expert on power strategies.” And that makes sense to me. And if power strategies is what you’re looking for, and you can buy into the advice - “Take notice of people who praise or flatter you without their eyes lighting up,” as opposed to recognizing they may have just stepped off the red eye, then you will probably like this book very much.
My interests, on the other hand, tend more to philosophy than psychology and I do tend to believe that the Daoists make a very good point – reality (and human nature) is just too nuanced and complicated for our human brains to understand at the level we would need to lay out the laws of human nature.
But if the subject sounds interesting to you, it sounds feasible that one book and one author can lay out the laws of nature, or you just like this author, please don’t let me discourage you. (I will admit that I have not read any of the author’s other works.)
He’s obviously accomplished. And if you enjoy the history of psychology you’ll find a lot of gems here. For me, however, the author’s theories are just a little too assertive and built on dangerous generalizations to live by 24/7. But I’m not much on “power strategies,” either, so take that advice for what it is.
April 30, 2019
One of the few books I had to put down. The author simultaneously expresses that we need to hide our real self, wear masks, and essentially manipulate others while also reducing historical figures to one-dimensional jungian caricatures for critique.
I'm not sure if he is aware of the hypocritical nature of what he is saying, addresses it towards the end of the book or is just the perfect example of the duality of mind in criticizing others while justifying ones own acts.
I'm not sure if he is aware of the hypocritical nature of what he is saying, addresses it towards the end of the book or is just the perfect example of the duality of mind in criticizing others while justifying ones own acts.
May 5, 2020
Okay book on the topic. I would call them tendencies instead of strict laws especially because some are not really universal. Also there could have been more evolutionary psychology for there is nothing more fundamental to our nature plus the cognitive biases could have been added (some are mentioned like the most fundamental pain avoidance/ pleasure seeking). But all in all really enjoyable book.
January 21, 2020
*2020* Update I find myself referencing and recommending this book to people quite often. Might need to do a reread soon.
Similar in many ways to both The 48 Laws of Power and Mastery. Lots of short "common tendencies" vs any true or rock solid "laws." Still very interesting, I can see myself revisiting this one in the future.
In fact, I've decided I want to add this one to my physical collection. A good book to jump in and out of.
Here's an excellent overview of the 18 laws Greene covers in the book: Summary
"If man were never to fade away like the dews of Adashino, never to vanish like the smoke over Toribeyama, but lingered forever in the world, how things would lose their power to move us! The most precious thing in life is its uncertainty." — Yoshida Kenkō
"We can also expose ourselves to places on the planet where all our normal compass points are scrambled—a vastly different culture or certain landscapes where the human element seems particularly puny, such as the open sea, a vast expanse of snow, a particularly enormous mountain. Physically confronted with what dwarfs us, we are forced to reverse our normal perception, in which we are the center and measure of everything.
In the face of the Sublime, we feel a shiver, a foretaste of death itself, something too large for our minds to encompass. And for a moment it shakes us out of our smugness and releases us from the deathlike grip of habit and banality.
In the end, think of this philosophy in the following terms: Since the beginning of human consciousness, our awareness of death has terrified us. This terror has shaped our beliefs, our religions, our institutions, and so much of our behavior in ways we cannot see or understand. We humans have become the slaves to our fears and our evasions.
When we turn this around, becoming more aware of our mortality, we experience a taste of true freedom. We no longer feel the need to restrict what we think and do, in order to make life predictable. We can be more daring without feeling afraid of the consequences. We can cut loose from all the illusions and addictions that we employ to numb our anxiety. We can commit fully to our work, to our relationships, to all our actions. And once we experience some of this freedom, we will want to explore further and expand our possibilities as far as time will allow us."
"Let us rid death of its strangeness, come to know it. Let us have nothing on our minds as often as death. At every moment let us picture it in our imagination in all its aspects ... It is uncertain where death awaits us; let us await it everywhere. Premeditation of death is premeditation of freedom ... He who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. Knowing how to die frees us from all subjection and constraint." — Michel de Montaigne
“You like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life as best you can. But you are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you. They make you veer toward ideas that soothe your ego. They make you look for evidence that confirms what you already want to believe. They make you see what you want to see, depending on your mood, and this disconnect from reality is the source of the bad decisions and negative patterns that haunt your life. Rationality is the ability to counteract these emotional effects, to think instead of react, to open your mind to what is really happening, as opposed to what you are feeling. It does not come naturally; it is a power we must cultivate, but in doing so we realize our greatest potential.”
Similar in many ways to both The 48 Laws of Power and Mastery. Lots of short "common tendencies" vs any true or rock solid "laws." Still very interesting, I can see myself revisiting this one in the future.
In fact, I've decided I want to add this one to my physical collection. A good book to jump in and out of.
Here's an excellent overview of the 18 laws Greene covers in the book: Summary
"If man were never to fade away like the dews of Adashino, never to vanish like the smoke over Toribeyama, but lingered forever in the world, how things would lose their power to move us! The most precious thing in life is its uncertainty." — Yoshida Kenkō
"We can also expose ourselves to places on the planet where all our normal compass points are scrambled—a vastly different culture or certain landscapes where the human element seems particularly puny, such as the open sea, a vast expanse of snow, a particularly enormous mountain. Physically confronted with what dwarfs us, we are forced to reverse our normal perception, in which we are the center and measure of everything.
In the face of the Sublime, we feel a shiver, a foretaste of death itself, something too large for our minds to encompass. And for a moment it shakes us out of our smugness and releases us from the deathlike grip of habit and banality.
In the end, think of this philosophy in the following terms: Since the beginning of human consciousness, our awareness of death has terrified us. This terror has shaped our beliefs, our religions, our institutions, and so much of our behavior in ways we cannot see or understand. We humans have become the slaves to our fears and our evasions.
When we turn this around, becoming more aware of our mortality, we experience a taste of true freedom. We no longer feel the need to restrict what we think and do, in order to make life predictable. We can be more daring without feeling afraid of the consequences. We can cut loose from all the illusions and addictions that we employ to numb our anxiety. We can commit fully to our work, to our relationships, to all our actions. And once we experience some of this freedom, we will want to explore further and expand our possibilities as far as time will allow us."
"Let us rid death of its strangeness, come to know it. Let us have nothing on our minds as often as death. At every moment let us picture it in our imagination in all its aspects ... It is uncertain where death awaits us; let us await it everywhere. Premeditation of death is premeditation of freedom ... He who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. Knowing how to die frees us from all subjection and constraint." — Michel de Montaigne
“You like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life as best you can. But you are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you. They make you veer toward ideas that soothe your ego. They make you look for evidence that confirms what you already want to believe. They make you see what you want to see, depending on your mood, and this disconnect from reality is the source of the bad decisions and negative patterns that haunt your life. Rationality is the ability to counteract these emotional effects, to think instead of react, to open your mind to what is really happening, as opposed to what you are feeling. It does not come naturally; it is a power we must cultivate, but in doing so we realize our greatest potential.”
December 25, 2018
Robert Greene is a great collector of information and a great writer. His snippets of history are interesting and his lessons are also good ones and when you first read it, it feels very insightful. But with just a little reflection, the connection sort of falls apart. The lessons don't really match the stories--and the lessons aren't all that new. I read it not in one sitting--just here and there when I was in the mood and that was not a bad way to read. Just interesting reminders to pay attention to what drives other people.
December 7, 2023
كتاب فشيخ، والترجمة رائعة.
October 29, 2018
must read if you have to interact with... anyone
February 18, 2022
ما انسانها به دیگران فکر نمیکنیم و وقتی به آنها فکر میکنیم، به این میاندیشیم که آنها در مورد ما چه فکر میکنند!
رابرت گرین در این کتاب قوانین حاکم بر ذات انسان را بررسی کرده است. ویژگیها و خصوصیات انسان را در قالب حکایتها و داستانهای افراد مشهور مانند ملکه الیزابت، آنتوان چخوف، شنل، راکفلر، لویی شانزدهم و ... شرح داده است.
برای من داستان راکفلر از همه جذاب تر بود. این که چطور او تبدیل به ثروتمندترین فرد جهان و اولین میلیاردر دنیا تبدیل شد. داستان تسلط او به بازار نفت و راه آهن و نحوه له کردن مخالفاناش واقعا جذاب بود.
حجم کتاب خیییلییی زیاد است و اگر به این امید کتاب را میخوانید که صرفاً نکتهها و ذات انسان را بشناسید احتمالا ناامید خواهید شد. کتاب را با این هدف بخوانید که از سرگذشت و داستان افراد مشهور آگاه شوید و از تاریخ لذت ببرید.
رابرت گرین در این کتاب قوانین حاکم بر ذات انسان را بررسی کرده است. ویژگیها و خصوصیات انسان را در قالب حکایتها و داستانهای افراد مشهور مانند ملکه الیزابت، آنتوان چخوف، شنل، راکفلر، لویی شانزدهم و ... شرح داده است.
برای من داستان راکفلر از همه جذاب تر بود. این که چطور او تبدیل به ثروتمندترین فرد جهان و اولین میلیاردر دنیا تبدیل شد. داستان تسلط او به بازار نفت و راه آهن و نحوه له کردن مخالفاناش واقعا جذاب بود.
حجم کتاب خیییلییی زیاد است و اگر به این امید کتاب را میخوانید که صرفاً نکتهها و ذات انسان را بشناسید احتمالا ناامید خواهید شد. کتاب را با این هدف بخوانید که از سرگذشت و داستان افراد مشهور آگاه شوید و از تاریخ لذت ببرید.
January 10, 2021
Published in 2018 by a pretty famous contemporary author who has a lot of backstory. He attended U.C. California at Berkeley and the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where he received a degree in classical studies. He has worked in New York as an editor and writer at several magazines and in Hollywood as a story developer and writer. He also speaks several languages and has worked as a translator.
Awesome book with great lessons and messages, deserving of the praise and acclaims it received.
Ultimately, it is a book that supports rationality and elaborates in detail how and why it can be practiced. Whether it's by becoming more observant versus being reactive, or by encouraging us to understand ourselves openly instead of running away and hide using repression.
Unless we are willing to be open with ourselves and understand our truths, we will not be capable of forming truly genuine and meaningful connections based on empathy either. Everything begins from the truth and from honesty's marriage with objectivity. These are not easy feats, but they are worth pursuing and attempting. Relying on intellect instead of emotions which are both often fluctuating, contradicting and everchanging will guarantee genuine happiness down the road.
I enjoyed the content of this book quite a lot and plan to add a physical copy to my personal collection as well as sample other of his works.
Awesome book with great lessons and messages, deserving of the praise and acclaims it received.
Ultimately, it is a book that supports rationality and elaborates in detail how and why it can be practiced. Whether it's by becoming more observant versus being reactive, or by encouraging us to understand ourselves openly instead of running away and hide using repression.
Unless we are willing to be open with ourselves and understand our truths, we will not be capable of forming truly genuine and meaningful connections based on empathy either. Everything begins from the truth and from honesty's marriage with objectivity. These are not easy feats, but they are worth pursuing and attempting. Relying on intellect instead of emotions which are both often fluctuating, contradicting and everchanging will guarantee genuine happiness down the road.
I enjoyed the content of this book quite a lot and plan to add a physical copy to my personal collection as well as sample other of his works.
June 15, 2022
Robert Greene books are always super thick and often packed with much speculation on his part. But I love every bit of it. I feel that if all of us read more widely and diversely we would come to the same conclusions of the author (his educational background is in Classical Studies so he may have an upper hand).
Laws of Human Nature deals with many of the human flaws that are predominant in all of us. It has to be Greene’s biggest book. It explores the works/doings of many greats (or not so greats; infamous at least…) authors and persons such as Martin Luther King, Mary Shelley, Anton Chekhov, to name a few, and it attempts to extract lessons from the circumstances surrounding these people from their recollections of it.
Personally I do not take the recollections of other people too seriously, because I feel most people (myself included) tend to exaggerate often, but Greene’s explanations for human nature really hit home for me. I look at the people I work with or see in the media and I can’t help but nod my head at how accurate the analysis seems to be. Whether the advice is useful or not is really a matter of trial and error.
I really enjoyed learning about the backgrounds of the various people in this book, I can only trust they are accurate (Greene has full bibliographies in the back of book which is something I highly respect and appreciate, being a reader). His profiles of a few other writers was the most fun for me to read as I can read their own books and maybe see some of the reasoning behind their creations (I believe a good author creates a whole universe based off their ideas/impressions).
I always recommend this read to everybody I meet who ask for something (I have read it many times and revisit it often) but I acknowledge that the sheer size of the book and the amount of speculation might be a turn off for some readers.
Laws of Human Nature deals with many of the human flaws that are predominant in all of us. It has to be Greene’s biggest book. It explores the works/doings of many greats (or not so greats; infamous at least…) authors and persons such as Martin Luther King, Mary Shelley, Anton Chekhov, to name a few, and it attempts to extract lessons from the circumstances surrounding these people from their recollections of it.
Personally I do not take the recollections of other people too seriously, because I feel most people (myself included) tend to exaggerate often, but Greene’s explanations for human nature really hit home for me. I look at the people I work with or see in the media and I can’t help but nod my head at how accurate the analysis seems to be. Whether the advice is useful or not is really a matter of trial and error.
I really enjoyed learning about the backgrounds of the various people in this book, I can only trust they are accurate (Greene has full bibliographies in the back of book which is something I highly respect and appreciate, being a reader). His profiles of a few other writers was the most fun for me to read as I can read their own books and maybe see some of the reasoning behind their creations (I believe a good author creates a whole universe based off their ideas/impressions).
I always recommend this read to everybody I meet who ask for something (I have read it many times and revisit it often) but I acknowledge that the sheer size of the book and the amount of speculation might be a turn off for some readers.
June 5, 2020
. کتابهای گرین ترکیبی از روانشناسی-رویدادها و ماجراهای تاریخی- بیوگرافی شخصیت های بزرگ و جملات فلسفی هستش. مثلا اگر در مورد نیمه تاریک حرف بزنه کمی بعد داستانی شیرین از فرمانروایی در چین یا بانویی که صنعت مد رو در دنیا دگرگون کرده یا جنبش مدنی سیاهان و مارتین لوترکینگ یا راکفلر و... تعریف میکنه. رابرت گرین در این کتاب آینه ای به دستت میده که خودت رو بهتر ببینی و بشناسی و منشاء انگیزه ها نگرانی ها عقده ها ضعف ها رو در خودت و دیگران شناسایی کنی و ارزیابی صحیحتری نسبت به توانایی هات پیدا کنی.
December 15, 2018
I've enjoyed Robert Greene's previous books immensely. The 48 Laws of Power was my introduction to the Machiavellian world of power and intrigue. Each page of the book was filled with useful ways to create an aura of power and become a more powerful social creature. His later book, Mastery focused more on an improvement of the self. In this book Greene explored the ways one can learn from the various Masters who have lived before us and have made a profound impact in various areas. And it was with this same interest and hope that I approached this book.
Just like his other books, this one is massive. Running at a never-ending 624 pages, it is by no means a quick read. And after reading through a few chapters, I realized that the book has fallen prey to the oft tried and tested trend in self help literature. Anecdotes, anecdotes and more anecdotes. Mind you this is a safe method. That is why most self help literature heavily rely on this structure. But it is something that I greatly abhor. Yes successful stories do strengthen the conviction of a particular theory. But they also tend to suffer from confirmation and selection bias. It is almost as if Greene made a rough outline of the laws and then searched for examples that would fit these theories. Moreover it feels like that some of the anecdotes are greatly simplified or even modified to suit the narrative.
He might have done the same in his other books as well. But for some reason these anecdotes don't work here. After a couple of chapters, I found myself skipping the anecdotes directly to the part where he explained a particular law.
But by the time I reached the fifth law, I found it quite impossible to carry on. And hence I closed the book, abandoning it for good. I very much would have wanted to like this book and learn from it. But unfortunately the denseness of the material really put me off. The author has rambled on and on to fill up the book with feel-good stories and then propose a one-page full fount of self-help advice. I feel a better idea would be to go through the bibliography that the author has given at the end and instead peruse some of those works. That would be a more productive and focused use of your time.
===
Read more of my book reviews at https://www.fewpagesmore.com
Just like his other books, this one is massive. Running at a never-ending 624 pages, it is by no means a quick read. And after reading through a few chapters, I realized that the book has fallen prey to the oft tried and tested trend in self help literature. Anecdotes, anecdotes and more anecdotes. Mind you this is a safe method. That is why most self help literature heavily rely on this structure. But it is something that I greatly abhor. Yes successful stories do strengthen the conviction of a particular theory. But they also tend to suffer from confirmation and selection bias. It is almost as if Greene made a rough outline of the laws and then searched for examples that would fit these theories. Moreover it feels like that some of the anecdotes are greatly simplified or even modified to suit the narrative.
He might have done the same in his other books as well. But for some reason these anecdotes don't work here. After a couple of chapters, I found myself skipping the anecdotes directly to the part where he explained a particular law.
But by the time I reached the fifth law, I found it quite impossible to carry on. And hence I closed the book, abandoning it for good. I very much would have wanted to like this book and learn from it. But unfortunately the denseness of the material really put me off. The author has rambled on and on to fill up the book with feel-good stories and then propose a one-page full fount of self-help advice. I feel a better idea would be to go through the bibliography that the author has given at the end and instead peruse some of those works. That would be a more productive and focused use of your time.
===
Read more of my book reviews at https://www.fewpagesmore.com
October 12, 2023
নীলক্ষেতে বই কিনতে গেলেই রবার্ট গ্রীন এর বই চোখে পড়ত, কিন্তু কেনা হয়ে উঠে নি। YouTube রবার্ট গ্রীন এর একটা ইন্টারভিউ দেখে লোকটার কথা ভাল লেগে গেল। The Laws of Human Nature - বইটার নাম আমাকে চুম্বকের মত টেনেছে, পড়া শুরু করে দিলাম। তবে আমি অনেক সন্দিহান ছিলাম, বইটা তার নামের সার্থকতা পূরণ করতে পারবে কিনা? কারণ মানুষের প্রকৃতি বা Human Nature এত বেশি বিচিত্রতর আর এত বেশি ভ্যারিয়েবল প্লে করে যে, কোন মোটা দাগে এটাকে ফেলা যাবে এটা প্রায় অসম্ভব। কিন্তু বইটা শেষ করে মনে হয়েছে যে, লেখক তার বইয়ের নামের সার্থকতা অনেকাংশে পূরণ করতে পেরেছেন। লেখক অনেক অসাধারণ সামঞ্জস্যতার সাথে বইটাকে সাজিয়েছেন যা কিনা বইটা পড়তে অনেক হেল্প করবে।
বইটা পড়ে কি লাভ? - প্রথমতঃ বইটা পড়লে আপনি আপনার জীবনকে নতুন আঙ্গিকে দেখতে পাবেন। যেসব জিনিষ আপনি superficially জানেন তা concrete ভাবে জানতে পারবেন। আপনি আপনার জীবনে যেসব জিনিষকে "Taken for granted" হিসেবে ধরে নিয়েছেন সেগুলোকে নতুনভাবে দেখতে সাহায্য করবে বইটা।
দ্বিতীয়ত, আপনি অনেক প্রশ্নের উত্তর খুঁজে পাবেন। যেমন, কেন আপনি একই ভুল বারবার করেন? আপনি যেসব বিষয়গুলো ফিল করেন কিন্তু তার পেছনের সাইকোলজিকাল কারণটা বুঝেন না, সেসব বিষয়ের উত্তর পাবেন।
তৃতীয়ত, আপনি কিভাবে অনেকগুলো ইলুশ্যন আর ভিসিয়াস সাইকেলে আটকা পড়ে আছেন, সেগুলোর ব্যাপারে Aware করবে এবং আপনাকে গাইডলাইন দিবে এই বই।
চতুর্থত, আপনার ডিপ রুটেড বিলিভস গুলো কিভাবে তৈরি হয়েছে এবং সেগুলো আপনাকে কিভাবে নিয়ন্ত্রণ করে সে ব্যাপারগুলো ব্যাপারে ধারণা দিয়েছেন লেখক।
শেষে, লেখক ইতিহাসের বিভিন্ন পর্যায় থেকে অনেক উদাহরণ টেনেছেন, ইতিহাসের মহীরুহ মানুষেরা তাদের বিভিন্ন সমস্যা তারা কিভাবে সমাধান করেছেন তার ব্যাখ্যা করেছেন লেখক।
(আপনার যদি ম্যালকম গ্লাডওয়েল বা ড্যানিয়েল গোলম্যান এর লেখা পড়ে ভাল লাগে তাহলে আপনার রবার্ট গ্রীন এর লেখা ভাল লাগবে। এদের সবার লেখার ধরণ অনেকটা একই রকম।)
ক্রিটিসাইজ যেহেতু করতে বসেছি তাহলে আমার 3 টা ব্যাপার ভাল লাগে নি এই বইয়েরঃ
১। লেখক একই কথা অনেকভাবে বলতে গিয়ে বইটাকে অনেক বড় করে ফেলেছেন। বইটাকে আরো কম্প্যাক্ট করা যেত।
২। বইটা অনেকটা এলগরিদমিক স্টাইলে লিখা, কিন্তু অনেক বেশি বর্ননা করতে গিয়ে বইটার সব টপিক গুলোকে কানেক্ট করতে গিয়ে একটু সমস্যা হবে।
এই সমস্যাটার খুব সহজে সমাধান করা যেত যদি লেখক প্রত্যেক চ্যাপ্টার শেষে সামারি লিখে দিতেন। বইটাকে যদি আত্মস্থ করতে চান কেউ তাহলে তাকে একটু Effort দিয়ে পড়তে হবে।
৩। বইটা অনেক "জেনারালাইজড" ভাবে লেখা হয়েছে, সেজন্য আপনার স্পেসিফিক নেচার কে জানতে হলে আপনাকে অনেক ব্রেইন সেল খরচ করতে হবে। যেটা অনেক সাধারণ পাঠক করবে কিনা আমার সন্দেহ আছে।
যাইহোক যারা শুধুমাত্র "পড়ে গেলেন, কিন্তু কিছুই বুঝলেন না" এরকম পাঠক হয়ে থাকেন, তাহলে এই বই পড়ে সেসকল পাঠক উপকৃত হবেন না বা বইটার আসল মজাটা পাবেন না। সুতরাং আপনার যদি আগ্রহ থাকে, যথেষ্ট সময় থাকে এবং নিউরনে দোলা দিতে ইচ্ছুক তাহলে বসে পড়ুন বইটা নিয়ে। ট্রাস্ট মি, বইটা আপনার চিন্তার অনেক খোরাক জোগাবে।
আমি অনেকটা বায়াসড এই বইয়ের প্রতি কারণ বইটার থিঙ্কিং প্যাটার্ণ অনেকটা আমার নিজের থিঙ্কিং প্যাটার্ণের সাথে মিলে যায়। আমি যেসব জিনিষ নিয়ে চিন্তা করেছি তার বেশিরভাগই লেখক লিখে ফেলেছেন এবং আমার চিন্তাকে একটা শক্ত ভিত্তি দিয়েছেন। এবার আমি আমার নিজের কিছু ফিলোসফি কপচাইঃ বেশিরভাগ মানুষের বিশ্বাস যে, আমাদের ভাগ্য বা Destiny অনেক আগে থেকেই তৈরি হয়ে আছে; আমরা জাস্ট দাবার গুটি। কিন্তু আমার মনে হয়, Human nature isn't mysterious or elusive, rather it is just a really complicated problem to be solved, nothing else.
If we have enough knowledge about human nature and about all the variables that governs life, then we can be able to construct our destiny. We just need enough data, that's all. There is a profound beauty and wisdom within the variables of human nature. I want to find these elusive and mysterious variables of LIFE so that I can solve this DESTINY problem (at least for me).
বইটা পড়ে কি লাভ? - প্রথমতঃ বইটা পড়লে আপনি আপনার জীবনকে নতুন আঙ্গিকে দেখতে পাবেন। যেসব জিনিষ আপনি superficially জানেন তা concrete ভাবে জানতে পারবেন। আপনি আপনার জীবনে যেসব জিনিষকে "Taken for granted" হিসেবে ধরে নিয়েছেন সেগুলোকে নতুনভাবে দেখতে সাহায্য করবে বইটা।
দ্বিতীয়ত, আপনি অনেক প্রশ্নের উত্তর খুঁজে পাবেন। যেমন, কেন আপনি একই ভুল বারবার করেন? আপনি যেসব বিষয়গুলো ফিল করেন কিন্তু তার পেছনের সাইকোলজিকাল কারণটা বুঝেন না, সেসব বিষয়ের উত্তর পাবেন।
তৃতীয়ত, আপনি কিভাবে অনেকগুলো ইলুশ্যন আর ভিসিয়াস সাইকেলে আটকা পড়ে আছেন, সেগুলোর ব্যাপারে Aware করবে এবং আপনাকে গাইডলাইন দিবে এই বই।
চতুর্থত, আপনার ডিপ রুটেড বিলিভস গুলো কিভাবে তৈরি হয়েছে এবং সেগুলো আপনাকে কিভাবে নিয়ন্ত্রণ করে সে ব্যাপারগুলো ব্যাপারে ধারণা দিয়েছেন লেখক।
শেষে, লেখক ইতিহাসের বিভিন্ন পর্যায় থেকে অনেক উদাহরণ টেনেছেন, ইতিহাসের মহীরুহ মানুষেরা তাদের বিভিন্ন সমস্যা তারা কিভাবে সমাধান করেছেন তার ব্যাখ্যা করেছেন লেখক।
(আপনার যদি ম্যালকম গ্লাডওয়েল বা ড্যানিয়েল গোলম্যান এর লেখা পড়ে ভাল লাগে তাহলে আপনার রবার্ট গ্রীন এর লেখা ভাল লাগবে। এদের সবার লেখার ধরণ অনেকটা একই রকম।)
ক্রিটিসাইজ যেহেতু করতে বসেছি তাহলে আমার 3 টা ব্যাপার ভাল লাগে নি এই বইয়েরঃ
১। লেখক একই কথা অনেকভাবে বলতে গিয়ে বইটাকে অনেক বড় করে ফেলেছেন। বইটাকে আরো কম্প্যাক্ট করা যেত।
২। বইটা অনেকটা এলগরিদমিক স্টাইলে লিখা, কিন্তু অনেক বেশি বর্ননা করতে গিয়ে বইটার সব টপিক গুলোকে কানেক্ট করতে গিয়ে একটু সমস্যা হবে।
এই সমস্যাটার খুব সহজে সমাধান করা যেত যদি লেখক প্রত্যেক চ্যাপ্টার শেষে সামারি লিখে দিতেন। বইটাকে যদি আত্মস্থ করতে চান কেউ তাহলে তাকে একটু Effort দিয়ে পড়তে হবে।
৩। বইটা অনেক "জেনারালাইজড" ভাবে লেখা হয়েছে, সেজন্য আপনার স্পেসিফিক নেচার কে জানতে হলে আপনাকে অনেক ব্রেইন সেল খরচ করতে হবে। যেটা অনেক সাধারণ পাঠক করবে কিনা আমার সন্দেহ আছে।
যাইহোক যারা শুধুমাত্র "পড়ে গেলেন, কিন্তু কিছুই বুঝলেন না" এরকম পাঠক হয়ে থাকেন, তাহলে এই বই পড়ে সেসকল পাঠক উপকৃত হবেন না বা বইটার আসল মজাটা পাবেন না। সুতরাং আপনার যদি আগ্রহ থাকে, যথেষ্ট সময় থাকে এবং নিউরনে দোলা দিতে ইচ্ছুক তাহলে বসে পড়ুন বইটা নিয়ে। ট্রাস্ট মি, বইটা আপনার চিন্তার অনেক খোরাক জোগাবে।
আমি অনেকটা বায়াসড এই বইয়ের প্রতি কারণ বইটার থিঙ্কিং প্যাটার্ণ অনেকটা আমার নিজের থিঙ্কিং প্যাটার্ণের সাথে মিলে যায়। আমি যেসব জিনিষ নিয়ে চিন্তা করেছি তার বেশিরভাগই লেখক লিখে ফেলেছেন এবং আমার চিন্তাকে একটা শক্ত ভিত্তি দিয়েছেন। এবার আমি আমার নিজের কিছু ফিলোসফি কপচাইঃ বেশিরভাগ মানুষের বিশ্বাস যে, আমাদের ভাগ্য বা Destiny অনেক আগে থেকেই তৈরি হয়ে আছে; আমরা জাস্ট দাবার গুটি। কিন্তু আমার মনে হয়, Human nature isn't mysterious or elusive, rather it is just a really complicated problem to be solved, nothing else.
If we have enough knowledge about human nature and about all the variables that governs life, then we can be able to construct our destiny. We just need enough data, that's all. There is a profound beauty and wisdom within the variables of human nature. I want to find these elusive and mysterious variables of LIFE so that I can solve this DESTINY problem (at least for me).
December 30, 2021
Maybe Greene's whole oeuvre has been an elaborate plot to decrease chaos in the world. He has written some of the most popular apologies for cynicism since Machiavelli, but then his last book was a brilliant manual for competent creative people on how to be productive despite all the unethical jerks out there.
Mastery
This newest book, while still full of interesting historical anecdotes, is something of a mess. Some of the comments Greene makes indicate that he has understood that a culture of corruption and incompetence winds up being bad for everyone. As a result, he seems to be trying to reverse the ruthless amorality he was encouraging in his first books.
He tries to sell this with psychological jargon about how we are all a little narcissistic, egomaniacal, insecure, cruel, envious, murderous, etc. Whatever. As cautionary tales, he uses Mao, Nixon, Eisner, etc. Fair enough. But I'm skeptical that this sort of advice will help cruel people to stop self-destructive behaviors and thereby stop hurting others. I hope I'm wrong. Maybe Greene has so much credibility with the power-hungry that they will absorb his new message and help the world by helping themselves.
MasteryThis newest book, while still full of interesting historical anecdotes, is something of a mess. Some of the comments Greene makes indicate that he has understood that a culture of corruption and incompetence winds up being bad for everyone. As a result, he seems to be trying to reverse the ruthless amorality he was encouraging in his first books.
He tries to sell this with psychological jargon about how we are all a little narcissistic, egomaniacal, insecure, cruel, envious, murderous, etc. Whatever. As cautionary tales, he uses Mao, Nixon, Eisner, etc. Fair enough. But I'm skeptical that this sort of advice will help cruel people to stop self-destructive behaviors and thereby stop hurting others. I hope I'm wrong. Maybe Greene has so much credibility with the power-hungry that they will absorb his new message and help the world by helping themselves.
May 10, 2019
"If you come across any special trait of meanness or stupidity you must be careful not to let it annoy or distress you, but to look upon it merely as an addition to your knowledge-a new fact to be considered in studying the character of humanity. Your attitude towards it will be that of the mineralogist who stumbles upon a very characteristic specimen of a mineral."
--Arthur Schopenhauer
Understand. Like everyone, you think you are rational, but you are not. Rationality is not a power you were born with but one you acquire with training and practice. Understand. The first step toward becoming rational is to understand our fundamental irrationality. Your first task is to look at the emotions that are continually affecting your ideas and decisions. Learn to question yourself. Why this anger or resentment? Where does this incessant need for attention come from? Under such scrutiny, your emotions will lose their hold on you. You will begin to think for yourself instead of reacting to what others give you. Emotions tend to narrow the mind, making us focus on ideas that satisfy our immediate desire for power retention, ideas that usually backfire. Now, with calm spirit, you can entertain a wide range of options and solutions. You will deliberate longer before acting to reassess your strategies. The voice of Athena will become clear.
Whenever anything goes wrong in our life, we seek an explanation Best generally emphasizes our helplessness., So we can then wallow in self-pity and feel bad for ourselves. But what causes us to go astray is our deep-rooted irrationality, the extent to which our minds are governed by emotion.
To some extent, the rationality is a structure of our brains and is wired into our nature. Being irrational is almost beyond our control.
Greene is the 21C Machiavelli. Last year, I recognized some unpleasant truths and common delusions affecting myself and others, so I turned to psychology books to better understand humans. Greene organizes the psychology and philosophy that I have studied, and he demonstrates his "Laws" with illustrations from history and literature, so his book takes on a much larger scope and depth that transcends the tyrannous present. Many books of psychology/self-help consist of a few common-sense principles, fluffed up with long and boring case-studies about the authors' patients/clients that seem too individualistic to have universal application. Greene, with writing shorn of academic jargon, delivers a punchy culmination of his lifetime of reading people, history, and the classics. Thus, this ruthless psychological study of oneself and others will especially appeal to those who are well-versed in history and art, and who disdain bloodless writing of academic journals. After a first read, I believed that this book comports with my own observation and experience, and, as of today, I plan to re-read this book multiple times until I can prove it wrong or until I memorize these Laws. At this stage of my life, I view it as my Bible, to which I will commit a daily devotional. I am tempted to NOT recommend this book. My selfish shadow, now informed by reality, wants others to continue walking in a cloud of ignorance and thus to be unilaterally disarmed and blind and naked.
A key insight is that most people can be categorized, despite their claims to the contrary. They are readable. Observe and classify them accordingly. Ignore their words. Focus on their actions. Listen to their declarations to see if they are unconsciously describing themselves when they criticize others. Contrarily, listen to their ideas with open-mindedness. They may know something that you can learn.
Another insight. Think strategically not tactically. Victory consists of NEVER allowing a difficult person to disturb your equilibrium. Never lose your cool. Never show your temper. Instead, like Shopenhauer's mineralogist in the opening quotation, chalk it up to the human comedy or catastrophe and laugh it off. Take notes and reorganize. STOP feeding the narcissistic and neurotic fires of others with your oxygen.
These rules apply not just in your professional dealings but in your personal relationships, especially romantic ones. I started online dating, which exponentially increases opportunities for meeting people. Having dated more women this past year than I have in my entire life, I have come to see all varieties of narcissism, neuroticism, and sociopathy in potential partners--like my dates have seen in the men that they have previously dated or married, so I have the added bonus of listening to women's experiences. Men and women are equally cunning, selfish, and manipulative. People delude themselves if they imprison themselves in gender stereotypes--irrationally taking sides with their own gender or assuming that they themselves are pure-hearted. (Something I see repeatedly on GR reviews.) Self-enlightenment awaits only the lucky, informed, fearless, and resilient.
See the world as it is, not as you wish it to be. Pry yourself off the fucking crucifix to which you have nailed yourself. Stop playing the martyr and acting a whiney little bitch. If you feel befuddled and victimized, and you come to believe that others have shit all over you your entire life [just like you yourself shat upon others], start acting like a soldier. "Dog-One Exit is Open!"
***
I will add an outline as time permits.
MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF
The Laws of Irrationality
You like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life. But you are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you. They make you veer toward ideas that soothe your ego. They make you look for evidence that confirms what you already want to believe. They make you see what you want to see, depending on your mood, in this disconnect from reality is the source of bad decisions and negative patterns that haunt your life. Rationality is the ability to counteract these emotional effects, to think instead of react, to open your mind to what is really happening, as opposed to what you are feeling. It does not come naturally; it is a power we must cultivate, but in doing so we realize our greatest potential.
The first step toward becoming rational is to understand our fundamental irrationality. The most common emotion is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Our thoughts almost inevitably revolve around this desire; we simply recoil from entertaining ideas that are unpleasant or painful to us. We imagine we are looking for truth, or being realistic, when in fact we are holding onto the ideas that bring the release from tension and soothe our egos and make us feel superior. This pleasure principle in thinking is the source of all of our mental biases.
Confirmation bias- To hold an idea and convince ourselves we arrived at it rationally, we go in search of evidence to support our view, and we manage to find the evidence that confirms what we want to believe.
Conviction bias--I believe that this idea so strongly. It must be true.
Appearance bias--We see people not as they are, but as they appear to us. Appearances are usually misleading. People have trained themselves in social situations to present the front that is appropriate. We take these masks for reality.
Group Bias--My ideas are my own. I do not listen to the group. I am a nonconformist. We are social animals by nature. The feeling of isolation, difference from the group, is depressing and terrifying. We experience tremendous relief when we find others who think the same way we do.
Blame bias--Mistakes and failures elicited the need to explain. We want to learn the lesson and not repeat the experience. But in truth, we do not like to look too closely. Introspection is limited. Our natural response is to blame others, circumstances, or a momentary lapse of judgment. It is too painful to look at our mistakes.
Superiority Bias. We cannot see our faults and irrationalities, only those of others. Few of us will ever admit that we have resorted to deception or manipulation. Everything we've got comes from natural talent and hard work! But with other people, we are quick to ascribe to them all kinds of Machiavellian tactics. This allows us to justify whatever we do, no matter the results. We feel a tremendous pull to imagine ourselves as rational, decent, and ethical.
2. Beware the Inflaming factors
Trigger Points from Early Childhood
In early childhood, we were at our most sensitive and vulnerable. Our relationship with our parents had a much greater impact on us the further back in time we go. The same could be said for any early powerful experience. These vulnerabilities and wounds remain buried deep within our minds. Sometimes we try to repress the memory of these influences if they happen to be negative-great fears or humiliations. Sometimes, however, they are associated with positive emotions, experiences of love and attention that we continually want to relive. Later in life, a person or event will trigger a memory of this positive or negative experience, and with it the release of powerful chemicals or hormones associated with the memory. The way to recognize this in yourself and in others is by noticing behavior that is suddenly childish in its intensity and seemingly out of character.
Sudden Gains or Losses
Whenever you experience unusual games or losses that is precisely the time to step back and counterbalance them with some necessary pessimism or optimism. Be extra wary of sudden success and attention. They are not built on anything that lasts and they have an addictive pull.
Rising Pressure
Under stress, the cool mask of self-control comes off. We lash out in anger, reveal a paranoid streak, and become hypersensitive and often petty. Stress overwhelms our reasoning powers. Stress reveals flaws in people that they have carefully concealed from view. Observe people in such moments as a way to judge their true character. Never imagine that you are someone who can withstand rising stress without emotional leakage. It is not possible.
Inflaming individuals
There are people in the world who by their nature tend to trigger powerful emotions (extremes of love, hatred, confidence, mistrust) in almost everyone they encounter. [King David, Alcibiades, Julius Caesar, George Danton, and Bill Clinton] These types have charisma and the ability to express eloquently emotions they are feeling, which stirs parallel emotions in others. This leads to profound feelings of attraction in some and repulsion in others. Remain indifferent to them. They have an obsessive quality, and they can lead you to extreme actions as a devoted follower or as an inveterate enemy. On either side of the spectrum-attraction or repulsion-you will tend to be irrational. Recognize their human traits and dismiss all of them.
The Group Effect
When we are in a group, we become different. Notice yourself and others at a sporting event, a concert, a religious or political gathering. It is impossible to not feel caught up in the collective emotions. Your heart beats faster. Tears of joy or sadness come more readily. Being in a group does not stimulate independent reasoning but rather the intense desire to belong. The group effect does not require the presence of others. It can occur virally, as some opinions spread over social media and it affects us with the desire to share the outrage. The appeal is to diabolical emotions, such as hatred of the other, for rabid patriotism, aggression, or sweeping worldviews. You need to inoculate yourself and see through the powerful pull as it works on you. It is often best to avoid a group setting in order to maintain your reasoning powers. Be aware of demagogues who exploit the group effect and stimulate outbreaks of irrationality. They rely on vague but loaded words full of the emotive quality such as justice or truth or patriotism. They talk of abstract, noble goals rather than the solving of specific problems with concrete action. Demagogues in politics or the media try to stir continual sense of panic, urgency, and outrage. Your defense is simple. Consider your reasoning powers your most precious possession. Resent any kind of intrusion upon your independent mind by others.
Do not imagine that the more extreme types of irrationality have somehow been overcome through progress and enlightenment. The irrational simply changes its looks and its fashions. As long as there are humans, the irrational will find its voices and means of spreading. Rationality is something to be acquired by individuals, not by mass movements or technological progress. Feeling superior and beyond it is a sure sign that the irrational is at work.
3. Strategies for bringing out the rational self.
Know yourself thoroughly. Catch your emotional self and action. You must reflect on how you operate under stress. Look at your ineffective decisions. See a pattern. Any underlying insecurity that I'm help no and value what marks you as different.
Examine your emotions to their roots.
Increase your reaction time.
Do not communicate while feeling emotion or resentment. Step back and give it a day.
Accept people as facts.
Stop thinking other people are like you.
See people as phenomena, as neutral as comments or plants. They simply exist. They come in all varieties, making life rich and interesting. Work with what they give you, instead of resisting and trying to change them. Make understanding people a fun game, the solving of puzzles. the human comedy. Like Chekov, mythologize brutes and aggressors. Think like a writer in approaching the people you deal with.
Find the optimal balance of thinking and emotion. The horse and rider.
Love the rational
Reason for Hope Number one the existence throughout history and all cultures of people of high rationality. To almost all of us at some point in our lives have experienced moments of greater rationality.
Examples: Pericles, Athens, the Inner Athena, and the Peloponnesian War. Greene begins this chapter with the story of how Sparta defeated Athens despite the latter’s wealth and naval power.\ examples of rational people who have existed throughout history Pericles the ruler of Aśoka of ancient India, Marcus Relius Marguerite de Valois in medieval France, Leonardo da Vinci, Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln, Anton Chekov, Margaret Mead, Warren Buffett.
Chapter 2
Transform self-love into empathy.
The law of narcissism
Empathy allows us the power to anticipate people's actions and lower their resistance. Empathy is blunted by our habitual self absorption. We are all narcissists, some deeper on the spectrum than others. We must come to terms with the self-love and learn how to turn our sensitivity outward, towards others, instead of inward. But we must recognize the toxic narcissists among us before getting enmeshed in their dramas and poisoned by their envy.
--Arthur Schopenhauer
Understand. Like everyone, you think you are rational, but you are not. Rationality is not a power you were born with but one you acquire with training and practice. Understand. The first step toward becoming rational is to understand our fundamental irrationality. Your first task is to look at the emotions that are continually affecting your ideas and decisions. Learn to question yourself. Why this anger or resentment? Where does this incessant need for attention come from? Under such scrutiny, your emotions will lose their hold on you. You will begin to think for yourself instead of reacting to what others give you. Emotions tend to narrow the mind, making us focus on ideas that satisfy our immediate desire for power retention, ideas that usually backfire. Now, with calm spirit, you can entertain a wide range of options and solutions. You will deliberate longer before acting to reassess your strategies. The voice of Athena will become clear.
Whenever anything goes wrong in our life, we seek an explanation Best generally emphasizes our helplessness., So we can then wallow in self-pity and feel bad for ourselves. But what causes us to go astray is our deep-rooted irrationality, the extent to which our minds are governed by emotion.
To some extent, the rationality is a structure of our brains and is wired into our nature. Being irrational is almost beyond our control.
Greene is the 21C Machiavelli. Last year, I recognized some unpleasant truths and common delusions affecting myself and others, so I turned to psychology books to better understand humans. Greene organizes the psychology and philosophy that I have studied, and he demonstrates his "Laws" with illustrations from history and literature, so his book takes on a much larger scope and depth that transcends the tyrannous present. Many books of psychology/self-help consist of a few common-sense principles, fluffed up with long and boring case-studies about the authors' patients/clients that seem too individualistic to have universal application. Greene, with writing shorn of academic jargon, delivers a punchy culmination of his lifetime of reading people, history, and the classics. Thus, this ruthless psychological study of oneself and others will especially appeal to those who are well-versed in history and art, and who disdain bloodless writing of academic journals. After a first read, I believed that this book comports with my own observation and experience, and, as of today, I plan to re-read this book multiple times until I can prove it wrong or until I memorize these Laws. At this stage of my life, I view it as my Bible, to which I will commit a daily devotional. I am tempted to NOT recommend this book. My selfish shadow, now informed by reality, wants others to continue walking in a cloud of ignorance and thus to be unilaterally disarmed and blind and naked.
A key insight is that most people can be categorized, despite their claims to the contrary. They are readable. Observe and classify them accordingly. Ignore their words. Focus on their actions. Listen to their declarations to see if they are unconsciously describing themselves when they criticize others. Contrarily, listen to their ideas with open-mindedness. They may know something that you can learn.
Another insight. Think strategically not tactically. Victory consists of NEVER allowing a difficult person to disturb your equilibrium. Never lose your cool. Never show your temper. Instead, like Shopenhauer's mineralogist in the opening quotation, chalk it up to the human comedy or catastrophe and laugh it off. Take notes and reorganize. STOP feeding the narcissistic and neurotic fires of others with your oxygen.
These rules apply not just in your professional dealings but in your personal relationships, especially romantic ones. I started online dating, which exponentially increases opportunities for meeting people. Having dated more women this past year than I have in my entire life, I have come to see all varieties of narcissism, neuroticism, and sociopathy in potential partners--like my dates have seen in the men that they have previously dated or married, so I have the added bonus of listening to women's experiences. Men and women are equally cunning, selfish, and manipulative. People delude themselves if they imprison themselves in gender stereotypes--irrationally taking sides with their own gender or assuming that they themselves are pure-hearted. (Something I see repeatedly on GR reviews.) Self-enlightenment awaits only the lucky, informed, fearless, and resilient.
See the world as it is, not as you wish it to be. Pry yourself off the fucking crucifix to which you have nailed yourself. Stop playing the martyr and acting a whiney little bitch. If you feel befuddled and victimized, and you come to believe that others have shit all over you your entire life [just like you yourself shat upon others], start acting like a soldier. "Dog-One Exit is Open!"
***
I will add an outline as time permits.
MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF
The Laws of Irrationality
You like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life. But you are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you. They make you veer toward ideas that soothe your ego. They make you look for evidence that confirms what you already want to believe. They make you see what you want to see, depending on your mood, in this disconnect from reality is the source of bad decisions and negative patterns that haunt your life. Rationality is the ability to counteract these emotional effects, to think instead of react, to open your mind to what is really happening, as opposed to what you are feeling. It does not come naturally; it is a power we must cultivate, but in doing so we realize our greatest potential.
The first step toward becoming rational is to understand our fundamental irrationality. The most common emotion is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Our thoughts almost inevitably revolve around this desire; we simply recoil from entertaining ideas that are unpleasant or painful to us. We imagine we are looking for truth, or being realistic, when in fact we are holding onto the ideas that bring the release from tension and soothe our egos and make us feel superior. This pleasure principle in thinking is the source of all of our mental biases.
Confirmation bias- To hold an idea and convince ourselves we arrived at it rationally, we go in search of evidence to support our view, and we manage to find the evidence that confirms what we want to believe.
Conviction bias--I believe that this idea so strongly. It must be true.
Appearance bias--We see people not as they are, but as they appear to us. Appearances are usually misleading. People have trained themselves in social situations to present the front that is appropriate. We take these masks for reality.
Group Bias--My ideas are my own. I do not listen to the group. I am a nonconformist. We are social animals by nature. The feeling of isolation, difference from the group, is depressing and terrifying. We experience tremendous relief when we find others who think the same way we do.
Blame bias--Mistakes and failures elicited the need to explain. We want to learn the lesson and not repeat the experience. But in truth, we do not like to look too closely. Introspection is limited. Our natural response is to blame others, circumstances, or a momentary lapse of judgment. It is too painful to look at our mistakes.
Superiority Bias. We cannot see our faults and irrationalities, only those of others. Few of us will ever admit that we have resorted to deception or manipulation. Everything we've got comes from natural talent and hard work! But with other people, we are quick to ascribe to them all kinds of Machiavellian tactics. This allows us to justify whatever we do, no matter the results. We feel a tremendous pull to imagine ourselves as rational, decent, and ethical.
2. Beware the Inflaming factors
Trigger Points from Early Childhood
In early childhood, we were at our most sensitive and vulnerable. Our relationship with our parents had a much greater impact on us the further back in time we go. The same could be said for any early powerful experience. These vulnerabilities and wounds remain buried deep within our minds. Sometimes we try to repress the memory of these influences if they happen to be negative-great fears or humiliations. Sometimes, however, they are associated with positive emotions, experiences of love and attention that we continually want to relive. Later in life, a person or event will trigger a memory of this positive or negative experience, and with it the release of powerful chemicals or hormones associated with the memory. The way to recognize this in yourself and in others is by noticing behavior that is suddenly childish in its intensity and seemingly out of character.
Sudden Gains or Losses
Whenever you experience unusual games or losses that is precisely the time to step back and counterbalance them with some necessary pessimism or optimism. Be extra wary of sudden success and attention. They are not built on anything that lasts and they have an addictive pull.
Rising Pressure
Under stress, the cool mask of self-control comes off. We lash out in anger, reveal a paranoid streak, and become hypersensitive and often petty. Stress overwhelms our reasoning powers. Stress reveals flaws in people that they have carefully concealed from view. Observe people in such moments as a way to judge their true character. Never imagine that you are someone who can withstand rising stress without emotional leakage. It is not possible.
Inflaming individuals
There are people in the world who by their nature tend to trigger powerful emotions (extremes of love, hatred, confidence, mistrust) in almost everyone they encounter. [King David, Alcibiades, Julius Caesar, George Danton, and Bill Clinton] These types have charisma and the ability to express eloquently emotions they are feeling, which stirs parallel emotions in others. This leads to profound feelings of attraction in some and repulsion in others. Remain indifferent to them. They have an obsessive quality, and they can lead you to extreme actions as a devoted follower or as an inveterate enemy. On either side of the spectrum-attraction or repulsion-you will tend to be irrational. Recognize their human traits and dismiss all of them.
The Group Effect
When we are in a group, we become different. Notice yourself and others at a sporting event, a concert, a religious or political gathering. It is impossible to not feel caught up in the collective emotions. Your heart beats faster. Tears of joy or sadness come more readily. Being in a group does not stimulate independent reasoning but rather the intense desire to belong. The group effect does not require the presence of others. It can occur virally, as some opinions spread over social media and it affects us with the desire to share the outrage. The appeal is to diabolical emotions, such as hatred of the other, for rabid patriotism, aggression, or sweeping worldviews. You need to inoculate yourself and see through the powerful pull as it works on you. It is often best to avoid a group setting in order to maintain your reasoning powers. Be aware of demagogues who exploit the group effect and stimulate outbreaks of irrationality. They rely on vague but loaded words full of the emotive quality such as justice or truth or patriotism. They talk of abstract, noble goals rather than the solving of specific problems with concrete action. Demagogues in politics or the media try to stir continual sense of panic, urgency, and outrage. Your defense is simple. Consider your reasoning powers your most precious possession. Resent any kind of intrusion upon your independent mind by others.
Do not imagine that the more extreme types of irrationality have somehow been overcome through progress and enlightenment. The irrational simply changes its looks and its fashions. As long as there are humans, the irrational will find its voices and means of spreading. Rationality is something to be acquired by individuals, not by mass movements or technological progress. Feeling superior and beyond it is a sure sign that the irrational is at work.
3. Strategies for bringing out the rational self.
Know yourself thoroughly. Catch your emotional self and action. You must reflect on how you operate under stress. Look at your ineffective decisions. See a pattern. Any underlying insecurity that I'm help no and value what marks you as different.
Examine your emotions to their roots.
Increase your reaction time.
Do not communicate while feeling emotion or resentment. Step back and give it a day.
Accept people as facts.
Stop thinking other people are like you.
See people as phenomena, as neutral as comments or plants. They simply exist. They come in all varieties, making life rich and interesting. Work with what they give you, instead of resisting and trying to change them. Make understanding people a fun game, the solving of puzzles. the human comedy. Like Chekov, mythologize brutes and aggressors. Think like a writer in approaching the people you deal with.
Find the optimal balance of thinking and emotion. The horse and rider.
Love the rational
Reason for Hope Number one the existence throughout history and all cultures of people of high rationality. To almost all of us at some point in our lives have experienced moments of greater rationality.
Examples: Pericles, Athens, the Inner Athena, and the Peloponnesian War. Greene begins this chapter with the story of how Sparta defeated Athens despite the latter’s wealth and naval power.\ examples of rational people who have existed throughout history Pericles the ruler of Aśoka of ancient India, Marcus Relius Marguerite de Valois in medieval France, Leonardo da Vinci, Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln, Anton Chekov, Margaret Mead, Warren Buffett.
Chapter 2
Transform self-love into empathy.
The law of narcissism
Empathy allows us the power to anticipate people's actions and lower their resistance. Empathy is blunted by our habitual self absorption. We are all narcissists, some deeper on the spectrum than others. We must come to terms with the self-love and learn how to turn our sensitivity outward, towards others, instead of inward. But we must recognize the toxic narcissists among us before getting enmeshed in their dramas and poisoned by their envy.
February 28, 2020
كتاب رائع آخر من كتب روبرت قرين، بين أن تكون أنت الطفل الصغير الذي يربي العالم وبين أن يربيك العالم بالتدريج ويقلم أظافرك وسيلة لفهم نفسك والآخرين والأنماط التي عليك أن تفر منها قبل أن تلتصق.
January 4, 2019
One star for for each of those two chapters that I actually enjoyed reading - the envy and mortality ones. And even that feels like too much.
It took forever to read this book, despite timeline showing just 11 days, it was not easy and I mostly couldn't focus on more than one chapter in one sitting. If not praised and recommended by everyone around, this would have ended in my DNF pile, as life is just too short. But since I actually had the rare occurrence of holding a physical book, I pushed through and I finished. And unfortunately, I was disappointed.
I had a few problems with this book:
-the length. What was the quote about perfection and not being to cut down any further? This book could use a lot of that. Something like 400 pages less. The author surely liked beating around the bush and then explaining the same concept .. five times in words that just don't make sense. Reading Orwell's Politics and the English Language would be in order
-referencing. Majority of the "laws" and the supporting "evidence" does not have any citations whatsoever. Most of them I had read elsewhere, so just to present that as a fact without actually stating the author is just not a good style
-whenever I see sentences about historic figures like "she thought about this and that" and the person has been dead for over 500 years, I just cringe. Even with extensive diaries (that not everyone has) noone can claim to KNOW what the person was thinking about at a certain moment.
-too much history. Most of "examples" were just so utterly boring, and combining that with the manner of actual characters having fictional thoughts it was just too much.
-factual errors. One of the "laws" actually had description of universal micro-expressions in quite an erroneous manner.
-the book had an overall ominous connotation, everything and everyone being "so bad" in their human nature. I rarely get this kind of vibe from a book. I am not the most positive and cheerful person, but reading this just made me wonder how can anyone see humanity in such a bad light
-this book is basically claiming to be a sorts of "Bible" or "manual" on human interaction, yet reading it I constantly felt the need to ask "who made the author qualified to actually say so?!" A degree in classical studies and a somewhat careless collection of behavioral science anecdotes just does not cut it.
(I might be adding a few more points to this as I remember what else I disliked).
That said, I will likely read some of his other books, just for having an opinion of my own, if nothing else.
It took forever to read this book, despite timeline showing just 11 days, it was not easy and I mostly couldn't focus on more than one chapter in one sitting. If not praised and recommended by everyone around, this would have ended in my DNF pile, as life is just too short. But since I actually had the rare occurrence of holding a physical book, I pushed through and I finished. And unfortunately, I was disappointed.
I had a few problems with this book:
-the length. What was the quote about perfection and not being to cut down any further? This book could use a lot of that. Something like 400 pages less. The author surely liked beating around the bush and then explaining the same concept .. five times in words that just don't make sense. Reading Orwell's Politics and the English Language would be in order
-referencing. Majority of the "laws" and the supporting "evidence" does not have any citations whatsoever. Most of them I had read elsewhere, so just to present that as a fact without actually stating the author is just not a good style
-whenever I see sentences about historic figures like "she thought about this and that" and the person has been dead for over 500 years, I just cringe. Even with extensive diaries (that not everyone has) noone can claim to KNOW what the person was thinking about at a certain moment.
-too much history. Most of "examples" were just so utterly boring, and combining that with the manner of actual characters having fictional thoughts it was just too much.
-factual errors. One of the "laws" actually had description of universal micro-expressions in quite an erroneous manner.
-the book had an overall ominous connotation, everything and everyone being "so bad" in their human nature. I rarely get this kind of vibe from a book. I am not the most positive and cheerful person, but reading this just made me wonder how can anyone see humanity in such a bad light
-this book is basically claiming to be a sorts of "Bible" or "manual" on human interaction, yet reading it I constantly felt the need to ask "who made the author qualified to actually say so?!" A degree in classical studies and a somewhat careless collection of behavioral science anecdotes just does not cut it.
(I might be adding a few more points to this as I remember what else I disliked).
That said, I will likely read some of his other books, just for having an opinion of my own, if nothing else.
May 5, 2020
Loved every part of Robert Greene's book!
Included it in my growth mindset books selection.
Included it in my growth mindset books selection.
Read
February 7, 2021به صفحهی پونصد رسیدم، رابرت گرین داشت میگفت لازم نیست تو عمق وجودتون به همگروهیهاتون نزدیک باشید، فقط کافیه فیک کنید که نزدیکید.
جملهش تموم نشده گفتم ایناف. این کتاب واقعا برای من نیست. رابرت گرین واقعا برای من نیست و من نمیتونم فیک باشم. نمیتونم فیک کنم. حداقل الان و تو این برهه از زندگیم. ولی حتما یادم میمونه که اگر یه روزی بدون پرسش از چرا و چطور، بخوام به منافعم برسم از این کتاب استفاده کنم. در اون صورته که این کتاب خیلی مفیده.
جملهش تموم نشده گفتم ایناف. این کتاب واقعا برای من نیست. رابرت گرین واقعا برای من نیست و من نمیتونم فیک باشم. نمیتونم فیک کنم. حداقل الان و تو این برهه از زندگیم. ولی حتما یادم میمونه که اگر یه روزی بدون پرسش از چرا و چطور، بخوام به منافعم برسم از این کتاب استفاده کنم. در اون صورته که این کتاب خیلی مفیده.
June 24, 2019
4/10
I used to hold a much higher opinion of Greene. I read "The 33 Strategies of War" when I was 16, and found it enthralling and enlightening. Greene provides examples in story form to open his chapters, and from there expounds on human nature. However, I now find his modus operandi to be rather stale and formulaic. Bear with me then, as I show how to write a Robert Green book: first, select a number between 10 and 60, second, select a strongly worded title, preferably including 'law' in it, and top it off with colored geometric shapes on the cover. Now to the actual writing: open every chapter with an overly simplified, poorly researched, yet interesting historical anecdote, and then proceed to force it fit into your preconceived lesson for this chapter, with plenty of arm chair psychology and rambling with certainty.
Obviously I'm being tongue in cheek, especially as the stories Greene tells are certainly his strong points, but I don't think Greene put in the requisite leg work to make this book anywhere near as good as it should have been, and I find that disappointing.
I used to hold a much higher opinion of Greene. I read "The 33 Strategies of War" when I was 16, and found it enthralling and enlightening. Greene provides examples in story form to open his chapters, and from there expounds on human nature. However, I now find his modus operandi to be rather stale and formulaic. Bear with me then, as I show how to write a Robert Green book: first, select a number between 10 and 60, second, select a strongly worded title, preferably including 'law' in it, and top it off with colored geometric shapes on the cover. Now to the actual writing: open every chapter with an overly simplified, poorly researched, yet interesting historical anecdote, and then proceed to force it fit into your preconceived lesson for this chapter, with plenty of arm chair psychology and rambling with certainty.
Obviously I'm being tongue in cheek, especially as the stories Greene tells are certainly his strong points, but I don't think Greene put in the requisite leg work to make this book anywhere near as good as it should have been, and I find that disappointing.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,706 reviews