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Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence
Experienced martial artist and veteran correction officer Sgt. Rory Miller distills what he has learned from jailhouse brawls, tactical operations and ambushes to explore the differences between martial arts and the subject martial arts were designed to deal with: Violence. Sgt. Miller introduces the myths, metaphors and expectations that most martial artists have about what they will ultimately learn in their dojo. This is then compared with the complexity of the reality of violence. Complexity is one of the recurring themes throughout this work. Section Two examines how to think critically about violence, how to evaluate sources of knowledge and clearly explains the concepts of strategy and tactics. Sections Three and Four focus on the dynamics of violence itself and the predators who perpetuate it. Drawing on hundreds of encounters and thousands of hours spent with criminals Sgt. Miller explains the types of violence; how, where, when and why it develops; the effects of adrenaline; how criminals think, and even the effects of drugs and altered states of consciousness in a fight. Section Five centers on training for violence, and adapting your present training methods to that reality. It discusses the pros and cons of modern and ancient martial arts training and gives a unique insight into early Japanese kata as a military training method. Section Six is all about how to make self-defense work. Miller examines how to look at defense in a broader context, and how to overcome some of your own subconscious resistance to meeting violence with violence. The last section deals with the aftermath--the cost of surviving sudden violence or violent environments, how it can change you for good or bad. It gives advice for supervisors and even for instructors on how to help a student/survivor. You'll even learn a bit about enlightenment.
202 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
About the author
Rory Miller
57 books126 followersSergeant Rory Miller is a corrections officer, a martial artist, and an instructor in both of those areas.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 166 reviews
February 1, 2013
Before I start rambling on about things, I want to say that this book is amazing.
I came across it because Sam Harris praised it in Free Will. So maybe you'll give me a little bit of leeway and consider reading it yourself, since it's not just another of those goony MMA books that I read from time to time.
Wait, did I just sort of say you should read this book? I guess I did. This is a book about how to stay alive in the unfortunate circumstance that real violence comes suddenly into your life. It's written by a guy whose been in enough real fights, with real dangerous people that he's taken down a prisoner (he's a corrections officer) one-handed without spilling his coffee. He's fought and beat larger men than himself who had the element of surprise and been thinking about the paperwork he'd have to fill out more than the fight itself. He knows what violence looks and feels like. And he writes pretty well, too.
The book is ostensibly written for the 'martial artist', to show that what you learn in your gym isn't what real violence is. That because you rip it up while sparring, doesn't mean that when someone jumps you on the street that you're going to not get your ass kicked (or worse) just because you have some techniques that work in training.
Why would you want to read this though? Because it's a fairly interesting book, and because it's about something that unfortunately you could come into contact with and if you do, it's apparently not like you see in the movies.
I will admit right now, I haven't ever been in a real fight. I was in a few sort of fights as a kid, but nothing serious. I do have a fairly active imagination though, and I'm fairly critical, and from my experiences with martial arts training I've sort of extrapolated some of the lessons in this book on my own. What follows are some stories of someone who has, I think, a fairly decent grasp on the theory of fighting/violence/martial arts, but zero real-world experience. Some experience in the relatively safe confines of a gym, but as this book is quick to point out, sparring is sparring. It's fun, but it's not fighting for real. It's not confronting violence.
A couple of stories.
A couple of weeks ago I arrived quite early to my Wednesday evening Muay Thai class. Sometimes the trains run really fast and I get from work to class in less than a half-hour. Sometimes they are slow as shit and I barely get to class on time.
This night I was very early.
I got changed, and I was sitting on the mats with my back against the wall watching the teenage TKD class practicing while I wrapped up my hands and started to stretch a bit.
They were doing some kind of fast kick drill, and then they did a drill where one kid would throw a fast kick at the other, and when the other kid saw the kick coming he would deliver an ax kick. The instructor told the kids that when you see a fast kick you do an ax kick to the collarbone of your opponent to stop him.
I'm not a TKD person. I've never learned how to do a fast kick, it looks like a less powerful version of a roundhouse kick, and like most of the kicks in TKD it involves no 'telegraphing' with a bit of a step to the side like Muay Thai kicks do (which does telegraph I am about the kick if you are standing in front of someone, but if you were moving around it's not difficult to incorporate the step into your footwork and just kick instead of say stepping to your left (if you were going to throw a rear roundhouse kick from a standard fighting stance). An axe kick, is sort of a kick where you kick your leg straight up, and then bring it down on the person (like an axe swinging, sort of).
According to the drill, if you see someone throwing a fast kick at you, you should do an ax kick to stop them. I asked the guy sitting next to me, "Is he serious, that isn't possible", the other guy shrugged. I don't think he thought it was possible but probably figured that our instructor maybe knew something we didn't know.
I don't think it's possible. Maybe in the confines of the rules in a TKD competition it would be. Maybe a normal fast kick isn't delivered to a spot on the body that scores a point, and is instead a sort of jab to open up an opponent to deliver another kick that would score a point, but where an ax kick would hit a spot were a point were scored.
The technique wasn't presented in this way though.
It was presented as if someone came at you with a kick, you stop the kick by doing an axe kick.
This would get you hurt in the real world.*
A lot of techniques work in martial arts classes because there is an agreement that A does this to B in exactly this way and then B does this move. Repeat over and over again. A is going to throw this fast kick, and probably unconsciously pull the kick more than he or she normally would (because you are already not trying to hurt someone when you are drilling), so that B can have the time to make this unwieldy move work.
Or on Monday I learned what to do if a lobotomized person came lumbering at me with both of their arms out in front of them, walking like Frankenstein or an extra in Night of the Living Dead. If I were attacked in a screwball comedy by some funny man who is trying to choke me with two hands I feel fairly confident that I could get him in a clinch with his right arm tied up and then holding down his head with my right arm knee him a few times in the face.
This is another technique that would get me hurt in the real world if I were doing to stake my life on it.
In class I was going to ask, when exactly would this be useful? But I kept my mouth shut. I had already figured out the answer for myself.**
Another story.
About fifteen years ago, or so, I was working at Pizza Hut delivering pizza. If you have ever worked at delivering food, you probably have had experiences where people say the oh so funny joke of, hey lets take that guys pizza. You generally shrug these things off as being the moronic things that people say, and usually they are laughing right afterwards and say, "I betcha never heard that one before". Even though technically what they are saying is, lets rob this delivery guy, you know that it's a joke. Not one in good taste maybe, but you don't really feel threatened, or at least not anymore than you do when you encounter dumbasses.
This isn't about that though. One day, I was making a delivery out to the Navy Housing, you know those ugly two family houses that all look alike out on Route 29. I made my delivery and I was heading back to the store and I was at a stop light at West Avenue, when I looked I looked in my rear view mirror and saw some fucking redneck jump out of a pick up truck behind me, yell something while he ran towards my car and started to reach for my passenger side door. I hit the gas, ran the red light and the pick up truck followed me. I made a couple of turns and saw the truck continue to follow me. I ran a few more red lights and was thinking thoughts like, fuck, what the fuck is going on. I had (and have) no idea what they wanted. All I knew was angry looking redneck tried to get my car door open and now they were chasing me (I hadn't actually thought of this for years, this book reminded me of what might be my closest encounter with real violence). I don't know what their intentions were. The only thing I thought is these people most likely want to hurt me. Why else would they also be running red lights, unless it was just to fuck with me, in which case they were doing a good job at it (which is probably all they were doing, but who really knows).
Once I established, yes they are chasing me, I decided that the best thing to do would be to get back to Pizza Hut. There would be other people there. There would be other drivers, there would possibly be my big scary friend who worked next door as a piercer. Most likely I wouldn't be outnumbered, and more importantly there would be people around so it would be less likely that the rednecks would do whatever it was they wanted to do.
So raced back to Pizza Hut. I pulled into the lot while blaring my horn, slammed on the breaks and jumped out of the car clutching my Mark Gonzalez skateboard in one hand by the trucks (at the time I always had my skateboard on the floor right behind the driver seat in my car) and started screaming at the pick up truck something along the lines of 'c'mon motherfuckers'. People I worked with came out to see what I was doing. The pickup truck sped off and nothing happened, except people were wondering why I was acting like a lunatic in the parking lot.
What did I avoid in this situation? I don't know. I never had the chance to ask the gentlemen why exactly they wanted to get in my car, why they chased me, what they thought would happen. I don't think if I had jumped out of my car when he tried to get in my car, even brandishing my skateboard as a weapon I would have fared too well. I think I actually handled the situation about as well as I possibly could, although maybe I should have tried to get their license plate number, but at the time I wasn't a big fan of the police, and they already let me down once in a similar incident.
I think this book would approve of the way I acted there. I had no fighting skills at all at the time.
The Book, sort of
One of the interesting things about the book is that it tells you straight up some of things that really happen during a fight. Things you don't think of, or maybe wouldn't expect.
What it feels like to have all those fucking chemicals flood your system. You've had the adrenaline rush before, you have an idea what it feels like, but are you ready to try to defend yourself when you have all this shit running through you, and you quite possibly become frozen from the situation? Sparring isn't fighting, but if you've ever sparred you probably have some idea about how scary it is the first time.
Generally one of two things happen to someone when they start to spar. They either freeze, not literally freeze, where they don't move at all, but their reactions stop. They can't 'pull the trigger'. They might throw some lazy punches, but they are slow, they are painstakingly decided on so that they are telegraphed way before they are thrown. Or they go nuts and start winging wild shots. Obviously if you are in a situation where physical harm is a grave possibility, you are better off if your reaction is the second. Personally, I had the first reaction. I told myself I was waiting to counter, but I just couldn't throw anything, I could think about everything I learned, and I dwelled on what I should do, but I did nothing more than catch a few punches with my lead hand and then eat some punches and a head kick, that was before I threw up hands up, said that is enough and went to the back door to get some air and try to stop freaking out (I have discovered that I am claustrophobic through my fighting classes. If I get too winded I start to think there is no oxygen in the room and I freak out, if I see a door to the gym is open I can calm down, after reading this book, I've also realized that every time that this has happened it has been during a sparring session, or during the equivalent to sparring in bjj, in other words when there is the possibility of getting injured by another person, I had thought that the problem with sparring was a combination of the headgear which felt sort of suffocating to me, and the mouthpiece that was constricting my breathing slightly just by being worn. I now think it's probably the flood of chemicals that ever relatively benign sparring can induce. Since the first couple of times I've become much more relaxed while sparring, but I've seen similar things happen to other people their first times out).
Another unexpected thing happens when you get hit for the first time in the face. It freezes you. Getting hit in the face isn't something we are used to, it makes the brain do a double take. It's probably why hysterical people were traditionally slapped, it makes the brain stop what it is doing and question what is happening. It forces a reset of sorts. It's another thing you might not think would happen in a fight, you would expect to get hit in the face, right? But knowing it is going to happen and having your brain register this new unexpected thing happening that is outside of it's normal experiences are two different things. Getting hit in the face is slightly jarring experience. I'm sure it's even more jarring when you get hit really hard by someone not wearing boxing gloves.
There are other things like this that are brought up in the book, but the point is that these are things that could and most likely will happen if you find yourself in a bad situation and they are the kinds of things that, even briefly, paralyze your thoughts and actions.
The key thing that this book teaches is that you have to be ready to act. It doesn't try to teach you how to fight, it points out things to look out for, how to avoid bad situations, how to try to deescalate a potentially volatile situation, how to know when it's not going to be possible to talk your way out of it and to recognize that you have to be ready to flee or fight. It's about the things you need to think about before a bad situation even arises, what you know yourself honestly to be capable of, what are the situations and events when you will act right away, and not try to work out what you should do when the situation arises and you're no longer afforded the luxury of weighing your choices casually. The book peels away the bullshit you see in most martial arts and self defense books. It doesn't try to tell you that of course if an attacker comes at you with a knife you can just do this handy judo throw, shown in eight easy steps and incapacitate your opponent (who will only really be thrown to the ground, and if he wants to hurt you will be right back up to do it).
This review probably isn't doing too much to make you want to read it, but it's really quite a great book. Maybe you need to spend way too much of your free time thinking about fighting to enjoy it, but I think it's well written enough, funny enough and told with an engaging enough style that even people who don't spend most of their time at work thinking about how effective different striking combinations really are, and what would be the best thing to do if non-threatening customers suddenly turned threatening could enjoy it.
Plus, Sam Harris thinks it's a great book.
*Two people of equal skill fighting, the fast kick will be faster, especially if the attacker is throwing this kick. Responding to any attack takes some time, and an ax kick is an unwieldy attack. Even if you were skilled at it, the time it would take to get your leg up into the air to complete the arc to bring down on your opponent would be more than enough time for the attacker to land his attack.
I've thought about this 'move' quite a bit, mostly because I've been trying to figure out how it could work. I can't get it to. The only thing I can think is that a fast kick is relatively low-power, but it doesn't need to be. I've seen some advance TKD people throw some very powerful kicks, ones that could knock you over, especially if you are now standing on one foot and need to have balance to keep necessary power generation to deliver a blow that would shatter someone's collarbone.
Instead I started to think of what I would do if I were starting to kick someone and they went to respond with a possibly bone breaking ax kick. The best answer I can come up with is mid kick turn the 'fast kick' into a rainbow kick (I'm not making these names up (a rainbow kick is sort of like the ax kick, but it's from the roundhouse kick, but instead of going straight at the target, you sort of jerk your hips and send the kick chopping downwards, ideally right above or into your opponent's knee), and chop his one leg right out from under him. Then when he's on the ground, if you're not feeling sporting, deliver some soccer kicks to the head and body until he is no longer a threat.
**Not to be too hasty. Two evenings later I was at work and Karen told a customer that sitting on the floor isn't allowed. He said something to her, and I could only sort of hear it and I turned around to look at him, sitting there on the ground about ten feet away from me, and he gave me one of those stupid tough guy 'hard' stares. I laughed a bit to myself, a bit out loud as I walked away from him. I'm not interested in playing what the author of this book calls the Monkey Dance, you know the ritual chest pumping bullshit that guys engage in. It goes something like, stare, then what are you looking at, some other words, maybe light chest bumping and then maybe if the people watching the cretins doing this nonsense are lucky they would be rewarded with getting to see some fisticuffs, but it doesn't get to this point that often. I find the idea of engaging in bullshit like that to be embarrassing. If I were so inclined to take the stare as a threat that needed to be responded to, and if I didn't mind losing my job, my answer would have been to attack while the dumbass is in a very weak offensive position and where the fight could be won with minimal risk of bodily injury to myself. In this situation I would probably have all the time I needed to put him in some fancy move and maybe impress the one person in a hundred that might see this and admire my technique and not be aghast at what a sociopath I was acting like for attacking someone who only gave me a dirty look.
I came across it because Sam Harris praised it in Free Will. So maybe you'll give me a little bit of leeway and consider reading it yourself, since it's not just another of those goony MMA books that I read from time to time.
Wait, did I just sort of say you should read this book? I guess I did. This is a book about how to stay alive in the unfortunate circumstance that real violence comes suddenly into your life. It's written by a guy whose been in enough real fights, with real dangerous people that he's taken down a prisoner (he's a corrections officer) one-handed without spilling his coffee. He's fought and beat larger men than himself who had the element of surprise and been thinking about the paperwork he'd have to fill out more than the fight itself. He knows what violence looks and feels like. And he writes pretty well, too.
The book is ostensibly written for the 'martial artist', to show that what you learn in your gym isn't what real violence is. That because you rip it up while sparring, doesn't mean that when someone jumps you on the street that you're going to not get your ass kicked (or worse) just because you have some techniques that work in training.
Why would you want to read this though? Because it's a fairly interesting book, and because it's about something that unfortunately you could come into contact with and if you do, it's apparently not like you see in the movies.
I will admit right now, I haven't ever been in a real fight. I was in a few sort of fights as a kid, but nothing serious. I do have a fairly active imagination though, and I'm fairly critical, and from my experiences with martial arts training I've sort of extrapolated some of the lessons in this book on my own. What follows are some stories of someone who has, I think, a fairly decent grasp on the theory of fighting/violence/martial arts, but zero real-world experience. Some experience in the relatively safe confines of a gym, but as this book is quick to point out, sparring is sparring. It's fun, but it's not fighting for real. It's not confronting violence.
A couple of stories.
A couple of weeks ago I arrived quite early to my Wednesday evening Muay Thai class. Sometimes the trains run really fast and I get from work to class in less than a half-hour. Sometimes they are slow as shit and I barely get to class on time.
This night I was very early.
I got changed, and I was sitting on the mats with my back against the wall watching the teenage TKD class practicing while I wrapped up my hands and started to stretch a bit.
They were doing some kind of fast kick drill, and then they did a drill where one kid would throw a fast kick at the other, and when the other kid saw the kick coming he would deliver an ax kick. The instructor told the kids that when you see a fast kick you do an ax kick to the collarbone of your opponent to stop him.
I'm not a TKD person. I've never learned how to do a fast kick, it looks like a less powerful version of a roundhouse kick, and like most of the kicks in TKD it involves no 'telegraphing' with a bit of a step to the side like Muay Thai kicks do (which does telegraph I am about the kick if you are standing in front of someone, but if you were moving around it's not difficult to incorporate the step into your footwork and just kick instead of say stepping to your left (if you were going to throw a rear roundhouse kick from a standard fighting stance). An axe kick, is sort of a kick where you kick your leg straight up, and then bring it down on the person (like an axe swinging, sort of).
According to the drill, if you see someone throwing a fast kick at you, you should do an ax kick to stop them. I asked the guy sitting next to me, "Is he serious, that isn't possible", the other guy shrugged. I don't think he thought it was possible but probably figured that our instructor maybe knew something we didn't know.
I don't think it's possible. Maybe in the confines of the rules in a TKD competition it would be. Maybe a normal fast kick isn't delivered to a spot on the body that scores a point, and is instead a sort of jab to open up an opponent to deliver another kick that would score a point, but where an ax kick would hit a spot were a point were scored.
The technique wasn't presented in this way though.
It was presented as if someone came at you with a kick, you stop the kick by doing an axe kick.
This would get you hurt in the real world.*
A lot of techniques work in martial arts classes because there is an agreement that A does this to B in exactly this way and then B does this move. Repeat over and over again. A is going to throw this fast kick, and probably unconsciously pull the kick more than he or she normally would (because you are already not trying to hurt someone when you are drilling), so that B can have the time to make this unwieldy move work.
Or on Monday I learned what to do if a lobotomized person came lumbering at me with both of their arms out in front of them, walking like Frankenstein or an extra in Night of the Living Dead. If I were attacked in a screwball comedy by some funny man who is trying to choke me with two hands I feel fairly confident that I could get him in a clinch with his right arm tied up and then holding down his head with my right arm knee him a few times in the face.
This is another technique that would get me hurt in the real world if I were doing to stake my life on it.
In class I was going to ask, when exactly would this be useful? But I kept my mouth shut. I had already figured out the answer for myself.**
Another story.
About fifteen years ago, or so, I was working at Pizza Hut delivering pizza. If you have ever worked at delivering food, you probably have had experiences where people say the oh so funny joke of, hey lets take that guys pizza. You generally shrug these things off as being the moronic things that people say, and usually they are laughing right afterwards and say, "I betcha never heard that one before". Even though technically what they are saying is, lets rob this delivery guy, you know that it's a joke. Not one in good taste maybe, but you don't really feel threatened, or at least not anymore than you do when you encounter dumbasses.
This isn't about that though. One day, I was making a delivery out to the Navy Housing, you know those ugly two family houses that all look alike out on Route 29. I made my delivery and I was heading back to the store and I was at a stop light at West Avenue, when I looked I looked in my rear view mirror and saw some fucking redneck jump out of a pick up truck behind me, yell something while he ran towards my car and started to reach for my passenger side door. I hit the gas, ran the red light and the pick up truck followed me. I made a couple of turns and saw the truck continue to follow me. I ran a few more red lights and was thinking thoughts like, fuck, what the fuck is going on. I had (and have) no idea what they wanted. All I knew was angry looking redneck tried to get my car door open and now they were chasing me (I hadn't actually thought of this for years, this book reminded me of what might be my closest encounter with real violence). I don't know what their intentions were. The only thing I thought is these people most likely want to hurt me. Why else would they also be running red lights, unless it was just to fuck with me, in which case they were doing a good job at it (which is probably all they were doing, but who really knows).
Once I established, yes they are chasing me, I decided that the best thing to do would be to get back to Pizza Hut. There would be other people there. There would be other drivers, there would possibly be my big scary friend who worked next door as a piercer. Most likely I wouldn't be outnumbered, and more importantly there would be people around so it would be less likely that the rednecks would do whatever it was they wanted to do.
So raced back to Pizza Hut. I pulled into the lot while blaring my horn, slammed on the breaks and jumped out of the car clutching my Mark Gonzalez skateboard in one hand by the trucks (at the time I always had my skateboard on the floor right behind the driver seat in my car) and started screaming at the pick up truck something along the lines of 'c'mon motherfuckers'. People I worked with came out to see what I was doing. The pickup truck sped off and nothing happened, except people were wondering why I was acting like a lunatic in the parking lot.
What did I avoid in this situation? I don't know. I never had the chance to ask the gentlemen why exactly they wanted to get in my car, why they chased me, what they thought would happen. I don't think if I had jumped out of my car when he tried to get in my car, even brandishing my skateboard as a weapon I would have fared too well. I think I actually handled the situation about as well as I possibly could, although maybe I should have tried to get their license plate number, but at the time I wasn't a big fan of the police, and they already let me down once in a similar incident.
I think this book would approve of the way I acted there. I had no fighting skills at all at the time.
The Book, sort of
One of the interesting things about the book is that it tells you straight up some of things that really happen during a fight. Things you don't think of, or maybe wouldn't expect.
What it feels like to have all those fucking chemicals flood your system. You've had the adrenaline rush before, you have an idea what it feels like, but are you ready to try to defend yourself when you have all this shit running through you, and you quite possibly become frozen from the situation? Sparring isn't fighting, but if you've ever sparred you probably have some idea about how scary it is the first time.
Generally one of two things happen to someone when they start to spar. They either freeze, not literally freeze, where they don't move at all, but their reactions stop. They can't 'pull the trigger'. They might throw some lazy punches, but they are slow, they are painstakingly decided on so that they are telegraphed way before they are thrown. Or they go nuts and start winging wild shots. Obviously if you are in a situation where physical harm is a grave possibility, you are better off if your reaction is the second. Personally, I had the first reaction. I told myself I was waiting to counter, but I just couldn't throw anything, I could think about everything I learned, and I dwelled on what I should do, but I did nothing more than catch a few punches with my lead hand and then eat some punches and a head kick, that was before I threw up hands up, said that is enough and went to the back door to get some air and try to stop freaking out (I have discovered that I am claustrophobic through my fighting classes. If I get too winded I start to think there is no oxygen in the room and I freak out, if I see a door to the gym is open I can calm down, after reading this book, I've also realized that every time that this has happened it has been during a sparring session, or during the equivalent to sparring in bjj, in other words when there is the possibility of getting injured by another person, I had thought that the problem with sparring was a combination of the headgear which felt sort of suffocating to me, and the mouthpiece that was constricting my breathing slightly just by being worn. I now think it's probably the flood of chemicals that ever relatively benign sparring can induce. Since the first couple of times I've become much more relaxed while sparring, but I've seen similar things happen to other people their first times out).
Another unexpected thing happens when you get hit for the first time in the face. It freezes you. Getting hit in the face isn't something we are used to, it makes the brain do a double take. It's probably why hysterical people were traditionally slapped, it makes the brain stop what it is doing and question what is happening. It forces a reset of sorts. It's another thing you might not think would happen in a fight, you would expect to get hit in the face, right? But knowing it is going to happen and having your brain register this new unexpected thing happening that is outside of it's normal experiences are two different things. Getting hit in the face is slightly jarring experience. I'm sure it's even more jarring when you get hit really hard by someone not wearing boxing gloves.
There are other things like this that are brought up in the book, but the point is that these are things that could and most likely will happen if you find yourself in a bad situation and they are the kinds of things that, even briefly, paralyze your thoughts and actions.
The key thing that this book teaches is that you have to be ready to act. It doesn't try to teach you how to fight, it points out things to look out for, how to avoid bad situations, how to try to deescalate a potentially volatile situation, how to know when it's not going to be possible to talk your way out of it and to recognize that you have to be ready to flee or fight. It's about the things you need to think about before a bad situation even arises, what you know yourself honestly to be capable of, what are the situations and events when you will act right away, and not try to work out what you should do when the situation arises and you're no longer afforded the luxury of weighing your choices casually. The book peels away the bullshit you see in most martial arts and self defense books. It doesn't try to tell you that of course if an attacker comes at you with a knife you can just do this handy judo throw, shown in eight easy steps and incapacitate your opponent (who will only really be thrown to the ground, and if he wants to hurt you will be right back up to do it).
This review probably isn't doing too much to make you want to read it, but it's really quite a great book. Maybe you need to spend way too much of your free time thinking about fighting to enjoy it, but I think it's well written enough, funny enough and told with an engaging enough style that even people who don't spend most of their time at work thinking about how effective different striking combinations really are, and what would be the best thing to do if non-threatening customers suddenly turned threatening could enjoy it.
Plus, Sam Harris thinks it's a great book.
*Two people of equal skill fighting, the fast kick will be faster, especially if the attacker is throwing this kick. Responding to any attack takes some time, and an ax kick is an unwieldy attack. Even if you were skilled at it, the time it would take to get your leg up into the air to complete the arc to bring down on your opponent would be more than enough time for the attacker to land his attack.
I've thought about this 'move' quite a bit, mostly because I've been trying to figure out how it could work. I can't get it to. The only thing I can think is that a fast kick is relatively low-power, but it doesn't need to be. I've seen some advance TKD people throw some very powerful kicks, ones that could knock you over, especially if you are now standing on one foot and need to have balance to keep necessary power generation to deliver a blow that would shatter someone's collarbone.
Instead I started to think of what I would do if I were starting to kick someone and they went to respond with a possibly bone breaking ax kick. The best answer I can come up with is mid kick turn the 'fast kick' into a rainbow kick (I'm not making these names up (a rainbow kick is sort of like the ax kick, but it's from the roundhouse kick, but instead of going straight at the target, you sort of jerk your hips and send the kick chopping downwards, ideally right above or into your opponent's knee), and chop his one leg right out from under him. Then when he's on the ground, if you're not feeling sporting, deliver some soccer kicks to the head and body until he is no longer a threat.
**Not to be too hasty. Two evenings later I was at work and Karen told a customer that sitting on the floor isn't allowed. He said something to her, and I could only sort of hear it and I turned around to look at him, sitting there on the ground about ten feet away from me, and he gave me one of those stupid tough guy 'hard' stares. I laughed a bit to myself, a bit out loud as I walked away from him. I'm not interested in playing what the author of this book calls the Monkey Dance, you know the ritual chest pumping bullshit that guys engage in. It goes something like, stare, then what are you looking at, some other words, maybe light chest bumping and then maybe if the people watching the cretins doing this nonsense are lucky they would be rewarded with getting to see some fisticuffs, but it doesn't get to this point that often. I find the idea of engaging in bullshit like that to be embarrassing. If I were so inclined to take the stare as a threat that needed to be responded to, and if I didn't mind losing my job, my answer would have been to attack while the dumbass is in a very weak offensive position and where the fight could be won with minimal risk of bodily injury to myself. In this situation I would probably have all the time I needed to put him in some fancy move and maybe impress the one person in a hundred that might see this and admire my technique and not be aghast at what a sociopath I was acting like for attacking someone who only gave me a dirty look.
July 14, 2008
I first became aware of Rory Miller when he started posting on the Uechi-Ryu.Com forums several years ago (or maybe he was posting there first, and then I started; I can’t really remember). I was, at the time, a youthful aspiring martial arts instructor, just having gotten involved in Tony Blauer’s Personal Defense Readiness program, a new black belt in Aikido, and a student of a fraudulent and abusive kung fu instructor (though obviously I didn’t know it at the time). I thought I knew a lot more than I did, though I also knew there was a lot left for me to learn. Rory, I knew jack squat about, but I eventually learned that he was (and is) a correctional officer out in Oregon, with a lot of martial arts experience, and a WHOLE lot of experience dealing with violent criminals. Rory and I had a few chats back and forth on the fora – I doubt he remembers most, if any of them. I do, because it became clear pretty quickly that he knew way more about what I was trying to talk about than I did. I think a lot of those threads are gone with the shifting of the forums, which is kind of sad, mostly for me.
In any case, I’ve tried to pay attention to what Rory had to say ever since then. I read his blog regularly (and it’s one of the few websites that I’ve bothered to link to on here), and I follow whatever he’s got to say on the forums with interest that I reserve for few others there. When he announced that he was publishing a book, I was intrigued.
When the reviews started rolling in, I was excited.
It actually took me two tries to get my hands on this book—the first time, my package disappeared, a pattern that repeated itself with a different Amazon order a few weeks later. Amazon replaced it, and I was delighted to see that it arrived before my weekend trip to Austin. So I opened the box up, and packed up this book along with my other belongings for the weekend trip. I didn’t really plan on finishing it, but I found I couldn’t the book down.
Meditations on Violence is a collection of thoughts, observations, and insights from Miller’s years of martial arts training and exposure to real violence and real criminals. It’s a short text, coming it at under 200 pages, but those 200 pages are packed with good information on a wide variety of topics, including the criminal mind, the complexities of real world violence, ideas about training methods and the aftermath of violence. All of it is information that is valuable for anyone who is interested in, or concerned about, self-defense. I absolutely loved the chapter on “how to think”, in which Miller does a fantastic job of laying out how to scratch your own mental programming and really examine not only what you believe, but why you believe it.
Miller has a very calm, introspective, but casual writing style. I really enjoy it—it almost feels like I’m sitting around having a conversation with him, instead of reading words on a page. He uses a lot of stories and analogies to help illustrate his examples, which resonates with my own learning style, and I think makes things a lot more memorable. It also helps that he frequently can attach a personal experience to his ideas, which lends a lot of credibility to his thoughts and concepts.
He does not present himself as a know-it-all; indeed, he makes it quite clear that there’s a lot he doesn’t know (including how to ride a motorcycle, I think). It doesn’t matter. The best thing that this book does is that it makes you think. It will force you to really, really, examine your training. It may even make you examine your lifestyle. For me, it has done both. If nothing else, I’ll look at the bibliographies of books a lot more than I used to.
This is not a book of techniques—someone looking for another wrist-lock variation or a different take on how to throw a punch may not get much out of this. Someone looking to enhance their safety and survivability will find it invaluable.
I do not, as of yet, have a “required reading” list for my students, but the day I put one together, this will unquestionably be on it.
In any case, I’ve tried to pay attention to what Rory had to say ever since then. I read his blog regularly (and it’s one of the few websites that I’ve bothered to link to on here), and I follow whatever he’s got to say on the forums with interest that I reserve for few others there. When he announced that he was publishing a book, I was intrigued.
When the reviews started rolling in, I was excited.
It actually took me two tries to get my hands on this book—the first time, my package disappeared, a pattern that repeated itself with a different Amazon order a few weeks later. Amazon replaced it, and I was delighted to see that it arrived before my weekend trip to Austin. So I opened the box up, and packed up this book along with my other belongings for the weekend trip. I didn’t really plan on finishing it, but I found I couldn’t the book down.
Meditations on Violence is a collection of thoughts, observations, and insights from Miller’s years of martial arts training and exposure to real violence and real criminals. It’s a short text, coming it at under 200 pages, but those 200 pages are packed with good information on a wide variety of topics, including the criminal mind, the complexities of real world violence, ideas about training methods and the aftermath of violence. All of it is information that is valuable for anyone who is interested in, or concerned about, self-defense. I absolutely loved the chapter on “how to think”, in which Miller does a fantastic job of laying out how to scratch your own mental programming and really examine not only what you believe, but why you believe it.
Miller has a very calm, introspective, but casual writing style. I really enjoy it—it almost feels like I’m sitting around having a conversation with him, instead of reading words on a page. He uses a lot of stories and analogies to help illustrate his examples, which resonates with my own learning style, and I think makes things a lot more memorable. It also helps that he frequently can attach a personal experience to his ideas, which lends a lot of credibility to his thoughts and concepts.
He does not present himself as a know-it-all; indeed, he makes it quite clear that there’s a lot he doesn’t know (including how to ride a motorcycle, I think). It doesn’t matter. The best thing that this book does is that it makes you think. It will force you to really, really, examine your training. It may even make you examine your lifestyle. For me, it has done both. If nothing else, I’ll look at the bibliographies of books a lot more than I used to.
This is not a book of techniques—someone looking for another wrist-lock variation or a different take on how to throw a punch may not get much out of this. Someone looking to enhance their safety and survivability will find it invaluable.
I do not, as of yet, have a “required reading” list for my students, but the day I put one together, this will unquestionably be on it.
October 4, 2012
This book was recommended on Amazon for people who liked THE GIFT OF FEAR, and since my library didn't have it, I took a chance and bought a copy. Wow. It's completely changed the way I feel about my martial arts training. Some of the writing is a little blocky, but he covers important factors of violence that are never discussed in the dojo.
Most importantly, I think, Sgt. Miller talks about the effects that stress hormones have on the human body, and how they make you behave. These behaviors (freezing, etc.) are useful for people being attacked by a tiger, but not for someone who needs to defend himself or herself. He talks about the patterns of fights, and how you can disrupt those patterns to defend yourself. He also reiterates some of what De Becker said in THE GIFT OF FEAR in that bad things happen in bad places, by bad people, and that 90% of self defense is avoiding the bad places and the bad people.
Miller also discusses the different types of fighting, and why they occur. He's got a rather confusing chart, but he discusses the difference between winning an MMA championship and combat. The sport fighter will get a good night's sleep Wednesday night so he'll be at his top form to face the opponent on Thursday. If a combat soldier knows there's going to be a fight on Thursday, he attacks while the opponent is sleeping on Tuesday night. He talks about non-lethal fights for male dominance (he calls it the monkey dance; I've heard it called the antler dance) that are what people think of when they usually think of winning a fight. This is the "are you looking at me, punk?" that stupid people do in bars.
The part of this book that kept me up at night were the real-life anecdotes of fights that Sgt. Miller has been in. He works in a jail, and has dealt with everything from stone-cold psychopaths to drugged out junkies to common thugs. The things he deals with on a daily basis are not the sort of things I want to ever deal with. The stories, and the few black-and-white photographs, paint a bleak picture that you don't get from the media.
Miller goes way beyond discrediting waif-fu, and talks about how ridiculous and impractical most of the martial arts are. He has some harsh (but probably accurate) criticisms of martial arts. Without naming names, he criticizes many, many martial arts on many different levels. Here are some examples: Learning to pull your punches is the same as practicing missing. Being told that a certain lock is inescapable just cements lies and helplessness (many so-called inescapable locks are quite escapable). Practicing attacks from only a certain distance with a certain stance is unrealistic, as a real attack may never occur that way (and attacks are unpredictable). He also offers suggestions for how to train for a real attack.
I'm going to be thinking about this book for a long time.
Most importantly, I think, Sgt. Miller talks about the effects that stress hormones have on the human body, and how they make you behave. These behaviors (freezing, etc.) are useful for people being attacked by a tiger, but not for someone who needs to defend himself or herself. He talks about the patterns of fights, and how you can disrupt those patterns to defend yourself. He also reiterates some of what De Becker said in THE GIFT OF FEAR in that bad things happen in bad places, by bad people, and that 90% of self defense is avoiding the bad places and the bad people.
Miller also discusses the different types of fighting, and why they occur. He's got a rather confusing chart, but he discusses the difference between winning an MMA championship and combat. The sport fighter will get a good night's sleep Wednesday night so he'll be at his top form to face the opponent on Thursday. If a combat soldier knows there's going to be a fight on Thursday, he attacks while the opponent is sleeping on Tuesday night. He talks about non-lethal fights for male dominance (he calls it the monkey dance; I've heard it called the antler dance) that are what people think of when they usually think of winning a fight. This is the "are you looking at me, punk?" that stupid people do in bars.
The part of this book that kept me up at night were the real-life anecdotes of fights that Sgt. Miller has been in. He works in a jail, and has dealt with everything from stone-cold psychopaths to drugged out junkies to common thugs. The things he deals with on a daily basis are not the sort of things I want to ever deal with. The stories, and the few black-and-white photographs, paint a bleak picture that you don't get from the media.
Miller goes way beyond discrediting waif-fu, and talks about how ridiculous and impractical most of the martial arts are. He has some harsh (but probably accurate) criticisms of martial arts. Without naming names, he criticizes many, many martial arts on many different levels. Here are some examples: Learning to pull your punches is the same as practicing missing. Being told that a certain lock is inescapable just cements lies and helplessness (many so-called inescapable locks are quite escapable). Practicing attacks from only a certain distance with a certain stance is unrealistic, as a real attack may never occur that way (and attacks are unpredictable). He also offers suggestions for how to train for a real attack.
I'm going to be thinking about this book for a long time.
October 14, 2017
Once again, quick establishing of bias; I am friends with the author. That doesn't change my opinion of his work, considering I became a fan of his writings before I had the good fortune to meet him.
Before I picked it up, I'd heard that Meditations on Violence was required reading for several specialist branches of law enforcement, and could be found on the bookshelves of many martial arts dojos.
After reading, I can see why.
In a concise, clear and often glibly humorous style, Miller breaks down the fundamentals of martial arts and actual violence; where MA training is an advantage, how and where it isn't, how training can be improved to be more "street effective", and so on. There is also a section on criminals, one on predatory behavior, another on how fiction/Hollywood myths distort our perceptions, and a big one on the aftermath of an assault and how to deal with it, one on the effects of adrenaline on training (short answer; it sucks unless you handle it right), all shot through with occasional reminisces about his career as a corrections officer.
(A big piece of praise on that last; Miller doesn't go off on how much of a "bad ass" he is. Rather, most of the stories are either to illustrate a point, be funny, or are times where matters didn't proceed according to spec. A big way to tell the real deal from wanna-bes in MA/SD writing is to look for authors who can admit they've had their asses kicked.)
For some people, Meditations will be a difficult book to get through. Miller writes from years of experience, and as such a good deal of what he has to say flies in the face of conventional wisdom - sometimes to a shocking degree.
While Miller never devolves into the rude macho arrogance so prevalent in self-defense books (indeed he straight-up says at the beginning to be "skeptical as hell" about his writing) some of what he says comes across as harsh...to the point where I can imagine a few politically-minded readers (as well as some serious martial arts enthusiasts) might toss it aside in disgust. People don't enjoy having their 'sacred cows' barbecued, and Miller is not afraid to call bullshit where he sees bullshit.
I would suggest remembering that the book was written from the perspective of an individual who has seen and dealt with more predators, criminality, violence and bloodshed than most would-be "experts" have lied about, and that other legitimate experts in his "weight class" routinely cite his work in their own. If one comes across a statement about violence in Meditations that is contrariwise to "common wisdom", I'd go with Miller over what "everybody" thinks. Most of "everybody" didn't spend fifteen years getting into a dozen hand-to-hand encounters with jacked-up felons a week.
Furthermore (and here's where knowing the author is a boon), I've spoken at length with Miller on his beliefs and motivations for writing his books, and it really is to make sure people like you and me don't die messy, wet red deaths in an alleyway somewhere because we did something stupid. A lot of MA instructors are out to make a buck and either don't know or worse don't care if what they're teaching their students will actually work or not. Thanks to his rather unique set of experiences and training, Miller has a good head for what works (if he didn't, he wouldn't be here) and wants to share - so again, folks like you and me die less often.
In the end, I would recommend Meditations to:
-Serious martial-arts students who want to add another dimension to their understanding of the art
-Martial-arts instructors looking to improve the quality of their instruction
-Citizens interested in martial-arts for self defense, so that they can know quality MA training when they see it and avoid bad training (which is worse than no training at all)
-Authors who want a better understanding of violence and crime so they can write both more effectively
-Abuse survivors trying to understand just what the hell it was that happened to them
Before I picked it up, I'd heard that Meditations on Violence was required reading for several specialist branches of law enforcement, and could be found on the bookshelves of many martial arts dojos.
After reading, I can see why.
In a concise, clear and often glibly humorous style, Miller breaks down the fundamentals of martial arts and actual violence; where MA training is an advantage, how and where it isn't, how training can be improved to be more "street effective", and so on. There is also a section on criminals, one on predatory behavior, another on how fiction/Hollywood myths distort our perceptions, and a big one on the aftermath of an assault and how to deal with it, one on the effects of adrenaline on training (short answer; it sucks unless you handle it right), all shot through with occasional reminisces about his career as a corrections officer.
(A big piece of praise on that last; Miller doesn't go off on how much of a "bad ass" he is. Rather, most of the stories are either to illustrate a point, be funny, or are times where matters didn't proceed according to spec. A big way to tell the real deal from wanna-bes in MA/SD writing is to look for authors who can admit they've had their asses kicked.)
For some people, Meditations will be a difficult book to get through. Miller writes from years of experience, and as such a good deal of what he has to say flies in the face of conventional wisdom - sometimes to a shocking degree.
While Miller never devolves into the rude macho arrogance so prevalent in self-defense books (indeed he straight-up says at the beginning to be "skeptical as hell" about his writing) some of what he says comes across as harsh...to the point where I can imagine a few politically-minded readers (as well as some serious martial arts enthusiasts) might toss it aside in disgust. People don't enjoy having their 'sacred cows' barbecued, and Miller is not afraid to call bullshit where he sees bullshit.
I would suggest remembering that the book was written from the perspective of an individual who has seen and dealt with more predators, criminality, violence and bloodshed than most would-be "experts" have lied about, and that other legitimate experts in his "weight class" routinely cite his work in their own. If one comes across a statement about violence in Meditations that is contrariwise to "common wisdom", I'd go with Miller over what "everybody" thinks. Most of "everybody" didn't spend fifteen years getting into a dozen hand-to-hand encounters with jacked-up felons a week.
Furthermore (and here's where knowing the author is a boon), I've spoken at length with Miller on his beliefs and motivations for writing his books, and it really is to make sure people like you and me don't die messy, wet red deaths in an alleyway somewhere because we did something stupid. A lot of MA instructors are out to make a buck and either don't know or worse don't care if what they're teaching their students will actually work or not. Thanks to his rather unique set of experiences and training, Miller has a good head for what works (if he didn't, he wouldn't be here) and wants to share - so again, folks like you and me die less often.
In the end, I would recommend Meditations to:
-Serious martial-arts students who want to add another dimension to their understanding of the art
-Martial-arts instructors looking to improve the quality of their instruction
-Citizens interested in martial-arts for self defense, so that they can know quality MA training when they see it and avoid bad training (which is worse than no training at all)
-Authors who want a better understanding of violence and crime so they can write both more effectively
-Abuse survivors trying to understand just what the hell it was that happened to them
August 10, 2015
"Never, ever, ever ignore what your eyes see because it isn’t what you imagined. And strive to always know the difference between what your eyes are seeing and what your brain is adding."
I have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand I loved the discussion it creates around real, and imagined violence. On the other the author seems of a contradictory mindset; I'll talk about that in a moment but first the things I liked. I loved that he strongly urges readers to understand the difference between real violence and the kinds of violence portrayed in movies, books, and other entertainment. They are fundamentally different on every level and one of my favorites ways that he points this out is what he calls the violence matrix. He represents a very broad category of the the types of violence with three types of preparation (none, slight warning, time to prepare), and the desired level of harm (none (playful), potential injury (training), and potentially lethal). While very general it does do a good job of showing how not all violence is that same, and we can't apply the same response to each case.
I also really enjoyed how he encouraged the reader to not because so "stuck" in a method of training that they no longer evaluate its effectiveness. As an example; if your training regiment always assumes you are aware and prepared for your attacker, what will you do in the case of a surprise attack. If it is not something that you have practiced for you WILL be unprepared.
What really made this book difficult for me to really enjoy was the constant contradictions of the author and the almost fatalistic attitude he adopts. Many times in the book he would repeat his semi-mantra that most drills are ineffective as they don't adequately prepare you for a real life scenario; and then immediately suggests several drills. He also writes the book with the apparent intention to help you prepare of unexpected violence but, on occasions, will bring up a scenario, say it is terrible, and then really offer no suggestion of how to respond to it.
Finally, he adopts a very fatalistic view of life towards the end of the book. I find it very odd that someone who devotes an exceptional portion of their life to teaching others how to prevent terrible things from happening to them, or responding when they do, believes that none of it really matters. He also attributes quite a bit to luck. This too seems quite contrary to the mentality of most self defense instructors I know.
While I did like this book, and would recommend it to others, this recommendation would come with a disclaimer. If you have a hard time taking pieces of knowledge from a book and ignoring the non applicable pieces, I would pass on this book. In order to really get a lot out of it you need to already have a strong notion of what you believe about yourself and be willing to extract pieces of knowledge from the larger picture.
I have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand I loved the discussion it creates around real, and imagined violence. On the other the author seems of a contradictory mindset; I'll talk about that in a moment but first the things I liked. I loved that he strongly urges readers to understand the difference between real violence and the kinds of violence portrayed in movies, books, and other entertainment. They are fundamentally different on every level and one of my favorites ways that he points this out is what he calls the violence matrix. He represents a very broad category of the the types of violence with three types of preparation (none, slight warning, time to prepare), and the desired level of harm (none (playful), potential injury (training), and potentially lethal). While very general it does do a good job of showing how not all violence is that same, and we can't apply the same response to each case.
I also really enjoyed how he encouraged the reader to not because so "stuck" in a method of training that they no longer evaluate its effectiveness. As an example; if your training regiment always assumes you are aware and prepared for your attacker, what will you do in the case of a surprise attack. If it is not something that you have practiced for you WILL be unprepared.
What really made this book difficult for me to really enjoy was the constant contradictions of the author and the almost fatalistic attitude he adopts. Many times in the book he would repeat his semi-mantra that most drills are ineffective as they don't adequately prepare you for a real life scenario; and then immediately suggests several drills. He also writes the book with the apparent intention to help you prepare of unexpected violence but, on occasions, will bring up a scenario, say it is terrible, and then really offer no suggestion of how to respond to it.
Finally, he adopts a very fatalistic view of life towards the end of the book. I find it very odd that someone who devotes an exceptional portion of their life to teaching others how to prevent terrible things from happening to them, or responding when they do, believes that none of it really matters. He also attributes quite a bit to luck. This too seems quite contrary to the mentality of most self defense instructors I know.
While I did like this book, and would recommend it to others, this recommendation would come with a disclaimer. If you have a hard time taking pieces of knowledge from a book and ignoring the non applicable pieces, I would pass on this book. In order to really get a lot out of it you need to already have a strong notion of what you believe about yourself and be willing to extract pieces of knowledge from the larger picture.
January 11, 2023
This book might be the best book I have ever read about violence and the psychology behind violence. It is very refreshing to see someone write about the true impact fighting has and also why some fighting techniques are just worthless when it comes to a true violent situation. It is one of a kind in his own way and I would recommend it to everyone who does a fighting sport or who is just interested in the psychology behind violence.
April 13, 2022
This book is a real bang for the buck ! A mind bending perspective on violence , criminal activity , self defense. This piece does not only tackle the misgivings of self defense in all its plethora of forms and variations , but it goes deeper , it challenges the reader on his own perception about life and conflict, about what you are capable of doing. Psichological implications checked , philosophical ones checked , society checked.
Awesome read. I recommend it to anyone intrigued or wanting to know more about the mechanics, dynamics and complexity of violence.
Awesome read. I recommend it to anyone intrigued or wanting to know more about the mechanics, dynamics and complexity of violence.
February 3, 2010
I think Miller's book offers what the title promises, but it could've been a lot better. One of the book's strengths is in its advice on how to not act/look like a victim, to stay alert and assess threats wherever you go. It might feel weird at first, but it's good practice for anyone but the inveterate homebody.
While I think this book had some valuable insights, the author's posturing really started to get to me by the end. The subtitle suggests that this book is a thoughtful comparison of the sometimes graceful (though rarely practical) martial arts and the reality of brutal street violence. Miller's book does this very well in small doses, but overall he seems much more interested in letting the reader know what a badass he is. He's had knives pulled on him 5 times and hasn't gotten a scratch, he can take down Navy Seals, UFC fighters, and PCP freaks, he's never lost a fight to an inmate...enough. If I wanted to hear that kind of self-aggrandizing BS I'd watch WWE or listen to rap. If you've been a prison guard for over a decade, I get it--you're a tough guy. Get on with the advice.
The bibliography is pretty good, and that's what pushes me to give it a smidgen of a "liked it."
While I think this book had some valuable insights, the author's posturing really started to get to me by the end. The subtitle suggests that this book is a thoughtful comparison of the sometimes graceful (though rarely practical) martial arts and the reality of brutal street violence. Miller's book does this very well in small doses, but overall he seems much more interested in letting the reader know what a badass he is. He's had knives pulled on him 5 times and hasn't gotten a scratch, he can take down Navy Seals, UFC fighters, and PCP freaks, he's never lost a fight to an inmate...enough. If I wanted to hear that kind of self-aggrandizing BS I'd watch WWE or listen to rap. If you've been a prison guard for over a decade, I get it--you're a tough guy. Get on with the advice.
The bibliography is pretty good, and that's what pushes me to give it a smidgen of a "liked it."
June 6, 2016
My friend chose this book for our reading group because we are also all writers--and she thought it would help us to write more realistic fight scenes. Here are some of my reactions to this book, in no particular order:
* After reading it, I do feel more prepared to write realistic fight scenes.
* It was very disturbing.
* It was also very interesting. I was surprised to find that I couldn't put it down.
* There were a lot of insights that really rang true to me, even though they challenged my assumptions.
* I thought it was going to be more about martial arts and less about violence. I thought it was going to be about finding enlightenment. I was *wrong*. It is about surviving.
* I felt grateful to the author, who interacts with the dark side of our world, a place that is really foreign to me--thanks to him.
* I don't think I could give myself permission to follow the author's advice, even though I think it is totally justified.
Thanks Michelle for the recommendation and for letting me borrow your copy.
* After reading it, I do feel more prepared to write realistic fight scenes.
* It was very disturbing.
* It was also very interesting. I was surprised to find that I couldn't put it down.
* There were a lot of insights that really rang true to me, even though they challenged my assumptions.
* I thought it was going to be more about martial arts and less about violence. I thought it was going to be about finding enlightenment. I was *wrong*. It is about surviving.
* I felt grateful to the author, who interacts with the dark side of our world, a place that is really foreign to me--thanks to him.
* I don't think I could give myself permission to follow the author's advice, even though I think it is totally justified.
Thanks Michelle for the recommendation and for letting me borrow your copy.
Read
October 15, 2020Short version: wow. Longer version with quotes and whatnot: https://darkscience.eu/posts/meditati...
July 9, 2010
This is very much a one-man meditation on experience with real violence against the stories and trainings of various martial arts. Miller is a prison guard and has seen a lot of real violence and people who have committed it on a regular basis, and this book is entirely about both the validity and doubt that one should use to regard anything one is taught.
I like that he talks about the blind spots of various methods of training, and what various martial arts are good for. I love that he starts with the caution that personal experience should trump anything any 'expert' says, and starts with saying that the most important skill is to be able to see what is actually there. Not what one wishes might be there, planned to have there, or what one expects to be there. To simply see and respond to what actually exists, and that so few people seem to be able to do it after being attacked.
In complete contrast to "On Killing" there are no experimental statistics, only personal experience and opinion.
I also loved that for 99% of the book Miller shies away from anything even approaching spiritual or metaphysical like a Good American Male, and then in the last few pages of the book writes down the thing I'll probably treasure the most.
I also really loved his analogy that real violence is like a rhinoceros, of which very very little is known about in the wild by anyone. Whereas popular opinion of violence is like the unicorn, which is entirely mythical, but everyone *knows* that a unicorn has goat's feet, a single horn, is attracted to virgins, etc. etc. Just like many of the things people "know" about violence are just dead wrong as they learned it all from comics, movies, news media, teachers of martial arts that have no personal experience, or stories.
A warning, there is a lot of very explicit description of violence and the results of violence. But he does his best to tell it straight, not as lurid entertainment, but always to prove a point specific to his arguments. And he has some very, very strong (and to my mind very GOOD) opinions about what to do in certain very real situations, especially lots of good advice on how to avoid violence all together. I like his opinion that self-defense is all really about getting away with the least damage possible when you've already screwed.
I like that he talks about the blind spots of various methods of training, and what various martial arts are good for. I love that he starts with the caution that personal experience should trump anything any 'expert' says, and starts with saying that the most important skill is to be able to see what is actually there. Not what one wishes might be there, planned to have there, or what one expects to be there. To simply see and respond to what actually exists, and that so few people seem to be able to do it after being attacked.
In complete contrast to "On Killing" there are no experimental statistics, only personal experience and opinion.
I also loved that for 99% of the book Miller shies away from anything even approaching spiritual or metaphysical like a Good American Male, and then in the last few pages of the book writes down the thing I'll probably treasure the most.
I also really loved his analogy that real violence is like a rhinoceros, of which very very little is known about in the wild by anyone. Whereas popular opinion of violence is like the unicorn, which is entirely mythical, but everyone *knows* that a unicorn has goat's feet, a single horn, is attracted to virgins, etc. etc. Just like many of the things people "know" about violence are just dead wrong as they learned it all from comics, movies, news media, teachers of martial arts that have no personal experience, or stories.
A warning, there is a lot of very explicit description of violence and the results of violence. But he does his best to tell it straight, not as lurid entertainment, but always to prove a point specific to his arguments. And he has some very, very strong (and to my mind very GOOD) opinions about what to do in certain very real situations, especially lots of good advice on how to avoid violence all together. I like his opinion that self-defense is all really about getting away with the least damage possible when you've already screwed.
August 21, 2017
Good not great
I take martial arts and have developed a slight interest in self-defense. Enjoyed Miller's perspective in this book. Easy read. Miller shares his real world, bare knuckle experience in law enforcement and as a prison guard.
Bottom line is avoidance is the best self-defense strategy. Stay away from sketchy people and sketchy places. Know what to look for and trust your intuition. Also, adrenaline will dampen the benefits of training in attack mode, assuming the rare occurrence that the attack is of the sort our training is even helpful to thwart. So, again, just avoid the prospect of a violent encounters. And don't think violence is like a movie or TV show. Don't be stupid and think you are Bruce Lee. Real violence plays for keeps. Better to run than fight. The End.
I think living in constant awareness that there is a theoretical chance of becoming a victim is a screwed up way to live. Be smart not paranoid. But self-defense industry needs us scared. Rory Miller is part of that industry and even so, there is much value in the experiences of Miller.
I take martial arts and have developed a slight interest in self-defense. Enjoyed Miller's perspective in this book. Easy read. Miller shares his real world, bare knuckle experience in law enforcement and as a prison guard.
Bottom line is avoidance is the best self-defense strategy. Stay away from sketchy people and sketchy places. Know what to look for and trust your intuition. Also, adrenaline will dampen the benefits of training in attack mode, assuming the rare occurrence that the attack is of the sort our training is even helpful to thwart. So, again, just avoid the prospect of a violent encounters. And don't think violence is like a movie or TV show. Don't be stupid and think you are Bruce Lee. Real violence plays for keeps. Better to run than fight. The End.
I think living in constant awareness that there is a theoretical chance of becoming a victim is a screwed up way to live. Be smart not paranoid. But self-defense industry needs us scared. Rory Miller is part of that industry and even so, there is much value in the experiences of Miller.
April 4, 2020
This book was a fun read but the author is annoyingly egotistic and continually uses stories to brag about how awesome he is. He also makes a lot of wild claims but rarely references sources for these claims about the general population. With that said, he has a LOT of really interesting stories about violence which makes up for all of his bragging. I also liked that he did not hold back when explaining some of the horrendous crimes he has heard of. This is not a book for people who want to stay ignorant to how dark and f'ed up some humans can actually be.
April 13, 2014
For all the practical advice, the pseudo-macho posturing is too much. I get it, dude -- you are a BAMFer. If you've been a prison guard for as long as you have, and you can "take down any mixed martial artist in the world", that's as grand as a cupcake, but it gets to the point where the reader just sighs and starts thinking about what dinner's going to be.
October 4, 2020
One big self congratulatory marathon on how much tougher the author considers himself over martial artists. Veiled through a facade of pseudo "bro" wisdom.
November 4, 2018
First I must thank Sam Harris for recommending this book.
This book is incredible. I am trying to find other words right now but can’t. So much to think about. So much to follow up on.
I keep trying to find a way to sum this book up in a way that does it justice. I can’t do it. Just read it. Hopefully you get out of it what I did. If not, then I am sorry, you wasted a few hours. There are worse things.
This book is incredible. I am trying to find other words right now but can’t. So much to think about. So much to follow up on.
I keep trying to find a way to sum this book up in a way that does it justice. I can’t do it. Just read it. Hopefully you get out of it what I did. If not, then I am sorry, you wasted a few hours. There are worse things.
March 3, 2022
¿Podré?
Si puedo, ¿como?
¿Y quien seré?
¿Que debo ser para protejer mi vida, mi familia, mis valores?
Muy pocas preguntas son tan importantes como estas. Estudiar la violencia es estudiar las relaciones humanas y este libro explica de forma simple y magistral como es la violencia entre humanos.
Si puedo, ¿como?
¿Y quien seré?
¿Que debo ser para protejer mi vida, mi familia, mis valores?
Muy pocas preguntas son tan importantes como estas. Estudiar la violencia es estudiar las relaciones humanas y este libro explica de forma simple y magistral como es la violencia entre humanos.
September 9, 2020
Often times, self-defence training fails to accommodate the unpredictability of potential hazards. Martial arts practices can be overly geared toward competitive performance, which can cause them to lose sight of real-life applications. This book consolidates essential fighting basics with the reality of the street. Even though Miller emphasizes astute coordination to ensure the debilitation of aggressors, he never appears to lack compassion for the people involved. The statistics may be unsettling, but the information can instigate revelations within any security professional’s daily regimen.
May 13, 2016
3,5 stars.
I have a hard time rating this book. Parts of it are amazing, offering an unflinching, naked look at the structure of violence and it's physical and psychological effects. The chapters about the different types and patterns of violence, the effect of the discharged neuro-chemical cocktail on victims of assault and the benefits and dangers of combat training are extremely informative and well worth reading.
I enjoyed Miller's voice - this is a seriously hardened guy who absolutely refuses to euphemise the effect of violence on his own life and the life of others.
He shares his experience and his deeply engrained world view without any qualms and hesitations, not bothering about pc attitudes and nuance. This is hard earned knowledge and he will impart it without compromise.
So you actually get a two for one with this book. A unique, honest, practical perspective on violence and an implicit character study of a man whose world view has been shaped and arguably skewed by over 20 years in maximum security corrections (among other occupations).
If you can deal with passages as cited below, this is a very interesting read:
Hustlers. By far the biggest population in jails today, hustlers are low-level street criminals: drug users, pushers, thieves, prostitutes, and robbers. Almost all are addicted to one or more drugs or just take any drugs that they can find, buy, or steal. Most gangbangers fall into this category, no matter how much they try to romanticize their image.
It is a subculture and a way of life. In the early 1980s as part of a sociology project, I spent a short time “being homeless”: living in shelters, eating at missions, and hustling. While Ronald Reagan was on TV saying that the homeless chose to be homeless, I was hearing the same thing from their lips.
I was told that any obligation— job, mortgage payment, or family— was a form of slavery . That only the homeless were truly free. That it was stupid to work when others were willing to and would give you money for the asking. There was no distinction between charities, panhandling, and government aid— the smart were given money, the stupid gave it.
There are many, many details that I could give you about this stratum of society. That would be a book in itself, and I recommend Beggars and Thieves by Mark S. Fleisher. In broad strokes, life is largely based around drugs and money for drugs. People who have never dealt with it often underestimate the power of addiction. Some addicts will and have killed, prostituted themselves and their children, betrayed family members, and sold children for enough drugs to get through the day.
Violence is common with this group for very logical reasons. They will fight to defend their territory and possessions because there is no other authority that will do so. They will use violence to secure drugs or money to get drugs. They will fight for reputation because a victim reputation will ensure future victimization. Most of the time, the violence is against other hustlers.
Citizens do not frequent the same places as hustlers. When they do, they are often healthier and stronger than the hustler… and the hustler finds guilt, intimidation, and smell to be as effective as violence, in most cases with far less risk.
[...]
Jail is a pit stop for this lifestyle. It is literally a necessary part of the life cycle. Fleisher made statements in his book that I checked later with the criminals in my custody. One of his statements was that hustlers rarely if ever are arrested and go to jail unless they want to. When they feel sick, extremely hungry, or cold, they will arrange to be seen doing a minor crime or picked up on a warrant sweep. In jail, they are cleaned up, given food and medical care and generally made healthy enough to continue their lifestyle. The choice to go to jail is a balancing act between wants, such as food, and fear of withdrawals.
You get the picture.
I have a hard time rating this book. Parts of it are amazing, offering an unflinching, naked look at the structure of violence and it's physical and psychological effects. The chapters about the different types and patterns of violence, the effect of the discharged neuro-chemical cocktail on victims of assault and the benefits and dangers of combat training are extremely informative and well worth reading.
I enjoyed Miller's voice - this is a seriously hardened guy who absolutely refuses to euphemise the effect of violence on his own life and the life of others.
He shares his experience and his deeply engrained world view without any qualms and hesitations, not bothering about pc attitudes and nuance. This is hard earned knowledge and he will impart it without compromise.
So you actually get a two for one with this book. A unique, honest, practical perspective on violence and an implicit character study of a man whose world view has been shaped and arguably skewed by over 20 years in maximum security corrections (among other occupations).
If you can deal with passages as cited below, this is a very interesting read:
Hustlers. By far the biggest population in jails today, hustlers are low-level street criminals: drug users, pushers, thieves, prostitutes, and robbers. Almost all are addicted to one or more drugs or just take any drugs that they can find, buy, or steal. Most gangbangers fall into this category, no matter how much they try to romanticize their image.
It is a subculture and a way of life. In the early 1980s as part of a sociology project, I spent a short time “being homeless”: living in shelters, eating at missions, and hustling. While Ronald Reagan was on TV saying that the homeless chose to be homeless, I was hearing the same thing from their lips.
I was told that any obligation— job, mortgage payment, or family— was a form of slavery . That only the homeless were truly free. That it was stupid to work when others were willing to and would give you money for the asking. There was no distinction between charities, panhandling, and government aid— the smart were given money, the stupid gave it.
There are many, many details that I could give you about this stratum of society. That would be a book in itself, and I recommend Beggars and Thieves by Mark S. Fleisher. In broad strokes, life is largely based around drugs and money for drugs. People who have never dealt with it often underestimate the power of addiction. Some addicts will and have killed, prostituted themselves and their children, betrayed family members, and sold children for enough drugs to get through the day.
Violence is common with this group for very logical reasons. They will fight to defend their territory and possessions because there is no other authority that will do so. They will use violence to secure drugs or money to get drugs. They will fight for reputation because a victim reputation will ensure future victimization. Most of the time, the violence is against other hustlers.
Citizens do not frequent the same places as hustlers. When they do, they are often healthier and stronger than the hustler… and the hustler finds guilt, intimidation, and smell to be as effective as violence, in most cases with far less risk.
[...]
Jail is a pit stop for this lifestyle. It is literally a necessary part of the life cycle. Fleisher made statements in his book that I checked later with the criminals in my custody. One of his statements was that hustlers rarely if ever are arrested and go to jail unless they want to. When they feel sick, extremely hungry, or cold, they will arrange to be seen doing a minor crime or picked up on a warrant sweep. In jail, they are cleaned up, given food and medical care and generally made healthy enough to continue their lifestyle. The choice to go to jail is a balancing act between wants, such as food, and fear of withdrawals.
You get the picture.
May 28, 2016
Wow, where to even begin.
It's tempting and easy to say this is a book about violence, but it's not. It's a book about the reality of of violence, how it plays out, our beliefs about it, the differences between those things, and the affect those differences have on our decision making.
In my teens I was involved with the Police Explorer program. As an adult I've been a correctional officer in the USMC, an armed security guard, a cab driver in a big city, and a licensed repossession agent. I've stepped into domestic disputes, I've been in bar fights and in general had more than my share of physical altercations. I have never seen a book that so accurately depicts the sages of those altercations. For me reading this book was transformative, suddenly I had names for things I'd seen an experienced but could never describe.
If that alone weren't enough to earn my respect, the book gives the most comprehensive, realistic evaluation of they types of violence, the possible responses, and the chances of success I've ever read.
The book has a lot of good things to say about training in the dojo, but it says nothing about technique, makes no recommendations about style, and this is how it should be. Mr. Miller's objective is to get the reader to understand that if they experience violence will be sudden, brutal, and not at all what they may have expected. There's no macho posturing here, no "Stand your ground" bullshit. At no point does Mr. Mill tell the reader not to run, in fact just the opposite.
At no point does Mr. Mill advocate, as some have, that you should pull a gun and insist on your right to be wherever you are. Your job is to avoid injury or death, not teach anyone a lession or up hold the social contract.
There are other, harder, truths...
Some of the things in this book made me very uncomfortable. I worked in corrections, and I have always believed in the concept of rehabilitation. Mr. Miller does not, and as he has a lot more experience than I do I'm inclined to give his opinion a lot of weight.
Read the book, I can't recommend it enough.
It's tempting and easy to say this is a book about violence, but it's not. It's a book about the reality of of violence, how it plays out, our beliefs about it, the differences between those things, and the affect those differences have on our decision making.
In my teens I was involved with the Police Explorer program. As an adult I've been a correctional officer in the USMC, an armed security guard, a cab driver in a big city, and a licensed repossession agent. I've stepped into domestic disputes, I've been in bar fights and in general had more than my share of physical altercations. I have never seen a book that so accurately depicts the sages of those altercations. For me reading this book was transformative, suddenly I had names for things I'd seen an experienced but could never describe.
If that alone weren't enough to earn my respect, the book gives the most comprehensive, realistic evaluation of they types of violence, the possible responses, and the chances of success I've ever read.
The book has a lot of good things to say about training in the dojo, but it says nothing about technique, makes no recommendations about style, and this is how it should be. Mr. Miller's objective is to get the reader to understand that if they experience violence will be sudden, brutal, and not at all what they may have expected. There's no macho posturing here, no "Stand your ground" bullshit. At no point does Mr. Mill tell the reader not to run, in fact just the opposite.
“It is better to avoid than to run, better to run than to de-escalate, better to de-escalate than to fight, better to fight than to die.”
― Rory Miller, Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected
At no point does Mr. Mill advocate, as some have, that you should pull a gun and insist on your right to be wherever you are. Your job is to avoid injury or death, not teach anyone a lession or up hold the social contract.
There are other, harder, truths...
“When I tell someone that the most important thing a young woman can do to avoid being raped is to avoid places with lots of young men (and if you absolutely have to go to those place, don't drink) the dumb responses range from: 'Girls have a right to have fun' to 'You're just blaming the victim' all the way up to the ludicrous, 'A woman should be able to walk naked into a biker bar and not be bothered.' These are political ideals. They might even be the way the world should work. They are not the way the world actually works. The responsibility for self-protection has to rest with the potential victim because the potential rapist has no interest whatsoever in her safety or rights. The potential victim is the one who cares.”
― Rory Miller, Violence: A Writer's Guide
Some of the things in this book made me very uncomfortable. I worked in corrections, and I have always believed in the concept of rehabilitation. Mr. Miller does not, and as he has a lot more experience than I do I'm inclined to give his opinion a lot of weight.
Read the book, I can't recommend it enough.
March 19, 2012
This is a fascinating look into the world of criminal violence from the standpoint of a corrections officer who is also a trained martial artist. He talks about the gap between a stylized fight and what a real fight looks like, and says there is really no better way to prepare for a fight than, well, to be in one. And since most of us will live our entire lives without actually getting into a real fight, most of us, including martial arts experts, are ill prepared to deal with it.
This book skims a variety of subjects, mostly because you can't cover an entire history of martial arts in one small volume, but he did give some great tips about self defense (using the pronoun "she" throughout the book, because let's face it, women are the ones who want to learn how to defend themselves). One of the most important things I took away from this book is that if you are going to fight, you have to do it with full commitment. If you're going to fight, you have to be committed to hurting somebody, to do damage serious enough to get away. And fighting should be your last option, because nobody is unchanged by violence. And if you can't handle the idea of hurting or killing somebody, you shouldn't be in a fight.
The other thing that I found interesting is that he talks about "freezing", very much like the book "The Unthinkable". When something happens that your brain can't process, you freeze, or you do dumb things, like try to get your overhead bags when the plane is on fire, or closing up your computer when you are on the 100th floor of the World Trade Center and a plane has just smashed into it. It's one of the problems with counseling rape victims--most rape victims will freeze and do nothing when they are attacked, and the idea that they could have defended themselves (an idea that may or may not be true) is torture on top of the physical and emotional repercussions of the act. He, like the author of 'The Unthinkable', says the only way to get through the frozen stage of a crises is to recognize that it is there and move through it. And the best way to do that, is, again, experience, which is too bad, because experience in this case means experiencing violence, which he says again and again is no fun.
I'd like my son to read this book somebody, only because he is turning into one of the people the author warns against--a kid who has a green belt in Tae Kwon Do and thinks a fight involves pads and legal kicks to the body. Nothing about crime is legal, and predators cheat. Important stuff to know.
In the end, though, this book actually made me feel better about the world we live in, just because he talked about how most people won't have to deal with the stuff that he deals with, and that the world is actually a safer place than it has been in a long time. And if a guy who can slam a PCP freak to the floor without even spilling a drop of coffee tells me the world is getting safer, I'm inclined to believe him. And thank my lucky stars he's the one protecting us.
This book skims a variety of subjects, mostly because you can't cover an entire history of martial arts in one small volume, but he did give some great tips about self defense (using the pronoun "she" throughout the book, because let's face it, women are the ones who want to learn how to defend themselves). One of the most important things I took away from this book is that if you are going to fight, you have to do it with full commitment. If you're going to fight, you have to be committed to hurting somebody, to do damage serious enough to get away. And fighting should be your last option, because nobody is unchanged by violence. And if you can't handle the idea of hurting or killing somebody, you shouldn't be in a fight.
The other thing that I found interesting is that he talks about "freezing", very much like the book "The Unthinkable". When something happens that your brain can't process, you freeze, or you do dumb things, like try to get your overhead bags when the plane is on fire, or closing up your computer when you are on the 100th floor of the World Trade Center and a plane has just smashed into it. It's one of the problems with counseling rape victims--most rape victims will freeze and do nothing when they are attacked, and the idea that they could have defended themselves (an idea that may or may not be true) is torture on top of the physical and emotional repercussions of the act. He, like the author of 'The Unthinkable', says the only way to get through the frozen stage of a crises is to recognize that it is there and move through it. And the best way to do that, is, again, experience, which is too bad, because experience in this case means experiencing violence, which he says again and again is no fun.
I'd like my son to read this book somebody, only because he is turning into one of the people the author warns against--a kid who has a green belt in Tae Kwon Do and thinks a fight involves pads and legal kicks to the body. Nothing about crime is legal, and predators cheat. Important stuff to know.
In the end, though, this book actually made me feel better about the world we live in, just because he talked about how most people won't have to deal with the stuff that he deals with, and that the world is actually a safer place than it has been in a long time. And if a guy who can slam a PCP freak to the floor without even spilling a drop of coffee tells me the world is getting safer, I'm inclined to believe him. And thank my lucky stars he's the one protecting us.
January 5, 2016
From the title and backtext, I was expecting a book discussing martial arts and movie violence and how they are different from real-world violence. I don't really buy into the "movie violence desensitizes you to real violence" line since my own (limited) experience with real violence has been entirely different in terms of how my body responds. I thought this book might support or refute my opinion and I was looking forward to finding out why.
This book does talk about the difference between martial arts and real violence, but it's from the perspective of a (local Portland) corrections officer who has faced real violence multiple times and trained in a number of martial arts. It's definitely focused on his own experience, and he admits that the kind of violence he's encountered in his job has been different from what many other people would experience. However, his thoughts on how martial arts really aren't like real violence are still informative and valid. In short, he's saying that martial arts don't prepare you for what leads up to violence, and that often violence doesn't occur under the kind of conditions that martial artists train in. It often doesn't involve much warning so you don't have time to prepare, and it doesn't occur at a nice sparring distance with only certain kinds of hits allowed.
Miller provides a lot of advice for trying to avoid violence entirely, or prevent a bad situation from getting worse, or even just to improve your odds of surviving a violent situation. His description of the male-status-seeking "Monkey Dance", the dangerous "Group Monkey Dance", and other situations are useful for understanding how violence happens. Some of Miller's descriptions of things he's seen happen or what criminals he's encountered have done are sad and sick, so I wouldn't recommend this to anyone sensitive to that kind of thing. But I think this kind of "wake up call" to what can happen in the real world is helpful.
This book does talk about the difference between martial arts and real violence, but it's from the perspective of a (local Portland) corrections officer who has faced real violence multiple times and trained in a number of martial arts. It's definitely focused on his own experience, and he admits that the kind of violence he's encountered in his job has been different from what many other people would experience. However, his thoughts on how martial arts really aren't like real violence are still informative and valid. In short, he's saying that martial arts don't prepare you for what leads up to violence, and that often violence doesn't occur under the kind of conditions that martial artists train in. It often doesn't involve much warning so you don't have time to prepare, and it doesn't occur at a nice sparring distance with only certain kinds of hits allowed.
Miller provides a lot of advice for trying to avoid violence entirely, or prevent a bad situation from getting worse, or even just to improve your odds of surviving a violent situation. His description of the male-status-seeking "Monkey Dance", the dangerous "Group Monkey Dance", and other situations are useful for understanding how violence happens. Some of Miller's descriptions of things he's seen happen or what criminals he's encountered have done are sad and sick, so I wouldn't recommend this to anyone sensitive to that kind of thing. But I think this kind of "wake up call" to what can happen in the real world is helpful.
February 1, 2018
Update: having reread this for the first time in at least five years, I'm surprised by just how many flaws I missed the first time. In no particular order:
- Even this early in his writing career he seems incapable of remembering that he has already told anecdotes in earlier chapters or of knowing when he has made his point; nobody should spend 40 pages restating the same assertion, much less one as easy to comprehend as "violence is different than media portrayals". Did he not have an editor?
- He apparently has a problem with teenagers being called "children" if a cop feels threatened by them? Why include that in the book? "And another thing that pisses me off"-type asides aren't good writing.
- Although he deserves credit for toning it down in comparison to MacYoung, his fondness for masturbatory self-mythologizing is deeply off-putting.
- For someone who spent decades in an Eastern martial art, he evidently thinks that the word "enlightenment" simply means "a profound experience" instead of something far more precise. This is remarkable because if you learn anything about the Dharma you'll trip over explanations that enlightenment is an experience of depersonalization.
- Although he is deeply critical of combat sports, he evidently has such a superficial knowledge of them that he believes concepts like rhythm and swarming are esoteric. It's kind of hilarious actually, seeing someone breathlessly awed by the idea that people in physical combat will match rhythms when this is something that even Joe Rogan knows.
- Even this early in his writing career he seems incapable of remembering that he has already told anecdotes in earlier chapters or of knowing when he has made his point; nobody should spend 40 pages restating the same assertion, much less one as easy to comprehend as "violence is different than media portrayals". Did he not have an editor?
- He apparently has a problem with teenagers being called "children" if a cop feels threatened by them? Why include that in the book? "And another thing that pisses me off"-type asides aren't good writing.
- Although he deserves credit for toning it down in comparison to MacYoung, his fondness for masturbatory self-mythologizing is deeply off-putting.
- For someone who spent decades in an Eastern martial art, he evidently thinks that the word "enlightenment" simply means "a profound experience" instead of something far more precise. This is remarkable because if you learn anything about the Dharma you'll trip over explanations that enlightenment is an experience of depersonalization.
- Although he is deeply critical of combat sports, he evidently has such a superficial knowledge of them that he believes concepts like rhythm and swarming are esoteric. It's kind of hilarious actually, seeing someone breathlessly awed by the idea that people in physical combat will match rhythms when this is something that even Joe Rogan knows.
July 30, 2010
Superb. This should be considered a companion volume to Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear. Like that book, Meditations on Violence offers a lot of sound information, well organized and clearly presented, about how to avoid dangerous people and situations as much as possible and cope with them most effectively when you can't avoid them. It debunks a lot of the hype we hear too often about the martial arts, showing how they can be of value and also the ways in which they don't prepare us. Based on my life experience as a retired Marine, psychotherapist, prison counselor, and survivor of some real-world violent encounters, it rings true to me.
The author's tone is serious, but not heavy or solemn, and it's easy to tell that he would be a lively and frequently funny conversationalist. This book, along with Mr. de Becker's, would be valuable reading for everyone entering adult life, and particularly for anyone who is more likely than average to face human predators because of age, gender, livelihood, living or work environment, or leisure activities.
The author's tone is serious, but not heavy or solemn, and it's easy to tell that he would be a lively and frequently funny conversationalist. This book, along with Mr. de Becker's, would be valuable reading for everyone entering adult life, and particularly for anyone who is more likely than average to face human predators because of age, gender, livelihood, living or work environment, or leisure activities.
March 16, 2013
I read this book because two different fiction authors I routinely read referenced it as having been useful in learning to write about violence. I thought this was an excellent book because it is thought provoking for two camps of people often in conflict regarding their view on violence. For the "soft-hearted liberal" this book makes a good point on how what can appear to be a clear cut case of police incompetence/brutality can be a, frankly, understandable biological, physiological, and psychological based reaction to experiencing real-life violence. For the gun advocate that thinks they'll protect themselves/their families, for the martial artist/boxer that thinks they can hold their own in a self-defense situation, for those confident that they would never be a coward when faced with violence, this honestly and harshly shines a light on the difference between the reality of violent encounters and how you think they will be. And more importantly, how dangerous buying into the fantasy of how you think you will react to violence is. Highly recommended.
February 17, 2018
Summary:
This book was recommended to my by a friend with a wonderful tea garden who is also trying to read more books. Most of the books he's picked up are non-fiction too and have some overlap with the areas I am trying to read more in.
This one doesn't necessarily fit into the areas I'm trying to read more of but I have read a few martial arts books, mostly on aikido, and was keen to hear more from an author who has dealt with violence as a constant throughout their life.
Personally, aggression and the resulting violence have always scared and bewildered me. I like action films and am appreciative of physical strength, agility and stamina, but don't see any merit in conflict. This always ring very true on the basketball court. I play in a low grade social comp where poor reffing and poor play leave room for violence to gain the edge. A few times this leads to an eye for an eye dynamic between players where they push the limits more and more throughout the game until a fight just about breaks out. Quite a few times this has lead to a concept discussed in this book called the monkey dance where males square up to each other, get close, usually issue a verbal challenge and finger poke. If this escalates, someone usually throws a punch. During a game, when this dance takes place I often find myself standing off to the side or back sheepishly while everyone else gets sucked into the dance. I usually feel embarrassed.
I think that's why I chose to do aikido as well, as far as martial arts go, it's not very violent. It's about meeting the energy of your opponent and, where possible, safely ending conflict for all involved. I know that in real conflict it would not hold up well due to the slow attacks, timed defences and unrealistic distance, but it did teach me some great skills and improve my physical fitness and flexibility. One lifelong skill I hope to carry through from aikido is break falling. At my peak, I could be thrown full force onto the ground and roll or spring right back up to attack again. I'd be able to keep that pace up for at least 30 minutes. Attack, get thrown, bounce, attack, get thrown and so on. To date this has helped me minimise or avoid injury in some other sporting contexts, but most of the time it's just a party trick.
Anyway, back to the book!
The author is an avid martial artist who has dabbled in judo, fencing, karate, tae kwon do, European weapons, jujitsu and more. However, the author's real martial expertise comes from serving as a corrections officer, having to maintain order among often violent and drug addled criminals.
This has led to an understanding of the disconnect between what you learn in the dojo and what happens in the real world. Violence is bigger than any of us, and bigger than one martial art. While we can learn lots of useful things through martial arts, do not expect them to adequately prepare you for real world violence.
The book works through musings on the language, dynamics, assumptions, perpetrators, practice, and after-effects of violence.
I recommend this book to anyone who has studied martial arts, has experienced violence or wishes to prepare for violence. It's dark, gritty and real, but a sharp reminder of what can happen.
The main message I took from this book is that even with martial arts experience, you're unlikely to be prepared for real world violence but there are steps you can take to give yourself the edge in these situations.
Some notable points:
- Different violent contexts require different skills, a sniper needs different skills to a cop who also needs different skills to a corrections officer. Violence is complicated.
- Lessons from life are gifts and they should not be ignored. Assumptions can work against us, so we need to be careful where our bias is and what assumptions we have regarding violence.
- There is a form of combative decision-making called the OODA loop. Observe. Orient. Decide. Act. When responding to violence, too much time can be spent in the middle two steps. Predicting what the threat will do in four moves is useless if the intervening three moves are stabs.
- The most fatal decision in an ambush is the "why" question. You can't wait for an answer to respond.
- To get around this analysis paralysis, create a meta-strategy for responding to certain stimulus. That you'll reflexively move towards that one response which decreases time wastes in the Orient and Decide phase. The sooner you get to Act, the better chance you have.
- The monkey dance is a biologically determined way to assert dominance and is designed to be nonlethal. Left unchecked, it moves to overt violence, but the patterns can be broken by appearing submissive, acting bored and thoughtful, acting very dominant to the point that engaging seems trivial and breaking or shifting the pattern of the dance in other ways.
- The basic truths of assault are that it will occur closer, faster, more suddenly and with more power than martial artists are used to or train for.
- In times of stress, hormones rush through our bodies, making us somewhat unreliable which decreases fine motor skills. There are a few seconds while these hormones, like adrenaline, rush into your system where you will have clarity. These scarce seconds should be used to maximum effect.
- Use of terrain is the highest order of defence because if you aren't there, you can't even get your feelings hurt.
- Establish a go button, and resolve to act ruthlessly and decisively if that button is pushed. The author's provided the following examples:
. I will always act if someone attempts to tie or handcuff me.
. If someone threatens a child with a weapon.
. If someone attempts rape.
. If someone tries to move me to a secondary crime scene.
. If a lone armed threat puts down his weapon and either the threat or the weapon is within arm's reach.
. If I see an exit and the threat is not focused on me.
- The golden rule of combat: Your most powerful weapon applied to your opponent's greatest vulnerability at his time of maximum imbalance. Power generation, targeting and timing.
This book was recommended to my by a friend with a wonderful tea garden who is also trying to read more books. Most of the books he's picked up are non-fiction too and have some overlap with the areas I am trying to read more in.
This one doesn't necessarily fit into the areas I'm trying to read more of but I have read a few martial arts books, mostly on aikido, and was keen to hear more from an author who has dealt with violence as a constant throughout their life.
Personally, aggression and the resulting violence have always scared and bewildered me. I like action films and am appreciative of physical strength, agility and stamina, but don't see any merit in conflict. This always ring very true on the basketball court. I play in a low grade social comp where poor reffing and poor play leave room for violence to gain the edge. A few times this leads to an eye for an eye dynamic between players where they push the limits more and more throughout the game until a fight just about breaks out. Quite a few times this has lead to a concept discussed in this book called the monkey dance where males square up to each other, get close, usually issue a verbal challenge and finger poke. If this escalates, someone usually throws a punch. During a game, when this dance takes place I often find myself standing off to the side or back sheepishly while everyone else gets sucked into the dance. I usually feel embarrassed.
I think that's why I chose to do aikido as well, as far as martial arts go, it's not very violent. It's about meeting the energy of your opponent and, where possible, safely ending conflict for all involved. I know that in real conflict it would not hold up well due to the slow attacks, timed defences and unrealistic distance, but it did teach me some great skills and improve my physical fitness and flexibility. One lifelong skill I hope to carry through from aikido is break falling. At my peak, I could be thrown full force onto the ground and roll or spring right back up to attack again. I'd be able to keep that pace up for at least 30 minutes. Attack, get thrown, bounce, attack, get thrown and so on. To date this has helped me minimise or avoid injury in some other sporting contexts, but most of the time it's just a party trick.
Anyway, back to the book!
The author is an avid martial artist who has dabbled in judo, fencing, karate, tae kwon do, European weapons, jujitsu and more. However, the author's real martial expertise comes from serving as a corrections officer, having to maintain order among often violent and drug addled criminals.
This has led to an understanding of the disconnect between what you learn in the dojo and what happens in the real world. Violence is bigger than any of us, and bigger than one martial art. While we can learn lots of useful things through martial arts, do not expect them to adequately prepare you for real world violence.
The book works through musings on the language, dynamics, assumptions, perpetrators, practice, and after-effects of violence.
I recommend this book to anyone who has studied martial arts, has experienced violence or wishes to prepare for violence. It's dark, gritty and real, but a sharp reminder of what can happen.
The main message I took from this book is that even with martial arts experience, you're unlikely to be prepared for real world violence but there are steps you can take to give yourself the edge in these situations.
Some notable points:
- Different violent contexts require different skills, a sniper needs different skills to a cop who also needs different skills to a corrections officer. Violence is complicated.
- Lessons from life are gifts and they should not be ignored. Assumptions can work against us, so we need to be careful where our bias is and what assumptions we have regarding violence.
- There is a form of combative decision-making called the OODA loop. Observe. Orient. Decide. Act. When responding to violence, too much time can be spent in the middle two steps. Predicting what the threat will do in four moves is useless if the intervening three moves are stabs.
- The most fatal decision in an ambush is the "why" question. You can't wait for an answer to respond.
- To get around this analysis paralysis, create a meta-strategy for responding to certain stimulus. That you'll reflexively move towards that one response which decreases time wastes in the Orient and Decide phase. The sooner you get to Act, the better chance you have.
- The monkey dance is a biologically determined way to assert dominance and is designed to be nonlethal. Left unchecked, it moves to overt violence, but the patterns can be broken by appearing submissive, acting bored and thoughtful, acting very dominant to the point that engaging seems trivial and breaking or shifting the pattern of the dance in other ways.
- The basic truths of assault are that it will occur closer, faster, more suddenly and with more power than martial artists are used to or train for.
- In times of stress, hormones rush through our bodies, making us somewhat unreliable which decreases fine motor skills. There are a few seconds while these hormones, like adrenaline, rush into your system where you will have clarity. These scarce seconds should be used to maximum effect.
- Use of terrain is the highest order of defence because if you aren't there, you can't even get your feelings hurt.
- Establish a go button, and resolve to act ruthlessly and decisively if that button is pushed. The author's provided the following examples:
. I will always act if someone attempts to tie or handcuff me.
. If someone threatens a child with a weapon.
. If someone attempts rape.
. If someone tries to move me to a secondary crime scene.
. If a lone armed threat puts down his weapon and either the threat or the weapon is within arm's reach.
. If I see an exit and the threat is not focused on me.
- The golden rule of combat: Your most powerful weapon applied to your opponent's greatest vulnerability at his time of maximum imbalance. Power generation, targeting and timing.
May 8, 2013
Interesting read, with lots of practical advice and observations.
It weakens when he gets into posturing or trying to explain how behaviors evolved. It's best when he's talking about the practical realities, which is where his expertise is situated.
It weakens when he gets into posturing or trying to explain how behaviors evolved. It's best when he's talking about the practical realities, which is where his expertise is situated.
February 8, 2019
3.5 stars, rounded to a 4 based mostly on a relatable essay in the final chapter.
This was an easy, and necessarily sobering read that I imagine would be especially useful for anyone who feels invincible after taking a few kickboxing classes, and who might benefit from injection of a healthy dose of reality. The no-nonsense writing style well matches the commonsensical advice provided throughout the book, and the occasional gruesome anecdote is a good reminder to appreciate the EMTs, law enforcement officers, and emergency responders that shield those fortunate enough to have avoided violent trauma from the sometimes brutal realities of our world.
Rory Miller provides a good distinction between perceptions and reality of violence and, while the book lacks in detailed or precise instruction, it is a good starting point for considering the mental preparation required for effective self-defense (including the psychological impact of surviving an act of violence) and contains a useful annotated list of resources for further reading.
Excerpts of note:
“Behavioral looping is very common. Sometimes a person, especially a rookie, will focus on a single technique that IS NOT WORKING and he doesn’t think to change it. It’s very common in rookies to have them try to use the one technique that they really learned in training and just increase muscle and desperation when it doesn’t work. Sometimes an officer or group of officers who were justified in using batons will run into a threat on which the baton doesn’t work. Because focused blows with an impact weapon are the highest level of force below shooting, they stop there and just repeat the action, resulting sometimes in unnecessary injury. There is a chilling video available of the murder of Deputy Kyle Dinkheller taken from his dashboard camera. Even as the threat loads a rifle, Deputy Dinkheller stays locked in a verbal loop, repeating over and over, “Stop that,” and “Stop loading that rifle!” He continues in that loop until he is shot.”
“There is an optimal stage of adrenalization...Bruce Siddle, author of ‘Sharpening the Warrior’s Edge’, has listed stages of adrenalization and indexed them by heart rate (as more stress hormones go into your system, the heart beat goes up). He states that around 115-145 BPM reaction time and fighting skills are maximized. Knowing this number won’t help you a damn bit.”
“The serial predator is a process predator for whom the act is all important. I’ve known several and can only tell you that outside of the crimes, they sometimes seem very normal. One was a creepy weird old dude. One was a blue-collar regular joe. One was a hard drinking good-ol’-boy rancher. One was an articulate young man. Another was very intelligent and seemed normal, provided you didn’t see his artwork.”
“Growth and change of this magnitude is hard. Why is a caterpillar wrapped in silk while it is changing into a butterfly? So the other caterpillars can’t hear the screams. Change hurts.”
"At the technique level, this is acting decisively and without hesitation or telegraph, regardless of the technique used. At the tactical level, it is explosive entry. At the strategic level, it is "Shock and Awe." At the meta-level, it is deciding what is worth fighting, dying, or killing for long before the subject comes up, and acting decisively when the line is crossed - the second half of the "Go" button.
Like awareness, this can go deep and can affect far more of your life than simply combat self-defense. Want to change your life forever? Commit right now to never make a half-assed decision again. Stay in bed or get up, but never again lay in bed thinking that you should get up. Jump in the water or don't, but never wade in slowly to get used to it.
In combat, if you are aware, you know what needs to be done. Do it. In life, you now what needs to be done, you know the right things to do. Do them"
“At the library, there are dozens of books on spiritual growth, the Tao, and enlightenment. They all sound the same. They have a shared idea of what is deep and what is profound. The books on tape share a soft-spoken, educated, privileged voice. They talk with reverence of nature. If you meet them, the people who make a living by pointing the way, they always have soft hands.”
This was an easy, and necessarily sobering read that I imagine would be especially useful for anyone who feels invincible after taking a few kickboxing classes, and who might benefit from injection of a healthy dose of reality. The no-nonsense writing style well matches the commonsensical advice provided throughout the book, and the occasional gruesome anecdote is a good reminder to appreciate the EMTs, law enforcement officers, and emergency responders that shield those fortunate enough to have avoided violent trauma from the sometimes brutal realities of our world.
Rory Miller provides a good distinction between perceptions and reality of violence and, while the book lacks in detailed or precise instruction, it is a good starting point for considering the mental preparation required for effective self-defense (including the psychological impact of surviving an act of violence) and contains a useful annotated list of resources for further reading.
Excerpts of note:
“Behavioral looping is very common. Sometimes a person, especially a rookie, will focus on a single technique that IS NOT WORKING and he doesn’t think to change it. It’s very common in rookies to have them try to use the one technique that they really learned in training and just increase muscle and desperation when it doesn’t work. Sometimes an officer or group of officers who were justified in using batons will run into a threat on which the baton doesn’t work. Because focused blows with an impact weapon are the highest level of force below shooting, they stop there and just repeat the action, resulting sometimes in unnecessary injury. There is a chilling video available of the murder of Deputy Kyle Dinkheller taken from his dashboard camera. Even as the threat loads a rifle, Deputy Dinkheller stays locked in a verbal loop, repeating over and over, “Stop that,” and “Stop loading that rifle!” He continues in that loop until he is shot.”
“There is an optimal stage of adrenalization...Bruce Siddle, author of ‘Sharpening the Warrior’s Edge’, has listed stages of adrenalization and indexed them by heart rate (as more stress hormones go into your system, the heart beat goes up). He states that around 115-145 BPM reaction time and fighting skills are maximized. Knowing this number won’t help you a damn bit.”
“The serial predator is a process predator for whom the act is all important. I’ve known several and can only tell you that outside of the crimes, they sometimes seem very normal. One was a creepy weird old dude. One was a blue-collar regular joe. One was a hard drinking good-ol’-boy rancher. One was an articulate young man. Another was very intelligent and seemed normal, provided you didn’t see his artwork.”
“Growth and change of this magnitude is hard. Why is a caterpillar wrapped in silk while it is changing into a butterfly? So the other caterpillars can’t hear the screams. Change hurts.”
"At the technique level, this is acting decisively and without hesitation or telegraph, regardless of the technique used. At the tactical level, it is explosive entry. At the strategic level, it is "Shock and Awe." At the meta-level, it is deciding what is worth fighting, dying, or killing for long before the subject comes up, and acting decisively when the line is crossed - the second half of the "Go" button.
Like awareness, this can go deep and can affect far more of your life than simply combat self-defense. Want to change your life forever? Commit right now to never make a half-assed decision again. Stay in bed or get up, but never again lay in bed thinking that you should get up. Jump in the water or don't, but never wade in slowly to get used to it.
In combat, if you are aware, you know what needs to be done. Do it. In life, you now what needs to be done, you know the right things to do. Do them"
“At the library, there are dozens of books on spiritual growth, the Tao, and enlightenment. They all sound the same. They have a shared idea of what is deep and what is profound. The books on tape share a soft-spoken, educated, privileged voice. They talk with reverence of nature. If you meet them, the people who make a living by pointing the way, they always have soft hands.”
June 28, 2021
The element of fantasy is ever-present in almost all martial arts training and thinking. Depending on the reader this message may come across as either explicitly obvious or otherwise interwoven with paradoxical realities. I invite the reader to consider the totality of this statement - Sgt. Miller does the same in this short book on violence. Perhaps this is because martial arts training in whatever avenue - whether for professional combat, security, sports, athletics, fitness, leisure - martial arts training includes a germ of the realities of violence, a seemingly perennial component of social life on the grandest scale, continually challenging historical and personal conceptions of human life.
Miller details some of the asymmetries of our thinking on violence, his meditations offering great transfer into other realms - training a choku zuki or straight punch thousands of times does not mean the immediate execution when it is truly 'game time.' Following a fitness routine or a martial arts club present the ability to develop skills and strength, to unlock latent capacities or develop true discipline and confidence, but are still worlds apart from encountering a predatory assault or the shock of violent criminal machinations with utter disregard for human life.
How can a safe, socially-acceptable context (sign here, change your clothes and shower here, lift/sweat/stretch here, ...) or the submission to any authority (bow, listen intently, engage with an instructor and activate your primal instincts here) develop the instinct necessary to engage with a ruthless criminal or desperate act in a completely different context? How can you ensure your grappling training or skills in track and field will break the freeze when you are approached by a knife-wielding drug addict or what have you?
The challenge comes about here: the fantastical component of martial arts thinking and training is a central component of it. Sgt. Miller puts it like this: a central part of martial arts training is precisely the flaw in training any style or system. Rules, guidelines, and best practice allow practitioners to return another day, to become black belts, and to ultimately impart knowledge to others as traditions live and grow. Your instructor cannot beat you nearly to death with a baseball bat or give you a linear skull fracture every class
Upon further reflection this element of fantasy, of escape, when situated in the realm of self-discipline and self-development can be harmless and coveted - but the truth is that survival preparation, self-defense, and self-discipline in training require a much deeper realization, the realization of the deeper and often misunderstood levels of the violent encounter.
Given the self-development component of martial arts being such a crucial part of its often explicit purpose this makes sense - so much of the martial arts include an element of visualization, strategics, and ultimately the cultivation of a new identity. The set of problems related to these pursuits requires an often unique and creative transformation in group and individual thought including the lived renewal of the age-old hero's journey and the role of discipline and responsibility in daily life. These pursuits therefore take on fantastical roles in the lives of individuals and select groups of people for whom the demands of life come from a place of creative transformation or stultified submission to authorities that be.
Miller details some of the asymmetries of our thinking on violence, his meditations offering great transfer into other realms - training a choku zuki or straight punch thousands of times does not mean the immediate execution when it is truly 'game time.' Following a fitness routine or a martial arts club present the ability to develop skills and strength, to unlock latent capacities or develop true discipline and confidence, but are still worlds apart from encountering a predatory assault or the shock of violent criminal machinations with utter disregard for human life.
How can a safe, socially-acceptable context (sign here, change your clothes and shower here, lift/sweat/stretch here, ...) or the submission to any authority (bow, listen intently, engage with an instructor and activate your primal instincts here) develop the instinct necessary to engage with a ruthless criminal or desperate act in a completely different context? How can you ensure your grappling training or skills in track and field will break the freeze when you are approached by a knife-wielding drug addict or what have you?
The challenge comes about here: the fantastical component of martial arts thinking and training is a central component of it. Sgt. Miller puts it like this: a central part of martial arts training is precisely the flaw in training any style or system. Rules, guidelines, and best practice allow practitioners to return another day, to become black belts, and to ultimately impart knowledge to others as traditions live and grow. Your instructor cannot beat you nearly to death with a baseball bat or give you a linear skull fracture every class
Upon further reflection this element of fantasy, of escape, when situated in the realm of self-discipline and self-development can be harmless and coveted - but the truth is that survival preparation, self-defense, and self-discipline in training require a much deeper realization, the realization of the deeper and often misunderstood levels of the violent encounter.
Given the self-development component of martial arts being such a crucial part of its often explicit purpose this makes sense - so much of the martial arts include an element of visualization, strategics, and ultimately the cultivation of a new identity. The set of problems related to these pursuits requires an often unique and creative transformation in group and individual thought including the lived renewal of the age-old hero's journey and the role of discipline and responsibility in daily life. These pursuits therefore take on fantastical roles in the lives of individuals and select groups of people for whom the demands of life come from a place of creative transformation or stultified submission to authorities that be.
January 24, 2021
1st book of the year and a good one to kick things off. A bit lighter than some of the more sciencey/technical reads I have planned but although mostly anecdotal, the experiences of a prison guard Sergeant self-defence expert are ones worth reading about. The overall message that real world violence is not like martial arts or the movies, some people might understand but the vast majority do not fully appreciate how influenced we all are by these sources and how ill-served we are to respond to real violence. I appreciated the attempt to demystify all the "bullshit" people believe and the distinction between martial arts and self-defence. One involves slow-motion techniques in a dojo the other is about screaming, running away, exit routes, evasion and not getting killed.
Lessons:
1. A lot of violence is related to the "monkey dance" and "group monkey dance" which have certain rules defined by evolution and are related to status, in-group out-group and sexual selection. This type of violence, if you know how, can often be avoided by avoiding the confrontation/acting like it doesn't exist.
2. Predatory violence is different and efforts to avoid/de-escalate by appealing to shared humanity are unlikely to be effective as predator has already "othered" you through dehumanisation.
3. Violence happens in certain places, often where young men and alcohol are present, avoid these and avoid most violence. Look at others through the eyes of a predator, don't emulate weaker vulnerable people, do emulate large, strong threatening people.
4. Many of our assumptions about when to stop fighting/surviving are wrong and actually feed into our own reactions rather than reacting to the real world. You can get shot many times and keep going. A broken nose doesn't always incapacitate someone. Someone on drugs or who is mentally ill may not respond to fear, pain or damage in the way we expect people to, leading to levels of strength, resilience or wickedness that defies the limits of human ability or malice.
5. He divides criminals into 1) People that make mistakes (very rare) 2) hustlers (most common) and 3) predators (minority) and explains why conventional incarceration/punishment doesn't work on hustlers and predators.
6. He describes how and why violence starts and proliferates from youth, how violence to children just promotes a further chain of victimisation.
7. How domestic violence and rape occur and the implications of victimhood. By continuing to feed a victim status, you perpetuate the victimisation your assaulter caused, it must eventually be let go although it seems like the only source of power over others, one shouldn't cling to it.
8. Permission is the final factor in self-defence. Many of the most effective or deadly techniques we have the ability to perform but the capacity is different and must come from an individual allowing himself from harm and things he deems wrong enough to be stopped.
Lessons:
1. A lot of violence is related to the "monkey dance" and "group monkey dance" which have certain rules defined by evolution and are related to status, in-group out-group and sexual selection. This type of violence, if you know how, can often be avoided by avoiding the confrontation/acting like it doesn't exist.
2. Predatory violence is different and efforts to avoid/de-escalate by appealing to shared humanity are unlikely to be effective as predator has already "othered" you through dehumanisation.
3. Violence happens in certain places, often where young men and alcohol are present, avoid these and avoid most violence. Look at others through the eyes of a predator, don't emulate weaker vulnerable people, do emulate large, strong threatening people.
4. Many of our assumptions about when to stop fighting/surviving are wrong and actually feed into our own reactions rather than reacting to the real world. You can get shot many times and keep going. A broken nose doesn't always incapacitate someone. Someone on drugs or who is mentally ill may not respond to fear, pain or damage in the way we expect people to, leading to levels of strength, resilience or wickedness that defies the limits of human ability or malice.
5. He divides criminals into 1) People that make mistakes (very rare) 2) hustlers (most common) and 3) predators (minority) and explains why conventional incarceration/punishment doesn't work on hustlers and predators.
6. He describes how and why violence starts and proliferates from youth, how violence to children just promotes a further chain of victimisation.
7. How domestic violence and rape occur and the implications of victimhood. By continuing to feed a victim status, you perpetuate the victimisation your assaulter caused, it must eventually be let go although it seems like the only source of power over others, one shouldn't cling to it.
8. Permission is the final factor in self-defence. Many of the most effective or deadly techniques we have the ability to perform but the capacity is different and must come from an individual allowing himself from harm and things he deems wrong enough to be stopped.
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