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Rethinking Success: Eight Essential Practices for Finding Meaning in Work and Life
The financier, Georgetown University professor, and former White House advisor teaches you how to find meaning, balance, and purpose throughout your career while reaching the highest levels of professional achievement—how to do well without losing yourself.
Throughout his illustrious career, J. Douglas Holladay has taught generations of executives as well as students in his popular MBA course at Georgetown how to use a holistic approach to defining and reaching success in life and business.
Success does not come with an instruction manual. Too often “successful” people end up feeling empty, isolated, and depressed because they have lost focus on what is most important in their lives. Meaning-ful can help anyone, no matter their field, maintain the practices and values that keep them in tune with their most cherished beliefs throughout their careers. Drawn from the insights of his network of famous friends as well as his experiences as an investment banker, White House advisor, diplomat, longtime business professor, and non-profit consultant, the advice in Meaning-ful is centered around eight essential questions we must ask ourselves regularly to stay focused, connected, and joyful throughout our working lives.
Filled with essential wisdom, Meaning-ful is a powerful guide that allows us to do well while staying in tune with the values and beliefs that are most important to us.
Throughout his illustrious career, J. Douglas Holladay has taught generations of executives as well as students in his popular MBA course at Georgetown how to use a holistic approach to defining and reaching success in life and business.
Success does not come with an instruction manual. Too often “successful” people end up feeling empty, isolated, and depressed because they have lost focus on what is most important in their lives. Meaning-ful can help anyone, no matter their field, maintain the practices and values that keep them in tune with their most cherished beliefs throughout their careers. Drawn from the insights of his network of famous friends as well as his experiences as an investment banker, White House advisor, diplomat, longtime business professor, and non-profit consultant, the advice in Meaning-ful is centered around eight essential questions we must ask ourselves regularly to stay focused, connected, and joyful throughout our working lives.
Filled with essential wisdom, Meaning-ful is a powerful guide that allows us to do well while staying in tune with the values and beliefs that are most important to us.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
240 pages, Hardcover
First published April 28, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
March 20, 2022
While the eight practices are laudable, the author name drops every other paragraph about someone he knows or "a close friend" who happens to be rich, famous or both. The narrative is disjointed and fails to flow. The worst: he included a myth about Winston Churchill that is simply not true. He could have figured that out with a quick internet search. It made me wonder how many other examples were just snippets he heard once to fill the pages.
July 9, 2020
The book didn’t offer anything new to me. Initially I thought from the title that the book reviews what success means for different people and will explore this. But no. The underlying topic of the book is that success is connection with other people and to give. The chapters review different topics: the illusion of success, knowing your story and loving yourself, maintaining genuine relationships, gratitude, forgiveness, defining failure and success for yourself, risk, work, leaving a legacy. The best chapter for me personally was the one about forgiveness. I struggle with this so the chapter gave me very good food for thought. Only for it I would give the book 4 stars but looking overall at it - 3-3,5 stars. There is a file with extra 16 pages to make a journal with exercises and questions to answer for yourself https://d1xcdyhu7q1ws8.cloudfront.net...
And some insights from the book: 8 practices for pursuit of meaning and purpose:
1. Know and live your own story rather than fulfilling someone else’s dreams and expectations for you.
2. Maintain deep connections in your core relationships. Rather than assuming they will take care of themselves or that they don’t matter.
3. Regularly express gratitude rather than taking good things for granted and only focusing on worries and problems.
4. Learn to forgive and serve rather than falling into the trap of believing your life is only about the wrongs done to you.
5. Define success and failure for yourself rather than allowing your worth to be defined by others shifting and subjective standards.
6. Make sure risk continues to play a role in your life rather than allowing the apathy/ torpor of security to deaden your soul.
7. Integrate your life rather than compartmentalizing it.
8. Work to leave a legacy for others rather than being stuck in a small and limited world of self focus.
People are attracted to other people who are authentic and true to who they are. A key to long lasting human connections is to find those with whom we can be genuine and vulnerable.
You must understand the difference between should and must. Should is all about societal and parental messaging and expectations. Must is about your personal passion in heart. Must is why we are here to begin with, and choosing it is the journey of our lives. Should is absorbed from our surroundings - the messages we get from our family and culture.
Every story makes sense if you understand the underlying truth. Don’t misread the behavior and intentions of others. Find out more about them - maybe they are carrying a weight that knowing it will help you shift from judgement to compassion. It is hard to vilify somebody that you know personally. Our humanity connects us. Most of our fears about others disappear when we get to know them truly, their stories, hopes and fears. Once we connect with a real person, all of our preconceived views about the group they represent, quickly vanish.
Humans are, at heart, pleasers - desperate to do what is expected by them. Often we take decisions following and conforming to the group will, beliefs. There are different groups of conformity that we follow: tradition directed, inner directed and other directed (eg parents pressure). Old people regret not living a life true to themselves but rather what was expected by them.
Success can put people at risk to become more lonely and disconnected (especially men). Our fear to be open and vulnerable comes from the risk of rejection. That if we are really known we might be not liked or accepted.
The practice of making a gratitude list shifts our focus to what is good and positive in life than what is going wrong. Obsessive focus upon our problems can become a destructive habit. You become what you think about. You are what you think you are. You get either bitter or better.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge - dig 2 graves (Confucius). We don’t forgive because others deserve it, we forgive because it is important for our souls. Forgiving frees us to go on with our lives and to experience meaning derived from loving and caring for others. So selfless caring starts with forgiving both of others and ourselves. You can’t be grateful and resentful at the same time or forgiving and vengeful. Forgiveness takes practice and with baby steps - starts small. One way to forgiveness is to separate people from their acts. Forgiving isn’t condoning or excusing unacceptable behavior. You can strongly disapprove of someone’s actions and still forgive them for what they have done. It’s up to them whether they seek change. Also you don’t have to reconcile with others in order to forgive them completely. Our job is to change what we are able and we have little power of other’s decisions. Forgiveness is tied to empathy. It is easier to forgive when you understand the circumstances of the offender. You should always forgive your enemies because nothing annoys them more (Oscar Wilde). Hanna More saw forgiveness as economy of the heart because it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. Strategy of clinging to past grievances doesn’t work. We have to let go of the understanding that by stocking bitterness we somehow are extracting revenge and evening the score.
Who knows what is bad and what is good (you never know if an event happening to you will be for good or bad). Our perspective on a problem is the factor that decides how that problem will impact our lives. Setbacks can mark a new beginning if only we pay attention. Pain enforces us to consider possibilities and adjust to a new reality.
For J. K. Rowling failure meant stripping away the inessential. Stop pretending to yourself that you are something that you aren’t. If we are too afraid to fail, we miss out on the kind of critical self-evaluation. Failure makes us stronger and wiser. Setback can be an opportunity to redefine the way we approach life. Perhaps the things you once considered your greatest failings might become the shapers of a better you. Authentic people view failure not as the end but as the beginning of a journey grounded in humility. Resilience is not about pretending that everything is fine but rather about developing healthy life-management skills.
5 essential elements of fearless risk-taking:
1. Make big bets and make history.
2. Be bold and take risks.
3. Make failure matter.
4. Reach beyond your bubble.
5. Let urgency conquer fear.
And some insights from the book: 8 practices for pursuit of meaning and purpose:
1. Know and live your own story rather than fulfilling someone else’s dreams and expectations for you.
2. Maintain deep connections in your core relationships. Rather than assuming they will take care of themselves or that they don’t matter.
3. Regularly express gratitude rather than taking good things for granted and only focusing on worries and problems.
4. Learn to forgive and serve rather than falling into the trap of believing your life is only about the wrongs done to you.
5. Define success and failure for yourself rather than allowing your worth to be defined by others shifting and subjective standards.
6. Make sure risk continues to play a role in your life rather than allowing the apathy/ torpor of security to deaden your soul.
7. Integrate your life rather than compartmentalizing it.
8. Work to leave a legacy for others rather than being stuck in a small and limited world of self focus.
People are attracted to other people who are authentic and true to who they are. A key to long lasting human connections is to find those with whom we can be genuine and vulnerable.
You must understand the difference between should and must. Should is all about societal and parental messaging and expectations. Must is about your personal passion in heart. Must is why we are here to begin with, and choosing it is the journey of our lives. Should is absorbed from our surroundings - the messages we get from our family and culture.
Every story makes sense if you understand the underlying truth. Don’t misread the behavior and intentions of others. Find out more about them - maybe they are carrying a weight that knowing it will help you shift from judgement to compassion. It is hard to vilify somebody that you know personally. Our humanity connects us. Most of our fears about others disappear when we get to know them truly, their stories, hopes and fears. Once we connect with a real person, all of our preconceived views about the group they represent, quickly vanish.
Humans are, at heart, pleasers - desperate to do what is expected by them. Often we take decisions following and conforming to the group will, beliefs. There are different groups of conformity that we follow: tradition directed, inner directed and other directed (eg parents pressure). Old people regret not living a life true to themselves but rather what was expected by them.
Success can put people at risk to become more lonely and disconnected (especially men). Our fear to be open and vulnerable comes from the risk of rejection. That if we are really known we might be not liked or accepted.
The practice of making a gratitude list shifts our focus to what is good and positive in life than what is going wrong. Obsessive focus upon our problems can become a destructive habit. You become what you think about. You are what you think you are. You get either bitter or better.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge - dig 2 graves (Confucius). We don’t forgive because others deserve it, we forgive because it is important for our souls. Forgiving frees us to go on with our lives and to experience meaning derived from loving and caring for others. So selfless caring starts with forgiving both of others and ourselves. You can’t be grateful and resentful at the same time or forgiving and vengeful. Forgiveness takes practice and with baby steps - starts small. One way to forgiveness is to separate people from their acts. Forgiving isn’t condoning or excusing unacceptable behavior. You can strongly disapprove of someone’s actions and still forgive them for what they have done. It’s up to them whether they seek change. Also you don’t have to reconcile with others in order to forgive them completely. Our job is to change what we are able and we have little power of other’s decisions. Forgiveness is tied to empathy. It is easier to forgive when you understand the circumstances of the offender. You should always forgive your enemies because nothing annoys them more (Oscar Wilde). Hanna More saw forgiveness as economy of the heart because it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. Strategy of clinging to past grievances doesn’t work. We have to let go of the understanding that by stocking bitterness we somehow are extracting revenge and evening the score.
Who knows what is bad and what is good (you never know if an event happening to you will be for good or bad). Our perspective on a problem is the factor that decides how that problem will impact our lives. Setbacks can mark a new beginning if only we pay attention. Pain enforces us to consider possibilities and adjust to a new reality.
For J. K. Rowling failure meant stripping away the inessential. Stop pretending to yourself that you are something that you aren’t. If we are too afraid to fail, we miss out on the kind of critical self-evaluation. Failure makes us stronger and wiser. Setback can be an opportunity to redefine the way we approach life. Perhaps the things you once considered your greatest failings might become the shapers of a better you. Authentic people view failure not as the end but as the beginning of a journey grounded in humility. Resilience is not about pretending that everything is fine but rather about developing healthy life-management skills.
5 essential elements of fearless risk-taking:
1. Make big bets and make history.
2. Be bold and take risks.
3. Make failure matter.
4. Reach beyond your bubble.
5. Let urgency conquer fear.
December 31, 2020
A regurgitation of much of others’ writing - not much original thinking or ideation.
March 24, 2021
Many people gain what they think they want and yet remain unfulfilled. All too often, business advancement and wealth bring unhappiness rather than contentment and joy. The author takes a wise, compassionate look at why this occurs and how you can embrace the good and bad in your life.
Success can leave people feeling rudderless unless they have a clear direction.
1. Pay attention to your narrative. Reflect on how your past influences your present actions. What were your parents’ hopes for you? How do you see your life evolving? What provides you with joy? What choices have you found difficult and why?
2. Sustain authentic relationships. Leading a meaningful life filled with purpose requires healthy connections with other people. Those who lack authentic relationships suffer emotionally and intellectually. Genuine friendship does not measure costs and benefits. Having a friend offer support that you didn’t have to ask him or her to give you boosts your morale.
3. Make appreciation part of your life. In your professional and personal life, share your time without expecting anything in return. If youre grateful, you can face hardship courageously and positively. In fact, you might discover, during the most difficult of times, a strength and resilience you might not have otherwise been aware of. In challenging times, gratitude helps people uncover reserves of fortitude that brace them when they endure trouble.
4. Bear no malice, and seek to lend a hand. To flourish, people need to learn to forgive. You can’t pay attention to other priorities if you feel embittered and hold grudges. Such a mind-set can drive you to find reasons to continue to feel angry.Pardon others not because they merit it, but because doing so uplifts your spirit. The act of forgiveness allows you to concentrate on your life and gives you insight into what it means to honor other people. Forgiveness given to those who least deserve it is a powerful gift to witness. Not forgiving is corrosive to the soul and spirals downward into an inability to trust. One way to open the door to forgiveness is to separate people from their acts. To learn how to forgive, rehearse. Practice forgiveness in small increments and make it part of your daily routine. Most people learn forgiveness from their parents, their experiences and their observation of other people.Many don’t have the good fortune to live in exemplary families that consistently practiced forgiveness. Instead, they may have experienced constant acrimony. People could, unthinkingly, maintain tendencies toward resentment that their families kept alive and active over the course of many generations.
5. Understand how you characterize success and failure. Your perception of success and failure can shape what you consider valuable. You must define what success and failure mean in your life for yourself. Wrestling with your understanding of success can be challenging because much of this formulation intertwines with pre-existing ideas in your subconscious.
6. Accept risk as an essential part of your life. Overcoming fear and pursuing a course of action matters; the direction you take is less significant. People don’t have to become entrepreneurs or take monumental risks to find happiness, though it helps to respect risk-taking and incorporate some risk into life.
7. “Live an integrated life.” It’s essential to have a philosophy that enables us to thrive in good times and bad, whether a job is meaningful or simply to put bread on the table.
8. Determine your legacy. Leaders should model a different way, where we draw our sense of well-being and accomplishment from within. It takes courage to live this way.
Scholars suggest that to live a life with meaning, people must fulfill three preconditions. First, they must have a purpose which gives them a sense of direction and which helps the world make sense to them. Second, they must feel they are a part of something larger than themselves. Third, they must maintain connections with other people.
Success can leave people feeling rudderless unless they have a clear direction.
1. Pay attention to your narrative. Reflect on how your past influences your present actions. What were your parents’ hopes for you? How do you see your life evolving? What provides you with joy? What choices have you found difficult and why?
2. Sustain authentic relationships. Leading a meaningful life filled with purpose requires healthy connections with other people. Those who lack authentic relationships suffer emotionally and intellectually. Genuine friendship does not measure costs and benefits. Having a friend offer support that you didn’t have to ask him or her to give you boosts your morale.
3. Make appreciation part of your life. In your professional and personal life, share your time without expecting anything in return. If youre grateful, you can face hardship courageously and positively. In fact, you might discover, during the most difficult of times, a strength and resilience you might not have otherwise been aware of. In challenging times, gratitude helps people uncover reserves of fortitude that brace them when they endure trouble.
4. Bear no malice, and seek to lend a hand. To flourish, people need to learn to forgive. You can’t pay attention to other priorities if you feel embittered and hold grudges. Such a mind-set can drive you to find reasons to continue to feel angry.Pardon others not because they merit it, but because doing so uplifts your spirit. The act of forgiveness allows you to concentrate on your life and gives you insight into what it means to honor other people. Forgiveness given to those who least deserve it is a powerful gift to witness. Not forgiving is corrosive to the soul and spirals downward into an inability to trust. One way to open the door to forgiveness is to separate people from their acts. To learn how to forgive, rehearse. Practice forgiveness in small increments and make it part of your daily routine. Most people learn forgiveness from their parents, their experiences and their observation of other people.Many don’t have the good fortune to live in exemplary families that consistently practiced forgiveness. Instead, they may have experienced constant acrimony. People could, unthinkingly, maintain tendencies toward resentment that their families kept alive and active over the course of many generations.
5. Understand how you characterize success and failure. Your perception of success and failure can shape what you consider valuable. You must define what success and failure mean in your life for yourself. Wrestling with your understanding of success can be challenging because much of this formulation intertwines with pre-existing ideas in your subconscious.
6. Accept risk as an essential part of your life. Overcoming fear and pursuing a course of action matters; the direction you take is less significant. People don’t have to become entrepreneurs or take monumental risks to find happiness, though it helps to respect risk-taking and incorporate some risk into life.
7. “Live an integrated life.” It’s essential to have a philosophy that enables us to thrive in good times and bad, whether a job is meaningful or simply to put bread on the table.
8. Determine your legacy. Leaders should model a different way, where we draw our sense of well-being and accomplishment from within. It takes courage to live this way.
Scholars suggest that to live a life with meaning, people must fulfill three preconditions. First, they must have a purpose which gives them a sense of direction and which helps the world make sense to them. Second, they must feel they are a part of something larger than themselves. Third, they must maintain connections with other people.
May 8, 2020
As a small business owner, I am always looking for ways to improve, stay motivated, and inspire others. So I'm always slipping in books like The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy or You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth into my TBR pile. I was very thankful when this book was sent to me from TLC Book Tours & Harper One Books in exchange for an honest review.
We are more connected and make more money than any generation before us, and yet more people feel lost, lonely, and disconnected than ever before. Douglas Holladay writes a book that provides insights, strategies, and real hope to not only be successful but to flourish. Throughout his amazing life he has held positions at Goldman Sachs, the White House, and Georgetown University. He has chatted up Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and other influential people and narrowed his thoughts into 8 key strategies to becoming a successful person.
There wasn't anything new in here that I haven't already read or know, but I still found myself underlining and highlighting passages because we always need a reminder. I loved that this was an intimate read. Yes, it provides business strategy, but it also provides insight and wisdom. At the end of each chapter, he offers detailed take aways and action steps. I think this would make the perfect Mother's Day or Father's Day gift for that small business owner or entrepreneur looking to step up their game and find not only success but personal gratification.
I for one, will be passing this along to my husband!
We are more connected and make more money than any generation before us, and yet more people feel lost, lonely, and disconnected than ever before. Douglas Holladay writes a book that provides insights, strategies, and real hope to not only be successful but to flourish. Throughout his amazing life he has held positions at Goldman Sachs, the White House, and Georgetown University. He has chatted up Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and other influential people and narrowed his thoughts into 8 key strategies to becoming a successful person.
There wasn't anything new in here that I haven't already read or know, but I still found myself underlining and highlighting passages because we always need a reminder. I loved that this was an intimate read. Yes, it provides business strategy, but it also provides insight and wisdom. At the end of each chapter, he offers detailed take aways and action steps. I think this would make the perfect Mother's Day or Father's Day gift for that small business owner or entrepreneur looking to step up their game and find not only success but personal gratification.
I for one, will be passing this along to my husband!
April 14, 2021
One of the best books that I have ever read.
Add meaning to your life:
• 1. Pay attention to your narrative.
• 2. Sustain authentic relationships. “Without rich long-term relationships, it is simply impossible to live lives of meaning and purpose.
• 3. Make appreciation part of your life.
• 4. Bear no malice, and seek to lend a hand. “The ancient Greeks had a very different idea of success than we do. For them, the good life was about living a meaningful life and contributing to the greater good.” If you don’t link success with something more profound than monetary gain, succeeding can make your
life feel hollow.
• 5. Understand how you characterize success and failure.
• 6. Accept risk as an essential part of your life.
• 7. “Live an integrated life.”
• 8. Determine your legacy.
Add meaning to your life:
• 1. Pay attention to your narrative.
• 2. Sustain authentic relationships. “Without rich long-term relationships, it is simply impossible to live lives of meaning and purpose.
• 3. Make appreciation part of your life.
• 4. Bear no malice, and seek to lend a hand. “The ancient Greeks had a very different idea of success than we do. For them, the good life was about living a meaningful life and contributing to the greater good.” If you don’t link success with something more profound than monetary gain, succeeding can make your
life feel hollow.
• 5. Understand how you characterize success and failure.
• 6. Accept risk as an essential part of your life.
• 7. “Live an integrated life.”
• 8. Determine your legacy.
March 28, 2022
This is a truly outstanding book. Imagine looking at your life in the rear view mirror and seeing with complete clarity what you should have done differently. This book weaves together those rear view mirror perspectives and life lessons from extremely accomplished people. The author shares those personal stories and reflections to focus on and redefine how to measure success. He shares his insights and points drawing on quotes and anecdotes from philosophers and leaders. He provides a unique vantage point for the reader to digest the lessons he shares and to adopt the practices he advises. The practices in this book would be culture-changing and beneficial if adopted on a broad scale. Judge for yourself.
January 5, 2023
This is about as "middle of the road" book as it can get when it comes to a self-help book. I liked the overall ideas of how we should redefine success and find a way to enjoy the life we are living. The reflection questions that the book provides are good launching points in which to delve deeper into our own thinking. However, one of the most annoying things that the author does though is constantly name drop just about every famous person he's ever encountered which makes the book at some level seem showy, and self-centered rather than written in the pursuit of helping others grow. Nothing new in terms of ideas but still well written and the overall audio quality is clear and straightforward making this book easy to work along with.
February 26, 2021
This book is easy to read and includes a lot of anecdotes and personal observations, as well as recommendations for journaling to explore how his ideas relate to you. Two things to point out. First, read the introduction. If you are not in his target audience of affluent, white collar individuals, this book probably isn’t for you. Second, a lot of his material is a compilation of studies, findings, and observations from other authors that I have already read or are familiar with.
July 29, 2022
recommended by anton gunn. written by a former white house advisor. talks about the fact that it's lonely at the top and humans are social creatures. he's a friend of mark sanford's and mentions his leadership misadventure. a lot of rich/wealthy friends.
January 25, 2021
Review to come. I am a tad behind on my book reviews.
April 12, 2021
a ted too superficial
Read
October 15, 2021Love the book. Very inspiring.
Read
August 9, 2022I had a really moving class with the professor who wrote this book. Highly recommend!
April 20, 2024
The book itself would be a 2, but the journal prompts added an extra boost.
September 28, 2021
This book has a lot of treasures in it. I liked the exercises at the end of each chapter.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews