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You Can Negotiate Anything: The World's Best Negotiator Tells You How To Get What You Want
This is an alternate cover edition of ISBN 9780553281095
Herb Cohen believes the world is a giant negotiating table and, like it or not, you're a negotiator. Whether you're dealing with your spouse, boss, department store, bank manager, children, solicitor, or best friend - in every encounter with other people, negotiating is always taking place. And how well you handle those encounters determines whether you prosper happily or suffer frustration and loss. With his helpful and sensible approach Cohen shows that negotiating is a process you can understand and predict - and most importantly, that it's a practical skill you can learn and improve upon.
Herb Cohen believes the world is a giant negotiating table and, like it or not, you're a negotiator. Whether you're dealing with your spouse, boss, department store, bank manager, children, solicitor, or best friend - in every encounter with other people, negotiating is always taking place. And how well you handle those encounters determines whether you prosper happily or suffer frustration and loss. With his helpful and sensible approach Cohen shows that negotiating is a process you can understand and predict - and most importantly, that it's a practical skill you can learn and improve upon.
256 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published September 1, 1980
About the author
Herb Cohen
30 books52 followersFor more than three decades, Herb Cohen has been a practicing negotiator, intimately enmeshed in some of the world’s headline dramas from hostile takeovers to hostage negotiations. His clients have included business executives, entrepreneurs, sports and theatrical agents plus large corporations - as well as governmental agencies, such as the Department of State, FBI, CIA, The US Conference of Mayors and US Department of Justice.
Unlike some theorists, he was actively involved in the negotiations that settled the NFL players’ strike and the General Motors Chevy mobile litigation and also participated in the START Arms Control Negotiations with the Soviet Union.
He started formally teaching the subject of negotiations during a two week course for attorneys in 1963 sponsored by Allstate Insurance Company. It was then he first used the terms “Win-Win. Win-Lose, Lose-Lose”.
Herb Cohen’s analysis, insights and humorous view of many of these high-level happenings have appeared in many international publications, and he himself has been the subject of articles in TIME magazine, People, The Economist, The New Yorker, Esquire, Readers Digest, Good Housekeeping, Newsweek, Rolling Stone and even Playboy Magazine.
He is the author of You Can Negotiate Anything which was on the New York Times best-seller list for almost one year and has been translated into thirty languages. His latest book, Negotiate This! By Caring But Not T-H-A-T Much was published in mid-September 2003.
During the Cold War, Herb Cohen served with the U.S. Army, 14th Armored Cavalry Regiment on the East-West Border in Bad Kissingen, Germany.
While attending university and law school he worked in many business and governmental organizations and ultimately became a faculty member at the University of Michigan’s Graduate School of Business. Since then he has lectured at many educational institutions and enterprises such as The Harvard Negotiating Project, Yale Law School, The Kellogg School, Wharton, the University of Wisconsin, the University of California-San Diego, McGill University, UBC and the Columbia and Chicago University School of Business.
Unlike some theorists, he was actively involved in the negotiations that settled the NFL players’ strike and the General Motors Chevy mobile litigation and also participated in the START Arms Control Negotiations with the Soviet Union.
He started formally teaching the subject of negotiations during a two week course for attorneys in 1963 sponsored by Allstate Insurance Company. It was then he first used the terms “Win-Win. Win-Lose, Lose-Lose”.
Herb Cohen’s analysis, insights and humorous view of many of these high-level happenings have appeared in many international publications, and he himself has been the subject of articles in TIME magazine, People, The Economist, The New Yorker, Esquire, Readers Digest, Good Housekeeping, Newsweek, Rolling Stone and even Playboy Magazine.
He is the author of You Can Negotiate Anything which was on the New York Times best-seller list for almost one year and has been translated into thirty languages. His latest book, Negotiate This! By Caring But Not T-H-A-T Much was published in mid-September 2003.
During the Cold War, Herb Cohen served with the U.S. Army, 14th Armored Cavalry Regiment on the East-West Border in Bad Kissingen, Germany.
While attending university and law school he worked in many business and governmental organizations and ultimately became a faculty member at the University of Michigan’s Graduate School of Business. Since then he has lectured at many educational institutions and enterprises such as The Harvard Negotiating Project, Yale Law School, The Kellogg School, Wharton, the University of Wisconsin, the University of California-San Diego, McGill University, UBC and the Columbia and Chicago University School of Business.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 207 reviews
March 11, 2011
Books with titles like this one often promise more than they deliver. It's hard to find the good needles among the haystack of books of this kind that fill up the business and self-help sections of bookstores. However, this short book is refreshingly concise, and offers a lot of valuable wisdom for negotiations. Some of my take-aways are these:
1. legitimacy (the written word, lawyers/law department, policies, rules, even laws), while appearing inflexible, can still often be negotiated. We should remember that all rules were themselves the product of negotiations. When you yourself negotiate, try and use legitimacy to your advantage.
2. reasons and arguments aren't very persuasive unless they resonate with people's goals and desires. You have to tell people why reasons are significant for them in order to be persuasive.
3. Care, but not too much. Life is a game. If you are too emotionally invested in an outcome, you will overpay for it. Think of a house that you fall in love with.
4. Be patient, and recognize that deadlines are seldom "final". Use others' perceived deadlines to your advantage.
5. To negotiate collaboratively, and find a mutual "win", understand people's unique circumstances and interests. What's important to them, and to you, and find solutions that achieve these objectives. Don't get hung up on specific alternatives or a single variable like price.
6. Engage others, ask for their help, and get them to invest their time
7. It's a lot easier for people to say "no" over the phone or email. Know when to have a "face-to-face" meeting - particularly at the early stages when trying to build trust. Don't let yourself be seen as a number or statistic; humanize yourself and be someone with whom others can identify.
8. Don't negotiate with yourself. Make sure that the concessions you make get you something in return. The increments of your (price) concessions reveal more about your maximum willingness to pay than anything to you say; same for your opponent's "rock bottom" price.
9. Talk to the higher-ups in an organization, as they will view issues more broadly and politically (reputation wise) than those below who just apply rules
10. Prepare a written summary of every meeting with a record of each party's obligations
1. legitimacy (the written word, lawyers/law department, policies, rules, even laws), while appearing inflexible, can still often be negotiated. We should remember that all rules were themselves the product of negotiations. When you yourself negotiate, try and use legitimacy to your advantage.
2. reasons and arguments aren't very persuasive unless they resonate with people's goals and desires. You have to tell people why reasons are significant for them in order to be persuasive.
3. Care, but not too much. Life is a game. If you are too emotionally invested in an outcome, you will overpay for it. Think of a house that you fall in love with.
4. Be patient, and recognize that deadlines are seldom "final". Use others' perceived deadlines to your advantage.
5. To negotiate collaboratively, and find a mutual "win", understand people's unique circumstances and interests. What's important to them, and to you, and find solutions that achieve these objectives. Don't get hung up on specific alternatives or a single variable like price.
6. Engage others, ask for their help, and get them to invest their time
7. It's a lot easier for people to say "no" over the phone or email. Know when to have a "face-to-face" meeting - particularly at the early stages when trying to build trust. Don't let yourself be seen as a number or statistic; humanize yourself and be someone with whom others can identify.
8. Don't negotiate with yourself. Make sure that the concessions you make get you something in return. The increments of your (price) concessions reveal more about your maximum willingness to pay than anything to you say; same for your opponent's "rock bottom" price.
9. Talk to the higher-ups in an organization, as they will view issues more broadly and politically (reputation wise) than those below who just apply rules
10. Prepare a written summary of every meeting with a record of each party's obligations
October 5, 2013
Overall, I hated this book. The techniques presented here are contradictory and inconsistent. Some of them are also downright immoral. The author claims to present some unethical techniques so the user can identify, but no utilize them. However, I do not see his point. Simply, when battled with evil, you may want to resort to immorality to balance things out and this is not something I would like to be responsible for.
This book sank from 2 stars to 1 star because of the author's offensive content against some people and groups. I definitely do not support this kind of behavior.
Also, the author claims to have a way for everything, which is not the case. He may have gotten lucky a few times in his "success stories", but this is not going to happen for an average person in his average life. His ways are not really as magical and things do not end as well in real life as he glamorizes them to.
This book sank from 2 stars to 1 star because of the author's offensive content against some people and groups. I definitely do not support this kind of behavior.
Also, the author claims to have a way for everything, which is not the case. He may have gotten lucky a few times in his "success stories", but this is not going to happen for an average person in his average life. His ways are not really as magical and things do not end as well in real life as he glamorizes them to.
April 11, 2008
I recommend reading the book for its countless minor lessons, but the two major lessons for me were:
(1) Everything that is produced by negotiation is subject to negotiation. Just because the store puts a sign up doesn’t mean you (or they) have to abide by it. The person with whom you’re dealing decides whether to do what you want—not the sign. So don’t be afraid to ask.
(2) Find the real problem. A lot of times when we’re negotiating, we think it’s just a matter of whose number wins, but it’s really a lot more complicated than that. Different people have different needs, and meeting both parties’ needs doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive.
At 255 pages, it’s not a terribly long book, and it reads pretty quickly. Cohen writes with wit and the lessons you learn make the time invested worth it.
(1) Everything that is produced by negotiation is subject to negotiation. Just because the store puts a sign up doesn’t mean you (or they) have to abide by it. The person with whom you’re dealing decides whether to do what you want—not the sign. So don’t be afraid to ask.
(2) Find the real problem. A lot of times when we’re negotiating, we think it’s just a matter of whose number wins, but it’s really a lot more complicated than that. Different people have different needs, and meeting both parties’ needs doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive.
At 255 pages, it’s not a terribly long book, and it reads pretty quickly. Cohen writes with wit and the lessons you learn make the time invested worth it.
March 27, 2024
Excellent. Insightful. And effective.
March 11, 2010
Interesting, though probably rather obvious to people more savvy than I am about such things. The basic point is that usually one can achieve a win-win situation- IF one is trying for that rather than a win-lose. There are definitely some tips for making this happen- and for recognizing when someone else is not cooperative with that. I was pleased to discover that in some ways I'm doing the "right thing" instinctively, though I appreciate the tips.
December 2, 2015
Excellent instructive book. Teach us different kind of negotiation and how to handle them.
Clearly, people who complain about this book haven't read 1/3 of it... After I bought the book I red the comments and I was disappointed about this book might not be as good as I expected. However, critics against it are B.S.
Clearly, people who complain about this book haven't read 1/3 of it... After I bought the book I red the comments and I was disappointed about this book might not be as good as I expected. However, critics against it are B.S.
March 30, 2021
A good reminder on how all of life is a negotiation with the three most crucial elements being power, information and time.
February 7, 2017
I think some of the strategies mentioned in the book are rather useful. I have used some of them to avoid being taken advantage of the other people. Some the examples in the book are rather dated and his strategies on getting out of a speeding ticket you can't really do them anymore. It isn't a prefect book, but it does give some ideas on how to interact with other cultures, lessen the chances you will be taken advantage, and gives you some basic strategies.
March 27, 2018
Cuốn sách mở đầu khá hấp dẫn với các khái niệm và thuật ngữ (terminology) nhưng càng đọc về sau thì càng thấy lý thuyết, không thực tế; ví dụ như phần Quyền lực: chia nhỏ Quyền lực ra thành 14, 15 quyền lực nhỏ hơn, quá khó để tổng quát @@!
Sách có rất nhiều ví dụ, một vài ví dụ rất hay (như ví dụ mua đồng hồ của 2 vợ chồng), còn lại là các ví dụ không ấn tượng lắm, có lẽ phải hiểu văn hóa và brand ở Mỹ thì mới hiểu được tường tận (ví dụ mua hàng ở Seals).
=> 3/4 then break
Một số câu hay trong sách:
"Không nên bước vào đàm phán mà không có hơn 2 lựa chọn"
"Luôn luôn đưa ra và yêu cầu mọi người cam kết trong bất cứ công việc nào" (tránh sự nhượng mộ không chủ đích của đồng đội khiến dự án thất bại...)
"Đưa ra tối hậu thư khi và chỉ khi bên kia đã đầu tư rất nhiều vào bạn hay điều liên quan đến bạn"
"Điều khó đàm phán nhất, nên để sau cùng, sau khi bên kia đã đầu tư rất nhiều thời gian" (Thành công thường nằm ở giờ thứ 11)
Sách có rất nhiều ví dụ, một vài ví dụ rất hay (như ví dụ mua đồng hồ của 2 vợ chồng), còn lại là các ví dụ không ấn tượng lắm, có lẽ phải hiểu văn hóa và brand ở Mỹ thì mới hiểu được tường tận (ví dụ mua hàng ở Seals).
=> 3/4 then break
Một số câu hay trong sách:
"Không nên bước vào đàm phán mà không có hơn 2 lựa chọn"
"Luôn luôn đưa ra và yêu cầu mọi người cam kết trong bất cứ công việc nào" (tránh sự nhượng mộ không chủ đích của đồng đội khiến dự án thất bại...)
"Đưa ra tối hậu thư khi và chỉ khi bên kia đã đầu tư rất nhiều vào bạn hay điều liên quan đến bạn"
"Điều khó đàm phán nhất, nên để sau cùng, sau khi bên kia đã đầu tư rất nhiều thời gian" (Thành công thường nằm ở giờ thứ 11)
January 13, 2024
(The English review is placed beneath the Russian one)
Российское издание: Договорись о чем угодно. Как диктовать свои условия и продолжать нравиться людям.
Издательство: БОМБОРА
Год выпуска: 15 декабря 2022
ISBN: 978-5-04-177287-1
Типичная книга по самопомощи на тему переговоров. В данном случаи имеется ввиду не только профессиональные переговоры, как например, переговоры по закупке крупного оборудования или заключения коммерческой сделки, а любые переговоры, включая переговоры между родителями и детьми или между женой и мужем. С этой точки зрения книга адресована практически любому человеку. Как в типичных книгах того времени (а-ля Карнеги), автор изредка предлагает теорию, больше акцентируя на небольших практических советах. Думаю, единственным исключением является глава, в которой автор рассказывает про «советский стиль» переговоров. Как мне кажется, не только мне одному понравилась и запомнилась именно эта глава. Именно эта глава выглядит как наиболее предпочитаемый пример презентации своих идей (теория + практика). Да, остальные советы тоже интересны, но все они сводятся к историям, которые либо происходили с автором или были автором выдуманными. Эти истории показывают приемы, которыми пользовался либо сам автор, либо профессиональные переговорщики. Однако их слишком много и они даны в хаотичном порядке, из-за чего многие советы могут просто забыться.
Я не большой любитель книг по переговорам, однако, несколько моментов меня заинтересовали. Я думаю из книги можно взять несколько фундаментальных правил ведения переговоров, которые универсальны для любого случая. Во-первых, противоположная сторона не должна быть осведомлена о вашем дедлайне. Автор приводит отличный пример, как он, будучи молодым специалистом, провёл очень плохие переговоры из-за того, что противоположная сторона знала до какого числа он должен был заключить договор, благодаря чему оттягивала начало переговоров, занимая гостя чем угодно, но только не переговорами (объясняя каждый раз, что времени ещё достаточно). Когда же настал день отлёта из страны (действие происходило в Японии), автору нужно было срочно заключать договор на любых условиях, чем и воспользовались японцы. Ключ к пониманию состоял в том, что автор, когда только прилетел в Японию, дал знать японцам на какое число у него обратный рейс. Во-вторых, информация в переговорах очень ценный ресурс. Чем большей информацией вы обладаете, и чем меньшей информацией о вас обладает противоположная сторона, тем вероятней, что вы сможете заключить более успешный для вас договор или соглашение. Впрочем, это правило логически является продолжением выше обозначенного.
В книге есть много разных других советов, но все они небольшие и подойдут, как мне кажется, не для каждой ситуации и не для каждого человека. Вообще, бездумно применять все советы, обозначенные в этой книге, мне кажется ошибочным, так же как ошибочным является непринятие во внимания персонального типа поведения каждого человека, включая его личностную характеристику. Всё не каждый человек способен успешно играть на эмоциях других людей.
It is a typical self-help book on the subject of negotiation. This does not mean only professional negotiations, such as negotiating the purchase of large equipment or a business deal, but any negotiation, including negotiations between parents and children or between a wife and husband. From this point of view, the book is addressed to almost anyone. As in typical books of the time (a la Carnegie), the author sometimes offers theory, focusing more on small practical tips. I think the only exception is the chapter in which the author talks about the "Soviet-style" of negotiations. It seems to me that I'm not the only one who enjoyed and remembered this particular chapter. This particular chapter looks like the most preferred example of presenting your ideas (theory + practice). Yes, the rest of the tips are interesting too, but they all boil down to stories that either happened to the author or were made up by the author. These stories show techniques used either by the author himself or by professional negotiators. However, there are too many of them and they are given in a chaotic order so that many tips can simply be forgotten.
I am not a big fan of negotiation books, however, a few things interested me. I think you can take from the book some fundamental rules of negotiation that are universal for any case. First, the other side should not be aware of your deadline. The author gives an excellent example of how he, as a young specialist, had a very bad negotiation because the other side knew by what date he had to conclude the contract, which delayed the beginning of negotiations, keeping the guest busy with anything but negotiations (explaining each time that there was still enough time). When the day of departure from the country came (the action took place in Japan), the author had to urgently conclude a contract on any terms, which the Japanese took advantage of. The key to understanding was that the author when he first arrived in Japan, let the Japanese know the date of his return flight. Second, information in negotiations is a very valuable resource. The more information you have and the less information the other side has about you, the more likely it is that you will be able to conclude a more successful contract or agreement. However, this rule is a logical extension of the above rule.
There are many different other tips in the book, but all of them are small and not suitable, as it seems to me, for every situation and not for every person. In general, thoughtlessly applying all the advice outlined in this book, it seems to me erroneous, just as it is erroneous not to take into account the personal type of behavior of each person, including his personal characteristics. Not everyone is capable of successfully playing on other people's emotions.
Российское издание: Договорись о чем угодно. Как диктовать свои условия и продолжать нравиться людям.
Издательство: БОМБОРА
Год выпуска: 15 декабря 2022
ISBN: 978-5-04-177287-1
Типичная книга по самопомощи на тему переговоров. В данном случаи имеется ввиду не только профессиональные переговоры, как например, переговоры по закупке крупного оборудования или заключения коммерческой сделки, а любые переговоры, включая переговоры между родителями и детьми или между женой и мужем. С этой точки зрения книга адресована практически любому человеку. Как в типичных книгах того времени (а-ля Карнеги), автор изредка предлагает теорию, больше акцентируя на небольших практических советах. Думаю, единственным исключением является глава, в которой автор рассказывает про «советский стиль» переговоров. Как мне кажется, не только мне одному понравилась и запомнилась именно эта глава. Именно эта глава выглядит как наиболее предпочитаемый пример презентации своих идей (теория + практика). Да, остальные советы тоже интересны, но все они сводятся к историям, которые либо происходили с автором или были автором выдуманными. Эти истории показывают приемы, которыми пользовался либо сам автор, либо профессиональные переговорщики. Однако их слишком много и они даны в хаотичном порядке, из-за чего многие советы могут просто забыться.
Я не большой любитель книг по переговорам, однако, несколько моментов меня заинтересовали. Я думаю из книги можно взять несколько фундаментальных правил ведения переговоров, которые универсальны для любого случая. Во-первых, противоположная сторона не должна быть осведомлена о вашем дедлайне. Автор приводит отличный пример, как он, будучи молодым специалистом, провёл очень плохие переговоры из-за того, что противоположная сторона знала до какого числа он должен был заключить договор, благодаря чему оттягивала начало переговоров, занимая гостя чем угодно, но только не переговорами (объясняя каждый раз, что времени ещё достаточно). Когда же настал день отлёта из страны (действие происходило в Японии), автору нужно было срочно заключать договор на любых условиях, чем и воспользовались японцы. Ключ к пониманию состоял в том, что автор, когда только прилетел в Японию, дал знать японцам на какое число у него обратный рейс. Во-вторых, информация в переговорах очень ценный ресурс. Чем большей информацией вы обладаете, и чем меньшей информацией о вас обладает противоположная сторона, тем вероятней, что вы сможете заключить более успешный для вас договор или соглашение. Впрочем, это правило логически является продолжением выше обозначенного.
В книге есть много разных других советов, но все они небольшие и подойдут, как мне кажется, не для каждой ситуации и не для каждого человека. Вообще, бездумно применять все советы, обозначенные в этой книге, мне кажется ошибочным, так же как ошибочным является непринятие во внимания персонального типа поведения каждого человека, включая его личностную характеристику. Всё не каждый человек способен успешно играть на эмоциях других людей.
It is a typical self-help book on the subject of negotiation. This does not mean only professional negotiations, such as negotiating the purchase of large equipment or a business deal, but any negotiation, including negotiations between parents and children or between a wife and husband. From this point of view, the book is addressed to almost anyone. As in typical books of the time (a la Carnegie), the author sometimes offers theory, focusing more on small practical tips. I think the only exception is the chapter in which the author talks about the "Soviet-style" of negotiations. It seems to me that I'm not the only one who enjoyed and remembered this particular chapter. This particular chapter looks like the most preferred example of presenting your ideas (theory + practice). Yes, the rest of the tips are interesting too, but they all boil down to stories that either happened to the author or were made up by the author. These stories show techniques used either by the author himself or by professional negotiators. However, there are too many of them and they are given in a chaotic order so that many tips can simply be forgotten.
I am not a big fan of negotiation books, however, a few things interested me. I think you can take from the book some fundamental rules of negotiation that are universal for any case. First, the other side should not be aware of your deadline. The author gives an excellent example of how he, as a young specialist, had a very bad negotiation because the other side knew by what date he had to conclude the contract, which delayed the beginning of negotiations, keeping the guest busy with anything but negotiations (explaining each time that there was still enough time). When the day of departure from the country came (the action took place in Japan), the author had to urgently conclude a contract on any terms, which the Japanese took advantage of. The key to understanding was that the author when he first arrived in Japan, let the Japanese know the date of his return flight. Second, information in negotiations is a very valuable resource. The more information you have and the less information the other side has about you, the more likely it is that you will be able to conclude a more successful contract or agreement. However, this rule is a logical extension of the above rule.
There are many different other tips in the book, but all of them are small and not suitable, as it seems to me, for every situation and not for every person. In general, thoughtlessly applying all the advice outlined in this book, it seems to me erroneous, just as it is erroneous not to take into account the personal type of behavior of each person, including his personal characteristics. Not everyone is capable of successfully playing on other people's emotions.
January 26, 2020
Herb Cohen presented his lessons with real life scenarios that were easy to relate to which made his tips a bit more practical.
Overall the book left me with some smart tips to nailing Win-Win negotiations, so that both sides go home happy.
In addition, he presents the 3 crucial variables to any negotiation, different negotiation styles, their characteristics and a look at both sides of each style, telephone negotiations, making negotiations personal and the benefits of moving up the ladder, in almost any situation - and its perks.
Overall the book left me with some smart tips to nailing Win-Win negotiations, so that both sides go home happy.
In addition, he presents the 3 crucial variables to any negotiation, different negotiation styles, their characteristics and a look at both sides of each style, telephone negotiations, making negotiations personal and the benefits of moving up the ladder, in almost any situation - and its perks.
September 20, 2022
I may have been expecting a bit more, to be completely honest. Sure, it might be an overexagerrated example, but it sounds ridiculous when in the first third of the book, the author suggests stuff like investing 8 hours into talking to a retail seller just to get 20 dollars (sure, it was written in the 80s, but still) off on a new fridge.
The second third of the book is when it gets a bit more interesting, I especially liked the description of the "Soviet style" negotiator, and the "Win-win technique", telephone negotiations and moving up concept were all really interesting too.
The second third of the book is when it gets a bit more interesting, I especially liked the description of the "Soviet style" negotiator, and the "Win-win technique", telephone negotiations and moving up concept were all really interesting too.
April 6, 2018
There was nothing new in this books, the same that we have been using for a long time and that we have seen in society and are being used by some people. It basically describes the psychology between the two persons, the one who wants to negotiate and the other. And some of the concepts described are not even moral, means if you use them it shows that you are not a man of character.
I don't recommend it to others, I also won't read it again.
I don't recommend it to others, I also won't read it again.
June 16, 2020
This book was not great. There are some interesting negotiating techniques and anecdotes, but as another reviewer noted, some tips he gives seem kind of morally wrong. The first half of the book should have been called “How to Manipulate and Annoy Retail Workers.” I’m giving it 2 stars rather than one because there were a few helpful tidbits, but overall it kind of sucked. Also he used an offensive and outdated bit of language which was troubling.
January 27, 2018
O carte extraordinara cu niste lectii fine de psihologie. Usor de citit, inteles si aplicat in viata de zi cu zi, cartea lui Herb Cohen ar trebui parcursa de fiecare.
February 18, 2024
Despite his regrettable remark about Shia Muslims, I found this book intriguing. For me, a book that presents a single new valuable idea, even if I don't fully agree with everything else, is more enriching than a book that aligns 100% with my views but doesn't offer anything new.
He states that there are three variables that play into negotiation: power, information and time. For me time was the most eye opening. It seems obvious to me now, but numerous times this variable has been used against me without me noticing.
Then again I think it is limited how much one can learn from a book. If you really want to learn I would recommend doing deliberate practice, enacting the principles in real life negotiations. Consider this: would you truly learn how to swim by only reading about it, without ever actually getting into the water?
He states that there are three variables that play into negotiation: power, information and time. For me time was the most eye opening. It seems obvious to me now, but numerous times this variable has been used against me without me noticing.
Then again I think it is limited how much one can learn from a book. If you really want to learn I would recommend doing deliberate practice, enacting the principles in real life negotiations. Consider this: would you truly learn how to swim by only reading about it, without ever actually getting into the water?
June 5, 2017
I don't have impression about this book.
March 23, 2022
Read this classic bestseller to learn such valuable and ethical negotiating tactics as damaging goods in a store so they are incentivized to lower the price for you or wasting six hours of your and a salesman's time to save $50 on a refrigerator. Don't forget the classic trick of pretending to be mentally handicapped!
Were people just idiots in 1980 or something? How does this garbage advice become a classic?
Were people just idiots in 1980 or something? How does this garbage advice become a classic?
November 23, 2020
Great book about negotiation.
November 21, 2019
Este é um livro que se enquadra na categoria ame-o ou deteste-o, pois é um livro, que embora tenha se tornado um clássico, não tem uma postura acadêmica, sua linguagem é fácil e coloquial, o que pode ter desagradado muitos gurus da negociação na época de seu lançamento
Mas o que torna o livro objeto de polêmicas é o fato de que e em certos trechos trafega entre os limites da ética e do preconceito. O próprio subtítulo da versão em português é bastante politicamente incorreto; O melhor negociador do mundo ensina como levar vantagem, uma frase que nos reporta à famosa Lei do Gerson.
No entanto, é preciso respeitar uma obra que dura gerações, figurou um enorme tempo como bestseller e contém valiosos capítulos, nos quais Herb Cohen descreve de forma clara e com riqueza de detalhes os três fatores condicionantes da negociação: poder, tempo e informação.
Só pelos três capítulos em que estes fatores são analisados o livro vale o seu preço
Tradicionalmente, as recompensas são dadas presumivelmente para aqueles que possuem o maior talento, dedicação e educação. Mas a vida tem desiludido aqueles que acreditam na virtude de que o trabalho duro sempre triunfará no final. Os "vencedores" parecem ser pessoas que não só são competentes, mas também têm a habilidade de negociar a maneira de conseguirem o que desejam. Assim, o que é negociação? Cohen define negociação como o uso da informação e poder para afetar o comportamento "dentro de uma teia de tensões". Se você pensar a respeito desta ampla definição, você concluirá que todos nós, negociamos o tempo todo, tanto no trabalho como em nossas vidas pessoais.
Você sempre negocia no trabalho embora não esteja sempre consciente do que está fazendo. Subordinados ou empregados usam informação e poder para afetar o comportamento daqueles acima deles. Imaginemos que você tenha uma ideia ou proposta que deseja ser aceita. O que é necessário é que você envolva seu conceito de uma maneira que atinja as necessidades de seu chefe como também das atuais prioridades da sua organização. Existem muitas pessoas com espertises técnicas que carecem de habilidade negociadora para vender suas ideias. Como resultado se sentem frustradas. Em todas as negociações três elementos são cruciais: Informação, Tempo e Poder.
1. Informação: O outro lado parece saber mais sobre você e de suas necessidades do que você sabe sobre eles e suas necessidades. Se informação é o coração do meu objeto, ela pode abrir o cofre chamado sucesso. Ela afeta nosso sentido de realidade e da decisão que tomamos. Por que então falhamos em obter a informação adequada? Porque tendemos a encarar nosso encontro de negociação com as pessoas como um acontecimento limitado ou um evento. Raramente prevemos que precisaremos de informação até a iminência de uma crise ou um evento focal que gera uma cascata de consequência disfuncionais. Durante uma negociação é comum a estratégia de um ou ambos os lados esconderem seus reais interesses, necessidades e prioridades. A razão é que informação é poder, particularmente, em situações nas quais você não pode confiar inteiramente no outro lado. Antigos comerciantes de cavalos nunca deixavam o vendedor conhecer quais animais eles tinham realmente interesse, porque se o fizessem o preço poderia subir. Você obtém uma enorme vantagem se puder conhecer, antes da negociação começar, o que o outro lado realmente deseja, seus limites e restrições.
2. Tempo: O outro lado não parece estar sujeito ao mesmo tipo de pressões organizaçionais, restrições de tempo e limites que você sente estar submetido. O temo se move a uma mesma taxa para todos nós, não importa o que você faça. Uma vez que não podemos controlar o relógio, precisamos examinar como a passagem do tempo afeta o processo de negociação. Cohen afirma; "Não" é uma reação, não uma posição. As pessoas que reagem negativamente à nossa proposta precisam, simplesmente, examiná-la e ajustar seu entendimento. Com a franquia de tempo suficiente e repetidos esforços de nossa parte, quase todos os "não" podem ser transformados em um "talvez" e eventualmente em um "sim", se você oferecer um período de tempo suficiente para a aceitação e suprir o outro lado com novas informações que eles não consideraram na formulação do seu "não" inicial. Você pode dobrá-los.
3. Poder: O outro lado sempre parece ter mais poder e autoridade do que você pensa que tem. Cohen define o poder como a capacidade ou habilidade de realizar as tarefas através do exercício do controle sobre as pessoas, eventos e situações. Poder é uma maneira de ir de um lado para o outro. Digamos que você está presentemente em uma posição A (situação presente) e deseja ir para a posição B (seu objetivo, meta ou destino). O poder o capacita a ir de A para B. Permite que você mude sua realidade para alcançar sua meta. O poder nunca deve se o objetivo em si só. Ele deve ser um transporte para o destino. Você tem bastante poder. Cohen lembra que você deve usá-lo para implementar sensivelmente objetivos que são importantes para você. Você tem mais poder nas pontas dos dedos do que imagina! Alguns deles são o poder da legitimidade, o poder de assumir riscos, o poder do compromisso, o poder da especialização, o poder do conhecimento, o poder moral, o poder da atitude. Reiteramos, e Cohen enfatiza isto, que é preciso entender o termo poder não como algo que o faça subjugar a outra parte, mas como uma força influenciadora para exercer uma boa preparação e, principalmente, para criar valor, isto é, obter ganhos. O poder lhe permite mudar a realidade e alcançar sua meta. Não encare o termo poder como um conceito de conotações negativas. Compare a analogia, o ar é necessário para a vida, mas às vezes na forma de furacões ele tira a vida. Assim é o poder, ele não pode ser um fim, mas um meio para se chegar a um fim. Lembre-se , por exemplo, que sua BATNA é a fonte mais importante de poder em uma negociação.
O livro é escrito em uma linguagem, como já dissemos, muito lúcida e enriquecido com vários exemplos do dia-a-dia e viagens de Cohen. Entretanto, o contexto é, tipicamente, americano, mas os exemplos, mesmo assim, são tão simples que podem muito bem serem relacionados e adaptados a qualquer realidade. Estamos diante, definitivamente, de uma obra que deve figurar na biblioteca de todo aspirante a negociador, mesmo porque, é um clássico da literatura de negociação.
Mas o que torna o livro objeto de polêmicas é o fato de que e em certos trechos trafega entre os limites da ética e do preconceito. O próprio subtítulo da versão em português é bastante politicamente incorreto; O melhor negociador do mundo ensina como levar vantagem, uma frase que nos reporta à famosa Lei do Gerson.
No entanto, é preciso respeitar uma obra que dura gerações, figurou um enorme tempo como bestseller e contém valiosos capítulos, nos quais Herb Cohen descreve de forma clara e com riqueza de detalhes os três fatores condicionantes da negociação: poder, tempo e informação.
Só pelos três capítulos em que estes fatores são analisados o livro vale o seu preço
Tradicionalmente, as recompensas são dadas presumivelmente para aqueles que possuem o maior talento, dedicação e educação. Mas a vida tem desiludido aqueles que acreditam na virtude de que o trabalho duro sempre triunfará no final. Os "vencedores" parecem ser pessoas que não só são competentes, mas também têm a habilidade de negociar a maneira de conseguirem o que desejam. Assim, o que é negociação? Cohen define negociação como o uso da informação e poder para afetar o comportamento "dentro de uma teia de tensões". Se você pensar a respeito desta ampla definição, você concluirá que todos nós, negociamos o tempo todo, tanto no trabalho como em nossas vidas pessoais.
Você sempre negocia no trabalho embora não esteja sempre consciente do que está fazendo. Subordinados ou empregados usam informação e poder para afetar o comportamento daqueles acima deles. Imaginemos que você tenha uma ideia ou proposta que deseja ser aceita. O que é necessário é que você envolva seu conceito de uma maneira que atinja as necessidades de seu chefe como também das atuais prioridades da sua organização. Existem muitas pessoas com espertises técnicas que carecem de habilidade negociadora para vender suas ideias. Como resultado se sentem frustradas. Em todas as negociações três elementos são cruciais: Informação, Tempo e Poder.
1. Informação: O outro lado parece saber mais sobre você e de suas necessidades do que você sabe sobre eles e suas necessidades. Se informação é o coração do meu objeto, ela pode abrir o cofre chamado sucesso. Ela afeta nosso sentido de realidade e da decisão que tomamos. Por que então falhamos em obter a informação adequada? Porque tendemos a encarar nosso encontro de negociação com as pessoas como um acontecimento limitado ou um evento. Raramente prevemos que precisaremos de informação até a iminência de uma crise ou um evento focal que gera uma cascata de consequência disfuncionais. Durante uma negociação é comum a estratégia de um ou ambos os lados esconderem seus reais interesses, necessidades e prioridades. A razão é que informação é poder, particularmente, em situações nas quais você não pode confiar inteiramente no outro lado. Antigos comerciantes de cavalos nunca deixavam o vendedor conhecer quais animais eles tinham realmente interesse, porque se o fizessem o preço poderia subir. Você obtém uma enorme vantagem se puder conhecer, antes da negociação começar, o que o outro lado realmente deseja, seus limites e restrições.
2. Tempo: O outro lado não parece estar sujeito ao mesmo tipo de pressões organizaçionais, restrições de tempo e limites que você sente estar submetido. O temo se move a uma mesma taxa para todos nós, não importa o que você faça. Uma vez que não podemos controlar o relógio, precisamos examinar como a passagem do tempo afeta o processo de negociação. Cohen afirma; "Não" é uma reação, não uma posição. As pessoas que reagem negativamente à nossa proposta precisam, simplesmente, examiná-la e ajustar seu entendimento. Com a franquia de tempo suficiente e repetidos esforços de nossa parte, quase todos os "não" podem ser transformados em um "talvez" e eventualmente em um "sim", se você oferecer um período de tempo suficiente para a aceitação e suprir o outro lado com novas informações que eles não consideraram na formulação do seu "não" inicial. Você pode dobrá-los.
3. Poder: O outro lado sempre parece ter mais poder e autoridade do que você pensa que tem. Cohen define o poder como a capacidade ou habilidade de realizar as tarefas através do exercício do controle sobre as pessoas, eventos e situações. Poder é uma maneira de ir de um lado para o outro. Digamos que você está presentemente em uma posição A (situação presente) e deseja ir para a posição B (seu objetivo, meta ou destino). O poder o capacita a ir de A para B. Permite que você mude sua realidade para alcançar sua meta. O poder nunca deve se o objetivo em si só. Ele deve ser um transporte para o destino. Você tem bastante poder. Cohen lembra que você deve usá-lo para implementar sensivelmente objetivos que são importantes para você. Você tem mais poder nas pontas dos dedos do que imagina! Alguns deles são o poder da legitimidade, o poder de assumir riscos, o poder do compromisso, o poder da especialização, o poder do conhecimento, o poder moral, o poder da atitude. Reiteramos, e Cohen enfatiza isto, que é preciso entender o termo poder não como algo que o faça subjugar a outra parte, mas como uma força influenciadora para exercer uma boa preparação e, principalmente, para criar valor, isto é, obter ganhos. O poder lhe permite mudar a realidade e alcançar sua meta. Não encare o termo poder como um conceito de conotações negativas. Compare a analogia, o ar é necessário para a vida, mas às vezes na forma de furacões ele tira a vida. Assim é o poder, ele não pode ser um fim, mas um meio para se chegar a um fim. Lembre-se , por exemplo, que sua BATNA é a fonte mais importante de poder em uma negociação.
O livro é escrito em uma linguagem, como já dissemos, muito lúcida e enriquecido com vários exemplos do dia-a-dia e viagens de Cohen. Entretanto, o contexto é, tipicamente, americano, mas os exemplos, mesmo assim, são tão simples que podem muito bem serem relacionados e adaptados a qualquer realidade. Estamos diante, definitivamente, de uma obra que deve figurar na biblioteca de todo aspirante a negociador, mesmo porque, é um clássico da literatura de negociação.
July 29, 2020
The author tries to get some points across that may have value (keeping big picture in mind, know what their needs are and your needs are then work to get them both met) but the methods described are deeply immoral and at times petty.
I made it through 40 pages with every fifth page having some nugget of info that's good, but every 2 pages I was asking myself why he was advocating immoral techniques.
I was questioning if I should keep reading but when he suggested having a stutter to "seem like an idiot" (insinuating that all people who stutter are idiots) to take negotiation tactics away from the other side I couldn't do it anymore. I'd throw the book away but luckily I borrowed it from the library so at least I didn't give the author more money.
I made it through 40 pages with every fifth page having some nugget of info that's good, but every 2 pages I was asking myself why he was advocating immoral techniques.
I was questioning if I should keep reading but when he suggested having a stutter to "seem like an idiot" (insinuating that all people who stutter are idiots) to take negotiation tactics away from the other side I couldn't do it anymore. I'd throw the book away but luckily I borrowed it from the library so at least I didn't give the author more money.
May 18, 2020
3.5
Sách self-help dễ đọc và cơ bản. Có 1 số thứ khá thú vị về đàm phán, như ai cũng có quyền lực về mặt này hay khác, tin rằng mình có quyền lực thì bạn sẽ có quyền lực :). Nói chung là phải tự tin, có chuẩn bị, hiểu đối phương, cá nhân hoá tình huống và nhân danh chính mình khi đàm phán. Nhưng bên cạnh đó một số tactics cũng buồn cười và cần da mặt dày (mà mình vốn da mặt mỏng) nên khó mà thấy phù hợp.
Sách self-help dễ đọc và cơ bản. Có 1 số thứ khá thú vị về đàm phán, như ai cũng có quyền lực về mặt này hay khác, tin rằng mình có quyền lực thì bạn sẽ có quyền lực :). Nói chung là phải tự tin, có chuẩn bị, hiểu đối phương, cá nhân hoá tình huống và nhân danh chính mình khi đàm phán. Nhưng bên cạnh đó một số tactics cũng buồn cười và cần da mặt dày (mà mình vốn da mặt mỏng) nên khó mà thấy phù hợp.
February 13, 2010
a nice presentation on ideas could be useful in negotiating situation. Another good point is humour full and witty way of conveying his insights. So on the whole the book is entertaing,educative and worth read if ever one is interested in this topic.
December 14, 2015
Extremely useful. Mind sharpening tool to master.
August 3, 2013
As the title indicates, this book is about negotiation, which the author defines as: "What is negotiation? It is the use of information and power to affect behavior within a "web of tension." If you think about this broad definition, you'll realize that you do, in fact, negotiate all the time both on your job and in your personal life." Herb then summarizes the three pillars of negotiation, the main premise of the book: "In every negotiation in which you're involved—in every negotiation in which I'm involved—in fact, in every negotiation in the world (from a diplomatic geopolitical negotiation to the purchase of a home)—three crucial elements are always present: 1. Information. The other side seems to know more about you and your needs than you know about them and their needs. 2. Time. The other side doesn't seem to be under the same kind of organizational pressure, tune constraints, and restrictive deadlines you feel you're under. 3. Power. The other side always seems to have more power and authority than you think you have."
Below are key excerpts from the book that I found particularly insightful:
1- "Within reason, you can get whatever you want if you're aware of our options, if you test your assumptions, if you take shrewdly calculated risks based on solid information, and if you believe you have power. "
2- "You have more power sources at your fingertips than you realize! 1. The power of competition...2. The power of legitimacy. Legitimacy can be questioned and challenged. Use the power of legitimacy when it's advantageous for you to do so and challenge that power when ifs advantageous for you to do so...3. The power of risk taking You must be willing to take risks while negotiating. Risk taking involves mixing courage with common sense...4. The power of commitment...By syndicating your risk you put yourself in a position to exploit the favorable opportunity because the risk is only moderate for you...5. The power of expertise...Establish your background and credentials early in he confrontation. If you do, your statements may not even t challenged. In other words, cash in on the fact that in complicated negotiations, participants often lack specialized knowledge of certain aspects of the matter being discussed...6. The power of the knowledge of "needs" for: for: 1. The specific issues and demands, which are stated openly. 2. The real needs of the other side, which are rarely verbalized...7. The power of investment...My point is this: If you have something difficult to negotiate—an emotional issue, or a concrete item that can be stated numerically, such as price, cost, interest rate, or salary-cope with it at the end of a negotiation, after the other side has made a hefty expenditure of energy and a substantial time investment...8. The power of rewarding or punishing...If I'm aware of your perceptions and needs, and if I know you think I have power over you, I can control your behavior...9. The power of identification...You will maximize your negotiating ability if you get others to identify with you...10. The power of morality...11. The power of precedent...12. The power of persistence...Persistence is to power what carbon is to steel. By gnawing through a dike long enough even a rat can drown a nation. Most people aren't persistent enough when negotiating...13. The power of persuasive capacity...even if you present me with overwhelming evidence that I understand, should the conclusion depress me, I will remain unconvinced. Your facts and logic may be unassailable, but their acceptance will not meet my existing needs and desires...14. The power of attitude...Try to regard all encounters and situations, including your job, as a game, as the world of illusion. Pull back a little and enjoy it all."
3- "1. Since most concession behavior and settlements will occur at or even beyond the deadline, be patient. True strength often calls for the ability to sustain the tension without flight or fight. Learn to keep your automatic defense responses under control. Remain calm but keep alert for the favorable moment to act. As a general rule, patience pays. It may be that the thing 5 do, when you do not know what to do, is to do nothing. 2. In an adversary negotiation your best strategy is not to reveal your real deadline to the other side. Always keep in mind that since deadlines are the product of a negotiation they are more flexible than most people realize. the benefits and detriments that will ensue as you approach, or go beyond, the brink.3. The "other side," cool and serene as they may appear. always have a deadline. Most often, the tranquility they display outwardly masks a great deal of stress and pressure. 4. Precipitous action should be taken only when ifs guaranteed to be to your advantage. Generally speaking you cannot achieve the best outcome quickly; you can achieve it only slowly and perseveringly. Very often as you approach the deadline a shift of power will occur, presenting a creative solution or even a turnaround by the other side. The people may not change, but with the passage of tune, circumstances do."
4- "Watch the increments of concession behavior, since they send a strong message about the real limits of authority."
5- "A negotiation is more than an exchange of material obj« It is a way of acting and behaving that can develop understanding, belief, acceptance, respect, and trust. It is the manner of your approach, the tone of your voice, the attitude you convey, the methods you use, and the concern you exhibit for the other side's feelings and needs. All these things comprise the process of negotiation. Hence, the way you go about trying to obtain your objective may in and of itself meet some of the other party's needs."
6- "Let me now elaborate on how the negotiating process and reconciling opponent's needs can be used to bring about collaborative Win-Wm outcomes: I. Using the process to meet needs 2. Harmonizing or reconciling needs...In general, the reason we are at odds on an issue may stem from three areas of difference: 1. Experience 2. Information 3. Role...3. Role...Successful collaborative negotiation lies in finding out what the other side really wants and showing them a way to get it, while you get what you want."
7- "Accomplishing mutual satisfaction using the collaborative Win-Win style involves emphasis on three important activities: 1. Building trust 2. Gaining commitment 3. Managing opposition."
8- "How can you ensure that you do not make visceral opponents? My two rules are stated in terse negative terms: 1. Never forget the power of your attitude 2. Never judge the actions and motives of others."
9- "Much like a great chess master, a winning negotiator needs to know every possible strategy from the opening gambit to the end-game play. Then he can enter the event with confidence that he is prepared for every possible eventuality that might occur. Nonetheless, he strives for the best outcome that can give everyone what he wants. And he knows that compromise may be acceptable, but it's not mutually satisfying. It is a back-up, a concluding strategy that he may ultimately have to use to avoid the consequence of a deadlock."
10- "Characteristics of Phone Negotiations: 1. More misunderstanding 2. Easier to say no 3. Much quicker 4. More competitive 5. Greater risk 6. Advantage—caller...The following are some suggestions that can be effortlessly customized to help you achieve success: 1. Be the caller/ not the callee 2. Plan and prepare 3. A graceful exit 4. Discipline yourself to listen 5. Write the memorandum of agreement."
11- "To maximize your impact as a negotiator— no matter whom you are dealing with—you must personalize both yourself and the situation...Try not to negotiate on behalf of an institution or organization, no matter how large or small. Negotiate on behalf of yourself, representing the institution."
Below are key excerpts from the book that I found particularly insightful:
1- "Within reason, you can get whatever you want if you're aware of our options, if you test your assumptions, if you take shrewdly calculated risks based on solid information, and if you believe you have power. "
2- "You have more power sources at your fingertips than you realize! 1. The power of competition...2. The power of legitimacy. Legitimacy can be questioned and challenged. Use the power of legitimacy when it's advantageous for you to do so and challenge that power when ifs advantageous for you to do so...3. The power of risk taking You must be willing to take risks while negotiating. Risk taking involves mixing courage with common sense...4. The power of commitment...By syndicating your risk you put yourself in a position to exploit the favorable opportunity because the risk is only moderate for you...5. The power of expertise...Establish your background and credentials early in he confrontation. If you do, your statements may not even t challenged. In other words, cash in on the fact that in complicated negotiations, participants often lack specialized knowledge of certain aspects of the matter being discussed...6. The power of the knowledge of "needs" for: for: 1. The specific issues and demands, which are stated openly. 2. The real needs of the other side, which are rarely verbalized...7. The power of investment...My point is this: If you have something difficult to negotiate—an emotional issue, or a concrete item that can be stated numerically, such as price, cost, interest rate, or salary-cope with it at the end of a negotiation, after the other side has made a hefty expenditure of energy and a substantial time investment...8. The power of rewarding or punishing...If I'm aware of your perceptions and needs, and if I know you think I have power over you, I can control your behavior...9. The power of identification...You will maximize your negotiating ability if you get others to identify with you...10. The power of morality...11. The power of precedent...12. The power of persistence...Persistence is to power what carbon is to steel. By gnawing through a dike long enough even a rat can drown a nation. Most people aren't persistent enough when negotiating...13. The power of persuasive capacity...even if you present me with overwhelming evidence that I understand, should the conclusion depress me, I will remain unconvinced. Your facts and logic may be unassailable, but their acceptance will not meet my existing needs and desires...14. The power of attitude...Try to regard all encounters and situations, including your job, as a game, as the world of illusion. Pull back a little and enjoy it all."
3- "1. Since most concession behavior and settlements will occur at or even beyond the deadline, be patient. True strength often calls for the ability to sustain the tension without flight or fight. Learn to keep your automatic defense responses under control. Remain calm but keep alert for the favorable moment to act. As a general rule, patience pays. It may be that the thing 5 do, when you do not know what to do, is to do nothing. 2. In an adversary negotiation your best strategy is not to reveal your real deadline to the other side. Always keep in mind that since deadlines are the product of a negotiation they are more flexible than most people realize. the benefits and detriments that will ensue as you approach, or go beyond, the brink.3. The "other side," cool and serene as they may appear. always have a deadline. Most often, the tranquility they display outwardly masks a great deal of stress and pressure. 4. Precipitous action should be taken only when ifs guaranteed to be to your advantage. Generally speaking you cannot achieve the best outcome quickly; you can achieve it only slowly and perseveringly. Very often as you approach the deadline a shift of power will occur, presenting a creative solution or even a turnaround by the other side. The people may not change, but with the passage of tune, circumstances do."
4- "Watch the increments of concession behavior, since they send a strong message about the real limits of authority."
5- "A negotiation is more than an exchange of material obj« It is a way of acting and behaving that can develop understanding, belief, acceptance, respect, and trust. It is the manner of your approach, the tone of your voice, the attitude you convey, the methods you use, and the concern you exhibit for the other side's feelings and needs. All these things comprise the process of negotiation. Hence, the way you go about trying to obtain your objective may in and of itself meet some of the other party's needs."
6- "Let me now elaborate on how the negotiating process and reconciling opponent's needs can be used to bring about collaborative Win-Wm outcomes: I. Using the process to meet needs 2. Harmonizing or reconciling needs...In general, the reason we are at odds on an issue may stem from three areas of difference: 1. Experience 2. Information 3. Role...3. Role...Successful collaborative negotiation lies in finding out what the other side really wants and showing them a way to get it, while you get what you want."
7- "Accomplishing mutual satisfaction using the collaborative Win-Win style involves emphasis on three important activities: 1. Building trust 2. Gaining commitment 3. Managing opposition."
8- "How can you ensure that you do not make visceral opponents? My two rules are stated in terse negative terms: 1. Never forget the power of your attitude 2. Never judge the actions and motives of others."
9- "Much like a great chess master, a winning negotiator needs to know every possible strategy from the opening gambit to the end-game play. Then he can enter the event with confidence that he is prepared for every possible eventuality that might occur. Nonetheless, he strives for the best outcome that can give everyone what he wants. And he knows that compromise may be acceptable, but it's not mutually satisfying. It is a back-up, a concluding strategy that he may ultimately have to use to avoid the consequence of a deadlock."
10- "Characteristics of Phone Negotiations: 1. More misunderstanding 2. Easier to say no 3. Much quicker 4. More competitive 5. Greater risk 6. Advantage—caller...The following are some suggestions that can be effortlessly customized to help you achieve success: 1. Be the caller/ not the callee 2. Plan and prepare 3. A graceful exit 4. Discipline yourself to listen 5. Write the memorandum of agreement."
11- "To maximize your impact as a negotiator— no matter whom you are dealing with—you must personalize both yourself and the situation...Try not to negotiate on behalf of an institution or organization, no matter how large or small. Negotiate on behalf of yourself, representing the institution."
August 8, 2022
“When knowledgeable people complain about power, it is for one of two reasons:
1. They don’t like the way it’s being used. It’s being employed in a manipulative, coercive, or domineering way; power over rather than power to. Power is being abused, and the criticism is valid.
2. They don’t approve of power’s goal. If the desired end or destination is considered corrupt and exploitative, even the most appropriate means won’t make that end acceptable.
Other than in these two instances, I see no objection to the use of power.” (Page 60 of 319)
“You never “complain,” but simply make your needs and circumstances known. (Page 311 of 319)
Numbered Chapters
1. What is negotiation
2. Almost everything is negotiable
3. Getting your feet wet
PART TWO THE THREE CRUCIAL VARIABLES
4. Power
5. Time
6. Information
PART THREE STYLES OF NEGOTIATING
7. Winning at all costs: Soviet Style
8. Negotiating for mutual satisfaction
9. More on the Win-Win technique
PART FOUR NEGOTIATING ANYTHING, ANY PLACE
10. Telephone negotiations and memos of agreement
11. Moving up
12. Taking it personally
Soviet Negotiating Style (Chapter 7)
1. Extreme initial positions. They always start with tough demands or ridiculous offers that affect the other side’s expectation level.
2. Limited authority. The negotiators themselves have little or no authority to
make any concessions.
3. Emotional Tactics They get red faces, raise their voices, and act exasperated ‐horrified that they are being taken advantage of. Occasionally they will stalk out of a meeting in a huff.
4. Adversary concessions viewed as weakness. Should you give in and concede them something, they are unlikely to reciprocate.
5. Stingy in their concessions. They delay making any concession and when they finally do, it reflects only a minuscule change in their position.
6. Ignore deadlines. They tend to be patient and act as though time is of no significance to them.
Their are many techniques outlined in the book, but I read a library copy in Hoopla, which does not allow copying of quotes, so my notes are more limited. I was quite annoyed with Hoopla. Kindle is much kinder to the reader.
- Kindle allows copying of quotes. If done on a Mac desktop it even includes a citation.
- Kindle allows viewing of highlights even after the library book is returned by making them visible in Goodreads.
1. They don’t like the way it’s being used. It’s being employed in a manipulative, coercive, or domineering way; power over rather than power to. Power is being abused, and the criticism is valid.
2. They don’t approve of power’s goal. If the desired end or destination is considered corrupt and exploitative, even the most appropriate means won’t make that end acceptable.
Other than in these two instances, I see no objection to the use of power.” (Page 60 of 319)
“You never “complain,” but simply make your needs and circumstances known. (Page 311 of 319)
Numbered Chapters
1. What is negotiation
2. Almost everything is negotiable
3. Getting your feet wet
PART TWO THE THREE CRUCIAL VARIABLES
4. Power
5. Time
6. Information
PART THREE STYLES OF NEGOTIATING
7. Winning at all costs: Soviet Style
8. Negotiating for mutual satisfaction
9. More on the Win-Win technique
PART FOUR NEGOTIATING ANYTHING, ANY PLACE
10. Telephone negotiations and memos of agreement
11. Moving up
12. Taking it personally
Soviet Negotiating Style (Chapter 7)
1. Extreme initial positions. They always start with tough demands or ridiculous offers that affect the other side’s expectation level.
2. Limited authority. The negotiators themselves have little or no authority to
make any concessions.
3. Emotional Tactics They get red faces, raise their voices, and act exasperated ‐horrified that they are being taken advantage of. Occasionally they will stalk out of a meeting in a huff.
4. Adversary concessions viewed as weakness. Should you give in and concede them something, they are unlikely to reciprocate.
5. Stingy in their concessions. They delay making any concession and when they finally do, it reflects only a minuscule change in their position.
6. Ignore deadlines. They tend to be patient and act as though time is of no significance to them.
Their are many techniques outlined in the book, but I read a library copy in Hoopla, which does not allow copying of quotes, so my notes are more limited. I was quite annoyed with Hoopla. Kindle is much kinder to the reader.
- Kindle allows copying of quotes. If done on a Mac desktop it even includes a citation.
- Kindle allows viewing of highlights even after the library book is returned by making them visible in Goodreads.
December 2, 2020
(I had this book around from childhood days. We got its 'special' edition (Jaico Publishing) along with our Readers Digest subscription.)
The book starts off with the definition of negotiation and clearly lays out its 3 ingredients. You'll be surprised how different that definition is compared to how most people think about negotiation. The second part discusses a couple of contrasting styles of negotiations, and how one can identify when they are being played by an unscrupulous negotiator. In the last part of the book, you learn to tackle different situations even when things aren't exactly in your favor.
The author gets cocky at times, sometimes even reminding one of everybody's favorite Harvey Specter. He also occasionally talks about employing tactics that undoubtedly fall under the grey zone and may sound 'shady' to some. In most such instances, the author acknowledges this fact. I've read a few reviews on Goodreads referring to such instances as unethical and downright immoral. I personally would not go to such extremes in describing Cohen's tactics, especially after reading the chapter on Soviet-style negotiations. The world isn't exactly a just place: it is full of biases and corrupt folks aren't that uncommon.
One thing I really like is how the author has used the power of repetition to help learn the stuff better. A lot of buzzwords and concepts thrown earlier have dedicated chapters later. And then concepts and assumptions are recalled in similar contexts.
And one thing I do not like is how some hypothetical examples just feel contrived and impractical. Also, a lot of instances feel more relevant in the North American context but not so much in other geographies.
Overall, the book does a good job of justifying its title.
The book starts off with the definition of negotiation and clearly lays out its 3 ingredients. You'll be surprised how different that definition is compared to how most people think about negotiation. The second part discusses a couple of contrasting styles of negotiations, and how one can identify when they are being played by an unscrupulous negotiator. In the last part of the book, you learn to tackle different situations even when things aren't exactly in your favor.
The author gets cocky at times, sometimes even reminding one of everybody's favorite Harvey Specter. He also occasionally talks about employing tactics that undoubtedly fall under the grey zone and may sound 'shady' to some. In most such instances, the author acknowledges this fact. I've read a few reviews on Goodreads referring to such instances as unethical and downright immoral. I personally would not go to such extremes in describing Cohen's tactics, especially after reading the chapter on Soviet-style negotiations. The world isn't exactly a just place: it is full of biases and corrupt folks aren't that uncommon.
One thing I really like is how the author has used the power of repetition to help learn the stuff better. A lot of buzzwords and concepts thrown earlier have dedicated chapters later. And then concepts and assumptions are recalled in similar contexts.
And one thing I do not like is how some hypothetical examples just feel contrived and impractical. Also, a lot of instances feel more relevant in the North American context but not so much in other geographies.
Overall, the book does a good job of justifying its title.
December 28, 2022
Useful book to learn how professionals think about negotiating. I agree with other reviewers that the most important insight of this book is frame negotiating as a collaborative game of benefits maximization between you and the person sitting across from you. You owe it to yourself to advocate for your needs, and you also owe others the use of your creative problem-solving abilities to come to an agreement that helps them too.
I wish the book were structured differently. It starts with an intro of the elements of negotiating (information, power, time) and some brief guidelines of negotiation, where Cohen presents some ethically questionable, manipulative tactics as cornerstones of negotiating. In the next part, he goes more in detail into power, time, and information as elements of negotiating, and again it veers into manipulative territory. Understandably given that he's a negotiation professional, Cohen sees negotiating as a game, which to some extent it is -- but his advice can be easily used by readers as a playbook for how to manipulate others unethically. He redeems himself in the second half by describing the characteristics of Win-Lose competitive negotiation, and encourages readers to transition all negotiations into Win-Win problem-solving sessions. Cohen should have introduced the concept of Win-Lose vs. Win-Win negotiation from the beginning.
If you read this book, you have to prepared to think critically about which of Cohen's principles and tactics are in line with your values. Apart from that, it's a good read to understand how to negotiate and recognize manipulative people.
I wish the book were structured differently. It starts with an intro of the elements of negotiating (information, power, time) and some brief guidelines of negotiation, where Cohen presents some ethically questionable, manipulative tactics as cornerstones of negotiating. In the next part, he goes more in detail into power, time, and information as elements of negotiating, and again it veers into manipulative territory. Understandably given that he's a negotiation professional, Cohen sees negotiating as a game, which to some extent it is -- but his advice can be easily used by readers as a playbook for how to manipulate others unethically. He redeems himself in the second half by describing the characteristics of Win-Lose competitive negotiation, and encourages readers to transition all negotiations into Win-Win problem-solving sessions. Cohen should have introduced the concept of Win-Lose vs. Win-Win negotiation from the beginning.
If you read this book, you have to prepared to think critically about which of Cohen's principles and tactics are in line with your values. Apart from that, it's a good read to understand how to negotiate and recognize manipulative people.
September 9, 2019
The first chapters made me angry, the lesson seemed to be that there was just no great secret to it, to win negociations meant being a lying, manipulative, prick, ready to waste other's people time and resources, to gain leverage on them. The kind of person that ruins everyting that's good. Then things got a little more positive, of course, using such tactics is not sustainable in long term relations, commercial or otherwise, and seeking win-win results is much more interesting, the book discuss ways to avoid being taken advantage of, to share information in a smart and constructive way (disclosing too early is dangerous, but not disclosing can be detrimental as it prevent good deals to be made), but also ways to just get a better relationship with people, as empathy will improve outcomes, of course, this part can be seen as manipulative, but as with everything, it's a matter of mesure. It took me a few weeks to get through the book because i read it while commuting, and it wasn't always the most attractive thing to do, but i still wanted to get through it, while this subject is not really dear to my heart, it seems important to at least know the basics, hopefully i'll get a better shot in situations where i have to think about my side of the equation, rather than letting myself be pushed around.
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