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The Woman I Wanted to Be

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One of the most influential, admired, and innovative women of our time: fashion designer, philanthropist, wife, mother, and grandmother, Diane von Furstenberg offers a book about becoming the woman she wanted to be.

Diane von Furstenberg started out with a suitcase full of jersey dresses and an idea of who she wanted to be- "in her words, the kind of woman who is independent and who doesn't rely on a man to pay her bills." She has since become that woman, establishing herself as a global brand and a major force in the fashion industry, all the while raising a family and maintaining "my children are my greatest creation."

In The Woman I Wanted to Be, von Furstenberg reflects on her extraordinary life from childhood in Brussels to her days as a young, jet-set princess, to creating the dress that came to symbolize independence and power for an entire generation of women. With remarkable honesty and wisdom, von Furstenberg mines the rich territory of what it means to be a woman. She opens up about her family and career, overcoming cancer, building a global brand, and devoting herself to empowering other women, writing, "I want every woman to know that she can be the woman she wants to be."

256 pages, Hardcover

First published March 4, 2014

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About the author

Diane Von Furstenberg

38 books153 followers
Diane von Fürstenberg (born Diane Simone Michelle Halfin) is a fashion designer best known for her hallmark wrap dress.

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5 stars
1,170 (26%)
4 stars
1,415 (31%)
3 stars
1,280 (28%)
2 stars
409 (9%)
1 star
153 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 423 reviews
Profile Image for Heidi The Reader.
1,395 reviews1,535 followers
September 19, 2017
The Woman I Wanted to Be is the life story of the incomparable Diane Von Furstenberg. She starts with her parents' harrowing early life in war torn Europe and continues through her own tumultuous love affairs and child rearing years. After a personal first half, the second half of her book is dedicated to how she entered and eventually became a living icon in the world of fashion.

I really enjoyed this book.

In an era where the media glorifies women who show off their bodies, cling to powerful men, and descend into drug addictions, Diane personifies the empowered woman who shows what she can do and build rather than living on how she looks or scandal.

That's not to say that Diane hasn't had a wild life, she has, but she owns it, has evolved from it and built it into an empire.

There are many moments in The Woman I Wanted to Be where Diane failed to be that woman. But instead of becoming mired in failure (she had to sell her business two separate times to avoid bankruptcy), she persevered to become a household name.

At another point, she gave up her identity and her business to spend time with a man who wanted her to be a blank slate. He ended up leaving her for someone else.

Diane didn't crawl into a hole and wilt then either. With grace and dignity, she re-entered life and the fashion world. Diane went on to experience an even greater level of success than she had before her exit.

Diane provides some great general advice for life such as: when bad things happen, they can actually be good things.

Also, never play the victim- take responsibility for your life.

Embrace your age, whatever it may be.

These philosophies have enabled Diane to rise above any obstacles that have appeared in her path. She is an excellent role model and it was such fun to read about her incredibly exciting and almost unbelievably successful life.

Readers who enjoyed Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail and She Got Up Off the Couch: And Other Heroic Acts from Mooreland, Indiana may enjoy this memoir.

It's far more glamorous than either of those two selections, but the underlying themes of female empowerment and reaching for the life of your dreams despite all the odds, are the same.

I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads First Reads. FTC guidelines: check!
Profile Image for Anna.
56 reviews12 followers
October 2, 2015
An interesting life yes, a very lucky life to have been afforded so much. However this book reads like one long who's who of the 'elite' that she knows or knew personally. It is vacuous and self indulgent. Sad. As I'm sure with some better editing it would not have come across as so irritating.
Profile Image for Gratiela.
10 reviews6 followers
March 2, 2016
i wanted to like this book, i really did. but it was nothing more than a looooong list of important people she knows or knew, exquisite places she traveled to and things money can buy. Not for a single second was I inspired by her. Everything seemed just handed out to her on a silver place, despite her constant reminder that she was working towards being "the women she wanted to be" - i don't even understand what kind of women is that. This books comes across like "braging about how rich i am" and i am deeply dissapointed by it.
Profile Image for Regina.
75 reviews12 followers
December 29, 2014
DVF has led an interesting life, but the most fascinating parts of this book definitely come closer to the end -- with some valuable insights about beauty and aging and about building (and rebuilding and rebuilding) a business. If you're looking for a tell-all, you'll be disappointed -- Diane is not a lady who spills the tea on anyone; in fact, she is remarkably NICE about pretty much everyone she's come into contact with, which is both a little charming and a little frustrating. While DVF offers some sobering background history - her mother was a concentration camp survivor - much of the years of her adolescence and early adulthood read more like a who's who/socialite's diary than an in-depth memoir. I came away feeling like I'd absolutely love to read a biography of her, rather than a memoir by her.
Profile Image for Cooper.
552 reviews11 followers
December 20, 2015
I admire DVF for her talented skills as a designer. Sadly, in this book she presents herself as a woman who has led an interesting life in an impulsive manner and with no regards to consequences. During the times in her life things did not go well for her brand, she's quick to blame others. During the time her brand did exceptionally well, it was all her. Her lack of humility and recognition that who she was (married to a prince) helped open doors for her.

When she lived in NY, she wasn't living in squalid conditions trying to get her pieces recognized by retailers. Towards the end when she states her goals had shifted from finding financial independence, I was like, 'girlfriend, you were either married to money or dating someone with money. I don't think you ever starved for your craft.' There's nothing wrong having men of wealth in your life, but own it. It was her talent that kept her at the top. Like all of us, she just needed that extra boost to get her in front of the right people.

Listen, bravo to her. I have several of her dresses in my wardrobe and I LOVE them! She is smart, talented, and fierce. I wish those traits had come through the book. As Anna (a previous reviewer) stated, this book could have come across as less self indulgent and vacuous with some quality editing.
Profile Image for Valeria Lipovetsky.
19 reviews7,444 followers
April 12, 2020
#VLbookclub the woman I wanted to be by Diane Von Furstenberg was the first book that ignited that drive in me to go out there and find out what kind of woman I wanted to be. I read this book when I was 24 (5 years ago), I already had 2 kids and a pretty comfortable way of life that just didn’t feel quite right, like I haven’t met all of me yet. This book got me thinking, taught me to listen to myself, to visualize and make moves that didn’t necessarily make sense back then but ended up being the path to my self discovery. Through sharing her story of resilience, drive and life adventures - she prompted me to go after mine.
Profile Image for J.
2,152 reviews
January 4, 2022
Every DVF interview I've read, I've really enjoyed. Her timeless advice in InStyle magazine is always spot on + I've always admired her. Her book, however, was rather disappointing + dry. The only thing I found interesting was her advice to women to become a myth for whatever it is that they do well when they're deep into their forties. But I was a little shocked (and dismayed) that she seemed rather flippant about cheating and affairs with married men.
Profile Image for Donna.
4,145 reviews110 followers
June 22, 2016
This book is Diane Von Furstenberg's autobiography and the audio is read by her. I loved her telling of her own personal story. She seems to have lived a charmed life, but she also worked hard to be who she wanted to be and to get what she wanted. Her list of accomplishments is long.

I particularly enjoyed the story about her mother and the building of her business. She also talked much about her family. But I noticed that her brother was mentioned only about 3 times and always in passing...never in detail. She doesn't talk bad about anyone... as a mother with teens, I'm always paying attention to what they are not saying, and I found myself doing the same with this book. It just made me wonder...that's all.

Overall, this toggled around a little too much for my liking. This book also felt a little long, but she has such a positive outlook on life and relationships. Her views are timeless and inspirational. So 4 stars, because I enjoyed her optimistic outlook on everything. I felt I needed to channel more of that in my own life.



Profile Image for Susan.
Author 6 books103 followers
September 6, 2022
You will be massively disappointed if you’re looking for a rags to riches story. This is a riches to riches story.

If you are looking for a riches to riches story, then pick something else, because this one is extremely boring.
40 reviews2 followers
July 23, 2015
I couldn't finish it. The recitation of glamorous locales and personalities doesn't make for a very good book. Everyone, just read the first chapter or two. I made it half-way and it never got nearly as interesting, even through divorce, childbirth, and the career which serves as a foot note to yet more boring details about some parties that don't hold a candle to even the standard Vanity Fair write-up. BOOOOOOOOO.
Profile Image for Annasnova.
393 reviews
November 27, 2015
Excellent light read, which sounds like a modern fairy-tale in full meaning of that word. Especially liked the first 2 parts - on love, family, and beauty. I didn't know about the wrap dress before reading this book! At times, though, I found all the name-dropping a bit tiresome and some parts felt a bit unreal and too polished.
Profile Image for Angela.
10 reviews9 followers
July 13, 2015
Great book! Diane is truly inspirational and a beautiful soul. I felt good reading through the entire book, I could not put it down. She has had a fascinating life and is the quintessential of an "It" girl!
Profile Image for BarbaraW.
446 reviews15 followers
April 8, 2017
Fascinating woman. Powerful influence on fashion industry and one is able to walk with her as she becomes wildly successful- with a few bumps along the way.
Profile Image for Roni Blanche.
64 reviews2 followers
December 21, 2014
If you ever wondered why most of my book reviews are of memoirs or biographies, The Woman I Wanted To Be is why. Despite reading being one of my fave things to do, time to just sit and have a leisurely read-fest is limited. In order to get the biggest bang for my buck -- to be entertained as well as to learn something new -- I gravitate to reading what is REAL. Plus I guess I'm a bit of a voyeur and enjoy peeping inside another person's life without being considered a stalker. Believe me, a book doesn't get any more real, more entertaining, more full of wisdom out the wazoo, and more behind-closed-doors titillating than The Woman I Wanted To Be by Diane von Furstenberg!

I have admired DVF since her explosion into the Seventies fashion scene with the wrap dress. She and her clingy, jersey dresses were the epitome of Studio 54 sexy chic! I envied her wild flaming red hair, her sensual confidence, her European sophistication and style, and her real-life princess turned fashion designer fairytale-like journey. Now, after reading her book, I know she is a woman just like me -- often unsure; sometimes taking wrong turns; struggling with aging and feeling good about yourself in a youth-obsessed world; and striving to live your life as true and full as possible so in the end there are no regrets -- and I admire her even more. Through it all, the many highs and lows and reincarnations of herself and her brand, DVF has focused on "the woman she wants to be" and kept marching forward to make that happen. Thank you, Diane, for showing me the way as well!

In order not to quote the whole damn book (it's that good, but I want you to read it for yourself!), I'll share just a few of the passages that I will carry with me as I march forward:

On facing challenges: "When I have an obstacle in front of me, especially of someone else's making, I say 'OK. I don't like it, but I can't change it, so let's find a way around it.' Then I find a different path to a solution, which so satisfies me that I forget what the problem was in the first place. Of all the lessons my mother drummed into me, that was perhaps the most important. How could you possibly better yourself if you didn't face your challenges up front or if you laid your problems off on someone or something else and didn't learn from them?"

Beauty is: "Character. Intelligence. Strength. Style. That makes beauty. All these attributes form beauty, and personality, that elusive state of being that is not necessarily perfect."

The truth about aging: "Aging is out of your control. How you handle it, though, is in your hands."

"And never, ever lie about your age. Who can lie with the Internet anyway? To embrace your age is to embrace your life. Lying about your age, or about anything for that matter, is the beginning of trouble; it is the beginning of lying about who you are. What is important is to live fully every single day of every period of every age so that no time gets wasted."

"The best thing about aging, I have come to understand, is that you have a past. No one can take that away, so you'd better like it. That is why it is so important to waste no time. By living fully every day, you create your life and that becomes your past, a rich past."

"In my older face, I see my life. Every wrinkle, every smile line, every age spot. My life is written on my face. There is a saying that with age, you look outside what you are inside. If you are someone who never smiles your face gets saggy. If you're a person who smiles a lot, you will have more smile lines. Your wrinkles reflect the roads you've taken; they form the map of your life. My face reflects the wind and sun and rain and dust from the trips I've taken. My curiosity and love of life have filled me with colors and experiences and I wear them all with gratitude and pride. My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?"

Becoming the woman you want to be: "You cannot have a good relationship with anyone, unless you first have it with yourself. Once you have that, any other relationship is a plus, and not a must. Become your best friend; it is well worth it. It takes a lot of work and it can be painful because it requires honesty and discipline. It means you have to accept who you are, see all your faults and weaknesses. Having done that, you can correct, improve, and little by little discover the things you do like about yourself and start to design your life. There is no love unless there is truth and there is nothing truer than discovering and accepting who you really are. By being critical, you will find things you dislike as well as things you like, and the whole package is who you are. The whole package is what you must embrace and the whole package is what you have control of. It is you! Everything you think, do, like, becomes the person you are and the whole thing weaves into a life, your life."

"I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I knew the woman I wanted to become."

Beyond all the life lessons Diane imparts, this memoir is packed full of celebrity tidbits, behind-the-scenes glimpses of the fashion industry, tales of her travels around the globe, a fabulous photo gallery, and juicy details of the many loves of a woman who likes to fall in love. Loved it, loved it all!

What a fascinating and inspiring woman DVF was, is, and will continue to become!
Profile Image for Janeen.
80 reviews18 followers
December 5, 2014
3.5 stars
I am huge fan of Diane von Fustenberg and her clothes. Over the past four or five years, DVF's wise words have appeared online via social media and in different magazine profiles and I loved it (and her). I was super on board for the memoir. MEH. The book has two parts: The Woman I Am and The Business of Fashion (Each part has three chapters). The first part, The Woman I Am, really details her charmed life: schooling in different countries, a host of lovers, ultimate jet-setting, marrying a prince in a custom Dior gown. I realized there was no way she wouldn't succeed...it was a lay-up for her and that skewed my starry-eyed admiration for her. As much as I realize she can't help that she was born with privilege, I still grew bored reading about this. She has a chapter called "Beauty" -- which is rich in women's empowerment and worth reading. The business half of the book was what I expected but longed for more of it. I really didn't care about her charmed life, I love her go-getter, joie de vivre, business savvy. The book has some fantastic words and truly explains how she became the woman she wanted to be - but you can get that from her vibrant magazine profiles instead of reading this brand book dressed up as a memoir.
Profile Image for Hanje Richards.
586 reviews29 followers
January 18, 2015
Meh. It was kind of fun to read about this fashion icon, but it could have been a little shorter! I remember the first time I heard about Diane Von Furstenberg was the year I was a nanny in New York City. There was an article about her and the Prince in New York Magazine. This article is referenced in the book as one of the contributing factors in the break-up of Diane and the Prince. (so I felt really in-the-know having read the article at the time it was published!) It was a quick read, but I got a little tired of DVF becoming BFF with everyone she ever met and everyone she ever worked with. Really? Is it possible to have that many BFFs? I am hoping that someday I will be able to own and wear a DVF wrap dress. But, if I don't that's okay too.
Profile Image for Allegra.
42 reviews
November 20, 2014
I usually devour books, reading them quickly. This book didn't allow me to do that. DVF is so candid and giving in this book, that it was a conversation that I didn't want to end. I wanted to soak up all the knowledge, confidence, generosity and grace that DVF shares.
6 reviews1 follower
December 23, 2023
Now I know everything about DVF’s love life but I wanted the business plan :(
Profile Image for Georgia Clark.
Author 10 books877 followers
April 9, 2017
Listened to this as an audiobook and could not get enough of DVF's rolling Belgian accent telling me about becoming the woman she wanted to be. I read this as research for my new novel which features a fashion design character, but I was also interested in DVF's story as a female entrepreneur. Even for someone not personally in the fashion world, I really enjoyed it. DVF is a powerhouse and once, I saw her in her flagship store in the Meat-packing district and she said hello.
Profile Image for Deb in UT.
1,375 reviews18 followers
September 12, 2018
Another book written by a strong, independent, career-minded, narcissistic, talented, experienced, worldly woman. Not me. I actually laughed out loud during the section about her romances. Wow. I've been loyally married to the same man for almost thirty years. Should I feel naive and boring or proud? I can't imagine living any other way. She definitely complicated her life with her choices, though it's clear they have contributed to who she is. I do admire all the traveling she has done-- all the vacationing, yachting, and hiking that she's experienced all round the world. She's lived a full and exotic life. It would be nice to have that kind of money. Or would it?

I do like that she wants to empower women. She has inspired me to think about what kind of woman I want to be. I'm not sure I've ever truly asked myself that question. I definitely wouldn't want her challenges, but I admire her in other ways. I like what she says about self confidence, how she decides to confidently smile for the camera and says that personality and confidence are what's beautiful. She's not all about the outward appearance. So, I'm glad I read the book, but I wouldn't recommend it.
Profile Image for Janet.
670 reviews15 followers
September 17, 2019
This memoir certainly has its share of jetsetting glitz. But the book starts with a tribute to her mother who at 22 only weighed 59 lbs. after 13 months in Auschwitz and Ravensbruck. She had been a Jewish resistance fighter in Belgium. Diane was born in 1946, just one and a half years after liberation. Later in the book she discusses her bout of tongue cancer at the age of 47.

A serendipitous fact of this book, for me, was that DvF moved from 57th and 5th down to a gray carriage house on west 12th St. in the meatpacking district where Diane met a lot of colorful characters. One of them was Florent Morellet, who took over the 1943 space in 1985 and turned it into a 24/7 bistro. Together they created the Gansevoort Historic District. I met my wonderful husband in Florent in early 1994.
Profile Image for Samantha.
273 reviews3 followers
December 29, 2015
I was surprised how quick a read this was. It was an interesting look behind the scenes of a pretty glamorous life. I appreciated the humility about her business experience and the history behind such an iconic fashion item. I also really loved the note about her hair being a barometer for her self-confidence. And the pictures were fantastic! Kudos to the team that put those inserts together—I would have read a picture book on this topic, so I appreciated how many photos they were, and how well they corresponded to the story. Definitely a bit name-droppy and certainly a little fluffy, but a fun, inspiring, and truly positive memoir.
Profile Image for Cassie P.
14 reviews2 followers
September 21, 2016
I listened on audible and loved that it was narrated by DVF herself. It was very interesting to hear about her incredibly diverse life and openness to new experiences. There were definitely parts I related to with a career in the fashion industry. Overall I felt she oversimplified some events and found the way chapters were divided to be a bit confusing (not in chronological order, but by topic) although it did keep the book moving. I give it 3.5 stars but round up because she's such an inspiration.
Profile Image for Jillian Eliza.
393 reviews
May 21, 2015
2015 Reading Challenge -- A book you own but have never read

I received this book through Goodreads First Reads. I've read some of Diane Von Furstenberg's articles online and in magazines. This book was an interesting story about her life, and I enjoyed learning more about her. It also includes beautiful photos!
Profile Image for Syed Bukhari.
40 reviews
May 5, 2015
a personal memoir that effortlessly describes her romantic life with multiple lovers and how she became the woman she is today quite practically. Born to holocaust survivors, she grows up on to marry a prince, affairs with writers, actors and then marries a longtime friend TV mogul.
The journey of Wrap dress followed by her dabbles in licesigning deals gone awry and then a resurgence in the end.
Profile Image for Lindsay.
521 reviews
November 21, 2014
Very inspiring. Her story is amazing and has something for everyone. I'm not super interested in fashion but enjoyed learning about her start with an Italian factory, her relationships, and her businesses. I wish I had gone to her exhibit at LACMA but I'm glad I heard her speak at the Skirball.
August 17, 2015
This was one of the best autobiographies i've ever read. DVF is compelling, honest, and incredibly resilient in ways that I had not realized. This is a wonderful book for anyone looking for some entrepreneurial inspiration.
Profile Image for Jasmine.
2 reviews
April 17, 2018
Great book! Lots of insights into the fashion industry, DVF, and her eponymous brand. It's nice to read such an honest and transparent story of her struggles and rise to fame and fortune.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 423 reviews

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