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On Love and Loneliness

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In 1950 Krishnamurti "It is only when the mind is not escaping in any form that it is possible to be in direct communion with that thing we call lonliness, the alone, and to have communion with that thing, there must be affection, there must be love." On Love and Lonliness is a compelling investigation of our intimate relationships with ourselves, others, and society. Krishnamurti suggests that "true relationship" can come into being only when there is self-knowledge of the conditions which divide and islolate individuals and groups. Only by renouncing the self can we understand the problem of lonliness, and truly love.

155 pages, Paperback

First published April 8, 1994

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About the author

J. Krishnamurti

985 books3,858 followers
Jiddu Krishnamurti was born on 11 May 1895 in Madanapalle, a small town in south India. He and his brother were adopted in their youth by Dr Annie Besant, then president of the Theosophical Society. Dr Besant and others proclaimed that Krishnamurti was to be a world teacher whose coming the Theosophists had predicted. To prepare the world for this coming, a world-wide organization called the Order of the Star in the East was formed and the young Krishnamurti was made its head.

In 1929, however, Krishnamurti renounced the role that he was expected to play, dissolved the Order with its huge following, and returned all the money and property that had been donated for this work.

From then, for nearly sixty years until his death on 17 February 1986, he travelled throughout the world talking to large audiences and to individuals about the need for a radical change in humankind.

Krishnamurti is regarded globally as one of the greatest thinkers and religious teachers of all time. He did not expound any philosophy or religion, but rather talked of the things that concern all of us in our everyday lives, of the problems of living in modern society with its violence and corruption, of the individual's search for security and happiness, and the need for humankind to free itself from inner burdens of fear, anger, hurt, and sorrow. He explained with great precision the subtle workings of the human mind, and pointed to the need for bringing to our daily life a deeply meditative and spiritual quality.

Krishnamurti belonged to no religious organization, sect or country, nor did he subscribe to any school of political or ideological thought. On the contrary, he maintained that these are the very factors that divide human beings and bring about conflict and war. He reminded his listeners again and again that we are all human beings first and not Hindus, Muslims or Christians, that we are like the rest of humanity and are not different from one another. He asked that we tread lightly on this earth without destroying ourselves or the environment. He communicated to his listeners a deep sense of respect for nature. His teachings transcend belief systems, nationalistic sentiment and sectarianism. At the same time, they give new meaning and direction to humankind's search for truth. His teaching, besides being relevant to the modern age, is timeless and universal.

Krishnamurti spoke not as a guru but as a friend, and his talks and discussions are based not on tradition-based knowledge but on his own insights into the human mind and his vision of the sacred, so he always communicates a sense of freshness and directness although the essence of his message remained unchanged over the years. When he addressed large audiences, people felt that Krishnamurti was talking to each of them personally, addressing his or her particular problem. In his private interviews, he was a compassionate teacher, listening attentively to the man or woman who came to him in sorrow, and encouraging them to heal themselves through their own understanding. Religious scholars found that his words threw new light on traditional concepts. Krishnamurti took on the challenge of modern scientists and psychologists and went with them step by step, discussed their theories and sometimes enabled them to discern the limitations of those theories. Krishnamurti left a large body of literature in the form of public talks, writings, discussions with teachers and students, with scientists and religious figures, conversations with individuals, television and radio interviews, and letters. Many of these have been published as books, and audio and video recordings.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 75 reviews
Profile Image for Megan.
40 reviews
March 29, 2008
This book taught me everything I needed to know about getting over James Ashby.
Profile Image for Mark.
Author 5 books58 followers
April 14, 2011
Profoundly anti-intellectual, this collection of lectures and Socratic dialogues between Krishnamurti and his students attempts to peddle tautologies as profound ideas and perverts more or less normative Buddhist thinking into anti-materialist dogma. The basic idea of the book is that human existence is loneliness because the fact of your existence necessarily leads to attachments, and attachments separate you from true love, which requires the annihilation of the ego. Well, okay, Yoda, I get it: life is a veil of suffering. 50 friends means 50 woes, I get it! The cheeseburger that can be eaten is not the true cheeseburger! ALL RIGHT already!

If this were merely a collection of pseudo-Eastern talks that trotted out standard Beatles/Hare Krishna/too-much-hash-in-the-suburbs "spirituality," that would be one thing, but the logic of the presentations is so circular and Krishnamurti so annoyingly didactic that it drives you to distraction. According to this book, reading this book will not help you find connection or understand love because thinking AT ALL only causes you to be lonelier. Thanks for the advice! What shall I do with my freaking brain, then, J Krish? Thinking is the only thing it's good for! Why don't I just stop breathing, as well, since I'm clearly way too attached to this oxygen. May I have a glass of water, please? Yes yes, I know, we're separated from the godhead, but may I please have a glass of water and read a Ziggy cartoon, or must I return to the void RIGHT NOW?? Come on, dude.

Now I'm going to go shave my head and chant "gorilla gorilla gorilla" at the airport until somebody feeds me a Cinnabon with triple frosting.
Profile Image for mahesh.
240 reviews15 followers
August 16, 2023
Love and loneliness book explores and analyzes the relationship we have established with ourselves, others, and an enormous sickening society. As usual, he is not trying to negate or against any particular ideology, Krishnamurthy just wants us to observe everything we do and say with discipline which is free of beginning and destiny. Every preacher tells us to run away or think positively whenever we face a struggle or negative situation, But Krishnamurthy wants us to deal with it, not with the intention of eradicating it or fleeing from it. He wants us to sit with it and understand it, then only we can establish direct contact with it. He wants everyone to meet loneliness and solitude with love, love that has no image, fear, or needs. Only with love and pure observation we can face loneliness.

I have been reading Jiddu Krishnamurthy for too long. The more I learn from him, the more I realize, that the world walked so far from the ideal world he has imagined it to be. He might have felt bad if he has seen how the world and humans are rotten in this progressive world.

It's always refreshing to read Krishnamurthy to keep sanity and humanity alive even though I am a proud citizen of a sickening society.
Profile Image for Leila.
109 reviews36 followers
January 30, 2024
زیبایی آنجا هست که "تو" نیستی.
حقیقت آنجا هست که "تو" نیستی.
زیبایی، عشق و همه‌ی خوبی‌ها آنجا هست که "شما" نیستید.
پس
خامش باش بی لا و بلی.
41 reviews
July 15, 2012
It's a compicated read at the beggining if you are merely reading the words, merely thinking that jiddu's words are magical, in my opinion as you start reading it it becomes obvious that you have to experience these words according to your view of the world. Krishnamurti is not a teacher he is merely a mirror that tells you to look into yourself, in that image that you see reflected you will find, ideas, ideals, prejudices, fears, all of which most of us reject and just conform to the "norm". I believe he is right in saying we must look deeply into ourselves, and discover for ourselves how we can deal with loneliness, and look for this misterious thing called LOVE.
Profile Image for Puri Kencana Putri.
351 reviews39 followers
February 18, 2014
"So when you ask what love is, you may be too frightened to see the answer. It may mean complete upheaval; it may break up the family; you may discover that you do not love your wife or husband or children - do you? - you may have to shatter the house you have built, you may never go back to the temple.

But if you still want to find out, you will see that fear is not love, dependence is not love, jealousy is not love, possessiveness and domination are not love, responsibility and duty are not love, self-pity is not love, the agony of not being loved is not love, love is not the opposite of hate any more than humility is the opposite of vanity.

So if you can eliminate all these, not by forcing them but by washing them away as the rain washes the dust of many days from a leaf, then perhaps you will come upon this strange flower which man always hungers after." - Jiddu Krishnamurti.

This one will always strike an inconvenient chord in my heart. Painfully yet beautiful words.
Profile Image for Michael.
Author 2 books381 followers
January 30, 2019
191113: surprised i enjoyed this, as many questions are offered but mostly only inferred answers. krishnamurti is here in conversation or lectures that are so friendly, so open, in offering his thoughts. mostly, he seems to have focused in this collection, on love and loneliness, the first too often attached, corrupted, misunderstood, the latter all too prevalent in our human lives...

krishnamurti suggests that we should answer ourselves, he is kind of an 'anti-guru', an assertion of no dogma, no method, no certain beliefs in God or religion or ideology or even in any religious/philosophical figures (like him). there is a profound, perhaps frustrating, insistence on the value of emotion, of passion, which is by understanding what love truly is, rather than rational thought, which by application so essentially chops up reality and enforces the loneliness, by separating, by analyzing, by setting up so many modes of thought which is only shared as method secular or religious...

i think 'philosophical psychology' this is the best description i can imagine on his way of being...
Profile Image for Steve Woods.
619 reviews69 followers
January 29, 2013
Therevare books and there are books, this book is probably one of the most important I have read in my lifetime. While it adresses the basic issue of every human life, our relationships with self and others it has been particularly relevant to me now. Maybe that's because at an age over 60 we all tend in some way to review our lives well lived or otherwise. This critical issues of alones versus lonliness, the attached love we all seem to run to in order to avoid that particular suffering and the places that dance will take us to has been the central core of my life, the sense of the "black hole" were absolute and totally dominant throughout my first 50 years. The drive to fill that hole having led me into places where no one should ever go and to do things that noone should ever have to learn to live with was something I thought would never change. It was the line of separation, that which made me different, unacceptable, indeed ireemdeemably a force for evil in my own eyes regardless of what the outside of nmy life may have looked like.

It has cahnged as I have finally surrendered to the spiritual nature of my dilemma, I am, always have been and aleways will be powerless in the face of it, and there is nothing"I" can do to fix it. It is only through my fumbling navigation of the very principles and understandings that Krishnamurti outlines here that has led me to a place where at least now I can see. Starnagley, paradoxically but just as he indicates as I have made my way into the wrold of aloneness has my sense of separation from others;"me' versus "them" has begun to bleed out of me. The operative word is "bleed" for indeed through that process I have bled. The gradual acceptance, not resignation to, of my own suffering has yileded the light to which I must constantly turn in the understanding that I am you and you are me, that my mind, my thought is the barrier and compassion is the answer for me.

Now that has to be born every minute of every day and that always requires the surrender on mind, the self, particularly the wounded self that has driven me like a violent storm through my own life and the lives of those around me. I was a terrible way to live and I inflicted in its throws great harm. I am blessed by the genius and insight of this great man and his constantly compassionate committment to share his understanding with all of us.

If nothing else this book ahd made the path a little clearer and confirmed the direction for me, counterintuitive and frightening though it so often seems
Profile Image for Amirtha Shri.
246 reviews62 followers
April 29, 2020
'You will know love when the mind is very still and free from its search for gratification and escapes.'

'Loneliness is the awareness of complete isolation; and are not our activities self- enclosing? Though our thoughts and emotions are expansive, are they not exclusive and dividing?'

What is love and why is loneliness? That's the question that made me lift this book to seek opinions from someone who dauntlessly approaches the heart of abstract matters. In terms of love, he peels off layer after layer the preconceived notions and sentiments attached to this term to arrive at an untainted state of being. As for loneliness, he identifies the 'self' that bolsters this feeling and suggests to dissolve this process of exclusiveness to alleviate or even vanquish it. It is important to sit with these words and observe the impact of these statements to understand how you feel about these concepts and it helps that they are repeated through the compilation of talks and letters.
Profile Image for Scot.
504 reviews29 followers
February 21, 2014
A brilliant reminder that we do not need a guru, psychoanalyst or even a book to grow, we simply need self-observation. This book is a collection of various lectures and talks that Krishnamurti gave throughout his life focused on one topic that strikes fear in all (loneliness) and another that is completely misunderstood and taken for granted (love). There is no getting over the truth that we are all truly alone, no matter where we live, who we love, or who we surround ourselves with and rather than be deflated by this, we have the opportunity to really dive into our suffering, our egotism, and our selfish desires to see these attachments and move through them. It is then and only then that we can truly find peace and love. Recommended for those that wish to explore more deeply their own feelings of loneliness and not recommended for any that hope to be told the answers.
Profile Image for nzoz.
17 reviews10 followers
February 6, 2013
Krishnamurti believes that relationships are selfish and the only acceptable form of love is unconditional. A must read for the "open relationship" crowd.

To me, it seems like he doesn't want to be human.
Profile Image for Naim.
81 reviews23 followers
July 30, 2023
Far too many sweeping statements.
Left a little disappointed.
Profile Image for Suha.
130 reviews26 followers
September 15, 2018
3* Creamy mushroom soup. I picked this book to accompany me during my trek in Kashmir; and I think it was a great fit for the journey. As I was going through a difficult time myself, on love and loneliness got me to question the love I have for myself, and my surrounding and to understand better the difference between loneliness and aloneness. It sets a series of unanswerable questions but gets you digging into them and reflecting on them.
The style is a bit chaotic and the ideas somehow repetitive but that’s fine. This is not a book to read for the literary value it presents but for the spiritual knowledge you might get.
Certainly, it is not very practical and somehow idealistic, but still I found in it serene stillness and calmness that I was looking for so it basically gave me a feeling more than knowledge.
If you’re looking for a book that could teach you a thing or two about yourself while giving you feelings of peace and stillness then this one is a good pick.
I quote:
“So is love pleasure? Is love put together by thought? Is love envy? Can anyone love who is envious, who is greedy, ambitious, violent, conforming, obeying, totally in disorder? So what is love? It is not any of these things, obviously. It is not pleasure. Pleasure is sustained by thought; therefore thought is not love. Thought cannot cultivate love. It can and does cultivate the pursuit of pleasure, as it does fear, but thought cannot create love, or put it together. See the truth. See it and you will put away your ambition, your greed, altogether. So through negation you come to the most extraordinary thing called love, which is the most positive.”
“What is the relationship between the pursuit of pleasure and love? Apparently, both go together.”
“I want to see the sunset, I want to look at the trees, full of the beauty of the earth. It is not my earth or your earth, it is ours.”
“So fortunately, there is this feeling of love, perhaps clouded, perhaps besmirched and ugly, but there is still that feeling fortunately for you and me; otherwise you and I would not have been educated, would not exist.”
“Why our lives empty? Though we are vert active, though we write books and go to cinemas, though we play, love, and go to the office, yet our lives are empty, boring, mere routine. Why are our relationships so tawdry, empty, and without much significance? We know our own lives sufficiently well to be aware that our existence has very little meaning.”
“You must love the thing to understand it. Love is the only revolution, and love is not a theory, not an idea, it does not follow any book or any patter of social behavior; it is to be found only when the mind, which is thought, is not seeking an escape for loneliness.”
“There can be freedom from fear only when there is self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom, which is the ending of fear.”
“The man who runs away from himself, from his own emptiness, whose escape is his search for God, is on the same level as the drunkard.”
“You know, when you have a small child with you, you listen to its cries, you listen to its words, its murmurs. You are so concerned you listen; you may be asleep, but the moment he cries you wake up. You are attentive all the time because the child is yours, you must care for it, you must love it, you must hold it. Now with the same quality of attention, affection, care, you give to every movement of that child, could you watch the mirror which is yourself?”
“Beauty exists only in the flowering of goodness”.
“You will find out what love is and what sorrow is when your mind has rejected all explanations and is no longer imagining no longer seeking the cause, no longer indulging in words or going back in memory to its own pleasures and pains.
Your mind must be completely quiet, without a word, without a symbol, without an idea.”
“You know, a flower that has perfume is not concerned who comes to smell it, or who turns his back upon it.”

Profile Image for Zeina Tantawy.
8 reviews27 followers
October 25, 2014
The words of Krishnamurti will leave you drowning in a sea of questions and general contemplation. This book did enlighten me in many ways as to how we have come to view matters of the heart and the mind. I do feel, however, that the state of mental and emotional independence that he is talking about is achievable over years and years of conditioning. To view love, or to love, with no attachment or expectations to follow suit is a matter that few can adhere to. The part that really stuck though is our inclination to name certain emotions, when the act of defining them actually hinders our ability to feel them. When you label love as love then that opens doors to repercussive emotions that should in fact not exist within the scope of love I.e jealousy, possession, attachment etc. so the very act of defining actually stops you from really experiencing love in it's purest form. Same with loneliness. When you are alone and define it as being lonely then that only makes you run away from the aloneness. And filling these voids with things that lack depth only magnifies your loneliness when they are taken away from you. Fighting an emotion only feeds it. Would only recommend if you are in a certain introspective mood. Otherwise it's pretty heavy writing to digest. It's an eye opener nonetheless.
Profile Image for Judy Croome.
Author 12 books183 followers
November 30, 2011
Although I did not enjoy this book as much as I enjoyed “Freedom from the Known,” I still found it a useful, if somewhat difficult, read. My western trained mind baulked at some of the philosophical points posed, but Krishnamurti’s ideas are good for provoking thinking outside the box of our own beliefs.

In essence he discusses the concepts of “alone-ness” versus “loneliness” and how our ability (or lack of it) to embrace the freedom of “alone-ness” will determine how lonely we are in our relationships.

As with Freedom of the Known, I found Krishnamurti quite depressing at times. I also found myself wondering whether he did, in fact, practice what he preached in his own life. Did his arrogance, no doubt springing from his supreme intelligence, hide a soul that spoke so eloquently of loneliness from a deep, personal acquaintance with that state of being? I suppose we’ll never know.

There is enough wisdom in this book to make one overlook its flaws, and it is worth spending the time exploring “On Love and Loneliness” in depth.
Profile Image for Gianluca Fiore.
Author 2 books8 followers
November 22, 2013
3 stars and not 4 because I didn't find anything new in Krishnamurti compared to the classics of Indian and Buddhist thought, which Jiddu was clearly a direct heir. This is his first book I read thus I am unaware if other books are more innovative. I do expected more insight. He reformulates some ideas and stands more with induism thought when he speaks of I and being the suffering, instead than it being not "you". The overall discourse on love and dealing with solitude is easily agreeable upon and very understandable. I don't know how some reviewers may have had an hard time understanding the book concepts. It's not Nietzsche, after all.

3 stars also because the book, which is a collection of interviews and lectures, could have done with some editing, most of the concepts are repeated more than necessary. Too much stuff in the same book. Not a specific fault of the author of course but it makes reading quite boring at times, depriving from the overall enjoyment of the process.
Profile Image for Travis Hosgood.
23 reviews1 follower
October 24, 2015
Krishnamurti is a little Buddha even if he denies Buddhism. A fascinating synthesis on love and loneliness! Two emotions that are never understood by the movement of thought. The ego image is always trying to rationalize and understand emotions when they are truly what we are. Not the image or the symbol of self, but the actual spectra of emotions or a process of the universe. Not the image that experiences. No hallucination of the knower being different from the known. We are pain and pleasure, love and loneliness. Be with them, and be still in mind and they will reveal their nature. ;)
Read
January 18, 2019
هر انسانی میتواند عشق را بشناسد؛ ولی در صورتی میتواند بشناسد که قادر به مشاهده واقعیات باشد. انسانی که واقعیات را خیلی روشن - بدون مقاومت و جبهه گیری در مقابل آن؛ بدون توجیه آن، بدون توضیح، تفسیر و تاویل آن میبیند؛ انسانی که چیزها را کاملا از نزدیک مشاهده میکند؛ قادر به درک و شناخت عشق است.کریشنامورتی عشق و تنهایی by Jiddu Krishnamurti
Profile Image for Ilastigma.
7 reviews40 followers
January 6, 2014
A difficult message for some, however, I believe Mr. Krishnamurti cuts right through the veil of human nature to get at the heart of what love isn't. Therefore opening a pathway for us to discover what true love really is.
Profile Image for Johnny Woo.
50 reviews
December 20, 2023
I’m curious. And I’m gullible. I love engaging with ideas. I find them stimulating. My process of engaging with an idea is to either immediately believe it fully or immediately reject it (because it touches some pain in how I see myself). I enjoyed this book because it questions/challenges ideas we (I) so easily and willingly accept as “that’s just the way it is.” It takes ideas like love, beauty, sorrow, loneliness, pleasure, and suffering and questions them. What IS love? What is sorrow? What is loneliness? Not where do they come from or what do they feel like, or if they are right or wrong, or what to do about it or how to solve it. Actually looking at what it is. Very frustrating and disconcerting for the individual who wants to know, “how do I take this information and figure out what to do with it.” The book is not about resolving ideas or learning what to do with them. And because I like freely moving through ideas, I often need to settle my mind and step away from the airiness of meaningless words. Looking at what a thing is helps to ground me for a moment before I take flight again. What fascinates me is when I see a concept that has been given to me and how I integrate that concept into the way I live. Concepts like status, poverty, kind, woke, evolved, intelligent, relevant, ugly, worthless, and the infinite words that mean nothing and everything at the same time. The entire movement and manifestations of words and ideas intrigues me. After reading the book I’m even challenging/questioning the notion of accepting or rejecting an idea. What happens to the mind when it accepts or rejects an idea? This book did its job. Grounded me for a moment.

…now, back to the clouds, and my journal, I go. There’s so much more to observe. See you soon.
Profile Image for Alex.
21 reviews
March 15, 2022
At times the structure of this book (extracts from speeches or dialogues which aren't contextualised) make the already complicated concepts even harder to grasp. Once I had gotten over this, however, and accepted the fact that these ideas would be repeated a lot (which helped me get them), there is a lot of interesting philosophical ideas here. He asks us to observe more than anything else and consider what we think love is. If it is possessive, jealous, restrictive, and comes from fear and lonliness, it is not love. The answer to all of our problems, according to Krishnamutri, is to stop thinking - thinking and mind are the enemy, for they give meaning to situations that simply isn't there.
Profile Image for Lyubina Litsova.
386 reviews40 followers
March 14, 2018
Никой не може да живее без да влиза във взаимоотношения. Можете да се оттеглите в планините, да станете монах, санняси, да се скитате самички в пустошта, но ще бъдете свързани с другите. Не можете да избягате от този абсолютен факт. Няма как да съществувате в изолация. Умът ви може и да си мисли, че пребивава в изолация, или да се поставите в състояние на изолация, но дори в тази изолация ще бъдете свързани. Животът е свързаност, живеенето е взаимовръзка. Няма как да живеем, ако вие и аз сме изградили стени около себе си и само понякога надникваме зад тях. Неосъзнато, дълбоко, зад стените ние сме свързани.

Тогава какво е любовта? Очевидно, тя може да се случи, когато вече не съществуват всички онези неща, които не са любов, като амбиция, съревнование, желание да бъдещ някой. Това е нашият живот: искаме да сме някой известен, да се осъществим, да знаем, да станем писатели, художници, да бъдем нещо повече. Всичко това са наши желания. Нима би могъл подобен мъж или жена да узнае какво е любов? Това означава: възможно ли е да има любов за човек, който работи за себе си, и не само в дребнав смисъл, но отъждествявайки се с държавата, с Господ, с обществените дейности, със страната си, с поредица от вярвания? Очевидно не. И все пак, това е капанът, в който сме уловени. Можем ли да осъзнаем този капан, действително да го осъзнаем – не защото някой ни го описва – да осъзнаем капана, в който сме уловени, и да го разбием? В това се състои истинската революция, а не глупавата революция с бомби и обществени промени.

И така, глупостта се поражда, когато е налице сравняване. Аз те сравнявам с някой друг и самото сравняване води до уронване на човешкото достойнство. Когато те гледам без да те сравнявам, аз се интересувам единствено от теб и от никой друг. Самата заинтересованост от теб, без сравняване, поражда човешко достойнство.

С други думи, трябва да обичате нещо, за да го разберете. Любовта е единствената революция. При това любовта не е теория, нито идея. Тя не следва никоя книга, нито какъвто и да било модел на обществено поведение.

Защо всичко, до което се докоснем, превръщаме в проблем? Направили сме Бога проблем, направили сме любовта проблем, направили сме взаимоотношенията проблем, самия живот – проблем, направили сме и секса проблем? Защо? Защо всичко, което вършим, е проблем, ужас? Защо страдаме? Защо сексът се е превърнал в проблем? Защо сме склонни да живеем с проблеми? Защо не им сложим край? Защо не умрем за проблемите си, вместо да ги влачим на гърба си ден след ден, година след година? Без съмнение, сексът е уместен въпрос, но първоначалният въпрос е: защо превръщаме живота в проблем? Работа, секс, изкарване на пари, мислене, чувстване, преживяване – разбирате ли, всичко, което се случва в живота – защо се превръща в проблем? Не е ли основно затова, че винаги разсъждаваме от една определена гледна точка, от твърдо установена перспектива? Винаги мисълта върви от центъра към периферията, обаче периферията е център за повечето от нас, затова и всичко, до което се докосваме, е повърхностно. Но животът не е повърхностен. Той изисква пълнокръвно живеене. А понеже ние живеем само повърхностно, затова и познаваме единствено повърхностните реакции.

А именно творчеството е онова, което ни прави щастливи. Да се намираш в състояние на творчество е блаженство, защото това е самозабрава, в която няма реакция от аза. Това не е някакъв абстрактен отговор на злободневния проблем със секса – това е единственият отговор. Умът отрича любовта, а без любов не съществува целомъдрие. Именно защото липсва любов, вие превръщате секса в проблем.

Готови сме на всичко, само и само да избегнем самотата, да я прикрием. Съзнателно и подсъзнателно като че ли сме заети да я избягваме и да я надмогваме. Ала и избягването, и надделяването на самотата са еднакво безполезни. Макар и потиснати или пренебрегнати, болката, проблемът продължават да съществуват. Можете да потънете в тълпата и при все това да оставате напълно самотни. Може да сте изключително активни, но самотата безмълвно се обвива около вас. Само да оставите книгата и тя е там. Развлеченията и пиянството не могат да удавят самотата. Може временно да успеете да я избегнете, но щом смехът и ефектът от алкохола секнат, страхът от самотата се завръща. Може да сте амбициозни и преуспели, може да имате голяма власт над другите, може да сте пълни със знание, можете да обожавате и да се самозабравяте в празните брътвежи на ритуалите, ала каквото и да правите, болката от самотата остава. Може да обичате или да ненавиждате, да я избягвате според различния си темперамент и психологически нужди, обаче самотата присъства, чака и наблюдава, отдръпвайки се единствено, за да се върне отново.

Обектите на стремежа може да са различни, но нима всеки копнеж не е подобен? Можете да смените обекта на своя копнеж от пиене на идеал, ала не бъде ли разбран процесът на копнеене, илюзията е неизбежна.

Така че взаимоотношенията са едно от най-важните, или по-скоро най-важното нещо в живота. Това означава, че човек трябва да разбере какво представлява любовта. Без съмнение той се натъква на отговора по странен начин, без да го търси. Когато откриете за самите себе си какво представлява любовта, тогава вече ще знаете какво е тя. Не теоретично, не вербално, но когато осъзнаете действително какво тя не е: да нямаш ум, който е съревноваващ се, амбициозен – ум, който ламти, сравнява, подражава. Подобен ум не би могъл да обича.

Човек трябва да открие за себе си какво означава да умре. Тогава няма да има вече страх. Затова всеки ден е нов ден – аз наистина го имам предвид, човек е способен да постигне това – умът ви и очите ви да виждат живота като нещо напълно ново. Това е вечността. Такова е качеството на ума, който е постигнал подобно състояние на безвремие, понеже е познал какво означава да умираш всеки ден за всичко натрупано през деня. Несъмнени в това има любов. Любовта е нещо съвършено ново всеки ден, обаче удоволствието не е, то си има продължителност. Любовта е винаги нова, затова тя сама за себе си е вечност.

Говорим за бъркотията. Живеем в бъркотия от навици, от вярвания, от изводи, от мнения.Това е един шаблон, в който съществуваме, който, понеже е ограничен, по естествен начин няма как да не поражда безпорядък. А когато някой е насред безпорядъка, да търси ред е погрешно, тъй като ум, който е объркан и нечист, в търсенето на това какво представлява реда, ще продължава да бъде объркан, ще продължава да остава несигурен. Това е ясно. Ако, обаче, се вгледате в безпорядъка, ако проумеете безпорядъка, в който живеете, както и причината за динамиката на безпорядъка, в самото това разбиране редът по естествен начни ще се прояви – лесно, щастливо, без никаква принуда, без никакъв контрол. Огледалото ви казва, че можете да откриете причините незабавно – не вербално, интелектуално или емоционално – причините за настъпването на този безпорядък, защо се е случил, стига само да вложите вниманието си, същото внимание, което отделяте на едно малко, беззащитно дете. Това означава да имате прозрение в безпорядъка.

Какво представлява нашето съзнание? Не е ли то всичко онова, което мисълта е насъбрала: формата, тялото, името, сетивата, с които мисълта се самоидентифицира, вярванията, болките, терзанията, агониите, неудобствата, депресиите и въодушевленията, ревността, притесненията, страховете, удоволствията, моята държава и твоята държава, вярата в Бога и неверието в Бога, твърдението, че Исус е най-важният, че Кришна е много по-важен, и така нататък, и така нататък. Не е ли всичко това вашето съзнание? Можете да добавите и още: аз съм загорял, би ми се искало да тежа по-малко, черен съм, но черното е красиво, и така нататък, и така нататък. Миналото, наследствеността, митологията, цялата традиция на човечеството се основават главно върху това. Всичко това е съдържанието, а докато човек не осъзнава съдържанието на съзнанието и действа, то тези действия неминуемо ще са ограничени и ще водят до безпорядък. Мисълта в своята динамика няма ка да не сътворява бъркотия, докато сама не осъзнае своето място. Знанието е ограничено и следователно си има своето подобаващо място. Това е ясно. Мисълта, породена от вчера, или от десет хиляди отминали дни, е ограничена, а следователно ограничено е и съдържанието на нашето съзнание. Така че мисълта, която не е осъзнала подобаващото ѝ се място, е самата същина на безредието.

Съществува изкуство на слушането. Думата „изкуство“ означава поставяне на всяко едно нещо на правилното му място. Ако разбирате смисъла на тази дума, истинското изкуство не е да се рисуват картини, а изкуството да сложите живота си в ред, което означава да живеете хармонично. Когато сте поставили всичко вътре в себе си на нужното място, вие сте свободни. Да се поставя всяко нещо на подобаващото му място е част от интелигентността. Ще кажете, че даваме ново определение за думата „интелигентност“. Човек трябва да го стори. Интелигентност означава да се чете между редовете, между думите, между две изречения, между казаното, слушайки винаги с бдителен, готов да чуе ум. Да слушате не само с ушите, но и без уши.

Ако сте погълнати от нещо – било то играчка, планина, лице или идея – да останете напълно без аза вътре в себе си, това е есенцията на красотата.

Какво е любовта? Запитвали ли сте се някога? Запитвали ли сте някога съпруга си или съпругата си какво е любовта? Не сте се осмелявали! Обичам ли някого? Знаете ли какво означава това? Любовта желание ли е? Любовта удоволствие ли е? Любовта привързаност ли е? Моля ви, обмислете всичко това. Любовта ревност ли е? Или сега любовта се е превърнала в сексуален акт?

Със сигурност, ако вие и родителите ви се обичахте, светът би бил ��апълно различен. Не би имало войни, не би имало глад, не би имало класови различия. Не би имало богати и бедни. Виждате ли, без любов ние се опитваме да променим обществото икономически, опитваме се да поправим нещата. Но докато нямаме любов в сърцата си, не можем да въдворим обществена структура, която да е лишена от конфликти и страдания.

Да сложиш край на скръбта означава да застанеш пред лицето на факта на собствената си самота, на своята привързаност, на жалките си дребнави изисквания за слава, на глада си да бъдеш обичан. Това означава да се избавиш от загрижеността за себе си и от детинщината на самосъжалението. И когато човек е преминал отвъд всичко това и вероятно е поставил край на личната си скръб, все още остава необятната колективна скръб, скръбта на света. Човек може да приключи със собствената си скръб, заставайки вътрешно лице в лице с факта и с причината за скръбта – а това ще се случи единствено с ум, който е напълно свободен. Но когато е приключил с всичко това, все още остава скръбта от необикновеното невежество в света – не става дума за недостиг на информация, на книжно знание, а за невежеството на човека по отношение на самия него. Липсата на разбиране за себе си е есенцията на невежеството, което довежда до тази необятна скръб, ширеща се по целия свят.

Ще откриете какво е любовта и какво е скръбта единствено, когато умът ви е отхвърлил всички обяснения и вече не си въобразява, вече не търси причината, вече не се увлича по думи, нито се връща в спомени за собствените си удоволствия и болки. Умът ви трябва да бъде съвършено тих, без нито една дума, без нито един символ, без нито една идея. И тогава ще откриете – или тогава ще се породи – това състояние, в което онова, което сме наричали любов, онова, което сме наричали скръб и онова, което сме наричали смърт са едно и също. Вече няма никакво разграничение межу любовта, скръбта и смъртта. И в тази липса на разграничение има голяма красота. Но за да я доловите, да бедете в това състояние на екстаз, трябва да я има тази страст, която идва от пълната самозабрава.

Още от деца ние, човешките същества, където и да се намираме, се нараняваме. Имаме толкова много белези, осъзнати и неосъзнати. Съществуват толкова много форми на нараняване. Проливали сме сълзи, безмълвно или открито, и от обида сме искали да нараняваме другите, което е форма на насилие. И понеже сме били наранени, сме се противопоставили, изградили сме стена около себе си, за да не бъдем наранени отново. А когато изграждаш около себе си стена с цел да не бъдеш наранен, ще бъдеш нараняван много повече. Още от детството чрез сравняване, чрез подражаване и конформизъм, ние сме натрупали огромно количество обиди и без да осъзнаваме съществуването им, всичк��те ни действия са били всъщност отговор на тези наранявания.

Из „За любовта и самотата“ – Джиду Кришнамурти
Превод: Добромир Алексиев
ИК „Хайдакан"
Profile Image for Femi.
203 reviews20 followers
September 17, 2020
This gets pretty repetitive when you are already used to Krishnamurti's teachings. Nevertheless, the writing, as always, is lyrical and mesmerizing. Lots of thought-provoking questions to ponder.
Profile Image for Outmane.
147 reviews
May 13, 2022
Read last year, i don't know why this book and my review which was a resume disappeared from my bookshef
Profile Image for Zineb.
82 reviews21 followers
June 10, 2017
dans ce livre J. Krishnamurti analyse toutes les formes et toutes les expressions de l'amour de solitude et il vas expliquer que ce que nous appelons l'amour est pas l'amour, mais la possession, la concurrence l'envie; que la solitude est juste que ce que nous essayons de fuir faire de plus en plus de choses.. Il tente de définir la relation vraie qui ne peut exister que par la connaissance de soi et les facteurs de division entre les individus et les groupes humains. Face à tout cela, pouvons-nous découvrir une manière de vivre où nous n’utiliserions pas l’autre comme un moyen de fuir nos propres tourments, nos propres désespoirs, notre propre solitude
Citation :
« Sans amour, vous aurez beau faire – courir après tous les dieux de la terre, prendre part à toutes les activités sociales, tenter de remédier à la pauvreté, entrer en politique, écrire des livres, écrire des poèmes – vous ne serez qu'un être mort. Sans amour, vos problèmes iront croissant et se multipliant à l'infini. Mais avec l'amour, quoi que vous fassiez, il n'y a plus de risque, il n'y a plus de conflit. L'amour, alors, est l'essence de la vertu. »
Profile Image for Mohammad Naseri.
27 reviews4 followers
December 22, 2020
خوندن این کتاب خود به خود به شما کمک میکنه که به خودتون نزدیکتر بشین، خبری از تحویل گرفتن و انگیزه یا حتی منفی نگری نیست.بلکه دید شما رو نسبت به زندگی درونیتون وسیعتر میکنه و باید هم با هشیاری و هم آرامش خونده بشه.
در واقع ماهیت کتاب سخنرانی های کرشنا مورتی در مورد موضوعاتی از جمله، عشق، تنهایی، لذت طلبی، حسادت، رنج و اندوه، و ... می باشد که تو این کتاب راه حلی داده نمیشه بله که سعی می کنه راه فکر کردن به اون ها رو برای ما باز کنه،
یکی از بخشهایی از کتاب رو خیلی دوست داشتم: جامعه ای که ساختار اخلاقی آن مبتنی بر تقلید،ترس، خواسته های نکوهیده ی فردی، جاه طلبی، آزمندی و رشک ورزی است نه اخلاقی است و نه کمترین اثری از فضیلت در آن هست."
Profile Image for Peter Weissman.
Author 5 books12 followers
July 31, 2009
I only gave this four stars because this book was a compiliation of other Krishnamurti lectures and discourses, all of which I'd already read. But then, it rekindled in me the desire to go back to some of them, such as Think on These Things, which I see I gave five stars but read a while ago. (You can read these Krishnamurtis more than once, if you're into his kind of self-observation meditation.)
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