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The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star

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Set against the frenzied world of heavy metal superstardom, the co-founder of Motley Crue offers an unflinching and gripping look at his own descent into drug addiction. It follows him during the year he plunged to rock bottom and his courageous decision to pick himself up and start living again."

413 pages, Hardcover

First published September 18, 2007

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About the author

Nikki Sixx

30 books614 followers
Nikki Sixx (born Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna) is an American bassist, author, photographer, and the main songwriter for the heavy metal band Mötley Crüe. He has also played bass for glam metal band London, as well as stints in experimental band 58 and the hard rock band Brides of Destruction, and is the bass player in Sixx:A.M.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,212 reviews
Profile Image for Deanna .
715 reviews13k followers
March 24, 2017
A dark year in the life of Nikki Sixx

Although a member of other bands Nikki Sixx is best known as co-founder, bassist, and primary songwriter for the band Mötley Crüe.

A few years ago I was on a memoir kick and I ended up reading a few written by some current and former rock stars. I was not a huge fan of Mötley Crüe but I did enjoy some of their music. So when I came across this book/journal at the library I was curious.

I thought it was an interesting read with an accurate description of addiction (Although of course it is a rock star version). Nikki's journal entries from Christmas 1986 to Christmas 1987, when his drug use was apparently at it's highest. It's not pretty. Interspersed with photographs, artwork, lyrics, and other extras made it even more interesting.

Kudos to Nikki Sixx for sharing such a brutal, heartbreaking, and emotional time in his life with the world.
Profile Image for Scott.
39 reviews5 followers
April 18, 2008
I have to start out saying I was never a Motley Crue fan when they were huge. To the best of my memory, they only had two songs I can truly say I liked: 'Shout at the Devil' and 'Dr. Feelgood.'

Having established that fact, I was blown away when I heard 'Life is Beautiful' on my favorite internet radio station (www.therock.fm). I immediately had to find out who this Sixx AM band was. AMG provided a wealth of information. Sixx AM is a project put together by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue fame. The album was released as a companion disc for his new autobiography: The Heroin Diaries.

Well, I acquired the album the next day and WOW! This was the best rock concept album since Queensryche's Operation: Mindcrime. Just to complete the experience, I snagged the book from the library. I have to say it was an intriguing read. The layout was sometimes difficult to deal with (red print on black paper is not easy on these old eyes), but the story itself was enthralling. Nikki's slide into the depths of addiction and the background information on several of rock music's more venerable gods including: Rick Neilsen's apparent antipathy toward Gene Simmons, David Coverdale being described as 'the Richard Burton of Rock and Roll,' and Vanity's insane behavior both as a coke whore and a minister make for some amusing anecdotes from the sleazy side of the spotlights.

But, back to the album. It is both a powerful concept album and a collection of hard rock gems. The intermissions when segments of the diaries are read complement the flow of the songs and enhance the story.

I read in the Allmusic review of this album that Motley Crue fans would not like it. Since I was never a fan, I thought that explained it. Then I wondered -- why, if I liked this, was I not a Motley Crue fan? So I looked through the Motley Crue discography and I found that I liked and remembered a bunch of their songs. I have to admit that Vince Neil's voice is a little on the ragged edge of my taste envelope but overall I don't have a problem with them anymore. Which is odd, because I thought I was supposed to stop liking metal when I got old.


Recommnded songs: 'Life is Beautiful', 'Van Nuys', 'Courtesy Call'

Recommended for: hard rock or metal fans in general, Motley Crue fans, Queensryche fans


sorry this turned into an album review, but they were released as companions :)
Profile Image for Laurie  (barksbooks).
1,803 reviews720 followers
July 14, 2016
Yikes this book is a serious downer. You’d think the lifestyle of a big rock and roll star at the height of his stardom was nothing but luxurious decadence and fun times, right? Well, it is and it isn’t. When you haven’t dealt with your childhood pain, struggle with depression and a crushing loneliness and life on the road seems endless and empty and you self-medicate with sex and heroin, well, things quickly turn into a nightmare.

Nikki Sixx, bassist and song writer for Motley Crue, hit it big in the 80’s. He had it all. Fame, money, girls, drugs, booze but he also developed an addiction that nearly ended his life and turned him into a raging, paranoid, dangerous guy. Somehow he miraculously kept a diary in 1987. I don’t know If I buy that or not but I just went with it because his story is so hard to stop reading. In this diary, he details his self-destruction, his depression, his ego and bad attitude and the horrible, reckless things he does when he’s on drugs (when he can remember!). It’s not easy to read and it feels pretty brutally honest. After each diary entry there are comments from his current day self and/or others who were involved with him at the time, song lyrics, etc. These comments expand on the entry and they are oftentimes terribly unflattering. I have to say it was brave of him to put this out there.

If you’re even vaguely interested in the sexploits and exploits of life on the road and one man’s devastatingly slow road to recovery you’ll probably find this fascinating. My only complaint was the black on red, white on red, white on black background print. It hurts me ancient eyes! If your glasses prescription isn’t up to snuff, you might want to make a visit to the eye doc before tackling the print version of this book.
Profile Image for Rachel Hanes.
567 reviews442 followers
August 9, 2023
I don’t even know where to begin with this review… For starters, I wanted to read this because I always loved Motley Crue- and as a teenager I always claimed Nikki Sixx as being my future husband (Lol- we can all dream right?!). I also heard from several people how great this book was. So, I finally jumped in and read The Heroin Diaries-Ten Year Anniversary Edition.

Now, I did start off really loving this book. I didn’t want to put it down. I couldn’t believe some of the things that Nikki Sixx was doing and going through, as well his other band members. Nikki’s backstory and his thoughts are sad and they just pull you in and you want to wrap him in a big hug. Then as you keep reading, the pages get repetitive and mundane and I got rather bored… Nikki does talk about his heroin addiction along with his alcohol and other drug abuses. Even though he is a huge rock star, there is nothing glamorous about being strung out on drugs. In fact, the book got rather depressing the more you read on.

Another thing that turned me off are some of the “shenanigans” that Nikki and his other band members took part in. Yes, they were young. Yes, they were rock stars. Yes, they could and did have any girl they wanted. But for me it ended up being WAY too much information. I kind of wish I didn’t know this stuff now (like I’ve mentioned before, I’m turning into an old prude).

Also, from reading this book I feel that Nikki Sixx is a bit of a hypocrite. Let me explain… He dated Vanity (Prince’s protege from Vanity 6), which I still can’t wrap my head around. That’s the oddest couple on the planet! Anyhow, he talked about how bad her hygiene was and how horrible she looked all the time (which they were both getting pretty high, so she probably didn’t look her best). Yet, at the same time he would talk about not taking a shower for over a week, or how he would be out of toilet paper for months at a time (nasty!!). Nikki also goes on in his book to talk about how he likes “ugly” women, because beauty is only in the eye of the beholder, blah, blah, blah… But yet, he talked about Vanity like a dog any chance he could - which I found extremely odd because Vanity was beautiful. Nikki also went off to marry drop dead gorgeous women, but yet always wanted to get with all the “ugly” women on tour. I’m finding that whole scenario very odd.

I’m glad that Nikki Sixx is sober and doing well, and there were some funny moments in this book. I also learned a lot about some other rock stars that I did not know about. Overall, this book is okay. It was noted that this book has helped several addicts recover, and if it did, that’s wonderful. But for me, I didn’t get much out of it. I’m also questioning how true some of the diary entries are because if he was as strung out as he claims to have been, I’m surprised he remembered to write in his “diaries”.

Edit to add: I read this book after seeing Motley Crue perform at The Stadium Tour at Comerica Park in Detroit, MI. July 10, 2022. They performed with Joan Jett, Poison, and Def Leppard- and by far this was probably one of the best nights of my life!! I’ve never had so much fun!! All these bands can still rock the house! 🎸
Profile Image for Kelly.
447 reviews237 followers
April 12, 2012
My own personal hell dimension consists of Dawson Leery's crying face covering every surface while the audio of this book plays on a loop. No lie nor hyperbole, this is the most misogynistic, self-indulgent, whiny, piece of exaggerated material I have ever read. And really, that's saying something since I read both Tucker Max and Anais Nin.

1. We all have crappy parents and even crappier childhoods. Anyone who tells you differently is either lying or part of the 1%. Normal is an illusion. And as far as Nikki's childhood....pssh, cracker don't know dysfunctional. Know who had a messed up childhood? Joan Crawford's daughter, any female in the middle east, and every second child conceived in China.

2. I refuse to believe Nikki kept an accurate, well-documented diary during his relevant years.

3. Who over the age of 9 starts every passage with, "Dear Diary..."? NO ONE!!!

4. To feign shock over the lifestyle of a rock 'n' roller is ridiculous. THAT'S why you become a rockstar!!

5. Writing a memoir (read: narrating your shoddy flashbacks to a moderately talented ghost writer) to "wake up others to the lifestyle and hopefully deter them from following in your footsteps" does not equate with "I need to stay relevant so my dealer will finally start returning my calls". Just sayin...

6. The absurd coloring of the pages made me ill, rather than make my inner "glam rocker" (an oxymoron, by the way) fist pump in solidarity.

7. His mom should be ashamed by the way he talks/treats women. So, also, should any girl/nostalgic woman who slept with him.
7 reviews3 followers
November 27, 2007
I don't know what it is about Motley Crue, but they're absolutely fascinating to read about. Bassist/founder/main songwriter Nikki Sixx dug up these old diaries that cover almost every day of his life in 1987. When the band wasn't touring, Sixx was near death in his bedroom closet taking heroin, cocaine and other drugs nonstop. After most entries are current anecdotes by many people in Sixx's life at the time: band members and managers, girlfriends, family etc. It's amazing Sixx is still alive after his many brushes with death. His story makes drug addiction seem that much more unappealing. The rock and roll still seems pretty damn cool though.
Profile Image for BAM is over it! must be nap time.
1,956 reviews428 followers
February 3, 2017
I admit it; I was a Motley Crue fan in the '80s. I always had a crush on Tommy Lee though, and looking back on it I have no idea why except that Nikki Sixx scared the bejesus out of me. Reading this diary now I know why.
He just captured my heart by saying he was listening to the Thompson Twins and reading a Roald Dahl book. He's just a big kid who got seriously twisted. I realize he suffered from abandonment issues sand admits to clinical depression, but his actions seem so much like self-medicating ADHD and bipolar. Of course, the bipolar could have completely been drug induced. He was just so impulsive and irrational even off the drugs. Plus his artistic ability-it just makes me wonder. I'm so glad there was a humor break though with the Canadian DJ show breakdown. I laughed until I coughed.
Sixx truly affected me with his writings. I've lived in the bottom of the pit, not from drugs, but I still felt unloved, unworthy, unwilling to continue to force my presence on others. It's a long climb out.
The only doubts I had with the book regarded his relationship with his mother, Deana. I didn't know who to believe-her or his grandfather, Tom. I lean toward Tom.
Addiction is a serious illness. There is a genetic link. I get my shopping addiction from my father. I become quite delusional when it comes to how much money I have in my bank account when I'm spending. I won't divulge my financial history, just know it's precarious. I'm glad Nikki got help. I truly hope he can stay sober.
1,027 reviews4 followers
November 26, 2007
I only give this 2 stars for having funny little details about Vanity and GnR. This is not only a study in decadence but also a study in misogyny and white privilege. Isn't Nikki a n- - - - -? Why can't he say that word? Women = Trouble didn't you know?
I feel like ranting....apparently you get to be a self-indulgent prick if your father abandoned you and your mother left you with a grandmother/grandfather that adored you. Your life is so freaking hard....Really I don't know how you resisted a needle at infancy. At anyrate, this is so white boy ART scene I could vomit....It is Dudley if he got famous.
Profile Image for Taury.
667 reviews194 followers
September 24, 2022
I was drawn to The Heroin Diaries: The Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx due to my absolute love of Motley Crue. As an SUD counselor I was interested in his story. I am also a child of the 80s. I am all about that Rock n Roll of the 60-70-80s.

The beginning of the book Nikki writes his book is in schools and rehabs. Honestly, the last place this book needs to be is in rehabs. I haven’t used drugs since the 80s. Let me say even I had triggers. So major TRIGGER warnings for anyone in recovery especially Heroin, Fentanyl and/or Cocaine. Especially those that used needles. He goes into great detail.

I cried at the end of the book. Nikki so badly wanted to stay sober. He didn’t want to be leashed by the demons that held him to these drugs. I different on what he had to say about Methadone. Methadone works IF you go through the treatment as it is meant to be. Methadone treatment is and always has been a long term program. Some are lifers. There never has been a 30 day program for Methadone. A patient can’t even be stable in 30 days.

Enough of that little rant.

My heart and soul felt his pain. I felt his arrogance. I cringed at the places on his body he used to shoot up. I felt complete sadness for anyone that has walked in his shoes. I was so happy when he become sober and laid with the lady in the park listening to her story. When he cheered on the over weight lady by taking photos of her encouraging her to celebrate life.

I have always loved Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil and Tommy Lee. I just fell in love with them a little bit more
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Liz.
97 reviews13 followers
November 27, 2012
Where to start with this work of fiction.....actually; no more like this work of; I'm gonna dupe my fans because I need the money. To start with Nikki Sixx is a massive D-Bag. He's a 50+ year old man and he has no deeper insight of himself or his past than he did when he was a 20-30yr old supposed massive junkie. Alarm bells should have rung in my head when he tells the reader that if this book helps one person who is as messed up on junk as he was then releasing this book was all worth it????!! Are you shitting me? More like "i snorted/shot up all my money I made from my shitty glam band and the GFC is hit me hard and no one buys my out dated music anymore so I really need this money and I know that hardcore fans are fanatic enough to buy and believe this shit"

I don't believe for a second that he looks back at his 'wild' days with "man what was I thinking, I really needed help, I was so lost' He thinks they were totally awesome and he spends the book glorifying and almost bragging about his 'addiction' and behaviour. For such a heavy and serious subject matter the tone of the book is light hearted and the voice is almost an amused roll of the eyes 'rock stars boys will be rock star boys" No people; drugs fuck up peoples lives and the lives around them, it KILLS people, it's not cool. And its wrong for someone whom over people look up to (god knows why) to pretend to be telling a cautionary tale about drugs and the excesses and emotional turbulence that can lead to drug abuse, when in fact they are really glorifying drugs abuse because lets be honest all the cool party hard people take loads of drugs, all the cool famous people you look up to take drugs and really you just haven't partied hard unless you have a drug problem, sure you may 'die' a couple times (Nikki, people's organs don't shut down, then miraculously start up again, good story but, no) but that's just an awesome story to tell people later on about how fucking hardcore you were back in the day! And man, fuck rehab, rehabs for pussies!

I have no doubt that Nikki Sixx was 'strung out' for most of his 'career', but the idea that he was still able to keep a diary throughout the whole process is complete bullshit, but I was able to humour this concept for half of the book until he wrote the lines apparently on tour in 1987....'who knows, maybe someday I'll get this diary published, can you imagine that?' ???!!! FUCK YOU NIKKI SIXX! How stupid do you think I am!? How offensive can this douche be, its not bad enough you're selling people this work of fiction as a real diary and glorifying your drug abuse and pretending to be helping other lost addicts; but with that line you are laughing in the readers face, my face!!! I'll say it again, FUCK YOU! So at that stage I closed the 'book', which thank god I didn't pay for and wiped my arse with it (not really because it's on an e-reader and I have plenty of softer toilet paper) Screw you Nikki, you didn't get shit from me!

To be honest, it was getting tiresome anyway. It was was getting very repetitive, the story arc goes something like this "i shot up, I snorted, name drop, name drop, poor me, poor wealthy white man in a band me, shot up, debased some poor girls who's daddy didnt love them enough or molested them, poor me, all this fame and money is hell, shot up, drank, music, i love tommy, tommy, tommy, I knew slash before he was famous, I was the band, if it wasn't for my band there would have been no 1980's, poor me, hate women, hate women, my band was better than everybody else's band, poor fucking me" This guy is just boring and so damn arrogant, which is crazy because honestly does anyone over the age of 45 outside of America remember this band or this guy? I only know of him because he was dating Kat Von D for a bit and for a time I thought Nikki Sixx was a woman. And he writes the worst lyrics.....seriously, he's no freakin poet. All Nikki Sixx proves is that it must have been so easy to be in a hit band in the 80's; 'big hair? check, feminine looking white guy? check, looks ok in leopard print tights? check, can do a high scissor kicks? check, over-bloating sense of self? check, sad and tragic wrong side of the tracks, mummy/daddy didn't love me past? check, hatred for women? check; skin tones will work with glossy makeup, check. Congratulations you've got yourself a 1980's platinum glam band!

Only read this book if you are a fanatic fan who is a delusional as Nikki Sixx, but seriously there are more interesting delusional 'rock star' books out there; Donovan's and Anthony Kiedis's book come to mind.
Profile Image for *TUDOR^QUEEN* .
505 reviews561 followers
November 19, 2017
I enjoyed reading the Motley Crue autobiography "The Dirt" so very much that I was interested in reading the individual band members' tomes. I started with my favorite Motley Crue member, Nikki Sixx. Nikki is an extremely intelligent man and you will realize this after savoring his well-written diary entries. He was the most forthright and generous Crue member for literal contributions in "The Dirt", so I expected nothing less from his 1987 diary. This was the year he was strung out on heroin and overdosed on two occasions. The book's artwork is sometimes hard to look at: blood-spattered and interspersed with pictures of Nikki and friends from that time period. His diary entries are in the print of a portable typewriter. I devoured the book during two sick days I spent at home. The knowledge that Nikki is long-recovered and successful today makes it bearable to read the depressing status of his life while addicted to drugs. You will read about a young rock star in a beautiful mansion who spends a lot of his time unwashed, naked, hiding in a closet which contains his drug supplies and brandishing a gun because he thinks people are coming after him. You will also read about the effect his unstable childhood had on his adult life. As I read about Nikki's childhood, I marveled at the similarity of John Lennon's childhood. Both sensitive, creative, and cast off to be raised by other family members while the real mother establishes a household with another man. Meanwhile, the fathers disappear also leaving these children feeling unwanted and somewhat ashamed at the different family structure compared to other kids. As they grow older, they are driven by their art and the chips on their shoulders and get involved with drugs. They are successful, but it doesn't necessarily make them happy because their foundation in life has affected them so much. Both men eventually made peace with pasts, swore off drugs, became loving parents and finally reached a sound maturity. When I got to the end of Nikki's book (when he was finally "clean"), I loved reading about all the good things that happened to him. Twenty years clean, Nikki discovered these diaries in storage and decided to share them (in his usual generous fashion) to provide an example to kids of what not to do. Hopefully, if kids or even adults thinking of dabbling with drugs read Nikki's diary it will have a sobering effect. A portion of the proceeds from this book funds Nikki's charity "Children Running in the Night" which partners with Covenant House.
Profile Image for Bonnie.
1,386 reviews1,094 followers
November 15, 2015
'Welcome to my nightmare.'

On December 23, 1987 Nikki Sixx, bassist from Motley Crue, overdosed on heroin and was pronounced dead, but was miraculously revived by paramedics with two injections of adrenalin to the heart. The Heroin Diaries are his personal diary entries the year leading up to this day.



'My bones were shaking...my heart was pounding...I thought I was going to explode. I'm glad I have you to talk to, to write this down...I tried to keep it all together, but then I gave in to the madness and became one with my insanity...'

Dealing with depression and a troubling childhood on top of his addictions, The Heroin Diaries is a brutal and raw recollection of life in a downward spiral but was nothing less than fascinating. Fascinating, in that he's still alive today. December 23, 1987 was not his only encounter with death and certainly didn't prevent him from staying away from drugs completely afterwards but it set in motion the changes he undergoes to get his life under control.

'I can't find a way out of this hole. i would like to say to myself, If you're in a hole, put down the shovel, but I can't.'

I burned through it in record time; I was fascinated, appalled, and beyond shocked with each page. This was a brutally honest depiction of the life of an addict, and I applaud him for having the strength to put this out there for all to see. I loved the various pictures, illustrations, and especially the current statements from people (that are still living) that were witnesses to the events that took place. Not what I would consider an 'easy read' but is definitely worth your time.
Profile Image for Beth.
38 reviews1 follower
January 20, 2008
A better title would have been a "Year in the Life of a self-absorbed, drug-addled, whining rockstar." The book isn't awful. Nikki Sixx has some decent writing chops, but so much of the book is taken up with the same defeatist, whining, self-hatred that by the fifth or sixth month of it, you find yourself skipping over the boring entries. One of the book's saving graces is its format - the addition of "after the fact" notes from a variety of people makes the stories so much more interesting. Hearing how Tommy Lee remembered the same thing that Nikki wrote about while being high, for example, gives you a really shocking look into the delusion of today's addicts. Borrow this one; don't buy it.
Profile Image for Daisy.
100 reviews
August 22, 2015
"I love twelve year olds because you can hear the bones crack when you stick it in." What kind of guy says this, even drugged up and jokingly? Nikki Sixx does, in this book.

I think that may have been the moment my teenage obsession with Motley Crüe stopped. These guys are glorified rapists.
Profile Image for Lisa.
Author 18 books123 followers
January 20, 2008
This book is a compilation of Nikki Sixx's diary entries from 1986/1987 along with comments by those who knew him then. Let me say, I give Nikki Sixx a lot of credit for doing this as well as those who commented in the book. This took a very strong person to look back and read these entries; acknowledge the person he was; and actively ask those who were close to him (often participants in madcap antics) during this dark time to comment on him. Very in your face (what else would a diary of a rock star be?)

Admittedly, this gets a bit whiney at times (again, this is the diary of someone who is in a very deep depression and is self-medicating with heroin, coke, and anything else that shows up just so he doesn't have to deal with his own emotions).

The ending, at times, borders on preachy but I have to say, he makes some good insights here. He really opens the velvet curtain and welcomes everyone into a rock star's life.

I find it interesting that Mr. Sixx elected to publish one of the most successful years of his life (career wise). Those who were Motley fans (yup, I was. I attended one of the Philadelphia concerts he mentions in the book) would remember this year and how the media portrayed Nikki and the rest of the Crue. What went on only skims the surface of complex persons. The media did what they always do, present a characterization of the famous.
Profile Image for Cora.
365 reviews49 followers
March 4, 2019
I really enjoyed this. Yes, he's egotistical but honest. I liked that he takes responsibility for his life and addiction and some of the crazy things he writes are funny as hell. Recommended, even if you're not a Crue fan. It's just a fun memoir of a terrible addiction.
1 review
September 25, 2007
This was an absolutely fascinating book. Obviously, I am a big fan, particularly of Nikki's songwriting from the beginning to present so I've anxiously waited for the release of this book for several years. I am also a recovering addict and this was truly compelling, touching, at times rather raw but honest, and I simply could not stop reading. I knew the basic story but didn't know the brutal details. Wow. I found myself feeling lost and alone as I read the pages of this journal, knowing just what he may have felt at times. It comes down to a common theme with so many that have walked this path, whether to this extreme or perhaps might be looking at a similar decline or even knowing of those who unfortunately didn't make it.........feeling alone and misunderstood. I found it quite revealing to learn that even while at the height of fame, someone could feel so incredibly alone in this world and that many of us carry wounds with us until we are ready to let them go. They get heavier and tougher to carry through the years and thank God Nikki Sixx was finally able to let go and let God take care of his so that he could begin to heal from the inside.
Profile Image for Bill.
974 reviews378 followers
December 27, 2015
I can't remember what brought me there, but shortly after the great Philip Seymour Hoffman died I listened to a podcast of Nikki Sixx's radio show where so eloquently described addiction and depression.
It's here:
http://ultimateclassicrock.com/nikki-...
This was a dissertation that was worthy of any psychological study. And the reason for this, is he has lived this and is still living it.

The story behind The Heroin Diaries is that while Motley Crue were on top of the world, on tour in 1987, Nikki was at the height of his cocaine and heroin addiction. It peaked on December 23, when he was brought back from the dead after an overdose. Being the creative artist he was (the guy pretty much wrote the entire Motley catalog), he kept a daily diary through this year, be it in a notebook or on scraps of paper.
Many years later, he discovered these entries in a box and published them in this book. Interspersed throughout are anecdotal accounts by him, the band, and others to fill in the gaps.
Kudos to him for doing this. These are not proud moments and for a guy to lay himself bare like this is commendable. I have all the time in the world for a guy like this, and I know that what he is doing now with his radio show, and with this book, he just may save some young lives.
The Heroin Diaries is also a look behind the scenes at a band at the top and on the road. There are some funny entries for sure (his hatred of Whitesnake, for one thing), some nice things (how they treated upstarts Guns N Roses), and the decadence you know to expect from Motley Crue.

I received The Dirt for Christmas, so I will get all the decadence I can handle when I read that one...
Profile Image for Karen.
598 reviews22 followers
April 23, 2018
After reading this book, I now know that the cliché, "sex, drugs and rock and roll" is an understatement when it came to Nikki Sixx.

I decided to read this book after listening to my husband's cd The Heroin Diaries soundtrack by Sixx A.M. I immediately loved it! The lyrics were full of hope and the music was fantastic. I knew I had to read the book, even though I was never a Mötley Crüe or, let alone, Nikki Sixx fan. Now I'm a total fan and have bought more cd's by Six A.M.

This diary/memoir is the real deal. There is no sugar coating. Many entries of this diary sickened me. I felt sad when Nikki kept hitting rock bottom, but hopeful when he at least recognized that his life was on a destructive path and that he needed to change it. He's so lucky to be alive. Here's what Alice Cooper had to say about him:

"I never thought Nikki Sixx would live beyond the third Mötley Crüe album. People like me, Bowie and Elton John were professional abusers but Nikki went further than us - he used needles, which we never dared to do. I knew Jim Morrison well and Nikki reminded me a lot of him. When Jim died at twenty-seven, we weren't shocked because he had died; we were shocked that he had got that far in the first place."

By far, my favorite person in this book was Vanity. I loved reading what she had to say in retrospect to her relationship to Nikki and about her transformation into a born-again Chrtistian. Nikki would always comment about how every time Vanity got high, she would start talking about God. God was definitely tugging at her heart and succeeded in capturing her. She became a evangelist. She said this:

"My help could only come from God. None of my relationships, including with Nikki, were capable of finding any kind of love or happiness because I would never look at the root of my problem, which undoubtedly was me. I was very messed up and it was time to change or die.
We paint the outside of our bodies beautiful but the inside is like dead men's bones. The hurt topples on top of itself until our hurt gets so big and ugly, growing like a cancer worm, webbing around the walls of our heart, which ultimately turns cold and callous and dull of love. We mistake lust for love and pop more pills, slam more drugs, drink ourselves silly or end us, as I did, scraping the inside of a pipe just to hit the resin and flush life down a toilet. Personally, I hated every second of being alive in this collapsible body. I wanted a new body inside. I wanted to remove my mind all together - especially the part that hurt. Jesus did that for me."

How amazing is that? This diary, while sad, was full of hope and change. Forgiveness and new beginnings. Not only did Vanity's life change for the better, Nikki's did as well. After all, once you hit rock bottom, and don't die, you can only go up from there. Here's what Nikki had to say on December 25, 1987:

"I don't know how I survived the last year but I know there has to be a reason. Today for the first time ever I don't care about the outcome or the whys and whens. I just want to live. I woke up happy. I can't believe it. I didn't wake up with my head screaming and my instincts telling me to run and hide inside a needle or inside a coffin, whichever came first.. as long as I became numb or better yet dead.. I want to live and I don't know why."

Then he said when thinking back on that moment:

"I'll never forget waking up after sleeping almost forty-eight hours and feeling so different. I knew something had happened to me but I wasn't ready to look into it. What I had experienced was, I believe, something spiritual. Drugs have brought me to my knees and I knew it. Even though it would take a few attempts I was going to get off drugs. I had been given another chance to live and I was going to grab Life by the back of its neck and shake the hell out of it."

Love this!
Profile Image for Sarah.
557 reviews70 followers
August 10, 2015
Nikki Sixx shouldn’t be alive. That’s not a moral statement or any kind of reference to his deservingness of existence. It just doesn’t make any goddamn sense that his heart is still beating. I mean, we’re talking about a guy who, for YEARS, injected everything from heroin and cocaine to brown sugar and Jack Daniels directly into his veins. Not to mention all the risky sex (spoiler alert: there was A LOT), drunk driving, and fist fighting. If it weren’t for the occasional OD, I’d be 100% convinced he’s either a robot or an alien sent from another planet on some kind of extraterrestrial Rumspringa.

That said, the book is incredible in more ways than one. First, Nikki Sixx is undoubtedly a killer artist and his ability to write beautifully (albeit morbidly), even whilst entirely fucked up, is impressive.

Secondly, the actual content of Nikki’s story is mind boggling and gives folks a whole new understanding of the phenomenon of addiction. The extreme (EXTREME) mood lability, the constant internal battles and self-hatred, the devastating lying/manipulation/destruction– it’s all there and laid out in explicit, moving detail. Plus, we get to hear from Nikki’s friends and family in bonus commentary sections which helps create a more 3D image of his life and personality.

And finally, the book itself is a work of art in its own right. The heavy, glossed pages are filled with pictures, drawings, and a variety of mood-setting colors and stains which add another level of intensity to the dive into the chaotic world of this addicted, out of control rockstar.

Nikki Sixx seems to have gotten his shit together (14 years clean and sober now, I think) which is mind boggling given the state he was in in the 80′s and 90′s. His is ultimately a story of self-redemption and magnificent self-discovery, which is about as cool as it gets in my humble opinion.

Also, I learned that Vince Neil may have been the inspiration for Aerosmith’s “Dude Looks Like a Lady” which totally made my day.

Go read a book!
Profile Image for Bren fall in love with the sea..
1,702 reviews343 followers
May 29, 2019
I read this quite awhile ago. I do read many music bios although not nearly as many as I used to. I think my last one was "Heaven and Hell" about the Eagles. Anyway..

This is quite the dark book and I have to say Nicki Sixx is quite an intense writer. He really takes the reader into his head and it's a [pretty dark place to be.

I should also say I was never a major Motley Crew Fan. I had my favorite bands and entertainers and I did see them live once, (they put on a heck of a show) but I was not, unlike many reviewers on here , a mega fan. The re were many albums by them I did not own. So my knowledge of Sixx or any of the members before this book was not detailed.

I liked the book. Or maybe "liked" is not the right word. Mesmorised? It was an engaging read that is for sure and I think it is the type of book to read in one sitting. Some of it is really disturbing but then again it is about drug addiction so I figure most people will kn ow that going in.

When I first read this, I thought Sixx had quite an ego on him. I did judge..it just seemed that he loves to talk about himself, not just in this book but in general. I do not think that was the right attitude to go in with but that is what I did.

When I read it second time however, is where I really saw the value in the book, not just as a cautionary take but a sort of knocking down of walls and laying oneself bear at the reader's feet. And I had a different reaction. I really admired Sixx for writing this in the first place. It takes a strong individual to make oneself so vulnerable.

You do not have to ever had a drug or substance abuse issue to appreciate the book. Everybody has an addiction in one kind or another. It could be working or shopping or drinking coffee or tanning to much or READING(I am guilty of that one.) In the case of Sixx it was just something that could have killed him.

A very strong 3.5 stars and highly recommended.
Profile Image for ᒪᗴᗩᕼ .
1,687 reviews185 followers
March 27, 2019
4.5 Out Of 5 STARS for The Heroine Diaries: A Year In the Life of a Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx

๏  Highlights ๏
 

Memoirs
10 Year Anniversary Edition
Addiction
Rock Star Life
Drugs, Sex, & Rock N' Roll

With Audio Performed by Nikki Sixx

๏  My Thoughts ๏

I just watched The Dirt on Netflix and read the book quite some time ago.   Nikki Sixx's heroin addiction is touched on but not fully explored in The Dirt, but this puts his downward spiral on full-display.   With Nikki narrating his own diary entries, this played out exceptionally well, coming from him, it feels so real, raw and completely compelling.

Do you have to love Motley Crue to get into this, no, but it probably helps?  I don't necessarily love the Crue, but I really like them, I've seen them in concert even...and I do love 80's music in general, especially from those infamous hair bands.  It's crazy to see how rampant cocaine and heroin were back then, especially when you're famous and so many people think you can do no wrong.

This edition that I listened to is a Tenth Anniversary edition with a forward and afterward from Nikki Sixx about how releasing this book has affected him, all very interesting...and apparently, there are addicts who say this book has changed their lives for the better and helped them to break their habit.  If that's true then this book is completely worthwhile.

๏  MY RATING ๏ ☆4.5☆STARS - GRADE=A-


๏ Breakdown of Ratings ๏ 

Hard Hitting Story⇝  4.5/5
Narration Performance⇝  5/5
Believable⇝  4.5/5
The Feels⇝  4.5/5
Pacing⇝  4.3/5
Addictiveness⇝  4.8/5
Tone⇝  4/5
Flow (Writing Style)⇝  4/5
Ending⇝  5/5
๏ ๏ ๏
Book Cover⇝ Awesome!
Setting⇝ Everywhere...
Source⇝ Audiobook (Scribd)
๏ ๏ ๏
Profile Image for Laura.
15 reviews2 followers
June 8, 2008
What a ride. Although I loved Motley Crue back in the day, I was young and had no idea the life they led as rock stars. Sex, drugs, Rock and roll was the theme back then but I never knew the depths of the darkness it led Nikki too.

One of the last paragraphs that I loved


You know, it's pretty easy reading this book to see why I was angry and confused for all those years. I lived my life being told different stories: some true, some lies and I still don't know which is which. Children are born innocent. At birth we are very much like a new hard drive - no viruses, no bad information, no crap that's been downloaded into it yet. It's what we feed into that hard drive, or in my case "head drive" that starts the corruption of the files.
Profile Image for Bronwen.
56 reviews
December 29, 2007
Am I the only one who is skepitcal of the fact that Nikki Sixx kept a diary during the height of his heavy drug using days? And that he began his entries with "Dear Diary?" Even I didn't do that in 1987, the year that The Herion Diaries spans, and I was a 14 year old girl then.

Whether or not these stories were actually chronicled by Nikki in '87, the ones about the band and their '87 tour are interesting. The ones about Nikki shooting up in his closet at home and hallucinating become rather tiresome. Unfortunately, the closet stories seem to outnumber the touring ones.

The book is worth checking out, if just for the inane commentary by Nikki's nutjob girlfriend Vanity
Profile Image for Crystal (Crystalreads2) .
878 reviews819 followers
February 11, 2020
Excellent book. Gives you the view from the user. Rock Star or Not..
I have re-read this book several times over the years. It really is my go to book. I know what’s it like to love a drug addict or in my case Addicts. I saw them break apart our family, and lose there battle to addiction. Heard all the horrible names people call addicts because they have absolutely no clue what it’s like to walk in my shoes or there’s . This book shines the light on addiction why it’s not so easy just to stop and the outlook from an addicts eyes. I thank Nikki Sixx for this book and hope he does help people . He has helped me on my darkest days .
Profile Image for Eddie.
176 reviews12 followers
January 18, 2008
This was really good. I was so glad when it arrived in the mail, I opened the package and I had this beautiful glossy-paged thing in my hands. This book just looks good. Then you actually get down and read it. This book shows Nikki's diary excepts from Christmas Day 1986 to the same day a year later. I'm sure the name makes it obvious that a lot of this book focuses on drugs. In fact, pretty much all of it does. It's easy to see just how meaningful this book could be to other addicts. I'm not an addict, and yet what I found scary was that if that had been me, I'd probably have found myself in the same position as Nikki did. Although I'd probably die long before I reached the 1987 of my life.

It's easy to forget you're reading about a rockstar in one of the world's biggest rock bands, traveling the world, meeting millions of fans etc. etc. Nikki just comes across as such a real dude. Unfortunately he doesn't reveal how he managed to juggle being a junkie and maintaining that impressive hairdo. Oh yes, and Slash is in it! He, err...used to get so drunk he'd piss the bed. Apart from the fact that GN'R toured with Motley that year, that's the main reason that he's in there. To say that Nikki's spare bedroom smelled of pee because of him. Umm...awww?

In short, you should definitely pick this book up. Especially if you love rock n' roll. Or just if you love shiny shiny books. Don't forget to get the soundtrack too!
Profile Image for Bethany Ainsworth.
283 reviews26 followers
October 13, 2018
It's a very interesting read.

It's very interesting to read someone go through a downward spiral of addiction and I would say destruction, because he and Tommy kind of did some destruction of property while high on cocaine. And I guess Nikki was destroying himself in the process of his addiction.

It's an interesting insight to this guy's life, really. Especially getting other points-of-view inserted to help expand. We see why the others didn't help, because Nikki would essentially blow up at them, and they realize how it would be hypocritical of them because they were addicts as well.

One thing for sure, he wasn't a saint. Some of the stuff he did to women was shocking, especially in this day and age with sexual harassment being all over the media, but I guess things were vastly different in the 80's.

And it was fun trying to pinpoint where I was at while listening to the Heroin Diaries Soundtrack by his side project Sixx:A.M.

It was just interesting to read.
Profile Image for Erin Carere.
29 reviews31 followers
July 6, 2008
I read a snippet of this book by Nikki Sixx (of Motley Crue fame, former bass player) since it's a bonus on the CD when you slip the disc into your computer. All IO can say is, wow. This man is incredibly brave and I hope his terrifying experience heal people! And, the diaries are not only fascinating, but funny, smart, painful. Intuitive, amazingly. Nikki Sixx kept a journal of his experience on beaucoup drugs and the people surrounding him, Motley, and his drug life throughout the 80s. Now, he is publishing those diaries, with illustrations and photos related to the entries. A very interesting part is that he has people from "those days" who are still around comment on his diary entries. Amazingly raw.
Profile Image for Nicole.
168 reviews
November 19, 2007
This is a riveting read, I burned through this book within two days. I appreciate Nikki's fulfilling his vision of complete honesty when he decided to publish this... nothing is sugar coated in this sad, vicious diary of a rock star on drugs and out of control with plenty of money to fuel his habit. The debauchery recounted in the book is tempered with some pretty witty insight from Nikki (as of 2006) and by others who were willing to go on the record in the book to comment on the events as they saw them. Vanity, his drug addicted girlfriend during this time, contributes some interesting thoughts due to the fact that she is now a born-again evangelist. Others that contribute include his bandmates, former manager Doc McGhee, Slash, Rick Nielsen (guitarist for Cheap Trick), and his family members.
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