I'm so happy to review this book because it absolutely changed my life and my daughter's life forever! I will be honest with you and tell you that I was at my wit's end. My 13 year old, who used to be a sweet kid became constantly defiant and depressed at home. The kid who obviously loved me, I'm a really cool mom, now ignored me and rolled her eyes. Her grades were suffering and she began stitching into her skin during school. This is when someone sews shapes into their skin with a needle and thread. So I got this book.
I read the book very quickly because it resonated so strongly with all I was going through. Our society values peer influence so highly and at such a superficial level that we are losing our kids to isolation and hopelessness disguised by technology and unhealthy friendships.
I pulled my daughter out of school in her last semester of 7th grade. This meant that she would have to repeat 7th grade and be a year behind. As a single mother with her and a baby, as well as a full-time career I committed to homeschool her. We worked out a strange schedule of night and weekend study focused on real life skills and developing her values system. She was indignant...at first. After the first two weeks things started to ease. She began applying herself more, she softened, started taking great love and responsibility with her sister and with our home. I followed the advice of the book and rebuilt our relationship and the tenderness we have for each other. She was honest with me! She broke down and told me about all her fears and walls.
The girl that just wanted to be on the internet or texting in bed was now going to the gym several times a week, going for walks with the kids around the neighborhood, volunteering to help younger students learn to read and really working on improving our family relationships. She stopped yelling at me and ignoring me!! She reached a healthy weight, she was way too skinny.
During that one school year we did two years of work and caught her up. She entered high school today, right on schedule! She held my hand as we drove to the bus stop. She was excited about meeting new kids and really applying herself at school. This week she received an award for her volunteer service over the past year. Also, on a daily basis, I have people tell me what a remarkable and intelligent child I have. Last year, she was depressed and aloof, people were concerned about her.
Reading this book led me to make a very difficult decision that I thought was absolutely beyond my capacity as a mother. I believe if I hadn't put her first and done everything I could to get her away from her unhealthy friendships that I would've lost her forever and her academic possibilities and life possibilities would have suffered severely. No one agreed that I was doing the right thing! (The school, her father, my mother, no one understood why I needed to this.) This book gives practical step-by-step instructions to get your kids back from unhealthy destructive behaviors that are becoming more and more prevalent as a result of our current culture. If you are losing your child people act fast and be brave. It was the best decision I ever made.
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Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers
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Reviews with images
Navigating modern parenting
“Hold On to Your Kids" by Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté is a thought-provoking exploration of the parent-child relationship in our modern world. The authors shed light on the challenges parents face in maintaining a strong connection with their children in the face of external influences such as peer orientation.The book delves into the consequences of a child's strong attachment to peers over parents and offers valuable insights into how to build and nurture a healthy parent-child bond. Neufeld and Maté provide practical advice on reconnecting with our children and regaining our role as the primary influencers in their lives."Hold On to Your Kids" is a powerful wake-up call for parents, prompting reflection on the nature of their relationships with their children in today's society. It offers a compelling perspective and actionable strategies to foster a deep and lasting connection, making it a must-read for parents navigating the challenges of raising children in the 21st century.
Top reviews from the United States
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Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2016
Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2024
“Hold On to Your Kids" by Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté is a thought-provoking exploration of the parent-child relationship in our modern world. The authors shed light on the challenges parents face in maintaining a strong connection with their children in the face of external influences such as peer orientation.
The book delves into the consequences of a child's strong attachment to peers over parents and offers valuable insights into how to build and nurture a healthy parent-child bond. Neufeld and Maté provide practical advice on reconnecting with our children and regaining our role as the primary influencers in their lives.
"Hold On to Your Kids" is a powerful wake-up call for parents, prompting reflection on the nature of their relationships with their children in today's society. It offers a compelling perspective and actionable strategies to foster a deep and lasting connection, making it a must-read for parents navigating the challenges of raising children in the 21st century.
The book delves into the consequences of a child's strong attachment to peers over parents and offers valuable insights into how to build and nurture a healthy parent-child bond. Neufeld and Maté provide practical advice on reconnecting with our children and regaining our role as the primary influencers in their lives.
"Hold On to Your Kids" is a powerful wake-up call for parents, prompting reflection on the nature of their relationships with their children in today's society. It offers a compelling perspective and actionable strategies to foster a deep and lasting connection, making it a must-read for parents navigating the challenges of raising children in the 21st century.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2010
Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2023
Top reviews from other countries
Calrs
Author has done a service to the mankind
Reviewed in India on December 28, 2022Ivano
Una piega
Reviewed in Italy on February 15, 2021
Ivano
Reviewed in Italy on February 15, 2021
Con i libri è così, a volte va bene, altre male.
Per me non è essenziale questa volta. Non ho voglia di rimandarlo indietro.
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