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I'm Glad My Mom Died
Goodreads Choice Award
Winner for Readers' Favorite Memoir & Autobiography (2022)A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly , she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly , she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
320 pages, ebook
First published August 9, 2022
42574 people are currently reading
920534 people want to read
About the author
Jennette McCurdy
2 books8,238 followersJennette McCurdy got her start in child acting, which by her late teen years had brought her success (she starred in Nickelodeon's hit show iCarly and her own spin-off, Sam & Cat). She went on to star in the Netflix series Between, and had a short-lived country music career with Capitol Records Nashville. Despite her outside success, McCurdy felt ashamed of 90% of her resume and ultimately unfulfilled, so she turned to alcohol, but since that didn't work, she quit acting and began pursuing writing/directing in 2017. She has written/directed a pilot and four short films. Her work has been featured in/on The Hollywood Reporter, Short of the Week, Florida Film Festival, Salute Your Shorts, and many more. She has written articles for Huffington Post and the Wall Street Journal. Her one-woman show “I’m Glad My Mom Died” had a sold-out run at Lyric Hyperion Theatre. She hosts a podcast called “Empty Inside”, where she speaks with guests about uncomfortable topics.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 131,788 reviews
November 3, 2022
I'm Glad Her Mom Died Too
"Why do we romanticize the dead...?
Indeed. Why do we?
Before this book came out, my knowledge of Jennette McCurdy only extended to random gifs featuring her iCarly character, Sam Puckett. I didn't actually know who she was and what they were from, I just knew they were funny and fit my "book review" purposes.
Here's an example:
When this book dropped, however, I was drawn to the title, the gloriously vintage macabre book cover, and the fact that it was getting rave reviews.
I was excited to read this and loved the cover so much that I purchased the hardcover drop instead of waiting for my library hold. I initially started this in early September, but for personal reasons I won't get into, I had to set it down for a bit. I have almost no triggers and can read pretty much anything without being all that affected, but - again - for personal reasons I won't get into, I found the details of Jennette's mother's behavior, narcissism, and emotional manipulation to be extremely triggering. And don't even get me started on the eating disorder triggers. I was also amidst a fairly stressful period in my work life, so I decided to wait until that was over before picking this back up.
Fast forward a little over a month and my library audiobook hold was by then available, so I decided to jump back in with that format. Let me just say that I can't recommend the audiobook version of this highly enough. It is obviously read by Jennette McCurdy herself and I think she does a great job of it.
I think the dichotomies of Jennette's life and story are very interesting and well explained. She is able to get across very nuanced and contradictory sentiments without sounding like a complete whiner. And that's a really hard thing to accomplish in practice.
For example, she is able to outline how, despite understanding how privileged and "lucky" she was to be famous and on TV, she loathed acting, a lot of the fans, and the experiences that came with it all.
^See how assholey that's sounds just me saying it? Well, she nails it in the book, I promise you.
I also felt very connected to Jennette and had a lot of empathy for her. I grew up in LA County and am VERY familiar with almost every location she references in the LA/Orange County area. I literally drive by the Westminster Mall (which she references being that she grew up in Garden Grove, and which is basically a nonexistent ghost mall now) every day on the freeway on my way to work.
Also, I know I said I didn't want to get too woo-woo personal, but I will just say this: I deeply connected to Jennette in terms of understanding the longstanding effects (as a child who doesn't know any better) of being made to feel like you are responsible for the state of mind and emotions of another person - an ADULT person. For years.
It steals your childhood, stunts you emotionally, and really takes a long time to work through.
Some people should just NOT have children, folks. It's just that simple. I mean, what they say really is true: a lot of people spend their adulthood just trying to get over their childhoods. And that's even true for "GOOD" parents.
But I digress.
I liked how self-aware Jennette is. Or, at least, how self-aware she appeared to be in this book. That said, I also feel like this memoir came a little soon in terms of Jennette's recovery. She's very, very new to being on "the other side" of things. Although perhaps this book is a part of that, and so I can't fault her for that. And who am I to judge or criticize.
Overall, this book was a great account of a very unique human experience. I will definitely check out any future books or content Jennette puts out in the future. And I'm rooting for her, her recovery, and her happiness.
"Why do we romanticize the dead...?
Indeed. Why do we?
Before this book came out, my knowledge of Jennette McCurdy only extended to random gifs featuring her iCarly character, Sam Puckett. I didn't actually know who she was and what they were from, I just knew they were funny and fit my "book review" purposes.
Here's an example:
When this book dropped, however, I was drawn to the title, the gloriously vintage macabre book cover, and the fact that it was getting rave reviews.
I was excited to read this and loved the cover so much that I purchased the hardcover drop instead of waiting for my library hold. I initially started this in early September, but for personal reasons I won't get into, I had to set it down for a bit. I have almost no triggers and can read pretty much anything without being all that affected, but - again - for personal reasons I won't get into, I found the details of Jennette's mother's behavior, narcissism, and emotional manipulation to be extremely triggering. And don't even get me started on the eating disorder triggers. I was also amidst a fairly stressful period in my work life, so I decided to wait until that was over before picking this back up.
Fast forward a little over a month and my library audiobook hold was by then available, so I decided to jump back in with that format. Let me just say that I can't recommend the audiobook version of this highly enough. It is obviously read by Jennette McCurdy herself and I think she does a great job of it.
I think the dichotomies of Jennette's life and story are very interesting and well explained. She is able to get across very nuanced and contradictory sentiments without sounding like a complete whiner. And that's a really hard thing to accomplish in practice.
For example, she is able to outline how, despite understanding how privileged and "lucky" she was to be famous and on TV, she loathed acting, a lot of the fans, and the experiences that came with it all.
^See how assholey that's sounds just me saying it? Well, she nails it in the book, I promise you.
I also felt very connected to Jennette and had a lot of empathy for her. I grew up in LA County and am VERY familiar with almost every location she references in the LA/Orange County area. I literally drive by the Westminster Mall (which she references being that she grew up in Garden Grove, and which is basically a nonexistent ghost mall now) every day on the freeway on my way to work.
Also, I know I said I didn't want to get too woo-woo personal, but I will just say this: I deeply connected to Jennette in terms of understanding the longstanding effects (as a child who doesn't know any better) of being made to feel like you are responsible for the state of mind and emotions of another person - an ADULT person. For years.
It steals your childhood, stunts you emotionally, and really takes a long time to work through.
Some people should just NOT have children, folks. It's just that simple. I mean, what they say really is true: a lot of people spend their adulthood just trying to get over their childhoods. And that's even true for "GOOD" parents.
But I digress.
I liked how self-aware Jennette is. Or, at least, how self-aware she appeared to be in this book. That said, I also feel like this memoir came a little soon in terms of Jennette's recovery. She's very, very new to being on "the other side" of things. Although perhaps this book is a part of that, and so I can't fault her for that. And who am I to judge or criticize.
Overall, this book was a great account of a very unique human experience. I will definitely check out any future books or content Jennette puts out in the future. And I'm rooting for her, her recovery, and her happiness.
December 30, 2022
praying that Jennette makes more from this book than Nickelodeon could’ve ever offered with their hush money
A truly incredible and hard-hitting memoir. Whether you watched Jennette’s shows growing up (like me) or you don’t know her at all, I think this book is a must read. I don’t want to go into too many details, so I’ll just share some of my thoughts:
• The writing is easy to read but still poignant. I think Jennette did a great job recounting the events of her life. I especially appreciate how she recounted her childhood; she really nailed writing from the perspective of a naïve child who doesn’t realize how awful her mother is.
• I love how truthful Jennette was about her own fuck-ups. She admitted she was very aware of how bitter and rude she had become, and how ungrateful she seemed (obviously, I think she was justified).
• I particularly loved the section about Jennette’s time on “Sam & Cat”. It showed how much her addiction, mental illnesses and eating disorders affected her work; how much Nickelodeon mistreated her, especially when compared to Ariana Grande; and how resentful she had grown over the years.
• The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry is something that really needs to be discussed. Seeing a child star expose the abuse she suffered in the industry is truly heartbreaking, but extremely important, especially in this day and age, where even more parents are pressuring their children and forcing them to put themselves out there for fame. I wonder if in 10 years we’ll see similar testimonies from kids of family channels who grew up making money for their parents in an even more disgusting way: by having they entire lives documented and posted online for all to see.
• Jennette’s friendship with Miranda was so wholesome <3
• A bit of a critique: I feel like certain events were skipped and only mentioned later in the timeline (for example: we never see her audition for iCarly, or how filming the 1st episode was, suddenly it was already 3 years into the filming of the show, out of nowhere we find out that she’d been to multiple events and red carpets, she randomly mentions she knows she has OCD and EDs – I guess she learned and came to terms with it off-page…). Obviously, this is a memoir, so the author knows better than me what was important to document, but still, some of these things seemed kind of crucial in my opinion (especially her learning about her disorders).
• The main reasons I’m giving it 4 stars is because memoirs are not really my thing, so I ended up not enjoying this as much as the other books I give 5 stars to; and because, as I mentioned, I think some things could’ve been a bit better. But, again, I still loved this book and highly recommend it to everyone!
(review written on 24/08/2022)
---
this title is BRUTAL 💀
i'm so happy for her 😌 can't wait to read it!!
(06/04/2022)
A truly incredible and hard-hitting memoir. Whether you watched Jennette’s shows growing up (like me) or you don’t know her at all, I think this book is a must read. I don’t want to go into too many details, so I’ll just share some of my thoughts:
• The writing is easy to read but still poignant. I think Jennette did a great job recounting the events of her life. I especially appreciate how she recounted her childhood; she really nailed writing from the perspective of a naïve child who doesn’t realize how awful her mother is.
• I love how truthful Jennette was about her own fuck-ups. She admitted she was very aware of how bitter and rude she had become, and how ungrateful she seemed (
• I particularly loved the section about Jennette’s time on “Sam & Cat”. It showed how much her addiction, mental illnesses and eating disorders affected her work; how much Nickelodeon mistreated her, especially when compared to Ariana Grande; and how resentful she had grown over the years.
• The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry is something that really needs to be discussed. Seeing a child star expose the abuse she suffered in the industry is truly heartbreaking, but extremely important, especially in this day and age, where even more parents are pressuring their children and forcing them to put themselves out there for fame. I wonder if in 10 years we’ll see similar testimonies from kids of family channels who grew up making money for their parents in an even more disgusting way: by having they entire lives documented and posted online for all to see.
• Jennette’s friendship with Miranda was so wholesome <3
• A bit of a critique: I feel like certain events were skipped and only mentioned later in the timeline (for example: we never see her audition for iCarly, or how filming the 1st episode was, suddenly it was already 3 years into the filming of the show, out of nowhere we find out that she’d been to multiple events and red carpets, she randomly mentions she knows she has OCD and EDs – I guess she learned and came to terms with it off-page…). Obviously, this is a memoir, so the author knows better than me what was important to document, but still, some of these things seemed kind of crucial in my opinion (especially her learning about her disorders).
• The main reasons I’m giving it 4 stars is because memoirs are not really my thing, so I ended up not enjoying this as much as the other books I give 5 stars to; and because, as I mentioned, I think some things could’ve been a bit better. But, again, I still loved this book and highly recommend it to everyone!
(review written on 24/08/2022)
---
this title is BRUTAL 💀
i'm so happy for her 😌 can't wait to read it!!
(06/04/2022)
August 15, 2024
Shall we light it up?
A bridge.
It’s time.
When I was in middle school, my mother told me that my glasses were ugly, that the children would call me Four-Eyes. Interesting Fact: No one has ever called me this but my mother.
She taught me a cabbage soup diet and how to put on trash bags and go running to lose weight.
At the end of a long day, my mom swung by a fast-food restaurant. She demanded that I go up and see what the operating hours were. Being super introverted, I hesitated. She started screaming, letting off a stream of obscenities.
While I was in college in my early 20’s, I stopped by my mother’s apartment for a visit. She walked right by me in the parking lot. She said that I was so fat that I looked pregnant, and she didn’t recognize me.
When I was making $6.70 per hour, working part-time at Sears, my mother asked that I purchase a $200 set of pajamas for her. When I explained that I didn’t even have $200 to my name, was she sympathetic? No way. She laid into a guilt trip. Did I love her? Didn’t she do so much for me?
What has that to do with I’m Glad My Mom Died?
I know firsthand what it is like to live with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, and Jennette’s mom has the classic symptoms. This book really resonated with me.
I’m Glad My Mom Died is an important work. It lets other people know that they aren’t alone, especially if their parents aren’t top 10% parents. Some parents are bottom 10% parents.
It has been a long time since I have felt seen. The last book that I felt really conveyed the complexity of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
Did I spend years trying to win my mother’s love? Yes. But do I want to be the person that she would love? No.
Because I value honesty and intellect. Because I don’t define my self-worth by beauty or popularity.
Having a mother with borderline personality disorder has a profound impact on a child’s development. Here is one study by the National Library of Medicine: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3268672/
It’s time we end the silence.
2025 Reading Schedule
Jan A Town Like Alice
Feb Birdsong
Mar Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
Apr War and Peace
May The Woman in White
Jun Atonement
Jul The Shadow of the Wind
Aug Jude the Obscure
Sep Ulysses
Oct Vanity Fair
Nov A Fine Balance
Dec Germinal
Connect With Me!
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A bridge.
It’s time.
When I was in middle school, my mother told me that my glasses were ugly, that the children would call me Four-Eyes. Interesting Fact: No one has ever called me this but my mother.
She taught me a cabbage soup diet and how to put on trash bags and go running to lose weight.
At the end of a long day, my mom swung by a fast-food restaurant. She demanded that I go up and see what the operating hours were. Being super introverted, I hesitated. She started screaming, letting off a stream of obscenities.
While I was in college in my early 20’s, I stopped by my mother’s apartment for a visit. She walked right by me in the parking lot. She said that I was so fat that I looked pregnant, and she didn’t recognize me.
When I was making $6.70 per hour, working part-time at Sears, my mother asked that I purchase a $200 set of pajamas for her. When I explained that I didn’t even have $200 to my name, was she sympathetic? No way. She laid into a guilt trip. Did I love her? Didn’t she do so much for me?
What has that to do with I’m Glad My Mom Died?
I know firsthand what it is like to live with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, and Jennette’s mom has the classic symptoms. This book really resonated with me.
I’m Glad My Mom Died is an important work. It lets other people know that they aren’t alone, especially if their parents aren’t top 10% parents. Some parents are bottom 10% parents.
It has been a long time since I have felt seen. The last book that I felt really conveyed the complexity of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
Did I spend years trying to win my mother’s love? Yes. But do I want to be the person that she would love? No.
Because I value honesty and intellect. Because I don’t define my self-worth by beauty or popularity.
Having a mother with borderline personality disorder has a profound impact on a child’s development. Here is one study by the National Library of Medicine: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3268672/
It’s time we end the silence.
2025 Reading Schedule
Jan A Town Like Alice
Feb Birdsong
Mar Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
Apr War and Peace
May The Woman in White
Jun Atonement
Jul The Shadow of the Wind
Aug Jude the Obscure
Sep Ulysses
Oct Vanity Fair
Nov A Fine Balance
Dec Germinal
Connect With Me!
Blog Twitter BookTube Insta My Bookstore at Pango
February 16, 2024
I’ve known for so long that my relationship with acting is a complicated one. Not dissimilar to my relationship with food and my body.
Both of them feel like constant pulling, yearning, begging, fighting. I’m trying desperately to get their approval, their affection, and I never quite seem to. I’m never quite good enough.
I cannot give this less than five stars, but it was horrible to read.
This memoir wasn't initially on my radar because I wouldn't know McCurdy if she showed up at my front door. However, in the hours since I've finished this, I've felt compelled to familiarise myself with clips on Youtube. It gives me a chill to think that this bright talented young girl was concealing so much pain.
The title is arresting, as it's supposed to be, but it's far more than just clickbait. McCurdy as an adult wrestles with her perception of her childhood and the pedestal she put her mother on. The mother who aggressively pushed her into acting, despite her protestations, then encouraged her anorexia and lied to doctors about it.
It is hard, harder perhaps than I can even imagine, to revisit your past and understand that a person you have loved, admired and tried so long to impress has been a toxic presence in your life.
People seem to assign thin with “good,” heavy with “bad,” and too thin also with “bad.” There’s such a small window of “good.”
As well as this, it's a portrait of the ugly side of child acting. Reading this, I found myself feeling that surely no child can give informed consent to becoming an actor. They are pushed and pulled between adults who fixate on their appearance, who criticise them, build them up and reject them. No wonder former child actors have such a high rate of substance abuse and mental illness.
McCurdy's experiences at home and within the industry left her with an unhealthy relationship with food, her body and being a woman, a relationship that she is finally beginning to reckon with after both her mother's death and her own decision to quit acting.
Though I did not know her before starting this memoir, this book invited me deep inside her experiences. I now feel an overwhelming desperation for McCurdy to overcome the trauma of her past and find peace.
August 19, 2022
As someone who’s never watched Nickelodeon or anything with this author, I was still highly engrossed in Jennette's story. You can tell she’s more passionate about writing than acting because her writing is of a higher caliber than other celebrity memoirs that were likely ghost-written. She describes events chronologically in such a detailed and engaging way, picking specific memories to demonstrate the dysfunction of her childhood. I appreciated her honesty, dry humor, and even her bitterness and negativity. Her train of thought is very similar to my own mentality (irritability, cynicism, being extremely critical of ourselves, etc) and having that mirrored back from another deeply wounded person was eye-opening. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who processes life this way... Can we do group therapy together, Jennette?!
While I appreciate the level of detail in recalling these events (no easy feat for those dealing with trauma), I would’ve loved to see more reflections of the themes across the book, like her present-day thoughts on her family, Hollywood, child stardom, body image, etc. As well as her learnings from therapy that she’s incorporating moving forward, just to give the rest of us more hope! Regardless, I look forward to seeing her future work and wish her nothing but happiness.
While I appreciate the level of detail in recalling these events (no easy feat for those dealing with trauma), I would’ve loved to see more reflections of the themes across the book, like her present-day thoughts on her family, Hollywood, child stardom, body image, etc. As well as her learnings from therapy that she’s incorporating moving forward, just to give the rest of us more hope! Regardless, I look forward to seeing her future work and wish her nothing but happiness.
September 30, 2022
Jennette McCurdy is extremely talented in her writing and i hope she writes more in the future (whatever genre idc, i’ll read anything) because this book alone was a literary masterpiece.
it’s very fast pace. i appreciated how Jennette didn’t go into a ton of detail regarding certain subjects. it was just “yup this is was it is, this is how it is, and this is what i’m doing about it” it was very raw and real in my opinion. no flowery language
one thing i’ve seen a lot of people say about this book is “wow she’s so funny, her humor is great, ect.” which i don’t entirely understand since everything Jennette went through and described in this book was devastating. from the multiple forms of abuse, eating disorders, and having to grow up too fast….um where is the humor in that?! i did listen to the audiobook with this (which jennette also narrated) and there’s points in which you hear her actually crying.
nonetheless, i’m glad to see Jennette thriving in her writing career which she always wanted. i wish her nothing but the best for her.
it’s very fast pace. i appreciated how Jennette didn’t go into a ton of detail regarding certain subjects. it was just “yup this is was it is, this is how it is, and this is what i’m doing about it” it was very raw and real in my opinion. no flowery language
one thing i’ve seen a lot of people say about this book is “wow she’s so funny, her humor is great, ect.” which i don’t entirely understand since everything Jennette went through and described in this book was devastating. from the multiple forms of abuse, eating disorders, and having to grow up too fast….um where is the humor in that?! i did listen to the audiobook with this (which jennette also narrated) and there’s points in which you hear her actually crying.
nonetheless, i’m glad to see Jennette thriving in her writing career which she always wanted. i wish her nothing but the best for her.
September 23, 2023
I really appreciated Jeannette’s writing style in this book. She’s very cut and dry and to the point. No flowery language or metaphors. That writing style made it feel really raw, transparent, and honest. And it very much feels like Jeannette’s voice.
I would also really recommend the audiobook. It was so incredible to hear her story in her voice.
The book starts out in Jeannette’s childhood and then progresses to her acting days and then to her adult life post acting. It was a devastating yet eye opening journey to see her come to terms with how much her childhood hugely negatively impacted her life and ruined so many healthy habits she should’ve had in her adult life. And to see how the abusive from her mom was a huge huge part of that.
Would highly recommend as long as you check the trigger warnings first!
I would also really recommend the audiobook. It was so incredible to hear her story in her voice.
The book starts out in Jeannette’s childhood and then progresses to her acting days and then to her adult life post acting. It was a devastating yet eye opening journey to see her come to terms with how much her childhood hugely negatively impacted her life and ruined so many healthy habits she should’ve had in her adult life. And to see how the abusive from her mom was a huge huge part of that.
Would highly recommend as long as you check the trigger warnings first!
Read
August 10, 2022I feel weird giving someone's personal experience a rating so I'm leaving this un-rated, but please know that this was really something incredible. I absolutely recommend checking this one out if you're at all familiar with Jennette, but please do tread with caution if you're sensitive to discussions of eating disorders as this revolves pretty heavily around her struggles with disordered eating and bulimia.
CW: child abuse, narcissistic parents, disordered eating, fatphobia, terminal illness (breast cancer), hoarding, use of r-slur, depictions of ocd, depictions of bulimia/purging, gaslighting, emotional manipulation
CW: child abuse, narcissistic parents, disordered eating, fatphobia, terminal illness (breast cancer), hoarding, use of r-slur, depictions of ocd, depictions of bulimia/purging, gaslighting, emotional manipulation
December 1, 2022
the hype is right.
this is what everyone says it is: an excellent debut, a memoir that doesn't pull punches, honest, clear-eyed, and well-written.
am i glad i read it? no. this is a grueling read that i picked up based on just how often i heard it spoken of, a level of public discussion i have to assume had to do with the guilty thrill of finding out horrible secrets about people whose faces we see every day.
but that's what celebrity memoir is all about. secrets sell and it certainly isn't the author's fault that that's started rubbing me the wrong way.
bottom line: an excellent example of a genre i'm going to try to steer clear of.
this is what everyone says it is: an excellent debut, a memoir that doesn't pull punches, honest, clear-eyed, and well-written.
am i glad i read it? no. this is a grueling read that i picked up based on just how often i heard it spoken of, a level of public discussion i have to assume had to do with the guilty thrill of finding out horrible secrets about people whose faces we see every day.
but that's what celebrity memoir is all about. secrets sell and it certainly isn't the author's fault that that's started rubbing me the wrong way.
bottom line: an excellent example of a genre i'm going to try to steer clear of.
Read
August 6, 2022Jennette McCurdy writes a hard-hitting and propulsive memoir. I knew I’d be reading this the moment I came across the ballsy title/cover a few months ago, and am happy to report it did not disappoint. Well worth it if you grew up watching her on TV, or if you want to have a long think about the exploitation of child actors in Hollywood.
February 1, 2024
Immediate 5 star. Especially as a childhood iCarly fan, wow what these kids had to go through. Even though she doesn’t like hugs, I want to give Jennette a hug after finishing this one. You NEED to listen to it on audio!!!!
August 9, 2022
I’m glad her mom died too.
Read
August 12, 2022really really hard to read but really insightful and well written. audiobook was particularly great.
August 18, 2022
more child celebrities should write books methinks
October 4, 2022
for the record, i'm glad her mom died too
August 15, 2022
i am going to read the shit out of this book
April 1, 2025
THIS DESERVES EVERY OUNCE OF HYPE IT'S BEEN BLESSED WITH!
Warning to look up trigger warnings before proceeding. There is a LOT of triggering content in this book. It doesn't shy away from facing problems head on and with an unflinching tone.
I adored this book. It is so rare for me to be impacted this deeply.
When I tell you I stayed up until 5 am to finish this book because I simply couldn't sleep without knowing Jennette would be okay.
I grew up on iCarly. I love Sam. I watched this show with no inkling of an idea of what Jennette was going through. The fact that there are people out there that did know *cough* Dan *cough*, is sickening to me.
This isn't JUST a look at how horrifying Hollywood is, especially child stars, but it's also a harrowing depiction of how manipulative love can be. The way a parent's all consuming love for their child can be weaponized and watered to grow into something this vile and life altering is absolute insanity.
I truly wish the absolute best for Jennette McCurdy. I know she'll never see this. But my heart goes out to her and everything she has been forced to face. I hope she is awarded every ounce of happiness that a life can possibly offer. She deserves a life of no red lights, no lines, no pauses before 'I love you's. She impacted me so much with her honesty and I can't thank her enough for writing not only a horrifying story but also a damn good book.
Warning to look up trigger warnings before proceeding. There is a LOT of triggering content in this book. It doesn't shy away from facing problems head on and with an unflinching tone.
I adored this book. It is so rare for me to be impacted this deeply.
When I tell you I stayed up until 5 am to finish this book because I simply couldn't sleep without knowing Jennette would be okay.
I grew up on iCarly. I love Sam. I watched this show with no inkling of an idea of what Jennette was going through. The fact that there are people out there that did know *cough* Dan *cough*, is sickening to me.
This isn't JUST a look at how horrifying Hollywood is, especially child stars, but it's also a harrowing depiction of how manipulative love can be. The way a parent's all consuming love for their child can be weaponized and watered to grow into something this vile and life altering is absolute insanity.
I truly wish the absolute best for Jennette McCurdy. I know she'll never see this. But my heart goes out to her and everything she has been forced to face. I hope she is awarded every ounce of happiness that a life can possibly offer. She deserves a life of no red lights, no lines, no pauses before 'I love you's. She impacted me so much with her honesty and I can't thank her enough for writing not only a horrifying story but also a damn good book.
August 12, 2022
I’m happy Jennette was able to tell her story and show how terrible it is to have such an abusive mom and what the entertainment industry can do to a child.
My rating does not reflect how true and important the telling of her story is.
The writing of the story however, was very painful to get through. It could have been edited better with how repetitive it is. It also has no self reflecting within the story, not that she isn’t a victim cuz she is. How she viewed other women and other women friendships also bothered me. I can see how coming from such a competitive career like acting could HAVE caused that but, I would HAVE loved to see some self-reflecting on that part as well.
My rating does not reflect how true and important the telling of her story is.
The writing of the story however, was very painful to get through. It could have been edited better with how repetitive it is. It also has no self reflecting within the story, not that she isn’t a victim cuz she is. How she viewed other women and other women friendships also bothered me. I can see how coming from such a competitive career like acting could HAVE caused that but, I would HAVE loved to see some self-reflecting on that part as well.
January 9, 2023
Shit, I'm glad her Mom died too.
February 27, 2023
I was not a huge fan of Nickelodeon, and I watched their shows only once in a while during my childhood. Drake & Josh and iCarly were the two shows I watched. I particularly remember the part where Sam (Jennette McCurdy) talks about reading in iCarly, which became a famous meme.
Her acting in iCarly was spot on and funny. Jennette did a brilliant job while acting, which is why people like me who rarely watched the show still remember her.
Whenever we hear the name Jennette McCurdy a bubbly, loud, energetic young lady comes to our mind, as her friend Miranda Cosgrove mentions in this book. This book tells us that there were a lot of hardships and sorrow hidden behind those energetic and brilliant performances.
Seven key ideas from this book
1) If child labor is unethical, aren't child actors too unethical?
During December every year, when it is nearer to Christmas, there is something that everyone all over the world (especially in America) will do. It is to rewatch the Home Alone movie. The family dynamics of the McCallister family, ingenious script by John Huges, brilliant direction by Chris Colombus, fantastic music by John Williams, and extraordinary production design and sets will make us relive our childhood. Home Alone is pure nostalgia for many people.
Apart from everything mentioned above, the biggest factor that brings us back to rewatch Home Alone is the amazing acting by Macaulay Culkin. I was shocked when I heard that he had to sacrifice his entire childhood to entertain us. He was abused both physically and mentally by his jealous father. The law caught him with marijuana possession. He was arrested for speeding and many other illegal activities. The abuse has affected his mental health, which pushed him into addiction.
Parents using their children as money-making machines by making them actors and making them overwork for different movies when they should be going to school has been a severe issue in the life of many child actors. If we closely observe the career graph of child actors, we can see that only very few become great actors when they grow up.
In Jennette's story also, we can see that she was not at all interested in acting. But her mother forced her to act even from the age of six. Nobody even cared to ask her what Jennette liked to do. She tells in this book that she hated acting, which is why she quit acting after her mother died.
If child labor is unethical, then child actors are also unethical. Then the million-dollar question of who will do the children's role in the movies will arise. If child actors were not there, how would they have made movies like Harry Potter, where most of the main actors are children?
“I HATE ACTING CLASS. Even though it's a chunk of time away from Home, I don't look forward to this class the same way I look forward to church because I find acting even more uncomfortable than being stuck at Home."
2) How did the "Creator" make Jennette's life miserable?
This is another big problem child actors face, the predators on the shooting sets. The author mentions a "creator" who behaved harshly toward her. This same creator also allegedly misbehaved with some other crew members in a sexually inappropriate way.
We have heard about many child stars who were sexually harassed on the shooting sets. Some even make them work overtime, destroying the younger kids' enthusiasm and courage.
I think the only way to prevent child actors from being exploited by parents and crew members is by appointing an internal committee in every shooting set that even has access to mental health care professionals if needed. This committee should ensure that a certain percentage of children's earnings should be solely used for children's personal needs like education. This will prevent the children from being monetarily misused by their parents.
It is challenging to implement this as different countries have different rules and procedures. A very few countries have tried to implement a similar method. But they were all disasters due to their lack of planning and coordination. If Hollywood and people in the USA start implementing it perfectly, all the countries may slowly follow it. A similar rule should be implemented for the children on social media (especially a few family channels on youtube.), even though it will be a little bit more complicated to implement in those cases.
“Cut!” The Creator yells off camera, his mouth full of something."
“But our wardrobe designer said that The Creator explicitly asked for bikinis, and so she had to at least have me try on one or two of them so he had the option. ”
3) How are children's life affected by their narcissistic parents?
Falling into a narcissistic romantic relationship is a harrowing experience. Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother is a much more painful experience. This book shows how her mother totally controlled her daughter's life. The author tells us how proper medical help and therapy after such a long physical and mental abuse helped her recover from such abysmal despair.
"My mother emotionally, physically and mentally abused me in ways that will forever impact me."
"I realize that she's happy and I'm not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited."
4) Do we need to romanticize the dead?
This is a tough question to answer. Some say objectivity is born after a person dies. It is true that death changes the light in which we see people. But up to what extent? Can mourning alternate realities? These are a few among the many questions I have asked myself after reading one book some time ago on this topic. The author brings this topic back into the limelight.
Some people say it is better to speak about the positive sides of the dead person during the time of grief, but not focus on their negative facets as everybody also has a negative side to their personalities along with the positives. But what will we do if the person only has a negative side and the positive side is almost nil? I think it is better to remain silent than to focus on the negatives during mourning.
These are the questions that we should contemplate a lot before answering. The answers to the above questions vary depending on the individual's personality and character.
“Why do we romanticize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms, they're the most romanticized of anyone. ”
5) Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa
Both anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders. In anorexia, people restrict their food intake to lose weight. In bulimia, people will eat an excessive amount of food in a short period of time and then purge them using various methods to prevent weight gain. Both these disorders will cause severe health problems. For example in bulimia due to repeated trauma to the esophagus due to vomiting gastric acidic contents, the person can develop esophageal adenocarcinoma. So, this is a serious medical problem that healthcare professionals should treat.
"Jennette, what you're describing is... really unhealthy. Your mother essentially condoned your anorexia, encouraged it. She... taught it to you. That's abuse."
6) Friendship.
Building a good friendship takes a lot of time, effort, and sacrifice. We can see the author talking about friendships in this book. I remember reading about different types of friendship in a book.
Friendships can be classified into three.
-1) Friendship of pleasure - Friendship ends when the enjoyment and fun end.
- 2) Friendship of convenience - Friendship ends when the convenience factor end.
- 3) True friendship - Friendship based on mutual respect.
The author mentions that she dislikes friendship of convenience.
"I don't like knowing people in the context of things. "Oh, that's the person I work out with. That's the person I'm in a book club with. That's the person I did that show with." Because once the context ends, so does the friendship."
7) What is the problem with comparing our life with that of successful people?
In this age of social media, every one of us has a tendency to know more about the life of successful people from their social media profiles and compare our life with theirs. The biggest problem is that people only post the positive side of their lives on social media. So checking others' Instagram profiles and comparing our life to others can push us into anxiety and depression.
In Jennette's case, she had Ariana Grande as the co-star in one of the shows, and she developed a habit of comparing her life with Ariane's. This is a habit we should never develop, and the author tells us all the troubles she had to face due to this behavior.
"The third is that Ariana is at the stage in her career where she's popping up on every 30 Under 30 list that exists. And I'm at the stage in my career where my team is excited that I'm the new face of Rebecca Bonbon, a tween clothing line featuring a cat with her tongue sticking out. Sold exclusively at Walmart. And I frequently make the mistake of comparing my career to Ariana's. I can't help it. I'm constantly in the same environment as her, and she doesn't exactly try to hide her successes."
My favourite three lines from this book
"Suddenly, I feel just like that little eleven-year-old girl who was confused and scared and uncertain. That eleven-year-old girl who was doubtful that I knew the whole truth of my situation, who was unsure that my mother was the hero she pretended to be, but who shoved that doubt down."
"I don't like when grown-ups make faces or sounds that I don't understand. It's frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm missing something.”
"And the kids who are annoying, don't take direction, ask questions—those are the kids who won't get sent out on auditions. The kids who will get auditions are the ones who shut up and do as they're told."
What could have been better?
The title of this book is a brutal one. I think Jennette should have given it a much more positive title. This current title will indeed pull the attention of many new readers to this book. But it also has its demerits. Whenever the author hears or sees the name of this book in the future, the first emotion that will come to her mind might be anger and sadness just because of this title.
I can never tell that the author should have forgiven her mother as she had to suffer a lot due to her. But still, I think the title is brutal, and it should have been a different optimistic one.
Rating
5/5 This celebrity memoir might be a difficult book, but you should never miss the opportunity to read it.
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August 25, 2022
as victoria justice would say: ‘i think we’re ALL glad her mom died’.
August 6, 2024
Chances are, if you have a TikTok or Instagram you know what this book is. I mean, I'm Glad My Mom Died was on back order already the morning it was published and was a sought after title all August and is a book you just cannot avoid if you have an internet connection or local bookstore. Nor should you. Jennette McCurdy, the former iCarly actress, speaks so openly and candidly about a lifelong cycle of abuse and dependency with her mother (who passed in, as the title likely led you to assume), chronicling trauma and serious mental health struggles such as eating disorders that all were brought upon her through the need to serve her mother’s wishes. It’s one I’ve had right in everyone’s faces at the bookstore since we finally got copies, as the title is sure to solicit reactions and I privately enjoy seeing them, but also it is an important look at abuse and recovery. I had to finally read it. I mean we all deserve a Hot Girl Summer but can I truly say I had one if I didn’t read any Colleen Hoover, Beach Read or at least this, the most popular book of the end of summer? No. And I’m glad I did pick this up to read at work because this deserves all the hype and more, and I hope this is another success on McCurdy's road to improved mental health. While she loved her mother, their relationship was often abusive and left a lot to detangle in adulthood. Deeply personal and moving, this is a look into McCurdy's life as well as a necessary warning about the ways young girls are objectified, commodified and exploited, even by those closest to them.
‘I realize that she’s happy and I’m not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited.’
That line says it all, honestly. This is an upsetting account of McCurdy's life, and one where all the warning signs were out in the open and ignored. Especially by Nickelodeon who don’t exactly come across well here. We’ve heard horror stories about the treatment of child actors for as long as there have been child actors, though this isn’t simply another case file of grievances but a really heartfelt self-examination and testimony. McCurdy comes across as very open and honest, and it really paints a positive look at her as a person who has gone through so much. There are times when she discusses the anger she felt, which feels justified and as Soraya Chemaly talks about in the book Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, sometimes anger is the appropriate response in order to not be silenced or ignored. It can be an important tool, or an armor as McCurdy describes:
She also expresses feelings of regret for having lashed out in these times, looking at how abuse shouldn’t just beget another cycle of abuse, and these discussions seem to come from a place of maturity and healing. It is likely very encouraging and empowering for victims of abuse to read much of this book, though heads up, it does get into some very triggering situations and topics.
‘Mom only sits in when I’m being the thing she wanted to be.’
McCurdy shows how so much of her life was lived to be what her mother wanted, and much of this became painful. She was raised in a Mormon household and was homeschooled by her mother, a mom who wanted to always present a perfect image and often lashed out hurtfully. In short, McCurdy is open about her mom having narcissistic tendencies, and while she is still caring for her mother (she does make it clear she very much loved her mother), the scars are quickly apparent. From years of life like this, McCurdy felt she lacked an authentic self, and this carried over into struggles with body image from seeing one’s own self as an object that serves others instead of something personally only yours. This is a major theme in the essays in My Body by Emily Ratajkowski for those looking for further reading on the subject. When fearing her breasts would grow during puberty, the mother encouraged extreme calorie reduction and dangerous dieting practices. While discussions of the mother bookend this memoir, the bulk of the middle portion is about eating disorders. Most tragic is the moment in the hospital with her siblings saying goodbye to her mother when she says the one thing she thinks could actually make her mother proud of her:
There is a lot to be said about the ways this reflects a general attitude around young women and girls, especially in the entertainment industry and how it robs them of their own agency. ‘I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her, so I stayed silent,’ she writes, and in this we see how these systems perpetuate themselves: silence. Young women and girls are broken down to believe they are in service to another (we could get into a long discussion on how this is the social framing inflicted by the intersections of misogyny and capitalism) and silence is induced by making them first feel they wouldn’t be believed or listened to but also that they deserve it, it’s for their own good or that they don’t even have the agency to speak out. It is truly tragic how often victims of abuse are silenced when they do speak out, which is another tool in oppression.
So this book is a lot, but it is also very good and seems very healing. I was under the impression based on how it was presented and marketed that this was more of a comedic memoir, so heads up if that was what you assumed as well, but the weight and power of her words as she discusses a lifetime of abuse is definitely worth reading for. It does read very plainly, almost like a “class assignment” type of tone recounting events, though they are certainly difficult memories to have to revisit. I hope McCurdy is doing well, and it is very honorable of her to use her experience to reach out and help others in this way. There could have been more depth to some of it, but this is less a look at the causes and social critiques and more at the personal effects she endured. There are great reminders too about how to move forward and not get bogged down in being perfect, such as when she writes that ‘slips are totally normal. When you have a slip, it’s just that. A slip. It doesn’t define you. It doesn’t make you a failure. The most important thing is that you don’t let that slip become a slide‘. I won’t get too much more into it, as you should probably read the book and this is McCurdy's story to tell, but I am very glad I read this.
'My mom didn't get better. But I will.'
‘I realize that she’s happy and I’m not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited.’
That line says it all, honestly. This is an upsetting account of McCurdy's life, and one where all the warning signs were out in the open and ignored. Especially by Nickelodeon who don’t exactly come across well here. We’ve heard horror stories about the treatment of child actors for as long as there have been child actors, though this isn’t simply another case file of grievances but a really heartfelt self-examination and testimony. McCurdy comes across as very open and honest, and it really paints a positive look at her as a person who has gone through so much. There are times when she discusses the anger she felt, which feels justified and as Soraya Chemaly talks about in the book Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, sometimes anger is the appropriate response in order to not be silenced or ignored. It can be an important tool, or an armor as McCurdy describes:
‘I became an angry person with no tolerance for anyone. I'm aware of this shift and yet have no desire to change it. If anything, I want it. It's armor. It's easier to be angry than to feel to pain underneath it.’
She also expresses feelings of regret for having lashed out in these times, looking at how abuse shouldn’t just beget another cycle of abuse, and these discussions seem to come from a place of maturity and healing. It is likely very encouraging and empowering for victims of abuse to read much of this book, though heads up, it does get into some very triggering situations and topics.
‘Mom only sits in when I’m being the thing she wanted to be.’
McCurdy shows how so much of her life was lived to be what her mother wanted, and much of this became painful. She was raised in a Mormon household and was homeschooled by her mother, a mom who wanted to always present a perfect image and often lashed out hurtfully. In short, McCurdy is open about her mom having narcissistic tendencies, and while she is still caring for her mother (she does make it clear she very much loved her mother), the scars are quickly apparent. From years of life like this, McCurdy felt she lacked an authentic self, and this carried over into struggles with body image from seeing one’s own self as an object that serves others instead of something personally only yours. This is a major theme in the essays in My Body by Emily Ratajkowski for those looking for further reading on the subject. When fearing her breasts would grow during puberty, the mother encouraged extreme calorie reduction and dangerous dieting practices. While discussions of the mother bookend this memoir, the bulk of the middle portion is about eating disorders. Most tragic is the moment in the hospital with her siblings saying goodbye to her mother when she says the one thing she thinks could actually make her mother proud of her:
‘I'm in the ICU with my dying mother, and the thing that I'm sure will get her to wake up, is the fact that in the days since mom has been hospitalized, my fear and sadness have morphed into the perfect anorexia motivation cocktail, and finally I have achieved mom's current goal weight for me: 89 pounds.’
There is a lot to be said about the ways this reflects a general attitude around young women and girls, especially in the entertainment industry and how it robs them of their own agency. ‘I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her, so I stayed silent,’ she writes, and in this we see how these systems perpetuate themselves: silence. Young women and girls are broken down to believe they are in service to another (we could get into a long discussion on how this is the social framing inflicted by the intersections of misogyny and capitalism) and silence is induced by making them first feel they wouldn’t be believed or listened to but also that they deserve it, it’s for their own good or that they don’t even have the agency to speak out. It is truly tragic how often victims of abuse are silenced when they do speak out, which is another tool in oppression.
So this book is a lot, but it is also very good and seems very healing. I was under the impression based on how it was presented and marketed that this was more of a comedic memoir, so heads up if that was what you assumed as well, but the weight and power of her words as she discusses a lifetime of abuse is definitely worth reading for. It does read very plainly, almost like a “class assignment” type of tone recounting events, though they are certainly difficult memories to have to revisit. I hope McCurdy is doing well, and it is very honorable of her to use her experience to reach out and help others in this way. There could have been more depth to some of it, but this is less a look at the causes and social critiques and more at the personal effects she endured. There are great reminders too about how to move forward and not get bogged down in being perfect, such as when she writes that ‘slips are totally normal. When you have a slip, it’s just that. A slip. It doesn’t define you. It doesn’t make you a failure. The most important thing is that you don’t let that slip become a slide‘. I won’t get too much more into it, as you should probably read the book and this is McCurdy's story to tell, but I am very glad I read this.
'My mom didn't get better. But I will.'
December 12, 2022
Memoirs should be one’s reflection about one’s past, otherwise is just a journaling exercise.
This whole book felt juvenile, repetitive and under-edited.
The dialogues were weird and unbelievable because they totally lacked context (and before someone misinterprets my words, I am not saying that I don’t believe Jennette words, but that simply writing down her abusive mother’s worst moments is cathartic, yes, but it’s not in any way compelling to read, because there is no built-up, no tension, just straight up abuse).
The inexplicable decision of using a present tense killed every chance of expressing self-awareness, self-reflection and healing, and the book felt like a journaling therapy exercise. It didn’t help the fact that writing the memoir focusing on traumas and single events, each one of them taking up one short chapter, made the “narration” very disjointed.
The blurb is also very unfaithful to the actual content of the book: this memoir was described as “heartbreaking” and “hilarious”, and I have my doubts about the latter. I smiled twice, in the space of 92 chapters.
As a person who has a strained relationship with her mentally-ill mother, I am proud of Jennette for being able to tell her story, but unfortunately her memoir fell short, for me.
This whole book felt juvenile, repetitive and under-edited.
The dialogues were weird and unbelievable because they totally lacked context (and before someone misinterprets my words, I am not saying that I don’t believe Jennette words, but that simply writing down her abusive mother’s worst moments is cathartic, yes, but it’s not in any way compelling to read, because there is no built-up, no tension, just straight up abuse).
The inexplicable decision of using a present tense killed every chance of expressing self-awareness, self-reflection and healing, and the book felt like a journaling therapy exercise. It didn’t help the fact that writing the memoir focusing on traumas and single events, each one of them taking up one short chapter, made the “narration” very disjointed.
The blurb is also very unfaithful to the actual content of the book: this memoir was described as “heartbreaking” and “hilarious”, and I have my doubts about the latter. I smiled twice, in the space of 92 chapters.
As a person who has a strained relationship with her mentally-ill mother, I am proud of Jennette for being able to tell her story, but unfortunately her memoir fell short, for me.
February 12, 2024
I’m also glad her mom died, the absolute fucking bitch.
January 3, 2023
you know what jennette? i’m also glad your mom died!!!!
Read
August 10, 2022very powerful and also very funny. this is by far one of the best memoirs I've read
December 31, 2022
This book was incredible. I can't imagine going through as much as Jennette McCurdy did and then having the courage to recount those hardships for all to read. I know this is a book that will stick with me and I'll continue to process the stories she shared within the book.
August 12, 2022
Wow. A very revealing and honest memoir. Unsure what parts people found funny. I didn’t laugh once and didn’t see any parts that were structured for humor.
Nickelodeon and Disney was a huge part of my childhood and I loved iCarly and loved Sam. Hearing Jennette’s story is another example of how you don’t know what’s happening to someone behind closed doors. As talented as she was in acting, I’m glad she made the decision to walk away. No one should be forced into a career they never wanted - especially a career as draining and consuming emotionally, mentally and physically as acting.
Her mother’s abuse was tough to hear. It’s more painful to see how much Jennette wanted to appease her mom all the way until the very end of her life. She consistently put her mom’s needs before her own and her mom would willingly exploit and manipulate her knowing this.
The title and cover is alarming and provocative but justified. If you assume Jennette never loved her mother, the story proves the exact opposite. The title is not a reflection of Jennette but the treatment of her mother towards her. Her mother severely betrayed and abused her and Jennette loved her while she was alive despite it. But time and healing allowed her to see the long term damage her mother has done and some damage is irreversible. Her story sheds more light to how we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to all the different forms, relationships and dynamics abuse can happen. If anything, parental abuse should be looked at with the utmost seriousness due to the power dynamic and pressures to love your family despite their faults, even when they hurt you.
I could go on, but if any part of her story interests you, I would recommend reading. Major trigger warnings for abuse, eating disorders, bulimia, and anorexia. She is very blunt and candid about her life with eating disorders.
Jennette from an early age wanted to write but her mom didn’t support her. I’m glad Jennette is finally able to do what she always wanted.
Nickelodeon and Disney was a huge part of my childhood and I loved iCarly and loved Sam. Hearing Jennette’s story is another example of how you don’t know what’s happening to someone behind closed doors. As talented as she was in acting, I’m glad she made the decision to walk away. No one should be forced into a career they never wanted - especially a career as draining and consuming emotionally, mentally and physically as acting.
Her mother’s abuse was tough to hear. It’s more painful to see how much Jennette wanted to appease her mom all the way until the very end of her life. She consistently put her mom’s needs before her own and her mom would willingly exploit and manipulate her knowing this.
The title and cover is alarming and provocative but justified. If you assume Jennette never loved her mother, the story proves the exact opposite. The title is not a reflection of Jennette but the treatment of her mother towards her. Her mother severely betrayed and abused her and Jennette loved her while she was alive despite it. But time and healing allowed her to see the long term damage her mother has done and some damage is irreversible. Her story sheds more light to how we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to all the different forms, relationships and dynamics abuse can happen. If anything, parental abuse should be looked at with the utmost seriousness due to the power dynamic and pressures to love your family despite their faults, even when they hurt you.
I could go on, but if any part of her story interests you, I would recommend reading. Major trigger warnings for abuse, eating disorders, bulimia, and anorexia. She is very blunt and candid about her life with eating disorders.
Jennette from an early age wanted to write but her mom didn’t support her. I’m glad Jennette is finally able to do what she always wanted.
August 25, 2022
my blog review
TW: Anorexia, abuse (emotional, child), bulimia, cancer, eating disorders, drugs and alcohol abuse, death, grief, mental illness, manipulation, grooming.
To me, reading and rating a memoir is something delicate, because that person is opening up about their experiences, their traumas, thoughts and emotions that are very private or painful sometimes.
Wow, I have no words. I'm just proud of Jennette and wish for her the best because she deserves a good life, happiness and so much love.
Must of us grew up watching Nickelodeon shows like iCarly, Drake & Josh, Big Time Rush, Zoey 101 and many more, laughing at many characters' jokes or actions, not knowing that perhaps some of those actors were having a really bad time.
This memoir isn't about Jennette's days in Nickelodeon, yes, she talks about some of her struggles. This memoir is about her early years, before and getting in the entertainment industry, her teen years and early adulthood. It's really painful to read about Jennette's struggles with food. While on iCarly she (her character) was obsessed with food, Jennette was obsessed with it, too, but not in the same way. Her mother impossed onto her this unhealthy routine that developed in anorexia and years later in bulimia.
This book is totally worth to read. And I totally loved it. Jennette is a wonderful story-teller, I liked the writing, that is so captivating and beautiful.
I'm really proud of her and wish to her nothing but happiness.
TW: Anorexia, abuse (emotional, child), bulimia, cancer, eating disorders, drugs and alcohol abuse, death, grief, mental illness, manipulation, grooming.
To me, reading and rating a memoir is something delicate, because that person is opening up about their experiences, their traumas, thoughts and emotions that are very private or painful sometimes.
Wow, I have no words. I'm just proud of Jennette and wish for her the best because she deserves a good life, happiness and so much love.
Must of us grew up watching Nickelodeon shows like iCarly, Drake & Josh, Big Time Rush, Zoey 101 and many more, laughing at many characters' jokes or actions, not knowing that perhaps some of those actors were having a really bad time.
This memoir isn't about Jennette's days in Nickelodeon, yes, she talks about some of her struggles. This memoir is about her early years, before and getting in the entertainment industry, her teen years and early adulthood. It's really painful to read about Jennette's struggles with food. While on iCarly she (her character) was obsessed with food, Jennette was obsessed with it, too, but not in the same way. Her mother impossed onto her this unhealthy routine that developed in anorexia and years later in bulimia.
This book is totally worth to read. And I totally loved it. Jennette is a wonderful story-teller, I liked the writing, that is so captivating and beautiful.
I'm really proud of her and wish to her nothing but happiness.
January 2, 2025
Another Child Star Crumbles and it was All her Mother’s Fault. She now wants to Tour and Talk about it Non-Stop
Changed it To 1 Star. This is my First Time Ever Doing That, but just can not get on board with this Opportunist Jeannette who is not Healed at 30, Complains so Shy and Forced to Talk on iCarly because of mother, now she thinks she’s better~so she writes book with Mom and iCarly Splashed in Blurb and Tours Constantly Speaking and Complaining about these People. Read too many other books, never felt remotely like I do with this one
I really wasn’t interested in this audio 🎧 book. I thought the Title was ok since I was going to be reading Satire. I didn’t find anything funny about this one. It’s hard to put my finger on it exactly, but this one just doesn’t sit right. If you want out of a certain life, you leave, not throw up your name on a book with that title and it’s all about iCarly. She does Tours and Shows doing this. It just strikes me as ‘profound and honest’ is anything but, it’s just being A Mean Girl. You are upset with your mother and want out of acting, you don’t go on a tour and make money off this type of salacious book. She is not healed, she wants to attack her mother. If you are truly healed, you don’t want to do that and anger and hurt you work through and get a full complex understanding of yourself and the other person. You don’t go all over Social Media promoting yourself, remember you absolutely hate that, shy girl.
I was really surprised when I read this author is 30 years old. With all the therapy she got, she doesn’t seem like she has much depth or much to say. Yes, I get it, it sounds like her mother was pushing her too hard into being a star. She pressured her about her weight. I am not suggesting this was wonderful parenting, but for a 30 year old who really doesn’t seem to do anything but blame her Mom for her problems, I just think she does not come across as an insightful person.
She goes to great lengths to tell us about her vomit and chunks and all. Is that supposed to make me laugh? 20 minutes of hearing about your barf without making me feel an understanding of eating disorders. Notice she only speaks of hers, no deeper caring for others suffering from this. Her Mom died 8 years ago, so why exactly did she then continue to try and keep a career going since she hated it that much?
So, ok you don’t enjoy acting and want to do something else. I don’t think many recovered people would invest their time in touring and writing a book that uses a Sensationalized Cover~Smiling and Holding an Urn, Discusses Endlessly All her Mom’s Problems and in the blurb, iCarly is Prominently Mentioned. If it wasn’t she would get her dream, no one would have a clue who she is. She would be free to explore many avenues of her life that perhaps give her some joy. She would also have to see how she does using her own resources. She might succeed and she might fail, but that is living an adult life.
Instead she doesn’t seem to understand that yes her mother had problems, but Jeannette does, too. Many, Currently. Do I care about her going to a party with her Life Coach and if she eats a Cookie or not. No.
The audio book sounded flat, with no emotional gravity and it is unusual for me not to care about a person or difficulties they face. Yet, that is how I felt. Perhaps, because she does not sound authentic. She is still talking and acting like 16 year old Sam.
Doing what she is currently doing comes across as an opportunist and well narcissistic. She whines continually, complains she never got a chance to do anything she was proud of. Yet, she was doing a Spin Off of iCarly’s Sam at 21 years old. Her mother had died. The show ended. So, why did she not get roles and the dream jobs she thinks she deserved? Her mother caused the problem? She was supposed to get her own show, something where she was the central focus. This she thinks sounds fantastic. Something she deserves. Netflix canceled her show. Perhaps, Jeannette many of the issues you encountered are about you. You need to accept some responsibility for your life and move away from making money off carrying on how awful your mother was. I certainly was put off by this and it doesn’t sound like much of a way to live. Actually, do something substantial and that has an impact for you and others.
Changed it To 1 Star. This is my First Time Ever Doing That, but just can not get on board with this Opportunist Jeannette who is not Healed at 30, Complains so Shy and Forced to Talk on iCarly because of mother, now she thinks she’s better~so she writes book with Mom and iCarly Splashed in Blurb and Tours Constantly Speaking and Complaining about these People. Read too many other books, never felt remotely like I do with this one
I really wasn’t interested in this audio 🎧 book. I thought the Title was ok since I was going to be reading Satire. I didn’t find anything funny about this one. It’s hard to put my finger on it exactly, but this one just doesn’t sit right. If you want out of a certain life, you leave, not throw up your name on a book with that title and it’s all about iCarly. She does Tours and Shows doing this. It just strikes me as ‘profound and honest’ is anything but, it’s just being A Mean Girl. You are upset with your mother and want out of acting, you don’t go on a tour and make money off this type of salacious book. She is not healed, she wants to attack her mother. If you are truly healed, you don’t want to do that and anger and hurt you work through and get a full complex understanding of yourself and the other person. You don’t go all over Social Media promoting yourself, remember you absolutely hate that, shy girl.
I was really surprised when I read this author is 30 years old. With all the therapy she got, she doesn’t seem like she has much depth or much to say. Yes, I get it, it sounds like her mother was pushing her too hard into being a star. She pressured her about her weight. I am not suggesting this was wonderful parenting, but for a 30 year old who really doesn’t seem to do anything but blame her Mom for her problems, I just think she does not come across as an insightful person.
She goes to great lengths to tell us about her vomit and chunks and all. Is that supposed to make me laugh? 20 minutes of hearing about your barf without making me feel an understanding of eating disorders. Notice she only speaks of hers, no deeper caring for others suffering from this. Her Mom died 8 years ago, so why exactly did she then continue to try and keep a career going since she hated it that much?
So, ok you don’t enjoy acting and want to do something else. I don’t think many recovered people would invest their time in touring and writing a book that uses a Sensationalized Cover~Smiling and Holding an Urn, Discusses Endlessly All her Mom’s Problems and in the blurb, iCarly is Prominently Mentioned. If it wasn’t she would get her dream, no one would have a clue who she is. She would be free to explore many avenues of her life that perhaps give her some joy. She would also have to see how she does using her own resources. She might succeed and she might fail, but that is living an adult life.
Instead she doesn’t seem to understand that yes her mother had problems, but Jeannette does, too. Many, Currently. Do I care about her going to a party with her Life Coach and if she eats a Cookie or not. No.
The audio book sounded flat, with no emotional gravity and it is unusual for me not to care about a person or difficulties they face. Yet, that is how I felt. Perhaps, because she does not sound authentic. She is still talking and acting like 16 year old Sam.
Doing what she is currently doing comes across as an opportunist and well narcissistic. She whines continually, complains she never got a chance to do anything she was proud of. Yet, she was doing a Spin Off of iCarly’s Sam at 21 years old. Her mother had died. The show ended. So, why did she not get roles and the dream jobs she thinks she deserved? Her mother caused the problem? She was supposed to get her own show, something where she was the central focus. This she thinks sounds fantastic. Something she deserves. Netflix canceled her show. Perhaps, Jeannette many of the issues you encountered are about you. You need to accept some responsibility for your life and move away from making money off carrying on how awful your mother was. I certainly was put off by this and it doesn’t sound like much of a way to live. Actually, do something substantial and that has an impact for you and others.
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