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Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear Hardcover – November 30, 2021

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 162 ratings

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The 1980s and 1990s, the height of the AIDS crisis in the United States, was decades ago now, and many of the stories from this time remain hidden: A Catholic nun from a small Midwestern town packs up her life to move to New York City, where she throws herself into a community under assault from HIV and AIDS. A young priest sees himself in the many gay men dying from AIDS and grapples with how best to respond, eventually coming out as gay and putting his own career on the line. A gay Catholic with HIV loses his partner to AIDS and then flees the church, focusing his energy on his own health rather than fight an institution seemingly rejecting him.

Set against the backdrop of the HIV and AIDS epidemic of the late twentieth century and the Catholic Church's crackdown on gay and lesbian activists, journalist Michael O'Loughlin searches out the untold stories of those who didn't look away, who at great personal cost chose compassion--even as he seeks insight for LGBTQ people of faith struggling to find a home in religious communities today.

This is one journalist's--gay and Catholic himself--compelling picture of those quiet heroes who responded to human suffering when so much of society--and so much of the church--told them to look away. These pure acts of compassion and mercy offer us hope and inspiration as we continue to confront existential questions about what it means to be Americans, Christians, and human beings responding to those most in need.

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From the Publisher

Book cover for Hidden Mercy

author image for Michael J. O'Loughlin
Michael J. O’Loughlin’s Hidden Mercy includes chapters such as:
  • Catholic to the Bones
  • “Stop the Church”
  • “You Couldn’t Say It Was Wrong”
  • Born This Way
  • Priests With AIDS
  • Redeemed In San Francisco
  • AIDS Crucifixion

An Inside Look at Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear

Excerpt from Chapter 1: Time Was Of The Essence

It might go without saying, but each person in this book is unique. Though each story takes different twists and turns, many of the people I interviewed for this book have at least one thing in common. They were willing to offer insights about a time in history filled with pain, grief, hope, anger, love, and loss, in an effort to keep this history alive and introduce it to others so that we might feel less alone.

The Church will come around when it discovers that there are gay people who have lived full

“We were acting as witnesses to the refusal of the church to love all of its members equally.”

“When you’re dealing with a disease, you’ve got to listen to the people who are suffering most in

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This poignant account shines a well-deserved spotlight on Catholics who chose compassion over fear." --Publishers Weekly

"A superbly researched, beautifully written and vividly presented portrait of an overlooked time in modern history. An important book about a key part of Catholic and American history that had to be written." --James Martin, S.J., New York Times bestselling author of Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter Into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity

"With the precision and drive of an expert investigative journalist, the heart of a poet and the soul of a faithful, gay Catholic conflicted by his own spiritual home, his quest for answers about what the Church did, and did not do, in the mysterious and terrifying beginnings of AIDS in America unearths tragic yet beautiful stories of love and death that may have been lost without this magnificent and passionate documentary." --Jeannie Gaffigan, author of When Life Gives You Pears: The Healing Power of Family, Faith, and Funny People

"Michael O'Loughlin sets his sights on an aspect of recent American history and culture too little examined. Hidden Mercy will cause discussion, argument, and maybe recommitment to an ideal of faith in action that can still play out in our day. And a good thing too." --Gregory Maguire, New York Times bestselling author of Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

"Michael J. O'Loughlin offers a moving personal history as well as a well written and reported account of the brave priests and nuns--queer and straight alike--that jeopardized their own career and standings with the church by merely treating LGBTQ Catholics with dignity during the height of the AIDS crisis." --Michael Arceneaux, New York Times bestselling author of I Can't Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé and I Don't Want To Die Poor

"O'Loughlin introduces us to so many unsung heroes of the AIDS crisis, and their lives vividly showcase the compassion and the cruelty that coexist in one community. A harrowing and deeply personal story." --Molly Worthen, associate professor of history at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, New York Times contributing opinion writer, and author of Apostles of Reason: The Crisis of Authority in American Evangelicalism

"Love - much like the power of community - really does stand at the center of Hidden Mercy. O'Loughlin never loses sight of that, and queer history is better because of it." --Xorje Olivares, host of the podcast "Queer I am Lord"

"Compulsively readable, vigorous and alive, full of searching, complicated, tough-minded, loving people." --Paul Lisicky, author of Later and The Narrow Door

"With care and curiosity, O'Loughlin weaves a compelling narrative that exists at the intersection of faith and sexuality. What follows is a story that is at times funny, surprising, and ultimately restores some of my own faith that people can and will show up for each other." --Tobin Low, editor at "This American Life" and co-creator of the podcast "Nancy"

"Hidden Mercy unburies the lost testimonies of American Catholic priests and nuns who dared cross into the no man's land between queerness and religion at the height of the AIDS crisis. Punks of the collar, renegades of the cloth, they risked excommunication in the earliest days of the 'gay cancer' and found religious justification to provide a kind of forbidden care." --Robert W. Fieseler, author of Tinderbox: The Untold Story of the Up Stairs Lounge Fire and the Rise of Gay Liberation

About the Author

Michael J. O'Loughlin is an award-winning journalist and the national correspondent for America Media. He is the host of the podcast Plague: Untold Stories of AIDS and the Catholic Church, recommended by The New York Times and featured on NPR. Prior to joining America magazine, O'Loughlin was a national reporter for The Boston Globe. He has written for The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Foreign Policy, National Catholic Reporter, and The Advocate and has been featured on MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, CBS, and NPR. He lives in Chicago.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Broadleaf Books (November 30, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 281 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1506467709
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1506467702
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.3 x 1.2 x 9.1 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 162 ratings

About the author

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Michael O'Loughlin
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Michael J. O'Loughlin is the national correspondent for America Media, where he writes regularly about the Catholic Church, and the host of the podcast, "Plague: Untold Stories of AIDS and the Catholic Church."

The "Plague" podcast was recommended by The New York Times and won awards from The National LGBTQ Journalists Association, the Religion News Association, and the Catholic Press Association. Mike is the author of a book based on the podcast, Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear (November 2021, Broadleaf Books).

He is also author of The Tweetable Pope: A Spiritual Revolution in 140 Characters (2015, HarperOne).

Previously a staff writer for The Boston Globe's Crux, Mike has also written for The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Foreign Policy, The Advocate, Religion News Service. He has been interviewed on MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, CBS, NPR and by several local and regional media outlets.

Follow him and sign up for author updates at mikeoloughlin.com.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
162 global ratings
A human response despite stigma & fear
5 Stars
A human response despite stigma & fear
Great work in documenting the HIV/AIDS crisis in the US and the responses of Catholics— amid the urgency of activists and the moralistic hand wringing of the institutional Church. I lived through this time, and it was very helpful to hear about events from those who were at the front lines of care. I love the journalistic approach of the book, getting at what happened with people, how they reacted and responded, and tracing their journey even to today.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on December 1, 2021
This meticulously researched and compelling account of the dark days of the AIDS epidemic and the modern day saints who put themselves in the line of fire of their church's hierarchy to demonstrate what it was and is to be truly Christ-like is an extremely powerful read. Mr. O'Loughlin does what any gifted writer does, he sets his reader on an emotional roller coaster. At times I found myself smiling and at other times on the verge of tears. I was truly captivated by the warmth and compassion of each of the stories of the struggles of the AIDS victims and the heroes, the caretakers, who were an example to all. From Sister Carol who showed more love and compassion than anyone I know to Father Tony McGuire who opened his heart and parish to those on the fringes of society, Mr. O'Loughlin brings to life characters so vibrant, so laudable, that one feels we have known them all our entire life and if we didn't we certainly want to know them now. By the time I came to the last chapter, I found myself saying, "Please, just one more story." For fear of hyperbole, I cannot remember ever being so moved by a book as I was with this one. This book cries out to be turned into a filmed documentary!
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2021
O’Loughlin writes about a troubling period in our country’s history. A period, not often enough covered, that saw fear, sorrow, anger, confusion and importantly, love. O’Loughlin manages to “look for the helpers”, even during these dark times.

The author treats the victims of the disease with the dignity and respect with which they deserve. He also speaks of the men and women, inside a church that was much too slow to act, who followed their faith and not the mandates of those leading the institution.

This book is an important work in a time of apathy, condescension, even hate in our country toward those suffering from a misunderstood disease. It took the president, Ronald Reagan, nearly six years to finally deliver a major speech on the subject. “Gay Plague and “punishment from God” were all too often heard.

Fortunately O’Loughlin’s diligent research of this time also led him to discover and report on those who refused to turn their backs on so many suffering. In a clear and concise narrative O’Loughlin weaves a story that is both heartbreaking and uplifting. While the raw emotion of those afflicted is covered so too is the courage, determination and love of those helping,

O’Loughlin’s work is an important chapter in a story that needs to be told.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2022
I lived through this period as a Gay Activist and member of a LGBTQ affirming Catholic group. This made me very interested in reading/ getting wider perspective on the Catholic Church’s response to AIDS.
I very much liked meeting ( through the book) people such as Sister Carol and Father Bill McNichols as they struggled to serve the great needs of PWAs ( as people With AIDS was abbreviated ). The situations they found themselves in were very relatable - and it was inspiring to read their stories, in terms of their personal growth- the institutional choices they faced and their exhaustion and frustration at times.
I found myself less drawn to the Bishops and Church officials - many of their actions were much as I remembered from that era- dogmatic and meddling in politics to harm the LGBTQ community. However- I did gain some appreciation for their providing physical space and other resources for much needed medical care.
Some other touching moments fill the book - and make the bigger story relatable including the International Mr. Leather and Leather Community participating in a religious/ healing event- LGBTQ doctors and nurses and the friendships between urban gay couples and small town ( but big hearted ) nuns.
I am very pleased with this book- and skimmed ( often re-reading ) it whole a second time for a book discussion. It was illuminating on both reads.
From the perspective of a person involved in the Church - but more so Gay social and activist - community - the mercy was indeed often hidden !
A nuanced look at a complex situation- that touches the heart and soul while providing a great deal of fascinating history and information.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2022
I first discovered Michael through America Magazine and his podcast, Plague. As a Catholic and someone who worked in HIV/AIDS medicine, I was thrilled to learn more about how these two worlds came together yet often collided. The podcast was wonderfully done and so too is this book.

Hidden Mercy is first and foremost well-written and informative. Michael is clearly a skilled writer. But where he truly excels is in his ability to weave his own relationships and experiences into the story while never becoming the focus of it.

You’ll get reacquainted with some of the characters from the podcast and dive deeper into their lives. The author does a great job of keeping the narrative balanced and by the end of the book you can take an objective view of the crisis. Society and the Church often failed. But many individuals came together and saved lives. They provided comfort, care, and restored dignity to those who suffered and died. Who else do we know that suffered and died? Christ is present in all of us.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on December 7, 2021
Simultaneously Intimate and epic, written with a casual, graceful clarity., this work tells of compassion in the pews and institutional structures focused on other “imperatives.” Without anger it also sensitively illustrates the ambivalence of faithful individuals (including the author) caught between the inspiration of mercy and the fearful strictures of authority.
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

CJ
5.0 out of 5 stars Long overdue……
Reviewed in Canada on December 31, 2021
The title of Michael O’Loughlin’s beautifully written book is perfect: hidden stories and heroes that are important for us to know about and brought into the light. While it is a walk-through and deeper insight into the church and the AIDS crisis, it is also a very personal journey of discovery. You will weep, feel anger rise up, and hold your breath at the tenderness, compassion and love that is on display. This is a very important book, deserving of all the praise and good reviews that it is receiving and as a reader, I look forward to more from this gifted writer.
One person found this helpful
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Gerard Swan
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for those that were there and for those who don't know what happened.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 24, 2022
This is a gem of a book based on the Podcast series (also worth listing to) 'Plague: Untold Stories of AIDS and the Catholic Church'.

It draws on the stories of people with HIV and AIDS, of people who died, of their families and friends and of those that in the face of fear and ignorance sought to bring support, care and compassion whilst providing education and thus empowerment to those affected and those who were at risk.

At a time when the government was silent and often failing, and the Catholic hierarchy judgemental, Catholic religious responded to the call of the Gospel rolling up their sleeves, challenging their own prejudices and responding with love.

Both the book and the PodCast are full of poignant stories - but with the sadness there is hope and importantly a model of Christianity that models how it can be done in line with the Gospels.

This is a must read.
John Rowan
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read and very powerful story of good people in the Catholic Church
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 1, 2022
A very powerful story of nuns and priests working with compassion for people who had aids during a time of discrimination and ignorance about AIDS .