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John Mordechai Gottman
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The Man's Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want Hardcover – February 2, 2016

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,793 ratings
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A must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love, from the New York Times bestselling authors of Fight Right and The Seven Principles

“If you want to learn how to be the best man and partner you can be, look no further.”—Lewis Howes, author of The School of Greatness

“No pressure gentlemen, but this book might just support you in leading us all toward salvation and harmony.”—Alanis Morissette

For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man?

Results from world-renowned relationship experts the Gottmans’ famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. The Man’s Guide to Women provides answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed to how to know when the relationship is on the right track.
 
Based on forty years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women is the definitive guide for men that unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime.
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  1. Print length
    224 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Rodale Books
  4. Publication date
    February 2, 2016
  5. Dimensions
    5.6 x 0.8 x 8.7 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1623361842
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1623361846
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Julie Gottman, PhD, is the cofounder of The Gottman Institute and cofounder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist, she is the author of the national bestseller Eight Dates and the New York Times bestseller The Love Prescription. She is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert adviser on marriage, domestic violence, post-traumatic stress disorders, gay and lesbian adoption, and parenting issues.

John Gottman, PhD, is world-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction. Dr. Gottman has conducted over fifty years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the cofounder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software, Inc., as well as the author of over 200 published academic articles and author or coauthor of more than forty books, including the New York Times bestsellers The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and The Love Prescription and the national bestseller Eight Dates.

Doug and Rachel Abrams, MD, are coauthors of The Multi-Orgasmic Man and The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. They live in Santa Cruz, CA.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Rodale Books; Illustrated edition (February 2, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1623361842
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1623361846
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.6 x 0.8 x 8.7 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,793 ratings

About the authors

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  1. John Mordechai Gottman

    John Mordechai Gottman

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    John Gottman, Ph.D., is world-renowned for his work on relationship stability and divorce prediction, involving the study of emotions, physiology, and communication. He was recently voted one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the PsychoTherapy Networker publication. His 35 years of breakthrough research on marriage, relationships and parenting has earned him numerous major awards.

    He is the author of 190 published academic articles and author or co-author of 40 books. Dr. Gottman is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute where he currently teaches weekend workshops for couples and training workshops for clinicians. He is the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute, where programs have been developed for parents transitioning to parenthood and are beginning a new research project on treatment for Domestic Violence. Dr. Gottman is also in private practice in Seattle and sees couples for weekly and intensive marathon therapy sessions.

    See more on the author's page
  2. Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD

    Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Julie Gottman, PhD, is the cofounder of Gottman, Inc. and cofounder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist, she is the author of the national bestseller Eight Dates and the New York Times bestseller The Love Prescription. She is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert adviser on marriage, domestic violence, post-traumatic stress disorders, gay and lesbian adoption, and parenting issues.

    See more on the author's page
  3. John Gottman

    John Gottman

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, and Psychology Today. Together with his wife Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, he is founder of The Gottman Institute and creator of Gottman Method Couples Therapy, a research-based approach to strengthening relationships.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
1,793 global ratings
Excellent book, sticks to important topics with zero toxic BS
5 Stars
Excellent book, sticks to important topics with zero toxic BS
Written by the Gottmans and others, I knew this would have great information for men without the kind of toxic BS that way too many books for men and self-proclaimed masculinity/"alpha male" experts put out.The Gottmans know relationships inside and out from decades of research. No one understands relationships and communication better.Short enough to be a quick read, but covers all the essential basics men (that are interested in women) should know for dating, attraction, communication, relationships, and sex.It's not super in-depth, but there are books out there, including from the Gottmans, that cover individual areas more in-depth.This book is good for men who can get dates and are okay in the dating sphere, but maybe have trouble or want more insight into relationship success with women for longer term relationships.For long-term relationship success and people in relationships already, including communication, trust, repairing infidelity and more, I highly recommend their book "What Makes Love Last?"For non-toxic help with dating specifically, I'd recommend:Dating Sucks But You Don't (Connell Barrett)Dating For Men (Elsa Moreck)
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Top reviews from the United States

Philip Ho
5.0 out of 5 stars For The Man Who Wants A Lasting and Rewarding Romantic Relationship
Reviewed in the United States on February 15, 2024
Verified Purchase
This book offers valuable insights based on clinical research conducted on 3,000 couples over a 40-year period. The author John Gottman writes in a clear, flowing and easy-to-understand, sometimes humorous, style that makes this book an easy and enjoyable read. The chapters are also logically organized and provide a progressive learning experience.

The key takeaways on what a woman wants from a man in a serious relationship:
1. Trustworthiness
2. Safety.
The author provides tools on how to build trust and the sense of safety.

The author then takes the reader through the different stages of a serious romantic relationship:
1. Dating
2. Romancing the woman and determining if she is the right one
3. Making love to her
4. Living with her day-to-day
5. How to love her for a lifetime
Plenty of helpful tips are offered for each stage. Wait till you READ the chapter on 'Making Love to Her' !!!

The only caveat is that the couples in the research are from the Washington area. So, some of the conclusions and priorities may change depending on regional demographics. Nevertheless, I highly recommend this book to any man who wants to keep the love of his life for a lifetime.
12 people found this helpful
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Taylor Ellwood
5.0 out of 5 stars How to unlock the mysteries of relationship
Reviewed in the United States on March 20, 2024
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This is a must read book if you’re a man who wants to be a hero instead of a zero in your relationships with women. This book provided some valuable insights about the differences between men and women and shares how men can show up better with their women and get better results in the relationship. Whether you’re struggling in your relationship or having a good relationship in the moment, this book will provide insights that help you to have a great relationship.
One person found this helpful
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Amanda Leigh
4.0 out of 5 stars Good stuff!
Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2024
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Be nice if my bf would read it! Lol
2 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars A woman’s review
Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2024
Verified Purchase
Overall I think this book is really good for men to read. I have read several before I handed this one to my spouse to read to help him understand where I am coming from. I didn’t want to waste his time if the book was not capturing how I felt personally. And reading it aa a woman I felt like yes yes this is exactly right. After he began reading a few chapters it was like a light bulb clicked and all the sudden I’m starting to see the man I fell in love with come back. And we are trying to move forward after years of distance.
10 people found this helpful
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Marc-Anthony Cousins
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening.
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2024
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Educational. Positively enlightening. Helps one to understand women, and in some cases: yourself.
One person found this helpful
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Sgtkeebler
5.0 out of 5 stars This is actually a really good book
Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2023
Verified Purchase
This is actually a really good book with some good advice. I have read other relationship or “pickup” books and the advice those books offer are not good vs The men’s guide to women. I am trying to find a girlfriend and thought this could help after years of not dating and I can see where I have made mistakes when talking to women on tinder or Facebook, and now I can see why they will no longer respond. I have been taking notes of what is inside this book for me to go back and look on and I plan on using what’s in this guide in the future. Some of the advice is obvious, but it is advice that you don’t fully understand why until someone explains it to you. The authors even come out and tell you that “pickup” books are mostly scams which is something I can believe after reading this.
14 people found this helpful
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Tristan S.
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Advice.
Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2021
Verified Purchase
I came across this book through a post on Instagram and decided to look it up on Goodreads. There were plenty of very excited and overwhelmingly positive reviews, and since I’m on a self improvement kick I thought I’d give it a shot. I’m already married so many chapters aren’t directly aimed at people like me, more for single guys, but there are still interesting pieces in those chapter about understanding the experience from a woman’s perspective. Of course, the author is a male so I can’t say if he’s 100% depicting the female experience or anything, but the book was written in collaboration with two female clinicians.

As I said there is plenty of good advice throughout all of the chapters, and it definitely left me with some things to consider like in the beginning about how women perceive fear and experience situations differently than men like walking through a dark parking lot at night which is something I never really considered. The author talks about being at a group session and everyone was asked when the last time they felt scared was, and the male response vs the female response was very different. Starting with this the book focuses a lot on trying to be empathetic, understanding, and talks about listening and respecting your woman. I’m only giving it three stars because a big section of the book wasn’t really applicable to me because Im married, but at the very least there were some useful things for us married people in those chapters.

Is this a must read? Not really. However, if you’re looking for ways to improve your relationships and just generally feel a little more confident about dating I would recommend this book.
10 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Marc S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Wish I had known all this before my wife left me
Reviewed in Canada on March 24, 2024
Verified Purchase
Profoundly insightful book that every Hero must read. One thing I wish the authors would have covered is the theory of attachment. I implemented many of the ideas suggested in this book but I later learned about attachment theory and realized that there is yet more to learn. Amazing read nonetheless. The world would be a better place if men implemented the ideas contained in this book.
One person found this helpful
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Freedom
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting book which I will read several times but ...
Reviewed in Italy on February 6, 2024
Verified Purchase
I made a perfectly civil review with some praise and some constructive criticism

And they told me to change it ...

The book has helped me and I thank you for having written it, the writing style has a good vibration

but there are 2 advises, especially one advise that is told in a not sensitive way to men

Advises in a book should be suggested and not pushed

Looking for reasonable balance and compromise is always the correct behaviour

So this resistance to my constructive criticism comes from somebody's fear, not mine, and fear is a bad counselour,

If you want to have ongoing success in relationships you always need to go toward

being just and sensible to women and to men, both human beings with feelings and desires
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Very glad I've read it
Reviewed in Germany on June 26, 2023
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The book opened my eyes on how different women and men are. A must-read to every "nerdy" or engineer or programmer man.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in India on April 4, 2023
Verified Purchase
They book is great with powerful tips and crazy advice on how to tune in with woman.
One person found this helpful
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CESAR GONZALEZ JAUREGUI
5.0 out of 5 stars The Why's & How's
Reviewed in Mexico on March 9, 2020
Verified Purchase
Really helpful and down to the point. Find it handy and easy to read. It got me to buy every argument.
One person found this helpful
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