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Smile: The Story of a Face
A People Best Book of the Year.
Time and The Washington Post's Most Anticipated List.
Longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence.
From the MacArthur genius, two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist, and playwright, this "captivating, insightful memoir" (Kirkus Reviews, starred review) is "a beautiful meditation on identity and how we see ourselves" (Real Simple).
With a play opening on Broadway, and every reason to smile, Sarah Ruhl has just survived a high-risk pregnancy when she discovers the left side of her face is completely paralyzed. She is assured that 90 percent of Bell's palsy patients experience a full recovery—like Ruhl's own mother. But Sarah is in the unlucky ten percent. And for a woman, wife, mother, and artist working in theater, the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior brings significant and specific challenges. So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face—one that, while recognizably her own—is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions.
In a series of piercing, profound, and lucid meditations, Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient, wife, mother, and artist. She explores the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape, the pain of postpartum depression, the story of a marriage, being a playwright and working mom to three small children, and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of illness.
An intimate and "stunning" (Publishers Weekly, starred review) examination of loss and reconciliation, "Ruhl reminds us that a smile is not just a smile but a vital form of communication, of bonding, of what makes us human" (The Washington Post). Brimming with insight, humility, and levity, Smile is a triumph by one of America's leading playwrights.
Time and The Washington Post's Most Anticipated List.
Longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence.
From the MacArthur genius, two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist, and playwright, this "captivating, insightful memoir" (Kirkus Reviews, starred review) is "a beautiful meditation on identity and how we see ourselves" (Real Simple).
With a play opening on Broadway, and every reason to smile, Sarah Ruhl has just survived a high-risk pregnancy when she discovers the left side of her face is completely paralyzed. She is assured that 90 percent of Bell's palsy patients experience a full recovery—like Ruhl's own mother. But Sarah is in the unlucky ten percent. And for a woman, wife, mother, and artist working in theater, the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior brings significant and specific challenges. So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face—one that, while recognizably her own—is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions.
In a series of piercing, profound, and lucid meditations, Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient, wife, mother, and artist. She explores the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape, the pain of postpartum depression, the story of a marriage, being a playwright and working mom to three small children, and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of illness.
An intimate and "stunning" (Publishers Weekly, starred review) examination of loss and reconciliation, "Ruhl reminds us that a smile is not just a smile but a vital form of communication, of bonding, of what makes us human" (The Washington Post). Brimming with insight, humility, and levity, Smile is a triumph by one of America's leading playwrights.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published October 5, 2021
About the author
Sarah Ruhl
34 books516 followersSarah Ruhl (born 1974) is an American playwright. She is the recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship and the PEN/Laura Pels International Foundation for Theater Award for a distinguished American playwright in mid-career.
Originally, she intended to be a poet. However, after she studied under Paula Vogel at Brown University (A.B., 1997; M.F.A., 2001), she was persuaded to switch to playwriting. Her first play was The Dog Play, written in 1995 for one of Vogel's classes. Her roots in poetry can be seen in the way she uses language in her plays. She also did graduate work at Pembroke College, Oxford.
In September 2006, she received a MacArthur Fellowship. The announcement of that award stated: "Sarah Ruhl, 32, playwright, New York City. Playwright creating vivid and adventurous theatrical works that poignantly juxtapose the mundane aspects of daily life with mythic themes of love and war."
Originally, she intended to be a poet. However, after she studied under Paula Vogel at Brown University (A.B., 1997; M.F.A., 2001), she was persuaded to switch to playwriting. Her first play was The Dog Play, written in 1995 for one of Vogel's classes. Her roots in poetry can be seen in the way she uses language in her plays. She also did graduate work at Pembroke College, Oxford.
In September 2006, she received a MacArthur Fellowship. The announcement of that award stated: "Sarah Ruhl, 32, playwright, New York City. Playwright creating vivid and adventurous theatrical works that poignantly juxtapose the mundane aspects of daily life with mythic themes of love and war."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 500 reviews
September 8, 2022
Review Apart from flashes of interest, this book was uniformly grey to me. There's nothing wrong with grey, it's the sort of colour that isn't really a colour and no one pays any attention to it, it's an inbetween sort of hue. As was this book. I skimmed the last ten chapters because I thought it might suddenly pick up but no, it just carried on being grey, until it ended. I should have paid more attention to my friend Canadian Reader's review. It would have been adequate as a piece of long-form journalism.
__________
Reading notes There was an absolutely shocking event where the 11 year author told the nuns she wasn't ready for confirmation and her friends taunted her saying that she must think she was better than them and that she must be a Jew now, and played a horrible trick on her. A trick that all the kids parents must have been well aware of given the need for money and preparation:
She talks about just how hard her life is with her three children, how difficult it is with twins with her work as a professional playwright. The sacrifices... I see that. So? All working mothers find it tough, much tougher than she does since most of us don't have the incomes of a Broadway dramatist and a doctor. She makes a big deal over not being able to do this that and the other when she could do all of these things with an assistant, but doesn't, at least in the book, entertain that proposition. Rich people's problems!
There is nothing in the book that grabs me. The writing is good without being sparkling as in the last book I read which I didn't get into for a long way What's A Lemon Squeezer Doing In My Vagina?: A Memoir of Infertility. IThe author seems to be a pretty nice woman. think that maybe this is a good book and I'm just the wrong audience for it as there is nothing I can put my finger on why I really want to dnf it.
But I'm at chapter 21, so.... so I dnf'd it anyway.
__________
Reading notes There was an absolutely shocking event where the 11 year author told the nuns she wasn't ready for confirmation and her friends taunted her saying that she must think she was better than them and that she must be a Jew now, and played a horrible trick on her. A trick that all the kids parents must have been well aware of given the need for money and preparation:
The next day on the front porch, on my gray stucco house with a red door, was a package wrapped in blue tissue paper. A present! I unwrapped it: a plate full of cookies shaped like Stars of David. There was also a Hanukkah coloring book. It was not meant to be a nice present after all. My eyes burned with humiliation. I did not want to tell my mother.That kept me reading the book when I really wasn't enjoying it much. I'm on chapter 21 now and it's a bit of a slog. Nothing happens, the author googles remedies and muses on the droop of an eye and mouth, which I appreciate is incredibly difficult to live with in a world where all, women especially are judged instantly by their looks even by people who say they never do that. We all do it.
I thought for a while about the time it would have taken my Sunday school compatriots to buy Star of David cookie cutters and bake those cookies. Baking requires effort; it was not an impulsive act of hatred but a planned one. What causes someone to bake hatred into cookies, walk those cookies to someone else’s front porch, and cross the threshold, with hate?
She talks about just how hard her life is with her three children, how difficult it is with twins with her work as a professional playwright. The sacrifices... I see that. So? All working mothers find it tough, much tougher than she does since most of us don't have the incomes of a Broadway dramatist and a doctor. She makes a big deal over not being able to do this that and the other when she could do all of these things with an assistant, but doesn't, at least in the book, entertain that proposition. Rich people's problems!
There is nothing in the book that grabs me. The writing is good without being sparkling as in the last book I read which I didn't get into for a long way What's A Lemon Squeezer Doing In My Vagina?: A Memoir of Infertility. IThe author seems to be a pretty nice woman. think that maybe this is a good book and I'm just the wrong audience for it as there is nothing I can put my finger on why I really want to dnf it.
But I'm at chapter 21, so.... so I dnf'd it anyway.
September 1, 2021
How important is our face? How does it affect our body image, our mental state? These questions will prove of paramount importance after this author gives birth to twins and is strickened with Bells Palsy. One side of her face paralyzed, unable to close one, drooping eye and able to smile on only one side, she will struggle with a condition that usually clears up within a few months. Hers would last over ten years.
Her continuing quest for answers, treatments, cures, she would try many. Bad doctors, good doctors, alternative treatments, friends advice, she would follow many. Her life as a mother, an award winning playwright, a wife, all aspects of her life would become background to the way she now saw herself. This is her story, her journey, and she conveys it with honesty. All the frustrations, despair, self awareness is related but also the hope she continually holds.
A terrific memoir of an illness of which I knew little.
ARC from Edelweiss.
Her continuing quest for answers, treatments, cures, she would try many. Bad doctors, good doctors, alternative treatments, friends advice, she would follow many. Her life as a mother, an award winning playwright, a wife, all aspects of her life would become background to the way she now saw herself. This is her story, her journey, and she conveys it with honesty. All the frustrations, despair, self awareness is related but also the hope she continually holds.
A terrific memoir of an illness of which I knew little.
ARC from Edelweiss.
December 2, 2021
Audiobook….read by Sarah Ruhl
….6 hours and 28 minutes
Absolutely terrific!!!!
Loved listening to every word….FASCINATING STORY….
…..however, my mind did somersaults a few times….(my skin has been itching recently and reading about Sarah’s itching skin made me worry about my own skin itching- and I need one more ‘bodily’ worry like a hole in the head)
But seriously— I’ll remember this memoir—
Add me to the list……
…… I’m a new fan of SARAH RUHL
Bless this talented wonderful woman…..[I’d love to see her plays, too]
….6 hours and 28 minutes
Absolutely terrific!!!!
Loved listening to every word….FASCINATING STORY….
…..however, my mind did somersaults a few times….(my skin has been itching recently and reading about Sarah’s itching skin made me worry about my own skin itching- and I need one more ‘bodily’ worry like a hole in the head)
But seriously— I’ll remember this memoir—
Add me to the list……
…… I’m a new fan of SARAH RUHL
Bless this talented wonderful woman…..[I’d love to see her plays, too]
November 28, 2021
Nat King Cole, “Smile”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyHoo...
So this is my third book in a month catching up on the Ruhl family through books by playwright Sarah, whom I have met a few times; she’s the daughter of my long-time friend Kathy, from Evanston. I read Peter Pan at Seventy, which in part is about honoring her mother, who once played Peter Pan in a Davenport, Iowa production, 44 Poems for You (some of them addressed to or about Kathy) and now this memoir, which is centrally about Sarah’s more than a decade-long struggle with Bell’s Palsy, which her mother also had, a chronic medical condition which Sarah got in the process of giving birth to her twins.
Smile is funny, sweet, endearing, deeply researched at every turn, about having twins and parenting three babies under the age of five, about postpartum depression, about celiac’s disease, about family, about her husband, children, the death of her father at the young age of 52, about how to sustain the writing life in all of this. I think that list makes the book seem unremarkable, but what makes the book shine is the quality of the writing, the humor (some people, including doctors, say--and do--the most ridiculous things!), and the warmth amid keen insights about living life with any kind of challenge.
Books about coping with disability or disease or some kind of difference are now commonplace, but this book is unique in Ruhl’s coping with the disconnect between inner feelings and the outer expression of those emotions. What is a smile? And why does it seem so important for women to be smiling all the time? Why do we feel shame when we see ourselves as something less than physically attractive? I was reminded while reading it of Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealey.
But as I know or have met some of the family members in her work, I was of course pleased to (as we do at the holidays!) “Catch up” with the news about her and them. A kind of perfect book for Thanksgiving, as probably the main point of the book is how grateful she is to have supportive family and friends. Beautifully written, top notch.
I couldn’t resist: Hall & Oates, “Sara Smile”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYEpF...
And you know you are not “supposed to” want to look at her face with Bell’s Palsy, but sure, you are also human, you want to see Sarah’s face, of course, and she knows this, so this review below shows some of her smiles, but as with any memoir about a medical condition, Ruhl also shares with us the sometimes painful, sometimes amusing process of her attempts to smile again (physical therapy has done the most good for her of all solutions):
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entert...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyHoo...
So this is my third book in a month catching up on the Ruhl family through books by playwright Sarah, whom I have met a few times; she’s the daughter of my long-time friend Kathy, from Evanston. I read Peter Pan at Seventy, which in part is about honoring her mother, who once played Peter Pan in a Davenport, Iowa production, 44 Poems for You (some of them addressed to or about Kathy) and now this memoir, which is centrally about Sarah’s more than a decade-long struggle with Bell’s Palsy, which her mother also had, a chronic medical condition which Sarah got in the process of giving birth to her twins.
Smile is funny, sweet, endearing, deeply researched at every turn, about having twins and parenting three babies under the age of five, about postpartum depression, about celiac’s disease, about family, about her husband, children, the death of her father at the young age of 52, about how to sustain the writing life in all of this. I think that list makes the book seem unremarkable, but what makes the book shine is the quality of the writing, the humor (some people, including doctors, say--and do--the most ridiculous things!), and the warmth amid keen insights about living life with any kind of challenge.
Books about coping with disability or disease or some kind of difference are now commonplace, but this book is unique in Ruhl’s coping with the disconnect between inner feelings and the outer expression of those emotions. What is a smile? And why does it seem so important for women to be smiling all the time? Why do we feel shame when we see ourselves as something less than physically attractive? I was reminded while reading it of Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealey.
But as I know or have met some of the family members in her work, I was of course pleased to (as we do at the holidays!) “Catch up” with the news about her and them. A kind of perfect book for Thanksgiving, as probably the main point of the book is how grateful she is to have supportive family and friends. Beautifully written, top notch.
I couldn’t resist: Hall & Oates, “Sara Smile”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYEpF...
And you know you are not “supposed to” want to look at her face with Bell’s Palsy, but sure, you are also human, you want to see Sarah’s face, of course, and she knows this, so this review below shows some of her smiles, but as with any memoir about a medical condition, Ruhl also shares with us the sometimes painful, sometimes amusing process of her attempts to smile again (physical therapy has done the most good for her of all solutions):
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entert...
July 14, 2022
This memoir is from playwright Sarah Ruhl, whom we've seen and loved two of her plays. During Clean House and In the Next Room, we cackled with laughter and humor throughout. But this work is quite the opposite. Its rather vulnerable and painful and fully honest. This part of her experience details her journey with chronic Bells Palsy, where half of her face became frozen for about a ten year period, following the birth of her twins. In this book, she explores women, motherhood, playwriting and the theater, the loss of her father, depression, science and neuroscience of nerves, but most importantly, what it means to not be able to use your face, to smile to others, the most natural impulse in the world - and how might that be connected to joy? What does it mean to not have access to smiling, for oneself, and what it communicates to the world? What does it mean to have such a precarious difficult relationship with one's body/face, and asymmetry? This book isn't just the journey of her difficult and painful experience of extended seemingly incurable Bell's Palsy. It's her journey of what does a smile and self love mean? She is a beautiful writer, but she is a thoughtful and loving connective person. I had immense compassion for her and for her pain. Sarah, I wish you love and joy and connection and healing, and smiles inside and out that radiate through your heart. It's a well done memoir.
I had the thought that I didn't know what to do with my owned copy of the book. Who to give or send it to, or which stranger would need it. I think books get where they need to be. Short of some carousel emerging, I believe I am going to bring it to a Little Free Library at Home and trust that it lands in just the right hands. If someone knows they need a copy, message me and I will send it to you as soon as I get back to the states. I'm serious. If this is for you or someone you love, I will make sure you get it. That is a promise.
I had the thought that I didn't know what to do with my owned copy of the book. Who to give or send it to, or which stranger would need it. I think books get where they need to be. Short of some carousel emerging, I believe I am going to bring it to a Little Free Library at Home and trust that it lands in just the right hands. If someone knows they need a copy, message me and I will send it to you as soon as I get back to the states. I'm serious. If this is for you or someone you love, I will make sure you get it. That is a promise.
March 10, 2022
“Ten years ago, my smile walked off my face, and wandered out in the world. This is the story of my asking it to come back.”
(4.5) Sarah Ruhl is a lauded New York City playwright (Eurydice et al.). These warm and beautifully observed autobiographical essays stem from the birth of her twins and the slow-burning medical crises that followed. Shortly after the delivery, she developed Bell’s palsy, a partial paralysis of the face that usually resolves itself within six months but in rare cases doesn’t go away, and later discovered that she had celiac disease and Hashimoto’s disease, two autoimmune disorders. Having a lopsided face, grimacing and squinting when she tried to show expression on her paralyzed side – she knew this was a minor problem in the grand scheme of things, yet it provoked thorny questions about to what extent the body equates to our identity:
Can one experience joy when one cannot express joy on one’s face? Does the smile itself create the happiness? Or does happiness create the smile?
Women are accustomed to men cajoling them into a smile, but now she couldn’t comply even had she wanted to. Ruhl looks into the psychology and neurology of facial expressions, such as the Duchenne smile, but keeps coming back to her own experience: marriage to Tony, a child psychiatrist; mothering Anna and twins William and Hope; teaching and writing and putting on plays; and seeking alternative as well as traditional treatments (acupuncture and Buddhist meditation versus physical therapy; she rejected Botox and experimental surgery) for the Bell’s palsy. By the end of the book she’s achieved about a 70% recovery, but it did take a decade. “A woman slowly gets better. What kind of story is that?” she wryly asks. The answer is: a realistic one. We’re all too cynical these days to believe in miracle cures. But a story of graceful persistence, of setbacks alternating with advances? That’s relatable.
The playwright’s skills are abundantly evident here: strong dialogue and scenes; a clear sense of time, such that flashbacks to earlier life, including childhood, are interlaced naturally; a mixture of exposition and forceful one-liners. She is also brave to include lots of black-and-white family photographs that illustrate the before and after. While reading I often thought of Lucy Grealy’s Autobiography of a Face and Terri Tate’s A Crooked Smile, which are both about life with facial deformity after cancer surgery. I’d also recommend this to readers of Flesh & Blood by N. West Moss and Anne Lamott’s essays on facing everyday life with wit and spiritual wisdom.
More lines I loved:
imperfection is a portal. Whereas perfection and symmetry create distance. Our culture values perfect pictures of ourselves, mirage, over and above authentic connection. But we meet one another through the imperfect particular of our bodies.
Lucky the laugh lines and the smile lines especially: they signify mobility, duration, and joy.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
October 22, 2021
Interesting in parts but the religious stuff is just not my cup of tea.
September 22, 2021
Sarah Ruhl writes about everything with the clarity of a water droplet and the power of a waterfall. I’m not sure I’ve ever read or heard any of her work, in any genre or form, without crying at least a little. Smile: The Story of a Face is no different, though perhaps even more personal and vulnerable, so that reading it feels like being trusted with something fragile and intimate. A reflection on symmetry and divisions, on motherhood and marriage and meditation, on what it is to see and to be seen. A deeply moving, absorbing book; I'd expect nothing less from Sarah Ruhl, and I'm grateful to have read it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review!
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review!
October 5, 2021
This was an interesting memoir about a condition that I had very little knowledge of. Having a friend that recently was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy definitely added to my level of interest in this book.
I found the book easy to read and it kept my attention pretty well through the first 60-70% of the book. The last third of the book for some reason became less interesting to me, almost as if the author were trying to fill pages with random added info.
While the story opened my eyes to how differently people are perceived just because of an asymmetrical face, and while I felt a lot of empathy for the author and her experience, I think I expected a deeper, more introspective look at the experience. And while there were parts of the book that focused on that, a lot of it was more focused on random stories from the author's life as well as her plan of treatment and the experiences with different doctors.
I did especially feel empathy for her as a mother, especially with the concern about her children being affected for life by her inability to smile at them as babies. I feel for the anxiety and anguish that she suffered through, and it's crazy how life can change overnight. I also really admired her persistence in fighting the Bell's Palsy, trying various different treatments.
I do feel that the author is extremely fortunate to have the financial means to be able to experiment with all different types of treatment, but also realize that's not the situation for everyone. And I certainly don't fault the author for that. I'm happy that she was in a position to try different forms of treatment and especially that she took the time to write a book and share those experiences with others. I'm sure that others suffering from Bell's Palsy will find hope within the pages of this book, and I think it's a good read for everyone to gain a better understanding of the struggles that people go through. It's so easy to take things like smiling, eating, drinking, blowing up balloons (this was referenced in the book) for granted. This book was a great reminder to appreciate all of those little things that it's so easy to overlook.
I found the book easy to read and it kept my attention pretty well through the first 60-70% of the book. The last third of the book for some reason became less interesting to me, almost as if the author were trying to fill pages with random added info.
While the story opened my eyes to how differently people are perceived just because of an asymmetrical face, and while I felt a lot of empathy for the author and her experience, I think I expected a deeper, more introspective look at the experience. And while there were parts of the book that focused on that, a lot of it was more focused on random stories from the author's life as well as her plan of treatment and the experiences with different doctors.
I did especially feel empathy for her as a mother, especially with the concern about her children being affected for life by her inability to smile at them as babies. I feel for the anxiety and anguish that she suffered through, and it's crazy how life can change overnight. I also really admired her persistence in fighting the Bell's Palsy, trying various different treatments.
I do feel that the author is extremely fortunate to have the financial means to be able to experiment with all different types of treatment, but also realize that's not the situation for everyone. And I certainly don't fault the author for that. I'm happy that she was in a position to try different forms of treatment and especially that she took the time to write a book and share those experiences with others. I'm sure that others suffering from Bell's Palsy will find hope within the pages of this book, and I think it's a good read for everyone to gain a better understanding of the struggles that people go through. It's so easy to take things like smiling, eating, drinking, blowing up balloons (this was referenced in the book) for granted. This book was a great reminder to appreciate all of those little things that it's so easy to overlook.
February 26, 2024
Review 3/10/22
Smile - Sarah Ruhl
Sarah Ruhl’s Smile is a memoir. She’s a playwright, actress, essayist and memoirist. This is her story. I really liked her writing; it’s personal, informative and honest. She was having her second child when she found out they were twins; a boy and a girl. And because of complications she was on bed rest and they were born early and had some serious healthy problems the first few weeks of their lives; as did she. She got Bell’s palsy in her face and had other health issues . She had the type of Bells Palsey where the left side of her face was frozen and she couldn’t smile. We experience each other and judge emotions and feeling through one’s face. With a frozen smile it makes “one seem cold, joyless and non-caring.” She found it hard to communicate to others as a mother and working with actors on emotions as they work a scene. She found that without a smile people saw her as cold and distant. This is a book about dealing with difficult health issues, living with her face when the frozen doesn’t thaw, being a mom of young kids, a wife, a daughter and having an active career. And I’m so glad I read it.
I chose this to read for a few reasons. I came down with Bell’s palsy and neuropathy in my hands after my second covid shot. I got the kind of Bell’s palsy that wasn’t so severe and lasted a couple of months and then went away. But its shown up 2 other times since for short periods. I haven’t met anyone who has also had bells palsey. I was curious what she had to say. So I was interested in how not being able to smile was for her. How she learned to adapt and change. There’s not a lot written about facing the world with a face disabily or injury. Fabulous organizations like SEVA have helped kids with clef pallets or facial birth defects face the world with a lot more ease and self care. “Our faces are what the world sees.”This was her main concern for a while.
Ann Patchett wrote a book called Truth and Beauty about her friend Lucy who had jaw cancer. What Lucy went thru was heart breaking to me. Sarah Ruhl’s Smile isn’t heartbreaking in that way at all. It was difficult for her; shocking at first. But she was often focused on joy and had a lot of support and love in her life. And she loved her kids, husband, mom and her work.
What was wonderful about this book is that she talks about different understandings that arose for her and then she goes off and writes a play or an essay about it. She was very open about her experiences and feelings during this time of her life. We all tend to focus on healing and getting well - but is that really what will bring us wellbeing in life? How do we reconcile disabilities, especially facial disabilities? Or respond to people who have them.? Or how do we respond to people who have face tics or unusual ways of acting that seem odd?
People like Michael J Fox have helped so many for being open and honest and showing up. I admire him and Sarah both for opening up about their illnesses and so others with them won’t feel so alone and will have more information.
A friend of hers suggested a gratitude exercise -listing everything because if you didn’t it would go away. That was a good way to expand your appreciation and happiness for your body as it is and happiness for others having what they do too. Versus the judgment and self focus and sometimes obsession that closes us down. Her list was long. Somewhere along the way she listed she was glad her dog still had its tail after it got closed in an elevator door. I started to cry. My right eye rarely tears and it came alive. Sometimes our care for another opens doors within that been locked up. The healing process needs tenderness too.
In all honesty it was a hard book to read at times. Hard to Face your face and the ways Bell’s palsy or a facial injury has impacted your life. The pain that comes when people turn away from you because we see people as their face. And with bells palsey and facial injuries there is lots of that. Often people don’t know they do so. There is a shaming there.
I’m quite grateful to Sarah Ruhl for all she offered.
Smile - Sarah Ruhl
Sarah Ruhl’s Smile is a memoir. She’s a playwright, actress, essayist and memoirist. This is her story. I really liked her writing; it’s personal, informative and honest. She was having her second child when she found out they were twins; a boy and a girl. And because of complications she was on bed rest and they were born early and had some serious healthy problems the first few weeks of their lives; as did she. She got Bell’s palsy in her face and had other health issues . She had the type of Bells Palsey where the left side of her face was frozen and she couldn’t smile. We experience each other and judge emotions and feeling through one’s face. With a frozen smile it makes “one seem cold, joyless and non-caring.” She found it hard to communicate to others as a mother and working with actors on emotions as they work a scene. She found that without a smile people saw her as cold and distant. This is a book about dealing with difficult health issues, living with her face when the frozen doesn’t thaw, being a mom of young kids, a wife, a daughter and having an active career. And I’m so glad I read it.
I chose this to read for a few reasons. I came down with Bell’s palsy and neuropathy in my hands after my second covid shot. I got the kind of Bell’s palsy that wasn’t so severe and lasted a couple of months and then went away. But its shown up 2 other times since for short periods. I haven’t met anyone who has also had bells palsey. I was curious what she had to say. So I was interested in how not being able to smile was for her. How she learned to adapt and change. There’s not a lot written about facing the world with a face disabily or injury. Fabulous organizations like SEVA have helped kids with clef pallets or facial birth defects face the world with a lot more ease and self care. “Our faces are what the world sees.”This was her main concern for a while.
Ann Patchett wrote a book called Truth and Beauty about her friend Lucy who had jaw cancer. What Lucy went thru was heart breaking to me. Sarah Ruhl’s Smile isn’t heartbreaking in that way at all. It was difficult for her; shocking at first. But she was often focused on joy and had a lot of support and love in her life. And she loved her kids, husband, mom and her work.
What was wonderful about this book is that she talks about different understandings that arose for her and then she goes off and writes a play or an essay about it. She was very open about her experiences and feelings during this time of her life. We all tend to focus on healing and getting well - but is that really what will bring us wellbeing in life? How do we reconcile disabilities, especially facial disabilities? Or respond to people who have them.? Or how do we respond to people who have face tics or unusual ways of acting that seem odd?
People like Michael J Fox have helped so many for being open and honest and showing up. I admire him and Sarah both for opening up about their illnesses and so others with them won’t feel so alone and will have more information.
A friend of hers suggested a gratitude exercise -listing everything because if you didn’t it would go away. That was a good way to expand your appreciation and happiness for your body as it is and happiness for others having what they do too. Versus the judgment and self focus and sometimes obsession that closes us down. Her list was long. Somewhere along the way she listed she was glad her dog still had its tail after it got closed in an elevator door. I started to cry. My right eye rarely tears and it came alive. Sometimes our care for another opens doors within that been locked up. The healing process needs tenderness too.
In all honesty it was a hard book to read at times. Hard to Face your face and the ways Bell’s palsy or a facial injury has impacted your life. The pain that comes when people turn away from you because we see people as their face. And with bells palsey and facial injuries there is lots of that. Often people don’t know they do so. There is a shaming there.
I’m quite grateful to Sarah Ruhl for all she offered.
January 30, 2022
I read a third. It struck me that this would have made a better piece of long-form journalism. I lost interest quickly. Maybe the memoir would've got better, but there was nothing particularly startling or illuminating as far as I read.
October 5, 2021
Thanks to Simon and Schuster and Netgalley for an early copy of this work. It’s easily one of my favorite books of the year!
Focused primarily on the decade from the birth of her children to the present, Smile is the story of Ruhl’s experience with Bell’s Palsy, a paralysis of one side of her face which struck after the birth of her twins. In many cases, Bell’s Palsy resolves itself in a matter of months, but in Ruhls’ case, it did not. This is her memoir of being a person, a woman, a theater artist, who was unable to make her exterior match her interior state, and more broadly, a funny, vulnerable meditation on what it means to feel embodied joy, and what happens to the heart when the body will not cooperate. In Ruhl’s profound-but-relatable, quietly reflective style, she uses the experience to reflect on her life, on illness and wellness, on connection and alienation.
I recall Ruhl's observation in her (also brilliant) essay collection 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time to Write (#76!) about the lack of plays that take seriously the experience of motherhood from the mother’s point of view, and this book seems to be a near-perfect addition to the neglected canon of stories that center and illuminate that experience.
Speaking personally, it was eye opening, as a man, to learn about Ruhl’s experience as a new mother working in theater. I knew intellectually that workplaces suck at accommodating parents and especially new mothers, but WOW, the things that happened to actual legend/genius Sarah Ruhl were so infuriating; her recounting of them gave me a slightly realer understanding of the world.
If you’re already a fan of Sarah Ruhl, like me, there’s also a fun “behind the music” quality to the book; you get to better understand the personal context of some of her recent books and plays. But if you’ve never encountered her work, this is the perfect place to start: here’s a standout memoir for anyone who craves a wise, reflective, funny vision of the world through the eyes of someone who has had a relatively unusual vantage point on it for the past decade, and who has the tremendous writerly skill--and generosity--to share how it changed her.
Focused primarily on the decade from the birth of her children to the present, Smile is the story of Ruhl’s experience with Bell’s Palsy, a paralysis of one side of her face which struck after the birth of her twins. In many cases, Bell’s Palsy resolves itself in a matter of months, but in Ruhls’ case, it did not. This is her memoir of being a person, a woman, a theater artist, who was unable to make her exterior match her interior state, and more broadly, a funny, vulnerable meditation on what it means to feel embodied joy, and what happens to the heart when the body will not cooperate. In Ruhl’s profound-but-relatable, quietly reflective style, she uses the experience to reflect on her life, on illness and wellness, on connection and alienation.
I recall Ruhl's observation in her (also brilliant) essay collection 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time to Write (#76!) about the lack of plays that take seriously the experience of motherhood from the mother’s point of view, and this book seems to be a near-perfect addition to the neglected canon of stories that center and illuminate that experience.
Speaking personally, it was eye opening, as a man, to learn about Ruhl’s experience as a new mother working in theater. I knew intellectually that workplaces suck at accommodating parents and especially new mothers, but WOW, the things that happened to actual legend/genius Sarah Ruhl were so infuriating; her recounting of them gave me a slightly realer understanding of the world.
If you’re already a fan of Sarah Ruhl, like me, there’s also a fun “behind the music” quality to the book; you get to better understand the personal context of some of her recent books and plays. But if you’ve never encountered her work, this is the perfect place to start: here’s a standout memoir for anyone who craves a wise, reflective, funny vision of the world through the eyes of someone who has had a relatively unusual vantage point on it for the past decade, and who has the tremendous writerly skill--and generosity--to share how it changed her.
September 8, 2021
An amazing story of a human soul...its growth, change and self acceptance couched within the story of one woman's slow , and not totally complete recovery from Bell's Palsy. Ruhl is fearless in her depiction of her illness and the psychological implications for her, her husband and her children.
She details her long journey to recovery (not complete by the end of the narrative), her post partum depression, celiac disease and other complications. Along the way we see how she does or does not deal with these difficulties and watch as she slowly grows in self understanding and self realization.
I loved this well written, beautiful memoir and think many others will too. Highly recommended, especially for those who like memoir.
Thank you to Byrd's Book for the ARC.
She details her long journey to recovery (not complete by the end of the narrative), her post partum depression, celiac disease and other complications. Along the way we see how she does or does not deal with these difficulties and watch as she slowly grows in self understanding and self realization.
I loved this well written, beautiful memoir and think many others will too. Highly recommended, especially for those who like memoir.
Thank you to Byrd's Book for the ARC.
Read
June 9, 2022I love the work of Sarah Ruhl, so couldn't wait to get my hands on a copy of this memoir about her experiences with Bell's palsy, a high-risk pregnancy, play-writing
September 14, 2021
Beautifully-written memoir that really captures what it's like to have a chronic medical condition (in which ones "wins" are slowly measured out in the course of years instead of weeks or days.) I really appreciated the use of photography to outline examples in the book.
I knew very little about Bell's Palsy before reading this book (especially how common it could be for postpartum women) and learned a lot from Ruhl's experience--not only how it felt for her, but also the importance we put on faces and smiles in our communications and community building. Like most complex medical conditions, losing one's smile is something few of us ever take time to consider.
As someone who has complex chronic medical issues, I really appreciated the author's detailed description of her healing. I too am all too familiar with the "making it up as you go" process of trying everything and everyone and what it feels like to encounter dismissive, distracted healers whose bad advice ends up adding years to your journey. Those stories are some of the most gripping and sad (the PT at the gym!) in the book.
The weakness of the book is one the author acknowledges herself. It's a slow one, without a dramatic finale. In that way, the softer focus of this memoir might be overshadowed by others which tell a more harrowing tale. However, those more dramatic memoirs often suffer from sub-par writing. There is no doubt that Ruhl has a way with words. It's that gift that keep this particular story moving and the reader engaged.
I received an ARC of this book courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I knew very little about Bell's Palsy before reading this book (especially how common it could be for postpartum women) and learned a lot from Ruhl's experience--not only how it felt for her, but also the importance we put on faces and smiles in our communications and community building. Like most complex medical conditions, losing one's smile is something few of us ever take time to consider.
As someone who has complex chronic medical issues, I really appreciated the author's detailed description of her healing. I too am all too familiar with the "making it up as you go" process of trying everything and everyone and what it feels like to encounter dismissive, distracted healers whose bad advice ends up adding years to your journey. Those stories are some of the most gripping and sad (the PT at the gym!) in the book.
The weakness of the book is one the author acknowledges herself. It's a slow one, without a dramatic finale. In that way, the softer focus of this memoir might be overshadowed by others which tell a more harrowing tale. However, those more dramatic memoirs often suffer from sub-par writing. There is no doubt that Ruhl has a way with words. It's that gift that keep this particular story moving and the reader engaged.
I received an ARC of this book courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
December 23, 2021
Thank you, Sarah Ruhl, for writing this book!
I've never had to face the condition you did as you learned to live with Bell's Palsy, and work your way through your life with an odd ?disability? feature, condition. . . .but I'm grateful to have read through this book and had my eyes opened to life with this . . .condition.
Mostly I enjoyed the writing, the expression of feeling and emotion, the explanation of how regular life presents problems a person without the condition has ever considered. Such an eye-opener, mind-blower and description of this troubling personal catastrophe - talk about full stop! And a double whammy for those who do not return to their "normal" face. I've had one close friend who had this condition - also at the end of a pregnancy. . .but she mostly stayed hidden and away from her usual crowd until it was gone and we just heard about it in the aftermath story.
I loved the haikus at the end, and all the different ways the author approached solutions. Brilliant! And then how she approached acceptance and learning to live with her life, her face as it is, not waiting for one test of perfection to happen before she moves on. . . life just keeps going one foot in front of the other, one smile after another.
An excellent read. Inspiring, practical, realistic and full of love. She knocked me out when she reached out of the book, touched my face and said she loved it. Absolutely stunning. Took my breath away.
I've never had to face the condition you did as you learned to live with Bell's Palsy, and work your way through your life with an odd ?disability? feature, condition. . . .but I'm grateful to have read through this book and had my eyes opened to life with this . . .condition.
Mostly I enjoyed the writing, the expression of feeling and emotion, the explanation of how regular life presents problems a person without the condition has ever considered. Such an eye-opener, mind-blower and description of this troubling personal catastrophe - talk about full stop! And a double whammy for those who do not return to their "normal" face. I've had one close friend who had this condition - also at the end of a pregnancy. . .but she mostly stayed hidden and away from her usual crowd until it was gone and we just heard about it in the aftermath story.
I loved the haikus at the end, and all the different ways the author approached solutions. Brilliant! And then how she approached acceptance and learning to live with her life, her face as it is, not waiting for one test of perfection to happen before she moves on. . . life just keeps going one foot in front of the other, one smile after another.
An excellent read. Inspiring, practical, realistic and full of love. She knocked me out when she reached out of the book, touched my face and said she loved it. Absolutely stunning. Took my breath away.
March 7, 2022
This is a well-written memoir of living with, and through, a disability and a slow, partial recovery -- Ruhl has Bell's palsy, which renders half of the face immobile. I found it interesting from the perspective of both a disabled person and a faceblind person; her meditations on what the face means to people, and what it is like when your face doesn't match your interior, seemed like the other side of my own experience, as I am basically unsure of what every face is saying to me all the time. And her experiences with disability are, as every disability story is, both personal and universal -- there are the same horrible doctors, the same missed opportunities, the same hope and fear, but there is also, of course, her very personal, singular story.
This is also a parenting memoir, as her Bell's palsy set in shortly after the birth of her twins. And it's a PPD memoir, and a general depression memoir, and a memoir about ten years in one family's life. (Warning: it contains not one, but two parental deaths, both of which are painful and touching.) Ruhl, unsurprisingly, has an ear for dialogue and the knack of making short scenes and essays work. Overall, I really enjoyed this, despite a few sour notes.
This is also a parenting memoir, as her Bell's palsy set in shortly after the birth of her twins. And it's a PPD memoir, and a general depression memoir, and a memoir about ten years in one family's life. (Warning: it contains not one, but two parental deaths, both of which are painful and touching.) Ruhl, unsurprisingly, has an ear for dialogue and the knack of making short scenes and essays work. Overall, I really enjoyed this, despite a few sour notes.
January 7, 2022
This book blew me away. I had read Ruhl's collection of "100 Essays I Don't Have Time to Write" and enjoyed it, but I almost want to go back now and reread those essays, with a new understanding of the context in which they were written. Ruhl's story of her fight to win back her smile from the vicious grip of Bell's Palsy was agonizing and uplifting. Her vast array of accomplishments during this time (and before) is humbling, especially considering the additional setbacks she's encountered along the way. As a working mom, I love to see someone achieve so much despite the naysayers in a competitive field. Ruhl's accomplishments in the theater and in her writing alone are more than extraordinary; the fact that she achieved them with often severe and chronic illness and while raising three children is near miraculous.
November 29, 2021
Decent memoir; philosophical and thoughtful yet tedious at times with too much filler.
January 22, 2022
Sarah Ruhl is a NYC playwright who, after giving birth to twins, develops Bell's Palsy. Most people apparently recover from Bell's within a few months to a year, but as Sarah's lingered, she starts to lose her sense of self and how she interacts with the world, and she investigates different approaches to resolve the condition. She can't mirror smiles with her babies, she comes across as stern and expressionless, which is devastating to both her career world and her personal one. In Smile, Sarah details her decade-long journey and weaves in anecdotes about her upbringing and life experience. I didn't like how she pulls in so many quotations from other areas that seem to add nothing to her story and she is at times unnecessarily wordy, but I did enjoy reading about her recovery. I vaguely recall that my dad had an experience with Bell's so I will have to ask more about that soon.
September 22, 2021
When playwright Sarah Ruhl gave birth to twins after a difficult pregnancy, something happened and she developed Bells Palsy, a condition that forever changes her self-perception and the way she feels comfortable confronting the world. This memoir discusses that journey. What sets it apart from similar stories is her curiosity and engagement with the wider world. She has a successful career in the arts and must work diligently to keep producing art while taking care of babies and her own health. And so she asks what does a smile mean, anyway? Why must a woman be expected to smile in every circumstance? Will her babies be alienated from a mother who can't beam down at them with a loving face? And beyond sociology, Ruhl must also navigate a complicated medical system that doesn't know how to go about treating her. Both sorrow and a nod to the absurdist situation this condition has brought to her are here in the story. And it might be a sort of path for others in similar circumstances to follow. This memoir is excellent and recommended.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this lovely book.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this lovely book.
April 28, 2021
Award-winning, renowned playwright Sarah Ruhl has given theater audiences the world over (including myself) enormous and often life changing pleasure. Now she has written a heart wrenching and yet life affirming memoir of her journey with Bells Palsey. I adored every sentence of this wise and wonderful book. Every single sentence. The wisdom and humor and pain of this 10 year journey is conveyed so very beautifully. A perfect book. Truly.
July 8, 2021
An adorable story about a play write who developed Bell’s Palsy after delivering twins. A lot of great information, both emotional and factual, is presented regarding this affliction and situation. I could only imagine what she went through! Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.
October 6, 2021
I've seen and enjoyed several of Sarah Ruhl's plays, so I was excited to read her new memoir and learn more about her as a writer and a person. Smile is about Ruhl's birth of twins and subsequent onset of Bell's palsy, a condition where the face is partially paralyzed.
The first part of the book was the most interesting to me, about the pregnancy, births, the beginning of the Bell's palsy, and the challenges of working as a playwright through all of these things. Ruhl writes with eloquence, insight, and humor. (One favorite story was about people misunderstanding her pronunciation of her daughter's name) She would often jump back in time to share stories of her past that helped frame her present situation, and there are a lot of academic references as well.
Somewhere in the middle, I stopped feeling quite as engaged with the story. All of the real life drama in the beginning provided a lot of interesting content, but after that, her life settled into a more steady rhythm. There are lots of little stories that were fine to read through but didn't necessarily draw me forward to the next, and in between, there was a lot of musings about faces, spirituality, illness, and more. Most of the subjects are mentioned lightly and didn't provide me with any takeaways, with the exception of the topic of faces. I'm still thinking about how it must feel like to have a face that can't express the emotion you feel, the importance we as a society place on horizontal symmetry, and all the things that a smile signifies.
I think Ruhl anticipated that the end of her memoir, people would be wanting some sort of big, satisfying conclusion (which admittedly is what I was feeling), and wrote:
"My years of writing plays tells me that a story requires an apotheosis, a sudden transformation. But my story has been so slow, so incremental, the nature of the chronic, which resists plot and epiphany... What kind of story is that?"
A story worth reading, I think.
Thanks to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for providing a copy in exchange for an honest review.
The first part of the book was the most interesting to me, about the pregnancy, births, the beginning of the Bell's palsy, and the challenges of working as a playwright through all of these things. Ruhl writes with eloquence, insight, and humor. (One favorite story was about people misunderstanding her pronunciation of her daughter's name) She would often jump back in time to share stories of her past that helped frame her present situation, and there are a lot of academic references as well.
Somewhere in the middle, I stopped feeling quite as engaged with the story. All of the real life drama in the beginning provided a lot of interesting content, but after that, her life settled into a more steady rhythm. There are lots of little stories that were fine to read through but didn't necessarily draw me forward to the next, and in between, there was a lot of musings about faces, spirituality, illness, and more. Most of the subjects are mentioned lightly and didn't provide me with any takeaways, with the exception of the topic of faces. I'm still thinking about how it must feel like to have a face that can't express the emotion you feel, the importance we as a society place on horizontal symmetry, and all the things that a smile signifies.
I think Ruhl anticipated that the end of her memoir, people would be wanting some sort of big, satisfying conclusion (which admittedly is what I was feeling), and wrote:
"My years of writing plays tells me that a story requires an apotheosis, a sudden transformation. But my story has been so slow, so incremental, the nature of the chronic, which resists plot and epiphany... What kind of story is that?"
A story worth reading, I think.
Thanks to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for providing a copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 25, 2021
Ruhl’s Journey to walk through the mystery of Bell’s palsy is a thoughtful and insightful read. This story, written with the intensity and clarity of the poet and playwright Ruhl is, offers a generous encouragement to one’s soul, using her long-term illness as a backdrop. Reminding each of us of the role a simple smile makes in our daily lives, Ruhl connects her experience to religion, cure, love, career, and grief as we follow her inquiry and search for wholeness. Filled with memorable phrases and useful terms, her story is a breath of fresh air for all of us who have struggled with long-term challenges. Thank you Sarah!
October 4, 2021
The author writes of becoming affected by Bell’s palsy following the birth of her twins and the subsequent decade that she spent living with the condition, which still has never completely cleared up.
I can wholeheartedly sympathize with anyone having to deal long term with a situation that is quite temporary for most people afflicted. Being in that minority would, frankly, suck.
That being said, I thought this memoir lacked the emotional punch that separates good memoirs from great ones. I didn’t think this was great; it was pretty good, occasionally wandering into boring territory.
Thanks #netgalley and #simonschuster for this ARC of #smile in exchange for an honest review.
I can wholeheartedly sympathize with anyone having to deal long term with a situation that is quite temporary for most people afflicted. Being in that minority would, frankly, suck.
That being said, I thought this memoir lacked the emotional punch that separates good memoirs from great ones. I didn’t think this was great; it was pretty good, occasionally wandering into boring territory.
Thanks #netgalley and #simonschuster for this ARC of #smile in exchange for an honest review.
April 27, 2022
I read this in ONE DAY for the Disability Readathon 2022. A very poignant memoir of a woman’s decade long journey of disability, motherhood, creativity, and spirituality. I would highly recommend this book to everyone.
February 8, 2022
Sarah Ruhl was making a name for herself as a playwright and author...married, with one child, she seemed to have it all.
Then the OB tells her she's having twins. Then the twins arrive, and she suddenly develops Bell's palsy...half of her face is paralyzed. She can't smile. She doesn't look like herself. As she is now juggling three children, and two infants.
This is a story of the struggles Ruhl endures to find answers...90% of people (and yes, new mothers DO develop this) who have sudden-onset Bell's recover as spontaneously as they suffered. One day it's gone, recovered. Patients have their faces back. Ruhl is part of that unlucky 10%. She visits doctors, both traditional and non-traditional. She goes to therapists, she practices smiling in mirrors, even though she avoids mirrors. She tries to continue her career, nurture her family. But her life, and her family's lives, have changed because of Bell's. She avoids people. She hides her face, she hates taking photos, abhors hearing a photographer tell her to 'smile for the camera.'
This book is a meditation on what it means to have a face, what our faces reflect about us. About looking for answers when there may be none. About finding a way to take one step forward and then another. She reads, she listens. She writes. She finds some professionals who say they can help, only to be crushed with disappointment. She learns to find joy in small triumphs. She shares all these struggles with us, not in self-pity, but in self-knowledge.
What happens when your life craters, but you have three small children to care for, a husband who loves you, a profession you are committed to? How do you overlay all this with something like Bell's that literally changes the way you see yourself, and others see you? What happens when you can't even smile at your beautiful babies.
I love the way Ruhl brings her own considerable reading into this book...making connections among all kinds of thinkers as she works to make sense of what's happened to her. I will definitely read more.
Then the OB tells her she's having twins. Then the twins arrive, and she suddenly develops Bell's palsy...half of her face is paralyzed. She can't smile. She doesn't look like herself. As she is now juggling three children, and two infants.
This is a story of the struggles Ruhl endures to find answers...90% of people (and yes, new mothers DO develop this) who have sudden-onset Bell's recover as spontaneously as they suffered. One day it's gone, recovered. Patients have their faces back. Ruhl is part of that unlucky 10%. She visits doctors, both traditional and non-traditional. She goes to therapists, she practices smiling in mirrors, even though she avoids mirrors. She tries to continue her career, nurture her family. But her life, and her family's lives, have changed because of Bell's. She avoids people. She hides her face, she hates taking photos, abhors hearing a photographer tell her to 'smile for the camera.'
This book is a meditation on what it means to have a face, what our faces reflect about us. About looking for answers when there may be none. About finding a way to take one step forward and then another. She reads, she listens. She writes. She finds some professionals who say they can help, only to be crushed with disappointment. She learns to find joy in small triumphs. She shares all these struggles with us, not in self-pity, but in self-knowledge.
What happens when your life craters, but you have three small children to care for, a husband who loves you, a profession you are committed to? How do you overlay all this with something like Bell's that literally changes the way you see yourself, and others see you? What happens when you can't even smile at your beautiful babies.
I love the way Ruhl brings her own considerable reading into this book...making connections among all kinds of thinkers as she works to make sense of what's happened to her. I will definitely read more.
December 21, 2023
The last two pages of the final chapter of this book are some of the most beautiful writing I’ve ever read, and the quote from the writer’s daughter at the end of the foreword is so moving that a literal single tear rolled down my cheek.
UGH! Sarah! I just love her. This is a beautifully done memoir as it tells one very specific story of one part of Ruhl’s life, which she interweaves with tangential but intrinsically connected anecdotes and memories. Her words and thoughts are always some of my favorite and this is no different. Plus, I found it page turning. The language is devour-able.
Highly recommend this read. A moving meditation on beauty, identity, motherhood and the body in relationship to the soul.
UGH! Sarah! I just love her. This is a beautifully done memoir as it tells one very specific story of one part of Ruhl’s life, which she interweaves with tangential but intrinsically connected anecdotes and memories. Her words and thoughts are always some of my favorite and this is no different. Plus, I found it page turning. The language is devour-able.
Highly recommend this read. A moving meditation on beauty, identity, motherhood and the body in relationship to the soul.
January 24, 2022
Playwright Sara Ruhl's compelling memoir about her decade-long effort to manage the physical, medical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological impacts of Bell's Palsy that developed after the birth of her twins ticks all the boxes: it made me think, feel, and learn. The book addresses the chicken-egg paradox of happiness...if your smile expresses your inner joy and delight, does not being able to smile decrease your ability to feel those emotions? It challenges the reader to take control of their own medical care and team...if a medical professional is cold or unprofessional or just plain gives you the creeps, keep searching for a better fit. It provides trenchant insights into the management of a chronic illness or condition, offering a few powerful dos and don'ts for those who would like to be allies and supporters..."I can't even imagine!" is a useless statement; try to imagine and empathize! It's a love letter to her husband and children. It riffs on joy and identity and gender expectations and working parents and smiles. I'm uncertain whether to keep this for a second read in the future or pass it on to others to share the wisdom and heart and hope. All that and gorgeously written besides.
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