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Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear
The 1980s and 1990s, the height of the AIDS crisis in the United States, was decades ago now, and many of the stories from this time remain hidden: A Catholic nun from a small Midwestern town packs up her life to move to New York City, where she throws herself into a community under assault from HIV and AIDS. A young priest sees himself in the many gay men dying from AIDS and grapples with how best to respond, eventually coming out as gay and putting his own career on the line. A gay Catholic with HIV loses his partner to AIDS and then flees the church, focusing his energy on his own health rather than fight an institution seemingly rejecting him.
Set against the backdrop of the HIV and AIDS epidemic of the late twentieth century and the Catholic Church's crackdown on gay and lesbian activists, journalist Michael O'Loughlin searches out the untold stories of those who didn't look away, who at great personal cost chose compassion--even as he seeks insight for LGBTQ people of faith struggling to find a home in religious communities today.
This is one journalist's--gay and Catholic himself--compelling picture of those quiet heroes who responded to human suffering when so much of society--and so much of the church--told them to look away. These pure acts of compassion and mercy offer us hope and inspiration as we continue to confront existential questions about what it means to be Americans, Christians, and human beings responding to those most in need.
Set against the backdrop of the HIV and AIDS epidemic of the late twentieth century and the Catholic Church's crackdown on gay and lesbian activists, journalist Michael O'Loughlin searches out the untold stories of those who didn't look away, who at great personal cost chose compassion--even as he seeks insight for LGBTQ people of faith struggling to find a home in religious communities today.
This is one journalist's--gay and Catholic himself--compelling picture of those quiet heroes who responded to human suffering when so much of society--and so much of the church--told them to look away. These pure acts of compassion and mercy offer us hope and inspiration as we continue to confront existential questions about what it means to be Americans, Christians, and human beings responding to those most in need.
281 pages, Hardcover
First published November 30, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
December 5, 2021
There is little in the book that I did not personally witness in Los Angeles, albeit from a distance. When historians in 2220 wish to understand the interplay between the Catholic Church, the AIDS epidemic, the persons who suffered from the disease, and the Catholics who took care of them, this will be the source. It also rekindled in my long forgotten feelings. O’Loughlin has made a major contribution to the dialogue between the gay community and the Catholic Church. Never met you Mike, but thank you.
January 24, 2022
This book brought me to tears over and over again - tears of mourning for queer lives lost to ignorance and fear, but also tears of joy for those poignant moments when Catholics stepped into the true light of their faith to defend the rights and the lives of the weakest. As a queer Catholic myself, the author’s quest to reconcile his beloved faith and his sexuality hit so close to home, and that his answers lay in seeking his history speaks so closely to how I have reconciled myself as well. This book is so important, so special, so beautiful.
April 1, 2023
A helpful insight to a rarely spoken about history
November 24, 2021
Great work in documenting the HIV/AIDS crisis among gay men in the US and the response of Catholics, both supportive and oppositional. A distinctive perspective about history in my lifetime. I lived through many of the events in the book, and it was very helpful to hear about them from those who were at the forefront of care in those days. Having listened to the Plague podcast, much of the book was familiar but reading the book made things hit home in a new way. And there are some new stories and details that weren't in the podcast as well. I love the journalistic approach of the book, getting at what happened with people, how they reacted and responded, and tracing their journey even to today.
Shelved as 'looks-promising'
December 1, 2021Kindle book is as expensive as the print edition. Wasn't the whole point of Kindle to save paper and money? 🤔🤨
January 21, 2022
As someone aspiring to religious life in the Anglican tradition, I read each page of this with delight, reaping enormous inspiration. This kind of faithful advocacy, often -- though not always -- made by queer Catholic religious, is the kind of life I would hope to make for myself as an openly gay monk.
Its stories are a refreshing counterpart to the dreadful history that the other end of the Roman communion has written for themselves. The flamboyant Spirit of Jesus Christ is wildly at work among queer Roman Catholics, and this masterful account tells us how.
Its stories are a refreshing counterpart to the dreadful history that the other end of the Roman communion has written for themselves. The flamboyant Spirit of Jesus Christ is wildly at work among queer Roman Catholics, and this masterful account tells us how.
December 18, 2022
I'm glad I read it. Part of the message is that gay Catholics can love God and embrace the life of the Church, and there were compassionate priests and nuns who showed great love to gay men who were dying in the AIDs epidemic. However, O'Loughlin doesn't fairly spell out the Church's position on condoms. Now I can look past that and appreciate the book simply for publishing these stories at all, which are invaluable and should be remembered. But the Church's position on contraception applies only within marriage; the Church technically does not have a position on whether nonmarried individuals should use contraception because the underlying position is that they shouldn't be having sex at all. And as a matter of public health, what kind of a solution is it when condoms - even if used properly - are only 90-95% effective in preventing HIV? Look it up if you don't believe me. Real life usage is even less effective. No, seriously... If you were facing a public health crisis where hundreds of thousands of gay men were dying of a sexually transmitted disease, would you tell your gay loved one to take his chances with a condom or to tone down his sexual practices? Obviously, your chances of acquiring HIV and AIDs are reduced when you use a condom; but when you multiply the failure rate by the hundreds of thousands of potential HIV-positive condom users, you could end up with tens of thousands of new HIV infections - even with the use of condoms. Failed contraception is a real thing, and "safe sex" does not actually exist outside of marriage. On the contrary, condoms simply give irresponsible sex the veneer of responsibility. O'Loughlin dances around these issues without spelling them out clearly, and he almost seems to blame the Church for gay people dying of AIDs - as if they would have listened to the Church on contraception while ignoring the Church on sex outside of marriage. News flash: If gay men aren't using condoms, it's not because the Church told them so. All that being said, I don't expect to agree with everyone all the time, and I can still learn a great deal from someone with whom I may have some differences of opinion. And to be fair, I did agree with a lot of what O'Loughlin had to say, and I thank him for writing the book.
March 1, 2023
A heartfelt examination of the reaction of LGB Catholics during a time of uncertainty and fear. It is beautiful to see how many loving people were able to overcome stigma to put the Gospel into action by helping those suffering from AIDS. The truly loving response of many religious sisters and priests was inspiring. I found particularly interesting the section on the experiences of gay priests during the AIDS crisis: I think this topic is deserving of its own standalone book.
Despite being an important read which I'd recommend, and despite feeling like I learned a lot, I was not impressed with the author or some of the tone in parts of the book. It did seem like the process of research and writing the book itself was a kind of catharsis for the author as he reconciled his faith and his sexuality; this unfortunately made some passages feel self-absorbed and self-indulgent. His engagement with actual Catholic theology also does not go much deeper than to brush aside and dismiss traditional Catholic "theology of the body" as being backwards and hate-centered, which isn't accurate.
Also, I've read several books on this topic, and what strikes me in reading books on AIDS by gay authors is how unfortunately intransigent many in the LGBT community remain about the reckless behavior of men during the height of the crisis.
While recognizing sensitively that this community at the time felt at war against unfair stigmatization and under siege by fear and hate, I think we can still safely discuss the issue of how many men completely ignored public health recommendations and were militantly unwilling to mitigate some of their more extreme behavior. An unwillingness to deal with this unfortunate reality undercuts many histories of the time and does not allow us to engage with any more nuanced understanding of this unique crisis.
Despite all this, I think it is important to read and learn about this topic, especially for Catholics, and especially for traditional Catholics, as we are called on to feed the hungry and care for the ill, and "the king will say...in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’"
Despite being an important read which I'd recommend, and despite feeling like I learned a lot, I was not impressed with the author or some of the tone in parts of the book. It did seem like the process of research and writing the book itself was a kind of catharsis for the author as he reconciled his faith and his sexuality; this unfortunately made some passages feel self-absorbed and self-indulgent. His engagement with actual Catholic theology also does not go much deeper than to brush aside and dismiss traditional Catholic "theology of the body" as being backwards and hate-centered, which isn't accurate.
Also, I've read several books on this topic, and what strikes me in reading books on AIDS by gay authors is how unfortunately intransigent many in the LGBT community remain about the reckless behavior of men during the height of the crisis.
While recognizing sensitively that this community at the time felt at war against unfair stigmatization and under siege by fear and hate, I think we can still safely discuss the issue of how many men completely ignored public health recommendations and were militantly unwilling to mitigate some of their more extreme behavior. An unwillingness to deal with this unfortunate reality undercuts many histories of the time and does not allow us to engage with any more nuanced understanding of this unique crisis.
Despite all this, I think it is important to read and learn about this topic, especially for Catholics, and especially for traditional Catholics, as we are called on to feed the hungry and care for the ill, and "the king will say...in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’"
June 29, 2022
Such a brilliant and necessary book. I think Michael O'Loughlin did a phenomenal job of incorporating his own story and perspective into the book while letting the people he interviewed and research speak for themselves and keeping a strong focus on the history itself. I'm also impressed at the way he would realize and confront his own biases and expectations throughout his time working on this project.
There are so many people I want to learn more about now that I had never heard of before reading this book. And I think the author did a really fantastic job of addressing the messy and complex history this book represents (i.e., the official position of the Catholic hierarchy which led to so much more death and suffering vs. some of the ordinary Catholics on the ground who were actually loving their neighbor and doing so much good - some laypeople and some priests and nuns).
This book also highlights variety - there are so many different ways people provided help to those suffering with AIDS, there are so many ways different gay Catholics attempted and still attempt to reconcile their faith with their sexuality (and some ultimately can't reconcile those things, which he shows is okay too) - and all of these different choices are shown with care and nuance.
This is such an important piece of history and I highly recommend for anyone interested in LGBTQ+ history, religious history, or any combination thereof. (O'Loughlin states that the audience he was thinking most of is other gay Catholics and their loved ones, but I think he also does a good job of providing context for readers who may not be familiar with the Church.)
CW: Grief, HIV / AIDS, homophobia, references to: suicide, sexual abuse, conversion therapy
There are so many people I want to learn more about now that I had never heard of before reading this book. And I think the author did a really fantastic job of addressing the messy and complex history this book represents (i.e., the official position of the Catholic hierarchy which led to so much more death and suffering vs. some of the ordinary Catholics on the ground who were actually loving their neighbor and doing so much good - some laypeople and some priests and nuns).
This book also highlights variety - there are so many different ways people provided help to those suffering with AIDS, there are so many ways different gay Catholics attempted and still attempt to reconcile their faith with their sexuality (and some ultimately can't reconcile those things, which he shows is okay too) - and all of these different choices are shown with care and nuance.
This is such an important piece of history and I highly recommend for anyone interested in LGBTQ+ history, religious history, or any combination thereof. (O'Loughlin states that the audience he was thinking most of is other gay Catholics and their loved ones, but I think he also does a good job of providing context for readers who may not be familiar with the Church.)
CW: Grief, HIV / AIDS, homophobia, references to: suicide, sexual abuse, conversion therapy
January 18, 2023
This was really, really good. Incredibly hard to read in places, but really good. The author is queer and Catholic and I think he does an absolutely phenomenal job of capturing the pain and frustration experienced by queer Catholics who are trying to reconcile their faith with their queerness (for context, I was raised Catholic). I’ve had a lot of experiences with queer people telling me it’s not possible to be queer and Catholic or insulting Catholicism, and of course experiences with Catholics not accepting my queerness. This book does a great job of respecting queer people who both stayed with the church and left, rather than casting any judgment on their decision. It still holds the church as an institution responsible, though, with heartbreaking stories of the people who died feeling rejected by their faith and the way the church abandoned those trying to make a difference in the HIV/AIDS crisis. The book begins by establishing a few of the key figures at the intersection of AIDS crisis work and Catholicism – a nun, a gay priest, and a gay lay Catholic – and weaves together their stories with the broader backdrop of the crisis, other vignettes, and the author’s own life. It was gripping, heartbreaking, and absolutely a crucial read for all Catholics – but I’d recommend it to queer people as well.
March 25, 2023
The world faced a medical crisis in the 1980s and 1990s as young men began dying of AIDS. The disease was frightening and because those who suffered early in this crisis were mostly gay, a mix of homophobia, fear, and outrage paralyzed the traditional medical support systems. In this compelling chronicle, O’Loughlin presents these early days of AIDS through the lens of those individuals who with an abundance of courage, Christian compassion, and love responded. The author tells the stories of several individuals, but the majority of this story is woven around two individuals: Sister Carol Baltosiewich, a Catholic Hospital Sister of Saint Francis from the Midwest, and Father Bill McNichols, a gay Jesuit priest and artist. Around these two individuals, the author describes the complex response of the Catholic Church as well as the deeply personal responses of local parish priests and their congregations in the hard-hit cities of New York, Chicago, and San Francisco. The stories are heartbreakingly deeply personal, but also inspiring. This is a powerful book providing insights into a time that on the one hand seems far distant, yet on the other is just a day away.
December 17, 2021
These stories of Catholic individuals who saw the need and stood up to help individuals with AIDS when their church and the hierarchy of the church was looking away or condemning these individuals are truly inspiring. O'Loughlin relates these stories with such compassionate that I found myself moved to tears a number of times. Very strong writing. As a HIV+ gay man and no longer a Catholic for many of the reasons stated in this work, I kept thinking of the strength of these individuals. But more so that their religion probably played some role, but in the end it was their true humanity. I kept thinking that there are these stories within all religious groups, but I'm glad to have been able to read about these individuals. They are people that give one a sense of hope in people.
My thanks to Edelweiss/Above the Treeline for providing this free ebook in exchange for a unbiased review.
My thanks to Edelweiss/Above the Treeline for providing this free ebook in exchange for a unbiased review.
August 24, 2022
Although the description about this book says that it’s about heroes who ministered to the suffering during the HIV AIDS epidemic, it’s really only a window dressing for the book. The real plot is about the author “coming out of the closet” boasting about his own homosexuality and trying to point out all of the ways in which he doesn’t approve of the Catholic Churches stance on LGBTQ issues. I was sad to find that it’s not a story of heroes but rather of pride and trying to promote all the things LGBTQ. I didn’t appreciate the bait and switch.
September 7, 2022
I’m very tired so this might be sort of incoherent but this was beautiful in most senses of the word. It added a new perspective to a time period that I have learned a lot about and care a lot about. It was very very interesting.
I think that if you want to see an intersection of religion and lgbt people that this would be a good book to read. It’s definitely trying to share more positive perspectives, but it doesn’t gloss over the negative ones.
Learning our history is important, and this book is a pretty good example at that
I think that if you want to see an intersection of religion and lgbt people that this would be a good book to read. It’s definitely trying to share more positive perspectives, but it doesn’t gloss over the negative ones.
Learning our history is important, and this book is a pretty good example at that
February 24, 2022
It’s impossible to read this book without weeping for the lives lost, the bigotry and hatred so many felt, and the countless acts of tender mercy and Christ’s love fulfilled by so many. I loved this and think it’s a profound and unique look at the Catholic response to the AIDs epidemic; a history that, as mentioned by the author, is slowly being erased as those who lived it have left this world.
July 28, 2022
A must-read for anyone who has struggled with their sexual orientation and their religion. While this book focuses on the Catholic church in particular, I found it extremely helpful for me even though I'm not as tight with that side of Christianity. The chronicling of the AIDS epidemic had me feeling some sort of way as it's easy for a millennial to view AIDS as something that happened long ago and really it's far fresher than we acknowledge.
July 6, 2023
This book was an eye opener for me for so many reasons. I learned a lot about the Catholic Church’s response to the HIV and AIDS epidemic in the 80s and 90s. It also highlighted some of my own biases I still have against the capital C Church. I absolutely adored Mike’s style of writing in this book and enjoyed sitting with it as it felt like I was listening to an old friend. Very much enjoyed this book club book:)
March 30, 2024
This was a beautiful book that tells a critically important story. It was obviously sad, and dry at points, but well-written and accessible. My critique is that it mostly focuses on the Chicagoland, New York, and Bay Areas, while I’m sure there were other important work on the AIDS-crisis being done by Catholics in other parts of the country as well that I would like to see documented (Boston, for example). Overall, a great book.
April 1, 2022
A compelling look at how individual Catholics lived the message of the gospels, in spite of their Church. It's hard to be faithful to a Church that is still deaf and blind to the needs of so many of their people. But, it is heartening to know that there are people who get the message and do what we, as Christians, are called to do.
March 30, 2023
Michael O'Loughlin takes us through the time period when, for me, the members of the LGBT community became visible. Imagine that we, as Catholics, were so willing to exclude this group of people and to claim that they deserved what they got. But to be inspired at the same time by all the people, Sr. Carol, Sr. Mary Ellen, Fr. William McNichols, and so many others who did what Jesus would do.
December 18, 2023
perfection!! made me feel so SEEN and like my experience is worth something. the prose is natural and comfortable while also being incredibly profound. i couldn’t put it down!! could not recommend more to anyone of any identity. even though it focuses on gay-catholic-church-aids interaction, at its core, it’s a narrative about humanity, compassion, resilience, and pure unadulterated love.
May 21, 2022
One of the most beautiful, compelling, sad, and life-giving books I’ve read. I read it in small doses so as to let each story and person—really icons written by O’Loughlin—sink in and work on me, and these icons of mercy and grace in this book will stay with me and inspire me for years.
June 6, 2022
A book written with extraordinary compassion and depth. A must read for gay and straight people alike...especially those of us who have lost a dearly beloved person to AIDS. Thank you, Michael J O'Loughlin!
December 27, 2021
Someone should buy the film rights to this book, pronto.
January 20, 2022
Was a good study of those Catholics who lived their faith during the Aids epidemic.
March 14, 2022
As a Catholic, when I saw the title of this book, I knew I needed to read it. I enjoyed reading the stories of Catholics who went out of their way and beyond church teaching to help those in need.
May 11, 2023
Very well written and researched about the sometimes misguided role the Catholic Church played in the HIV/Aids epidemic.
July 20, 2023
Much was known, but much was also new. Best part of history is recording stories not naturally capurted.
Read
September 18, 2023Jesus Wept.
December 23, 2023
I loved this book--I just wished there were more stories of women besides the Sisters featured.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews