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Tell Me Everything: The Story of a Private Investigation
Part memoir and part literary true crime, Tell Me Everything is the mesmerizing story of a landmark sexual assault investigation and the private investigator who helped crack it open.
Erika Krouse has one of those faces. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” people say, spilling confessions. In fall 2002, Krouse accepts a new contract job investigating lawsuits as a private investigator. The role seems perfect for her, but she quickly realizes she has no idea what she’s doing. Then a lawyer named Grayson assigns her to investigate a sexual assault, a college student who was attacked by football players and recruits at a party a year earlier. Krouse knows she should turn the assignment down; her own history with sexual violence makes it all too personal. But she takes the job anyway, inspired by Grayson’s conviction that he could help change things forever--and maybe she could, too.
Over the next five years, Krouse learns everything she can about P. I. technique, tracking down witnesses and investigating a culture of sexual assault and harassment ingrained in the university’s football program. But as the investigation grows into a national scandal and a historic civil rights case, she finds herself increasingly consumed. When the case and her life both implode at the same time, she must figure out how to help win the case without losing herself.
Erika Krouse has one of those faces. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” people say, spilling confessions. In fall 2002, Krouse accepts a new contract job investigating lawsuits as a private investigator. The role seems perfect for her, but she quickly realizes she has no idea what she’s doing. Then a lawyer named Grayson assigns her to investigate a sexual assault, a college student who was attacked by football players and recruits at a party a year earlier. Krouse knows she should turn the assignment down; her own history with sexual violence makes it all too personal. But she takes the job anyway, inspired by Grayson’s conviction that he could help change things forever--and maybe she could, too.
Over the next five years, Krouse learns everything she can about P. I. technique, tracking down witnesses and investigating a culture of sexual assault and harassment ingrained in the university’s football program. But as the investigation grows into a national scandal and a historic civil rights case, she finds herself increasingly consumed. When the case and her life both implode at the same time, she must figure out how to help win the case without losing herself.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published March 15, 2022
About the author
Erika Krouse
9 books247 followersErika Krouse is a writer of fiction and nonfiction. Her recent memoir, Tell Me Everything: The Story of a Private Investigation (March 15, 2022, Flatiron Books/Macmillan) is a Book of the Month pick, has been optioned by Playground Entertainment for TV adaptation, and received starred advance reviews from Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, Library Journal, and Bookpage. Erika is also the author of Contenders (novel, Rare Bird, 2015), and Come Up and See Me Sometime (short stories, Scribner, 2001). Erika’s short fiction has been published in The New Yorker, The Atlantic, Ploughshares, and One Story, and has been shortlisted for Best American Short Stories, Best American Nonrequired Reading, and the Pushcart Prize. Erika teaches at the Lighthouse Book Project at the Lighthouse Writers Workshop in Denver, and is a winner of the Lighthouse Beacon Award for Teaching Excellence. Her next book, Save Me: Stories (Flatiron Books/Macmillan) will be published in 2023 or 2024. www.erikakrouse.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,063 reviews
March 15, 2022
Ooooh boy, have I got a doozy of a book to tell you about! Erika Krouse’s Tell Me Everything delivers just about everything that attracts me to nonfiction and will keep you enthralled from start to finish if you...
...want to know how an average jane can go from minimum wage temp jobs to becoming a private investigator.
...like true crime but are tiring of the “crime” always being murder.
...enjoy beautifully-written memoirs, even about difficult subjects.
...have a curiosity about what goes on behind the scenes of American college football programs.
After a random encounter with an attorney, Erika Krouse gets hired by him to do P.I. work on one of his cases. Even though he had just met her, he told her things he hadn’t shared with anyone before. She just has one of those faces, where people feel like they know her and can use her as a receptacle for dumping their secrets and concerns. He knows immediately that as a private investigator, she’ll get all the beans/tea/guts to be spilled.
The case in question is the University of Colorado sexual assault and recruiting scandal circa 2004-2007. Krouse never mentions the college by name, and she gives pseudonyms to the people involved. (But thanks to google, I can play private investigator too!) Coaches supported recruiting high school players by wooing them with drugs and prostitutes. Players gang raped women because they felt entitled to do so. The university turned a blind eye to keep their Division 1 football cash cow humming along. GROSS!
Investigating the case was tricky for Krouse though, because she too is a survivor of abuse. Hers was of a familial nature, by a rapist in her own home (likely her step father, but again anonymity is used). In addition to the sexual abuse, her mother’s emotional and verbal abuse is astonishing. How someone can endure having such a P.O.S. as a mom and grow up to be a functioning adult is beyond me.
The text is so captivating that I never lost interest and sped through the audiobook in a day. (While not read by the author, narrator Gabra Zackman’s voice fits the tone well.) It’s clearly a tough story to hear at many points, and it should go without saying that victims of sexual assault may find the book either triggering or cathartic. I hope that since Erika Krouse is such an empathetic person it would be the latter. You feel like you’re spending time with an old friend. As it says right there in bold on the cover of the book, people do tell her everything.
My thanks to the author and Macmillan Audio for the gifted ALC to review via NetGalley. Tell Me Everything is out now!
Blog: https://www.confettibookshelf.com/
...want to know how an average jane can go from minimum wage temp jobs to becoming a private investigator.
...like true crime but are tiring of the “crime” always being murder.
...enjoy beautifully-written memoirs, even about difficult subjects.
...have a curiosity about what goes on behind the scenes of American college football programs.
After a random encounter with an attorney, Erika Krouse gets hired by him to do P.I. work on one of his cases. Even though he had just met her, he told her things he hadn’t shared with anyone before. She just has one of those faces, where people feel like they know her and can use her as a receptacle for dumping their secrets and concerns. He knows immediately that as a private investigator, she’ll get all the beans/tea/guts to be spilled.
The case in question is the University of Colorado sexual assault and recruiting scandal circa 2004-2007. Krouse never mentions the college by name, and she gives pseudonyms to the people involved. (But thanks to google, I can play private investigator too!) Coaches supported recruiting high school players by wooing them with drugs and prostitutes. Players gang raped women because they felt entitled to do so. The university turned a blind eye to keep their Division 1 football cash cow humming along. GROSS!
Investigating the case was tricky for Krouse though, because she too is a survivor of abuse. Hers was of a familial nature, by a rapist in her own home (likely her step father, but again anonymity is used). In addition to the sexual abuse, her mother’s emotional and verbal abuse is astonishing. How someone can endure having such a P.O.S. as a mom and grow up to be a functioning adult is beyond me.
The text is so captivating that I never lost interest and sped through the audiobook in a day. (While not read by the author, narrator Gabra Zackman’s voice fits the tone well.) It’s clearly a tough story to hear at many points, and it should go without saying that victims of sexual assault may find the book either triggering or cathartic. I hope that since Erika Krouse is such an empathetic person it would be the latter. You feel like you’re spending time with an old friend. As it says right there in bold on the cover of the book, people do tell her everything.
My thanks to the author and Macmillan Audio for the gifted ALC to review via NetGalley. Tell Me Everything is out now!
Blog: https://www.confettibookshelf.com/
March 18, 2022
Review 3.5 There were three main strands to this book, and I enjoyed the main one a lot - the author as private investigator into a rape case in a university that routinely encouraged and condoned any sexual behaviour at all with it's football stars.
The second story, interwoven with the first, was the author trying to overcome her childhood abuse by her mother's partner, her mother who didn't love her but did love her siblings, and her cold sister. Since I also had an unloving mother who idolised my brother, this was interesting to me, but ultimately our stories were too different for much identification.
The third part of the book, not a story, were the long, lyrical passages that added nothing to the stories but put me in mind of creative writing classes and also When Breath Becomes Air which I felt exactly the same about. This is my personal taste, you might very well enjoy these sort of interludes in book that is hard-crime based. An example
From reading the book, and from the news of course, it seems that it has become institutionalised that these great big football players, full of testosterone, need sexual outlets, whether paid, consensual or .... how can it be non-consensual, you were there and I'm a football player and a star! The Sports administration didn't see that the differences between paid, consensual and rape were anything they should be concerned about, boys will be boys and these were Stars to be indulged. It never crossed their minds, nor does it of many men, that rape is a major abuse, always violent whether physically, mentally or both, and is sexual only secondarily. They think of it as being all about sex.
The universities themselves are well-aware that rape is a major crime, and that giving coaches money to buy prostitutes for the football players is not student fees or donations are supposed to be used for. But they don't care. American culture in universities is all about the sports, Football, Baseball and Basketball, but especially Football. That is what gives them their reputation and brings in the money. That, to them, is far more important than some young women getting it a bit rough from the Stars. To the police, the glory of being in a univesity town with a top Football team is also paramount. And all of them, players, coaches, administration, law enforcement and federal judges connected to the university, will do anything to preserve that status quo.
The stories of the victims and their friends and the madam were interesting and well-told. The personal story was related with such anguish, I so identified when the author wanted to have a relationship with the mother she loved, but the mother didn't love her back and didn't want a relationship with her at all. It's not something you ever come to terms with, but you can metaphorically-speaking, pack in an overnight bag and stash at the back of the warrobe.
So, if we were allowed to give fractions as ratings it would be a 3.5 star one, rounded up to 4. Audiobooks are never my first choice (as a bookseller, naturally I prefer print), but the narration in this book was rather good.
__________
Reading notes The Four-Dog Defence as applied to a university protecting its sports stars from charges of sexual abuse and rape: 1. The rapists were not our football players. 2. If they were our football players, they didn't rape her. 3. If they were our football players and did rape her, it didn't hurt her. 4. if they were our football players and they raped her and hurt her, then she asked for it. The original. 1. That's not my dog. 2. If I had a dog, it didn't bite. 3. If I had a dog and it bit, then it didn't hurt. 4. If I had a dog and it bit you and it hurt, then you provoked it.
__________
The author is a black belt in several martial arts. She says she cannot win against men, but she is good, and it takes them a long time to make her lose. She says, "I didn't have the speed, the athleticism, the youth, testosterone, weight, strength or muscle mass to match the men and I don't care what anyone says, even slight advantages in any of those categories are what make people win or lose."
Apropos of male-bodied transgirls in high school sport, isn't that what is happening - the best girls can put up a good, long fight, but in the end, they will lose. And for elite athletes, where the transwomen will have taken drugs to reduce their testosterone to only twice that of natural women, same thing. Why is everyone so frightened of offending transwomen but not of offending, hurting and putting women back in what all the religions and many cultures of the world consider their natural place, at the bottom of the pile of who gets rights, human or otherwise?
The author is a private investigator. I cannot see that sex or gender is relevant to this or almost all occupations or in any public sphere, but sometimes the biology of a person really matters and althugh the author was not talking of gender, her argument about having male opponents in the martial arts hit home.
The second story, interwoven with the first, was the author trying to overcome her childhood abuse by her mother's partner, her mother who didn't love her but did love her siblings, and her cold sister. Since I also had an unloving mother who idolised my brother, this was interesting to me, but ultimately our stories were too different for much identification.
The third part of the book, not a story, were the long, lyrical passages that added nothing to the stories but put me in mind of creative writing classes and also When Breath Becomes Air which I felt exactly the same about. This is my personal taste, you might very well enjoy these sort of interludes in book that is hard-crime based. An example
.The mountains sagged into a deep fog and the mist wafted down the dirt roads in sheets. Weepy damp crawled on the dirt roads in sheets. Fog in the mountains isn't weather it's a stratus cloud. Vapor condensed on my face, hands, clothes. My feet, were cold my lungs were cold and the weepy damp crawled down my shirt and up the legs of my pants. I was in the mountains, but I couldn't see mountains only the silhouettes of trees.. I smelled sugar water seeping through the cracks of damp bark; phloem feeding the pine beetle larvae, nestled in their wooden galleries. The trees food gave the beetles the strength to grow beneath the bark and destroy their host. Like tiny shivers the dirt on my windows dampened into mud that collected in the corners, everything melted. [?] roof shingles hung by one nail. The town [?] felt sorry for itself. It's cheap wood. curling. The grocery store full of unsold vegetables. Rotting in the middle. And the Chinooks weren't done with us yet.and so on for another five paragraphs. These were fairly regular interruptions of the two stories. I can see how they served to illustrate feelings and a sense of place, but that could have been done in a few lines. My son, who was cooking and listening said, 'why doesn't she just get on with it?' and a bit later, 'not another one'. Maybe I didn't bring him up right?
From reading the book, and from the news of course, it seems that it has become institutionalised that these great big football players, full of testosterone, need sexual outlets, whether paid, consensual or .... how can it be non-consensual, you were there and I'm a football player and a star! The Sports administration didn't see that the differences between paid, consensual and rape were anything they should be concerned about, boys will be boys and these were Stars to be indulged. It never crossed their minds, nor does it of many men, that rape is a major abuse, always violent whether physically, mentally or both, and is sexual only secondarily. They think of it as being all about sex.
The universities themselves are well-aware that rape is a major crime, and that giving coaches money to buy prostitutes for the football players is not student fees or donations are supposed to be used for. But they don't care. American culture in universities is all about the sports, Football, Baseball and Basketball, but especially Football. That is what gives them their reputation and brings in the money. That, to them, is far more important than some young women getting it a bit rough from the Stars. To the police, the glory of being in a univesity town with a top Football team is also paramount. And all of them, players, coaches, administration, law enforcement and federal judges connected to the university, will do anything to preserve that status quo.
The stories of the victims and their friends and the madam were interesting and well-told. The personal story was related with such anguish, I so identified when the author wanted to have a relationship with the mother she loved, but the mother didn't love her back and didn't want a relationship with her at all. It's not something you ever come to terms with, but you can metaphorically-speaking, pack in an overnight bag and stash at the back of the warrobe.
So, if we were allowed to give fractions as ratings it would be a 3.5 star one, rounded up to 4. Audiobooks are never my first choice (as a bookseller, naturally I prefer print), but the narration in this book was rather good.
__________
Reading notes The Four-Dog Defence as applied to a university protecting its sports stars from charges of sexual abuse and rape: 1. The rapists were not our football players. 2. If they were our football players, they didn't rape her. 3. If they were our football players and did rape her, it didn't hurt her. 4. if they were our football players and they raped her and hurt her, then she asked for it. The original. 1. That's not my dog. 2. If I had a dog, it didn't bite. 3. If I had a dog and it bit, then it didn't hurt. 4. If I had a dog and it bit you and it hurt, then you provoked it.
__________
The author is a black belt in several martial arts. She says she cannot win against men, but she is good, and it takes them a long time to make her lose. She says, "I didn't have the speed, the athleticism, the youth, testosterone, weight, strength or muscle mass to match the men and I don't care what anyone says, even slight advantages in any of those categories are what make people win or lose."
Apropos of male-bodied transgirls in high school sport, isn't that what is happening - the best girls can put up a good, long fight, but in the end, they will lose. And for elite athletes, where the transwomen will have taken drugs to reduce their testosterone to only twice that of natural women, same thing. Why is everyone so frightened of offending transwomen but not of offending, hurting and putting women back in what all the religions and many cultures of the world consider their natural place, at the bottom of the pile of who gets rights, human or otherwise?
The author is a private investigator. I cannot see that sex or gender is relevant to this or almost all occupations or in any public sphere, but sometimes the biology of a person really matters and althugh the author was not talking of gender, her argument about having male opponents in the martial arts hit home.
March 26, 2022
Erika Krouse tells us in the opening chapters that she has one of those faces. Everyone who meets her, including strangers, spill their confessions to her. In 2002, a lawyer she had met just moments before, offered her a job as a PI, despite the fact that she had zero training. Since everyone spills their guts to her, this should be easy-peasy, right?
Apparently not. Maybe her face changed? Or maybe she exaggerated her abilities? I’m already questioning her reliability, which is not a good way to start a book. Maybe it’s all true but the BS alarm was already buzzing in my head. She’s very self-congratulatory about her abilities.
She ends up investigating sexual assault charges on campus colleges and the toxic culture surrounding recruitment programs and college football. The case turns into a civil rights case after a female student was raped by football players. The author uses pseudonyms and doesn’t name the university, although I’m not sure why since the case is a very old one and it’s quite easy to find online. Anyone who reads the news with any regularity is familiar with this case and the subject so nothing new was brought to the table.
Then there’s the memoir section, where she tells her life story, which includes her dating life during the time when she was investigating this case. No thanks! The author also talks a lot about her dysfunctional childhood and past sexual abuse. While I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who endures abuse, I just can't read about it anymore.
It's a memoir and the author can write whatever she wants, but I don't have to read it. I just don’t have it in me to continue on so I’m calling it quits.
* I received an audio digital copy via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Apparently not. Maybe her face changed? Or maybe she exaggerated her abilities? I’m already questioning her reliability, which is not a good way to start a book. Maybe it’s all true but the BS alarm was already buzzing in my head. She’s very self-congratulatory about her abilities.
She ends up investigating sexual assault charges on campus colleges and the toxic culture surrounding recruitment programs and college football. The case turns into a civil rights case after a female student was raped by football players. The author uses pseudonyms and doesn’t name the university, although I’m not sure why since the case is a very old one and it’s quite easy to find online. Anyone who reads the news with any regularity is familiar with this case and the subject so nothing new was brought to the table.
Then there’s the memoir section, where she tells her life story, which includes her dating life during the time when she was investigating this case. No thanks! The author also talks a lot about her dysfunctional childhood and past sexual abuse. While I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who endures abuse, I just can't read about it anymore.
It's a memoir and the author can write whatever she wants, but I don't have to read it. I just don’t have it in me to continue on so I’m calling it quits.
* I received an audio digital copy via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
April 3, 2022
This was a tough one for me to rate/write about since so much of it is so brilliant, but there was something that didn't work about it - something I couldn't quite put my finger on that kept it from being a shining five star read. Then I watched this online author event and something Krouse said made the lightbulb switch on for me.
But let me back up. This is a memoir that blends the author's professional and personal stories. In the early 2000s, Erika Krouse worked as a private investigator for a law firm gearing up to fight a civil case against a big university. A college student had been blatantly and horrifically sexually assaulted at a party that involved football recruits and the players hosting them ("showing them a good time"). It was widely known this attack happened and nothing was done about it. The players stayed in school, kept playing, and there were no criminal charges. Why? Because that's just how things were done, according to everyone. Football players were campus gods and never had to answer to anyone for anything.
The victim in this case refused to accept this. She contacted an attorney who wanted to go after the university in civil court, claiming a Title IX violation. Any university receiving federal funds needs to ensure that students have equal access to education. The law firm wanted to make the argument that, by, at BEST - ignoring and at WORST - propping up a culture of sexual assault surrounding the football program and then punishing the victims after such attacks occurred, the university was depriving female students of the equal right to an education.
Our author, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse herself, has one of those faces that seems familiar to many people. Complete strangers swear they know her from somewhere and inexplicably begin divulging secrets to her - things they've not even told loved ones. The lawyer taking on the civil case was one of those people when he bumped into Krouse at a book store and after he started spilling his guts to her and she told him that kind of thing happens to her all the time, he offered her a job on the spot.
Krouse's job was to get people involved with this situation to talk to her, find out what secrets were hidden, and help put the pieces of the puzzle together; their collective job was to prove the university knew about this culture of SA and chose to ignore it, likely because they wanted to keep the players on the field and out of a jail cell. Hard to win a football game - those lucrative, brutal spectacles - with your star athletes behind bars.
As our author takes on these interviews and learns how to be a PI by showing up and acting like one, a lot of her past trauma comes bubbling to the surface. During this same time, she met the man who would go on to become her husband and she was also learning how to let go of hope that her own family would, at the very least, acknowledge the abuse she endured.
The beginning sections had me absolutely hooked. Krouse writes with such passion and brings this time to life even though we're almost two decades separated from these events. Her background as a fiction writer and all the observational skills that requires seems to have given her an additional edge as a PI and certainly helped her faithfully tell this riveting story.
But the snag in this book happens when her own story of her fractured relationship with her mother becomes the dominant element. It's here the author lost some (not all) control of the storytelling. While I'm certainly glad she was able to tell her story and communicate how hard of a time she had dealing with her mother, it's very rocky terrain, reading-wise.
In the author talk I referenced at the start of this review, Krouse admits that 1) the first draft of much of what she wrote is what made it into the final book and 2) some people told her to cut some of those family sections but she wanted to leave them in, so she did.
This is where memoir gets tricky. Because yes, it's the author's story and they should be able to tell it the way they want. But also, they're releasing it in a book and asking for money for it. If this were a diary entry, you wouldn't need to consider the reader. But that's not what a memoir is. Had the section about her mother been edited more and had some repetitive parts been removed (I'm talking minor changes overall), it would have felt more balanced with the rest of the book and less like the reader was being asked to be her therapist.
I honestly felt uncomfortable reading those sections - not because of the author's traumas or hard truths, but because it felt like she was so out of control. Not just in the past moments she was writing about, but actually while she was writing it. It felt like it was still raw to her.
This book is 95% perfect. The story is incredible, the work they did was so important, I loved the writing. But I stubbed my toe on that element and it's holding me back from giving this the five stars I really wanted to give it.
Click here to hear more of my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
But let me back up. This is a memoir that blends the author's professional and personal stories. In the early 2000s, Erika Krouse worked as a private investigator for a law firm gearing up to fight a civil case against a big university. A college student had been blatantly and horrifically sexually assaulted at a party that involved football recruits and the players hosting them ("showing them a good time"). It was widely known this attack happened and nothing was done about it. The players stayed in school, kept playing, and there were no criminal charges. Why? Because that's just how things were done, according to everyone. Football players were campus gods and never had to answer to anyone for anything.
The victim in this case refused to accept this. She contacted an attorney who wanted to go after the university in civil court, claiming a Title IX violation. Any university receiving federal funds needs to ensure that students have equal access to education. The law firm wanted to make the argument that, by, at BEST - ignoring and at WORST - propping up a culture of sexual assault surrounding the football program and then punishing the victims after such attacks occurred, the university was depriving female students of the equal right to an education.
Our author, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse herself, has one of those faces that seems familiar to many people. Complete strangers swear they know her from somewhere and inexplicably begin divulging secrets to her - things they've not even told loved ones. The lawyer taking on the civil case was one of those people when he bumped into Krouse at a book store and after he started spilling his guts to her and she told him that kind of thing happens to her all the time, he offered her a job on the spot.
Krouse's job was to get people involved with this situation to talk to her, find out what secrets were hidden, and help put the pieces of the puzzle together; their collective job was to prove the university knew about this culture of SA and chose to ignore it, likely because they wanted to keep the players on the field and out of a jail cell. Hard to win a football game - those lucrative, brutal spectacles - with your star athletes behind bars.
As our author takes on these interviews and learns how to be a PI by showing up and acting like one, a lot of her past trauma comes bubbling to the surface. During this same time, she met the man who would go on to become her husband and she was also learning how to let go of hope that her own family would, at the very least, acknowledge the abuse she endured.
The beginning sections had me absolutely hooked. Krouse writes with such passion and brings this time to life even though we're almost two decades separated from these events. Her background as a fiction writer and all the observational skills that requires seems to have given her an additional edge as a PI and certainly helped her faithfully tell this riveting story.
But the snag in this book happens when her own story of her fractured relationship with her mother becomes the dominant element. It's here the author lost some (not all) control of the storytelling. While I'm certainly glad she was able to tell her story and communicate how hard of a time she had dealing with her mother, it's very rocky terrain, reading-wise.
In the author talk I referenced at the start of this review, Krouse admits that 1) the first draft of much of what she wrote is what made it into the final book and 2) some people told her to cut some of those family sections but she wanted to leave them in, so she did.
This is where memoir gets tricky. Because yes, it's the author's story and they should be able to tell it the way they want. But also, they're releasing it in a book and asking for money for it. If this were a diary entry, you wouldn't need to consider the reader. But that's not what a memoir is. Had the section about her mother been edited more and had some repetitive parts been removed (I'm talking minor changes overall), it would have felt more balanced with the rest of the book and less like the reader was being asked to be her therapist.
I honestly felt uncomfortable reading those sections - not because of the author's traumas or hard truths, but because it felt like she was so out of control. Not just in the past moments she was writing about, but actually while she was writing it. It felt like it was still raw to her.
This book is 95% perfect. The story is incredible, the work they did was so important, I loved the writing. But I stubbed my toe on that element and it's holding me back from giving this the five stars I really wanted to give it.
Click here to hear more of my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
March 19, 2022
Gadzooks this was dreadful!
You have heard the lines Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships by Christopher Marlowe written many years ago. Well now we have an author who claims she has a face that people will tell their deepest darkest secrets to. I mean, take a look at the author's face. Would you spill to her? Phew! my mother's secret crumb cake recipe is safe!!!
Honestly, this was a book that couldn't tell what it wanted to be and while the author spreads her story interspersed between the PI story and a science lesson on the brain, I began to wonder where were we going with this?
Granted the football scandal of which she clandestinely speaks is well known and easily searched for on the "trusty" internet. So, the author's keeping this part of her story a big secret made no sense. What did make sense was the fact that some would go to any lengths to attract potential recruits to colleges to play the head banging, body pounding sport of football. Offering "scholarship" to these young men, many of whom could not even read at a proficient level was a way to get them out of their awful environments, but at what a cost? Injuries, particularly head traumas, are rampant and many think they might unleash a violent trend in players, as if the game isn't violent enough. The scandal briefly, was that there was a party where copious underage drinking went on and a young girl who had passed out because of drinking was raped. She brings a lawsuit and hires a lawyer who within a nanosecond hires the author because of her getting people to spill their guts face. Her face fails her as she hunts for clues and witnesses. "The face flunked!”
The suit alleged that the university was responsible as well as the sports section of the university run by some really vile men. We kid no one when the education part of scholar even enters into the recruitment of young man. Sad but true, this sets up many young boys to envision themselves having a life of lots of fun, frolic, and sex. I mean who can say no to a football star?
Intermingled with all that is the story of her childhood and sexual abuse by X (a family member) from the age of four until seven. She has a mother who is cold and unfeeling and doesn't believe her or at least tells her to move on. I know abuse victims suffer immeasurably and carry that trauma with them, but unfortunately, I found I had a hard time with the subject in this story. It would have made a good separate book in itself. However, in this context, it looked like just a filler sadly.
All in all, I am angry at myself for using a BOTM credit on this one. Do yourself a favor and give this one a "pass."
You have heard the lines Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships by Christopher Marlowe written many years ago. Well now we have an author who claims she has a face that people will tell their deepest darkest secrets to. I mean, take a look at the author's face. Would you spill to her? Phew! my mother's secret crumb cake recipe is safe!!!
Honestly, this was a book that couldn't tell what it wanted to be and while the author spreads her story interspersed between the PI story and a science lesson on the brain, I began to wonder where were we going with this?
Granted the football scandal of which she clandestinely speaks is well known and easily searched for on the "trusty" internet. So, the author's keeping this part of her story a big secret made no sense. What did make sense was the fact that some would go to any lengths to attract potential recruits to colleges to play the head banging, body pounding sport of football. Offering "scholarship" to these young men, many of whom could not even read at a proficient level was a way to get them out of their awful environments, but at what a cost? Injuries, particularly head traumas, are rampant and many think they might unleash a violent trend in players, as if the game isn't violent enough. The scandal briefly, was that there was a party where copious underage drinking went on and a young girl who had passed out because of drinking was raped. She brings a lawsuit and hires a lawyer who within a nanosecond hires the author because of her getting people to spill their guts face. Her face fails her as she hunts for clues and witnesses. "The face flunked!”
The suit alleged that the university was responsible as well as the sports section of the university run by some really vile men. We kid no one when the education part of scholar even enters into the recruitment of young man. Sad but true, this sets up many young boys to envision themselves having a life of lots of fun, frolic, and sex. I mean who can say no to a football star?
Intermingled with all that is the story of her childhood and sexual abuse by X (a family member) from the age of four until seven. She has a mother who is cold and unfeeling and doesn't believe her or at least tells her to move on. I know abuse victims suffer immeasurably and carry that trauma with them, but unfortunately, I found I had a hard time with the subject in this story. It would have made a good separate book in itself. However, in this context, it looked like just a filler sadly.
All in all, I am angry at myself for using a BOTM credit on this one. Do yourself a favor and give this one a "pass."
March 15, 2022
When author Erika Krouse was hired to be a private investigator for a law firm everything from her appearance to the way she spoke and carried herself was the reason she was hired. In “Tell Me Everything” (2022) Krouse was able to perfect her natural abilities to successfully convince her clients to confess, share and divulge personal information that was used in investigations, lawsuits, court trials, high profile criminal cases that received national and international publicity. Erika Krouse is a multi-award-winning writer and earned an MA in English Literature and Creative Writing from the University of Colorado-Boulder, this is her third book.
Krouse began her long private investigation that involved alleged player rapes from a university football team. Football was “Capitalism on Steroids” with a University State budget of 19 million USD per year (2004-07). The elite, egotistical and entitlement culture of brotherhood among football players basically allowed the young men to do whatever they wished and (often) without consequences. Certain players committed acts of rape, assault, domestic violence, DUI’s involving alcohol and/or substance abuse and other unacceptable conduct. There were solid forces in place from sports assistants, coaches, university officials and personnel to law enforcement and the judicial system that covered-up misconduct, violations, citations and the dismissal of charges to ensure football scholarship requirements were met. If a female student dared to come forward to report player misconduct, she was likely threatened with loss of her own scholarship, silenced and dismissed.
It was particularly difficult for Krouse to investigate a case involving rape because of her own background of childhood sexual assault. The man who assaulted her was only identified as “X” and was married to her equally unfit and despicable mother. Krouse was forced to accept terribly hard truths of her family life as she became a highly skilled private investigator. Through painstaking interviews and hard work Krouse helped raise public awareness of college rape culture that fostered some changes in public policy--her efforts were also instrumental in winning justice for victims. This is a noteworthy and courageous book! **With thanks to Flatiron/Macmillan Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
Krouse began her long private investigation that involved alleged player rapes from a university football team. Football was “Capitalism on Steroids” with a University State budget of 19 million USD per year (2004-07). The elite, egotistical and entitlement culture of brotherhood among football players basically allowed the young men to do whatever they wished and (often) without consequences. Certain players committed acts of rape, assault, domestic violence, DUI’s involving alcohol and/or substance abuse and other unacceptable conduct. There were solid forces in place from sports assistants, coaches, university officials and personnel to law enforcement and the judicial system that covered-up misconduct, violations, citations and the dismissal of charges to ensure football scholarship requirements were met. If a female student dared to come forward to report player misconduct, she was likely threatened with loss of her own scholarship, silenced and dismissed.
It was particularly difficult for Krouse to investigate a case involving rape because of her own background of childhood sexual assault. The man who assaulted her was only identified as “X” and was married to her equally unfit and despicable mother. Krouse was forced to accept terribly hard truths of her family life as she became a highly skilled private investigator. Through painstaking interviews and hard work Krouse helped raise public awareness of college rape culture that fostered some changes in public policy--her efforts were also instrumental in winning justice for victims. This is a noteworthy and courageous book! **With thanks to Flatiron/Macmillan Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
April 23, 2022
actual rating: 2.5 stars 🌟
March 26, 2022
Audiobook….read by Gabra Zackman
…..9 hours and 35 minutes
Phenomenal
*AUDIO-NARRATION* by Gabra Zackman!!!!
Gaba Zackman as the audio-reader was so outstanding, I thought she ‘was’ Erika Krouse….( her story; her written words)
This is not a pretty true crime/true memoir combo…..
…..not a pretty college tale involving football players rape/and injustice — [every college administrator should read this book] —
…..not a pretty personal story for a child of rape or her years of relationship struggles with her mother — …….[this story risks being achingly painful for victims of rape or estranged mother/daughter relationships]
The painful - compelling-affecting- prose (emotionally felt surrounding Erika’s unsettling relationship with her mother was the hardest part of this story for me to reflect)
but …..
This book is a groundbreaking contribution in the area of fusion-genre-combination….
Plus….
…. it speaks to a very large
systemic problem.
….[sexual assault on college campuses- by privileged football players]
In simple terms…
I found the audiobook to be totally unputdownable —
…..FRESHLY engrossing…
….in some ways a similar listening experience like when listening to Ottessa Moshfegh’s books (enhanced by the audio-format).
On more complex terms ….
this book inspires new thoughts and possibilities in the area of alternative ways to write true crime/ memoir books.
Plus …
some of Erika’s sentences describing nature, mountains, the sun, hairless rats, black belt training, her time in Japan, her personal trials and tribulations, varied mental health therapies, her boyfriend, JD, etc., were wonderfully all-consuming interesting to me.
I found myself rooting for Erika (confidence & insecure; approachable in personality)
a great P I newbie: a sly strategic Private Investigator’ protagonist.
I was totally in the same room with Erika - at bars and restaurants while she was interviewing other college women to find out what they knew about the young woman, Simone, who was gang raped at a party by a bunch of sleazy football players.
What Erika lacked in P I experience- she made up with intuitive talents, diligent work, passion, and nitty gritty chutzpah.
Strangers often trusted Erika. They told her personal things that they rarely did close friends. She had that way about her.
There was a popular TV show years ago called “Moonlighting”- with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd —
They were private eye detectives working together.
The quirkiness of the relationship was a very enjoyable part of the show.
At times - I thought about how great “Tell Me Everything” could be as similar screen series - (with deeper depth -but still endearing).
With Grayson as the lawyer, and Erika as the newly inexperienced hired PI ….
there are other ‘issue-oriented’ storylines that could take off from this book.
It could be an entertaining, purposefully powerful series — inspired by our gifted author, Erika Krouse.
I’d definitely watch the series.
I’m glad I added another non fiction- (partial memoir) to my March Memoir Madness month. I liked it a lot.
Clearly not a book for everyone — (sensitive topics, etc.), but I thought it was great ….
I am a totally satisfied customer!
“You can’t nibble the pill, you must swallow it whole”.
“Prostitutes rapist, and lawyers”…..
…..what’s not to like?
Haha!
…..9 hours and 35 minutes
Phenomenal
*AUDIO-NARRATION* by Gabra Zackman!!!!
Gaba Zackman as the audio-reader was so outstanding, I thought she ‘was’ Erika Krouse….( her story; her written words)
This is not a pretty true crime/true memoir combo…..
…..not a pretty college tale involving football players rape/and injustice — [every college administrator should read this book] —
…..not a pretty personal story for a child of rape or her years of relationship struggles with her mother — …….[this story risks being achingly painful for victims of rape or estranged mother/daughter relationships]
The painful - compelling-affecting- prose (emotionally felt surrounding Erika’s unsettling relationship with her mother was the hardest part of this story for me to reflect)
but …..
This book is a groundbreaking contribution in the area of fusion-genre-combination….
Plus….
…. it speaks to a very large
systemic problem.
….[sexual assault on college campuses- by privileged football players]
In simple terms…
I found the audiobook to be totally unputdownable —
…..FRESHLY engrossing…
….in some ways a similar listening experience like when listening to Ottessa Moshfegh’s books (enhanced by the audio-format).
On more complex terms ….
this book inspires new thoughts and possibilities in the area of alternative ways to write true crime/ memoir books.
Plus …
some of Erika’s sentences describing nature, mountains, the sun, hairless rats, black belt training, her time in Japan, her personal trials and tribulations, varied mental health therapies, her boyfriend, JD, etc., were wonderfully all-consuming interesting to me.
I found myself rooting for Erika (confidence & insecure; approachable in personality)
a great P I newbie: a sly strategic Private Investigator’ protagonist.
I was totally in the same room with Erika - at bars and restaurants while she was interviewing other college women to find out what they knew about the young woman, Simone, who was gang raped at a party by a bunch of sleazy football players.
What Erika lacked in P I experience- she made up with intuitive talents, diligent work, passion, and nitty gritty chutzpah.
Strangers often trusted Erika. They told her personal things that they rarely did close friends. She had that way about her.
There was a popular TV show years ago called “Moonlighting”- with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd —
They were private eye detectives working together.
The quirkiness of the relationship was a very enjoyable part of the show.
At times - I thought about how great “Tell Me Everything” could be as similar screen series - (with deeper depth -but still endearing).
With Grayson as the lawyer, and Erika as the newly inexperienced hired PI ….
there are other ‘issue-oriented’ storylines that could take off from this book.
It could be an entertaining, purposefully powerful series — inspired by our gifted author, Erika Krouse.
I’d definitely watch the series.
I’m glad I added another non fiction- (partial memoir) to my March Memoir Madness month. I liked it a lot.
Clearly not a book for everyone — (sensitive topics, etc.), but I thought it was great ….
I am a totally satisfied customer!
“You can’t nibble the pill, you must swallow it whole”.
“Prostitutes rapist, and lawyers”…..
…..what’s not to like?
Haha!
December 23, 2022
My Year of (Mostly) Mysterious Women continues with series fiction featuring women detectives. I’m avoiding police procedurals and standalone “women in peril'' thrillers to focus on ladies who are amateur sleuths. Tell Me Everything: The Story of a Private Investigation is my introduction to writer Erika Krouse and her document of being hired by a Colorado law firm as a private investigator. This memoir published in 2022 was a contrast between insights into the work of a PI and shockingly, developments or descriptions which are not conveyed in a way to be believable. I had to skim to finish this, always a bad sign.
On paper, Krouse's background is one I should've found compelling. After earning her MA from the University of Colorado in 1996, her short story collection Come Up and See Me Sometime was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year in 2001. By her account, temp jobs and subsisting at near poverty followed until Krouse encountered an attorney at a bookstore. Hearing himself share confidential matters with her (Krouse claims that she has a face which compels perfect strangers to confess their secrets), the attorney, who Krouse refers to as "Grayson," hires her to work part-time for his firm as a private investigator.
With zero training and little guidance, Krouse considers quitting until Grayson asks her to interview his client "Simone Baker." In December 2001 while a student at Krouse's alma mater, Simone was hosting a girls-only party which twenty college football players and recruits crashed. Krouse later learns the players found out about the party from a female coed assigned to schedule activities for the recruits and who herself had been raped by a football player. Drunk, Simone was followed into a bedroom by between five and eight men, several of which raped her too. Grayson believes he can sue the university under Title IX rules for failing to protect the civil rights of its students.
Excitement displaced my nervousness. I was going to work on a civil rights case. Me! I wrote down everything Grayson said: pervasive harassment, school's knowledge, deliberate indifference. Inequality. The phrase "deliberate indifference" ricocheted around my mind. Could indifference to crime be a crime? I had never imagined such a thing.
Grayson said, "I want you to start discreetly gathering evidence. If we file, it'll be much harder once the university mounts their four-dog defense. So keep it quiet."
"What's a four-dog defense?"
Grayson recited, "One, that's not my dog. Two, if it was my dog, he didn't bite you. Three, if my dog bit you, it didn't hurt you. And four, if my dog bit you and hurt you, you provoked him."
I thought for a second. "So they'll argue they're not responsible for the football players. But if they are, the players didn't rape your client. If they did rape her, it didn't hurt her. And if it did hurt her, she asked for it. Is that it?"
Grayson said, "You understand this pretty well."
Of course. I understood perfectly.
I had to turn down this job.
Krouse reveals to the reader that she too is a survivor of sexual assault. Her abuser--who she refers to as "X" and is possibly a father or stepfather--occurred between the ages of 4 and 6. Krouse has cut "X" out of her life but her mother, who is still with him, refuses to acknowledge or in any way help Krouse bring closure to what happened. This is possibly the worst mother ever depicted in print. Krouse even mentions that in the James Bond movies, the henchmen are more dangerous than the villains because they act out of love as opposed to greed.
The mother is so deranged and the author so insistent on reconciliation with this person--to the point she has a nervous breakdown during her honeymoon and remains despondent for several years--that it overwhelms the story of the victims she's working with and the system they're trying to change. This is a landmark federal case about football, campus rape and coverup with dozens of victims, but the author--possibly using the same magic she employs to divine confessions--wants the reader to believe that she's the focus of the case.
Erika Krouse writes about herself as if generating a character for a roleplaying game. Her ability to conjure secrets from anyone who gazes on her is the type of charisma normally reserved for wizards. Her knack for reconstructing conversations from memory is impressive, yet this power apparently evaded her when it came to earning a living wage. She chronicles her marital arts training, sessions which consist of bones broken and body parts sprained by male sparring partners whose behavior suggests diabolical sexism and sadism. I kept reading because the detail about PI work seemed real.
I did have one small advantage: the sentence "I'm a private investigator." Those were words nobody had heard before in real life. I used them whenever I could. They made people feel important, thrown into some larger arena, like a character in a detective novel or noir movie. They agreed to meet with me to make the story real, with themselves at the center of it. They wanted to be the woman in the red dress and big hat, or the man at the bar on his fifth whiskey, paid for by me.
A good memoir should leave no doubt that what being portrayed did actually happen. Several of the statements accredited to coaches or players are so brazen, so outrageous, so tone deaf that they stretch credibility even for the '00s. In the middle of all this, Krouse begins dating a marital arts PT who has the patience of a Buddhist monk. Based on the self-loathing the author uses to describe herself, it's baffling why this man stays with her (dating a private investigator is definitely not a reason). Much of the book seemed unbelievable to me, and for what needed to be a chronicle of campus sexual assault, that's bad.
On paper, Krouse's background is one I should've found compelling. After earning her MA from the University of Colorado in 1996, her short story collection Come Up and See Me Sometime was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year in 2001. By her account, temp jobs and subsisting at near poverty followed until Krouse encountered an attorney at a bookstore. Hearing himself share confidential matters with her (Krouse claims that she has a face which compels perfect strangers to confess their secrets), the attorney, who Krouse refers to as "Grayson," hires her to work part-time for his firm as a private investigator.
With zero training and little guidance, Krouse considers quitting until Grayson asks her to interview his client "Simone Baker." In December 2001 while a student at Krouse's alma mater, Simone was hosting a girls-only party which twenty college football players and recruits crashed. Krouse later learns the players found out about the party from a female coed assigned to schedule activities for the recruits and who herself had been raped by a football player. Drunk, Simone was followed into a bedroom by between five and eight men, several of which raped her too. Grayson believes he can sue the university under Title IX rules for failing to protect the civil rights of its students.
Excitement displaced my nervousness. I was going to work on a civil rights case. Me! I wrote down everything Grayson said: pervasive harassment, school's knowledge, deliberate indifference. Inequality. The phrase "deliberate indifference" ricocheted around my mind. Could indifference to crime be a crime? I had never imagined such a thing.
Grayson said, "I want you to start discreetly gathering evidence. If we file, it'll be much harder once the university mounts their four-dog defense. So keep it quiet."
"What's a four-dog defense?"
Grayson recited, "One, that's not my dog. Two, if it was my dog, he didn't bite you. Three, if my dog bit you, it didn't hurt you. And four, if my dog bit you and hurt you, you provoked him."
I thought for a second. "So they'll argue they're not responsible for the football players. But if they are, the players didn't rape your client. If they did rape her, it didn't hurt her. And if it did hurt her, she asked for it. Is that it?"
Grayson said, "You understand this pretty well."
Of course. I understood perfectly.
I had to turn down this job.
Krouse reveals to the reader that she too is a survivor of sexual assault. Her abuser--who she refers to as "X" and is possibly a father or stepfather--occurred between the ages of 4 and 6. Krouse has cut "X" out of her life but her mother, who is still with him, refuses to acknowledge or in any way help Krouse bring closure to what happened. This is possibly the worst mother ever depicted in print. Krouse even mentions that in the James Bond movies, the henchmen are more dangerous than the villains because they act out of love as opposed to greed.
The mother is so deranged and the author so insistent on reconciliation with this person--to the point she has a nervous breakdown during her honeymoon and remains despondent for several years--that it overwhelms the story of the victims she's working with and the system they're trying to change. This is a landmark federal case about football, campus rape and coverup with dozens of victims, but the author--possibly using the same magic she employs to divine confessions--wants the reader to believe that she's the focus of the case.
Erika Krouse writes about herself as if generating a character for a roleplaying game. Her ability to conjure secrets from anyone who gazes on her is the type of charisma normally reserved for wizards. Her knack for reconstructing conversations from memory is impressive, yet this power apparently evaded her when it came to earning a living wage. She chronicles her marital arts training, sessions which consist of bones broken and body parts sprained by male sparring partners whose behavior suggests diabolical sexism and sadism. I kept reading because the detail about PI work seemed real.
I did have one small advantage: the sentence "I'm a private investigator." Those were words nobody had heard before in real life. I used them whenever I could. They made people feel important, thrown into some larger arena, like a character in a detective novel or noir movie. They agreed to meet with me to make the story real, with themselves at the center of it. They wanted to be the woman in the red dress and big hat, or the man at the bar on his fifth whiskey, paid for by me.
A good memoir should leave no doubt that what being portrayed did actually happen. Several of the statements accredited to coaches or players are so brazen, so outrageous, so tone deaf that they stretch credibility even for the '00s. In the middle of all this, Krouse begins dating a marital arts PT who has the patience of a Buddhist monk. Based on the self-loathing the author uses to describe herself, it's baffling why this man stays with her (dating a private investigator is definitely not a reason). Much of the book seemed unbelievable to me, and for what needed to be a chronicle of campus sexual assault, that's bad.
March 30, 2022
I’m not gonna tell you everything but I’ll tell you ONE thing…this memoir is everything.
I don’t know if I’ve ever read anything like it. Part memoir and part literary true crime, this personal story will grab a hold of you and not let you go until that very last page. A big thanks to @booktalketc for putting this on my radar.
I was listening to Cindy @thoughtsfromapage podcast episode with Simone St. James and she talked about how popular true crime is with women. It’s a way to process something difficult that may have happened to us (or perhaps we’re afraid it will) and I think that is indeed what the author of Tell Me Everything is doing. She herself experienced childhood sexual abuse and by becoming involved in the sexual assault investigation she’s working through her own traumas. This is not an easy read as you can probably tell but it’s an important one. If you’ve read Chanel Miller’s Know My Name, I think you’ll definitely want to pick this one up as well.
The audiobook was fantastically narrated by @gabracadabranyc . Thank you @macmillan.audio for the free audiobook.
This was also a @bookofthemonth selection for March. I definitely recommend adding it to next months box if you missed out.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 💫
I don’t know if I’ve ever read anything like it. Part memoir and part literary true crime, this personal story will grab a hold of you and not let you go until that very last page. A big thanks to @booktalketc for putting this on my radar.
I was listening to Cindy @thoughtsfromapage podcast episode with Simone St. James and she talked about how popular true crime is with women. It’s a way to process something difficult that may have happened to us (or perhaps we’re afraid it will) and I think that is indeed what the author of Tell Me Everything is doing. She herself experienced childhood sexual abuse and by becoming involved in the sexual assault investigation she’s working through her own traumas. This is not an easy read as you can probably tell but it’s an important one. If you’ve read Chanel Miller’s Know My Name, I think you’ll definitely want to pick this one up as well.
The audiobook was fantastically narrated by @gabracadabranyc . Thank you @macmillan.audio for the free audiobook.
This was also a @bookofthemonth selection for March. I definitely recommend adding it to next months box if you missed out.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 💫
March 3, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of
Tell Me Everything.
I knew this was going to be a difficult and heart wrenching read - not because it's written poorly (it's not) or because I didn't care about what the author was saying (I do!) but because it's a very painful subject to listen and read about.
Part memoir and part true crime, Ms. Krouse discusses how she became a P.I. and was hired to investigate a sexual assault at a university.
As the author delves deep into interviewing the victims and perpetrators involved in the case, she discovers a systematic rape culture inherent at the school.
At the same time, she is forced to recall and deal with her own horrific childhood abuse at the hands of someone very close to her.
When the case hits a legal snag, Ms. Krouse's personal life is also upended as she struggles with her contentious family; a family who refused to acknowledge her abuse and her abuser who is very much alive and well, her own feelings and where she stands as a survivor, woman, sister, daughter, and wife.
I enjoyed the author's snippets of P.I. history and how private investigations as a career evolved; the historical context provided a bit of levity as the investigation and case progressed, as she spoke to traumatized victims, tears were shed and terrible, graphic details were revealed.
Ms. Krouse's writing style and tone is warm, sincere, and honest.
She pulls no punches about what and how she's suffered; what she's done to heal, seeking help and solace in therapy and how the investigation brought to life her own feelings about the abuse she's suffered and how she came to grips with it, after so many years.
It never goes away and it never gets easy to deal.
But's it not all bad news.
Despite how the investigation ended and her own personal struggles, it was the love of her husband, good friends and her strong personality that enabled her to see that hope and recovery is possible, from anyone, you and me, anyone willing to listen and be there for someone.
Sometimes that means more than you can ever know.
At the end of the book, the author thanks the reader for reading Tell Me Everything.
Ms. Krouse, thank YOU for telling your story.
I knew this was going to be a difficult and heart wrenching read - not because it's written poorly (it's not) or because I didn't care about what the author was saying (I do!) but because it's a very painful subject to listen and read about.
Part memoir and part true crime, Ms. Krouse discusses how she became a P.I. and was hired to investigate a sexual assault at a university.
As the author delves deep into interviewing the victims and perpetrators involved in the case, she discovers a systematic rape culture inherent at the school.
At the same time, she is forced to recall and deal with her own horrific childhood abuse at the hands of someone very close to her.
When the case hits a legal snag, Ms. Krouse's personal life is also upended as she struggles with her contentious family; a family who refused to acknowledge her abuse and her abuser who is very much alive and well, her own feelings and where she stands as a survivor, woman, sister, daughter, and wife.
I enjoyed the author's snippets of P.I. history and how private investigations as a career evolved; the historical context provided a bit of levity as the investigation and case progressed, as she spoke to traumatized victims, tears were shed and terrible, graphic details were revealed.
Ms. Krouse's writing style and tone is warm, sincere, and honest.
She pulls no punches about what and how she's suffered; what she's done to heal, seeking help and solace in therapy and how the investigation brought to life her own feelings about the abuse she's suffered and how she came to grips with it, after so many years.
It never goes away and it never gets easy to deal.
But's it not all bad news.
Despite how the investigation ended and her own personal struggles, it was the love of her husband, good friends and her strong personality that enabled her to see that hope and recovery is possible, from anyone, you and me, anyone willing to listen and be there for someone.
Sometimes that means more than you can ever know.
At the end of the book, the author thanks the reader for reading Tell Me Everything.
Ms. Krouse, thank YOU for telling your story.
March 29, 2022
Tell Me Everything is the story of the landmark "Lisa Simpson, et al. v. University of Colorado" sexual assault case as told by a private investigator with main character syndrome. In fact, it's much more a memoir of the author's personal life and experience of sexual abuse than a coherent account of the case and the investigative work that culminated in what seemed to be an impossible legal victory, which I would have preferred. That's not to say there isn't a lot to sympathise with in Krouse's description of dealing with her awful family and decades of trauma, but it wasn't why I chose the book and it's not as interesting as the private investigation this book is ostensibly about. Being in the company of a self-loathing author, who nevertheless thinks she's a Pinkerton-level detective, was a bit of an ordeal. Ronan Farrow, with
Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators
, set a benchmark for this kind of memoir/reportage approach that Krouse falls desperately short of. He recognised that his subjects, terrible as some of them were, were bigger than him. I don't think Krouse does.
March 25, 2023
3.5/4 stars
I listened to the audiobook on Tell Me Everything and liked it more then I thought I would.
For me, I was more invested in the investigation of sexual assaults and rape that happened to female students by college football players and the recruits coming to check out the football program.
How Erika Krouse became a private investigator wasn't as interesting to me but I still enjoyed listening to it.
If you're curious about the college that this happened at, Erika doesn't come out and say who it is but gives huge amounts of clues in the book.
I'm not a “private investigator” but with good ole Wiki and thinking about those clues, it's the University of Colorado-Boulder.
The massive case took about 5 years to get resolved and during that time, Erika goes into her own background as a sexual assault victim and why everything at CU mattered so much to her.
She was sexually assaulted as a child, her family took the side of the accused, and in my opinion they're all trash for doing that.
Yeah, I'm looking at you Erika's Mom. You're a piece of ____.
I listened to the audiobook on Tell Me Everything and liked it more then I thought I would.
For me, I was more invested in the investigation of sexual assaults and rape that happened to female students by college football players and the recruits coming to check out the football program.
How Erika Krouse became a private investigator wasn't as interesting to me but I still enjoyed listening to it.
If you're curious about the college that this happened at, Erika doesn't come out and say who it is but gives huge amounts of clues in the book.
I'm not a “private investigator” but with good ole Wiki and thinking about those clues, it's the University of Colorado-Boulder.
The massive case took about 5 years to get resolved and during that time, Erika goes into her own background as a sexual assault victim and why everything at CU mattered so much to her.
She was sexually assaulted as a child, her family took the side of the accused, and in my opinion they're all trash for doing that.
Yeah, I'm looking at you Erika's Mom. You're a piece of ____.
March 15, 2022
I wanted to like this story based on the reviews I had read prior to selecting this as my BOTM choice . However …I just could not get interested in this story, for a few reasons . The way the author jumps from the story line to her past to her present , is very unorganized and I would typically appreciate this type of writing but in this book and the way it’s done it just doesn’t flow together well. There are a lot of characters, and I couldn’t connect with any of them , and would often lose who was being talked about and what was going on. I think this story had the potential to be a great book since the author has a very traumatic past and could have been tied together with the plot of the story being that it was the same kind of trauma she was helping the girls with. Major missed opportunity here ..unfortunately. Another reason I couldn’t get into the story was all the talk about sex. It became just too much , much like beating a dead horse . The characters seemed very immature to me as well as the author . I could go on but I don’t feel it’s necessary.
April 23, 2022
4.0 Stars
This was such a gripping true crime memoir dealing with some very difficult content warnings. I found the aspects of the private investigation fascinating but I found the author's own story equally as gripping. Given the subject I need to give a content warning for sexual abuse and rape. However I felt the author handled these issues very sensitively in order to limit the triggering content. I highly recommend this one to anyone who is fascinated by the subject or enjoys personal true crime writing.
This was such a gripping true crime memoir dealing with some very difficult content warnings. I found the aspects of the private investigation fascinating but I found the author's own story equally as gripping. Given the subject I need to give a content warning for sexual abuse and rape. However I felt the author handled these issues very sensitively in order to limit the triggering content. I highly recommend this one to anyone who is fascinated by the subject or enjoys personal true crime writing.
April 29, 2022
4 Stars
March 5, 2022
You know that girl in high school who suffered from not diabetes but lie-abetes? The one who claimed to go to Paris every summer and intern for fashion greats even though she was 14? The one who was dating the pop singer and could totally prove it but kept forgetting to bring in their love letters? Who was born in the Bronx and grew up in LA but inexplicably was living in suburban nowhere? But when you asked why she explained it was because her family was in the witness protection program? She’s also xenophobic and problematic as hell and fully believes that everyone believes her pathological lies?
That’s who wrote this book.
I’m on page 5 and the author has already stereotyped and mocked Japanese women and written bizarre, clearly made up, would never happen encounters that led her to her PI job.
This book is a self indulgent lie fest.
Skip it.
That’s who wrote this book.
I’m on page 5 and the author has already stereotyped and mocked Japanese women and written bizarre, clearly made up, would never happen encounters that led her to her PI job.
This book is a self indulgent lie fest.
Skip it.
March 11, 2022
Great, but difficult read. The author confronts her own history of sexual abuse as a small child while working as a private investigator on a now-famous college rape case. A lot of heavy material here. I really felt bad for the author for the way her family treated her. There was a surprising lack of bitterness here considering her experiences.
March 9, 2022
I really wanted to like this book. This is the first BOTM I’ve chosen that was absolutely miserable to finish. Maybe I was triggered by the all of the SA, I don’t know. The author seemed to bounce wildly between the story and random bits of information/history that really had nothing to do with what she was writing about. The book felt political in some ways, wanting to take a jab whenever possible. When she mentioned one of the judges standing up for the case being conservative and appointed by Trump, she still had to downplay it like he was “finally standing up because he had daughters.” It may all be truth but I hate watching people push a divide even worse than it already is.
I do feel like the author could be/is a great writer, but this book is not one I would suggest as a must read. Which sucks, because if this story is all true she did do a lot of amazing work standing up for rape victims and bringing light to a major problem at this university.
I do feel like the author could be/is a great writer, but this book is not one I would suggest as a must read. Which sucks, because if this story is all true she did do a lot of amazing work standing up for rape victims and bringing light to a major problem at this university.
September 3, 2023
This was such a surprise. I had to keep checking that this was a true story. I don’t often like non-fiction because I am looking for entertainment when I read. Not to say that non-fiction can’t be entertaining but it is often a bit more dry. This just read like a great story. Erika is an interesting lead with many flaws. She needed a great therapist so badly! And her family!! Horrible for the most part. So glad that some things have changed for women on campuses everywhere but how sad the cost to so many. Thank you to Snag Dragons for the gift of this book.
March 5, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for the eARC.
A suffocating but captivating read, "Tell Me Everything" tells the story of how the author got to be a private investigator of a major case with no experience beforehand.
Despite having really heavy topics, I couldn't put this down, the writing kept you hooked wanting to know what would happen next.
This was the reason as to why I didnt really mind the pacing but yeah, it was really slow but I also think that's the point, this was not an easy thing, case to go through.
To be honest, I had no idea what this book was about and requested solely for the cover and some words I saw in the description, so, the content surprised me, a lot. The author at first tells us everything that went through this huge case which was amazing to read since, yes, I do consume a lot of true crime stuff but I never got this much insight on how things actually are, looking back on the tv shows and movies I watched, they make it a lot more "simpler". And then, she recalls something that happened to her when she was a child, and how it impacts her to this day, how bad the relationship with her family is and how she treats herself for it. Even if I was hooked because of the true crime stuff, everything she wrote about her own life and feelings were really touching, really hard to read too since I can't believe how cold your own family can be but still, I appreciated this so much, the way she talked about trauma, how she described her emotions, so raw and profound.
Overall, an amazing read, didnt expect to love this as much as I did and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves !!
A suffocating but captivating read, "Tell Me Everything" tells the story of how the author got to be a private investigator of a major case with no experience beforehand.
Despite having really heavy topics, I couldn't put this down, the writing kept you hooked wanting to know what would happen next.
This was the reason as to why I didnt really mind the pacing but yeah, it was really slow but I also think that's the point, this was not an easy thing, case to go through.
To be honest, I had no idea what this book was about and requested solely for the cover and some words I saw in the description, so, the content surprised me, a lot. The author at first tells us everything that went through this huge case which was amazing to read since, yes, I do consume a lot of true crime stuff but I never got this much insight on how things actually are, looking back on the tv shows and movies I watched, they make it a lot more "simpler". And then, she recalls something that happened to her when she was a child, and how it impacts her to this day, how bad the relationship with her family is and how she treats herself for it. Even if I was hooked because of the true crime stuff, everything she wrote about her own life and feelings were really touching, really hard to read too since I can't believe how cold your own family can be but still, I appreciated this so much, the way she talked about trauma, how she described her emotions, so raw and profound.
Overall, an amazing read, didnt expect to love this as much as I did and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves !!
March 12, 2022
CW: this book has both child sexual abuse and sexual assault/rape on campus as well as the backlash that comes from reporting. It’s a very difficult read, so please take care.
I’m completely unaware of the sexual assault case this book is based on, probably because I don’t know anything that happens in the college football world. But when I saw a few reviews of the book, I knew I wanted to understand more.
I listened to the audiobook and while it’s not narrated by the author herself, I think the narrator did an amazing job capturing the raw emotions throughout, especially the sense of despair and helplessness that permeates due to the heart breaking situation of all the women who were assaulted and only received more allegations instead of justice, and the author herself who is a victim of child sexual abuse. As a reader, we also feel immense rage that such rape culture was deemed permissible by the university because they wanted to keep their coaches and players who felt entitled to women’s bodies, and I can’t believe that there exists an educational institution which felt winning football matches was more important than creating a safe and non discriminatory place for all its students. It just horrified me.
Just like the author herself who was a private investigator for the lawyer suing the university and had the task of talking to and convincing many of the women to be witnesses, I too felt uncomfortable sometimes that the women were being retraumatized by having to recount their experiences and then having to deal with threats and slut shaming but with no justice in sight. The author masterfully blends her own story within this narrative, talking about how the absence of support from her family, especially her mother, when she disclosed her abuse, has shaped her life. Reading about her anxieties, the numerous amounts of therapies and medications she tried to feel better, the affect her own experiences had in the way she felt about all the women she was meeting - it was all quite harrowing but I also was rooting for her and everyone to get the support and justice so that they could find peace in their lives. I was glad the author found a good man in her husband, who was her rock during difficult times and I could only hope that all the women had someone in their corner too.
While there is some resolution and relief to the plaintiffs, in the end, what the author says is true. There’s hardly any justice done because money can’t compensate for the horrors the women went through, and it’s not right that none of the perpetrators or enablers were punished. To know that some of them went on to play or coach in the NFL or even kept working in the same university just shows that violence against women will never be treated fairly and whatever small victories the survivors can gain, it’s only because of the many who keep fighting the fight against ugly odds.
I’m completely unaware of the sexual assault case this book is based on, probably because I don’t know anything that happens in the college football world. But when I saw a few reviews of the book, I knew I wanted to understand more.
I listened to the audiobook and while it’s not narrated by the author herself, I think the narrator did an amazing job capturing the raw emotions throughout, especially the sense of despair and helplessness that permeates due to the heart breaking situation of all the women who were assaulted and only received more allegations instead of justice, and the author herself who is a victim of child sexual abuse. As a reader, we also feel immense rage that such rape culture was deemed permissible by the university because they wanted to keep their coaches and players who felt entitled to women’s bodies, and I can’t believe that there exists an educational institution which felt winning football matches was more important than creating a safe and non discriminatory place for all its students. It just horrified me.
Just like the author herself who was a private investigator for the lawyer suing the university and had the task of talking to and convincing many of the women to be witnesses, I too felt uncomfortable sometimes that the women were being retraumatized by having to recount their experiences and then having to deal with threats and slut shaming but with no justice in sight. The author masterfully blends her own story within this narrative, talking about how the absence of support from her family, especially her mother, when she disclosed her abuse, has shaped her life. Reading about her anxieties, the numerous amounts of therapies and medications she tried to feel better, the affect her own experiences had in the way she felt about all the women she was meeting - it was all quite harrowing but I also was rooting for her and everyone to get the support and justice so that they could find peace in their lives. I was glad the author found a good man in her husband, who was her rock during difficult times and I could only hope that all the women had someone in their corner too.
While there is some resolution and relief to the plaintiffs, in the end, what the author says is true. There’s hardly any justice done because money can’t compensate for the horrors the women went through, and it’s not right that none of the perpetrators or enablers were punished. To know that some of them went on to play or coach in the NFL or even kept working in the same university just shows that violence against women will never be treated fairly and whatever small victories the survivors can gain, it’s only because of the many who keep fighting the fight against ugly odds.
April 24, 2022
Tell Me Everything is a non-fiction about a private investigator working for a lawyer in Boulder Colorado. She doesn’t disclose names in order to protect peoples privacy but I thought that was silly. With a few clicks on the internet, I found some of the people involved. I guess there is very little privacy now days due to Google!
Plot: University of Boulder Colorado has a very toxic and misogynistic culture in their Football team. Often sexual assault or rape is swept under the carpet. Many female students were seen available at the beckoning call of the recruits or the players. The coaches help even promoted bad behavior of the College Football Team!
Erika Krouse, along side with the lawyer, whom she calls Grayson, tried for years to uncover this toxic environment not just in Boulder but in other Colleges and University’s. In almost all the cases they got some justice but nobody went to jail! Which was very unsatisfying for me.
She also peppers her own sexual abuse growing up by a close family member, whom she calls X, here and there in the book.
Over all it was a good satisfying read.
I give it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Enjoy!
Plot: University of Boulder Colorado has a very toxic and misogynistic culture in their Football team. Often sexual assault or rape is swept under the carpet. Many female students were seen available at the beckoning call of the recruits or the players. The coaches help even promoted bad behavior of the College Football Team!
Erika Krouse, along side with the lawyer, whom she calls Grayson, tried for years to uncover this toxic environment not just in Boulder but in other Colleges and University’s. In almost all the cases they got some justice but nobody went to jail! Which was very unsatisfying for me.
She also peppers her own sexual abuse growing up by a close family member, whom she calls X, here and there in the book.
Over all it was a good satisfying read.
I give it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Enjoy!
December 24, 2023
Truly amazing book, the best I’ve read in a long, long time. A very honest personal narrative.
It is a journey from a fight for a woman’s justice to a challenge with her own inner demons to systemic issues still plaguing American institutions today.
A fast read that I devoured this intimate tale of institutional misogyny.
I highly recommend.
It is a journey from a fight for a woman’s justice to a challenge with her own inner demons to systemic issues still plaguing American institutions today.
A fast read that I devoured this intimate tale of institutional misogyny.
I highly recommend.
January 11, 2023
This was a fascinating, and incredibly shocking. It’s a nonfiction too which is mind blowing that there was a college that encouraged and arranged this behavior in their athletes.
February 12, 2023
This was written in an easy flow method that read more like fiction than non. Erika's story is loosely tied to the sexual assault accounts she is investigating. While this initially flows nicely, by the time she gets married, it veers to the point of messing with the overall narrative flow and detracting from the experience.
As a sexual assault survivor burdened with the task of proving pre-mediation to file official charges, I am always deeply saddened by the prevalence of such crimes. While this is not a lone incident, nor the last, it was nice to see that at least some changes were enacted. Will it be enough to combat future crimes? Unfortunately, that would require a change of mindset and people held to accountability on a massive scale not yet witnessed in this country.
There was an interesting correlation between violent sexual crimes and football injuries in defensive players. I wish this could have been explored a bit more.
Overall, this was worth the read—solid 4 Stars.
As a sexual assault survivor burdened with the task of proving pre-mediation to file official charges, I am always deeply saddened by the prevalence of such crimes. While this is not a lone incident, nor the last, it was nice to see that at least some changes were enacted. Will it be enough to combat future crimes? Unfortunately, that would require a change of mindset and people held to accountability on a massive scale not yet witnessed in this country.
There was an interesting correlation between violent sexual crimes and football injuries in defensive players. I wish this could have been explored a bit more.
Overall, this was worth the read—solid 4 Stars.
March 9, 2022
Wow. I feel like this needs to be read by everyone. The real, alarming reminder of what many women have experienced.. and the harsh recognition of many women not coming forward after sexual assaults. The authors raw emotions and own trauma entangled with the investigations and impact on her life was an added touch that solidified that gut punch of some people doing unspeakable things with no consequence. I truly enjoyed this book despite the heavy nature of the main focus; sexual assault. I felt like the author kept this in mind and the writing style softened the impact.
July 26, 2022
TELL ME EVERYTHING: The Story of a Private Investigation
Erika Krouse
INTERESTING for sure!
I enjoyed this investigative memoir of a woman who wants the reader to believe that she is a bumbling untrained and unskilled investigator. While I enjoyed the story and believed the victims and that the Universities are ready to protect their football team by pushing the "boys will be boys" attitude, I didn't think that Krouse was very honest with me. She gave a general impression that she didn't understand why she was able to get such information and that she might even be considered a bumbling backlit individual who is nothing but completely ordinary and sounds like the buzz of silence.
I kept reading and found Krouse is remembering out of both sides of her pen and is defiantly writing from two sides that both point inward and meet somewhere in the middle. I mean, Krouse says that she has the face that everyone just tells all of their secrets to and has absolutely no idea why. But later in the book, she talks like a trained interviewer and mentions drawing out information in very distinct methods such as keeping her hands on the tabletop palms upward, matching the subject's breathing, making sure to give reward and adoration, and withdrawing that when she failed to get the information she wants by drawing back and not seemingly paying attention (in policing it is more crowd when they shut down and give room when they talk). She also used physical issues to make the subjects feel sorry for her. I am not really sure what to believe, but she does know enough to say that when you do these things, "you can find out anything if you listen that way.”
I am not sure why Krouse feels the need to play herself down in most of the book, but that is something that she has to figure out. I just enjoyed the ride.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
Erika Krouse
INTERESTING for sure!
I enjoyed this investigative memoir of a woman who wants the reader to believe that she is a bumbling untrained and unskilled investigator. While I enjoyed the story and believed the victims and that the Universities are ready to protect their football team by pushing the "boys will be boys" attitude, I didn't think that Krouse was very honest with me. She gave a general impression that she didn't understand why she was able to get such information and that she might even be considered a bumbling backlit individual who is nothing but completely ordinary and sounds like the buzz of silence.
I kept reading and found Krouse is remembering out of both sides of her pen and is defiantly writing from two sides that both point inward and meet somewhere in the middle. I mean, Krouse says that she has the face that everyone just tells all of their secrets to and has absolutely no idea why. But later in the book, she talks like a trained interviewer and mentions drawing out information in very distinct methods such as keeping her hands on the tabletop palms upward, matching the subject's breathing, making sure to give reward and adoration, and withdrawing that when she failed to get the information she wants by drawing back and not seemingly paying attention (in policing it is more crowd when they shut down and give room when they talk). She also used physical issues to make the subjects feel sorry for her. I am not really sure what to believe, but she does know enough to say that when you do these things, "you can find out anything if you listen that way.”
I am not sure why Krouse feels the need to play herself down in most of the book, but that is something that she has to figure out. I just enjoyed the ride.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
November 8, 2022
Wow. This was intense.
March 14, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and Flatiron Books for this Advanced Reader's Copy in exchange for my honest review
In this enthralling, eerie, true crime story, Erika Krouse talks about her experience as a P.I. as she navigates through a s*xual assault case.
Erika Krouse is a P.I. And she is able to get anyone to tell her anything she wants. This is a skill that goes quite well for her. There's just something about her that makes people tell them whatever information she needs, without even knowing who she is. As she tries to work through a s*xual assault case at a university, the readers are insighted and brought with Krouse throughout her entire journey as the investigation and court case were happening.
I'm not an avid true crime nor nonfiction reader or in fact tv/movie watcher of it. But something about this was just so good. You just get sucked in by the first page and want to tag along the entire ride.
This book was both intriguing and yet heart-wrenching and empathetic simultaneously. I think that's what makes this so good. The fact that Erika Krouse, although her job is to be an investigator, is still a human who wants justice for these victims of assault and will tell the story for the people who can't in a way that is empathetic and informing about the case.
My heart goes out to the victims of this case, and I would also like to thank Erika Krouse for bringing this story to justice.
all in all: not my usual cup of tea but enjoyed deeply
4.25 stars
In this enthralling, eerie, true crime story, Erika Krouse talks about her experience as a P.I. as she navigates through a s*xual assault case.
Erika Krouse is a P.I. And she is able to get anyone to tell her anything she wants. This is a skill that goes quite well for her. There's just something about her that makes people tell them whatever information she needs, without even knowing who she is. As she tries to work through a s*xual assault case at a university, the readers are insighted and brought with Krouse throughout her entire journey as the investigation and court case were happening.
I'm not an avid true crime nor nonfiction reader or in fact tv/movie watcher of it. But something about this was just so good. You just get sucked in by the first page and want to tag along the entire ride.
This book was both intriguing and yet heart-wrenching and empathetic simultaneously. I think that's what makes this so good. The fact that Erika Krouse, although her job is to be an investigator, is still a human who wants justice for these victims of assault and will tell the story for the people who can't in a way that is empathetic and informing about the case.
My heart goes out to the victims of this case, and I would also like to thank Erika Krouse for bringing this story to justice.
all in all: not my usual cup of tea but enjoyed deeply
4.25 stars
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