Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World
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Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 238 ratings

Learn why the concept of "weird" is being reclaimed and turned into a badge of honor, used to show how being different—culturally, socially, physically, or mentally—can be a person's greatest strength.

Most of us have at some point in our lives felt like an outsider, sometimes considering ourselves "too weird" to fit in. Growing up as a Russian immigrant in West Texas, Olga Khazan always felt there was something different about her. This feeling has permeated her life, and as she embarked on a science writing career, she realized there were psychological connections between this feeling of being an outsider and both her struggles and successes later in life. She decided to reach out to other people who were unique in their environments to see if they had experienced similar feelings of alienation, and if so, to learn how they overcame them. Weird is based on in-person interviews with many of these individuals, such as a woman who is professionally surrounded by men, a liberal in a conservative area, and a Muslim in a predominantly Christian town. In addition, it provides actionable insights based on interviews with dozens of experts and a review of hundreds of scientific studies.

Weird explores why it is that we crave conformity, how that affects people who are different, and what they can do about it. First, the book dives into the history of social norms and why some people hew to them more strictly than others. Next, Khazan explores the causes behind—and the consequences of—social rejection. She then reveals the hidden upsides to being "weird," as well as the strategies that people who are different might use in order to achieve success in a society that values normalcy. Finally, the book follows the trajectories of unique individuals who either decided to be among others just like them; to stay weird; or to dwell somewhere in between.

Combining Khazan's own story with those of others and with fascinating takeaways from cutting-edge psychology research, Weird reveals how successful individuals learned to embrace their weirdness, using it to their advantage.

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Product details

Listening Length 9 hours
Author Olga Khazan
Narrator Renata Friedman
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date April 14, 2020
Publisher Hachette Audio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B0873CT9V2
Best Sellers Rank #154,155 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#400 in Social Psychology
#1,280 in Medical Social Psychology & Interactions
#1,614 in Popular Psychology Personality Study

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
238 global ratings
Entertaining and insightful book
5 Stars
Entertaining and insightful book
I love this book because of the down-to-earth Approach. I love reading the stories or accounts from so many different people. That’s what brings this book to life. I’m also going to buy more copies: one for a friend, and one for each of my daughters. Yes, it’s that good!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on April 18, 2023
"Weird" by Olga Khazan serves as a compelling investigation into the intricacies of human individuality. The book melds personal stories, in-depth interviews, and a grounding in social science to illuminate lives that shatter social norms.

Khazan's prose engages the reader, mixing insights and humor. She unpacks a range of psychological and sociological theories, setting a textured stage for the unique characters she presents, such as a physician with dwarfism and a questioning Mormon missionary.

Rather than advocating for conformity, Khazan exalts the virtues of owning one's quirks and peculiarities. Her narrative will resonate with those who have felt marginalized or different.

"Weird" stands as an insightful and balanced homage to the lives of those who defy convention. It's essential reading for anyone looking to unearth the empowering essence of their own singular journey.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2020
Olga Khazan’s Weird is a gem of a book that contains a wealth of stories about the power of knowing that you belong. So many authors in my field of psychology approach this topic from such a pointed angle that it makes their readers tear the front cover off the book while they read it on the subway, hide it from their partners under pillows, and generally run for the hills.

Books about the life-impact of shame and not-belonging have their place. But Khazan knows how to surgically handle shame’s radioactivity—mentioning that powerfully evocative word only five times. She risks herself for our benefit, leading with stories about herself and about others who realized that they can be true to their real selves AND be good at adapting rapidly to the pressures around them. When you’re done reading, she’s softly rearranged only a handful of molecules deep in your soul, and yet you somehow have x-ray resolution to trust yourself and trust others to be there for you when you take risks.

Weird is not about people who don’t belong, it’s about all of us—awkward, amazing, burned, beautiful—we are all weird.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2020
Rarely do I pre-order books. But because quirky is my beat, Khazan's 'Atlantic' articles were often entertaining, and I'm a little out there myself, pre-order this I did. Awaiting it with much anticipation, I read it the night of its release to find it a bit of a mixed bag.
The central thesis of the book: "It’s good to be a weirdo. Being different from other people around you confers hidden advantages that can help you in life and in work." Here's what I liked about it:
• It's a great feat of reporting on a diverse array of fish out of water, e.g. a Johns Hopkins surgery professor with dwarfism, a transgender mayor, a top-flight black female lawyer, a transgender scientist-entrepreneur, female racecar driver, and fugitives of both the Amish and Mormon variety. These engaging stories make the book a quick, fun read. The one about the lady who narrowly escaped a cyanide-laced Flavor-Aid cocktail at the Jonestown cult massacre was particularly hair-raising.
• Fun citations of the psychological literature: "Outsiders are already not concerned with what the in-crowd thinks of them, so they have more leeway to experiment and come up with the next iThing or bestseller. We see this outsider’s innovation phenomenon among immigrants in the U.S. today: statistically, they are more likely than native-born Americans to start businesses, to hold high-quality patents, and to have children who become highly educated."
• Relevant historical vignettes on weird-bashing: homophobia, anti-semitism, racism, eugenics
• Some useful suggestions from the science of personality change: how to reduce neuroticism (get therapy!) and increase extraversion (get out more!)
• A droll sense of humor that had me cracking up many times. Who knew sitting on cold concrete could give you pneumonia.

At the same time, the book didn't quite hit target for me. It's not exactly a self-help book, a compendium of teachable weirdness fables, or a memoir, though it has elements of all three. Here's what I liked less about the book:
• Khazan does a great job telling stories. But at the end of many, I was left wondering what conclusion to draw. What's the connection between the adversity and the eventual triumph? Can others duplicate it? How about the people who did the same thing but *didn't* succeed?
• The subjects are all interesting by definition, but somehow their stories fall just short of being inspiring. I felt like so many of the characters had depths left unplumbed.
• Instead of fully telling the story of one character at a time, Khazan has opted to break them up into multiple parts interleaved with one another ("Beverly Part 3", "Deana Part 2" etc). This makes for a disjointed narrative where it's hard to follow who's who, especially with 20 characters floating around in the book. Maybe that's why "Weird" feels more like a concatenation of magazine articles instead of a unitary book.
• The contemporary pop-culture references (Fyre Festival, KonMari) are cute but will probably leave non-millennials scratching their heads, and make no sense to readers in 5 years.
• Through no fault of the author, the editors and publishers have left a bewildering array of typos and nonsense words in the final ebook. Can Hachette not afford a copyeditor (or *any* editor)? Haven't you guys heard of spellcheck? If so, how did this menagerie of jabberwocky get in the book: "hetown", "fear.whic", "follotrailw-ups", "Feodogroup r", "polworld", "enclaves.paul", and my favorite, "fateen coulce". I read 160 books a year, and I've never seen such grating feats of neologism outside of 45's tweets. Fix the covfefe, please.

Finally, although some intellectual humility is always wise, Khazan's frequent self-deprecation, calling herself a "nerd" or a "pointy-headed journalist", not only diminishes her authority as a writer -- after all, we did buy this to learn from her -- but also goes counter to the book's overarching theme of normalizing (maybe even glorifying) weirdness. Most scholarship-winning Atlantic staff writers are pretty smart, so please let us root for you without making us feel, um, weird about it.

Even though I can't give "Weird" the wholehearted hallelujah of similarly-themed recent books like the outstanding "Range" by David Epstein and "Rare Breed" by Bonnell and Hansberger, I did learn some good stuff. The pulsating center of the book's empowering, empathetic message: "What I heard from Mary was what I heard over and over again from nonconformists: they were driven by a desire to improve the lot of others. After being picked on, marginalized, and sometimes outright insulted, they reflected their hurt feelings back as positive change. In small ways, making life better for others helped nonconformists ameliorate their own exclusion."
-- Ali Binazir, M.D., M.Phil., Happiness Engineer and author of 
The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible , the highest-rated dating book on Amazon, and  Should I Go to Medical School?: An Irreverent Guide to the Pros and Cons of a Career in Medicine
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Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2020
I appreciated the interviews and anecdotes. Not a research based book but still quite thought provoking and very well written.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2022
She is a fantastic writer who has done methodical research and then written it up in a way that is so interesting and readable. Interspersed with her research and interviews are anecdotes from her own experience as a Russian emigrating to America as a child, and being caught between the two cultures in many ways. The book not only delves into what it's like to be a "different" person (which has both positive and negative aspects), but also what makes others intolerant of the "weirdos" of the world. This weirdo loves it and would recommend it to everyone else, weirdo or not.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2023
I, along with the five other members of our book group, belong to the fragmented minority group sometimes known as “the Deaf community.” Khazan’s book spoke to us in a way few others have.

To the author, a sincere thank you!
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2020
I've long followed Olga Khazan's wonderful writing in the Atlantic, and this book is in the same tradition: Helpful yet funny, inspiring and insightful while still droll and narrative.

The fun starts before the book even starts. The book’s dedication reads: "To my parents, the original weirdos.” And goes onto unpack the feelings and insights of being an outsider, from imposter syndrome to the rise of Trump.

One part Gladwell, one part Tiny Fey, a highly recommended book.
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Top reviews from other countries

Mimi
4.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book with sound references
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 8, 2023
I liked this book so much it has driven me to post my first ever book review. I really enjoyed the variety of stories peppered with scientific and behaviour studies. If you want to understand your 'werido' status this is a good buy. It similar to Quite by Susan Cain, but I found Quite a bit dry and a slog in places. I really enjoyed the writing style, it's lively and funny and I flew through this book and would read anything by the author again.
Jamie Soo
5.0 out of 5 stars weird and wonderful
Reviewed in Canada on May 23, 2020
Olga Khazan tells stories about people who society deems “weird”, because they don’t conform to societal expectations. For example, there’s a story about a woman whose passion is to drive race cars in a male-dominated sport. Or, another story about a man who loves being an early childhood educator in a female-dominated occupation.

In the book, the people we deem as “weird” demonstrate courage for knowing who they are and showing up as their true selves. These stories provide inspiration to all of us who at one time or another may have felt “weird” and not a part of the in-group.

The book could have easily been called “Trailblazers” or “Nonconformists” or “Outsiders.” These titles would not have intrigued me, but “Weird” intrigued me.

This book will intrigue you too.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” – Dr. Seuss
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Vacy J. Vlazna
1.0 out of 5 stars Poor attempt
Reviewed in Australia on February 25, 2021
Perhaps a sociologist might get some value from this disjointed collection of predictable stories.
Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars a bit boring
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 9, 2020
I found this book a bit boring and not particularly illuminating. I was hoping in reading considerations and learning something on the subject, but it only tells the story of a dozen people from whom stories you don't really learn much besides the way of life is in some part of the USA. I won't suggest this book to anyone who wasn't american. It doesn't really cover what being weird is but only how some people are considered weird in their community. It's not a universal book and not very deep.
2 people found this helpful
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Henry L.
1.0 out of 5 stars The worst thing about this book is it's not about weird at all
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 31, 2020
All she does is write about herself for ages, which is completely boring, and tells me nothing about weirdness at all. She's not weird, just from a difficult background. And the book is for people who find being who they are difficult. My weirdness isn't difficult - I love it. And I'm proud of my weirdness. I wanted to read about how I could understand normal people better. Terrible book. Don't buy it.
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