Crying in H Mart: A Memoir
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Crying in H Mart: A Memoir Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 23,192 ratings

From the indie rock star of Japanese Breakfast fame, and author of the viral 2018 New Yorker essay that shares the title of this book, an unflinching, powerful memoir about growing up Korean American, losing her mother, and forging her own identity.

In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humor and heart, she tells of growing up one of the few Asian-American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, and performing gigs with her fledgling band - and meeting the man who would become her husband - her Korean-ness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer, when Michelle was 25, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

Vivacious and plainspoken, lyrical and honest, Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage. Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely, Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish, share, and enjoy many times.

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Product details

Listening Length 7 hours and 23 minutes
Author Michelle Zauner
Narrator Michelle Zauner
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date April 20, 2021
Publisher Random House Audio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B08FMVVQGF
Best Sellers Rank #709 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#2 in Gastronomy (Audible Books & Originals)
#3 in Grief & Loss (Audible Books & Originals)
#3 in Gastronomy Essays (Books)

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
23,192 global ratings
One Woman's Search for Identity
3 Stars
One Woman's Search for Identity
Growing up as one of the few kids who is different from everyone else can be difficult. It can be tough to fit in, and it can be a challenge for parents of such children to reign- in their child’s tendency to possibly become rebellious. Indie rock star Michelle Zauner knows what this feeling is like and it forms the basis of her memoir, Crying in H Mart.What you get with this book is a memoir about a Korean American girl, growing up in Eugene, Oregon and trying to find her identity. The author struggles at times to communicate with her parents and extended family, while taking comfort in things that she and her Korean relatives can relate to, like food. In fact, this book is very much about food, with references to baking and creating familiar Korean food dishes found throughout the read.The other important part of the book is the relationship the author had with her mother and how it developed from childhood through young adulthood. There were difficult times of understanding during her youth, which is common among most children. But the real test came later, when Zauner’s mother was diagnosed with cancer and had little time to live. Her attempts to reconcile with her mom, take care of her and provide comfort, all the way to her final days form a large portion of the book and the grief she feels following her mom’s death lingers on, from chapter to chapter.It's always fun to read books like this, detailing a celebrity’s roots and what they overcame during their younger days. But there are aspects of Crying in H Mart that I found a little off- putting and difficult to relate to. For one, the overwhelming feeling of grief and the time it took for the author to get over this grief was exhausting. I also lost my mom to cancer, but the grieving period didn’t drag on for this long. It could be a cultural difference, I suppose. Also, as much as I love to eat, the emphasis on food as comfort was a little over the top.Another disappointment that I had with the book is that there is very little mention or talk about the author’s band, Japanese Breakfast. I would have liked to know more about the forming of the band and its success. Instead, it is only mentioned sporadically, almost like it’s an unimportant side hustle. Maybe a sequel is in the works, one that focuses on the author’s success with her band.Life can be difficult when you stand out in the crowd. Crying in H Mart is a book about identity and coping; family relationships; food; and grief. It’s a good book overall, but not as compelling as I had hoped, as I was unable to relate to much of it. Still, it’s worth a read, especially if you’re someone who has had to cope with a similar upbringing.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2023
If you aren’t hungry when you pick up this book, you soon will be. Zauner describes Korean food with the passion of a zealot! I’ve never heard of most of the dishes she described in lush and mouthwatering detail but now I want to find the nearest Korean restaurant and dive in. I want to try all the different flavors of kimchi!

I loved so many things about this book, truly. I think I read it too fast and I already want a re-read. I lost my own mom to cancer at 22, such a tender age when you are just getting past all the teenage moodiness and resentment towards your mother and begin finding yourself in her and building a relationship again. Michelle’s deep love for her mom and how she waded through the months of watching her mother fade and deteriorate struck a deep chord in me. It was hard to read but powerful and vital.

I loved how vulnerable and honest this memoir was. It wasn’t preachy or given to justifying or explaining death. Michelle just told the story with straightforward and direct words that highlighted the realness of her experience and mostly lets you do your own interpreting of what it all means. I do love one section in particular where she goes all little off that script and gives some food for thought when she intertwines the relationship between kimchi and death, describing how cabbage could rot into nothing but with the right ingredients, the rotting process turns into a delicious dish that is integral to Korean culture. She chose to find the beauty in her mother’s death and instead of letting it rot, instead become a source of healing and sustenance.

Overall this is a remarkable book about a very human experience that many will face in some form or another when they lose someone vital to their life. Michelle told her story with raw candor and the added depth of her mixed heritage and love of Korean food that bound her to her mother was so compelling that I read the whole book in a day! This is a great book to explore death, culture, food and the power of the mother-daughter relationship.
15 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2024
Philip Roth opens his memoir Patrimony: A True Story with a long and detailed description of his father's health that sets the stage for what is about to come: "My father had lost most of the sight in his right eye by the time he'd reached eighty-six, but otherwise he seemed in phenomenal health for a man of his age when he came down with what the Florida doctor diagnosed, incorrectly, as Bell's palsy, a viral infection that causes paralysis, usually temporary, to one side of the face." Michelle Zauner does the same, but in a much more concise way: "Ever since my mom died, I cry in H Mart." They are different, but they are the same: they are sparked by pain and suffering, they pay their respects to the ones who have gone and are missed, and they intensely connect with their roots, Jewish and Korean, respectively. And through them, Philip Roth and Michelle Zauner strive to heal their pain, using writing as therapy, no matter how different their success in that endeavor may have been.

Michelle Zauner's writing may not be as ornamented as Philip Roth's, but her book is a treat all the same. Crying in H Mart is like listening to a candid confession from a close friend late at night, when everybody else has already left and you stay with her, a glass of wine and many stories. It is intimate, sincere, funny and sad, bittersweet, generously emotional. At the same time, it is also a gastronomic trip: Michelle meticulously uses traditional Korean food to connect and reconnect with her mother and her mother's relatives in Korea, and some descriptions of dishes, ingredients and dish preparations are as detailed as in a recipe book with mouth-watering pictures. There is even an almost literal transcription of one of Maangchi's tutorial videos, specifically the one where she prepares soothing jatjuk. By doing that, I think Michelle also tried to find roots in Asian references: take the Studio Ghibli movies with their beautiful scenes of food preparation, the importance of food in Haruki Murakami's novels or Bong Joon-Ho's movies. From my part, I am now a Maangchi fan.

The text is extremely fluid, moving from the main plot involving Michelle's mother to flashbacks of her childhood and adolescence in a very logical and well-connected way. Up to mid-book (when the main plot sort of resolves itself), the text is so thought-of that it even sounds excessively edited--it is like a perfectly engineered, scientifically-paced Hollywood story: there is the punchline at the end of each chapter making reference to an idea cited before and causing a shiver to run up your spine, there's the perfect pacing from funny and comfy moments to describing delicious Korean food and then back to dramatic scenes, there is suspense and plot twists, all smooth and seamless. The last half of the book loses some of its stamina (except for a poignant scene at her parents-in-law's house in Bucks County, all Cinema Paradiso-like), but it is still charming, lyrical and beautiful.

Philip Roth concludes his memoir concisely and in a rather bitter tone, with a short and dry sentence: "You must not forget anything." Michele grants us with a fluid, energetic and dreamlike last scene in a karaoke (noraebang), whose atmosphere made me think of Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanson in the karaoke scene in Lost in Translation, a strange simultaneous state of happiness and sadness. Indeed, this book is a testimony of Michelle's own "finding herself in translation", a funny feeling of being awkwardly out of context but even so pertaining, which is why this book seems to have resonated so much with many mixed-race children. Michelle trying her best to sing along Pearl Sister's Coffee Hanjan with her aunt Nami is indeed a beautiful image to conclude and summarize her search for her own identity by not denying but strengthening her Korean roots.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2024
I had never heard of Michelle Zauner/ Japanese Breakfast (56 y/o lady here). But I heard about this novel and it seemed like it might speak to me. (My mother is alive and doesn’t have cancer but is suffering from dementia.). Michelle is an incredibly potent writer. Funny and heartbreaking at the same time. I actually miss Michelle’s voice and eagerly await more from her!

Top reviews from other countries

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Jill Crossland
5.0 out of 5 stars More than a memoir
Reviewed in Canada on October 25, 2023
Vogue calls this book 'deeply necessary'; I raise that and also call it long overdue. Crying in H Mart doesn't use the over-analyzing, ponderous prose that so many books about cancer and death do; instead, it is refreshingly modern. Zauner skillfully takes us through her mother's diagnosis, the stages of her cancer and her eventual death. But she never loses touch with herself or gets swallowed whole by it all; instead, she somehow manages to grow personally and professionally.

While death is one of the worst things we face, it doesn't have to be all-consuming. Zauner channelled so many emotions as she prepared the meals of her Korean heritage and, in turn, shared this with her readers through a lyrical writing style.

We also learn about her fascinating extended family, fraught relationship with her father, rise as an indie rock musician, and the founding of Japanese Breakfast. Still, somehow, the book never overwhelms the reader.

Every culture deals with grief differently. People generalize that Europeans, particularly the British, are cold, especially in times of extreme sadness; this is far from true. There is nothing wrong with the fact that many of us grieve privately over a cup of tea and Peak Freans biscuits, but I will admit that might not be the copy for a good memoir.

Crying in H Mart holds nothing back, so if you are going through someone's cancer battle or are still raw from a recent death, this might not be the best book for you, but when you are ready, Zauner's words will bring some pain, some laughter, some soul searching and in the end like the author you will emerge stronger.

Michelle Zauner wanted 'to make the ordinary beautiful', and she succeeded.
Alessandra Avelar
5.0 out of 5 stars .
Reviewed in Brazil on December 16, 2022
A capa comum não é muito boa, ela tem um material bem molinho. O livro é perfeito, Michele zauner é perfeita 💖
5 people found this helpful
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Alexis Mendoza
5.0 out of 5 stars muy emocional
Reviewed in Mexico on April 7, 2023
se me hizo muy emocional, vale la pena
Cath James
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant and heartrenching
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 17, 2024
Such an emotional rollercoaster set to the best food porn ever (if you love Korean food as I do) and then she is also the front woman for Japanese Breakfast pop band. I want to read it all over again and make the dishes…
One person found this helpful
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Divya
5.0 out of 5 stars emotional 🥹
Reviewed in India on January 12, 2024
Crying in H Mart” by Michelle Zauner is a poignant memoir that delves into the intricate layers of identity, grief, and the profound dynamics of mother-daughter relationships. Zauner’s writing skillfully captures the essence of her Korean heritage, weaving a narrative that is both emotionally charged and beautifully articulated.

The memoir takes readers on a compelling journey through the author’s experiences, exploring the depths of loss, the complexities of love, and the profound impact of cultural roots. Zauner’s ability to convey raw and authentic emotions makes each page resonate with a deep sense of honesty. As she navigates the challenges of her personal journey, readers are drawn into a narrative that is not just about individual experiences but also about the broader themes of self-discovery and acceptance.

The richness of Zauner’s storytelling lies in her vivid descriptions and the palpable emotions she conveys. From the aisles of H Mart to the complexities of grief, every aspect of the narrative is infused with a sense of authenticity. “Crying in H Mart” is more than a memoir; it’s a powerful exploration of the human experience and the universal quest for belonging. This book is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a poignant reminder of the importance of embracing one’s roots in the journey of self-discovery.
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Divya
5.0 out of 5 stars emotional 🥹
Reviewed in India on January 12, 2024
Crying in H Mart” by Michelle Zauner is a poignant memoir that delves into the intricate layers of identity, grief, and the profound dynamics of mother-daughter relationships. Zauner’s writing skillfully captures the essence of her Korean heritage, weaving a narrative that is both emotionally charged and beautifully articulated.

The memoir takes readers on a compelling journey through the author’s experiences, exploring the depths of loss, the complexities of love, and the profound impact of cultural roots. Zauner’s ability to convey raw and authentic emotions makes each page resonate with a deep sense of honesty. As she navigates the challenges of her personal journey, readers are drawn into a narrative that is not just about individual experiences but also about the broader themes of self-discovery and acceptance.

The richness of Zauner’s storytelling lies in her vivid descriptions and the palpable emotions she conveys. From the aisles of H Mart to the complexities of grief, every aspect of the narrative is infused with a sense of authenticity. “Crying in H Mart” is more than a memoir; it’s a powerful exploration of the human experience and the universal quest for belonging. This book is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a poignant reminder of the importance of embracing one’s roots in the journey of self-discovery.
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