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224 pages, Hardcover
First published July 12, 2022
A raccoon ran across the clogged surface of the water, a glass bottle in its jaws, god of want.
I had an aunt whose baby died in its sleep so soundlessly, she didn’t believe in its death. She dressed it, rocked it, petted its head, not letting us take the body away, until one night we tricked her, replacing the baby with a Costco frozen baked potato. She mothered the potato instead, wrapped it in a blanket, pretended it was safe in the custody of her touch. I had an aunt who died in a drunk-driving accident, in a sober-driving accident, in a suicide, in a typhoon, in the middle of the day while blow-drying her hair, in the evening while opening a window, in the morning while hiking to the family grave, in an attempt to get away from her husband, in an attempt to get away from her father, in an attempt to leave the country, in an attempt to get into another one, in an attempt to get her nose done, in an attempt to love a son, in an attempt to outrun a river, in an attempt to reincarnate as rain. ~Auntland
My mother always used to joke: In this family, it’s one in the ground and a dozen more dangling from the trees, waiting to be plucked. It’s one buried and a hundred more begging to be born. ~The Chorus of Dead Cousins
She’s one of those peasant women who’s so short she looks like a pack animal from afar, a body built to carry things. I’m a better mother to her son than she is. That’s what marriage is, motherhood, except the man doesn’t do you the courtesy of growing up. ~Xífù
Fire is a form of memory, she says: Smoke is what survives after loss, what is inhaled by the sky and recycled into night. ~Mandarin Speakers
She always said if our home was broken into, we should platter ourselves and play dead, foam a bit at the mouth. The way to win, she told us, is to live. ~Anchor
In the city where she grew up, they killed trees every few years, so that the roots didn’t grow too deep and puncture straight through the bottom of the island. The palms burned for days, and the air was so opaque you couldn’t see your own mother if you were nursing from her breast. ~The La-La Store
Sometimes with a death there’s a delayed reaction, like sometimes it takes a long time for the blood to come back once it’s been cut loose. It doesn’t want to come back, to be bricked inside a body, to be shown a shape. It wants to snake away and breed with other red things. ~Nüwa
All you have to do, she said, is eat me. Then you can throw me up somewhere backstage, after. ~Eating Pussy
I could see his ribs through the fabric of his wifebeater, his chest rattling, his skin pimpled like something plucked. Hornets were buried inside his bones, and if you shook him at night, he woke up in the morning with a mouth full of wings. ~Nine-Headed Birds
Mrs. Tai called me a dyke sometimes, and I told her that was right. Born to withhold water, want. ~Dykes
a vase of red-dyed peanuts you eat alone in the dark the nuts new as your teeth your grandmother said never eat alone or your mouth’s first language will be loneliness when she stopped eating you knew she was going to become a language when the body no longer needs itself to live it leaves it trees it grows into alone ~Episodes of Hoarders
I was another of her months, a chronological want, nothing like love. ~Homophone
My mother once told me that every moth is the soul of someone lost and that’s why you’re not supposed to kill them. That’s why there are so many. ~Resident Aliens
He would die where he was born and live in one body his whole life. He would never become a ghost in a story. A ghost had no body to come back to. ~Virginia Slims
I tested how long I could go without speaking, how well I could thread silence down my own throat, but it ended as soon as my mother said my name. ~Mariela
Mama never thought of her voice as something to use, to wield: She thought of it as a guest, something that was housed in her, a ghost flown into her belly. It was a haunting she welcomed, the way her voice felt both foreign-born and native to her body. ~Meals for Mourners