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The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success Hardcover – October 19, 2021

by Dan Sullivan (Author), Dr. Benjamin Hardy (Author)

2,737 ratings

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As he did in WHO NOT HOW, Dr. Benjamin Hardy shares one of Dan Sullivan’s simple yet profound teachings that until now has been known only to his Strategic Coach clients: unsuccessful people focus on “The Gap,” but successful people focus on “The Gain.”

"[T]his one simple concept is a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. Everything that psychologists know about how to create a high-functioning and successful person can be achieved using The GAP and the GAIN."- Dr. Benjamin Hardy

Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal," a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the GAP." However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the GAIN."

That is where the GAP and the GAIN concept comes in. It was developed by legendary entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan and is based on his work with tens of thousands of successful entrepreneurs. When Dan's coaching clients periodically take stock of all that they've accomplished-both personally and professionally-they are often shocked at how much they have actually achieved. They weren't able to appreciate their progress because no matter how much they were getting done, they were usually measuring themselves against their ideals or goals.

In this book you will learn that measuring your current self vs. your former self has enormous psychological benefits. And that's really the key to this deceptively simple yet multi-layered concept that will have you feeling good, feeling grateful, and feeling like you are making progress even when times are tough, which will in turn bolster motivation, confidence, and future success.

If you're finding that happiness eludes you no matter how much you've achieved, then learning this easy mindset shift will set you on a life-changing path to greater fulfillment and success.

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About the Author

Dan Sullivan is the world's foremost expert on entrepreneurship and has coached more successful entrepreneurs than anyone on the planet. He is the co-founder of Strategic Coach®, the leading entrepreneurial coaching program in the world, and author of more than 50 publications on entrepreneurial success. Over the past 30+ years, Strategic Coach has provided teaching and training to more than 20,000 entrepreneurs. He is the co-author, along with Dr. Benjamin Hardy, of Who Not How and The Gap and the Gain.

Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist, author, and the world’s leading expert on the application of the Future Self science. His books have sold hundreds of thousands of copies, and his blogs have been read by hundreds of millions. He and his wife, Lauren, are the parents of six kids. They live in Orlando, Florida.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Hay House Business
Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 19, 2021
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 264 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1401964362
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1401964368
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.6 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.81 x 0.9 x 8.75 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #3,662 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #29 in Business Motivation & Self-Improvement (Books)
- #48 in Success Self-Help
- #50 in Motivational Management & Leadership

Customer Reviews:
2,737 ratings

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Dan Sullivan
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Dan Sullivan is founder and president of The Strategic Coach Inc. A visionary, an innovator, and a gifted conceptual thinker, Dan has over 35 years’ experience as a highly regarded speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to entrepreneurial individuals and groups. Dan’s strong belief in and commitment to the power of the entrepreneur is evident in all areas of Strategic Coach® and its successful coaching program, which works to help entrepreneurs reach their full potential in both their business and personal lives.
He is author of over 40 publications, including The Wall Street Journal Bestseller: Who Not How, The Great Crossover, The 21st Century Agent, Creative Destruction, and How The Best Get Better®. He is co-author of The Laws of Lifetime Growth and The Advisor Century.
Dan is married to Babs Smith, his partner in business and in life. They jointly own and operate The Strategic Coach Inc., with offices in Toronto, Chicago, and the U.K. New workshops are also being held in Los Angeles and Vancouver. Dan and Babs reside in Toronto.
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Benjamin P. Hardy
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Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and the co-founder of Scaling. com, a rigorous and performance-based scaling program. Dr. Hardy’s books have sold millions of copies, and he regularly leads groups and organizations on The Science of Scaling and the realization of impossible goals. He lives with his wife, Lauren, and their seven children in Orlando, Florida.
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Customer reviews

2,737 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book life-changing and appreciate how it helps create a paradigm shift in thinking. Moreover, the content is easy to read and understand, with action steps that are simple to implement. They consider it a must-read for self-improvement. However, several customers note that the book is repetitive.

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Inspirational content Ease of reading Readability Actionable Recompetition

124 customers mention "Inspirational content"124 positive0 negative

Customers find the book inspirational, describing it as life-changing and a great way to create a paradigm shift in thinking. They appreciate how it helps improve their outlook on life and serves as a simple guide for gaining happiness today.

"I appreciate the simplicity of the tools and approaches offered in the book. The 3 Wins practice at the end of the day can be transformational." Read more

"...The Gap and The Gain" offers readers a transformative mindset shift, encouraging them to measure success not against unattainable ideals but against..." Read more

"I liked this book, I found it helpful with the idea of measuring backward from where you’ve been and how far you’ve come vs. looking at what you do..." Read more

"A very necessary reminder. It’s really hard to escape the comparison game in your career and personal life...." Read more

32 customers mention "Ease of reading"32 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand, with well-written content and action steps that are simple to implement.

"I appreciate the simplicity of the tools and approaches offered in the book. The 3 Wins practice at the end of the day can be transformational." Read more

"...practices of Dan Sullivan, this book provides a practical and accessible guide for high-achievers seeking greater happiness, confidence, and success..." Read more

"...I like finding the silver lining. It was also an easy read, which I like...." Read more

"This book is so well written & as a coach, it gives me very helpful tips on exploring your thinking & approach to life...." Read more

28 customers mention "Readability"28 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and consider it a must-read, with one customer noting it helps transform thinking, while another mentions it is suitable for all ages.

"...Otherwise, a good read for self-improvement." Read more

"Ben does a great job helping readers see that living in the GAIN creates abundance through personal comparison to ones previous self...." Read more

"...The book is great on its own--absolutely worth it (and when I give the book away, I'm giving the hardcover)...." Read more

"...It's an excellent read. I recommend sitting down with this book as well as a notebook and pen. Take time with this book...." Read more

5 customers mention "Actionable"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book actionable, with one mentioning it provides lots of steps to follow.

"...Highly recommended for those seeking a fresh perspective and actionable insights." Read more

"...Ideas are practical and actionable in most circumstances...." Read more

"Lots of actionable steps that I’ll be adding to my daily routine! Great read. Definitely worth it! Three more words. Lol" Read more

"Benjamin Hardy is a fantastic writer who takes ideas and makes them actionable...." Read more

11 customers mention "Recompetition"0 positive11 negative

Customers find the book repetitive and boring, with one customer describing it as "filler trash."

"...Even though the book was a quick read and repetitive at times, it did change my perspective on how to measure success...." Read more

"...interesting way of learning from your experiences, but the book is very repetitive. I think this could have been an article rather than a book." Read more

"...was hopeful I’d learn from it but I noticed early on that it was getting repetitive and just taking up space by over exaggerating the point...." Read more

"...concept can be a helpful mindset to adopt, but I found the book repeating the same things and contains a high level of dis jointed, rushed stories...." Read more

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Amazon Customer
Real, Actionable, Life Changing
Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2025
Format: KindleVerified Purchase

This book transformed the way I celebrate wins in my business and personal life. It also helped me realize I sucked at being grateful for those around me who worked hard. This book called me to become intentional with my praise and gratitude.

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Walter Freiberg
Extremely Useful and Important
Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2025
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
I appreciate the simplicity of the tools and approaches offered in the book. The 3 Wins practice at the end of the day can be transformational.

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Tarrent-Arthur Henry
A Transformative Mindset Shift
Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2023
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
"The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success" by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan introduces a simple yet profound concept that has the potential to transform the way individuals, particularly high-achievers, measure and perceive their progress. The central idea revolves around shifting focus from the elusive "Gap" — the space between one's current reality and an idealized future — to the tangible "Gain" — the progress made relative to one's past self.

Dr. Benjamin Hardy, drawing on Dan Sullivan's teachings, positions this concept as a masterclass in positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. The book emphasizes that measuring oneself against an ever-moving ideal often leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, especially for ambitious individuals. Instead, the authors advocate for evaluating progress by comparing one's current self to their former self, thereby fostering a sense of appreciation for achievements and creating a positive mindset.

The GAP and the GAIN concept, developed through Sullivan's extensive work with successful entrepreneurs, becomes a psychological tool that allows individuals to acknowledge and celebrate their accomplishments. By periodically reflecting on personal and professional achievements, readers can experience a shift in perspective, realizing the extent of their progress that might have been overlooked while constantly aiming for distant goals.

The book suggests that this mindset shift carries significant psychological benefits, fostering feelings of gratitude, motivation, and confidence. It is presented as a deceptively simple yet multi-layered concept that can lead to greater fulfillment and success. The authors argue that even during challenging times, understanding and applying the GAP and the GAIN concept can create a positive feedback loop, boosting motivation and paving the way for future accomplishments.

"The Gap and The Gain" offers readers a transformative mindset shift, encouraging them to measure success not against unattainable ideals but against their own past achievements. With its roots in the coaching practices of Dan Sullivan, this book provides a practical and accessible guide for high-achievers seeking greater happiness, confidence, and success by focusing on the tangible gains made in their journey of personal and professional development.

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Amazon Customer
Had some solid take away points.
Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2025
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I liked this book, I found it helpful with the idea of measuring backward from where you’ve been and how far you’ve come vs. looking at what you don’t have and always chasing more. I like finding the silver lining. It was also an easy read, which I like.
Some parts of the book teeter on what I might call toxic positivity and that part didn’t jive with me.
Otherwise, a good read for self-improvement.

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Nathan Kallal
Great book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2025
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
Quite possibly one of the best books I have ever read. It was so great in audio that I bought a physical copy.

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Chris
Great read, highly recommend
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2024
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
A very necessary reminder. It’s really hard to escape the comparison game in your career and personal life. At some point you stop looking at how much you’ve accomplished because you’re taught to go for the next level or target. You end up becoming depressed by progress instead of empowered by it. I read this book every couple months to reinforce that yes-I should always be improving but unless I track it and celebrate it goes forgotten. Thanks Ben & Dan

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3 people found this helpful

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Taner Neighbors
amazing once again!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 31, 2025
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
These co-authors are just incredible, this is the third book that I’ve read of theirs this month, it’s amazing how simple life can be when you really focus on how to spend every situation into a positive and how to learn from each experience in life!!

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2 people found this helpful

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Mike Cardascia
Are you living in the Gap or the Gain?!
Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2025
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

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One of my all time favorite books! 10/10 recommend

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Felix A.
Very impressive!
Reviewed in Germany on June 6, 2023
Format: KindleVerified Purchase

This book is well written. It brought to light what I had always tried to get across to most people I communicate with. I am very glad someone put it out for more people to read. I would recommend it to everyone.

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Lamar Johnson
An Entrepreneur in training
Reviewed in Australia on December 16, 2024
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
This book, this writing, these reflective activities and the mindset that follows is timely and energising. It’s at times a very personal read, as you excavate while at others times a mindful read as it causes you to slow down and take stock. Practical examples, which are rooted in research across a range of disciplines, establishes validity for me while the personal examples of his journey as a person, businessmen, student, and writer seem rooted in transparency and humility. Thanks for taking the time to write this! I’ll be sharing this one with the crew.

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Saori
Good mindset
Reviewed in Canada on June 3, 2025
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
This book helped me to escape my negative self talk habit. I was suffered from blaming myself from too much expectations of my abilities. But just looked back what I have done since I was 20s, there are a great career change and have built trust. I want to say thank you for the book and author.

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Xanti Garate
Una especie de bálsamo para la autoestima
Reviewed in Spain on July 9, 2024
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
Es liberador reconocerte a ti mismo que el camino que ya has recorrido es impresionante, y que por tanto, no hay motivo para no estar orgulloso de uno mismo.
Desde ese punto de alta estima, cualquier reto del futuro es más asequible.
Ese estado mental es lo que nos regala este libro, por eso parece de lectura obligatoria.

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Deep
Amazing Book that shifts the paradigm
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 24, 2022
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
This book was suggested to me by my boss. It is an amazing book that can help us change our paradigm from Gap to Gain. It is not an easy shift, we have to constantly be aware and vigilant to ensure that we swing the pendulum back to the paradigm of "gain" whenever we find ourselves looking through the lens of the "gap".
I will highly recommend it.

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The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success Hardcover – October 19, 2021

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5.0 out of 5 stars Very impressive!

5.0 out of 5 stars An Entrepreneur in training

5.0 out of 5 stars Good mindset

5.0 out of 5 stars Una especie de bálsamo para la autoestima

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Book that shifts the paradigm

Very impressive!

An Entrepreneur in training

Good mindset

Una especie de bálsamo para la autoestima

Amazing Book that shifts the paradigm